#Extremely misogynistic shit literally everywhere

[psikonauti]

Congratulations to Angela Carini and every woman and girl who has her place taken by a man.

Men out of women's sports and all our safe spaces now!

[elysian467]

Reader's Rant

Okay so I had finished reading the Legacy of Gods Series few days ago so here are my thoughts(after lots of thinking,psychoanalysing and self arguing)

1)RINA PROMOTING MISOGYNISTIC VIEWS:

•The "virgin trope" is seriously not a trope at this point when each and every book has this.She makes it seem as if the fmc has commited blasphemy(What's her obsession with this word anyways.Its everywhere in her books.The blasphemy😯) if she has slept with someone before the mc.Wth!?And every male character is a casanova.Like we will find virgin Mcs hot too okay?? Especially in Ava's case like I thought okay finally we have a fmc who has had a life before mc but no?Like she makes it seem Ava have a grandiose sex life and later makes her a virgin too!?Like its okay to have experience and its totally okay to not marry the first guy you sleep with.

I also think that having literally ALL men experienced in EVERY SINGLE THING is also so frustrating.Like it would have been cool if Eli or Creighton were not u know??She makes it seem as a chore the men have to do the second they turn 18

•Another example of misogyny is the extreme sense of ownership they have for all the women in their life. Like the dad's are seriously crossing limits.Protectiveness is cute but the no-twat-is-good-enough-for-my-princess shit is exhausting.Jeremy and Landon are wayyy too controlling.Its literally offensive.You will HATE such a brother and dad for life and beyond.

•She made all women literal doormats.Enough said. (except Ava,Ari and Maya-who she turned into a villain because she has a life so she should not be the good sister)

•The fmcs had all sort of problems, worries,insecurities blah blah which could not be cured by besties, family, friends, therapists nope!They could only be cured within 2 chapters at most once the perfect mc decides to help!

•Over possessiveness.Hated it.Like listen I can still somehow get Killian's jealousy towards Remi(by dark romance standards ONLY) but Creighton has been close friends with Remi since birth and how he literally does not allow a single friendly touch!?And his insta posts each statng MINE MINE MINE repeatedly felt embarrassing and cringe rather than hot and when he tells her to stop following people like WHAT!?

2)UNFULFILLED TROPES AND PROMISES:

I am the kind of reader who gives great attention to the blurbs and tropes before reading a book.

•God of Pain is a grumpy x sunshine.Now I believe this was mentioned due to the appeal and popularity of the trope but Annika is not a sunshine at all.Sunshine character is not one which ACTS and pretends to be happy,outgoing and perfect while she has her insecurities,fears and troubles eat her up inside(her words)

•God of fury has been said to have the trope mafia prince x GOLDEN BOY which is not accurate.Anyone who has read the books should know this already ig.

•God of war which happens to be my fav from the series has false claimed tropes too.Like it was NOT a marriage of convenience.Eli forced the proximity upon Ava by forcing her to marry him(I believe forced proximity means both leads who hate each other are forced to be closer)and the sunshine point is similar as that of Annika.Imagine if someone is searching for a stand alone marriage of convenience and forced proximity....they'll be sad,angry and frustrated u know(Not me.I loved the book)

•Being an apathatic sociopath and selfish narcissist is different.Research your attributes Rina.

•Rina literally backtracks upon Eli's feelings in gow.Repeatedly mentions how Eli had no feelings for Ava before Uni.While she had stated in Royal Elite epilogue how Eli kisses new born Ava,calls her pretty,is asking Aiden for marriage pact,stares at her.Even in gow Ava mentions that he caused guys disappear even when she was in HIGH SCHOOL."Yeah he had no interest at all"😑(THE LAST LINE WAS SARCASM.YES SOME PEOPLE NEED IT TO BE SPELLED OUT.your welcome)

•Mia's selective mutism was played with totally wrong.AGAIN RESEARCH RINA!

3)PROBLEMS IN THE BOOKS

•The extremely perfect mcs who are geniuses(Einstein who?),strong,attractive all the positive attributes who can think of other than a heart ofc.Like is it wrong if at least one mc has worked hard for the way they are!?Nope these are born perfections who can cure world hunger but will not because the world does not deserve it. Fmcs have all sorts of issues(other than being spineless,submissive doormats.Not Ava,Ari,Maya) which will be cured by the MC!Yeah!(Though the way Eli helps Ava is actually book perfect,heart warming and realistic.Its quite real that her parents and Cecily babied her and could not handle hard decisions that could benefit her)

•BRATS PLAYING GODS!All the mcs are over privileged brats who have done nothing but be born to "earn" their "god" status.Like they are literal UNI kids.Like they were all spoiled brats basically criminals who were setting things(buildings) on fire and hurting and killing people like what!?

•THEIR AGES AND THEIR*ahem* ACTIONS!?Their ages in their respective books:

Killian(19)-Glyndon(19)😱😲😵😶 Creighton(20)-Annika(17-18) Jeremy(23-24)-Cecily(20) Landon(23)-Mia(18-19) Nikolai(19)-Brandon(23) Eli and Ava had time skip so it was okay(29 and 23)

Like their ages are seriously concerning.I especially wanna talk about Creighton and Annika.Annika is literally a child and her book basically had her having some sort of Stockholm Syndrome.

I ABSOLUTELY HATED how creighton won't let Annika speak or talk to him without him adding the numbers iykyk.LIKE I hate how I have read soo many posts yet none mentions it!!?And how Annika is shown to have been cleared of her problems after she has sex !?And Creigh acts like a divorced 38 year old guy with an adult kid while Annika is has 0 personality(Haters can go cry a river)I really wanted Annika to leave him u know?And what was that soap opera shit with the gun and crying and sobbing and kidnapping(Which is okay because she revealed to Ava,Glyn,Cecy that its her fantasy😑)and because we are going all in so lets add suicide shit too.And yeah she was ready to kill herself yesterday and is sunshine and rainbows today yeah!!

Killian has had loads of experience in every kind of sexual activity with both men and women and in clubs and whatnot at 19 and he is bored of all that now😂😑

Ohh I almost forgot!Its literally sooo stupid and meaningless that the girls experience whatever fantasy they shared during a drunk night with each other😂😂😂Like Rina basically wants to sorta convey that the girls "wished" for it😂(Think before you wish folks!)

Zero family dynamics other than the fathers making a one chapter visit talking about the Everlasting love for their wives,their doormat of a princess daughters and zero say in all the "emotional trauma" ALL of them have(they wish)

Landon favourism was not good.Especially in gof where it should have been Niko's moment.

Its enough for today I think.

I am not posting it as a hate post.It is RANT as stated,a critical analysis.(Being going through a book hangover from Gow....partially cured through the MADDEST OBSESSION OMG YES!!!)

One last thing!!!!I get that its the creator's wish and whatever but the fact that Rina isn't writing a Remi (An Mc with emotions!!!!)Ariella(Strong fmc!The blasphemy! )and Maya Ilya book sorta shows how she can't change her formula.

[vmpkai]

hold up lemme just. . .

the rev. set & co with social media!

aight there we go

hamilton

twitter

he will spend several hours arguing with a person trying to prove em wrong ( *cough cough* thomas *cough cough* )

he probably sends like 20 threads per answer too cuz we all know he exceeds the character limit every single time

has gotten suspended several times for some of his insults

during his presidency, he @ trump to call him out on his shit ( like he should )

has been blocked by a shitton of politicians who can't be bothered with his shit

people love him for his hot takes abt the government

king of twitter drama

laurens

pinterest

has two accounts: one for art, one for memes

has a shitton of boards

nobody - not even hammy boy - is allowed to see them

his memes are literally the most brainrot shit ever ( mood )

occasionally posts his art but uses it for inspiration for the most part

most of his unhinged comments rest here

has a fucking gay gay homo gay board ( he's just like me fr )

laffayette

instagram

has so many selfies on there

yk he is popular asf cuz he's so handsome

has roped the others into taking some with him

his posts are either runway model level of quality or the most shittiest of shitpost

he gets a shitton of down HORRENDOUS thirst comments and he is absolutely proud of that ( and trust me they are absolutely foul i'm talking the shit you see ppl say abt jjk characters and laf will encourage tf out of it )

mulligan

tumblr

just prefers it to everywhere else ( as he should )

runs the biggest fashion blog in all of new york ( as he fucken SHOULD )

loves posting his designs on there

and the crowd goes fucking wild for his designs

ofc his mates are gonna be in the comments hyping him up

they're also his models

defo has a personal account where he is just an absolute gremlin ( average tumblr user )

angelica

twitch ( hear me out )

extremely popular pro gamer

absolutely dunks on everyone she plays against

mainly plays cod and fortnite

people show up for her skills and her roasts cuz we all know she fucking cooks all the misogynistic dorks on there ( it's giving feminist packgod, aight? )

eliza

youtube

has a cooking channel

absolutely adores her audience

has defo fallen asleep several times watching those iceberg videos on the most randomest of topics

the recommended page does not match the face whatsoever ( she doesn't open youtube around others because of it )

even though she denies it constantly, she watches commentary channels on drama she's interested in

and peggy

tiktok

she got millions of followers

mainly posts funny skits with her sisters

her fyp are diabolical, disgraceful, discombobulating, shameful ( she just like me fr /j )

only communicates in tiktoks + she will send you shit in the middle of the night

madison

tumblr

he prefers the controlled chaos of it to anywhere else

posts about his favorite books

has a sizeable audience on there

refuses to tell anyone ( *cough cough* thomas *cough cough* ) about his blog

jefferson

twitter

sole purpose is to wind up hamilton every chance he gets

also loves the drama on there

bros the type of person to have thousands of followers and then either follows nobody, or like up to 5 people total

it boosts his ever growing ego

burr

reddit

yk he frequents r/vent to complain about hamilton

also loves sifting through r/aita ( he has most definitely posted some stuff in there too )

he's in such a random group of subreddits

questions his humanity every day whenever he paroozes that godforsaken site

he was a mod for a subreddit but he got kicked for being too much of a fence sitter ( hamilton found out and did NOT let that slide lmfao )

washington

facebook

he's a facebook dad absolutely

has fallen for the conspiracy theory traps a few times

his posts are just all dad things

he does NOT know how to use emojis at fucking all and it's glorious

king george

instagram

flexes his money, wealth and all that jazz

also lives for the tea on there ( he will literally sit in the comments spamming tea emojis whenever a fight was to break out lmfao )

goes on live just to annoy everyone around him ( usually works )

posts on his story like 20 times a day

his ego is the size of england thanks to that site

tried to start beef after laf turned down a collab and temporarily caused world war 3 between the fanbases

[gacha-incels]

after their continued failure to incite the users of reddit, 4chan and weibo, getting their livestream chat blocked and doxxing comments deleted, asking for help from fellow Nexon misogynists (?) and their truck protest amounting to nothing, the Korean incels are now trying to reviewbomb Genshin Impact. The reason for all this being that they think the character designer (this information is not available to the public, so it’s coming from illegal leaked documents) for Furina and Faruzan is a feminist from her twitter account which they aren’t even 100% sure is actually hers. And of course like always they think every single instance of a character’s hands in normal repose or pointing is supposed to be 🤏, which they believe is a secret feminist message from the illustrator calling their dicks small, which is a literal “hate crime” to them.

All of this being a nutjob smokescreen for simply their extremely violent hatred of women. They want this Korean woman to be publicly punished and blacklisted for saying on her personal twitter essentially that she finds men annoying when they chew loudly and doesn’t like being stalked. For some of these guys maybe they really do believe this stupid 🤏 shit is a hate crime. However I think the overarching effect they want is to uphold and enforce the patriarchal society where these men believe women are in “their place”. Going after companies for something ridiculous like a hand shape is a display of power. Going after women who say they find men annoying while at the same time these incel men are posting the most depraved and disgusting things on her twitter and their little message boards is a display of power. It’s a group of misogynist men saying to women: “see, I can get you fired and blacklisted for something as stupid as this. And if you dare to say anything regarding women’s rights, you’ll be targeted too.” They want to create a society of fear for women and scare them into not speaking up about the myriad of issues effecting them there. So when these guys say “jump” to a company like Nexon, and Nexon asks “how high?” this is a huge victory. Project Moon was a huge victory for them I believe especially because that company’s works had so many female fans. They get used to local companies doing this. However when they go after a huge game not from Korea that has a larger international following like Genshin and get told “fuck off”, they cannot accept this. To them it’s a crack in the male supremacist world, so they cannot stop the pressure until Genshin Impact gives in. I think that’s a big part of why they aren’t stopping after so many failures and so much humiliation. I’m not saying this is unique to Korean men of course, misogyny and upholding the patriarchy have been happening everywhere for thousands of years. But we have multiple case studies happening right before us that we can analyze as they happen, so it would be remiss not to talk about them.

[sillygrossgirl]

India does seem to have a disproportionally high amount of attacks against women though. Like sure, every country is inherently misogynist, but it seems like Indian men are constantly attacking women. Anecdotal, but I know a few women who have travelled extensively, and all of them have been extremely close to being assaulted or have been assaulted by dudes in India specifically. It’s like Indian men specifically don’t comprehend the idea of “no” 😔

Right and i literally acknowledged this in my post. I am not denying this huge cultural problem, it just simply was not the topic i wanted to discuss.

There is a huge misogyny problem in south asian culture 100%. And i honestly feel like some of them know it is wrong- but they also know they will most probably get away with it even if there is loads of evidence because the government is corrupt as FUCK and don't do jack shit. There is a lot of nuance to this aswell. That's another aspect ppl r just ignoring. I'm seeing a lot of racist + xenophobic comments everywhere because people want to perpetuate the creepy Indian man stereotype and then just leave it at that. My point is that again yes there is a huge cultural aspect we cannot ignore but if we only address that we are overlooking the fact that it is NOT an Indian/ brown men problem, it is a men problem.

Idk like i remember researching rape statistics in the US and the UK and seeing how even in cases where the rapist is convicted and found guilty, they get like 2 years a year etc. and how everyone is and was so enraged by these statistics in the West. Now imagine if the laws were different to where there were little to no repercussions. Imagine a rapist knowing that even if their victim had all of the physical evidence and called rhe police, they'd be sent away. Imagine how much worse it'd be. I dont say this to dismiss cultural problems in India, I say this because i see so many comments saying it's Indian men being Indian. But the conversation just seems to stop there.. ppl seem to be very comfortable with their racist ideals that "well yeah i mean it's brown men ofcourse that'll happen! Moving on." Yes the idea that women just need to deal with being raped, that its their fault if they dress revealingly etc is fucked and plays a huge part.

Like yes it is a misogynistic culture (which is something most cultures rely on to function butttt thats a topic for another day) however the government is corrupt and basically refuses to change and enforce laws to protect women. This is why Indian people are doing mass protests - ofcourse culturally there's issues but they can see that change must start with legislation+ proper enforcement of it.

Also, lets take a broader perspective in terms on nationality/ countries. Ur saying Indian men specifically have a problem. The same could be said about say, Thailand where the age of consent is disgustingly low. Don't thousands of men from the western countries (US, UK, Germany etc) travel to these countries just to rape women, boys, men, children, anything really and get away with it..? So is it the "Indian men" or the "Thai men" or is it "men". This is why I am emphasising how most cultures are misogynistic because if we just leave the conversation at "Indian men specifically don't comprehend the idea of no" or "seems like Indian men are constantly attacking women" then we are disallowing our perspectives to grow and for society to evolve.

Ughhh idk, does this make sense to anyone?? I know that most ppl who follow me are white though and may not have the full perspective/ not be willing to challenge racist prejudices they carry enough to understand me.

[rotationalsymmetry]

So, I'm listening to You're Wrong About struggling to say something meaningful about the coexistence of the history of racist whites lynching black men over (sometimes completely made up) sexual violence against white women with at the same time women often not being believed about rape. And in my opinion doing a pretty bad job. And I think I can do better. So, here goes. Cw for discussion of sexual violence and racist and misogynist thinking.

Rosa parks episode about 20 minutes in, if you want context.

People mean two different, conflicting things by rape depending on whether their sexual ethics are based on chastity or autonomy. People who value autonomy have a reasonable understanding of rape. We think it's bad because it's a violation of body autonomy. My body is mine. If someone does something to it that I didn't want them to, that's bad. Period. (Also often sexual assault is deeply traumatizing, but the core issue isn't suffering, it's bodily autonomy.)

And part of that is it's still rape when a boyfriend or husband does it, but not rape if it's consensual. I mean, definitionally, right?

People whose sexual ethics are based on chastity have a completely different, and wrong, understanding of rape. They think it's a violation of chastity. There are some downstream implications of this. One, that an unchaste woman (like a sex worker) can't be raped. Two, that chaste sexual contact eg between a husband and wife cannot be rape. Three, that consensual but unchaste sexual contact is either rape or basically the same thing as rape -- so that, for instance, if a teenaged white girl chooses to have a sexual relationship with a teenaged black boy, people with this mindset are going to see that as being literally the same thing as him raping her -- and may well see rape as basically the same thing as her choosing to have sex, in terms of how they see the girl afterwards. Dirty. Soiled. That sort of thing. No longer respectable.

When you look at it that way, it all makes sense. When racist white dudes killed a black guy over a woman, it wasn't her they were ever "protecting." It was her reproductive capacity. They wouldn't give a shit if she got herself into a Goodbye Earl situation and needed help getting away from a husband who raped her, because that's chaste -- that can't result in (horrors!) a white woman having a black/mixed race/non-white baby -- and they don't care about her they care about her chastity.

And when men don't give a fuck about what women say or want, that can go both ways -- either not believing her when she says that nice white guy on the swim team raped her, or refusing to recognize that a white girl might want to date a black boy (boy as in literal teenager here) becuade she likes him and she wants to.

And I'm kind of phrasing this all as men this women that, but I'm not really trying to make men the bad guys either, systematic problems are systematic problems. Things are just better when lynch mobs aren't an option. When the moral onus does not fall to individuals to refuse to participate in a lynch mob (either by being part of the lynching itself or by being part of what incites one) because lynch mobs just aren't a thing.

And...mostly we've done that one. Which doesn't mean things are over, because we're getting a resurgence in white supremacy and because mass incarceration is still a thing and extremely racist police departments are still a thing, and because a general cultural trend of expressing anger around sexual violence as though combatting sexual violence is mostly about identifying and going after people who commit sexual violence can result in lynch mob like problems, as when trans women get driven off of social media due to harassment campaigns. But we also live in a society where a white woman can date or marry a black dude and it's just a thing, just a love story, not A Threat To The White Race.

Or at least I do. I guess I can't speak for everywhere. There's interracial romances on TV being presented as no big deal though and that has to mean something.

[twooowars]

if there is a hell i KNOW my father in law is going there when he dies. where the fuck do i even begin? this story will just Have to exclude little details. there is so very very much and it's been transpiring over the course of a few years.

so this dude is a manipulative, abusive, useless, garbage piece of shit whose gaslighting bullshit started decades ago. i won't go too in depth on this part bc i dont want to overshare someone else's information but there will be parts of this story where you may think jesus christ, how is this still going on? buddy i ask myself the same kinds of questions but let ye who has a healthy relationship with your parents cast the first stone. the context needed to have sympathy here is that this is a Long LONG complex situation that we're talking about. for a Bit if background, my partner didnt see or hear from his father between 2015 and 2019. so. take that as you will going forward.

it started about 3 years ago when a series of careless decisions left Me (somehow one of the most level-headed people involved!!!!! if you can imagine!!!!!!!) in possession of literal decades worth of my father in law's hoarded shit. being a hoarder is not a moral failing, but deciding to get rid of the stuff and pawning it all off on your son and his partner is Annoying to say the very fucking least. this was obnoxious but i thought At Most that it was a shitty but temporary situation.

WRONG

he expected us to hold on to it until he was ready to have it back. my partner being Too Patient and Honestly The Real Victim Here for having this man as a father chose to honour this wish. as you can imagine this inch became a mile quickly.

he started demanding to crash on the couch, threatening suicide and claiming domestic violence and things of that nature. i cant confirm or deny the domestic violence allegations but i will say that he has made these claims everywhere he has ever lived. this turned very quickly into him manipulating my partner into letting him move in with us. i knew it would go horribly but my hands were sort of tied (knew FIL could and would use any excuse to isolate partner from his loved ones so ive been treading the Bad Guy line very carefully here). i should also point out that FIL's girlfriend at the time was His Perfect Equal in every way and so my partner was biased towards hating her more, as she was someone he had just met.

immediately i had problems living with him. i have Always hated him because he used to misgender me constantly, so i should state this bias now. he seems to view me through a lens that is transphobic, homophobic and misogynistic all at once - that is to say, he believes i should be responsible for all the housework, and that i should listen to his every word and meet his every demand without complaint. it started out with him talking at me Constantly. i don't mean we were conversing, i mean that this man would sit behind me while i did chores and tell stories about pranks he used to pull in the 80s all day, getting annoyed if i tried to change the topic. throughout the course of these stories it became constantly clearer and clearer to me that he was absolutely an irredeemable piece of shit. to put it bluntly, almost all his stories put him in a bad light and he didnt seem to realise at all. he started to get really annoyed with me in general for not laughing at his bullshit, challenging his constant use of racial slurs, and not appreciating the homophobic comments he made about me on a daily basis. (i know you read "homophobic" and "use of slurs" and now you have a burning question, so i will answer; yes he Does call me a faggot). he quickly became my number 1 sworn enemy. to be extremely clear, yes, the fact that he is sitting and watching housework be done does mean he doesnt do any himself. he has outright stated that he thinks i should be obligated to take care of him. we'll return to this point. fucking trust me.

by this point in the story you're wondering why my partner has not kicked him out of the house. i KNOW. but it does become more complicated when you realise that at the time my partner was working 11 hour shifts every day and FIL was a completely different guy around him. still obnoxious and a bit arrogant, but nowhere near the human waste i had come to know. it started to get to the point where i was furiously angry at this dude 24/7 but my partner had never seen him do more than make an out of touch joke. this is the part where i say something vague about how i have mental health issues that i dont want to air out, but suffice to say that making me look paranoid and reactive is Not a hard task.

one night while i was doing dishes, i stopped to use the bathroom and FIL broke 3 of my wine glasses while i was gone. a gigantic fight ensued where he attempted to convince me i had actually broken them myself and my partner walked in on this happening. this is when i first thought the tides would turn and things would get better. partner atarted to see the issues but wanted to give him the chance to change. at this point he is still under the impression that his dad is someone who is perpetually down on his luck, who has had a difficult life and has been mistreated by everyone around him. basically is treating him like a shelter dog who is lashing out but still good at heart. he hasnt heard the same stories yet as i have of the guy who has had everything in his life handed to him for free, but is such a dickhead that he has fucked over everyone who ever tried to help him and fucked himself doubly in the process. after a certain point it started to wear on our ability to spend time together when i was constantly complaining about his dad instead of talking to him about literally anything else, so i honestly started to carry this on my own for a bit.

anyway, it becomes one of those "sit him down" situations. to remind you, this is a borderline senior citizen and not a toddler. they set out a timeline for him to stop drinking so heavily (alcoholism is also not a moral failing but it does have consequences for the people around you, so i get why he thought this would help) and as it became more and more obvious to my partner that his dad was not actually aiming to reach Any of these goals and had Zero respect for his boundaries, we set up our own little secret timeline for me to get a job so we could afford to move again. (i do have a job rn but i am often unemployed due to uhhh Obvious Reasons). so, things are going well yes? the veneer is cracking, he is proving himself selfish and unreliable. this should be about where it ends, yes?

WRONG

MIL passed extremely suddenly last july. the relationship there is somehow even more complex than this one so i won't even go into it, but we'll just say that this Fucked my partner up mentally very badly. he had a lot of trauma open back up and suddenly became very invested in fixing his relationships with his family members. i have never had to process grief on this level so i cant judge it. he decided to give his dad one more chance and for a little while i tried to be cool with this.

the relationship between FIL and i continued to deteriorate. after the wine glass fiasco i literally have refused to speak to him. this has not changed in about a year. i Hate this man more than i can say and my life is better for not interacting with him. i digress. me ignoring him becomes very Very contentious around the house, again it seems like i am the one Causing the majority of household tension because i am the most reactive to it. this sucks shit but is usually how things go when you are prone to being overemotional. a massive argument ensues between my partner and i where we eventually come to the decision that i will move out for a few months until our lease naturally ends. we obviously didnt break up or i would have referred to him as my ex at some point but i knew removing the buffer would make him see that his dad is a pure shithead. i dont know where else to interject this but the dude has also stolen a total of 26 full packs of cigarettes from me and this alone warrants the death penalty.

so. let's talk about the last 5 months, shall we?

turns out this dude was somehow putting on airs on my behalf. all of his behaviour immediately got more extreme because he felt like he had won. the buzzkill faggot (his words) was gone and he could really cut loose. cutting loose involved such choices as

leaving strangers in the house unattended for hours, resulting in theft on multiple occasions totalling thousands

physically removing important pieces from the shower (the knobs, mainly) whenever i visit and forgetting where he's hidden them so that no one can shower for days

continuing to refuse housework despite the fact there is one less person in the house now to help out and the house is in a neighbourhood with roaches

smoking in the house (we have a pet)

allowing strangers to smoke meth in the house (once again smoking meth is not a moral failing but to reiterate we do have a pet and she is just Two Inch Large)

turning heaters off and even opening windows in the dead of winter (i cant see this one as anything but an outright attempt to kill the mouse as even he ends up walking around in a coat and hat inside when he does this)

taking my partner's food out of the freezer and leaving it out on the counters all day long to replace it with his own shit (which he will not eat, he eats out every day because he cant cook)

tripling down on the racist shit

... and more!

not only did he do all of these things but at some point he has managed to blame every single one of these actions on me. he literally outright said that he doesn't do housework because i should be coming over and doing it. to be clear I HAVE BEEN STAYING WITH FRIENDS AND RELATIVES FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS. at this point youre Really thinking "you've kicked him out, right?" and im pleased to report that we have. but the story is still not over because the cockroach refuses to die and the entire house is filled with his shit. (remember his shit from the beginning? yeah.) he has been given a firm date he Has to leave by but until then we're still dealing with this nightmare human (in my opinion, we should have just thrown his shit to the side of the road, but im trying to be Calm Guy lately). he's reacting to being kicked out by throwing a number of temper tantrums each day, making sure his schedule is Unknowable, and insulting everyone around him at every possible opportunity. also, doing all the same shit that everyone has been mad at him for for decades and continuing somehow to blame it on Me.

so, where does this leave us? well, at the moment we are trying to finalize our next steps. we do actually have a bit longer on this lease than we've led him to believe, so we have until the fall to sort this out. to be honest it is much easier and calmer knowing that i dont have to consider this horrible man or his shit this time. as for where he's going to put it all, i don't know and i dont care. if he chooses to leave without taking it and ditch it all on us, in our neighbourhood i promise you it will all last 3 hours max on the roadside.

im annoyed, angry, and frustrated that all of this happened. but moreso than anything i am so fucking pleased to say that i think i am Finally rid of my father in law. praise be to the unknown cyber being.

there is more to this story, more details of provable lies he's told, more offensive obnoxious and downright horrible shit he has said to me and about me as well as to and about others, the kleptomania, the fact that he has been trying to make me act as his secretary in addition to all of this and file government paperwork on his behalf, the fact he has been pretending he once slept with my mother since 1986, the list goes on so far and so deep that i couldnt possibly write it all down here. but, this is the abridged version of my personal nightmare in-law story. if you read it i hope you hate him as much as i do.

[crvvys]

seeing stuff like that is why I think black women just need to look out for ourselves lol bc even if you can possibly make a cohesive argument regarding racist white women and how they do or don’t enable white male violence, very few black women will give you the time of day to even do that shit. at least very few black American women. bc you have to be extremely removed from the situation to be able to do that and will always come off as gauche.

i think bc she was the last one to die out of the villains who participated in killing Emmett Till, people celebrated that so her name was everywhere again but I wouldn’t say she was blamed for his death more than the white men that killed him. as a kid I knew of this story and my go to thought was not wow what an evil white woman! it was “wow white PEOPLE are evil”. bc white men were directly responsible and I never did not know that. and I’m sure I’m not the only person that knew these white men were most at fault. but white women did participate in facilitating violence against black people. she was one of those. she didn’t literally kill the child but any argument that tries to be objective about what she strictly did and didn’t do to help murder a child is going to look as if you are downplaying white women’s participation in white male violence. is the outrage at white women’s participation in racism also used to fuel flames that white women are somehow worse than white men? I will say yes. but Emmett Till’s case to ME was not one of those times.

this is like when people were trying to say white women tears was a bad idea. yes it likely is now but among black folks, we knew what it meant. it was another form of weaponising whiteness. but the term has been removed from its context and blown up into a general excuse to being misogynistic against white women which I am still against but we can’t take what the current social climate is doing and apply that to where we THINK things come from.

why is that Carolyn Bryant post on my dash again

[mithliya]

Just read that one anon about me being "subtly racist" because I called you and your mutual desisapphic out for being misogynistic (or in your case defending it) towards bi women and defending/promoting prejudice.

So anon I AM A BROWN LESBIAN MYSELF. Forgive me for making the sin of not stating my race where I thought it would be unnecessary to. I am a brown woman who still lives in her native country and has never even set foot in any Western country.

And that's the exact reason why I was "obsessed with 2 brown lesbians" because I mainly follow people on radblr who are woc. Preferably woc who are SSA. And I came across that bs from those accounts.

This is also where I would like to add in that all the shit lesbians mostly get mad over bi women is based on the batshit assumption that it happens everywhere. Ik because I have interacted within the few lgb circles I could find in my locality after shit load of research searching for them. In my country it doesn't mean matter if you're bi or homo. Everybody here is shamed for their ssa. Heteronormativity is so much more normalized here that only people within the lgb community know what bisexual means. When bi people learn about their sexuality they don't have to make efforts to deal with their osa but with how society looks at their ssa. Very few bi people fake their ssa or take it for granted from my experience with bisexuals in my area. Discovering you're attracted to the opposite sex in such an extremely homophobic environment isn't easy for anyone. Thank the fucking gods lgb people in my country understand this so there's less to no intracommunity issues the way other countries (specifically Western countries) do.

This is why I get so angry when people speak about bisexuals in a condescending way without giving 2 minutes to think about how this would be affecting a person who lives in that kind of environment. There are bi people who grew up in such environments and it would be nice to not throw misogynistic or victim-blaming comments at bi women or defend prejudice against them as "not a major issue" or have them generalized (I mean everybody here does understand generalizing lesbians is wrong so why is it different for bi women?).

"Subtle racism" my ass. I have got the right to discuss intracommunity issues within my own community. At least be sure of whether the person is white or not before throwing accusations.

we aren’t mutuals, she doesn’t even follow me lol but also skimmed the rest bc fr u should stop ranting at me for once and go rant at the ppl u take issue with. but the argument that bi women are only like this in the west 💀💀💀💀 i have met lesbians in bahrain and lemme tell u! i didn’t mention bi women once but the two very normie very bahraini not at all westernised lesbians i met (one hardly even speaks english) told me what they experienced. one of them’s gf left her to marry a man. when she got upset, her gf said “you’re only mad because you wouldn’t be able to get a man with how you look!”. the lesbian in question is butch & a bodybuilder btw. that resulted in the lesbian marrying a man who, lucky for her, died soon after they got married but not before going to her family and complaining that she won’t have sex with him. another lesbian told me about how her girlfriend, a bi woman, told her she’ll leave her for a man and marry a man when she’s ready to. so much for a western phenomena and bi women & lesbians having 0 difference in the east. the idea that the lesbians complaining about bi women being homophobic and prioritising relationships with men are complaining about a purely western phenomena is insane to me. because bi women totally wouldn’t do or say that & have even more motivation in more homophobic environments??? also the idea tht it’s harder to figure out ur OSA when in a homophobic environment is also wild. leave me alone, unfollow me preferably bc i don’t take how you’ve been ranting at me, over things ive literally not said, so kindly

[zefive]

the why i hate the ‘Tony is Peter’s dad’ thing post

also, i haven’t seen Infinity War/Endgame. and, tbh, nothing that went down in those would change my mind anyway, so whatever

anyway. on to my reasons 👏

1) how Tony treats Peter in Homecoming/Civil War

- first of all, Tony blackmails Peter into  coming with him to the parking lot throw down. Peter tries to get out of it like, twice? maybe thrice? and when Tony doesn’t immediately get his way, he threatens to tell Aunt May that Peter’s Spiderman. this is literally how their relationship starts. so, yanno. not a good start

- and it does not get any better at all: Tony just drops Peter after that, basically forsaking any kind of responsibility he kind of, you know, literally took on after he blackmailed a kid into coming to Germany with him. but whatever. then Peter nearly drowns, and Tony completely and utterly brushes Peter off. he’s not interested in what Peter has to say, he’s not listening

- he also has the suit he gives Peter installed with an instant kill mode. i know some people have tried to defend that, by saying it was hidden away and shit, but like. you don’t give a kid a gun, even if the safety is on. beside, Tony was going to upgrade it anyway. he literally already had an upgraded version ready. saying that it wasn’t ‘meant’ to be activated isn’t a defense. Tony still gave a lethal weapon to a kid

- the way Tony handles Peter after the boat incident. the whole reason Peter was even there, was because, as far as he knew, Tony wasn’t even aware of what was going on. yes, Tony ‘warned him off’, but he should have told Peter what he was doing, should have kept him up to date on this crap. Tony’s too arrogant to even consider that Peter (a teenager) might not listen to him. and god, the rest of the scene? i just rewatched it, to get a more clear memory of it, and it’s vile. Peter’s fifteen. he’s fifteen, he’s a kid, and he was trying to help. but Tony doesn’t care- he doesn’t consider Peter’s view at all, so thinks about himself. he’s instantly attacking Peter. Peter asks if everyone’s okay, and Tony immediately goes “no thanks to you,” and when Peter tries to rightfully defend himself, Tony covers himself with the “who do you think called the FBI?”, ignoring the fact that, again, if he had talked to Peter, none of this would have happened. Tony is the adult in this situation. and then, he starts guilt tripping. he yells in Peter’s face (all Peter did was correct Tony on his age), throws in the “what if someone had died?”, puts it square on Peter’s shoulder, and then drags it back to himself with the whole “but if you had died,  feel like that would have been on me,” implying that, if that were to happen, he’d feel a misplaced sense of guilt. and then he takes the suit back. and like, let me remind you: Peter was already doing superhero work before Tony get involved. taking the suit away is not going to change this, and Tony should know this. so Tony is basically just taking the suit away to punish Peter, ignoring the fact that Peter is, absolutely, going to go out again. he’s willingly putting Peter in more danger, just to punish Peter

- and then, just to add the cherry on top of all this, Tony makes Peter get clothes from the garbage. Tony is a billionaire. and instead of buying this kid actual clothes, Peter comes home “smelling like garbage”. and considering Peter had been nowhere near garbage, and the only thing different about him is the clothes he’s wearing, well

- and, of course, when it’s all over, Tony basically just doubles-down on everything; he was right to take away the suit, he did nothing wrong, and sure, Peter could be an asset to the team, but after Tony mentors him some more. because Peter is nothing without Tony. Tony made Peter who he is. this is all because of Tony

2) Aunt May

so, here’s the thing. if it was just the above mentioned stuff, i wouldn’t hate it as much as i do. sure, i’d still absolutely dislike it, because yikes, but hey. it’s fandom. who cares, right? i don’t gotta look at it

except it’s everywhere. and again, okay, i can ignore this. i already basically ignore canon for the Tony in my head, it’s fine, not my cup of tea, but, whatever-

except. except

Aunt May exists

to this fandom - to Tony stans - Aunt May doesn’t exist. she’s not a factor. sure, sometimes they’ll throw her in, pepper her into the work, but she’s never as important as Tony, because to fandom, Aunt May isn’t important to Peter

to them, Peter really might as well have been an orphan. fandom absolutely ignores the fact that Aunt May is Peter’s mother figure, his guardian, his family. she is extremely important to Peter, is a huge part of his life, and yet- to fandom, she’s nothing more than the lady Peter lives with

and it’s misogynistic as hell

think about it. here’s this woman, who loves Peter, who raised him, who is pretty much his mom. and somehow, that’s not good enough. instead, let’s insert Tony; Tony who, in canon, does not treat Peter anywhere as well as May does. who, at best, would be a mediocre, distant father-figure to Peter. and that’s better, somehow

sure, it’s because Tony is The Favourite. but isn’t it just funny, how popular this trend is? how coincidental it is, that Peter only has a mother figure in his life

and hell, it’s not like fandom adds Tony to Peter’s life. Aunt May almost always gets tossed out. she gets pushed to the side. she’s not as important as Tony

i’m not saying the trope itself is misogynistic. mostly because i don’t want to say that; but the way fandom does it? yeah. that’s misogynistic

and i’m just not here for it

[nbapprentice]

Literally as a paki kid in places where we DONT have an age of consent and pedos are everywhere while the goverment tries to keep up the image that they're not, even if the age of consent is 14 or whatever, that's still a kid and there will be psychological damages. And the actual kids are against this until theyre being groomed, and we've been fighting against this for years so like. If you know the age of consent in everywhere then uhhhhh pedo pussy shit lol

jesus thats so fucking terrifying im so sorry anon

and right lmfao Sometimes, Pedophiles Make The Laws!!! maybe the reason its not higher than 16 is bc freaks are in there, making the call from inside the house!!

and ok here’s when i Big Talk: #csa #pedophilia #incest

tbh To Be Honest tbqfh there is a LOT of historical evidence that even In Ye Olde Times, before we had ~science~ to prove how our brain matures n grows, there were a lot of cultures that knew that a 16yo isnt a fucking adult, yes even in the times that everyone’s So Sure everybody had a house and 34 children by 13. 

the myth that ppl would marry at 13 because “life expectancy was so low” is that: a fucking myth. life expectancy was lower than ours, yeah, but most people died during INFANCY or CHILDHOOD. once that hurdle was over, ppl didn’t drop dead as much as you think! (save a plague or two) there’s church records from the middle ages that show most of the couples getting married were around 18 to 20 years old. yknow. when people actually begin truly to mature into full adults.

in ancient Rome, a young man was actually not given full control over his financial and business life until he was twenty-fucking-five.

in a recent wiki walk, i also found out about courtesy names, which were names given to young men in china at 20 years of age as a sign of passage into adulthood.

wow… look at that… it’s almost like people ARE aware of what makes a grown-ass adult and have been aware for a LONG TIME.

ofc the problem arises bc we also know women were married off very early, during their early teens sometimes. It Must Obviously Be A Coincidence /s that the societies that did this were extremely misogynistic!!!!!!!! (AND STILL ARE- AND IM NOT TALKING ABT [token non-western nation] IM TALKING ABT GOOD CHRISTIAN BULLSHIT. literally youtube US child bride and u’ll fucking see)(not to dismiss whats going on in other countries yknow, its just everybody thinks the US is so spick and span huh! even argentina has a law where a 14yo can get married w their parents’ permission what the FUCK)

you know where most of the “ppl were married off young” shit came from? nobility. nobility, politics, royalty, absolute fucking bullshit that required the use of people (99% of the time women) as tools of power. not so coincidentally, a lot of incest was involved in these relationships, too. i can assure you most of the masses probably saw this as morally fucking repulsive, despite having no power or say in it (but this part wasnt written down cuz. yknow. nobody cares enough abt the plebs to write down what they had to say lol).

that’s what it all was, and is. pedophilia (and incest) are about power. trauma is a tool of control. and ppl wanting to excuse it with “um but the laws/culture lol” rly wanna pretend that evil people aren’t in control.

gross.

[rpbetter]

I noticed the earlier anon used the word feminist as a negative, when feminism, as it's defined, doesn't really have bias for women, it is about equality, if I'm not mistaken? So any "feminism" that comes with "man hating" is actually not feminism at all, but a messed up radical version of it. Something I think is important to remember, unless my own definitions are wrong? That's how we get scores of people denouncing "feminism" under the impression it's somehow bad for society or hateful. Sorry if this isn't rp related enough. I just notice this shift in definitions happening so much on Tumblr, even in the RPC with muns and muses, and I think that's scary.

No, this is absolutely related enough, and very much important enough! I should have said something, it was my intention, but intention doesn't stand well in the place of actually doing it, does it? Lesson for everyone on not hurrying things out! And I apologize for not having addressed that, I really dropped the ball there.

So, thank you for the opportunity to address it now, Anon!

Your definition is totally correct, yes, but for anyone who wishes to question that, let me put it below:

"belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests" - Miriam-Webster

Feminism is founded upon equality of the sexes, not the elevating of one above the other. That's literally the opposite of equality. Because women have historically been unequal, the movement is about achieving equality for women. Just because it focuses on women, as the unequal sex, does not mean it is only for women, only about women, only for/about women as defined by radicals, or the condemnation of men/those designated as men by radicals.

If you hate men, you're not a feminist.

Tumblr is incredibly bad for shifting definitions to suit. With using "feminism" in this way (unless the intention was to imply "feminism" as in, the false idea of it) I think the issue gets divided in its origin into people who have genuinely radical beliefs and those who want to feel like their beliefs are not radical.

You have people who are totally alright with being radical "feminists," their primary issue with this is that the more obvious signs of them being thus are picked up on and condemned. They have to put their shit out there in a way that doesn't register as being radical, and they do, so long as it isn't something tumblr is really good at recognizing. I don't just mean vaguely "on tumblr," I mean it everywhere on tumblr outside of those groups themselves.

That's great and all that anything is so recognized, but it means that less obvious shit slides through and is embraced, not infrequently in innocuous seeming ways in places like fandom and the RPC - ie: if you write a male muse as an afab mun when you clearly could've picked a female muse, you're perpetuating a problem of male preference. (Also male gaze, lack of female characters in media, female characters who are not as well developed as their male counterparts, and on and on and on, there's an argument for it all with these people.)

When people are willing to accept any external reason for why they feel slighted, they can get behind that kind of narrative. People also tend to not just want to be in a group, they want to be in the right group. A group that is the most vociferous in the correct way is going to be perceived as the right group. They didn't say anything that flagged them for being radical in ways that most of tumblr is going to recognize, so there isn't any reason to not adopt these ideas and speech patterns, right?

Then, you have people who do exactly that. They've either no clue that their behavior is exclusionary "feminism," which isn't fucking feminism, but we can't force them to stop calling it that, or they have some suspicions that what they say and do is...a little icky. If they say "feminism" enough times, that makes it true, riiiight? You can put a good spin on being shitty to male muns and muses and anyone you think might be amab with the things you put out there if you slap on the justification, preferably with Sass and Humor, that it's Feminism...right?

Yeah, no, absolutely not right lol but here we are.

So, tumblr adopts yet another term it honestly has no idea the true meaning of in order to justify, weaponize, vilify, excuse, etc. etc. etc. It's gross, and we should say it. Every time we use an important, real-life term incorrectly, that's actually something legitimately problematic we're doing.

It is scary because, if nothing else, it waters down the meaning. Like in throwing "fascist," "toxic," "gaslighting," "nazi," "ableism," and so on at fucking everything and everyone that one doesn't like or agree with. I genuinely believe that only, like, 20% of the RPC knows what "gaslighting" even is at this point.

At the worst, it means we're less able to recognize everything from true radfems to an abusive relationship.

Somewhere in between, and not to trivialize it, these things have the power of bullying and divisive bullshit in the RPC. What happens when you directly address someone's shitty behavior toward you, or say openly that you do not like it when people do something in RP? Well, you can't toss a grain of rice in the RPC without it hitting someone who is mentally ill or otherwise divergent, so...congratulations, you are now an ableist.

The idea of feminism is twisted and weaponized as well. I see a lot of extremely inappropriate commentary on men that makes the rounds, things that, even if they're not about RP or fandom, make male muns in the community uncomfortable and isolated when they're already a minority in most of the RPC. It is reflected in fandom as well, with the way male characters are viewed and treated being addressed as though it is a strike for feminism to treat men, real and fictional, in ways that women have been subjected to. When anyone takes issue, they're sexist, misogynistic, taking it too seriously, and/or anti-feminist.

When all of that is against the foundation of feminism.

It's not alright, and we should be more aware of the words we're using. They have actual meaning, that meaning is important.

I don't think that the other anon meant it that way, I think they are just, firstly frustrated, secondly, have run into the people in the RPC who pull this kind of thing with the backing of their warped "feminism." So, I don't want that anon to feel like they're being drug or anything, this is just a lesson for all of us to be more careful about what we're saying when we describe situations!

Even if you think you know (especially a particularly "charged" one) a term inside and out, double check it now and then anyway through an impartial source to be certain before you speak. There's no shame in being careful!

(in reference to this response)

[violetsandshrikes]

used as a colonial/settler concept? absolutely. the concept of taming ~new land~ or otherwise is extremely fucked up and harmful to indigenous people everywhere. generalised european farming is also terrible for most environments it’s been introduced to and is strip mining them of essential nutrients and biodiversity.

at the same time, cottagecore has been used as an overarching term by multiple different marginizalied groups to express their desire to not constantly live in distress or an environment that is consistently damaging for them and i don’t begrudge them that. i personally find most people saying they’re anti cottagecore to be performative.

the majority of the cottagecore community aren’t planning on going on to colonise and continuously oppress local people, and are actively trying to engage with indigenous voices, permaculture, environmentalism and other necessary concepts for the continued health and survival of literally everyone. the people who want the trad wife/manifest destiny/white supremecist “cottagecore” literally don’t give shit about explanations of why term/idea may have harmful connotations to certain groups, and they’re not going to stop regardless.

all that’s being done is that 1) people are abandoning an aesthetic to be co-opted by those racist/misogynistic fuckers 2) people move onto another concept/aesthetic without actually engaging why the way they view land or these issues are problematic. shaming people for enjoying cottagecore doesn’t do shit, and instead we should be pushing for reframing of concepts and education about why certain ideas are harmful and damaging, and where improvements can be made.

the only place for racists, fascists or otherwise in the cottagecore + naturecore + other environmental tag is in the compost as fertiliser, and that’s that

[adambstingus]

12 Former Porn Addicts Describe The Pitfalls Of A Serious Online Sex Habit

2. THE FATHER WHO KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE OF AN ADDICTION TO PORN

Within a fairly short period of time, I found myself watching up to eight hours of pornography a day, every day.It wasnt unusual for me to be on a business trip and stay up until 3 or 4AM watching porn, knowing full well that I had an 8AM meeting the next morning where I was making a presentation to sell multi-million dollar software to corporate directors.I was thinking seriously about walking over to the Wal-Mart not too far from where I lived, buying a gun, sticking it in my mouth and pulling the trigger. It was when I started thinking about writing a suicide note to my boysthat, thank God, is when I woke up. I decided that it wasnt the legacy I was going to leave to my kids: the father who killed himself because of an addiction to porn.

3. THE FACT I WAS AROUSED BY SHIT AND ANIMAL PORN MEANT I HAD BRAIN DAMAGE

Since age 19, I’ve been completely unable to control my use of pornography on the Internet, my compulsive masturbation, my driving need to seduce women, and in recent years my nasty habit of spending hundreds of dollars a night in strip clubs, not so much making it rain as shamefully shoveling a wad of 20s at a stripper before scuttling away.My therapist said the fact I was aroused by shit and animal porn meant I had brain damage, simple as that. His conclusion took a couple of days to sink in. Essentially, the part of my mind responsible for rational decision-making has been overridden by a huge desire for more pleasure chemicals, and I do stupid, dangerous things to get those chemicals no matter the consequences. That’s addiction.

4. I AM A RECOVERING PORN ADDICT; I AM ALSO A 25-YEAR-OLD WOMAN

I am a recovering porn addict. I am also a 25-year-old woman.I watched and masturbated to movies in the “Girlvert” and “Meatholes” series, where the obvious goal was to humiliate and degrade the women involved. The disturbing thing was that I had been performing in porn for a few years myself by then, and I knew exactly the sort of cruelty, abuse and exploitation that went on behind the scenes. Yet I still watched and got off to these horribly violent and misogynist forms of pornography.

6. I WAS LYING TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING

It was starting to take up large chunks of my time; I was lying to people about what I was doing in my spare time. I’d stay up viewing all night and go to work on an hour’s sleep; it was affecting my productivity, my health, my relationships and friendships. There were times I didn’t turn up to people’s parties or I wouldn’t go out, because I’d been viewing all day, or I’d think, I’ll just view one more thing before I leave. It’s a bit like when someone goes into a casino and they lose track of time and then they realize they’ve been in there for a day.

7. Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions

Like millions of other well-functioning married men with issues, I turned to pornography. For several years I wanked myself stupid. Time and space was filled with horniness beyond my wildest dreams. Time that might otherwise have been used to be creative, productive, or even just plain bored got devoured by lust. In any moment where there was a desire for some escape from life I scored some porn.I hated porn. I couldnt sniff her, worship her or probe the beauty of her being. I couldnt feel her essence bathing my wounded masculinity to wholeness.But for me, porn somehow replaced the real thing. It was just, well, easier. Neurosis-free women.Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions. Small men everywhere, who would rather not deal with the truth that women have for them, can go get a fill of female energy, have a beer, then get on with their day. Men, what is happening to us?

8. MY HEART WOULD THUMP WITH A MIX OF THRILL AND SHAME

I would sneak downstairs to the family computer once the house was dark. As I would settle into the polyester-cotton seat of the swivel chair and open a browser, my heart would thump with a mix of thrill and shame, my ears perked for any reason to abort my missionzip, pull and dart with an excuse ready about checking the weather for tomorrow.It was an addicts high, a high-stakes heist for sexual pleasurean association that would not soon recede in my primal brain.I found myself rapidly desensitized to online images. If a threesome was kinky last week, then Id need something wilder this week. To reach climax, I had to find that same toxic mix of shame and lust.It was a dissociative, alienating, almost inhuman task to close my eyes while having sex with someone I really cared about and imagine having sex with someone else or recall a deviant video from the archives of my youth that I was ashamed of even then.

9. THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME

One day I was watching pornography in my car, when I realized that I was late for my test. I closed my laptop and ran off. When I came back I found my car broken into, and my laptop gone. That evening my friend and I went to a strip club to help me feel better. My friend soon got tired and wanted to go home, but I couldnt get myself to walk away. Observing the consequences of my actions and my inability to walk away forced me to suspect that may be there was something was wrong with me after all.

10. IT HAS AFFECTED MY ERECTIONS

I was 15 when I started watching porn after my parents bought me a laptop. I did what pretty much any teenage boy does and look up porn websites. It became an everyday thing very quickly. I was watching porn for two hours a day.I found a website dedicated to porn addiction and I felt like I had an epiphany. I felt like I wasn’t alone any more. I did 100 days of porn abstinence and masturbation abstinence. It’s exactly like going cold turkey. The first two weeks were pretty awful with lots of mood swings. It was rough, it was really rough. There were sleepless nights. There were nights where I’d wake up in cold sweats. I’ve been able to get back to my routines and I’ve been OK but it has affected my erections. When I’m with a woman I’ve noticed it’s softer down there and I’m not as excited.I couldn’t get erections anymore with real women when I tried because I’d watched so much porn.

11. I HAD TERRIBLE WITHDRAWALS

I was 15 when I first masturbated to online porn. The high I got was immense, and it lasted about 30 minutes. At that point in my life I’d been feeling really low, and had been for about seven years. But, for the first time, I didn’t feel depressed at alleverything lifted. It made me want to do it again, and againso I did, until I was watching online porn every day.Eventually, I became desensitized to ‘vanilla’ guy-on-girl pornit simply didn’t turn me onso I sought out more extreme porn to shock my system into being aroused again. For the same reason, sex with real women was pretty much impossible. I didn’t link it to my porn addictionbecause I didn’t know I had one. I just thought there was something inherently wrong with me, which made me feel more low.I went cold turkey on porn. I had terrible withdrawals. My hands shook and I had awful mood swings, vivid nightmares and hot and cold sweats.

12. YOU NAME A GENRE, AND I WAS PROBABLY INTO IT AT ONE POINT

You name a genre, and I was probably into it at some point. Things that would have disgusted me one month I relied on the next to get me excited. The process Ive described above is well-known to addiction psychologists and therapists and is called desensitization.Excessive abuse over extended periods of time can lead to decreased libido, erectile dysfunction and impotence. In my case, the warning signs were there. I felt terrible after a session browsing the dark side of the neta mixture of shame, disgust, dissatisfaction, depression. I realized I could bring myself literally to the brink of orgasm solely with visual stimulationwithout using my hands at all. The encounters I had with women felt somehow disappointing. Sexually I felt a bit dead, occasionally I failed to maintain an erection. Desensitization is an apt word, because years of beating my meat to porn left my penis less sensitive to touch. I blamed it on condoms, on performance anxiety, on alcohol, on being out of shape, but finally, I realized the truth: porn.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/12-former-porn-addicts-describe-the-pitfalls-of-a-serious-online-sex-habit/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/183392592447

[samanthasroberts]

12 Former Porn Addicts Describe The Pitfalls Of A Serious Online Sex Habit

2. THE FATHER WHO KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE OF AN ADDICTION TO PORN

Within a fairly short period of time, I found myself watching up to eight hours of pornography a day, every day.It wasnt unusual for me to be on a business trip and stay up until 3 or 4AM watching porn, knowing full well that I had an 8AM meeting the next morning where I was making a presentation to sell multi-million dollar software to corporate directors.I was thinking seriously about walking over to the Wal-Mart not too far from where I lived, buying a gun, sticking it in my mouth and pulling the trigger. It was when I started thinking about writing a suicide note to my boysthat, thank God, is when I woke up. I decided that it wasnt the legacy I was going to leave to my kids: the father who killed himself because of an addiction to porn.

3. THE FACT I WAS AROUSED BY SHIT AND ANIMAL PORN MEANT I HAD BRAIN DAMAGE

Since age 19, I’ve been completely unable to control my use of pornography on the Internet, my compulsive masturbation, my driving need to seduce women, and in recent years my nasty habit of spending hundreds of dollars a night in strip clubs, not so much making it rain as shamefully shoveling a wad of 20s at a stripper before scuttling away.My therapist said the fact I was aroused by shit and animal porn meant I had brain damage, simple as that. His conclusion took a couple of days to sink in. Essentially, the part of my mind responsible for rational decision-making has been overridden by a huge desire for more pleasure chemicals, and I do stupid, dangerous things to get those chemicals no matter the consequences. That’s addiction.

4. I AM A RECOVERING PORN ADDICT; I AM ALSO A 25-YEAR-OLD WOMAN

I am a recovering porn addict. I am also a 25-year-old woman.I watched and masturbated to movies in the “Girlvert” and “Meatholes” series, where the obvious goal was to humiliate and degrade the women involved. The disturbing thing was that I had been performing in porn for a few years myself by then, and I knew exactly the sort of cruelty, abuse and exploitation that went on behind the scenes. Yet I still watched and got off to these horribly violent and misogynist forms of pornography.

6. I WAS LYING TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING

It was starting to take up large chunks of my time; I was lying to people about what I was doing in my spare time. I’d stay up viewing all night and go to work on an hour’s sleep; it was affecting my productivity, my health, my relationships and friendships. There were times I didn’t turn up to people’s parties or I wouldn’t go out, because I’d been viewing all day, or I’d think, I’ll just view one more thing before I leave. It’s a bit like when someone goes into a casino and they lose track of time and then they realize they’ve been in there for a day.

7. Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions

Like millions of other well-functioning married men with issues, I turned to pornography. For several years I wanked myself stupid. Time and space was filled with horniness beyond my wildest dreams. Time that might otherwise have been used to be creative, productive, or even just plain bored got devoured by lust. In any moment where there was a desire for some escape from life I scored some porn.I hated porn. I couldnt sniff her, worship her or probe the beauty of her being. I couldnt feel her essence bathing my wounded masculinity to wholeness.But for me, porn somehow replaced the real thing. It was just, well, easier. Neurosis-free women.Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions. Small men everywhere, who would rather not deal with the truth that women have for them, can go get a fill of female energy, have a beer, then get on with their day. Men, what is happening to us?

8. MY HEART WOULD THUMP WITH A MIX OF THRILL AND SHAME

I would sneak downstairs to the family computer once the house was dark. As I would settle into the polyester-cotton seat of the swivel chair and open a browser, my heart would thump with a mix of thrill and shame, my ears perked for any reason to abort my missionzip, pull and dart with an excuse ready about checking the weather for tomorrow.It was an addicts high, a high-stakes heist for sexual pleasurean association that would not soon recede in my primal brain.I found myself rapidly desensitized to online images. If a threesome was kinky last week, then Id need something wilder this week. To reach climax, I had to find that same toxic mix of shame and lust.It was a dissociative, alienating, almost inhuman task to close my eyes while having sex with someone I really cared about and imagine having sex with someone else or recall a deviant video from the archives of my youth that I was ashamed of even then.

9. THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME

One day I was watching pornography in my car, when I realized that I was late for my test. I closed my laptop and ran off. When I came back I found my car broken into, and my laptop gone. That evening my friend and I went to a strip club to help me feel better. My friend soon got tired and wanted to go home, but I couldnt get myself to walk away. Observing the consequences of my actions and my inability to walk away forced me to suspect that may be there was something was wrong with me after all.

10. IT HAS AFFECTED MY ERECTIONS

I was 15 when I started watching porn after my parents bought me a laptop. I did what pretty much any teenage boy does and look up porn websites. It became an everyday thing very quickly. I was watching porn for two hours a day.I found a website dedicated to porn addiction and I felt like I had an epiphany. I felt like I wasn’t alone any more. I did 100 days of porn abstinence and masturbation abstinence. It’s exactly like going cold turkey. The first two weeks were pretty awful with lots of mood swings. It was rough, it was really rough. There were sleepless nights. There were nights where I’d wake up in cold sweats. I’ve been able to get back to my routines and I’ve been OK but it has affected my erections. When I’m with a woman I’ve noticed it’s softer down there and I’m not as excited.I couldn’t get erections anymore with real women when I tried because I’d watched so much porn.

11. I HAD TERRIBLE WITHDRAWALS

I was 15 when I first masturbated to online porn. The high I got was immense, and it lasted about 30 minutes. At that point in my life I’d been feeling really low, and had been for about seven years. But, for the first time, I didn’t feel depressed at alleverything lifted. It made me want to do it again, and againso I did, until I was watching online porn every day.Eventually, I became desensitized to ‘vanilla’ guy-on-girl pornit simply didn’t turn me onso I sought out more extreme porn to shock my system into being aroused again. For the same reason, sex with real women was pretty much impossible. I didn’t link it to my porn addictionbecause I didn’t know I had one. I just thought there was something inherently wrong with me, which made me feel more low.I went cold turkey on porn. I had terrible withdrawals. My hands shook and I had awful mood swings, vivid nightmares and hot and cold sweats.

12. YOU NAME A GENRE, AND I WAS PROBABLY INTO IT AT ONE POINT

You name a genre, and I was probably into it at some point. Things that would have disgusted me one month I relied on the next to get me excited. The process Ive described above is well-known to addiction psychologists and therapists and is called desensitization.Excessive abuse over extended periods of time can lead to decreased libido, erectile dysfunction and impotence. In my case, the warning signs were there. I felt terrible after a session browsing the dark side of the neta mixture of shame, disgust, dissatisfaction, depression. I realized I could bring myself literally to the brink of orgasm solely with visual stimulationwithout using my hands at all. The encounters I had with women felt somehow disappointing. Sexually I felt a bit dead, occasionally I failed to maintain an erection. Desensitization is an apt word, because years of beating my meat to porn left my penis less sensitive to touch. I blamed it on condoms, on performance anxiety, on alcohol, on being out of shape, but finally, I realized the truth: porn.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/12-former-porn-addicts-describe-the-pitfalls-of-a-serious-online-sex-habit/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/12-former-porn-addicts-describe-the-pitfalls-of-a-serious-online-sex-habit/

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12 Former Porn Addicts Describe The Pitfalls Of A Serious Online Sex Habit

2. THE FATHER WHO KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE OF AN ADDICTION TO PORN

Within a fairly short period of time, I found myself watching up to eight hours of pornography a day, every day.It wasnt unusual for me to be on a business trip and stay up until 3 or 4AM watching porn, knowing full well that I had an 8AM meeting the next morning where I was making a presentation to sell multi-million dollar software to corporate directors.I was thinking seriously about walking over to the Wal-Mart not too far from where I lived, buying a gun, sticking it in my mouth and pulling the trigger. It was when I started thinking about writing a suicide note to my boysthat, thank God, is when I woke up. I decided that it wasnt the legacy I was going to leave to my kids: the father who killed himself because of an addiction to porn.

3. THE FACT I WAS AROUSED BY SHIT AND ANIMAL PORN MEANT I HAD BRAIN DAMAGE

Since age 19, I’ve been completely unable to control my use of pornography on the Internet, my compulsive masturbation, my driving need to seduce women, and in recent years my nasty habit of spending hundreds of dollars a night in strip clubs, not so much making it rain as shamefully shoveling a wad of 20s at a stripper before scuttling away.My therapist said the fact I was aroused by shit and animal porn meant I had brain damage, simple as that. His conclusion took a couple of days to sink in. Essentially, the part of my mind responsible for rational decision-making has been overridden by a huge desire for more pleasure chemicals, and I do stupid, dangerous things to get those chemicals no matter the consequences. That’s addiction.

4. I AM A RECOVERING PORN ADDICT; I AM ALSO A 25-YEAR-OLD WOMAN

I am a recovering porn addict. I am also a 25-year-old woman.I watched and masturbated to movies in the “Girlvert” and “Meatholes” series, where the obvious goal was to humiliate and degrade the women involved. The disturbing thing was that I had been performing in porn for a few years myself by then, and I knew exactly the sort of cruelty, abuse and exploitation that went on behind the scenes. Yet I still watched and got off to these horribly violent and misogynist forms of pornography.

6. I WAS LYING TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING

It was starting to take up large chunks of my time; I was lying to people about what I was doing in my spare time. I’d stay up viewing all night and go to work on an hour’s sleep; it was affecting my productivity, my health, my relationships and friendships. There were times I didn’t turn up to people’s parties or I wouldn’t go out, because I’d been viewing all day, or I’d think, I’ll just view one more thing before I leave. It’s a bit like when someone goes into a casino and they lose track of time and then they realize they’ve been in there for a day.

7. Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions

Like millions of other well-functioning married men with issues, I turned to pornography. For several years I wanked myself stupid. Time and space was filled with horniness beyond my wildest dreams. Time that might otherwise have been used to be creative, productive, or even just plain bored got devoured by lust. In any moment where there was a desire for some escape from life I scored some porn.I hated porn. I couldnt sniff her, worship her or probe the beauty of her being. I couldnt feel her essence bathing my wounded masculinity to wholeness.But for me, porn somehow replaced the real thing. It was just, well, easier. Neurosis-free women.Shooting up on porn allowed me to savor female energies without all the emotions. Small men everywhere, who would rather not deal with the truth that women have for them, can go get a fill of female energy, have a beer, then get on with their day. Men, what is happening to us?

8. MY HEART WOULD THUMP WITH A MIX OF THRILL AND SHAME

I would sneak downstairs to the family computer once the house was dark. As I would settle into the polyester-cotton seat of the swivel chair and open a browser, my heart would thump with a mix of thrill and shame, my ears perked for any reason to abort my missionzip, pull and dart with an excuse ready about checking the weather for tomorrow.It was an addicts high, a high-stakes heist for sexual pleasurean association that would not soon recede in my primal brain.I found myself rapidly desensitized to online images. If a threesome was kinky last week, then Id need something wilder this week. To reach climax, I had to find that same toxic mix of shame and lust.It was a dissociative, alienating, almost inhuman task to close my eyes while having sex with someone I really cared about and imagine having sex with someone else or recall a deviant video from the archives of my youth that I was ashamed of even then.

9. THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME

One day I was watching pornography in my car, when I realized that I was late for my test. I closed my laptop and ran off. When I came back I found my car broken into, and my laptop gone. That evening my friend and I went to a strip club to help me feel better. My friend soon got tired and wanted to go home, but I couldnt get myself to walk away. Observing the consequences of my actions and my inability to walk away forced me to suspect that may be there was something was wrong with me after all.

10. IT HAS AFFECTED MY ERECTIONS

I was 15 when I started watching porn after my parents bought me a laptop. I did what pretty much any teenage boy does and look up porn websites. It became an everyday thing very quickly. I was watching porn for two hours a day.I found a website dedicated to porn addiction and I felt like I had an epiphany. I felt like I wasn’t alone any more. I did 100 days of porn abstinence and masturbation abstinence. It’s exactly like going cold turkey. The first two weeks were pretty awful with lots of mood swings. It was rough, it was really rough. There were sleepless nights. There were nights where I’d wake up in cold sweats. I’ve been able to get back to my routines and I’ve been OK but it has affected my erections. When I’m with a woman I’ve noticed it’s softer down there and I’m not as excited.I couldn’t get erections anymore with real women when I tried because I’d watched so much porn.

11. I HAD TERRIBLE WITHDRAWALS

I was 15 when I first masturbated to online porn. The high I got was immense, and it lasted about 30 minutes. At that point in my life I’d been feeling really low, and had been for about seven years. But, for the first time, I didn’t feel depressed at alleverything lifted. It made me want to do it again, and againso I did, until I was watching online porn every day.Eventually, I became desensitized to ‘vanilla’ guy-on-girl pornit simply didn’t turn me onso I sought out more extreme porn to shock my system into being aroused again. For the same reason, sex with real women was pretty much impossible. I didn’t link it to my porn addictionbecause I didn’t know I had one. I just thought there was something inherently wrong with me, which made me feel more low.I went cold turkey on porn. I had terrible withdrawals. My hands shook and I had awful mood swings, vivid nightmares and hot and cold sweats.

12. YOU NAME A GENRE, AND I WAS PROBABLY INTO IT AT ONE POINT

You name a genre, and I was probably into it at some point. Things that would have disgusted me one month I relied on the next to get me excited. The process Ive described above is well-known to addiction psychologists and therapists and is called desensitization.Excessive abuse over extended periods of time can lead to decreased libido, erectile dysfunction and impotence. In my case, the warning signs were there. I felt terrible after a session browsing the dark side of the neta mixture of shame, disgust, dissatisfaction, depression. I realized I could bring myself literally to the brink of orgasm solely with visual stimulationwithout using my hands at all. The encounters I had with women felt somehow disappointing. Sexually I felt a bit dead, occasionally I failed to maintain an erection. Desensitization is an apt word, because years of beating my meat to porn left my penis less sensitive to touch. I blamed it on condoms, on performance anxiety, on alcohol, on being out of shape, but finally, I realized the truth: porn.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/12-former-porn-addicts-describe-the-pitfalls-of-a-serious-online-sex-habit/