#Everytime i commission someone is like: this is all I have i'm sorry (and some b/w refs ofc)

[your-zipper-is-down]

For those of you that aren't on Twitter, the official Undead Unluck account posted a sneak peak of the popularity poll results so far

TELLA IS IN THE TOP 10 LET'S FUCKING GO!!!!

Please, keep voting for your faves 💖

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

could you explain your writing process a bit? i adore your fics, like everytime ive tried writing smut (or mostly any fic, oc writing seems to be more my forte) ive struggled a lot with staying motivated or staying focused. your fics are so interesting and complex character-wise despite centering around sex or sexual acts. id love to just hear you explain your full process, any struggles youve had with writing in the past, any advice, or anything else really. thank you and have a good one!

oh wow yeah okay sure, i can do that! pretentious soliloquizing ahead. i will talk about sexual preferences. mine, specifically. sorry. and thanks :]

writing smut is two things to me, and which of those things takes priority just kinda depends on the day or my mood. first, it's stuff that i personally find hot and enjoy thinking about/jerking off to, plain and simple. secondly, i see smut as a vehicle for character development or interaction, as a vector through which i can express facets of a character that can't really be demonstrated in other scenarios/are best expressed through sex. i'm a literary analyst first and a writer second, so i approach it from a character-driven lens rather than something scenario-driven.

light yagami, for example, is a control freak who likes dominating others but is repulsed by people who cave too fast (misa, mikami). what gets his blood pumping are people who challenge his dominance and he gets really flustered when control is taken from him (see: the Lind L Taylor breakdown). from this, i extrapolate that he would get a kick out of being forced to submit sexually, and would find it both humiliating and arousing; these are all things that spring from his character but also things i personally find hot.

from there, i'd think about what kinks or scenarios could force this kind of submission out of him and make for an interesting dialogue. again, as an example, a noncon scenario where L practically jumps him might be something i'd consider. a plot to justify this scenario spirals from there.

writing smut is really fucking hard, by the way, so don't beat yourself up about it. the fic i publish these days is hugely informed by a ridiculous amount of practice and purposefully pushing myself out of my comfort zone. i find that writing and posting some smut, then looking back on it and analyzing it with a fresh eye sometime later, can help me sus out where i want to improve and what i'm currently doing fine with. writing for me is both a fun hobby and also an exercise to become a better writer, though that is not the kind of grind everyone wants, and that's totally fine.

as far as advice goes for smut writing: write what makes your dick hard. i am so serious here. being extremely horny about [insert scenario] is the secret to getting your ass in the chair and writing. i too will get extremely distracted midway through a porn scene so i will just pause writing it, go do something else/write something else, and then come back to finish the fucking. it's really about following what makes your brain light up in sparklers and explosions.

like. you know what i love? blowjobs!!! i love !! blowjobs!! i inflict this on light yagami and the blowjob smut just pours out of me. it's magic.

it is very, very hard to write porn about kinks/scenarios i'm not personally excited about. this is because writing porn is ridiculously hard. i'm walking a wire's edge of "keep this in character or at the very least, somehow justify this out of character action within the narrative" and "make sure the scene is sexy" and "make sure the mechanics of everything make sense and that they haven't switched sex positions impossibly while i wasn't looking." it's a lot to juggle! i struggle to write the scenes all in one go.

a couple of times i've had to write a commission for kinks/scenarios i'm not personally interested in and whew, those were tricky. i have to do more mental gymnastics to get myself in the headspace of someone who would enjoy those kinks. for example, i'm not hugely into toys. i was paid to write a fic that centered around a vibrator once. i had to sit there, delude myself into a headspace where i thought vibrators were hot, and then write as fast as i could before the headspace vanished. this is where the analysis brain helps because instead of me personally being horny about a scenario, i'm looking at it through the lens of someone who would be.

i also do a lot of field research. this means anything from sucking and fucking (god bless my partner, who is about as adventurous as i am and usually down to field test scenarios for me) or going to kink fairs to watch demos of things i am personally not about to try (recently saw some fantastic shibari suspension scenes that i will be stealing, thanks). more than anything, talking to people helps. the "yes, and..." of spitballing with other folks about a horny scenario really helps the writing juices start flowing. i cannot emphasize how much easier it makes writing porn to have someone you can hit up like okay, i have this idea, what else can i do to make it sexy?

so i'd say, anon, my best advice for you is to figure out what really gets you going and then just. roll with that. stare at a character and try to think about if they'd like the kinks you like. extrapolate from there, and talk to as many fellow freaks as you can find. sit down and just write something that you find personally very exciting. and just keep doing it. my first pornfic was from 2021 and quite frankly it is bad. i've started (but not finished) a hundred other porny scenarios that i just didn't have the energy to complete. but for every thirty half-baked thoughts about penis i have at least one that i can get so manic over i end up finishing it.

let me know if you have any other questions, and i hoped this helped T-T explicit scenes are genuinely the most difficult thing i write these days, but they're also....lowkey some of the most fun...so i hope you got some use out of this :]

[artharakka]

everytime your art pops up on my dash i am just so amazed. the colors, your art style all just *cheffs kiss*.

a while back you got an ask about what program you use, and i was wondering if you could share some more details about brushes + settings + canvas size etc. i rlly want to try digital art myself but im at a loss where to start.

sorry for the rambeling and the multiple questions. cant wait to see what you will make next <3

Thank you!! (and thank you to the other anon who also asked about my settings, I'm answering the technical stuff here but I got your message as well!)

I feel like I’m getting hang of colours again in a way that I like after I got a new computer screen, so thank you for that especially 🧡

I ended up rambling (because I also remember when I started and was at loss where to start), so answers are under “read more”!

If someone hadn't seen the referred ask, the program I use is Krita so brushes etc are for that. I think I originally ended up with Krita because it was (and is) free and I liked its brushes best.

I just went with the default settings hah so the canvas size & resolution I usually start with is 300ppi and A4 (so 2480x3508 px). Sometimes for the square works I go with 3000x3000 or 4000x4000 canvas (or just cut the A4 into square. It's a mess). For commissions I usually work with sliiightly larger canvas sizes but depends on the work. I still don’t know if there’s a right answer to this? If you plan to print it, don’t use too low resolution and if the canvas is really small the picture might pixelate. Internet might have more accurate answers to this but so far these have worked for me?

I gathered my most used brushes in one neat picture (that is hopefully clear enough.. say if it’s hard to see/understand!) Also a couple of older brushes that I don’t use that much anymore but occasionally come handy!

And idk if it’s helpful but here’s my Krita setup:

I like to use Big_Paint_2 workspace (changed from upper right corner) and dark theme (Settings -> Themes -> Krita dark). Besides that I think I mostly went with Krita’s default settings. The brushes listed above I’ve made my favourites that I can easily access through quick selection wheel that (at least for me) opens with right click (or corresponding button on my pen)

[shyrose57]

Timeloops as a form of character derailment (kinda)? SIGN ME UP.

Okay but god that would cause so much angst, like, they team up, they comfort each other where no one can see, out of necessity because literally no one else knows what they're going through. (Okay I rambled quite a lot here I'm so sorry)

But like, imagine everytime they do something different, refuse to engage with what the script is forcing them to do and suddenly everyone is forced back to the beginning.

Like, Wilbur would probably break the most in the beginning (would this start at the Pogtopia arc, or before that? How far back do they have to go back every time they reatart? God that would be a sort of angst all on its own, half the time messing up purposely cause back here was so simple), since Dream is antagonistic but not a full fledged villain, and Quackity really hadn't entered his villain arc yet. And Wilbur, the poet, refuses to believe that this is the only story, he wrote himself a country, he created the symphony, he gets to choose how it ends. He refuses to do anything to his brother and friends, refuses to hurt Tommy. Of course, that doesn't work and he gets sent back to the beginning, in the end, he does lose himself, just not for the reasons that his family, his friends think (when Wilbur begs for death from philza, it is not a part of the play, the act, he just wants and end to this loop, maybe death will be an out, and imagine his surprise when it works. Imagine his surprise when its so much worse. Now he gets revived each time someone messes up, and it becomes a twisted relief from a different kind of loop)

Dream after this point would probably start ending the loops just before and during the exile arc, when he realises, oh, I'm the big bad of the story. The ultimate villain. First his friends abandon him, and why wouldn't they? He's horrible to them, he doesn't doesn't want to be, but what choice does he have? When he's forced to say he doesn't care for them, can't refute the claims that he doesn't care for them, doesn't love them. Then exile happens. And it's so much worse, cause he likes Tommy, he's one of his friends, and sometimes dream even thinks of him like a brother. And sometimes that shines through, he can be friends, then he's reminded oh no, apparently he has to a massive piece of shit now (all of the background stuff that happens, him commissioning the prison, the hall of attachments just makes this so much worse, whatever the hell is going on with Ranboo). He probably starts to really get distant, cause it's easier to go through the motions again and again and again if you actually dont care about the people around you (he cares so much, but hey, maybe there's some truth to attachments only being there to hurt you. Cut yourself off and you'll be free)

When the disc confrontation happens the first time,he thinks he's messed up something again cause everyone's here to stop him. Then he gets sent to prison and the next day happens. And it's still a torture, being isolated and treated like that, but at least he's alone, only has to act when people (rarely) visit. And then Tommy visits again, and then Quackity visits.

As for Quackity, I feel like he would have the easiest time, at first, after all he wasnt a villain at first, that change happens gradually. He only loops because he doesn't know the script, not because he refuses to do any actions, and sure some are harder than others, Tubbo's execution for one, but he's allowed to be against that, so it's justifiable. Techno's execution is justifiable (Dream can just tell him the behind the scenes information, it's fine, sure he dies, but what's one trauma in this time loop? He's got plenty to spare). And he's always been charasimatic, manipulative under certain lights, so thats easy. In fact, he goes so long that he doesn't even fully realise the villain arc he's undertaken until he realises that oh god, he has to go through with torturing Dream, someone he knows isn't a bad person, is forced into this the same way as he is, and each time Dream gives in, tells him what he want to know (no he doesn't, he never want to know, not like this), he gets sent back, doomed to repeat their actions. Every. Single. Day.

Imagine all threes surprise when they notice other veering off script, too. Not stuck in a loop, but noticing hey, haven't we done this before?. And for the first time in a long, long, long time, the three start to feel a glimmer of hope.

Anon, I love, literally, all. of. this. You read my mind! But like, better!!!

They end up reset to the very start of the Smp. A bit before the idea of L'manberg started to form. So yes, while originally, they're quite determined to find a way through the loop, as time goes on, they start purposely messing up for a breather-though only when they feel they truly can't take it, because it still means they have to go through everything again.

The three all get so close as a result of this whole thing, which makes everything so much worse when it comes to hurting each other-especially for Quackity. Sometimes he just-can't, stopping and sitting with Dream until Sam finds them and resets the loop.

Wilbur can do anything he wants in limbo....but he can't get out. Nothing he does will break the loop once inside. The first time it resets after his first few years in there, he can't stop shaking. The cold seems to have followed him right back to the start.

And Dream? As you said, exile is just about the worse for him. Because he's supposed to manipulate Tommy, make him think their friends as he hurts him. And maybe the worse part about that is that he's allowed to be nice to Tommy-genuinely nice...but only to an extent. Only because in the end, it will just be seen as part of his manipulations.

They're just all straight up suffering.

And then-

And then, everyone shifts a little bit to the left, and for the first time in a long time, they dare to hope.

But if they want to see if this is really what they think it is, well-they'll have to devote themselves more to their roles than ever.

[kpop---scenarios]

Over Time

Commissioned by: @my-loves-18

Pairing: Shownu x Reader

Warning: Mentions of Violence, Angst, Smut

Word Count: 3.8k

"You're just jealous." Your best friend, Steph chuckles, nodding her head towards Shownu with his arm wrapped around a girl. 

"Jealous of what exactly?" You scoff while rolling your eyes. 

"Hey, Y/N." Shownu yelled from across the lawn. Despite you hating him and your assumed dislike he had for you, he still tried to get under your skin. Well not tried, succeeded. He enraged you, not made you jealous. 

Pfft. 

You may be a lot of things, but jealous was not one of them. 

"You have to make a comment everytime you see him with a girl, or just see him in general, Y/N, and with me dating Wonho we're around him alot." She says. 

You know she's right, but it's not like you dislike him for no reason. You had two, and to you they were very valid. 

The first one, you hated the way he treated women. Every party you went to, his arm was wrapped around a new girl every time, when you'd see him out, he was with a new one. You'd heard plenty of girls crying in the bathroom after just seeing them together, and it wasn't hard for you to put two and two together. He was a typical frat guy, who did the typical frat guy thing of sleeping with a ton of girls and throwing them out after he was done with them. You didn't care if he slept with thousands, just treat them better. 

The second thing that made you really despise him, was the fact that he dropped a beer on you at your first frat party of your Sophmore year and laughed while high-fiving his friends, leaving you completely embarrassed. 

"Whatever, I'm not jealous. I have class." You say, giving her a small wave before walking away.

It was the first day of your junior year and you wanted this one to be the best one yet, since you knew next year was going to be your last. 

You walk into your math class, scoping out the people you would be with for the next few months, when one person in particular caught your eye. 

Kim Namjoon. 

You had seen him around campus last year, and the immediate attraction you had felt for this man was powerful. He crossed your mind off and on all throughout the summer and you made a vow that you would talk to him if he was ever in one of your classes. 

Taking a deep breath, you walk over to where he was sitting and clear your throat. 

"This seat taken?" You ask Namjoon, sliding in beside him before he can even answer. 

"No." He coughs, clearing his throat, and goes ahead. "Hi, I'm Namjoon." He says, holding his hand out for you to shake. 

Oh you know. 

"Y/N." You smile, excited to see what this year brings. 

** 

Over the next few days, you and Namjoon are unable to stop talking to each other. Your heart skips a beat everytime you see him, the butterflies in your stomach act up whenever you even think about him. 

Was this love? Is this what it felt like? Because if it was, you were here for it. 

However, everytime you interacted with Namjoon in any way, you felt like someone was staring at you, as if someone was burning holes in your back. Finally after a week, you got tired of it, turning around to see who had an issue. 

Shownu sat there with his arms crossed, eyes staring right at you and Namjoon. You could see Namjoons face become frightened as he quickly looked away from Shownu, looking almost guilty. 

"God that guy." You mumble, feeling annoyed. 

"You know him?" Namjoon asks, avoiding eye contact.

"Kinda. Same friend group. My best friend is dating his best friend." You say. 

"So you're not close with him?" Namjoon asks, looking relieved. You shake your head no, which makes Namjoon smile but for some reason, this smile felt different. It was cold and creepy, but you shrugged it off, not thinking too much into it. 

Later that evening, you sat inside the frat house, gushing about your week with Namjoon to Sarah when Wonho and Shownu walked in the room. 

"Kim Namjoon?" Wonho asked, sitting beside Sarah, wrapping his arm around her.

"The one and only." You chuckle. 

"Careful with him. We've heard things." Shownu says, plopping down on the couch opposite of you. 

"Pfft. What things?" You scoff, not believing him. 

"His last girlfriend went missing, Y/N." Shownu says. "Just be careful." He finishes, standing up and walking towards the front door. 

Your stomach dropped.

Was it true? 

On Friday you woke up grumpy as all hell. Shuffling your feet down the hall, you enter the kitchen where Sarah stands, drinking a cup of coffee while you yawn largely. 

"Late night?" She asks, pouring you a cup of coffee. 

"Yeah, I don't know. What Shownu said to me was playing through my head, but I don't know if I believe him." You tell her. 

"Just be careful. I don't have a good feeling." She tells you, with a sympathetic smile. 

**

That weekend you spent your days not doing homework, no, you spent your time googling everything you could find related to Namjoon and his previous girlfriend and what you came up with was astonishing. 

Nothing. You found nothing that linked Namjoon to any type of disappearance. You read about a young girl going missing, but Namjoons name was nowhere to be found. That was when you decided to not take anything Shownu had to say seriously. Clearly he enjoyed just fucking with you and making you panic. 

** 

Saturday night you went back to the frat house for a party, hoping to see Namjoon there, along with hoping that maybe, just maybe Shownu would sit this one out but to your luck, he didn't. 

The moment you walked in, you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking around you see Namjoon staring at you. You smile at him, walking towards him but something stops you, another pair of eyes, burning into your skin. Looking up you see Shownu staring at you, his eyes going in between you and Namjoon. He shakes his head no to you, telling you not to go over there. You roll your eyes, walking to Namjoon anyways. You didn't understand what Shownu's deal with you was. He only likes to crack jokes at your expense and taunt you, why was he acting like this now that you were interested in someone? 

Sarah had told you it was because he was into you, but you couldn't believe that. There were no signs, he was always mean to you. Plus you did not like him at all. She was delusional, right? 

"Y/N. Can I talk to you?" You hear from behind you. Shownu standing there, looking worried. 

"No Shownu. Butt out." You sigh, walking away. 

You ignored the nagging feeling in your stomach as you walked towards Namjoons extended hand, ready to see where the night took you. 

** 

Monday morning you walked into your classroom, a smile on your face that you could not shake. Your night with Namjoon had gone perfectly. The two of you had gone for a walk before going to get some ice cream and then sat at a 24 hour Cafe and just talked. You talked about everything, family,  friends, school, life. It was perfect and you were falling hard. 

"Are you okay?" You hear, making you come out of your happy bubble. 

"I'm fine why?" You ask, looking at Shownu with a blank stare. 

"Just checking. Sorry." He mumbles, walking back to his seat as Namjoon glares at him, sitting beside you. 

** 

Over the next few weeks, your high of going out with Namjoon began to quickly dwindle into becoming scared of him. If you didn't call him back within two minutes he got very angry. 

"Hey , sorry I was talking to Sarah." You laugh, the phone against your ear. 

"Yeah sure. Probably fucking someone else like a whore." Namjoon spit. 

"What? No, I was literally talking to Sarah." You whisper. 

"Yeah, you better have been." He snaps before hanging up. 

 If you ignored him, he showed up at your apartment. 

Sunday night you heard a frantic knock at your door. 

Knock 

Knock 

Knock

"Open up Y/N! I know your home!" He yelled through the door. You quickly unlocked the front door, Namjoon pushing his way inside. "Why are you ignoring me!" He yells. "Who's here!? Where is he? I heard shuffling. You're probably hiding him in the bathroom, aren't you?" He yells, storming to the bathroom. 

"Im studying!" You say, pointing to your books scattered across the floor. "This is too much." You sigh. He apologizes after looking in the bathroom, the crazy in his eyes still lingering. 

The two of you weren't even dating yet and he was very controlling and possessive and you didn't want it. 

On Monday you sat at the opposite end of the classroom, away from Namjoon. You could feel his eyes burning into your skin. You turned around and saw Shownu staring at him, making sure he knew he was watching. 

"Why didn't you sit with me?" Namjoon asked, grabbing your hand as you exited the room, pulling you to a corner. 

"Look, I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done. Leave me alone." You say, walking away and feeling relieved. 

With your head down, you continue walking down the hall, accidentally bumping into someone on your way. "I'm so sorry." You say, looking up to see Shownu standing there. 

"No worries5." He smiles at you, making you smile. 

"Look.. I'm sorry I've been butting in with you and Namjoon. The dudes just not right." Shownu expresses. 

"I know. And I'm sorry for not believing you.. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. He's scaring me." You tell him. 

You're not sure why you were telling this to Shownu. Maybe it was the fact that he had been so nice to you, so concerned about you. You weren't sure. 

"I'm glad you're okay." He says. 

"I still don't like you." You mumble, beginning to walk away. 

"Woah, woah, what did I ever do to you?" He asks. 

"Seriously? The beer poured all over me?" You scoff. He laughs. 

"That was an accident." He says. "It wasn't meant for you specifically, you just happened to be under there." He clarifies. 

"Well I don't like the way you treat your conquests." You say, crossing your arms. 

"My conquests?" He asks with a laugh. 

"The girls you sleep with and the dump." You explain.  

"Which girls are those? Because I haven't gotten laid in like 6 months." He laughs. 

"Then why are you always with a different girl? Why are some of them crying after being alone with you?" You ask, crossing your arms. 

"I do have friends that are girls. And when they're crying, it's usually because they're having issues with their own boyfriends." He chuckles. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't just fuck anything with two legs and a vagina." He tells you. "I only sleep with someone if I like them." He finishes, giving you a small wink before walking away. 

Had you really been wrong about him this entire time? Hating hkm for something he wasn't even doing instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt. Honestly you felt a little shitty for the way that you had treated him all the time and assumed how he was acting. 

Walking to your apartment, you don't feel the gaze of Namjoom on you, as he follows you, making sure you're heading there alone. 

As you walk down the street, you can faintly hear the sound of footsteps behind you. You try to peek over your shoulder to see who's there, but you can't see anyone, only your shadow from the dimly lit street lights. Your stomach is in knots as you pick up your pace, just wanting to get home and feel safe. 

You round the corner of your apartment, bolting up the stairs as fast as you can, noticing a figure behind you catching up. Your hands shake as you find the key and slide it into the lock, hoping you can make it before he reaches you. 

You knew it was Namjoon. You knew he was pissed you wanted to end things, and he knew you were scared of him and he decided to use this to his advantage, knowing when you get scared, you get clumsy. 

"Hi baby." He whispers in your ear, covering your mouth with his hand and pushing open the door to your apartment. 

You were so close. 

That evening Sarah had messaged you reminding you she would be out of town for the week with Wonho, visiting family. 

"I remembered. But judging by the look on your face you forgot and hoped she would be home tonight. Sorry baby." Namjoon whispers, stroking your cheek. "So beautiful." 

**

Wednesday. 

[7:29pm] Hey Shownu, it's Sarah. Can you check on Y/N? It's been a few days and she hasn't responded to me. I'm worried. 

[7:31pm] I'm on my way. 

** 

Shownu arrives at your apartment, his hand up ready to bang on the door, when he hears a voice. Pressing his ear to the door, quietly, he immediately recognizes the faint voice of Namjoon. You try to reply but he can only hear mumbles. You couldbt be tied up.. could you? 

Shownu juggles back and forth for a minute, deciding what to do, and ultimately he decides to go for the safest bet. He walks away from your door, pulling out his phone to call his cousin, who just happens to be a cop. 

"Hey Seo-Joon, it's Shownu. Look, I might be overreacting but…" he goes on to explain the situation and how he thinks you're being held against your will. 

"Don't worry, we're on our way. Hang tight." Seo-Joon says, reassuring him. 

A few minutes later, Seo-Joon, along with five other officers walk up the stairs, joining Shownu as he points to which apartment is yours. 

The police count down before they break down the door, three men rushing in to tackle an unsuspecting Namjoon, who swore up and down everything was consensual, while you barely sat in a chair, rope burns around your wrist and ankles and torso, showing that you had been trying to escape, your body limp and bruise. 

Shownu rushes towards you, untying you and holding you until the ambulance comes, riding with you to the hospital and not leaving your side for a minute. 

Sarah and Wonho came home as soon as they could, Sarah feeling so guilty about leaving you, even though no one could have truly predicted this. 

Namjoon had been arrested and was awaiting trial as you healed from the terrible experience. You were assured you would never have to see him again, as he was now also being looked at for the disappearance of his previous girlfriend. 

As time went on, you and Shownu slowly became closer. He visited you at the hospital often, then when you were home, he practically lived in your apartment. 

When you got better and started going out, he was always around you, if not beside you, he was close enough that if you needed him, you could call and he would hear you. 

The second frat party you attended is where he kissed you for the first time. 

You had excused yourself from the dance floor, feeling flushed and a little thirsty, you made your way to the kitchen for a drink. Shiwnu came in behind you asking you if you were okay and if you needed anything. You were leaning against the wall when he walked over to you, his body just barely pressing against yours. 

"W-what are you doing?" You ask, your throat suddenly dry. 

"Can i see something?" He asks. You nod your head yes, and he leans in for a kiss. 

You melted. 

He pulled away, smiled and walked away. 

Oh boy. 

 The next week, neither of you talked about what happened at the last party. However, that weekend you found yourself pinned against a wall, your legs wrapped around his waist as he aggressively slid his tongue into your mouth. 

Shownu pulls himself away, letting you slowly slide down his body until you're level on the ground. 

"Fuck." He groans, giving you a smile and a wink before walking back to the party. You were definitely starting to like him. 

You had tried to ask him about it on Tuesday in class, and he told you to "just let it flow." 

You weren't sure what he meant, so you left it alone and went on with your week. 

That next weekend as you walked into the frat house, your body instinctively moved toward Shownu, but you decided you wanted a drink first. You smiled as tiu stared at the wall that just last weekend he had you pressed against. 

"Whatcha smiling at?" Sarah asks, walking behind you to pour herself a beer. 

"Ahh, nothing." You nervously chuckle. You knew she'd be happy for you, but honestly you didn't even know what the two of you were, if anything so why get excited over nothing? 

You and Sarah took a few shots, getting nice and tipsy before heading to the dance floor. You were feeling a little sad you still hadn't seen Shownu. The song changed as the two of you walked over there. You began rolling your hips to the beat, your eyes finally meeting Shownu's. He lickdd his lips as he watched you dance, shaking your hips and ass, keeping eye contact with him. 

When the song finished, you tried to get yourself another drink, but instead of making it to the kitchen, you found yourself being dragged up the stairs by Shownu. 

He pulled you into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you.

"Can I help…" you began before being cut off by his lips. 

"You are so sexy." He groans, his lips never leaving yours. He pushes himself against you, letting you feel his hard cock through his jeans.  

"I want you." You moan, moving yourself so he will pick you up. 

You wrap your legs around him as he moves you to the bathroom counter, sitting you down, never breaking the kiss, grinding his cock into your already wet clothes pussy. 

Shownu parts your legs as he pulls your ass closer to the edge of the counter, gripping his large hands tightly to your thighs.

He drops to his knees, pulling down your panties licks, with your help. You both were thanking you for wearing a skirt tonight. Shownu places your legs over his shoulders, leaning you back to get better access. Bending down, he llicks a strip up your already sopping cunt,  causing shivers to trickle down your spine.

“Fuck” you groan as he latches his luscious lips to your clit, sucking harshly.

You move your hands to his head, gripping a fist of his hair as he flicks his tongue against your clit, while you grind your self in his mouth. 

Shownu reaches his hand up, slipping under your shirt, cupping your breast before pinching your nipple, rolling it in between his fingers.

“Just like that” you cry out. "Fuck." You grunt your orgasm building.

Shownu flicks his tongue faster, switching between using his licking and sucking. 

Your grip on him tightens as your orgasm comes closer, a few more long licks and you’re sent over the edge, letting out a string of cries and curses words as your body shudders, harshly grinding yourself against his face. 

Shownu pulls away from you, licking his lips with a smile on his face. 

You push him back, sliding off the counter before dropping to your knees. 

Reaching up you unbutton his pants, yanking them down, along with his boxers, allowing his cock to spring free. 

Your mouth waters as you stare at his large, thick cock, his red tip dripping with pre cum. You wrap your hand around his large shift before taking his tip in your mouth, sucking harshly, lapping up the cum. 

"Damn baby." He groans, throwing his head back. You begin taking in as much of him as you can, moving your hand from in the way. 

You gag on his cock as you deep throat Him, making him hiss in pleasure. 

Taking him from deep in your throat, you twirl your tongue around his tip while pumping him at the same time. 

"Holy fuck." He moans, not wanting you to stop. "If you wanna fuck, you're gonna have to stop." He cries. 

You halt your movements, taking him from your mouth, before standing up and bending over the bathroom counter. 

"Fuck me." You cry, shaking your ass for him. 

You can hear Shownu groan as he watches you stand there, bent over, waiting for his cock. 

"Gladly." He growls, lining himself up with your entrance before pushing himself inside you. 

"Your cunt feels so good." He moans, thrusting in and out of you. Your hands grip the counter tightly, your fingertips turning white. 

"Harder." You cry. Shownu pounds his cock inside of you, the sound of skin snapping fills the bathroom. 

There's a knock at the door that shocks ykh both, but Shownu yells for them to fuck off, his orgasm building. 

You rub your clit, your second orgasm coming on quicker than your first, taking no time to wash through your body, making you cry out. 

"Shit im gonna cum." Shownu grunts, pulling himself out of you before pumping his cock to cum all over your back. "Fuck I'm sorry." He says, making you chuckle. 

"Just loan me one of your shirts." You smile. 

"Now that I can do." He says, grabbing your hand to take you to his room. 

Later that week Shownu asked you to be his girlfriend, which you happily accepted. He had told you, he knew that over time you'd come around to be with him. And he was right. 

** 

It had been a few months and you had never been happier. You and Shownu were still going strong, and Namjoon was being held in prison. Life was actually really good, it felt like nothing could bring the tso of you down. 

"Hello?" Shownu says, answering his phone. His face goes confused, putting his phone on speaker. 

"Y/N." You hear, it's Seo-Joon. 

"Oh, hi." You giggle. 

"Look.. i don't know how to tell you this but Namjoon was released. The judge decided there wasn't enough evidence." He sighs. 

Your body begins to tremble at the thought of Namjoon roaming the streets again. Just as you feel like you're about to cry, there's a knock at your door, and your stomach drops. 

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!