#Everyone but Soap is a thirdwheel

[baohanhanesel]

Manhandling. Ft Best friend Simon Ghost Riley and Boyfriend John Soap Mactavish.

Mention: Simon Ghost Riley, John Soap Mactavish.

The title is self explanatory. The reader does not have feelings for Ghost but Soap might just have... and she might just reconsider.

They were just spending free time in Simon's backyard. It was a completely empty huge space with high enough fences which shows nothing to the outside world.

The house was isolated, it was probably his choice because of the mask, or the desire to have privacy overpowering the desire to feel human.

Because Reader had thought again and again that living here off deployment cannot make one feel anything else but trapped.

For Simon Riley, he liked what the trap offered him in the price of his humanity.

Reader was sitting down on the big table next to the soft couches. Simon's back was turned to her ( which meant a lot for Simon. He trusted the people in his house.)

Reader stole a glance, lifting her head from the paints on the table and checking on Simon's relaxed posture.

She turned to her painting, in the peace of the house. There was no danger, and sure as hell no rush. She laid the brush on the canvas and towered over the small space she was trying to go into detail on.

Reader was hunched over the canvas, her entire attention was on the brush as of now. Her eyebrows furrowed and she wore an angry face to concentrate.

She laid the red stroke on the petals, and when she pulled her hand away her body pushed forward because of the hand smacked against her bottom.

She snapped her head up, startled.

John's laughter filled the air and big arms came wrapping around her waist.

"Is going well?"

Reader sighed.

"Shameless, John. That's what you are." But she didn't seem phased.

"Just takin' revenge for yesterday, bonny."

Well, she had to give that to him...

"Why back early Johnny?"

"Didnae have any good lads tae entertain me for a wee"

"Asking for a spar, Sergeant?"

"Yer up tae it Lt?"

Simon smirked, his eyes squinted into a smile.

Reader caught John's eyes glancing at the smile and then the scar on Simon's face. It wasn't everyday he took the mask off after all, but now that they were home it was okay.

Simon cracked his neck to the side and stood tall, moving up to John just as he let Reader go and they moved to the empty space of the huge garden.

Reader placed her brush down and plopped herself on the couch Simon was previously splayed on.

"This will be good, won't it?"

It ended as expected. Men covered in dirt. John lost a fair amount, but landed a few good hits which was also the very reason Simon was sitting down on the ground right now.

"Yer a saint, Lt."

"Don't know any other man that could say that to me after getting beat, Johnny."

"Aye aye, that true that true."

Reader hadn't taken her eyes off.

She noticed the intense gaze and hung her head down to whisper to herself.

"There is nothing wrong with me right?"

Reader was no better of a woman, John's hair was disheveled and she liked the sight of it. But it wasn't like she was that affected.

She swallowed her own thoughts pretty fast for the scenery she found herself looking at .

John had lifted Simon up and threw him over his shoulder.

Her eyes' shot comically open.

Reader laughed nervously and started fidgeting with her fingers while she tried to keep her disbelief underwraps.

John walked up to her, his hair disheveled to a natural beauty and his bright smile still as energetic. He was sweating, she could smell it from here but for reasons she does not want the answer to, she was not bothered by it. Well she was bothered. But for all the wrong reasons.

"Ah'll go to the shower," John announced before bending over to place a kiss over her temple. His breath was hot, and he was panting slightly. Simon hadn't protested to getting carried away.

Was it something that occurred...? Reading Simon's body language meant he trusted John to not drop him. Was he used to getting manhandled by his best friend?

Reader cleared her throat, making eye contact with John.

"Lright, y'all reek." Reader finally managed a sentence. "Don't use too much hot water."

"Dinnae worry lass, me and Simon are savin' it."

"What"

Simon let out a grunt, patting John's back unamusedly. "If you are carrying me, do it properly Mactavish. Do not get dirt on my carpets."

"Yes sir." And without even minding the woman, they left for the shower. Together.

With an upset sigh, Reader hung her head low and started rubbing her temples.

The worst part was, she couldn't find it in herself to get jealous. The sight was far too delicious to intervene... And what about them showering together? They probably saw each other more than Reader saw John's body. It was only rational. They were best friends, they saved each other's lives on a daily basis. What was so wrong with bathing together to save the hot water in Simon's sorry excuse of a shower?

Me, she thought. What is wrong is that I am not with them, she screamed internally but couldn't find it in her to voice it aloud.

[raviposting]

Okay but modern day bran watches soap operas

Actually I changed my mind, bran wouldn’t watch soap operas but he would definitely watch ‘keeping up with the lannisters’ and 'real housewives of dorne’

Listen Mads…Bran is doing both. 

He watches soap operas and he’ll figure out every twist before it ever happens he’ll be watching and go “Oh that’s really his twin brother” and guess what happens. He does this for every tv show tbh and Arya hates that he’s her tv buddy bc just once she would like to call a plot twist first. 

He also watches reality shows with Sansa and he always correctly guesses who’s going to win, who the bachelor will pick in the end, etc. 

“If you already know what’s going to happen, why do you even bother watching?” 

Bran, throwing popcorn into his mouth: “For the drama of it all.” 

The one person who actively watches reality tv with Sansa tbh; the only thing is he’s had to promise he won’t give any theories in her presence because he’s always right. 

He loves Real Housewives of Dorne. Maybe to an unhealthy amount. He stans Olenna Tyrell and thirdwheeled on a Sansaery date just so he could see Olenna, and he’s definitely been one of Those Fans with a posterboard that said “I

Also definitely has managed to hang out with Doran Martell at least once; he vlogged the whole thing and nowadays he keeps his emotions in check but that day he couldn’t stop smiling/almost tearing up. 

So he’s been on Keeping Up With the Lannisters when his family visited them for a week and usually the producers will gently nudge the Lannisters towards #drama (not that it takes much for this family) but the week Bran is there they don’t need to do anything. 

Cersei made a snide remark about Sansa and Bran smiled and went, “Ah, Ms. Lannister, it’s been so long since I last saw you. You remain lovely - you looked beautiful the day I saw you having sex with your brother.” 

Everyone was Shook, but the best reactions: Cat started choking on her food, Tyrion drank half a bottle of wine (before Sansa grabbed it out of his hands and started chugging), and Jaime tried to desperately slide out of his seat and not look at Cersei or Brienne who were on either side of him.