#Expo Liveblogs Shrike

[crash-hawk]

Expo Liveblogs Shrike: Chapter 6

You know that feeling when you’re reading or watching something and you know.  You know exactly what’s coming.  You called it ages ago.  And  yet there’s that part of you that’s like “maybe it won’t happen?  maybe it’ll be okay?”

Yeah.  Here we go. 

He was afraid of this strange loyalty to Dream. It had come so quickly. Too quickly, and too much.  There was no explanation for it, no rationality. Was this what devotion meant? A blind and desperate obedience? Did all friendships feel so all-consuming, to the point that it would be death to let go? Did all the poets lie about it being easy?

God I want to shake you until you rattle you’re so close.  I can see the smoke rising off of your solitary brain cell. 

“Well, see, that’s the problem, Dream. You sound nonchalant enough. But this—” George gestured to the mess of maps, to the little wooden soldiers that stood for the armies he planned to raise. “This isn’t what a nonchalant person does. You’re like a child throwing a tantrum to get his father’s attention. But what will you do the moment he turns around, Dream? You don’t seem ready for that.” 

THAT’S what I’m talking about.  Get his ass.

“He said he’d throw the whole board away if he couldn’t win,” George said. “He’d do it even if we were still on it.”

Sapnap blinked, and it looked like he was waking up from a long, long dream.

“Do you think we’re just pawns to him?” Sapnap asked quietly.

George faced him fully. “When it came down to it, if he tossed me to the wolves, Sapnap, would you still take his side?”

Sapnap looked stricken. “He wouldn’t do that.” But he sounded unsure. “If he did, I’d—” He took a deep breath, and the next words out of his mouth were grounded in something deeper than his loyalty to Dream. “I’d kill him.”

“This war of his, Sapnap,” George said. “It’ll be the end of us. I don’t know why I know that, but I believe it. I believe it down to my bones. And I’m not ready to lose you just yet.”

I am suffering.

“What did you tell him this time, George?” Dream asked, and the room around them blurred around the edges. It was hard to focus on anything that wasn’t the angry fire in Dream’s eyes, or his grip on George’s wrist, pressing deep once again, burning him. “Because whatever it was, George, it was enough to chase him out of here.” 

Fuck OFF you gaslighting son of a bitch GOD. 

He was sitting near the fire, his sword lying beside him, never far from his side. A white cloak was thrown over his shoulders, the same one all the other soldiers were wearing. It should have made him indistinguishable from the rest, but there was no hiding what he was. He was a warrior among men. They could not hope to win without him. And despite everything, George couldn’t help but relish in their shared divinity. They were gods. They would always be gods. This, and everything, was beneath them. No matter what grew between them now—time, anger, betrayal—they would always have their immortality.

At the end of time, it would still be the three of them together.

“Sap—” George began.

“—nap!” a different voice finished.

George blinked, and in an instant, Sapnap wasn’t alone.

There were three people by the fire now. Someone had their arm around Sapnap’s shoulders, jostling him in that way that George knew he didn’t like. But Sapnap was laughing.

oh no

“Oh,” Dream breathed. “He’s replaced us, George.”

No no no please Apollo I’m sorry I forgot to say DNI please. 

Sapnap looked anguished. “I didn’t have time. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t be there anymore. You have to understand, George. Talking to Dream, when I told him I wanted him to leave you alone, when I started arguing with him, it felt like—” He made a frustrated noise, hands working to fill the gaps between his words. “It felt like I was being suffocated. Or, like I had been suffocating for years and just noticed. I needed air. And I couldn’t get enough of it until I was as far away from that house as possible.”

“But why didn’t you take me with you?” George growled. “Did you never stop and think that maybe I was suffocating, too? Why did you leave me behind?”

“Well, why didn’t you follow?” Sapnap shot back.

In their silence, they knew they had the same answer to each other’s questions.

And it was walking up to them in the rain, a small smile on his face.

BUT YOU CAN RUN NOW.  JUST GRAB KARL AND Q AND STUFF THEM IN YOUR SADDLEBAGS LIKE A COUPLE OF OLIVE GARDEN BREADSTICKS AND RUN AWAY TO FANTASY BERMUDA.  YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU COME ON. 

God this whole conversation hurts.  They both knew what was happening and they loved each other but they couldn’t save each other and only Sapnap was able to free himself and now he’s been caught and they both know it.  Fuck.

Dream scoffed. “Put your claws away, little bloodhound. I wouldn’t do anything to them.”

The unsaid word hovered in the air between them: yet.

“At the very least,” Dream said, “could you give us an estimate?”

Sapnap blinked. “For fucking what?”

“For when you finally get bored of playing mortal.” Dream cocked his head to the side, staring Sapnap down with bright green eyes.

George should have known then. The only animals in the forest with colors that bright were the ones that poisoned you.

God fucking dammit.

“No, Sapnap,” Dream said evenly. “Insanity would be thinking this won’t all fall apart around you. What do you think you’re doing here? Do you really think you can love anything without destroying it? Do you think it isn’t our nature to break? And mortals are very breakable, Sapnap.” 

Dream deadass walked up to Sapnap’s face and said “Cute bfs you’ve got there, shame if anything were to happen to them” like a two-bit mafia thug fuck YOU.

“George,” Sapnap said. Just “George.” In that single syllable, George heard everything else: Please and I’m sorry and Come with me.

And George almost did.

Except he remembered Sapnap’s smile around the campfire, and another memory, rising unbidden, of George hanging over a pit, hanging on for dear life. But the memory was different this time. This time, Sapnap stood over him. And Sapnap let him fall.

In the end, Dream was right. It was a matter of pride.

NO IT’S NOT.  IT’S LITERALLY HIM, THE PS5 INSIDE YOUR HEAD.  GEORGE PLEASE. 

He looked up to find Dream standing over him, his green eyes fixed on where Sapnap had disappeared to.

“Our symphony is still unfinished, George,” he said.

George shook again. And this time, he knew for sure he was trembling.

“We still have our war to plan. We still have our angel to kill. And we can’t do it without Sapnap.” A smile flickered on his face, and that was how George knew he had already had a plan. “If he wants to fight his mortals’ war so badly, then I’ll let him. I think it’ll do our war god good to finally learn what it feels like to lose.”

George sucked in a shaky breath. “What are you going to do?”

“George,” Dream sighed, and when he finally looked down to meet George’s eyes, George felt like someone had dragged a sharp knife down his spine. “Who said I was going to do anything?”

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

In a kingdom, there was a castle. In the castle, there was a bedroom. Its occupant did not sleep, but he still dreamed. Often, the dreams were not his own. Often, the dreams were not dreams at all. They were orders from a voice he could not disobey and would not remember in the morning.

The forgetting did not absolve him of the crime, but it did absolve him of the shame. In the morning, he could wake up, back in a bed he did not remember sleeping in, and he could go out of his room, down the hallway, down the stairs, down to the garden, and he could meet the prince’s eyes without flinching. And he could smile, ignorant, so blissfully ignorant. But that was tomorrow.

Tonight, Technoblade dreamed. And he dreamed of blood.

happy fucking pride month, y’all

(tagging @go-learn-esperanto​ for the latest installment in our tag-team-liveblogging adventure, come suffer with me)

[crash-hawk]

Expo Liveblogs Shrike Ch. 4 - Highlights

Have YOU ever wanted the experience of screaming helplessly at the screen as two dumbasses with a single shared brain cell who you never wanted to like but have become hopelessly emotionally invested in despite your best efforts stumble through the opening paces of an NBC Hannibal story arc?  Look no further.

“George thought maybe some of that fury would do him good, but when he searched his chest, there was a haze thrown over everything, muffling even his own heartbeat.”

Literally TWO SENTENCES IN and George is already showing signs of The Whammy.  I’m going to eat drywall.

“What—” George said, unsure if the building wasn’t some illusion. But when he blinked again, the house was still there. It wasn’t too impressive—most of it had been swallowed by ivy, weeds, and other consequences of time. Its door had rotted away, revealing a dark interior overrun with cobwebs. Rubble remained of what used to be the chimney.

Optimists would call it cozy, enough for a family. But Sapnap, coming in behind George, scoffed and said, “That looks pathetic.”

Ignoring him, George turned to Dream, who looked so damn proud of himself, and asked, “How did you know this was here?”

Dream shrugged. “It belonged to an old friend. I’m sure he won’t mind us using it.”

Oh you motherfucker.  Oh you MOTHER FUCKER.  IS THAT FUCKING TECHNO’S OLD HOUSE?   IT ABSOLUTELY IS.  I’M GOING TO FUCKISKBJFKGH--

“It’s always been you leading the way. On the few times I try to take the reins, you’re always fighting for it back, like you’re afraid I’m going to send us hurtling off a cliff.”

“Well, to be fair—”

George threw his hands up. “One time! We fell off a cliff one time! And that wasn’t even my fault entirely, but you still act like it was. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always choose the best road, but it would be nice if, for once, my best friend still followed me down it anyway without whining every five seconds.”

cries you are both so stupid

“Okay,” George said, still standing at the threshold, his hand curled around the tear in the wood where the door looked to have been half-ripped off its hinges. It was a strange, violent scar on a place that George would otherwise have thought died a natural death. 

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Something dark flashed behind Dream’s eyes, something that made George step forward and warn, “Sapnap—”, something that made Sapnap begin reaching for his own sword. But it was over quickly, gone in the next second, replaced by an easy smile, and George was left reeling in the wake of the first emotion of Dream’s that he believed to be true. George had no name for it, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to see it again.

It could have been the bite of splinters against his palm, or the way Dream and Sapnap looked at each other, but George had the strangest feeling that something bad had happened here, and something bad would happen again.

The Narration: Dream is going to do something awful to Sapnap in the future. George’s internal monologue: I have a terrible feeling Dream is going to do something awful to Sapnap in the future Me, who read between the lines during Dream’s ten-page Supervillain Rant in Chapter 6 of Passerine and knows exactly what awful thing Dream is going to do to Sapnap in the future, putting on my clown makeup: Maybe He Won’t This Time

Homeless?  Hopeless at building?  No problem!  Who needs a Youtube build tutorial when you can just employ The Whammy and make your brand new meat puppets friends do it for you!

They stood in the quiet clearing for half a thousand heartbeats, George and Sapnap and Dream between them, three gods in the forest with splinters in their palms from building a house. Just somewhere to put their things in, and somewhere to return to. Not a home, but something close to it.

“Let’s name it,” George said.

Sapnap looked around Dream to meet George’s gaze, grinning at a joke only both of them understood. That was one thing Dream couldn’t take away from them.

“The Shit Shack,” Sapnap suggested. “Crap Cottage. Lopsided Lodge.”

They looked, without knowing why they looked, to Dream.

“You know what?” Dream said, his face flushed under the sun, his hair curling around his face like flower petals . “Let’s call it the Community House.”

“That’s stupid,” Sapnap said. “I like it.”

And George thought he maybe loved it, too.

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[crash-hawk]

Expo Liveblogs Shrike: Ch. 5

AAAAAAND we’re back.  Will Expo Expositionfairy and the Kaleidoscope Crew narrowly avoid being Jossed into oblivion once again while their leader spirals ever deeper into madness and despair from writer’s block?  Will p!George and Sapnap ever catch on to the fact that the calls are coming from inside the house?  Guess we’re about to find out on this month’s installment of Expo Liveblogs Shrike!

“minor character death” off to a GREAT start already god bless

“What’s so interesting, George?” Dream asked, the quirk in the corner of his mouth betraying no real curiosity, just amusement.

“I look tired,” he replied, without thinking. “I shouldn’t look tired. There’s nothing to be tired of.”

Yes, that tends to happen when one is being leeched by a fucking vampire :|

It was good. These were kinder times than George had ever found himself in.

So why did he still look so tired?

“I look like I’ve been fighting for my life,” George said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dream said breezily, dismissively. “You look like George to me.”

“You don’t understand.” George could hear how he sounded: petulant, defensive. He hated it. “What am I fighting against, Dream? What’s making me look like this?”

What did I say.  What did I JUST SAY.

All this talk of mirrors is giving me fae vibes.  This is doing absolutely nothing for my nerves.

“Personally,” Sapnap said, “I never saw the appeal of heartbreak. You know what those mortal bards say about it? ‘It’s worth it.’” He rolled his eyes. “What a load of bullshit.”

Kyle I swear to FUCKING god

THE SWORD.  SAPNAP STOP BEING ADORABLE.  Also that sword is 100% a Cursed Item and I am going to drink paint thinner.

Dream’s grin stretched wider as he shrugged. “What can I say?” he said. “I’m a master of persuasion.”

fuck you fuck you fuck yOU FUCK YOU

“We are friends,” George said. “But it’s just, sometimes, I forget why.” Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Dream recoil. He almost felt bad for it. “Sometimes, I look at you, and I see a stranger.” He placed his hand against the dirt beside him, watched as small white flowers grew between his fingertips, climbing over his knuckles like shackles keeping him rooted to the earth. “I know Sapnap. Sapnap knows me. But who are you, Dream?”

YES!!!  MY BOY!!!  USE THAT SOLITARY BRAIN CELL!!! 

......oh this absolute motherfucker.  That attack was 5000% his doing.  It distracts George from questioning him, earns a bit more loyalty from Sapnap, and insinuates himself in between them some more.  Divide and conquer.  Slick.  God I hate him.

“I suppose,” George said quietly, looking anywhere but at Dream, or at Sapnap’s distant form, “I should thank you.”

Dream hummed. “For what?”

“For saving Sapnap,” George said. “Thank you.”

There was a beat of silence. And then Dream chuckled. “So,” he said, and George could hear the smile in his voice, “that’s what it takes to get you to love me.”

“Love?” George scoffed. “Sure. Call it what you want to. Whatever makes you happy.”

“Now, I wonder what it’ll take to make you hate me.”

At that, George finally looked at him.

“I wonder, too,” he said.

I suspect that purposefully shoving your best friend’s lovers in front of a speeding eighteen-wheeler with Subscribe 2 Technoblade plastered on the side might just do the trick.

[Philza Joined the Game]

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING.

“George,” Dream said, “Sapnap. The Angel of Death. The Angel of Death is coming for me now. But we’ll come for him first. You and me.” He smiled, and it was a twisted smile, unrecognizable from the god George had come to know. But that wasn’t right, George realized. He didn’t know Dream after all. Dream was unknowable. “It’s us. Always us. Until your bitter fucking ends.” 

“your bitter fucking ends”.  Not “our”, “your.”

Inhales. 

BITCH.

[crash-hawk]

“All of the other gods are so MEAN, unlike me, George, sparkly forest elf.”

Pass!George I love you so fucking much already.

[crash-hawk]

Expo Liveblogs Shrike Ch. 3 - Highlights

- Shrike??  Shrike back from the war??  Real not fake?  Ma’am it’s been eighty three years

- Remembers where the last chapter left off.  Fuck.

- “The dream-god’s eyes found George’s, green as the spring this frozen wasteland had not tasted in centuries. “Come now,” he said, almost exasperated, like he was getting bored waiting for them to get to the point he’d already concluded for himself. “There’s no need for hostility, right?” YES THERE FUCKING IS

- commence 2 or 3k words worth of Expo yelling at the screen like I’m watching a fucking horror movie Sapnap please for the love of fuck just shank him

- yeah sure spend the night in the creepy abandoned cathedral with the fucking Addams Family windows in the middle of the creepy Twilight Zone town during a blizzard it’s fine I genuinely cannot with these two morons (affectionate)

- “You’ll go your way, and I’ll go mine, and maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll see each other once or twice before some random fuck gets a lucky hit on us and the curtains fall. Maybe even by then, you’ll already have a name for mourning.” S T O P

- “ “We could build a house here, you know,” George said quietly, watching Sapnap’s face carefully. “Just somewhere to put our things in. Somewhere to return to. We could call it a shed, if that makes it less sentimental for you.”  Like either of you knows how to build a house without a YouTube tutorial

- Can’t convince people to be your friend?  Apply mind-whammy!  Works every time.

- bitch ass stalker ass motherfucker shut UP leave them ALONE

- “Dream began to smile.” AGAIN, KYLE??  REALLY??

- welp at least I haven’t been Jossed to hell and back yet

- Dream (derogatory)

[crash-hawk]

Pass!Sapnap: hang out with me I'm boooooooooooooooored

Pass!George: whatever I am going back to bed