#Everyday I stray further away from God's light

[d3rpydoods]

🤡

[bambisspeckles]

A Cigarette, A Guiding Light, My Guardian Angel

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

*pics for aesthetic purposes only!

CW: simon is kinda gross (its my fav simon im sorry), depictions of a mildly unhealthy relationship but everyones happy, reader is going through it, simon also has his own issues but nothing is specifically mentioned, very light religious themes (literally one paragraph), simon is also a little mean but like teasing mean, mild editing, lmk if i missed anything!!

WC: 3.6k (oops!)

Summary: Simon finds a stray, only it's not an animal: It's you.

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It's winter again.

The cold, biting air nips at your skin as you wander the streets streets of Manchester, your mind in a constant daze. You've been wandering for awhile now, traveling on trains, staying in hostels, shelters, and sketchy hotels, with no place to call home, the one you once had a place you vowed never to return to. It's scary, lonely, the world feels so big when you wander with only the clothes on your back and a few things to your name.

You get desperate, especially during times like this. It's so cold out and your winter coat is wearing, seams splitting apart, and new holes appearing on the fabric everyday. You've tried shelters but most are full, not that you'd be able to afford to stay long anyhow, and hostels in Manchester cost too much per night. You're exhausted, your feet blistering, and your shitty winter boots are rubbing against the back of your ankle. You feel much like the sky above, dark, gray, cloudy.

Sometimes you consider knocking on peoples doors, begging for shelter and a hot meal but the fantasy ends as quickly as it begins, there's no point in begging for something people won't give you. You don't entirely blame these hypothetical strangers though, the world is crazy and hard, most of them are probably barely holding on themselves, how could you expect them to take care of you, even if only for a night. Not to mention it's dangerous for them, what if you're crazy? You're not but they don't know that. You don't know if they're crazy either.

That might be a chance you're willing to take though.

The sun is beginning to set and the air is growing frostier by the minute, you know shops will close soon so you'll only be able to camp out in them for so long. You wonder if it's even worth it, going into a nice warm cafe only to be kicked to the bitter cold is almost worst than just staying it, the warm and cozy atmosphere taunting you with what you can't have. It's cruel, begging on the street, the looks of pity from strangers, it all feels like one humiliation game, like god is taking pleasure in watching you lie down like a kicked dog.

Some nights you beg him to take you out, others you beg him to provide you hope, a guiding light, a guardian angel, anything that might give you hope to keep trudging on. It is said in times of struggle people either turn to god, or walk away from him.

You think you're somewhere in between.

Something snaps you out of your thoughts, a shadowy figure walking down a dark alleyway you were passing by. You know better than to follow monsters into the dark, and maybe if you were still the girl you once knew, you'd shrug it off and continue down the sidewalk, just like anyone else would. Only you're not like anyone else now. You're detached from society, the dirt on the bottom of people's shoes, you're not even sure you're seen as human anymore.

You can call but no one will answer.

It's normal for your, how have people put it? Your kind, to reside in alleyways, dark hallways the rest of the world wouldn't dare to touch. It's where the dirty go, the sick go, the broken go. You think you fit that bill well now, and since you do, you ignore the way your gut screams at you to turn around, and run back to the light. You've learned there is no hope in the light, so perhaps you'll find it in the dark. You walk further into the alley, the darkness making it feel like a never-ending tunnel. Everything you expect to be there is there, used needles and empty bottles, bodies slumped over, you're not quite sure if they're dead or alive.

Dirty. Broken. Sick.

Everything is there, everything except what you're looking for. You not even sure what it is, all you know is that you haven't found it yet. Perhaps it's not a thing you're looking for, maybe it's a person. Darkness envelopes you like a cold, uncomforting blanket, it feels like tendrils of murkiness are wrapping around your body, pulling you further into your own misery. You're not really sure how long you walked, it was likely only a few minutes but with the state of your mind it felt like hours. You can tell you've finally reached the end when you can squint and see a brick wall in front of you.

God, what did you expect. It was a whole load of nothing, of course it was. The cold was probably getting to you and you can't imagine you're in the best mental state at the moment, of course you're not! You just walked down a dark alleyway, I mean no one willingly does that unless they're mentally unwell and-

"You shouldn' follow strange men into dark alleyways girl." A deep, gravelly voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You take a quick moment to collect yourself, your voice practically a squeak as you talk.

"W- what makes you think I was following you." The man laughs at that and you finally turn to look in his direction, the orange glow of a cigarette butt guiding your gaze towards him.

'Wha' else would you be following? Or are you tryin' to tell me you walked down an alleyway jus' cause." There's a cocky, almost teasing lilt in his voice. It makes you scowl, not that he can see.

"I don't know why I came down here." You reply honestly and there's a helplessness that unwillingly seeps through your voice. You're afraid it reveals too much.

You hear the man huff at your words before he speaks again.

"Go home. S' not safe for such a little' bird like you to be out here all alone." You faintly feel the thick smoke from his cigarette as he blows out, tendrils of ash caressing your skin

"I don't have one, not anymore." You're not sure why you tell him this. He doesn't care, he can't save you.

Perhaps, foolishly, you hope he will.

"Bit dramatic are you?" The man takes another drag of his cigarette and you huff at is words.

"I'm not being dramatic, it's true. I don't have a home, I thought it'd be obvious with my unsightly appearance." He chuckles at that.

"Can't see you well in the dark… Perhaps we should step into the light, hm?" You hear the man shift in place for a moment, the sound of ruffling clothes filling your ears.

"There's not much to see in the light either." There's a beat of silence before the man speaks once more, his shadowy figure leaning closer to you.

"Come home with me bird." It's more of a demand than a question.

"I'm not some whore for hire." The bite in your voice causes him to grunt rather harshly, flecks of orange ember falling onto your skin.

"M' not tryin' to fuck you. Said' you got no where to go, m' offerin' you a place to stay. Take it or leave it bird." He blows out one final puff of smoke before the orange glow of the cigarette butt slowly dissipates into the night, the odd comfort of the dull light dissipating with it.

You clench your jaw for a moment, the sound of your grinding teeth filling the tense silence. Perhaps if you were still the person of your past, you'd say no, but if you were the person of your past you wouldn't be here at all. You're no longer integrated into society, no longer part of a community, you have nothing and no one yet the world keeps spinning, how foolish you were to think you mattered at all. Who are you to think you're above anyone else? Everyone just wants the same as you, a warm bed and a hot meal.

There are many paths to the same place after all.

With a long, breathy sigh, you nod into the darkness and though you doubt the man can see it, he somehow knows you've said yes.

"Smart thing you are." He coos at you so softly and it makes your stomach twist, though the underlying purr of his words makes your heart thrum just a bit.

Not that you'd say that out loud. \ You don't feel very smart at the moment, but who knows, maybe the monster in the dark can offer you more than an angel in the light.

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Simon knows better than to pick up strays, especially one as clueless as her, they're more trouble than it's worth; Dirty, sick, broken. He already has to continuously pick up the pieces of his past, millions of little shards that he has to take the time to glue back together, over and over again, he doesn't want to do that for anything else. He's always been firm in it too. Johnny constantly pokes fun at him, telling him his heart is colder than he originally thought, that perhaps he'd find a bit of joy in a disheveled little thing.

Johnny probably meant a cat though.

Instead, Simon's got himself his very own bird. He had no intention of caging you, truly he didn't, he was content to send you on your way, send you out of his life. But when the moonlight hit your features just right, a vulnerable glow in your eye visible, and the helplessness in your voice seeped out, he couldn't help himself. Simon never acts based off his wants, off his selfishness, but perhaps just once, he could have a pet of his own.

So that's what he does. He takes you, and you don't put up much of a fight. Willingly following him out of the dark alley and back into society, bright street lights causing him to squint his eyes. He asks your name and you tell him so sweetly. You're scared and unsure, he wants to tell you not to worry, that he's a bad man but he'd never hurt a helpless thing like you. Eyes all wide and glassy, furrowed brows, and pouty lips. He wonders how such a soft bird like you ended up shunned from the world. You don't look like a junkie, and you told him yourself your no whore for hire, when he looks at you all he sees is a helpless kitten, separated from all her purebred friends, and tossed outside for tomcats like him.

You fidget anxiously when he ushers you towards his car, his calloused hand moving onto your lower back to guide you softly, causing you to stiffen up for a moment. He chuckles meanly at that. Your fretting continues in the car and Simon's not sure what more he can do to calm you down, after all, he's never dealt with a stray before.

He resolves to leave you be, eventually you'll realize that his home is yours, that you're safe now, that he'll take care of you. You'll let yourself be pampered by him and he'll have a trophy to show off to the world, a pretty little thing perched on his arm like a good little bird.

Simon doesn't like strays, but he sure does like you.

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The man tells you his name his Simon and he doesn't tell you much more, you don't bother asking anything else, maybe you should. He takes you to his home, it's empty and lifeless, you think it speaks on the kind of man he is, you're not sure if it should scare you. You linger in the entryway unsure of what to do, it feels strange to be in a home, strange in a way you never thought it could. You feel out of place, uncomfortable, there's something inside you screaming, telling you to run away. Unfortunately, you don't want to play the cards you've been dealt and now you're forced to draw. Perhaps it's a mistake, if it is you're not sure you care.

"You jus' goin' to stand there bird?" Simon's voice startles you, pulling you out of your dazed state.

"Sorry…" You're quiet, a bit shy even, and you're not sure how to feel about the smirk that grows on Simon's face at your discomfort.

"Nothin' to apologize for," He says gruffly. "Come inside." So you do. Shuffling your feet against the wooden floorboards as you make your way over to him.

He guides you into the kitchen, a rough hand on your lower back as he silently urges you to take a sit in a small dining chair. You don't move for a moment so he drags the chair out for you, it's wooden legs screeching against the floor. He stares at you as you settle and you can't quite tell what he's looking for. You're in such a vulnerable state, emotionally rubbed raw, and physically you're sure you're much weaker than before. It's scary, and with his gaze your palms begin to sweat.

You wonder if this is what being prey feels like? Bottom of the food chain; the weakest link.

Simon feels much like a predator, stalking you, watching you. At any moment he could decide to rip you open, take whatever he wants from you, leaving your carcass behind as evidence of what he's done. He watches you for a few moments longer before his gravely voice breaks through the stillness.

"You must be hungry bird, why don' we get you somethin' to eat?" You nod at him timidly and he grunts back before turning around to rummage in his fridge.

"Don' have much to eat right now…" His voice trails off for a moment before it picks up again. "Can order take out, unless you're starvin' right this second." You shake your head at him, a pathetic 'no' escaping your lips. He tilts his head a bit and you realize 'no' may have been to vauge.

"I can wait." Your voice suddenly finds you again but it's still nothing more than a whisper.

He hums at you before picking up his phone and dialing a number. He places an order of what sounds like Chinese food and then hangs up the phone, the clacking of the screen against the tiled countertops causing you to cringe a bit.

"S' the only place open this late," He explains suddenly. "Would've asked you wha' you want but nothin' else is open." You shrug your shoulders and he chuckles at you.

"Timid thing you are, you know that bird?" You don't respond but he doesn't expect you to. Instead, he opens the fridge again, pulling out a half empty of beer before turning on his heels and walking over to his couch.

You watch as he sinks down into the cushions, the fabric stained and worn down, sipping on his beer while watching whatever happened to be on TV. You stay sat in his dining chair, eyes trained on his hulking figure sat on the couch, your body fidgeting in the uncomfortable piece of furniture. You want to speak but the words feel heavy on your tongue, to be honest you're not even sure what you'd say.

"You think loud." His gruff voice cuts through your dazed state and you jump in your seat.

"Sorry…" It's all you can think to say, you're not even sure what you're sorry for. You think maybe you're sorry for letting someone see you like this, weak and pathetic, sorry for letting him see you so timid and scared, not because you feel pity for him.

But because you pity yourself.

"Come on," He pats the small space next to him on the couch. "Doubt' you've had any good entertainment for a while… I know I haven't." The way he speaks sends a shive down your spine, the look in his eye nothing short of predatory. That's when it really clicks in your head that this man, Simon, isn't a good man. He didn't take you in because kindness blooms from his heart, he took you in because you're his prey, his pet.

You stare at him for a moment before shuffling over to the couch and plopping down into the stiff cushions. He makes a pleased sound at your obedience and it both fills you with butterflies and maggots, you feel disgusted at yourself for enjoying the scrap of praise he provides. You barely even know this man but every instinct in you is telling you to please him, to let him do what he wants to you, and in turn you get taken care of.

Or maybe, you'll only ensnare yourself more.

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Simon isn't sure how he's meant to take care of a stray like you. You're skittish, you jump at his voice and tense at his touch, it makes him grind his teeth together, struggling to resist the urge to sink his teeth into your soft skin until you submit. He doesn't want to scare, for once in his life he wants something soft to call his own, but the first step to caging a bird and clipping it's wings is getting it to trust you and he's truly lost on how to do that.

Logically, he know it will take time, but this is one of the rare moments he's not sure he has the strength in him to be patient. He knows he has to be, you're scared and playing the game of survival, pushing you too fast will only frighten you but it's hard for him to stray from his ways. Seldom can you teach an old dog new tricks.

Perhaps he needs help, someone who knows what scared little strays need to feel loved and safe. Simon has already bought you food, he really thought a clueless kitten like you would be cuddled up to him by now. He understands though, and one day you will too. He decides to ask Johnny, something he'd normally avoid doing but he's got a knack for taming strays.

Afterall he tamed Simon.

Once you've been bathed and fed he sent you off to sleep, ushering you into his tiny bedroom, gray bedsheets still tucked under the mattress. He thought it was cute that you felt guilty for taking the bed, and he had to assure you many times that it was alright and he'd be fine, though your pouty lip was quite the (unintentional) invitation to share the bed. When he was sure you were tucked in for the night he slipped out onto his balcony to call Johnny.

"Johnny." Simon could hear his own voice crackle through Johnny's side of the line.

"Lt! Callin me so late at night aye? M' I your booty call sir?" He could hear Soap chuckle on the other end of the line and he let out an exasperated sigh at that.

"Need your help Johnny." He can hear the Scotsman shift around a bit and he stifles a snort at the image of Johnny sitting up right in his chair over this.

"Aye, of course Ghost." Simon huffs out through his nose, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"How d'ya take care of a stray?"

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Things have gotten better with Simon. He's still grumpy and stoic, and truthfully he treats you more like a pet than a person, but (not so) secretly you think you like it. At first you were worried he'd take advantage of your vulnerability but he never really did, you always did what he said and that kept Simon satisfied. On the rare occasion you messed something up or didn't do what he asked of you, he make a point not to yell at you, instead he'd squeeze you tight and lowly tell you to 'quit your cryin'.'

You would both make a point to ignore the shivers it sent down your spine.

Perhaps your unorthodox relationship with Simon wasn't the healthiest, you were entirely dependent on him and you both liked it that way. Simon made sure you knew you had freedom, he gave you many opportunities to take advantage of it but you never did and you think that was his plan all along. You were already broken, all he had to do was build you back up, shape you exactly the way he wanted, and then you'd never run.

Not that you think you'd want to either way.

He wasn't mean, or cruel, just a bit twisted and lonely. He never hurt you, or treated you unfairly, you were his bird, and he made sure you knew that.

As the months transpired you find that you've grown grossly infatuated with him. He took you in, nursed you back to health, gave you all the attention and love that you needed to blossom and now you're completely his. Simon had his issues, you had yours, but somehow they mesh together in a way that creates a peace rather than chaos. It was a mundane, domestic life that both of you were content with.

Perhaps if you were still the old you, you'd hate him more than anything, but you now understand broken people more intimately than anyone would ever want to, and somehow it's been the greatest gift life has handed to you. When Simon holds you close, squeezes you tight, and tells you how much you're his, you find it hard to do anything besides melt into him, to feel anything besides adoration.

You were two broken people that somehow made a whole, and you were lucky you did. It could've been so much worse, things could have been so much harder, but he saved you, and though he'd never say it out loud, you saved him too.

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AHHH! I'm so freaking sorry for my absence, 12th grade is the year of dealing with many things so I've been super busy with it all! I wrote bits and pieces of this during my free time so it might not be entirely cohesive but I pray its good enough! Love and miss you all dearly <3 take care of yourself MWAH!!

as always likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[mjrtaurus]

There were a plethora of reasons Gan Fall believed he wasn’t worthy of his position.

The woman he was looking at in disbelief was one of them.

From the White Berets to the Divine Soldiers, every member of Gan Fall's court seemed to have a story about a young Shandian girl.

From what Gan Fall could gather, she wasn’t actually a designated solider but her battle prowess was not to be overlooked or understated. She moved in battle with unmatched speed and precision, less like a person and more like a ghost.

He always knew when she had been present at an altercation with how his soldiers returned: injured yes, heavily so but nothing they could die from which confused him greatly, she was so great as to wipe out entire battalions but not enough to kill?

He remembered asking his men and the looks of rage and embarrassment confused him further. They explained it was less her actions and more her words that enraged their souls.

“Do not mistake my mercy here for kindness, I hate you for what you have done and still continue to do to my people. I will not let you make me a killer. Your spilled blood is not worth the cost of our peace. Leave now, I will not let you disturb their slumber.”

They told him it was disrespect of the highest order. That this girl, they’d sneer, needed to be made an example.

Gan Fall thought she was extraordinary! He couldn’t believe her level of restraint!

She carried within herself more understanding than any of the Skypieans combined! Peace and cohabitation was what they should be striving for!

He had been eager to meet her back then but knew better to just stroll into Shandian camp ground and ask around for her, he didn’t even know her name!

But fate, as it always did, had other plans and the next thing he knew he had Shandians storming Angel Island screaming for her safe return. When he learned of what his men, his people had done he was speechless. A action that barely qualified as theft had cost that young woman everything.

He did the very best he could: he has given their best soil and searched with fervour, barely resting enough to qualify as sleep and barely consuming enough to qualify as eating. Nothing he did brought her back and everyday he returned to Hidden Cloud to watch more and more light leave the eyes of tear stricken faces.

Now he saw those same tear stricken faces but now they exuded pure joy at Urpi's return (he had committed her name to memory, refusing to let anyone in Skypiea forget her or what they did to her).

He wanted to talk to her, to go and deliver all the years of apologies he never could but knew better than to interrupt this moment.

He slinked away, realizing once again with how wrong those men had been. Her eyes were not cold nor unfeeling, no malicious or malevolence shined in them.

They were bursting with kindness, the hard won sort, but kindness all the same.

Okay so I’m eventually gonna do proper write-up of the Urpi Lore upon consulting my friend who is an experienced writer and fellow One Piece enthusiast, but I will say now, her “fall” was different, but not terribly so.

So the vearth crop blight didn’t effect food supplies, as the cloud island “soil” was used for that. It DID however affect a type of plant from Jaya that was integral to various ceremonies within the Shandia. Most important of these were naming ceremonies for newborns.

Urpi was caught “stealing” healthy vearth from Upper Yard, but not by the White Berets. Upper Yard is the jurisdiction of God’s Army, and they didn’t like Gan Fall for what they perceived to be pacifism. Thus when Urpi was caught, they didn’t inform him of the capture. She was just a Shandian that nobody would miss, so instead of killing or imprisoning her, they sold her to some blue sea pirates that had made the journey to Angel Island (which appears to be a little more common than I had previously believed).

The ship she was taken to made the descent from Skypiea via Sky Octopus, which strayed far off course on account of a storm. Upon reaching the blue sea of the Grand Line, they set their course for Sabaody, and eventually got waylaid by Garp’s passing ship. Everything else goes on from there as previously thought of.

With all of that in mind!

Gan Fall’s search was fruitless, and were it not for the vearth he gave in apology, the Shandia would have raged even harder. But planting season was drawing to a swift close, and they needed to get these herbs taking root immediately. They could not let a whole generation- or worse many generations- of their children go without their names.

Once the crop was secure, they would raise hell for their missing sister. And raise hell they did. For decades. And then… Enel came, and pushed them even further to the brink of extinction.

Nina had lost her sister, and then her son, and almost her grandson as well, but now there was peace.

And then there were wings. Great, black wings meant for soaring. A beast she was told of in stories, and had later seen in the etchings of the city that had been for so long out of their reach. The beast was a rain-bringer. A change-maker.

And it- he!- brought her elder sister home.

[lanshappycorner]

I just read a read a chrom x unpeeled orange smut and honestly ive never been more terrified in my life

[withahappyrefrain]

Usagi anon….I saw that there is now smut on Mr.Clean……all I have to say is that everyday we stray further away from God’s white light. We will never see the pearly gates. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I don't blame God if he doesn't want to talk to us at this point.

I've seen some fucked up things okay. I was in a discord server where a girl, unprompted, posted fanart she had commission that was of her and Pennywise fucking in the sewers.

I......still wasn't prepared for Mr. Clean smut.

I read the first three paragraphs to my fiancé. He got real quiet, got up, and left the room.

I then proceeded to share this with all my friends, because I refuse to suffer alone and I think trauma bonding really brings folks together.

[minachuuu]

The Colors of The Night

❣The Colors of the Night❣

❤ Pairing: Jinsoul x Fem!Reader

❤ Genre: Fluff (And maybe just a lil dramatic, but not angst as such)

❤ Word Count: 7.2k

❤ Song Suggestions: Singing in the Rain by Jinsoul & She by Dodie

A splash, deafening to her ears, Jinsoul opened her eyes to find herself floating in a black sea. But nothing about it felt cold or wet, but a warmth surrounded her body as she sank even further. Gray scaled, she looked at her own reflection on a mirror made of water below her, void of color or even depth for that matter. 

Jinsoul’s hand tried to reach in front of her, in case she found something to touch, something to feel. But instead she noticed her skin was a pale shade of gray. Her feet moving one behind the other create ripples in the air as she moves forward hoping to find something to see, something to hear. 

“Hello?” She whispered, but the dark nothing surrounding her amplified her quiet call with each echo. The sound bounces so at least it meant this place wasn’t endless, she thought.

But what is logic to the realm of dreams? What is and what isn’t? Some people say it’s just your mind playing games, some say dreams are everything your heart wishes.

Rings of waves expanding away from her bare feet touching the surface of the crystal water, distorting her own image as she shook her head away from it. What is this place? Where to go when the black extends infinitely around? 

“Jinsoul?” An echo far away responded to her, almost like a familiar song, making her head bolt up to search for the source. Urgency filled her veins, what she heard was no stranger’s voice, but one she couldn’t mistake.

“Y/n?” 

A drop of water fell on Jinsoul’s cheek, running cold down her skin. Her finger carefully wiped it away, and raised so her eyes could analyze it. Color, the wet skin over her finger had color once again. She looked down to the water mirror, the route the drop had travelled down her cheek was colorful again.

“Jinsoul?” She heard again but closer this time, maybe a little to close. Almost as if you were just mere inches away from her face. The only thought of that action made her cheeks spark in heat, but as much as her eyes searched for you she couldn’t find you.

“Y/n…” She gasped as you finally stepped out of the shadows, floating just above the water mirror below her. “What is going on?”

Your skin was void of color, only available to a gradient of light and dark grays, but she noticed a ring of light all around you pulsating in shades of blue, that illuminated enough so you could see each other, as if the rest of the void wasn’t there. Her breath halted as your hand cupped her cheek, the warmth of your skin roaming down to her neck. 

“We’re here.” You whispered as you got closer and closer to her, your hand not losing grip of her face. The rattling ideas in her brain urgently raced to her heart, accelerating its beats.

“But where is here?” She squinted her eyes, hoping that you didn’t realize how much they moved their focus from your eyes to your lips and from your lips to your eyes.

“Uh- the plaza?” 

A fresh breath of air attacked Jinsoul’s lungs as the void, the water mirror and you all disappeared in front of her eyes. Black turned into a gray film behind her eyelids, as a shadow moved back and forward and her ears filled with the sounds of a busy street, muffled behind the closed windows of the groups’ van.

The car had finally come to a full stop on the side of the road, blinking lights that reflected on the white snow left to be melted at the new warmth of the spring arriving. All that was left was to wait for Jinsoul to wake up and realize you had arrived at your destination.

“Oh my god,” Hyejoo gasped from the back seat, shaking Jinsoul’s shoulders strongly. “Unnie died again! Nooooo! Jinsoul Unnie! Whyyyyyyyy?!”

“Hyejoo!” Chaewon slapped the younger girl’s arm playfully as you and Yeojin chuckled at her exaggerated wail. “Don’t say that!”

It wasn’t new for her, she noticed that you were becoming a resident in her dreams. Maybe it was a sign of missing you after all the hussle of the preparations of a comeback and promotions, she always said to herself. It started with once a week, then twice, three times, everyday. 

Sometimes she just found you like a background character, offering her back that loving smile that she was so familiar with and adored. And other times it was just you and her. But every time that happened, her heart woke up agitated, her brain unable to get you out of there.

“Don’t say… don’t say what?” Jinsoul mumbled as her eyes opened, adjusting to the light on this side of her slumber. Her eyes slowly widening at the sight of your face just in front of her, as she raised her hands up to her increasingly heating cheeks.

“Oh-” Hyejoo cleared her throat as she straightened herself in her place. “Nevermind.”

“Welcome back.” You whispered, gently putting one of her stray hairs behind her ear. “We’re here but if you’re tired, we can go back to the dor-”

“No way!” Her energy suddenly jumped in hopes to deflect your attention away, gathering her stuff as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “We’re already here!”

Your eyes found her bandmates who just shrugged and nodded their heads back at you as she opened the door to the van. She scrambled to get her coat on clumsily and the sight got a sigh out of you, a smile adorning your lips as you shook your head. 

“Are- are you sure?” You stuttered.

“We’ve waited enough to try this new place, I’m sure!” Jinsoul waved at the manager in the driver seat as she jumped out of the van. “Thank you for the ride Manager-nim!”

You quickly followed behind, gratefully bowing your head at her managers and bandmates. Jinsoul took your hand in hers while helping you out of the van, but refused to let it go once you were out.

“Ah, why did you have to make only two reservations?” Yeojin sulked on the front seat as she turned around to face the others. “We could all use a good massage after our schedules lately, right?”

“I’m not coming near any of you when it comes to massages.” She pouted back, making everyone giggle. “Not after the last time you tried pinning me down forcefully to the ground.”

“I didn’t make the reservation, Y/n did!” Jinsoul pointed at Yeojin with her free hand, winking confidently. “I’ll bring all the members when we finish promotions, I promise.”

“Ah, your word Unnie!” Yeojin gasped, “And Y/n-Unnie is here as a witness!.”

“It’s fairly new, so we’ll try it first.” You chuckled as the van door started closing in front of you, your free hand waving back the girls. “And then I’ll make sure she tells you the truth.”

“Word!” Yeojin pointed back at both of you. “See you later!”

“Enjoy your date!” Hyejoo blurted out as the automatic door was almost closed, when you heard a sudden sharp slap come out of the van. “Ow! What was that for?!”

You chuckled at the last thing you heard before the door clicked and the engine on the car started. The manager offered you both a warm smile before his eyes were back on the road and the van was driving away. Both of you turned around as Jinsoul turned your intertwined hands into intertwined arms. 

“I’m sorry for falling asleep on the way here.” Jinsoul admitted as your feet started moving towards the modern building in front of you. “Most have been a quiet or awkward drive for you, you should have woken me up…”

“I don’t think one can have a quiet drive when Yeojin is in the car,” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Besides, I know you are still in the middle of promotions and I figured you could be tired, so I just thought you preferred a little nap.”

Jinsoul's cheeks blushing again caught her by surprise, as she turned her face to the other side so you wouldn’t notice it. Quick to brush it away, she shook her head, skipping in her place. 

“But isn’t that why we are here today? So we can relax and just spend a peaceful night together?” She cheered on. “By the way, thank you for inviting me, I’m sorry I made you wait so much but you know-”

“I wouldn’t dare trying a new place without my best friend, you know it’s our thing!” You admitted, taking pride in your bond and traditions. “And because it was your turn to choose last time, for mine I decided that a spa would be a really good option.”

“Casually after I told you the other day that all I wanted was a massage more than anything?” Jinsoul chuckled, tugging at your arm.

“Yes, it was merely a coincidence.” You tried sounding as serious as possible, barely hiding your real intentions. 

Jinsoul could easily have told you that she was way too tired or was busy to hang out with you tonight, it wouldn’t be rare for any of you. Usually when she was in the middle of promotions, you waited until she was free to see each other, but this time around you were a little surprised that she was the one that insisted on seeing you. Of course, you thought of something that would be good for her, something relaxing. 

You didn’t realize that your eyes were fixed on the girl intertwined at your arm, as a smile kept growing over your lips. It was her eyes looking back at yours as she giggled that brought you back into reality in a second.

“Hey, our reservations are at eight.” You cleared your throat, fixing your eyes to the front. “I think we have time to grab a little snack before getting there.”

“I think there’s a little store that way,” Jinsoul pointed farther into your path and your eyes fixed on the distance, where a little stall with a warm yellow light illuminated a fruit stall on its front. “The snacks are on me!”

You chuckled back at her as you both excitedly accelerated your walk, getting to the corner of the block and to the front of the store. 

You opened the door and let her go inside when something of a bright pinkish-orange sparkled in the corner of your eye. Peaches, they looked almost like fake ones of how bright they shined. 

You picked up a couple, eager to show them to Jinsoul and excited for the taste of something fresh. As you entered the store, shaking away the cold wind of the night behind, you looked through the aisles, searching for your friend until you finally found her on the back, her eyes roaming through the refrigerators and the drinks inside them.

“Ah, found you.” You closed in, bouncing lightly with every step. “The peaches looked really good for not being in season, so I grabbed a couple.” 

“And I got you this too.” She shook a bottle of apple juice as she closed the fridge. “Is it okay?”

“Yes!... Do I really get that all the time?” You chuckled as Jinsoul nodded, “You know me way too much, I bet I’m made of seventy percent apple juice by now.”

And maybe you taste like it too. Jinsoul jumped startled at her own thoughts, immediately turning around in her place, afraid that her eyes or reddening cheeks gave them away.

“Should we go pay now?” Her voice trembled as she ran towards the counter. You followed her closely and put the two peaches on the counter, aside of your drinks and chips. 

The man tending the store was scanning the items, as you rested your head over Jinsoul’s shoulder. The gesture grabbed her by surprise, as she shook her head. Why did a common gesture between you and her suddenly make her heart jump and yearn for more like never before?

You grabbed the items once she paid for them, and headed out of the store. You walked silently side by side through the street at your own calm pace as you snacked on your chosen food. 

Out of everything that Jinsoul tried to do to avoid getting more and more confused about her feelings towards you, her eyes insisting on landing over you did not help at all. The warm and cold lights of the melting snow and the lanterns rested like heavenly light over your face. She could swear time slowed down and her lungs forgot how to work correctly.

“Hey-” You started a conversation that you tried holding until an appropriate moment, your voice bringing Jinsoul back from her own trance. “What were you dreaming about in the car on the way here?”

“How do you know I was dreaming?” She squinted her eyes towards you. You couldn’t contain your smile at her pouty lips mouthing her question as her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Well, you were kind of twitching on your place, and mumbling stuff under your breath…”

“It was a weird dream to be honest.” Jinsoul hesitated, still not sure on what it meant or how to feel about it. “It looked a lot like a possible nightmare…”

“Really?” A displeased gasp was heard in your tone as you bolted your eyes away from her. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, cause…” Her eyes wandered around trying to find a good alternative to her actual dream, especially now that she was unsure how’d you take it if your name slipped out of her mouth after saying it looked more like a nightmare. So she went to her other best option, the first that came to her mind. “I dreamt that I was blonde again.”

A hard laugh escaped your mouth that made some people turn their heads at you, as your head shook at her response. You remember vividly those times, and you know she didn't enjoy some parts of it but not quite to classify it as a nightmare.

“You didn’t even look bad when you were blonde!” You launched back at her as you calmed down. “C’mon Jinsoul, you’re so pretty, everything suits you well.”

“Tell that to my scalp!” Jinsoul sneered back hoping that your laugh and her comment distract you from her red cheeks after you commented. “Even you said that you liked me better with dark hair!”

“And I do! I just thought... I heard you calling my name when you were dreaming and I was curious.” You sighed, your eyes capturing hers for a second. Jinsoul’s eyes avoided yours as they grew wider, the red on her cheeks intensifying. “But, I just misheard it in between your mumbles...”

“No, not at all!” She panicked, her hands fidgeting as she hid them in the sleeves of her long sweater. “Well, I mean, maybe-”

“Oh look!” You interrupted, your feet halting as your hand pointed at a stall beside you. “We’re finally here.”

You reached a clear glass door, your hand grabbing a cold metal handle that you pushed and let Jinsoul pass first into the lighted heat of the building. A little bell rang your entrances, as warmth hit your faces when you closed the door behind you, instantly making your coats useless. 

A waterfall fountain adorned a marbled wall on the other side of the room, plants climbing on both sides of it. A polished and wavy wooden counter sat in front of it, aromatic candles sitting on top of it whose flame danced in a soothing and amicable wave.

“Welcome, welcome! You can leave your coats on the hanger right beside you!” The lady behind the counter on the other side of the room greeted both of you in, waving gently. “Can I have the name of your reservation?”

“Of course, it’s Y/n Y/L/n, I made a reservation at 8.” You approached the counter after hanging both your coats, the lady searching for your name on the screen at her desk.

“Ah! Here it is.” She smiled as she read the information. “A Couple Package reservation for Jung Jinsoul and Y/n Y/L/n. Is that right?”

“It is!” You responded as you handed your credit card to the lady.

“C-Couple?” Jinsoul stuttered as her head tilted in curiosity.

“It was almost the same price as two separate reservations. But we get to use the Couple installations, a box of chocolates, and best of all...” You chuckled as you turned around, excited for the last benefit. “Matching slippers that we get to take home!”

“They have your initials embroidered!” The lady added to your enthusiasm as she handled your card back. 

“AND they have our initials embroidered!” You repeated even more excitedly as you nudged her arm playfully. “Your members say we always act like an old married couple anyways so why not take advantage of that?”

She laughed at your sparkling eyes and the slight bounce on your feet. She always loved your child-like spirit, mostly because she was just like you. You both made each other feel like it was okay to get excited at little or apparently insignificant things in life, like… matching embroidered slippers.

The woman nodded, signaling you both to follow her. She showed you the way to your changing rooms, but with each step, Jinsoul’s heart suddenly started ramping up.

She was sure not that kind of person, but she couldn’t deny that she was getting a bit mad with all of this. Friendship worth half a lifetime, unconditional. Nothing of this sort was out of the ordinary for any of you, the holding of hands, the intertwined arms, the subtle skin touches, changing clothes with the other around, daily messages. She was used to seeing your lemongrass scent, the sparkle in your eyes, your wide smile and singsong laugh. 

Why all of a sudden all those little gestures made her mind fly away and her heart jump in circles?

With her numbed and cloudy mind, she didn’t realize when you both were already laying down the massage beds until she felt a warm hand travel through her back with strength in its grip. Her eyes recognized her surroundings, calming down when they laid over your silhouette just parallel to hers. 

“You seem like a young couple,” One of the ladies preparing something on a table on the other side of the room asked, “How long have you been together?”

Both your cheeks harmonized in hues of red and pink, as you locked your eyes with each other, trying to find any word to answer to that.

“We’re not together!” Jinsoul spitted out. “We’re just friends… really good friends.”

“Really good friends?” The lady laughed as she repeated to herself, you chuckled as Jinsoul realized that emphasizing that phrase might have been a little too much. “I could have sworn... there’s such sincerity in your eyes, you look like a just married couple.”

“Eh, other friends say we sometimes act like an old married couple.” You giggled. “So I guess you aren’t that far from the truth.”

“Well, one can never know what the future holds.” The woman turned around from her table, a tray with hot towels and facial masks prepared, leaving it on a counter that separated you and Jinsoul. “Finishing the massage, I’ll proceed with your desired facials. Meanwhile, enjoy the massage. Don’t worry if you fall asleep in the process, the best thing you can do is relax.”

“Thank you!” You answered, as the woman bowed and exited the room. 

Jinsoul couldn’t help but repeat that entire conversation over in her head, but was brought over again to this reality when you extended your hand across the little gap that separated both. She grabbed back your hand, intertwining your fingers as you closed your eyes, willing to submit yourself to the relaxing atmosphere.

But Jinsoul refused to close hers. They didn’t want to leave the sweet image of your hand resting with hers, but she also feared that everytime she closed them she woke up seeing you in a whole different light, colors surrounding you that she was unsure that she wanted to explore any further.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A splash, deafening to her ears, Jinsoul opened her eyes to find herself floating in a black sea, again. Nothing about it felt cold or wet, but a warmth surrounded her body as she sank even further. Gray scaled, she looked at her own reflection on a mirror made of water below her, void of color or even depth for that matter. 

Jinsoul’s hand tried to reach in front of her, but she already knew there was nothing to touch, something to feel. Her skin was a pale shade of gray and her feet moving one behind the other created ripples in the air as she moved forward hoping to find the only one she knew that was here to see, to hear. 

“Y/n?” She whispered, but the dark nothing surrounding her amplified her quiet call with each echo. The sound bounced back to her ears as she hoped to find you in the endless void again.

“Jinsoul?” An echo far away responded to her, like a familiar song, making her head bolt up to where you appeared last time.

“Y/n!” 

A drop of water fell on Jinsoul’s cheek, running cold down her skin. Her finger carefully wiped it away, and raised so her eyes could analyze it. Color, the wet skin over her finger had color once again. She looked down to the water mirror, the route the drop had travelled down her cheek was colorful again.

“Jinsoul?” She heard again but closer this time, a little to close. 

“Y/n…” She gasped as you finally stepped out of the shadows, floating just above the water mirror below her. “Here you are.”

Your skin was void of color, only available to a gradient of light and dark grays, but she noticed a ring of light all around you pulsating in shades of blue, that illuminated enough so you could see each other, as if the rest of the void wasn’t there. Her breath halted as your hand cupped her cheek, the warmth of your skin roaming down to her neck. 

“I’m here.” You whispered as you got closer and closer to her, your hand not losing grip of her face. The rattling ideas in her brain urgently raced to her heart, accelerating its beats. She squinted her eyes, hoping that you didn’t realize how much they moved their focus from your eyes to your lips and from your lips to your eyes. 

But this time she decided not to stop the natural path of her instincts, letting herself get closer to you with each second. 

But a second drop of water came down over her, as it caressed it’s way down her face leaving a colorful path behind her like it’s sister before. She took a step back, startled. But then a third drop came down, now landing on your face. A fourth, a fifth, more and quicker landing on top of you and the void around you, uncovering behind them a complete and colorful path behind them.

She looked down, discovering that her gray gown only turned a deep dark blue as each drop decorated their way through. Your laugh echoed through the endless void, as your smile complemented your now colored, blushed cheeks and pastel blue gown. The drops started illuminating up the emptiness around, each of them turning into a star as they froze in space and shined with this cyan hue over them. 

Jinsoul’s eyes vaulted up to catch you running across the stars, raining all around you as you splashed your feet over the water mirror, now a path, a rainbow of hues of blue that reflected your radiance.

“Let’s go!” You signaled back to Jinsoul as you took off running in a direction by yourself.

“Y/n! Wait!” Jinsoul ran behind you, trying her best to reach out for you. Her hand only barely grazed yours as she tried to keep up with your pace.

“What are you waiting for then?” You shouted as you kept your feet dashing through the water, making your reflections almost unrecognizable in the ripples that you left on your path.

“I- I don’t know!” She yelled back, her hand only barely grazed yours as she tried to keep up with your pace. 

Where did you get your speed from to run away from her that quickly? She started losing speed as her legs gave up on her. Her feet halted as she raised her face to the sky, the raining stars softly showering her skin.

Violins and a piano in the distance accompanying the constant beating of her heart that acted as a drum to this scene that looked out of a painting. She let herself enjoy the sight for a second, enough for you to stop running away from her and come back to her.

“Is this what you want?” You giggled through your tired breath, holding your arms to the sky.

Her head tilted at the confusing question, shutting her eyes closed, letting her lungs catch back their breath, shaking her head clear of any mudding thought. But after opening her eyes, everything was still there.

The way you played with the rain of stars around you. The blue glow landing and perfecting your silhouette, as it cooled down your skin and painted your cheeks purple. It was only you in front of her, bearing that smile that wrinkles your eyes that she loved so much.

Maybe it clicked in her mind at that precise moment, but she wanted to be the reason for that smile someday.

“Yes…” She launched herself into your arms, holding you closely to her body. Close enough so she could feel your beating heart against hers. You tied your arms around her back, as her hand travelled to your chin and turned it towards her. Her lips urged on closing the gap left to reach yours, as she whispered back against them. “Yes, this is everything I want.”

“JINSOUL UNNIE!”

Jinsoul jumped on her own seat, her hands flying in self defense, hitting against the window beside the couch she was napping on. 

“AH!” She gasped at the impact, taking her hands back to her stomach where she curled around them.

“Told you it worked!” Hyejoo chuckled in the front seat now. 

“We’re almost there unnie,” Heejin was seated beside her on the back seat of the van, quickly packing her stuff up on her bag. “Finally home.”

A strong sigh escaped out of Jinsoul’s mouth as she threw her head back into the headrest, her hands rubbing her eyes as she was welcomed back into this reality.

“What were you dreaming about over there?” Sooyoung asked from the seat in front of her. 

“Oh c’mon!” She groaned as she grabbed her bag and scanned for items to clean up. “Why does everybody know when I’m dreaming things?”

“Because you talk in your sleep.” A chorus filled the van as Heejin, Sooyoung, Hyunjin and Hyejoo responded at the same time.

“I… I do?”

“Yep, and honestly it’s kind of cute sometimes.” Hyunjin turned around to face her, resting her chin on the back of the seat. “Other times it’s a little scary, depending on what your mumbling about”

“I- I was dreaming with Y/n.” Jinsoul sighed, quietly and hoping nobody really listened to her. 

The car filled with silence let her breathe for a second, as she gathered her stuff around. Her phone, earplugs, wallet-

Her eyes paused for a second as she opened the wallet up, resting over a polaroid picture of one of your escapades together to a theme park. A tender smile drew over her lips as she stared, only to be brought back by Sooyoung’s voice.

“When are you going to tell her?” Sooyoung had adopted the same pose as Hyunjin, Hyejoo’s face peeking from all the way up the front, and Heejin laying close beside her. All eyes over her made her cheeks light up like fire as she fumbled her words.

“I- I barely just accepted that I have a crush on her!” She defended herself as she shoved her wallet back in her bag. “There’s no need to rush things up.”

“Rush?” Hyejoo sneered as she turned around, facing back the front. “You call eating each other with the eyes for two years ‘rushing things up’?”

The girls in the car chuckled at her comment, but it only made Jinsoul pout as the thought sank further into her mind. The car arrived at the front of their dorm, just in time for this conversation to be forgotten. 

All the girls rushed out of the van, eager to finally be able to sleep for an entire night. But Jinsoul took her time, mostly because her mind wasn’t really into leaving the van but constantly reminding her of you and what she would do now that she was finally free and inevitable you would see each other again.

But a loud sound got her out of her cloudy confusion. A thunder rumbling through the skies as she walked her way to the front door. 

“But it’s just spring, why is it thundering?” Sooyoung asked, waiting for her as she held the door open. “Do you think it will rain?”

“I don’t think so.” Jinsoul answered plainly. 

Yves shrugged as she closed the door behind her, both of them walking the stairs up to their dorm floor. And as they opened the door, the sight behind it was different from any other day that you could imagine. 

The usual chaos one could imagine that a twelve person house could bare, was nowhere to be seen as every corner you encountered there was one girl just laying down on whatever surface they found comfortable enough to do so. A special sight only available at the end of a harsh and intensive promotion period.

“I’ll see if there’s something in the kitchen that we can eat,” Sooyoung told everyone as she left her bag on the floor beside Yeojin. “Or would you be alright with ordering something?”

“TAKEOUT!” A chorus of not less than seven girls filled the air, some not even on a visual range and probably already laying over their beds.

Sooyoung just nodded and walked her way to the kitchen, as Jinsoul threw her entire body on the couch beside Yerim. She got her phone out, leaving her bag on the floor. Turned it on to browse for a while until her eyes were heavy enough, only to realize she had unread messages from you.

‘You’ve done so good this comeback, I’m so proud of you. Last day of promotions! Hwaiting!’

‘Saw the broadcast, beautiful as always. Text me back when you get home, you’ve done great!’

She was ready to dial your number up when a sudden knock on the door was heard, making all the girls around raise their heads.

“Is anyone missing?” Vivi started counting the girls around, counting the ones she already knew that were in their bedrooms. 

“No, everyone’s here. We were the last van.” Jinsoul answered back.

“Maybe it’s a manager?” Jiwoo screamed from her bedroom, as the knocking sounded again.

“Is anybody going to get the door?” Haseul shouted from the kitchen.

“Fine, I’ll get it.” Jinsoul moaned as she got up from the couch. It was only enough for her to get close to the door when a familiar scent invaded her senses. Lemongrass.

She already knew who laid on the other side of the door, and still the image of your silhouette standing right in front of her as she opened the door surprised her. She stood there for a second, a second that felt like hours to her just staring at you. The beating on her heart speeding up, her cheeks blushing as for once she was thankful for not having taken all her makeup off.

“Hi!” You cheered up with your shoulders and usual smile. Raising up your hands, they were occupied by large plastic bags filled with containers full of food. “I figured neither you or the girls would have any energy left to cook anything, so I brought you this as a congratulating gift.”

“Y/n…” A swift whisper was the only thing that she could get out of her lips, her eyes scanning you up and down, until it hit her. “YOU ARE SOAKING WET!”

“...Yes.” You shrunk your arms as you lowered the bags of food, a little heavy to keep carrying them up. “I thought it wouldn't be such a big deal, it never rains in the first days of spring. I was cruelly proved wrong.”

“Please come in! Warm up!” She insisted. 

“No! Don’t worry about it, I just got out of work so I’m just passing by quickly on my way home.” You shook your head, chuckling at the whole situation. You noticed the heads of the rest of her members start popping up from behind her, curious at the scene. “I wouldn’t want you to take care of this right now, you all must be tired. I’ll just go back to the car for something...”

Jinsoul’s mind lit up a thousand ideas on it’s own, cornering her into making a decision. She turned around, to which the other girls quickly averted their gaze somewhere else.

“Hyejoo!” She called loudly.

“WhAT?” She snapped her head towards you two, sinking her body farther on the couch.

“Come here!”

“Unnieeeeee!” She whined, covering her face with her arms. “WHy ME?!”

“Do you want food or not?!” Jinsoul grabbed one of the bags and shaked it up almost like a prize to a well trained pet.

You chuckled at the exchange, not really surprised, since you hung out with them fairly often. A silent pause filled the air as you watched the girl on the far end of the hallway heavily raise her body from the couch.

“I’m coming!” She groaned. Hyejoo offered you a smile and a nod in her usual way of greeting as she took one bag on each hand, her tired eyes moving back and forth between you and Jinsoul. 

Sensing the tension in between both of you, she politely bowed at you and rushed back into the house, as Jinsoul grabbed a coat from the hanger on the side of the door and quickly put it on.

“Let’s go!” She gasped as she grabbed the nob behind her.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get soaked!” You tried holding her back, but hesitated into touching her to not wet her with your dripping clothes. “I just have to grab something from the car, bring it and I’m out, I swear”

“Well, maybe you want some company on the way down the stairs?” She shrugged as she crossed her arms over her chest, evading your eyes as she started to regret her ideas one by one. “My… company?”

Your cheeks reddened at the sight of a flustered Jinsoul in front of you, and with her eyes sparkling back at you, you could never deny you loved her company every second you could.

“S- Sure.” You stuttered, getting caught by surprise when she intertwined her arm with yours. “You’re going to get we-”

“It doesn’t matter.” She cut you up plainly. 

The rest of the way down the stairs was strangely quiet and quick. You wanted to ask her how everything went, maybe how you weren’t able to get her out of your mind for the last three weeks since you last saw each other. She was very serious and you thought it was because she was really tired. Totally understandable after a month and a half of promotions. 

But inside of her she was trying to build a courage that she didn’t even know she had in her. 

Opening the door to the main building, you managed to free yourself from her hold. Together you stood under the roof of the porch as you sighed, mentally preparing yourself to brace the rain once again. Uselessly, you raised the soaked hood on your jacket up to your head as you walked down the stairs as Jinsoul was already exploding with a thousand words to say.

“Y/n!” 

She shouted as you were already halfway, immediately regretting her decision when she saw you halting and turning, standing and waiting for her to keep talking right under the pouring rain.

“I- I like you!” She felt her body almost giving up under her when the words spluttered out of her mouth. Her hands were shaking as she waited for your response, but she could only see your eyes squinting back.

“What!?” You had barely listened to her words under the loud rain surrounding you, and of course it didn’t help that Jinsoul barely whispered them.

Jinsoul's eyes shut as she shook her head. Maybe later that night she would grow to regret what she was about to do, but it wasn’t everyday that she got an opportunity like the one in front of her. 

She stepped out of the porch, each step getting her closer and closer to you as she crossed her arms on top of her chest. But all she could do against the nerves rattling her body was to keep spitting words that just came into her mind.

“Look, I didn’t want to tell you this way. I didn’t even think that I was going to tell you today, soon or ever to be honest, but here we are.” She started. Rings of waves expanding away from her feet touching the surface of the crystal water, distorting her own image as she shook her head away from it. “I have been dreaming each and every night, every nap, and every second it’s you. You’re there and it’s something that makes me happy. It makes me wish that I didn’t have to wake up.”

“Jinsoul-”

“And one can only bear so much without wondering what it all means. Why do I count the hours of everyday just to be able to hear your voice through the phone or receive a text from you?” She was closing in on you, and the least of her worries right now was the rain pouring on top of her, she just wanted to get everything out of her mind. “But it’s your colors that bring me peace at night, they let me find my way through the dark… This doesn’t make any sense, why would you know what all of this means if I don’t?!”

Only then she dared look up at you, only to be met with a painting coming straight out of her dreams.

The drops illuminated the emptiness around, each of them turning into a star, reflecting the street light around as they froze in space and shined with this cyan hue over them. And there you were in the middle of it all, the way the rain of stars looked like it jumped around you. The blue glow landing and perfecting your silhouette, as it cooled down your skin and painted your cheeks purple. It was only you in front of her, bearing that smile that wrinkles your eyes that she loved so much.

“Why are you smiling at me?” She shrunk in her place, just hoping that a miracle happened and you weren't able to listen to everything she just splurged out of her mouth. “It was nothing, really-”

“Oh Jinsoul.” You chuckled, capturing her attention. She noticed a ring of light all around you pulsating in shades of blue, that illuminated enough so you could see each other, as if the rest of the void wasn’t there. Her breath halted as your hand cupped her cheek, the warmth of your skin roaming down to her neck. “Because I know what you’re talking about.”

“What?” She let her arms fall down to her side as layer behind layer started to fade from her soul, bringing her closer to you. “You understand?”

“Every word of it.” You whispered, a secret well kept between two souls that waited for each other mere inches apart. “I thought I was the only one that couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

“That means…”

“Jinsoul, I like you too. I have for a long time!” You giggled through your tired breath, holding your arms to the sky. “And I have dreamed that I told you this a hundred times already but still woke up and everything was exactly the same!”

“There’s a way to know if it is a dream or not…” She gasped, her mind clearing for the first time since this crush on you muddied her thoughts. The rattling ideas in her brain urgently raced to her heart, accelerating its beats. She squinted her eyes, hoping that you didn’t realize how much they moved their focus from your eyes to your lips and from your lips to your eyes. 

“And what is that?” 

“Because if this is a dream, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

Jinsoul launched herself into your arms, her hands cupping your face as her lips urgently closed the gap on yours. Startled at first, you body tensed up taking a step back to counter her body weight over yours. But just as moved away from you, your arms hurried to her waist, bringing her back to you.

She was right that other night, your lips tasted like apple juice and peach, a sweet combination that she could never be tired of tasting for the rest of her life. Your skin was as soft and tender under her touch, with the tips of her fingers tingling like if they were gracing down a silk made rainbow. 

And your eyes, how she could stare at them forever. It was just for a second that you pulled apart for air, but it was just enough for her to notice all the variety of colored nebulas and stars that shined on them only for her.

How could she convince herself it wasn’t a dream? The cold wetness of the rain dripping down both your bodies, fighting with the warmth of your embrace, it was not comparable to the ghostly sensations that dreams offered her.

“You know-” You sighed, anything in the world unable to erase the smile off your face. “I think I will accept your offer of coming in and warming up.”

“Yeah,” She chuckled back, shyness returning into her face as she loosened her grip over you. “It doesn’t sound like a bad idea right now.”

You offered your hand to her, and she didn’t hesitate a second as she intertwined her fingers with yours. Not forgetting the last bag of food waiting on your car, you chuckled as you returned to the safe, warm and dry interior of her dorm. 

She could stop staring back at you, making sure you were still there by her side, and no one around tried to wake her up and away from in any way.

Because for once, her thoughts weren’t cloudy or cluttered, but bright and surrounded in a blue hue that always seemed to follow you around in the night. Maybe for the first time, Jinsoul was sure what her favorite color was.

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

Subject of Sin - Part 1.

Incubus Shigaraki x Nun reader; NSFW

Warnings: noncon, dubcon, somnophilia, possessive behavior, desecration of religion, monsterfucking.

Word count: 2,520 

A/N: A huge thank you to @shigamothki-vs-the-lamp for beta’ing and inspiring me to finish this fic! 

Your innocent forays into temptation and sin catch the attention of a demon.

Part 1| Part 2

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‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‎‎“He sleeps inside my soul ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎And sometimes wakes up in the night ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎And plays with my dreams.” ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎— Fernando Pessoa

Demons lurk within our minds, not in the crevices of forgotten places. If the darkness ebbs and flows, it is merely a reflection of our innermost desires — a manifestation of sin that refuses to be held at bay any longer.

You kept Father’s teachings close to heart and steadfastly studied the scripture. It was the only hope you had to cling to, having been hidden away at a monastery since childhood. Life was kind and peaceful, and you spent your days deep in prayer and tending to the ill and destitute alongside your sisters.

And yet, one way or another, something began to stir within you. It crept up on you throughout the years in the form of innocent temptations — a yearning to explore the local village for just a while longer, exhilaration after allowing a baker to slip a sweet roll into your satchel as thanks for helping his daughter, despite knowing you were not allowed to accept gifts from others, unrecognizable melancholy as you stared out into the sea of rolling hills on a crisp autumn day and admired the endless blue sky — so many little temptations that doused the bright flames of your spirituality and allowed the darkness to spread.

It was difficult to notice the change. Even when you found yourself restless and cursing the pain shooting up your knees as you knelt before a pew, you quelled your inner conflict with prayer and fasting. But adulthood brought about new challenges. The cracks within your restless spirit had spread like ivy and primed you for your first mistake.

Your day started like any other. Winter ensnared the grounds of the monastery in blankets of glimmering snow and stinging winds that proved difficult to overcome. The villagers were kind enough to send provisions to the monastery, ferried up the winding hills of gnarled oaks by a gentleman who you had seen many times. He was handsome and friendly, his inky windswept hair plastered across his forehead and cheeks nearly as red as his eyes. Father had the pleasure of speaking to him more often than not, but you still attempted to catch a glimpse of the man under the pretense of unloading the cart. Your heart always stirred at the sight of his warm smile.

You should not have entertained your silly whimsies. You should not have gone to bed with impure thoughts after a hasty Hail Mary, staring into the flames of the hearth as you huddled beneath your blanket and slipped a hand between your quivering thighs, watching the glowing red and orange hues of burning cracks within the firewood and remembering those beautiful eyes. The experience was so humiliating that you hurried out of bed in the dead of night and ran straight to the church, letting the sharp pain of cold snow against your bare feet guide you ever further towards your only chance of salvation.

The imposing silence of the church did little to soothe your nerves. Towering walls of barren stone and creaking wooden pillars surrounded you, devoid of hospitality in the dead of night. You took a few meek steps towards the altar. Unable to meet the solemn gaze of your savior, you scurried off to find Father’s private quarters instead. Your loud knocking had clearly startled the man into wakefulness. The poor priest looked just as frazzled as you felt, and you made sure to apologize profusely for your rude behavior as you dragged him to the confessional with tears streaming down your face.

Father had been so deathly silent while you told him about your infatuation with the villager that you were certain he would scold you good and proper. But no, he had been as compassionate as he always was, offering words of comfort and forgiveness.

That should have been the end of it. You did not see the villager for days after your shameful act. The mundane tasks of everyday life kept you busy. So busy, in fact, that you managed to work yourself to the brink of exhaustion one day, and you fell asleep in the alcove of the library like some kind of child.

You did not remember dreaming. Consciousness trailed on the edge of a feeling that stirred you from slumber — a barely-there touch brushing along your bottom lip, followed by a short puff of cold air that fanned across your face and startled you awake. The candle beside you innocently flickered and waved in greeting, and the shadows around you mockingly mirrored its dance.

This game of ethereal cat and mouse continued for weeks. Every so often you would feel lingering sensations trailing along your face whenever you let your mind wander, growing only bolder once you removed your constricting habit within the sanctity of your bedroom. With your hair freed from its confines as you brushed through the soft strands, sometimes you imagined a hand trailing after the brush with each downstroke. It reminded you of how your Mother Superior combed her fingers through your hair to prevent tangled knots from hurting you.

All of this, you could attribute to your imagination … until the sharp divide between fiction and reality steadily grew muddled.

A particularly strange encounter occurred one evening. You opened your small window and pensively stared out into the snowy landscape, a singular thought daring to escape your wicked mouth, where none but God could listen to your act of rebellion.

“I want to be out there,” you had whispered solemnly.

A breeze rolled through in answer, and you marveled at how the air caressed your cheeks and smoothed unruly strands of hair away from your face.

It had felt so tender and comforting. You froze in shock for only a moment before something spurred you to hurriedly close the window and hide yourself in bed.

If only it had been that easy — the following night proved to be more tempting than the last. You were woken up by a tingling sensation on your lips, and a new feeling altogether.

Something firmly cupped your breast through your nightgown. Or could it simply be your blanket tightened around you from thrashing in your sleep?

Your nipple hardened into a stiff peak, begging to be played with. You kept your eyes firmly shut and blushed at your wanton display, modesty briefly overtaking your lustful urges. Yet try as you might, you could not resist bringing your fingers ever downward. Your nightgown had ridden up to your hips, and as the blanket caressed the sensitized skin of your inner thighs and tightened around your breast, you buried your face in your pillow and gently eased a finger through your slick folds.

Your efforts were clumsy and inexperienced. It was utterly frustrating, your hips canting upward to try to find the right angle and failing miserably at it. Your brows furrowed in anger and concentration, and in your delirious frenzy to reach your peak, you found yourself arching your back into that strange grasp on your breast. A gentle swipe along your hardened nipple elicited a breathy gasp, and the feeling of fingers carding through the hair at your temple made you whimper and tilt your head in search for more.

Something slid along the back of your hand and coaxed it into a new position. Your mouth opened in a wordless cry as you finally hit a perfect spot deep within you. The tingling sensation tickled your lips again, and for some odd reason, you felt compelled to stick your tongue out just a little bit, your breath hitching as something soft and warm glided along the wet muscle.

It should have knocked all sense back into you. It nearly did, if not for your cunt pulsing around your fingers as you moaned and chased the aftershocks of heady pleasure with each roll of your hips. Liquid exhaustion flooded your body, urging you to slump back in relaxation. You had just enough energy to carefully remove your sticky hand from beneath your sheet and lay it on the edge of the bed before sleep overtook you. In the morning, you would find your fingers mysteriously clean.

You kept that night a secret. Overcome with shame and disgust, you could not bring yourself to admit to Father that you had broken your vows once again and strayed from his guidance.

“None will know, and therefore it never happened,” you angrily muttered to yourself as you strutted through the snowy grounds of the garden and tightened your wool cloak around you for warmth. “My sanctity is worth more than my foolish pleasure.” A stray rock caused you to nearly trip, and you had to suck in a deep breath to keep yourself from losing your calm.

The more you distanced yourself from the truth, the more you were drawn into the darkness. You kept your secrets safely guarded, playing the part of a devout sister while your aching loneliness was soothed by the balm of an unseen force that played with your senses.

Sometimes you imagined a glimmer of shifting light at the edge of your periphery, but you dared not look. Not ever. The gentle caresses were more than enough to satiate your desires.

Or so you told yourself.

A winter storm was in full effect tonight. Not a soul dared to prance around the cold corridors, which meant you had no chance of being interrupted by a wayward young initiate or an unruly sister with a penchant for late-night gossiping. You were freshly washed and warmed by the fire, your unbound hair fanned out across your pillow and your nightgown scandalously discarded over the back of your chair.

For the first time in your life, you did not bend the knee to pray before rest. Your heart thudded loudly in your chest as you stared at the golden cross hammered above your doorway, its edges aglow from the light of the fireplace.

“God forgive me,” you quietly uttered, and closed your eyes to banish the cross from your sight.

For a while, all you could hear was the sound of howling wind and crackling fire. You were half-tempted to begin all by yourself, but you had learned to be patient. Your visitor always made itself known when you were tethering on the precipice of sleep. Perhaps the delirium that followed exhaustion played tricks on you. Perhaps that had been the culprit all along.

Either way, you wanted it.

And so you let yourself slip free from anticipation and restlessness, the tension in your muscles dissipating as your breathing gradually slowed and you could no longer hear the wind or fire. All you knew was peace. All you perceived was stillness.

It was quiet. Far too quiet. Something felt different tonight.

You were overcome by the sensation of falling, and your body jerked lightly in response. It roused you from the precipice of slumber, and in your hazy confusion, you had enough common sense to keep your eyes closed. Ever so patient, you waited for what would come next, despite the goosebumps forming on your skin that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the feeling of being watched.

A light weight pressed down onto your chest, as though a kitten had curled up there. You focused on your breathing and parted your lips, allowing your soft sighs to slip through. It always liked when you did that. Your mouth tingled a bit. You slowly licked along your bottom lip, and the weight on your chest became incrementally heavier.

A pulse of wetness gushed out of your cunt in anticipation. You rubbed your thighs together for friction and accidentally bunched your bedsheet at your feet, making it slither down your body to expose your breasts. The cold air caused your nipples to harden, and an even colder puff tickled one nipple before an altogether unique sensation followed — soft and textured, like a velvet ribbon, gliding around the stiff bud and ending its journey with a teasing flick.

You moaned quietly as you gripped the sheets beneath you. This time, something sighed against your mouth, trailing along your tongue and all the way to the back of your throat. Before you could make sense of the new experience, a firmer pressure settled over your lips, far more solid and real than any tantalizing tingle had ever felt.

You were delirious with need. Completely and utterly lost to your impulses, and you hadn’t even touched yourself yet.

Something was kissing you, and you were too far gone to consider the implications. Nevermind that you were in a compromising situation and forsaking your vows to the Lord.

Right now, all that mattered was how rough that touch felt against your lips, how slowly it guided your mouth into a deep kiss that smothered your whimpers and gently sucked at your lips with a lewd wet sound. Velvet glided along your tongue, twining like a serpent and licking every crevice of your mouth. It was overpowering, toe-curling, intoxicating. You were swept away by the myriad of sensations, moaning as your nipple was twisted and pinched, and the hair at your temple was lovingly, tenderly brushed through.

Familiar. You knew that touch. You craved it, and you wanted more. No one had ever made you feel like this before. No one ever would, not within these sacred halls.

What if —

What if you dared to look? Just this once, what if you stepped out from the protective embrace of your religion and just …

As though reading your mind, the firm pressure on your mouth disappeared. You opened your eyes, and forgot to breathe.

God help you.

Scarlet eyes. Redder than blood, oh so familiar in their beauty, yet entirely devoid of life. They burned like hellfire, slashed through by slitted pupils that honed in on you with an unyielding stare.

And the skin. You had never seen anything like it on a living creature, this sickly gray shade among numerous cracks and scars that marred the entity’s torso and face. Your gaze trailed over the strange markings around those serpentine eyes, your stomach churning uneasily as your worst suspicions were confirmed — the striated grooves winded and merged into the graceful arch of a pair of horns that curled back into sharp tapered ends.

You were consorting with a demon.

He looked corrupted, as though his very essence carved its demonic aura into his flesh. In a moment of bewildered hysteria, you honed in on the scars etched into his face, briefly noting that he had a mole just below the corner of his mouth, of all things —

The demon readjusted his position, comfortably resting his weight on top of you as his arms caged your head and his hands cradled your face. His fingers carded through your hair in a mockery of affection, and he smiled at you, all sharp teeth and cracked lips.

You wanted to throw him off of you. You wanted to kick and scream and beg the Lord for forgiveness and protection.

You were frozen in place instead.

[itstittycitybaby]

From the Ashes we are Born (Part 9)

 A/N: First things first if you read this through you are now a sinner sorry I don’t make the rules. Secondly, thank you @lazy-potato-author​ for this request! I hope you enjoy it! I have another request that will be out either this weekend or in the beginning of next weekend, so make sure to keep an eye out for that. After I get these requests out I might take some more it just depends on my schedule. This is a smut fic but V is not railing you in this one, because with a bullet wound it’s just not gonna happen lmao. Also, V is a switch and no you cannot tell me otherwise. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

Warnings: smut, nsfw 18+. Fingering, bit of dirty talk and praise. Enjoy my fellow sinners.

V grunted; one of chancellor’s men had managed to pelt him with a bullet. Thankfully, it didn’t hit anything important but it hurt like hell. V winced when he tried to laugh. The trouble he would be in once he got home to his darling was something he admittedly was looking forward to. Not the scolding, or the lecturing, but being able to see your face again. V’s right hand held tightly over the wound as he hobbled back to the shadow gallery. He couldn’t tell if he was bleeding badly thanks to his attire, but the sharp pain did not ease. It felt hot, like it was burning him. V laughed bitterly which caused him to wheeze. He knew too much about fire and how its unforgiving flames swept over your skin. V cursed himself; he promised he would be more careful from now on. Just a bit of a ways farther, he told himself.

“V!” He jumped at the voice of his love. Your eyes shifted to the hand holding his side as he leaned on the dining table. “Hello there darling,” V wheezed out, wincing. There was a simmer of anger in your eyes as you watched your boyfriend lean on the table for support. Godammit, you thought. He just got home! “V, what happened?” He didn’t say anything as he removed his daggers and hat and placed them on the table. You worried over him like a mother hen which made his heart swell at the thought. Though, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. V grunted, “I think I got shot.” “You think?!” You sighed turning away from your masked boyfriend. “Stay right there I’m getting the first aid kit,” you shouted over you, dashing towards the bathroom. Cursing, you grabbed it from under the sink and hurried to V. His breathing sounded irregular and he was gripping onto the table. The leather gloves were gone and his scarred hands turned white from the pressure he was putting on the edge of the table. The pads of your feet burned from running so fast but you didn’t care. “V I’m gonna need you to sit down.” “I-I can take care of it my darling, y-you...need some rest.” With a heated glare you repeated, “Sit.” V shrunk, which caused another grunt. Gently, you slung your arm around the good part of his torso and led him to a kitchen chair. You set the first aid kit on the table beside the belt of daggers and V’s hat. One layer down. “V..you’re not gonna like this but we’re gonna have to take off your tunic.” Silence. “V,” you said softly. “I need to look at the wound before it gets worse.” He sighed, causing him to curse softly in pain. “Alright, my darling,” he replied. There was a hint of sadness in his tone.

 Giving him a reassuring smile and a kiss on his head, you helped your boyfriend shimmie out of the top. V let out a hiss as the tunic sank onto his wound. “Sorry,” you said sheepishly, being more careful to get him out of the damn thing. The blood made the tunic stick to the wound and really it was just a sticky gross mess in general. A gasp threatened to claw its way out of your throat once you got the tunic off. V’s chest was burned, heavily burned. There were scars littered across it with an angry reddish colour. You swallowed your surprise, though. V was already ashamed and insecure. V’s head was low, refusing to look at you in the eye. Even with his scars, he was still beautiful. “V,” you whispered. “You’re beautiful.��� His head shot up out of surprise. A groan left his lips as a flare of pain flashed him.“Right sorry,” you exclaimed, remembering why the both of you were here in the first place. Grabbing your supplies you knelt down in front of him. “Stay still as best as you can, if you need something to hold onto you can squeeze my shoulder,” you muttered.

You’re beautiful. The pain was sharp but dulled once he kept replaying your words in his head. V was anything but beautiful; he has blood on his hands. His skin was far from beauty. Disgusting. Mortifying. Every time he saw himself in the mirror he couldn’t help but sneer. His angel had to be lying to him. V’s head perked up at the sound of gauze being unwrapped. “After this you should be done,” you said. “Just be careful; we don’t want the stitches to bust, so no moving around without me,”  you softly chided. “You have to be more careful V. I don’t want something bad to happen to you.” He didn’t say anything, just kept trying to focus on the feeling of being patched up. The wound just throbbed now and to his right the bloody bullet lay on the table. “Why do you lie to me, my darling?” The tips of your brows furrowed in confusion as you bandaged him. “What?” “You said I was beautiful, love,” V said softly , “I am many things but I do not have beauty in me.” “Yes, you do. I haven’t been this happy in years, V. You’ve shown me patience and compassion. You look at me like I’m the most perfect thing in the world. Your voice is deep and rich. I love your scars V. They tell a story. Whatever happened was awful and you shouldn’t have gone through that, but,” you said, double checking the gauze you put over his wound. “It shows that you survived something and you’re still here to tell the tale.”  There was a mischievous glint in your eye. Leaning up, you placed a kiss to his chest. V froze; his blood felt cold and underneath the mask his cheeks flushed (thank god you couldn’t see it or you’d tease him relentlessly). V’s breath hitched at the feeling of your soft lips greeting his chest with a kiss.

 You sent him a wink before getting up and putting the supplies away. “After I get back, wanna watch something,” you asked, gesturing your head to the living room. V nodded. He didn’t trust his voice right now. You sent him one last smile before heading into the living room. V was alone with his thoughts again. The only thing he could think about was your soft lips on his horrid skin.

The hot mug of tea warmed his bare hands. The Princess Bride played on the old television. The lights were off, the T.V. gave off a soft glow but other than that the both of you were surrounded in darkness. V’s darling sat comfortably next to him, her eyes glued to the screen. He couldn’t concentrate on the film playing even though he enjoyed it. He felt vulnerable and bare without his tunic. The scarred burns and roughness of his skin was a hard reminder of the torture he endured. Everyday he was reminded of the need for vengeance and the underlying anger beneath his heart. V knew you deserved better; you deserve someone who wasn’t horrid looking or angry. You were kind and loving (albeit a mischievous minx at times), who saw the good in people. Even then, you understood V’d need to restore balance and peace. England needed a new era, it’s people have suffered for too long. Whoever took up that spot was not in his hands but hopefully, he’d be able to rid London of the monsters lurking in the shadows.

V was not paying attention to the movie. Sure, it was your favorite and not his, but he was more attentive. His posture seemed tense and uncomfortable. It made you sad knowing that V thought of himself unworthy and felt insecure. Though, you could hardly blame him. The scars that covered his torso were great in numbers and his skin was angry and raw. It reminded you of the silent rage and danger hidden underneath your boyfriend’s persona. V had never hurt you and he was an amazing lover, but you could feel the hatred. The thought excited you. The anger was quiet but whenever it came out of the shadows, it was violent. Witnessing V in battle was something you always watched in awe. Slowly, you tested the waters. You shifted closer to your masked lover. Very slowly you put your head on V’s bare shoulder. He became rigid and stiff as a board but eventually he sunk into you. V’s head rested on yours; the guy fawkes mask kissing you with its lips. He seemed more relaxed but still alert to your movements as Buttercup tumbled down after Wesley. “They’re so dumb,” you giggled, the bright orange dress Buttercup wore flying behind her as she rolled down the hill. “Sure they may not be the brightest but they’re in love, darling,” V replied smoothly. You snorted, “Of course you’d be seeing the romance of it.” 

He just hummed in reply, holding you closer to him.The end of the movie was nearing. V couldn't stand it any longer. You had snuggled into his side and every so often placed small kisses over his chest. He thanked the heavens for loose fitting breeches because he started feeling a bit warm. V could see the idea formulating in your brain. It made him smirk beneath his mask. A faux innocence you had put on but V knew his darling better than anyone else. You were clever and cunning but V was faster. Gently, V placed his hand on your left thigh. V smiled in victory when he heard your breath hitch. In his peripheral vision he could see your cheeks start to get flustered as you squirmed underneath his grip. V paid no mind though; if you wanted something you would have to ask. It amused him that one little touch seemed to make you compliant. Heavens, the things he wanted to do to you. Patience, he told himself. You weren’t going to give up that easily. After a few minutes with no new tactics, you relaxed once more focusing on the movie. V’s hand didn’t stray further up. Instead it stayed there stubbornly. Once V knew for sure you were focused on the movie, he carefully brought his left hand to his face. With deft fingers he carefully untied the mask and placed it beside him.

 Oddly enough you seemed too transfixed with the movie that you didn’t notice what your scheming boyfriend was up too. The soft glow didn’t show off his features too much, so he wasn’t too worried about you suddenly turning and seeing his face.V waited patiently for a few moments and then he struck. You didn’t really think too much of him shifting around until you felt rough lips kissing your jaw. “V-V,” you asked a bit breathlessly, leaning into his chest to give him better access. V  seemed to know exactly what spots on your neck and jaw were sensitive. How he knew where to softly kiss and nibble was beyond you. Again, V proved to be perfect at doing anything. “Yes, love,” he replied, his lips kissing at the spot where your jaw met your neck. “W-what are you doing?” Your back was pressed up against him and your head laid on his shoulder. You couldn’t see his face; his head was littering your jaw with soft kisses. “Should I stop?” “N-no,” you squeaked out in reply, cheeks turning red. V’s hands trailed down your stomach towards the hem of your shirt. He chuckled at your shyness. His hair tickled your neck lightly.  Slowly, he hiked up your shirt over your breasts. Your nipples hardened as the cool air hit them. The sight made him groan. They were soft and plump. “You’re an angel my darling,” he said huskily. “Look how gorgeous you are.” V’s lips returned to your neck. A whimper escaped your lips as his clever fingers gently circled around your areola on both of your breasts. Your nipples tingled, begging to be touched. Even though your thinking started to stop and everything felt hazy you were careful not to brush up against V’s wound. A madman, you thought. You mewled as his fingers finally started rubbing and pinching your nipples. V’s teeth nipped and sucked at your neck, leaving small red bruises in his wake. 

Your cunt started to throb with need and you fought the urge to grind on his thigh for some sort of release. Suddenly, it stopped. “H-hey!” “Ah ah ah,” V tutted. “Pay attention to the film.” “B-but..” you trailed off helplessly. “Do I need to repeat myself,” V asked, voice growing lower. “If you don’t pay attention I’ll stop.” Grumbling, you turned back to the movie. V chuckled; it sounded more sinister than his usual laugh. The noise alone made you feel tingly with excitement.“Good girl,” V purred, kissing the top of your head. You shivered. V maneuvered you in front of the T.V with his chest behind your back. Immediately, his fingers found your nipples again. You whimpered as they pinched your nipples lightly and rolled them between the pads of his fingers. His lips found your ear and V gently suckled on your lobe. You tried so hard to focus on Buttercup getting married to Prince Humphry. You didn’t want your boyfriend to stop. You wanted to be good. The fogginess in your brain threatened to take over. Heat pooled in your belly and you throbbed with need. V had barely started and you were already putty in his hands. “I love these,” he rumbled, kneading your tits with his hands. “They’re soft and warm just like my darling.” You shivered at his words much to his amusement. “Please V,” you whined. “Please what angel? Use your words.” Your face heated up. “Y-you know w-what I mean.” “I’m afraid not my darling,” he replied. V was grinning behind you as he watched you trip over your words. “Hm,” V said, mockingly pretending to think. His right hand crept down to the waistband of your skirt. Your eyes widened. V’s hand sunk under the waistband of your skirt. His hand hovered over your panties and you held in your breath waiting patiently. Finally, V’s fingers rubbed small circles over your clit over the fabric. “F-fuck,” you breathed out as his index finger added a bit more pressure. 

“What was that,” V asked, movements ceasing. Irritation bubbled in your chest. “Stop teasing me V it’s not fair,” you whined, trying to buck into his hand. V laughed, giving your neck a kiss. “Tell me what you want then, my songbird.” “Can you...use your fingers and…” you trailed off, squirming from his gaze. “Oh my darling, but I am using my fingers, but apparently that’s not enough.” “V!” “Alright alright my love, I just enjoy seeing you flustered.” V’s fingers shifted your panties aside. Gently, he spread apart your cunt. You moaned as his finger rubbed gentle circles around your clit. He knows what he’s doing. It didn’t surprise you, V was spectacular in everything he did. All thoughts ceased when V’s middle finger entered you. It stung a bit but he carefully searched for that spot. And when he found it, that’s when you lurched backward into him. V grunted in pain. “Oh my god I’m so sorry! Did I accidentally-” “Darling,” he interrupted, “I’m fine, relax.” The fingers on your left hand held the arm of the couch tightly to steady yourself more. You eyes rolled in the back of your head as V’s clever fingers curled into you, the pads of his fingers hitting that spot perfectly. The pressure on your clit didn’t cease either;you weren’t focusing on the damn movie anymore but V didn’t seem to care. He littered your neck with more kisses and bites. “Fuck,” you cried out as he added another finger. “My angel is taking my fingers so well,” V cooed. 

His thumb on your clit rubbed a bit more harshly, but it felt so good. “I wonder how you’ll react to my cock. But that’s for another time.” His left hand snuck up to your left nipple again and started messing with it. Your moans filled the room and you thanked god for being so underground. V’s lips found yours, but with the pressure on your clit and his fingers rolling over your nipples you struggled kissing him back. V chuckled at this, snaking his tongue around yours and exploring your mouth with it. V’s fingers brushed against your clit and that delicious spot one more time, causing you to cum. V’s left arm curled around your stomach, making sure you wouldn’t fall. You trembled in his hold as your orgasm started to take over. V whispered praises and supported you on his lap. V’s hand left your cunt and fixed your underwear and skirt again. “You did wonderfully my darling,” V praised. Your bones felt heavy and so did your eyes. “Are you well enough to get up,” he asked gently after a few minutes. Nodding your head, you carefully slid off. To his surprise, however, you knelt in front of him, parting his thighs. “Love-” “Shh,” you cooed, eyes twinkling with mischief. “It’s your turn, my darling.”

[palladiumfragments]

November moons came with thorns in her light and I am left with no choice but to keep the windows shut. What a desolate place this room has been. The walls are closing in more often. Delusion seems to be living in every surface it could find, causing monsters I’ve once defeated to rise from their dormant ashes. My blanket is my only source of comfort for weeks, but even it cannot protect me from them. My bed has grown unfriendly in her absence that everyday I slip further away from sleep. Perhaps, this is the moon’s punishment for glorifying my woes too much.

So tonight, I will send my muses away to collect stray daylights to ward off the cruelty of nightfall. There will be no setting words on fire. I will let them reduce into echoes instead― so they could answer only to those who call them. There will be no ink-stained hands fumbling in the dark, searching for the prettiest metaphors to offer, for I will have them for myself. And the gods can have my raw, mortality-stained words. I will deny the clouds of purple poems and honeyed proses, and they will weep and weep until the earth is bathed anew.

Tonight; no ink spills shall befall these pristine pages, no howls will be caught in the crawling branches, no unsung ghosts will haunt cathedral walls, and the moon will witness no lakeside poet. Tonight, in silence, the knife will rest calmly against my throat.

― autumn artemis, Apology to November’s Moon

[thehouseoflamentation]

Everyday we stray further from god’s light...jk jk

I said I was ok with most nsfw and now I’m gonna live up to that claim so here we go!!!

Btw I checked Bad Dragon’s website and they actually have a model called “Demon Dick” so uhh….yeah….

For some reason “keep reading” was messing with the format so I had to repost this. I didn’t include any pictures but I did include links to what I think the boys might look like down there based on the models they had so proceed at your own risk!!

(Side note: I only had shape in mind while I was choosing these bc some of those colors really be wild. Also I’d like to imagine they’re all “extra large” sized)

Lucifer - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/axel)

That night, Lucifer called you into his room for a little “chat.” What was supposed to be a discussion of the student exchange program quickly escalated into something else as you found yourself unable to pull away from his lips as he trapped you in his embrace. It wasn’t long before he moved to the bed, sat down, and shifted his legs apart making it very clear what he wanted next. Now you were on your knees frantically trying to undo Lucifer’s belt while he looked down at you, smirking at how needy you’ve become. After pulling his trousers down to his ankles you made quick work of his boxers moving them down just as eagerly until....you saw it. You thought that since Lucifer looked mostly human the rest of him would look human as well but you were wrong. Not only was he longer and thicker than anything you’ve seen before but his shape was also…well...unique. After staring at it for a good few seconds he moved your face closer by gently nudging your head forward. The action only made you jolt and scoot a good three feet back.

“Lucifer, I love you but I’m not putting that anywhere near my mouth” you say as you slowly take a step back.

“And why is that? Too big for a human?” his eyebrows furrowed as you took another step.

“Too big f- YOUR DICK IS THICKER THAN A SODA CAN DO YOU WANT ME TO CHOKE???”

“......”

He stayed silent as he watched you slip out of his room, too shocked and embarrassed by your response to go after you. He didn’t think being “too big” was ever going to be a problem for him until now.

Mammon - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/crackers)

Even though he had his own room Mammon insisted on staying in your room again, going on about how it was an “honor” to have him sleep over. You were starting to get tired of his little act so you decided to shut him up with a kiss. To your credit it did work for a good two seconds before he retaliated by pulling you into a kiss on his own. Soon your hands started to wander up his shirt and while he shivered at your touch he followed your lead and did the same. The kiss was messy but full of passion. Once you pulled apart Mammon carried you over to your bed, plopping you down onto the sheets as he fell on top of you. You knew exactly where this was going so you started to strip once you landed on the sheets. After you threw your clothes to the side you started helping Mammon with his belt. He kicked his pants off then his boxers and as you looked down you almost couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He was definitely bigger than a human and the bumps and ridges along his shaft didn’t seem like they were going to make it any easier for you to take him in. Mammon started to get embarrassed from your staring his skin turning a dark shade of red.

“Quit starin at me like that! W-What are you tryna say I’m small or something cus I’m no-”

“Oh you are anything but small Mammon. Quite the opposite actually. I just...I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m out...”

“What do you mean you’re out? This is your room where are you going??”

That night you stayed in Mammon’s room while he was left to contemplate his life in your room. Well at least you thought he was big so that’s….partially a win right?

Leviathan - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/lenneth)

That night, Leviathan invited you over to read some new manga he got from Akuzon. It received a lot of hype before its release so he was looking forward to reading it with you. When you stepped into his room he handed you a copy of the latest volume in the series and let you sit on his bed while he plopped himself into a bean bag. You laid on your stomach turning page after page but after a while you noticed a pair of eyes spying on you as you rested on the sheets. Levi kept peeking up from his book to take glances at you so you shot him a glance and a smile back making him look away in embarrassment. Deciding the manga could wait, you made your way over to Levi, gently moving the book out of his hands to lean in for a kiss. He was shy but he didn’t seem to resist as he let his hands comb through your hair and wander down your back. Wanting to speed things up you crouched down between his legs and undid his belt and pants zipper before palming him through his boxers. Levi shuddered at the contact but froze completely when you pulled down his boxers altogether. Aside from his impressive size the shape of his cock was definitely different from a human’s.

“Levi...you uhhh-”

“I know”

“It’s umm...”

“Yeah”

“It looks-”

“I GET IT!!!! IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING YOU’D SEE FROM A HENTAI NOW STOP STARING!!!!!”

Both of you sat there for a moment trying to diffuse the awkward situation until you decided to break the silence. “Well it’s still not as bad as tentacles right?”

You were forcibly removed from Levi’s room.

Satan - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/fenrir)

You had a test coming up soon and luckily Satan was generous enough to help you study for it. The both of you were seated in the farthest corner of the library to avoid any noise or disturbances from the other visitors. You were able to make great progress with his help but after three hours of cramming you needed a break. Since the two of you were alone with pretty much no one else around to see or hear your shenanigans, you decided to see just how far you could push the demon sitting beside you. Your eyes were trained on your textbook but your hand slipped under the table stroking Satan’s thigh slowly before moving up between his legs. Normally he would have protested by now but it seems that Satan was just as in need of a break as you were. He shifted closer to you making it easier to undo his belt and zipper. You stroked him through his boxers for a bit before pulling them down to his thighs to get a good look at what was underneath. You almost did a double take once you noticed not only the ungodly size of his dick but also the curves and ridges around his head and shaft. Without a word you slid his boxers back up, zipped his pants, and buckled his belt before turning back to the book you left on the table and pretending you saw nothing, unwilling to even look Satan in the eyes after what you just saw.

“Uhhh why did you jus-”

“Wow! This question is pretty hard what did you get for number six again?”

“MC you didn’t answer my-”

“Were we supposed to read pages 134 to 145 or was it 150 to 166?”

“MC!!!!!”

“Shhhh! Satan we’re in a library it's rude to yell”

This went on for a while until the two of you eventually went back to studying, forgetting the events that previously unfolded.

Asmodeus - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/spritz)

You and Asmo had the day off so you spent it at the mall. After getting your hair and nails done at a salon the two of you went to Majolish to find some new outfits. You searched through racks of clothing until your cart was full but before you could buy anything you had to make sure they fit first. As you brought your clothes into the dressing room you pulled on the door but before it could shut you felt a hand stop it mid-swing, preventing it from closing. It was Asmo. He held his pointer finger against his lips to quiet you before slipping into the cramped stall with you. “Today’s been great and all MC but how about we make it even better?” his warm breath tickled your ear as he whispered but that didn’t stop you from nodding in agreement with his desires. There was a chance someone could spot you so you both tried to speed things up before someone noticed. You removed your shirt and guided Asmo’s hands back to your chest letting him play with your nipples while you palmed him through his pants. Neither of you could wait any longer so you got on your knees and started removing his pants and boxers. You were prepared to fuck but you weren’t prepared to see....that. For the Avatar of Lust his cock was certainly intimidating in both size and shape. It wasn’t quite human in appearance either which was pretty evident at first glance.

“Alright MC now just- hey wait! Where are you going?? MC?!?!!”

Before you could even think about how to fit his cock inside of you, you grabbed your shirt, slipped it back on, and sprint-walked out of the dressing room as quickly and quietly as you could, leaving Asmo behind.

Beelzebub - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/clayton)

There was no doubt about it. Beelzebub was one of the biggest and strongest among the brothers but you wanted to see for yourself just how “big” he could really get. After dinner that night, you slipped into Beel’s room with a bowl of ice cream you snuck from the kitchen. You offered to give him some with the condition that you got to feed him. Needless to say he agreed and was honestly enjoying himself until you “accidentally” shifted causing the bowl to slip out of your hands and the ice cream to spill onto your chest and shirt. Beel looked sad for a second because of his ice cream but after seeing the smirk that was slowly spreading across your face he soon understood everything. “You were planning this weren’t you?” Your smirk only grew larger once you heard those words. “Well since my shirt is dirty I might as well take it off~” you lifted your shirt over your head and threw it into the corner of the room leaving your chest exposed, some melted ice cream still dripping down your skin. Beel licked his lips before leaning in to taste you, letting his tongue roam over every curve. Before he moved down between your legs you decided you wanted to get a taste of him too so you pushed him onto his back and started undoing his belt and zipper before eagerly sliding down his pants and boxers. Your jaw almost hit the floor. You knew he was big but this? This was insane!! You couldn’t even wrap your hand around his shaft completely!!! And as if his size wasn’t intimidating enough he also had bumps and ridges along the sides of his cock too!! Your body was ready to nope the fuck out of there so without thinking you slipped your stained shirt back on and found yourself ready to exit Beel’s room, hand already on the door knob.

“Uhh MC? Where are you going? I’m right here!” Beel was still on his back confused as all heck.

“I’m just….gonna get you a replacement ice cream I’ll be back...”

Once you shut the door Beel could have sworn he heard the sound of sprinting. He didn’t see you for the rest of the night but he did find a bowl of ice cream at his doorstep.

Belphegor - (https://bad-dragon.com/products/sleipnir)

You knew Belphegor hated being woken up more than anything but you hoped that he would make an exception just this once. He didn’t seem opposed to sharing the bed either out of fondness for you or from being too tired to care. You curled yourself around him, nuzzling his back while your hands slowly traveled up his shirt. Your fingers eventually worked their way up to play with his chest and nipples. Belphegor couldn’t ignore your presence anymore so instead he was going to make sure you made it worth his time. He rolled over onto his back and positioned you so you would be on top of him. Belphegor wasn’t usually the type to rush sex but he was exhausted after going through classes that day and the fact that you woke him up wasn’t exactly a good thing either. Not wanting to waste much time he grabbed your waist and started grinding against you only stopping for a moment to remove his pants and boxers. You were about to lower yourself onto him until you noticed just how big he was. His length and girth were above that of a human, not to mention he had a number of bumps and ridges along his shaft. There was no way you were about to impale yourself on that so instead you rolled off of him and wrapped yourself in a blanket burrito with your face turned away from him.

“Y’know Belphie it's late, your tired, I’m tired, maybe we should just go sleep RIGHT NOW ”

“Wha- after you spent all that time trying to-mMPH!!” you threw a pillow at his face denying him the chance to finish his sentence.

“CAN’T HEAR YOU I’M SLEEPING!!!!”

Belphie was confused and irritated that you riled him up for nothing but at least he could sleep now.

[coraskeeper]

⇝ mha characters as things conversed about in my gc:

⇝ ft: random mha characters

⇝ an: also, hawks is straight lightskin tell me im wrong

⇝ wc: 1.7k

⇝ warnings: the n-word, if you ain’t black don’t say it kisses <3.

text 1:

mina: i think the mental hospital is missing a patient

denki: bruh dont send me back there, the food nasty and the nurses gotta watch me shower

text 2:

twice: lord save us

toga: everyday we stray further away from his light

dabi: yall still straying? its dark where im at

shiggy: nah the lord loves me, due to the massive intake of aizawas cum i consume

dabi: maam.. that is not gods light you’re seeing, the devil is shining his flashlight in your face WAKE UP

text 2:

iida: god ill be good i swear, just take him away

todoroki: got the same kinda energy as them niggas who simp for all might

iida: you give me all might and endevor threesome vibes

deku; bro i dont wanna fuck a whale, just a man several years older than me

text 3:

momo: nah id lick todorokis burn

jirou: i dunno id fuck iida

mina: iida is probably one of them all lives matter muhfuckas

jirou: sure, iida’s a bootliker we’ve all established that

jirou: but you dont have to talk to eat the box

text 5:

shiggy: *inserts random pic of aizawa*

shiggy: he so fine id let him put it in my butt

toga: ms girl.. i think you should not

dabi: nah, he gives me “ damn it’s a lot of them blacks outside” vibes

text 6:

mina: can all yall hoes go to bed

denki: cant shaving my balls

bakugo: thinking about kiri spitting on me

bakugo: fuck

bakugo: why does this always happen to me bruh

sero: bro???

kiri: 😏

text 7:

miruko: yall ever just think about if you get railed by hawks, what if he just like- coughs up bird pellets on you?

hawks: restraining order.

text 8:

aiziawa: babe, what you fixing for dinner tonight

mic: this coochie

all might: why you gotta make coochie for dinner, why cant you just serve that bitch on a platter

aizawa: babe PLEASE its been days since ive eaten real food i-

mic: YOU BETTER COME FIX YOU A PLATE OF THIS PUNANI

text 9:

miruko: not ken thinking we dont know he over there wit dem whyte folk

mina: porch monkey get back herrr

rock lock: bro mind ya business, thats my wife-

miruko: go finish peeling her corn ni**er

mina: FOUL

deku: uhm

enji: 🧑🏿‍🌾🧑🏿‍🌾🧑🏿‍🌾🧑🏿‍🌾

hawks: enji calm down

hawks: take your vitamins

rocklock: how’d he even get in here i-

tags: @aizawaskittenwhore @katsmommy

[circuscarnage]

Picture Perfect.

Hello! I saw a picture of Rooks room and get inspired to write a yandere fanfic. Sorry if he seems out of character, I haven't written for him since the game released. I’ve also been wanting to try my hand at writing a yandere fic for a while so I hope you enjoy. 

TW: Stalking. A lot of stalking.

Words: 2755.

Potions wasn't exactly a subject that you excelled at. It wasn't that you were bad at it... you just had trouble getting your head around the instructions. It's not everyday you are flung through a magical portal and expected to partake in activities meant for trained wizards who have been here for more than five seconds. So a little struggling here and there was to be expected. But to completely mess up and almost set half the school on fire? That was a new record of stupidity, even for you. 

Divus was not impressed. The way he lightly tapped his cane over his crossed arms was enough of an indication. He was just about to teach this stray puppy some discipline. But thankfully for you, someone came to your hour of need. And that someone came in the form of the boisterous Rook Hunt. Sweet talking his way into your conversation seamlessly and rescuing this poor soul from punishment.

"Monsieur Crewel," He started. "You must forgive our petite colombe, they are not accustomed to this world, and still have much to learn." He placed his hands gently on your shoulders, firmly keeping you in place. "May I suggest some personally tutoring? After all, who better the guide this innocent creature through the hurdles of life than yours truly?"

So it was settled. Instead of being placed with a heavy detention, Rook would be you personal tutor. Helping recover your grades and ensuring that you never repeat your little mistake ever again. You both agreed to meet in the Pomefiore dormitory, where he would escort you to his room in order to study. 

As expected from Pomefiore, their rooms were nothing short of elegant. The room was quite grand. Cream coloured walls lined with gold coating the exterior, giving the room a very regal vibe. They had the same satin sheets that matches perfectly with their uniform. And the bed canopy above only added an extra layer of elegance. The stained glass window embedded in the wall illuminated a section of the room with rainbow light. He even had his hunting equipment decorated on the wall. His trusty hunting bows seeming as casual as a family picture. It looked extremely glamorous, and extremely expensive. 

You kept your books clutched to your chest as he invited you further into the room. "Thank you again, Rook. Without your help, there's no doubt Crewel would make me do one of his impossible tasks." You turned to face him. "How were you able to persuade him so easily?" 

Rook smiled, closing the door behind him. "We share an eye for the divine. Fashion and beauty come second nature to us. I am also one of his top students. He places his trust in me to guide his little 'puppies' in the right direction." Rook laughed, finding it endearing that Divus saw himself as a trainer, rather than a teacher. He walked himself over to his desk, pulling out the chair, and gestured you to sit down. You placed your belongings on the table and sat down, thanking him. 

Before you started, Rook removed his hat, and went to place it on the stand. "Let's start with the basics, shall we? Firstly-" Rook suddenly stopped mid-sentence. He stared off into the distance, thinking for a moment. His hat still sitting firmly in his hand, before he finally placed it down. He checked his pockets, patting them down gently at first, but then becoming a tad more frantic. He patted down his jacket as well, as if he was missing something. He breathed out a smile. "Ah... sacre bleu..." 

"Is everything okay?" You queried, quirking your brow at him. It was unlike Rook to be disorganised. He always knew where everything was, so seeing him in a state of surprise was a first. Rook met your gaze again, giving you an apologetic smile before speaking. "You must forgive me, petite colombe. It seems I may have left something important in Monsieur Crewel's classroom. I hate to leave at such short notice, but I must retrieve this item of mine."

"It's alright." You reassured him. There was plenty of times where you had left something behind, it was perfectly understandable. "Take your time. I can go over some notes by myself if you want?" Rook clapped his hands together happily. Expressing his delight to your sedulous mind. "Tres bein! Such a diligent student. So eager to learn, yet has trouble expressing so. Like a flower yet to bloom yo-"

"Rook. Go." You ushered him out of the room with a smile. If you hadn't stepped in, he would have continued his rant on beauty for the rest of the day.

As Rook left the room to retrieve said item, you opened your book to a random page and started to reread over your notes. At least this way, you wouldn't bore yourself to death waiting for him to come back. Might as well do something productive. Before long, your eyes started to get tired. Without Rook being here to help you, it felt strange being in his room, like you weren't supposed to be there. Some time had already passed yet he hadn't returned. You sighed, leaning back in the chair. Whatever he misplaced must have been important. Not wanting the boredom to consume you whole, you searched the room for something to do.

Without a doubt, the hat on the stand had caught your attention. You stared at it, resisting the temptation to try it on. Just as you reached out your hand, you quickly retreated it back. Another time, you thought. Today was a day of no distractions. You were going to do work, and Rook was going to help... whenever he came back. Given the unpredictability of Rook, who knows how long he would take. He had left his phone in his room, so there was no way to contact him. Sitting back down in the chair, you let out a heavy sigh.

That's when you saw it. Hidden away in the very corner of the room. Something that was slightly off.  A stray corner of wallpaper was peeling off the side of the wall. It was only a small section, easily overlooked by anyone who passed by. But for someone who was obviously looking for something, it wasn't hard to miss. Rook didn't seem like the type of person to allow his room to fall into a state of disarray. Suffice to say, it caught you off guard. 

Something about how that one corner was different was completely throwing off your concentration. There was no way you would be able to focus with something that distracting in the back of your mind. It was decided, in order to gain a better working environment, something needed to be done.

You stood up from your seat and made your way over to the bed, removing your shoes before carefully stepping on top of the satin sheets. They sank under your weight, making you briefly loose your footing, but you manged to make it to the wall without falling over. The Pomefiore dorm really went all out with the bedding. Soft and smooth to the touch, yet emitting a sort of poisonous aura. It dragged you in, insisting for you to lie down. As if someone could lie in peaceful slumber, forever in a death like state.

You shook those thoughts from your head. Now was not the time to think about that, there was a wall in desperate need of fixing! Standing up on your tip toes, your hand glided up the wall to secure the loose wallpaper. Just before you sealed up the wall, something else caught your attention. There was something behind the plaster. A corner of a white scrap of paper was peaking out from behind it. Why the heck was there something behind the wall? Was it something that he didn't want others to see?

You looked towards the door, seeing that Rook hadn't come back yet. What was taking him so long? His lengthened disappearance might as well be a blessing at this point, considering the blatant curiosity that festered inside you was starting to eat away at your moral compass. It is awfully rude to look at someones personal things without asking, but it was basically staring you right in the face, begging to be looked at. Surely, it wouldn't hurt to take a small peek, would it? No longer being able to subside the pestering need to be nosy, you peeled back a little more of the plaster, surprised at how easy it came off. 

There was no denying the cold feeling that started to creep it's way up your spine. Slow and sultry, like someone trailing their fingers up your back. What you had expected to be a simple joke to be laughed it, turned out to be much darker then you could have ever dreamed. You couldn't believe what you were looking at, blinding rapidly, praying that it was just a trick of the eye. But every time you opened your eyes, there it was, staring back at you. That's when you noticed that there wasn't only one. Another corner peeked out. 

In a marvellous flourish of motion, you quickly tore the wall paper off, revealing an entire collage of horror behind a thin wall of plaster. There was more of them. Completely covering the back wall. But these weren't pieces of paper. These were pictures. 

Pictures of you.

How Rook was able to capture them without you knowing baffled you. He had taken shots from all angles, close up and distant, capturing every moment perfectly. You studied the pictures closer, being able to remember the exact date of when they were taken. One was from the day you were having lunch outside with your friends, smiling and laughing in ignorant bliss, unaware of the danger that lurked just beyond your line of sight. Another was from one of your walks, going around Night Raven campus without a second thought. Enjoying the peaceful scenery away from the usual chaos. Oh my god. He even managed to snap a shot of you while you were asleep.

Your hands instinctively slammed on the wall as you felt your body lurch forward, suddenly feeling very disorientated, and extremely unsafe. Rook could be somewhat of a stalker at times, but this was just too far. The little games he would play with the other students were nothing more than playful motions, they never borderline on obsession. So why. Why this? Why now? And most importantly, why you?

"Beautiful, is it not?"

Hearing those words broke you from your bystander state and placed you back within the clutches of the predator. You completely froze. Standing still on his bed, not even being able to look him in the eyes. You knew that you were in the wrong by snooping through his things. But if you knew what was in store, you wouldn't have done it. Discomfort radiated off you rapidly, filling the room with unimaginable dread. Neither of you said anything for a moment. But when Rook spoke, it shot through you like an arrow.

"My collection." His voice had gotten louder. He was much closer than before. On the side of the bed just behind you. You didn't even know he moved. "I've travelled my entire life and seen beauty in all it's shapes and forms. The Savanaclaw students are beast-men, their animalistic instincts interest me greatly. The students at this academy are all so distinct with their unique magic. But you." The way he spoke, letting you linger on every word he said, unsettled you greatly. "You had your own beauty in being simple. Standing out because you blend in with the background. A simple buttercup in a world of exotic flowers. It's a wonder how you managed to catch my eye, more so than that of Roi de Poison." He placed his gloved finger to his chin, taking a moment to think about his next words. "You have a certain... Je ne sais pas... Vulnerability. Something that a hunter like myself can't resist..."

As he said that, he reached out his hand, gently twisting it around your wrist. You shuddered at his touch, not wanting to be here anymore. Whatever was going on, you wanted no part in it. You wish you never saw this. Wanting nothing more than to rewind time and remain oblivious to his obsessive actions. That would be better. Going about life without knowing of the danger that was always three steps behind. 

Plucking up the little courage you had, cautiously you turned to face him. You expected to see him looking at you with a sour expression. But he didn't. He didn't look angry. Why didn't he look angry? You just exposed him for stalking. Someone in their right mind should have at least changed their expression, or do something. But Rook didn't. He just continued to smile at you as he always did. As if nothing was wrong. You looked back to the pictures, and then to him. His timing was too perfect. Leaving suddenly and then catching you in the act. Leaving you bored and in need to do something. He didn't plan this... Did he?

"Did..." It was hard trying to conceal the fear in your voice. Still uneven and shaking from the realisation. "...Did you want me to find this?" Your voice was only just above a whisper, yet Rook heard it clear as day. His keen eyes picking up the slightest of sounds. He clapped his hands together happily. "Tres Bien! As expected of my petite colombe, you were able to find the clues and uncover the mystery. Your beauty surely knows no bounds. All good hunters know how to cover their tracks and remain undetected. I wouldn't let something like a stray piece of paper cause my undoing." His eyes flickered to wall, scanning over the pictures once again. It was clear that he was proud to own such a collection, but his gaze never stayed focused on them for long. Too soon his eyes would return to grace upon your features, taking them in intensely. "Even though I was able to capture your beauty within these images, it can never compare to the real thing. A replication of a painting is worthless compared to the original. That's why I had to have you."

Gently he began to pull you towards him. You tried to fight back. Squirming under his touch, hoping to be let free. But no matter how much you wriggled, how much you battered your fist against his arm, or how much you protested, he was easily able to seal you in his arms. He didn't even flinch. Being able to pull you in with one wave of his hand, like it was nothing. He only chuckled in response. There was no where for you to run, you both knew that. You had accidentally cornered yourself standing on his bed. You considered making a break for it. But then you remembered how fast Rook could be. It was sometimes scary watching him in PE, being able to easily sprint past Savanaclaw members without breaking a sweat. There was no way you would be able to outrun him. Not like you could run anyway, being clutched to his chest. Smothered in unrequited love.

All thoughts of escape fled your mind as his grip tightened. Digging his gloved fingers into your skin without breaking his smile. He was enjoying this. Having you be at his mercy. It was like being a rabbit surrounded by traps. One wrong move and something would end up broken. With a delighted expression, he tilted your chin upwards, forcing you to make eye contact with him. Half-lidded emerald eyes that sparked with delusional longing. "I want to capture that look of your face forever. Belated innocence... Such a pretty face would be wasted on those who can't appreciate it's beauty. My heart pulsated with admiration. You've completely captured my heart. My mind, body, and soul sing for your embrace. Every action I have taken has been in your name. And every action I shall take will be laced with your image. Won't you be my personal muse?"

[yuzukult]

under the moonlight || junmyeon & reader

title: under the moonlight pairing: junmyeon/suho x reader  genre: ceo!reader, hint of soulmate!au, slow-burn words: 8.4k notes: continuation to [city lights]’s junmyeon, journey to him healing his own heart after letting go of his first love for her to be with his best friend who so happens to be her soulmate (chanyeol) // did this because junmyeon deserves some love & also may be a second part + will profread when i get the chance!!

part one || final

Though the living room was filled with laughter and yelling from drinking games, Junmyeon’s attention was locked on the girl of his dreams who stands in the kitchen in the arms of her soulmate, face snuggled into his chest while mumbling a ‘thank you’ for the surprise birthday party that he’d planned for her. In response, he lets out a chuckle as he places a delicate kiss onto her forehead.

Junmyeon knew it would’ve been selfish if he neglected Chanyeol’s wishes when he barged into his bedroom of their shared apartment, hair disheveled with a stressed look washed over his face. “I can’t do this anymore, I need to be with her. She’s all I think about, night and day. I haven’t even had a real conversation with her yet I know everything about her... and I love but hate everything about her because she makes me feel like I can’t live unless it’s with her.” He was aware that the younger male was going through the side-effects of refusing a relationship with his designated soulmate, evidently on the brink of detonation. It was time to let her go, no matter how much he loved her. She belonged to Chanyeol. 

The moment Junmyeon picked up the phone to ask Chanyeol to check up on her while on his business trip, he sensed over the phone Chanyeol’s wariness at the sight of the girl’s frame in bed, shivering from a fever. It was that very second it became clear to him that Chanyeol was biologically her soulmate, someone she could never let go even if she tried. Both of their dreams would be flooded with the thoughts of each other, sleepwalking mid-day to meet unconsciously, and yearning for the embrace of one another though far apart.

Goodbyes were rough. But the goodbye with her especially was the worst. 

Telling her that she wasn’t made for him and that they couldn’t be together while her eyes were brimming with tears was the hardest moment of his life. Breaking the heart of the woman he still loved was never in his plans. But Chanyeol was his best friend and watching him deteriorate day by day was just as painful for himself. 

So he sacrificed his love so that they could be together.

“Junmyeon, you don’t know how much it means to me that you came.” She says, voice soft. They’re standing in the corner of the living room, separated from the group just enough to hear the other speak. “I know how uncomfortable it must be for—”

“Don’t say that.” He interjects, adjusting the black beanie that sits on his head. “I meant what I said that day months ago. Just because we aren’t together like that doesn’t mean I won’t be in your life anymore. You were more than just a girl I dated, I loved you.”

He lied. He still loves her. But he’d never say that.

She’s chewing on her bottom lip, hair cut shorter from their last exchange that strays fall out from the hair-tie and over her face. He wishes he could push it away and behind her ear but that’s crossing the line.

“I loved you too, Junmyeon. You know that.”

“But you love Chanyeol now.” He adds, grabbing his jacket off the coat rack. Junmyeon was ending his night earlier than the rest, claiming that he wasn’t feeling too well from having to wake up early and sleeping later for an assignment at work when really he couldn’t bear to watch the two of them together for long, his heart still healing. “And I’m happy that it’s working out.”

His first love stands there for a moment, silent, despite the sounds coming from the main area as she walks him toward the front door. “Why are you so quiet?” Junmyeon questions, raising a brow.

“Chanyeol and I talked about the topic of marriage.”

Marriage. He hasn’t even fully recovered from the break-up yet and she’s already moved on entirely. 

“But... I’m not ready. I still think of you.” The words would have been more comforting if it resulted with her in his arms instead.

“We both need to move on.” He sighs, one hand on the doorknob and his heart still in hers. “It’s going to take some time but it’ll be worth it in the end. The torture from being without him will stop.”

“How did you know?”

“Know about what?”

“That I had those side effects. I never told you about it.”

Junmyeon sighs, finally turning the handle to open the door. “You started looking more and more tired each day and you complained about it often. So I did some research to see what was wrong. It’s a side effect from denying your soulmate.”

Forcing himself into work everyday was hard.

After spending so much time with his first love, she was close to convincing him to drop his day job for a career in music. Working in a corporate office was gnawing on him alive, not to mention how unbearably stiff the suits were while he sat at his office for over 8 hours a day.

“Hey,” Someone says. Her voice is tender and calm, capturing his attention. “Junmyeon, right?” You were peeking your head into his cubicle, too short to completely reach over the walls.

You were the CEO of the company he worked at, the founder of a skincare line that you developed the formulas on your own with hands-on operations and testing, utilizing your degree received after University where you studied in the States. He’d only been part of the business team for a short period of time and hadn’t even gotten to meet you yet, despite how heavily involved you were on the floor.

“Yes, I’m Junmyeon,” He says quickly, breaking his gaze before standing up, bowing and extending his hand for a shake. “Sorry about that. Wasn’t expecting to see you.” You repeat his actions and if he didn’t know any better, he’d think you were mocking him.

“Sorry, it’s okay. I came unannounced. Should’ve probably called or something right?” You ask, scratching the back of your head agonizingly, slightly unsure how to act in social situations. “I just thought I could stop by to talk to you.”

“I’m available to talk. Something wrong?”

Straightening the pencil skirt that hugs your lower half, you grin cheekily at him. “I’ve been going around lately, trying to understand the jobs of the people who work here. We’ve been doing so well that I wanted to meet the people who were extremely involved in the impact. Would you like to go out for lunch with me?”

Blinking blankly, Junmyeon is taken aback. You— the woman ran an entire company with products on the shelves of huge department stores to high end private shops just for the elite to take him out to lunch?

He glances over at his lunch bag that sits on the corner of the desk, pausing for a moment. And almost as if you read his mind, you say, “We could always put it in the fridge for tomorrow. Come. Let me take you out for lunch, Junmyeon. Company’s treat!”

Dropping by your office before making way out, you snatch the jacket off the back of your office chair, slinging it over your shoulders.

Junmyeon just stands in the doorway entering in, leery about coming in any further. Despite you being the one asking him to tag along, he still felt the invisible wall between the two of you, a CEO and just some guy in the business department.

Your office was massive— the windows were stretched from corner to corner, ceiling to floor, with a view of the city that was breathtaking. On the opposite side had a glass wall, seeing out to the rest of the floor where employees work, but oddly enough you never had the blinds of it opened.

“Why are you standing there so awkwardly?” You chuckle, grabbing your wallet, phone and keys from the top of your desk. “You know that you can come in here, right? I don’t bite.”

“Sorry,” he mutters, rubbing his nape anxiously. “Just kind of feels like I don’t belong here.”

You roll your eyes, walking toward him and out the room as he follows, closing the door behind. “Junmyeon, you’re always welcomed in my office. Any problems you have are mine as well. Don’t hesitate to talk to me about anything, I own an entire company for God’s sake! I would do anything I can to help a fellow employee.”

In his department, you had a reputation. Men thought you were hot— so attractive that whenever you’d walk by and greet everyone on your way to your office, they’d drool, eyes never leaving your bare legs or bottom. Women were more of a split category; some resented you for gaining the attention of men so easily, others admire your hard work and ambitions, yet trying very hard to accommodate any of the employees’ issues personally. It was hard to please everyone.

“Johnny,” You call out your assistant, his desk sitting several feet outside of your office. “I’m having lunch with Junmyeon today.”

Johnny is a skyscraper. But when he’s sitting down, he seems so small next to you, almost like a little grocery store in the corner of the block of a big city while at his desk.

“So you’re ditching Eunwoo today?”

“Never said I agreed to having lunch with him. If he comes, just say I left. I’m having lunch with Junmyeon.”

Leaning back in his seat, he has his arms crossed against his chest, squinting at you. Junmyeon always questioned the relations between you and Johnny, but after observing the entire conversation, it seems like he’s just a concerned friend. Most likely why you keep him around.

“Should I say you’re having lunch with Junmyeon? Might piss Eunwoo off.” He says, gesturing toward Junmyeon when he says his name.

“Why are you trying to piss him off? I said I was over it.” You click your tongue, waving off Johnny in dismissal afterwards. “Whatever, I said I’m leaving. See you after lunch.”

“You’re probably wondering who Eunwoo is,” You unlock the doors of your car, opening the drivers side when Junmyeon stops in his tracks. “He’s my ex.”

“Wait— you’re driving?”

“Yeah, how else would we get there?” Sliding into the driver’s seat, he hesitates for a moment before following into the passenger side.

“Just didn’t think you’d be driving.” Junmyeon responds, putting on his seatbelt over his body. “Were you supposed to meet with your ex today?”

“He assumed.” Pressing the start button, the engine of the Audi roars, a sweet sound to any car enthusiast’s ears.

“You don’t think I drive?”

“More like... I thought you had a driver.”

You shake your head, pulling out of the garage of the company’s building, driving in the direction of a restaurant he’s not familiar with.

“Where are we going?”

“Pick: a five star restaurant or a restaurant that deserves it?”

“The latter.”

“A man after my own heart,” You joke, glancing over his direction with a sweet smile. “My favorite spot. It won’t take long.”

It’s a ramyun restaurant hidden within a large city without much foot traffic, but he wasn’t going to doubt your plans.

After handing the waiter back your menus with your orders, you rub your hands on your skirt sheepishly. “Uh, do you have a girlfriend?”

Shocked by the sudden question, Junmyeon’s jaw slacks.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, have you met your soulmate yet?” Once the words leave your mouth again, you groan at your lack of execution of holding small talk. “Sorry again, ignore that. Didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend and no, I haven’t yet.” He thought your reaction was cute. It was understandable how people were so easily smitten by you. “Do you?”

“No,” You say, voice a bit disappointed but your face doesn’t show it. “But I’m too busy anyway. I meant to ask because you’ve been working endless hours and I was afraid it was taking you away from someone at home.”

You were worried about him. It was different from the way his first love showed that she cared, she was more of a person who showed that she was worried, less vocal than you.

“No,” He chuckles light heartedly. Coming into your car, he was tensed and intimidated by your presence, but seeing the way you stuttered your words made you seem more human than how the employees made you out to be. “I’m alone. No one is nagging at me at home.”

“Ah,” You say, tapping your fingers onto the wooden table. “I see. I’m really impressed with your work, Junmyeon. How did you get into your career field?”

“Just seemed simpler at the time,” He admits, leaning back into his chair. “It was an easy major that my group of friends were considering, and although I really wanted to pursue music, I knew I needed some stability.”

“Music?” You ask as the waitress comes by with glasses full of water as you bow your head in appreciation. “Are you still interested in it?”

“Mm, sometimes. I’ve produced some songs here and there, I enjoy working with my creative side.”

“Would you venture out of your comfort zone?”

“I mean, if I could I would. But I have bills to pay, so I stay where I am now and do the best I can at it.”

You’re quiet for a moment as the server comes by, delivering your bowls of ramyun to the table. The aroma coming from the food made your mouths water, and your stomach growling in hunger in the process. “Sorry,” Your cheeks flush pink. “I’m kinda hungry.”

“Don’t apologize,” A smile tugs on the edges of his mouth softly. “It’s natural.”

Your stomach tightens at his smile but you brush it off as just a reaction from starving yourself from yesterday’s lunch. Business has been blooming, taking time away from your everyday from actually taking care of yourself. Taking Junmyeon here was supposed to be a learning experience about him, something you said you’d try doing frequently with your employees, but getting to eat at your favorite restaurant was your own version of self-care.

“How would you consider working in my marketing department? Well, more of the design or creative team. I have commercials and clips they play in stores to produce, and if you’re interested, maybe you can dip your toes in that. Both working with music and filmography?”

Junmyeon stops in the midst of blowing the steam from his raging hot noodles, lips pursed. “Wait, what?”

After chewing a mouthful of the delicious ramyun that awakens both you and your tastebuds, you blissfully lean back in your seat. “Jesus, just one bite takes me away.” You compliment before sitting back up, preparing yourself for another spoonful. “What I’m trying to say is, if you’re interested, you should consider working in the marketing department. I can’t offer you a record deal, but I can get your foot in the door somewhere.”

“I haven’t shown you a portfolio or anything.” He says, sweat beads forming on his forehead, and he’s not sure if it’s from anxiety or the temperature of the noodles.

“You don’t need to. It’s a learning experience and you grow and improve as you go. I trust that if you enjoy it enough, you’d get better with it. If you don’t, that’s okay. Feel free to tell me and I’d be more than happy to put you back in the business department, hauling away with meetings and conversations with both men and women that you probably hate with a fiery passion.”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“Do you want it or not, Junmyeon? I’m a busy woman, I’m trying to eat my noodles.”

Knocking on the tall wooden doors that lead into your office, he discreetly opens it slightly, peering before completely entering. He calls out your name, the gentlest sound you’ve ever heard as your head snaps in his direction. “You asked for me?”

“I did!” You point to the seat across from your desk, gesturing for him to get comfortable. 

“What could I do for you?”

You’re finishing up an email, eyes glued on the monitor before hitting the ‘send’ button before fully giving your whole attention to the male in front of you. “It’s been a week since you’ve started in your new department. How is it?”

You were right, it had been an entire week since you’ve last spoken, occasionally exchanging glances in the office, and Junmyeon can’t believe how quickly time had passed by. You had transitioned him in the marketing department, with hopes that he could get some more exposure to a different part of the industry since his dreams fit more with dipping into his artistic skills. He was enjoying the new experience so much that he had forgotten how much time had passed, assuming he’d only seen you several days go.

“It’s been a week already?” He says without thought, running his fingers through his lightly styled hair. You can’t help but notice the way he makes your breath hitch but you dismiss the feeling by clearing your throat. “I guess I’ve been enjoying it so much I haven’t even noticed how quickly time has passed.”

“That’s good to hear!” He actually seemed delighted with his new job. One of the perks of being in your position was being able to do things like this and see people change, see people be happy. If it fit your means to do it, you’d make it happen. “I’m glad. Please feel free to tell me if you’re having any issues. I’m flexible, if you’re not content with what you’re doing, I can always transfer you somewhere else within the company, or even back to where you were.”

“Can I ask something?”

“Sure, shoot. What is it?” You rest your arms on your large glass desk that seemed so tiny in your spacious office. 

He’s quiet for a moment, licking his lips in thought. “Why are you doing this? I didn’t think it was possible for me to... just switch out of my department and do something entirely new. I don’t have the skillset for it, nor a degree or anything.”

Shrugging, you purse your lips, eyes circling the room. “Because life isn’t easy. Not everyone is going to find what they enjoy in their high school years when they’re applying for colleges. Hell, college isn’t necessarily the place you’re guaranteed to find what you like anyway.”

“But you did?”

“I did, but I got lucky. I’ve witnessed enough people go through those feelings. Graduating from a university with a degree you worked hard to obtain in four years, only to realize that this isn’t what you want?” Taking a brief moment to organize your thoughts, you continue. “I want the people who work for me to be happy, Junmyeon. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them, if it weren’t for people like you. In actuality, I think I work for everyone here since everyone is working to make my dreams come true. It’s only fair if I try to do the same.”

Junmyeon wasn’t quite sure why, but he was comparing you to his first love again. 

There was a huge difference between the both—few similarities like how independent the two of you were, how immersed in your careers you’d been, and how much you cared for other people. It’d been the first time in a while since he’d been so observant and drawn someone, so distracted from his ex that he found himself wanting to know more about you.

“That’s... selfless.” 

“Just a thought.” You grin, tapping the pads of your fingertips against your desk again. It’s a habit of yours when you’re dubious about your next action, he picks up. “Do you think you can show me some of the things you’re working on before they air?”

“I heard you got a new job,” Chanyeol says from beside, startling Junmyeon as he’s grabbing a couple pieces of pork onto his plate. “How’d you land such a great deal? You’re producing the commercial for that skincare line you used to work for, right?”

“Somewhat right,” Junmyeon responds, a bit distracted by cooking the raw meat, placing the completed ones on Chanyeol’s plate. “I still work for that company. They just transferred me out the department to try something new.”

“No way.” Chanyeol’s eyes are huge, but they’re bulging out his head from surprise. “How did that happen?”

Junmyeon shrugs however a smile sits brightly in his face. “CEO asked what I wanted to do, I told her, and here we are.”

“Sounds like she likes you.” Minseok interjects into the conversation, popping open another bottle of cold beer. “You won the heart of the big CEO lady already? Sounds like a Korean drama,” He says, wriggling his brows suggestively.

Junmyeon denies. “Honestly, she does this thing where she has lunch with several employees to get to know what they do everyday since there has been growth in the company.”

“So you’ve had lunch with her?” Jongin is in on the conversation now, eyes from all the men at the table glued into Junmyeon.

“Uh, yes?”

“So, it was a lunch date.” Sehun invites himself in.

“No, it was just a boss and employee lunch. What’s up with you guys?”

“You’ve never really... talked about a girl lately.” Jongdae points out faintly, almost like he’s scared to pull a nerve. “At least, not for this long.”

“She’s nice... I just don’t think someone like her would ever like someone like me, though. She’s attractive, nice, and caring— but guys, come on. She owns an entire skincare line that are on the shelves of every store.”

“Stop talking down on yourself,” Chanyeol’s speaking now, and his warm orbs are comforting when they meet with Junmyeon’s. “There’s no guarantee that you’ll meet your soulmate, especially since the age is coming up. Doesn’t hurt to try shooting your shot with her, right?”

The age. The age where once you turn thirty, your chances of ever meeting your soulmate declines almost to 2%. Junmyeon has already hit the ripe age of 29 with only a year left before his probability descends into the abyss.

“I can’t hit on her.” He furrows his brows, stuffing his cheeks with a bite of kimchi. “She’s my boss.”

“Be discreet. Give her some subtle hints. If she doesn’t reciprocate, then abort mission and pretend you were just being nice.”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes at his friends’ advices. They were constantly interrupting each other with new ideas after another before someone taps his shoulder. “Junmyeon?”

“Oh— hey. Hey!” He says your name; he always says it the same way, the way that it warms your heart to the point you just wish you could grab his arms to wrap around you so you could doused yourself in his scent. He had an impact on you but you held your composure. Maybe you were starting to crush on him, if you haven’t already, because he was just so kind but he’s the type to be kind to everyone.

“Uh, guys. This is my boss...” He introduces, scratching his head. He continues on naming the rest of his group, hesitant about the whole ordeal as you wave cheekily to them all.

“You guys can just call me by my name, I’m not Junmyeon’s boss outside of the office.” You turn to look at the older male, hands stuffed into the front pockets of your jeans.

Even in the horrible brightness of fluorescent lighting, you managed to still look seamlessly beautiful in Junmyeon’s eyes. Your attire was distinct from the everyday work apparel yet you still appeared put together. Maybe Junmyeon was the one crushing.

“Come join us!” Chanyeol says quickly, gesturing the seat on the other side of Junmyeon as Jongdae slides over to give you enough room.

Junmyeon clicks his tongue, feigning a hit to Chanyeol before looking over at you. “I’m sorry, are you here with someone? I don’t want to take you away from them or force you to sit with us if you don’t want to.”

“Ah, honestly, I was just going to order something off the menu and take it home to eat. Unless you don’t want me here?” 

“Oh, no, of course I want you here, come,” Junmyeon responds, tapping the empty seat beside him. Timidly, you shrug your shoulders before taking up the offer and settle at the side of Junmyeon. 

Throughout the night, being with Junmyeon and his friends let you discover a completely new side of him. With them, he was considered the ‘mother’ of the group, nurturing and looking out for the rest of them, despite not being the eldest. He’s admirable, so Yixing remarks, but also selfless because he never has himself on his mind other than his friends and family.

When Junmyeon excuses himself to the bathroom, you learn that he sacrificed his relationship with the girl of his dreams so she could be with her soulmate regardless of the fact that she didn’t want to be with him because he rejected her. You find out that Chanyeol was the friend, and that he wants nothing more than to help find happiness for him as well. 

You pay for dinner. Junmyeon argues with you about it for a brief moment before you jokingly threaten that his job was on the line and he pouts in return. You’re almost bold enough to tell him that if he lets you kiss his pout that he could pay.

“Uh... Why are you in my office?”

“You cancelled on lunch last time. And a few times before that. I wanted to come so I can spontaneously take you out for dinner instead.”

You squint your eyes at the male in front of you, throwing the pen in your hand on your desk heatedly. “Catch the hint? I’m not very interested in the idea of having lunch with you. Or anything, really.”

“The idea, but you haven’t done it yet.”

Eunwoo is probably the cutest guy you’ve laid your eyes on but after dating for three years, it became evidently clear that the two of you didn’t click at all. Girls were at his beck and call, and you were growing tired of having to tell him which girls had bad intentions. You felt like his mom. He’s too sweet but it was starting to hurt your pride a bit when rumors were going around that he was flirting with others so you immediately put a stop to the relationship. 

“Eunwoo,” You sigh heavily, leaning back in your swivel chair. It’s around 5:00PM at this point, your day filled with meetings and tasks regarding a new launch approaching soon. “This... is really sweet of you. But we broke up.”

“I’m obviously here to try again.”

“You’re so oblivious about women all the time! I’m tired of teaching you, I need someone who doesn’t need to be groomed to fit me.”

There’s a knock on the door, and both your heads snap toward the direction to only see Junmyeon’s head peeking into the room. “Uh, sorry, am I interrupting something? Johnny said I could come in.”

You wanted to call Junmyeon your own personal superhero because he’s standing there in what seems like his best work outfit, and you’re almost drooling at the sight of him. Maybe it was because it was already so late in the day, and he looks like he’s been at his desk for a long time since his tie is loosened around his neck, and a button is undone.

“No, please, come in.” Eunwoo’s glare could pierce through you right now but you keep your gaze away. 

“Sorry,” Junmyeon bows at the other male before Eunwoo takes a seat in the corner of the room where the black leather couches were. He wasn’t backing down any time soon. “I... finished the video.”

“Oh?” He’s handing you a small flashdrive that you take willingly, inserting it into your computer before clicking around on your desktop before you reach your destination.

“Do you have headphones or something?”

Your brows crinkle in confusion. “What?”

He pulls out his keys, flipping open a case that holds his AirPods, placing it into the palm of your hand as you tilt your head when he rounds your desk, helping you bluetooth the device in. “Why are we doing this again?”

“Just a bit embarrassed about my first project. I don’t actually want to see you watch it.”

Eunwoo has his legs crossed, eyes shooting darts in the direction of you. He must be bursting with jealousy with how Junmyeon is seemingly close to you, making his way back to the seat in front of your desk, settling comfortably. Eunwoo observes that this is definitely not the first time the other male has been in your office.

After a few moments, you pull the buds out from your ears, placing it back into the white case and returning it to Junmyeon. “Wow... I--... Honestly, Jun, that was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. I mean I have some notes, don’t take it the wrong way, but... this is different.”

“I hope you mean a good kind of different?”

“Of course.”

He’s gifting you that warm smile again. “Send them over. I’ll take a look and send you an updated version.”

“You like him.”

“Hm?” You hum heedlessly, typing away on the computer with your comments still fresh in your mind. Junmyeon had left your office moments before, taking his leave home.

“You have a crush on that guy. I just saw you give him that look.” Agilely turning your head to face your ex-lover, you heave out a sigh. “What look, Eunwoo?”

“You used to look at me like that. I remember it because it’s when I knew that you returned those feelings for me and I went for it.” 

Frustrated, you push your keyboard away. “What? I can’t just look at a guy now? All of the sudden you’re an expert at these things? And why does it even matter? We’re not together anymore.”

“Because he’s competition? What else?”

“Eunwoo, get the fuck out please.” You say through your gritted teeth before throwing a post-it note stack at him as he makes his way out your office. “Okay, okay! I’ll be back though!”

There’s another knock at your door. Glancing at the clock that hangs above your desk, it reads 8:30PM and you could have sworn you told Johnny to go home hours ago. If it wasn’t Johnny, then...

Getting up from the couch full of loose papers and your laptop, you walk up toward the door, swinging it open. “Eunwoo, didn’t I tell you to fuck off—”

“Uh, I take it that the guy in the room earlier was Eunwoo then?”

In a pair of grey sweats and a T-shirt, Junmyeon is standing in your doorframe underneath a baseball cap. In his hands are bags of takeout, raising it up for your viewing once your eyes laid on it.

“What’s this?” You step aside to let him in, watching as he reorganizes the papers on your coffee table and places them onto another part of the couch, setting up the food. “You didn’t seem like you were going to cave into having dinner with that guy, and the launch is happening soon. I figured you’d still be here and skip dinner.”

In all honesty, this is what you would’ve wanted Eunwoo to do. Back when the two of you were dating, you had been stuck in the same scenario— couped up in your office, drowning yourself in paperwork without any time to make back home until the night before the launch day to get ready for the event. You wanted Eunwoo to take notice, doing something similar as to this, bringing food to you instead of forcing you to go out when you didn’t have much time to spare.

“I— I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Junmyeon, really. I was starving, but with how security is at the door at this time of night, delivery would’ve been a bit of a hassle.”

“Don’t sweat it, boss.” He jokes as you sit on the couch and he plops himself onto a seat across from you. “I got you the ramyun you had last time from that place you took me.”

“You did? How’d you remember what I ordered?”

“It was so spicy, I smelt it and sneezed a couple times.” Snapping the disposable chopsticks, he hands you the pair. “Plus, who would forget a name like ‘the Diablo Ramyun’? There’s a picture of a dragon breathing fire right next to the name on the menu.”

Junmyeon kept you company that night. He eventually started reading Webtoon comics on his phone after having dinner, laying on the couch before falling into a deep slumber, mouth agape. Grabbing a spare blanket you kept for nights you spent in your office, you drape it over his body, and pulled off his hat.

He looks angelic like this— albeit he has drool streaming from the sides of his mouth. Not obligated to stay, but nonetheless he did, all because he didn’t want you to be alone or feel lonely. Although you insisted he should go home, he contends, eventually winning the argument by comfortably designating the spot on the couch to himself. 

You don’t miss those soundless nights in your office anymore. Junmyeon’s snoring along with your tumultuous typing sets a new standard of bliss.

It’s been about two months since that night and Junmyeon is frequent in your life. 

He’s on speed-dial when you want to try new restaurants or go to events that are in the city, and he never fails to come by your side to keep you company. Sometimes, his smile catches you off guard, fluttering your heart, but other times, you think he feels as though his presence is necessary because you gave him his dream job.

“So, rumor has it: Junmyeon sleeps over at the office.”

“What makes you say that?” 

Johnny eyes you suspiciously. “Other than the fact that he leaves your office bright and early in the morning with slightly damp hair with an outfit that’s just barely different from the day before?”

Your breath stops, but your fingers continue to tap away at an email. “Does he?”

“So, you sleeping with him?” You stiffen, scowling at your assistant. “No, I am not.”

“What’s he doing in here then?” 

“He just... sleeps over whenever I’m having a late night session.”

“Oh, so you are sleeping with him.”

“Johnny.” You say firmly. “I am not. He just keeps me company ‘cause I’m all by myself here and it’s dark out.”

He’s reclining in the armchair in front of your desk, toes pushing off the ground while rocking the seat. “Why don’t you just ask him out if you like him that much? Why are you wasting your time just... ‘keeping company’ instead of... being his companion.”

“I’m his boss.”

“And? That’s a sexy thing. He might like a strong, self-sufficient woman. Hell—I know I do. But you’re not into me, so I’m gonna help Junmyeon if I can’t help myself.”

Ears now crimson, you admit defeat and lounge in your large work chair with a cumbersome sigh, playing along with his game. “I don’t have time to date.”

“He’s here at least once a week spending the night with you. You have time, and if you don’t, he’ll make the time to be with you.”

Pausing a moment in thought with a hum, you hit the tip of your fingers against the glass desk. “I’m not his type.”

“Oh hush, I see the way he looks at you. He thinks you’re gorgeous.”

Pursing up your lips, you assert, “I don’t believe that. What if I meet my soulmate?”

“Stop doubting your looks, he practically salivates at the sight of you that it’s all over the floor. Also, that soulmate thing? That never stopped you from dating Eunwoo, so why is Junmyeon any different?”

You shrug, playing with the pen in front of you. “His ex dated him and ended up being with her soulmate.”

“You honestly think you’re going to meet your soulmate? Tell me. You were in that research group for a couple years, what’d you gather from that?” If it wasn’t for HR, you’d probably have you hands wrapped around Johnny’s giraffe neck by now.

Back in University, you decided to partake in the Soulmate Research Group for your co-op program, rationalizing that this could help you find your ‘the one.’ The group resulted in slapping you into reality, educating you the chances of finding your soulmate had declined to almost none when considering the probability. It was the worst year of your life, having to come to terms that this fairy-tale that everyone in your life had made love seem was just something that only lucky people got to cooperate in.

“I... yeah, I know. It’s just so many goddamn people met their soulmate already, what about me? What makes me so different from the bunch?”

Johnny says your name, this time sweetly with a tone he never uses. “I never met my soulmate either. But Junmyeon is almost hitting 30, right? Imagine how he’s feeling. He can’t even get laid by a pretty girl that he sleeps in her office for on the most uncomfortable couch, let alone find his soulmate.”

“Do you like me?”

“What kind of question is that?” He glances at you quizzically, fixating his attention back under the hood of your car, twisting off the cap of your car sump, checking the oil levels. An oil light had popped onto the dashboard a couple days ago and you texted Junmyeon what he recommended to do, only for him to dispute that he’d check it himself.

“I don’t know, just answer it. Do you like me?”

He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief as he wipes the oil rod with a rag. “Of course I like you. Why else would I hang out with you and change your oil?”

“No,” You groan, leaning against your front headlights, slouching in annoyance. “Like... not as a friend. As a woman. More than a friend, someone you want to date.”

He stands, slack-jawed. 

“Listen— I totally get if you don’t see me in that way, but Johnny said he saw the way you looked at me, and I figured, ‘hey, why not try to ask him out’ so—“

“Of course I see you that way. Who doesn’t? I kind of just assumed you weren’t into me since you were always rejecting my advances.”

“Advances?”

Lifting up the dirty rag in his greasy, stained hands, the sides of his mouth twitches upwards. “Like I said, why would I change your oil? Plus, how many nights have I slept in your office on that god awful couch? I also have a toothbrush in your bathroom. And spare underwear. Need I say more?”

Chewing on your bottom lip and watching as he finishes up, closing the hood of your car, you tap your shoes anxiously against the concrete ground. “Can I ask you something else?”

“What is it?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You can already imagine how difficult showering is going to be later, but with Junmyeon’s plush lips pressed against yours, how could you complain about his tarnished hands underneath the fabric of your shirt, caressing the skin of your waist?

Guiding your hips to sit onto the hood of your car, your arms snake around his neck, playing with the longer strands of his hair that brush against his nape. The way he kisses feels like he’s going to suck the air out of your lungs but you couldn’t care less— you finally had him in your embrace and you weren’t going to let go.

He’s amiable, even though it’s contradicting that he’s tugging on your lower lip between his teeth, your lips swollen and plump from the aggressive make-out session. He doesn’t push too far, just right where you’re comfortable, especially when you’re in your opened garage out for your neighbors to see. 

You’re not sure how much time has passed but he’s already claimed the territory in the middle of your legs, towing you close with a grip on your thighs. Placing the palm of his hands on either side of you on the car, he grins cheekily after pulling out of the kiss, heavy pants against each other’s face.

“Did my boss just make-out with me?” You slap his chest, rolling your eyes in unison. “Stop it. I know you’re enjoying this, I feel it.” Wrapping your arms around his lower frame, you pull him close, pressing your crotch against his as his groans. “Now you stop it. I’m not taking you here.”

Junmyeon is a gentleman. He declares that he wouldn’t be taking you anywhere near the bedroom until he takes you out on a proper date, in spite of the fact that you both had broken his rule of no kissing and no sex before a date. 

If you thought that you had everything you wanted before, you were wrong. Not until you met him.

“I met my soulmate.”

Straightening the paperwork on your desk, pretending to preoccupy yourself from this conversation and stay cool, you place the manila envelopes flat back on your desk, eyes eventually locked on the figure in your office. “Okay?”

“This means we can’t go back to what we ever were again...”

Feelings of uncertainty arise in your stomach—it’s obvious it’s jealousy. Was it because he found his soulmate and he was never coming back or that you haven’t even met yours? 

Eunwoo stands in the middle of the room, hands in the pockets of his dress pants, contemplating what to say next. 

“We’re not together anymore.”

He knows this—he knows this so well with the amount of times you remind him that it’s embedded in his brain, nonetheless in the general picture of things, Eunwoo always thought that you’d find your way back home and into his arms. He’d tell you this, despite the amount of times you’ve rejected him, but hearing now that he really won’t come back because he has a soulmate hits different. 

Maybe Eunwoo had been a back-up plan. There’s never 100% bliss in a relationship, and you never saw yourself getting married to him and having kids but the thought of having Eunwoo in the back of your head meant that even if you didn’t find ‘the one,’ Eunwoo would be the replacement. It sounds fuck-up, it all sounded fucked-up but who would love a woman who ran an entire company by herself and barely have time for anyone else in her life?

“It means... I officially can’t come back to you anymore and you can’t expect for me to fall back into your hands like putty. I’m done... but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.”

“I know, Eunwoo.”

“It’s just— it’s my soulmate.”

“Don’t miss out on that opportunity.” You say sternly. 

Thwarted by your reaction, he snaps. “I’m so sick of this. I should’ve just given up sooner—I’ve been in your life for 6 years, we dated for 3, and you can’t even be happy for me? You can’t even tell me that you still love me although you’re the one who left me?”

Head dropping onto the back of your chair, you close your eyes for a moment. “Eunwoo, I’ll always love you, I never thought I had to remind you of that. But we never worked out, we stopped clicking after a year in. We’re on different pages, we’re doing different things, and I never had the time to spend with you anymore.”

“It wasn’t that you never had the time, you never made time.”

“Don’t say that. I didn’t have time. You never made the effort to spend it with me.”

“What?” He says sharply. “Tell me, what could I have done differently? I want to hear it?”

Running your fingers through your strands of hair frustratedly, you grumble in discontent. “I wanted you to be here with me on those nights I spent in the office. I wanted to have dinner with you here, but you always insisted we go out. I wanted you to be part of my projects, do things with me because we’re in the same field, yet you couldn’t even do that. I wanted you to be around and try in other ways even if it was hard to spend time with each other.”

“You’re the one who stopped trying!”

“I stopped trying when I saw how much effort you were putting into meeting these girls instead of me! How do you think I feel when you’re out buying coffee and delivering it to your co-worker? You couldn’t even do that for me.”

Clenching his jaw, he gives you a look before saying his last words. “You’re right. Maybe we weren’t right for each other.” As he’s walking toward the doors existing your office, you silently say, “She was your soulmate, wasn’t she? The co-worker.”

He turns to look at you, eyes sudden soft compared to moments ago. You were right. You’re always right.

Junmyeon is handsome in this lighting but it’s difficult to focus on the date with your argument with your ex from earlier.

He planned everything for the night—the lights, the picnic blanket, and wicker basket filled with delicious foods that he had cooked himself, a skill that he had been trying to improve lately since his roommate, Kyungsoo, had left for the military, and Chanyeol moved out to live with his soulmate. 

Pulling out two wine glasses, following with a bottle, he pops the cork out before pouring some into yours. “So, what’s on your mind?” Snapping back into reality, you laugh awkwardly, rubbing your arm.

“I’m sorry? Did you say something and I missed it? Nothing’s on my mind.”

“No, something is definitely up in there. I can see it in your face.” Handing the glass to you, he’s taking out the rest of the food from the basket; he’d packed everything from kimchi to kimbap, even cheese and deli meats. There was also pie— jesus, did he have to try so hard to get to your heart? You would be melting in his affection at this point if your head wasn’t so occupied.

“Uh... honestly, there’s something. But I’m not really in the mood to talk about it because it might ruin our date.”

“I’m afraid it would ruin our date if you don’t say anything.” He raises a brow.

Shoulders dropping in defeat, you take a sip of your wine for a boost of confidence. “Fine, fine. Eunwoo met his soulmate.”

Junmyeon nods, lips pursed. “Ah, I see. And you always thought that if it didn’t work out with someone else, you’d at least have Eunwoo?”

You freeze.

How’d he know that?

Almost like he read your thoughts, he’s speaking as he’s unraveling the plastic off the plates and containers. “I can kind of tell. You never fully pushed him away. If you didn’t want him in your life at all, you would’ve asked Johnny and the building to kick him out once he went through the lobby doors. Never happened— he’s even on your calendar for lunch, even if you don’t go.”

“You’re rather observant, aren’t you?”

“So I’ve been told.” He grins, taking your hand and giving it a light kiss. “Listen, I understand. Does it have to do with the soulmate thing?”

“A bit...” 

He shakes his head in condemnation, gaze drifting off at the sun that slowly begins to set in the horizon. “I hope you’re not upset because of me just because my ex left me for her soulmate. Not everyone meets their soulmate, you know? So if you met whomever it is, I’d want you to be with them.”

Ugh, Junmyeon is the epitome of a perfect man. It had been a thought that was on your mind recently, although you knew your chances of meeting your soulmate was slim, there was always that chance. 

“Thank you, Junmyeon. I feel the same way about you, you know.” With that, he nods in agreement before sticking a fork into the cheese, lifting it up to your lips. “Less talking about sad stuff now. Cheese?” With a smile, you comply with his offer and open your mouth.

The sun has long disappeared for the night and his friend, the moon, makes an appearance. Junmyeon is even more beautiful under the moonlight, if possible, laying on the blanket with his head resting on his arm as he admires the stars in the sky. 

Dinner was amazing— Junmyeon never fails to impress. You have to thank Chanyeol’s soulmate later on for going back to him because if it wasn’t for their bonding, you would’ve never actually met him. The previous year had taken a toll on you; the constant traveling from Japan, China, and Korea was deteriorating your health that you’d spend most of time in your office. Junmyeon didn’t even meet you until about two months ago. 

Your mind wanders off. Questions like: ‘how did Chanyeol meet his soulmate’ and ‘what stopped him from wanting to get to know the girl’ or ‘did any of your other friends meet their soulmate’ all flooded your head. You figured the night had been going so well you’d avoid the topic of soulmate and save those questions for another time. After what seemed like a moment, another inquiry lights a bulb over your head.

“Wait... we never talked about this before, but do you have a marking?”

“Of course,” He looks at you confusingly. “We all have markings.”

“But I never saw yours, and you never saw mine.” You clarify, and he nods at your statement. “Well, okay, yes, that’s true. Did you want to see it? Where’s yours?”

“On my hip-bone.” You respond, tugging down on the fabric at the hem of your shirt gingerly. Eyes bulging at your response, his body tenses. “What?”

Meticulously lifting the end of his shirt up, there’s a daisy that sits on his hip-bone and you finally understand why he’s giving you such a strange reaction. Mimicking his actions, you show him yours— a daisy.

[bby-ahgastay]

stoner!jisung (3)

a/n: part one is almost at 200 notes that's insane🥺. thank you so much💕🤧.

member: han jisung (stray kids)

summary: after waking up together you and jisung think about how long you've had feelings for each other and he finally asks you out👉🏼👈🏼.

(1) / (2) / (3)

warning: smoking weed

the sun doesn't even enter the room much, small beams of light peeking through from the black curtains on his windows. you groan as the banging on the door wakes you up, detaching yourself from jisung to sit up and rub your eyes.

the boy doesn't even move, just barely poking his head up to look at how you don't even bother covering your chest. he could drool at the sight of your boobs so perfectly on display. he would have no problem ignoring chan yelling to wake you up just to touch you everywhere all over again. but then he pays attention to the way you're rubbing your face, expression grumpy and still groggy from your deep slumber.

you turn to look at him with a pouty frown, eyebrows furrowed and your face still puffy from sleep. he pouts back at you, one arm stretching out to offer more cuddles. your heart flutters as you lay back down with him, already feeling happier when his arms come around you. when your friends are quiet for a few minutes, you almost think that they're going to leave you guys alone. but as soon as you feel yourself drifting off, they're back at it again. and this time they're louder.

"yah! first you put us through hearing you two going at it when we got home, now you won't even wake up!" chan shouts through the door, knocking frantically once more. muffled giggles are heard, and it becomes apparent that he and changbin just want to tease you guys.

"if we're lucky they'll figure we're still asleep and just leave," jisung mumbles. you nod a little to agree before cuddling further into him. then his roommates hushing each other is heard through the door before they're proceeding to take turns finding new ways to tease you and jisung.

and it almost seemed endless. they had clearly spent some time thinking of these things to say. lots of time. after a while you had to figure they weren't going to just leave you two alone.

"shut it, already, we're up!" jisung calls, only lifting his head from the pillows.

"both of you? oh no, get the ear plugs, hyung, go!" you hear changbin, then their rushed footsteps and obnoxious laughter. jisung lets out a bothered groan before turning to lay on his back, sitting up slightly to pull you onto him. you smile as he pulls your legs over his waist, letting you settle on top of him. you rest your head against his chest, a calm feeling coming over you as you listen to his steady heartbeat, both of you beginning to falling back asleep.

but again, chan and changbin ruin it. you flinch awake as the door bursts open, the two bounding in while shouting randomly. a little gasp leaves you as jisung tightens his arms around you, keeping you from sitting up. your breasts are pressed flush against his chest as you hear the boys running around yelling random gibberish. one of han's hands scrambles for the blanket, which was at least covering your bottom halves, the other arm remaining around your body.

he wraps his arms around your waist again, the blanket tucked under his arms. you bury your head in his shoulder and keep your arms around his shoulders as he sits up. he's careful to keep as much of you covered as he can. though they don't even seem to notice you being naked, you look up and see them as they pull the curtains open and jump around some more. the light is way too bright for either of your eyes, both of you groaning and complaining for a moment.

then his attention is back on you. he's frowning in front of you, mumbling how he's sorry and asking if you're okay while stroking your hair gently. you nod with a little laugh, still with an arm around him as the other hand reaches to caress his cheek.

"it's fine, ji. i'm used to them, remember? i mean, really, how could we have thought they'd let us sleep in peacefully anyways, we both should have known better," you shake your head, amusement written across your sleepy features. he relaxes a little, laughing along with you for a moment.

it's things like this that amaze him... there's two grown men screaming and jumping around right behind him, yet he could swear you were the only one there. it's like when he looks at you his brain pushes everything else aside, nothing else worth paying any attention to. there could probably be a whole earthquake and he wouldn't notice if he had you right in front of him.

"aww, binnie look at them! finally together and so cute," chan coos while walking closer to the bed. you peek over han's shoulder, seeing chan with his hands on his cheeks and changbin patting his heart sentimentally next to him. your eyes go back to the boy in front of you, seeing how he grows bothered again. you know sungie wouldn't start a real fight with them over this, so you don't worry too much as he moves to send them a glare.

"really? couldn't even knock? we're fucking naked, y/n wasn't even covered up you dickwads!"

"really? couldn't not dry hump each other in the same room as us? ow!" the pillow you struggle to fling hits changbin in the face, earning you a fist bump from hannie and a fit of laughter from chan. changbin rubs his nose while sticking his tongue out to you, sulking out of the room.

chan begins calming down, shaking his head as he follows the other boy. "next time don't leave your clothes all over for us to almost trip on," with a snicker he kicks at your top laying near the door. "ah!" he breaks for the door when another pillow is thrown, this time by jisung.

once the door is shut he lets out a sigh while falling back into the one pillow still left on his bed. one eye opens, looking to see if you'd lay back down. you only look back at him, arching one brow. so he sits back up, an arm coming to pull you down with him. a grin comes over your face as he does, giggling lightly. while bringing you down on top of him he recreates the sigh much more dramatically. his head falls back onto the pillow and his eyes close as you shift to get comfortable.

laying on your stomach, your chin rests on his shoulder as you stare up at him. 'so handsome,' you think as you study his face. heart shaped lips, chubby cheeks, pretty eyes, a cute nose, a sharp jawline... every single thing about him is beyond perfect to you.

you move to plant a kiss on his nose, then his cheeks, then his lips. he smiles at how affectionate you're being, glad that you seem to mirror his desire to show you as much love as you can now. when you pull away he brings a hand to tangle in your hair, holding you in place while he went for another kiss. you melt into him as he slips his tongue into your mouth.

his kiss is soft and loving, but still enough to make you weak in the knees. he pulls away with a smile, trying hard to hide the pride he feels at the fact that he's the one who gets to kiss you from now on. as his lips leave yours you lean forward subconsciously, eyes still closed. with a chuckle he leaves one more short kiss to your lips, then falls back into the pillow. you hum softly as you lick your lips, running your fingers lightly over his chest.

one of his hands goes to your thigh, and that's when you move to get up. "hey, nuh uh, they're still out there. and probably not planning on leaving us alone," you go to his dresser, in search of a shirt for yourself and some pants for him.

jisung lets out an exaggerated sigh, "fine." he knows you're right though, his roommates hardly had any boundaries most times and the lock on his door has been broken for ages. maybe now he should try harder to get that fixed.

his eyes follow you as you move around his room so casually, even with no clothes on. usually you'd care more about being naked in front of someone, even someone you slept with, but it doesn't seem to matter with jisung. in your mind, he saw it last night and he's gonna end up seeing it again, so why hide anything?

'god, look at her,' he thinks. you open the drawer where you know his tshirts are kept, pulling out a black supreme shirt from the top. you probably know his room better than he does at this point.

once you had started sleeping in here when you'd spend the night you helped him keep it clean, something he seemed to struggle with before. and if you were gonna be sleeping in this room at all you would rather it be clean compared to how he had it before. which he didn't really mind either, things were easier to find now.

'wifey material,' is all he hears his brain telling him. the mix of waking up together and the way you seem so at home gives him a clear image of a life with you one day. the more he thought about it the more it sounded so perfect. a life where you're his wife, you guys have a beautiful home, definitely a couple cats and dogs, and not to mention how he'd love to see you holding a little baby one day. and everyday he gets to wake up to all of it, knowing you're his forever.

okay, maybe he shouldn't get so ahead of himself. there's a lot you both need to do before you'll be able to have that life. you're still in school and his schedule is too iffy for any of that right now, and then he supposed you were both too young as well.

he takes one last glance over your body before you pull the shirt on, it falling just past your butt. it doesn't even matter if you're naked or wearing ten layers of clothes, jisung will still stare at you drooling.

after pulling the shirt on you go to a different drawer, pulling out some basketball shorts for him.you hold the pair up to him before tossing them, then turning to your pile of clothes on his floor. he rolls out of the bed to pull the shorts on, walking to you as you bend to pick up your sweater. well, his sweater, but was it really anymore?

he knew it was yours the moment he saw you walking out of his room in it that one day months ago. it looked way too good on you to ever ask for it back so he never did. and besides, he loved seeing you in his clothes.

and he loved bringing it up more than anything.

if you wore it to hang out with him and the boys one day, 'nice outfit, whose jacket?' or if you were out in public with him and he noticed anyone checking you out he would playfully pull you against his chest, hands tugging at the bottom of the sweater. 'wow, jagiya, i don't think i'll get tired of seeing you in my clothes,' he'd smirk down at you. you would always get flustered and not even notice the way he'd look at whoever was staring for too long, glaring until they'd get the hint and look away.

he'd even use it against his hyungs. this was one of his favorite things to do. there was one time in particular where he surprised even himself. it was before you two had ever been very touchy with each other, but he still didn't hesitate to pull you to sit on his lap when he thought you'd chose one of them instead. chan and changbin had been surpised that nothing more happened after that night, but then again their jisungie was shy not so far under the surface.

-------

"hannie still needs a place to sit too, y/n, just come sit on my lap instead," changbin told you, patting his thigh with a bite of his lip. you guys were having a movie night and you were about to sit down in the comfy chair they have. they had some other friends over too, making eight boys here in total. it made it a bit harder to make space for everyone. the armchair was the only other place to sit.

"or we can eliminate someone," you respond with a slight point in his direction. he began prodding at the inside of his cheek with his tongue, smiling through it as everyone was roaring at the joke, the five cackling on the couch already a joint and an edible in each.

"well then if not his, you can always try mine, babygirl," chan grins cheekily.

"ah, make it two!" minho shouts through gasping laughter, reaching to high five you from the couch. you laugh with him before jisung comes back in, everyone quieting down a bit as he speaks up.

"or, since y/n is wearing my clothes," he plops down into the armchair. "she'll sit on my lap instead," he reaches out to grab you by your hips and pulls you down to his lap, facing you towards the tv screen so you're not able to look towards the two attempting to flirt or any of the other boys for that matter.

"you know, cause i'm obviously her favorite," he glares at them over his shoulder. "right, babe?" he turns to look back at you, winking with a click of his tongue and leaving a light pat on your thigh. and with that his eyes are on the screen, your face hot as the movie started.

"oh... wow... that was smooth," stoned little innie seemed impressed as he bobbed his head up and down in approval, looking around at each of his friends with droopy eyes.

-------

when you straighten back up, sweater in hand, jisung is behind you slipping his arms around your waist, his chest against your back and his lips planting a kiss on your cheek. you bite your smile back and turn slightly to look up at him while your hand searches the pocket of the sweater. "well then, i guess good morning," his voice rasps.

"good morning," you turn fully and bring one hand up, palm open to show three perfectly rolled blunts. he blinks down at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "well? wake n bake?" you bounce on your toes a little, looking as if you were glowing in the soft sunshine coming into his room for once.

'holy shit, dude, marry her last fucking week already come on!' that thought comes pounding back, but he swats it away again. 'girlfriend will be a good start, hopefully then wife,' he thinks to himself.

"how dare you even question it?" he scoffs, shaking his head in mock disbelief. you roll your eyes and stick one blunt between your lips, one resting on your ear for later, and the third you place on ji's ear. he pinchs your cheek with a smile before going to find a lighter on his dresser. you hurry to crawl on the bed, sitting against the headboard with your knees to your chest.

jisung sits next to you and pulls you onto his lap, settling between his legs with your back against his chest. he brings the lighter to the blunt between your lips, lighting it for you before you take a large hit. his arms settle around you while you lift the blunt to his mouth, one arm draped across your waist and the other resting on your thigh as his fingers draw little patterns.

the conversation you two make for a while is pretty normal, you tell him about a few upcoming assignments you have, he talks about some songs he's excited about, and it almost surprises you that you guys don't bring up yesterday. but it just feels so normal doing this. you almost forget that anything is different at all.

until he brings it up two blunts in.

"so... last night..." you shift to look up at him. his eyes avoid yours, his cheeks heating up as he becomes a little shy for a moment. "i never ended up asking you to be my girlfriend, huh?" you turn to lay on your stomach, resting your chin on his tummy to see the little smile on his face, and you can't help but smile right back.

you begin shaking your head a little. "nope, not that i remember... but there was something about me being yours at the studio, i believe?" you tease him a little. he rolls his eyes with a smirk, reaching to pinch your ass slightly in response. you hide your grin by bringing the last blunt to your lips, propping yourself up more to light it before he continues.

"well, i guess i should ask you now, then, shouldn't i?" he strokes your hair affectionately, fondness in his eyes. then his hand moves to caress your cheek, his thumb running over your bottom lip as smoke leaves your mouth. his eyes stare into yours, making it impossible to look anywhere but him. and why would you want to, really.

"so, y/n, will you be my girlfriend?" he grins at you while plucking the blunt from your fingers, pressing it to his lips while waiting for your answer. you take a moment to stare at him, your heart racing and your mind drowning with thoughts. no way are you going to say anything but yes, but you struggle to process that jisung is really asking you to be his girlfriend. you always thought he was the kind of crush that would never end up working out and you'd have to force yourself to move on from.

i mean, he'd been one of the first people you ever met when you came to korea the summer before your first year of college. you started liking him not long after and now it's been almost a year. at this point you still had feelings for him, obviously, but you lost all hope that it would ever happen. part of you even thought that last night would turn out to be a one time thing. but now you're just beyond happy that he's really going to be your boyfriend.

"god, yes," you blurt as he breathes the smoke out. he smiles with closed eyes and pulls you into him, his excited exclamations muffled by your skin. you laugh as his voice tickles you, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him close. he pulls back to plant a kiss on your lips, hands pulling you closer against him by your waist.

his eyes stare up at you adoringly. neither of you say anything for a moment, you just take the time to look at each other instead. you can feel your heart pounding the way it always does when you're close to jisung. all those times you remember your chest tightening with the pain of one sided love.

but now all you feel is happiness lighting you up as he holds you closer to him.

-------

"god, ryujinnie, it just all seemed so perfect," you gush, adjusting yourself so that your legs hang over the back of the couch and your head is hanging over the edge of the cushion. next to you is your roommate, sitting on the floor in front of the couch with chopsticks in hand and the large amount of food you guys ordered laid out in front of her.

"i can't believe he left all that," she exclaims and points her chopsticks towards your neck. your face heats up and you lift the hood of your sweater, tying the strings to cover your neck.

"yeah, that's not even all of it..." you think of the marks you found all over your body. jisung was really sure to leave hickies on every part of you that he touched, including your neck, chest, boobs, stomach, and thighs. the memory of his mouth on you comes flooding back. it just felt so, so good.

"my god, look at you. i was gonna ask if he was good, but i guess i know the answer!" she shakes her head with wide eyes, reaching for a piece of meat and taking a big bite of it. you giggle slightly and roll off the couch, moving to the floor to join her in eating.

you two had put a movie on to watch as you ate, but you both knew you wouldn't really be watching it. you came home already excited to tell her about everything that had happened. she suggested that before you got too into you should settle in more. so food was ordered and pillows and blankets were laid out in the living room. and now you were ready to get everything all out.

"so, it had started in the studio... and continued at his apartment that night. and this morning he asked me out. and then we went again this morning," you begin, smirking at the thought of the shower that took place after han asked you to officially be his girlfriend.

you try to give as much detail as you can, but at certain points your face turns red and you decide to leave a thing or two out. still, though, you tell her mostly everything.

"wow," she exhales once you finish. "well, to start with, i can't believe he was all on you like that in front of his friends! jisung acts shy but that boy is bold," the two of you laugh together. any time you've brought the boy around ryujin he hardly says a word, usually saying hello and then keeping to himself until she was out of the room.

"god, you're telling me," you lean back on the couch, one hand to your forehead. there's a pause where ryujin continues eating and you just look at the ceiling for a moment. many thoughts go through your head, all of them to do with jisung, and one more nagging than the rest.

you sit up again suddenly, sitting up straight and criss cross in front of your best friend. she stops what she's doing, chopsticks still in her mouth as she slowly turns to look at you.

"ryujinnie... i..." you study the floor for a second before looking up at her, her eyebrows raised as she waits for you to spit it out. you sigh and prepare yourself once more. "i think i love jisung. like 'i want him to be my last boyfriend' kind of love," you feel your heart pounding just saying the words.

ryujin's eyes widen a little, setting down her chopsticks and turning to face you more.

"y/n-ah... you've been dating him since this morning. you sure about that?"

you roll your eyes and snack your gums, turning to grab some more food off your plate before continuing. "yes, i'm sure! i've liked this guy as long as i've known him, okay... it's just that last night after we finished everything and we were laying in bed together," you stick your bottom lip out and your heart flutters at the memory.

"being in his arms like that made me so sure that i'm in love with him, ryujin. i'm really sure."

"aww," she coos, hands over her heart. "so cute! you can finally admit you've liked him this whole time!" once again you roll your eyes, pushing her over on the floor. you both shout as she gets up and pushes you back, laughing after at the weak attempt at play fighting.

and then you two watch the movie and eat, a warm feeling over you as you can't stop thinking about last night.

[staripheral]

❛ i’ll be lucky someday ❜

𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙟𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺’𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 : 𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙚

𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣 ‘𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙’

JOHNNY seated himself upon the pillowy snow after moving out of his wheelchair with unlikely ease.  His head tilted upwards to look up and out into the pitch black sky, lit with luminous stars.  It was almost too beautiful to be a witness to, he thought while continuing to gaze at the ethereal night.  His mind, other than being filled with the sight of twilight, was consumed by anything and everything surrounding the previous events in the midst of the Steel Ball Run.

Their placement at the 5th stage was anything short of spectacular or celebratory.  For just a moment, they thought they had risen to the occasion and swept the top three places for themselves.  Only, it wasn't meant to be.  They had ended up occupying slots four through six, while Sandman, Norisuke Higashikata, and the mysterious Hot Pants took the first three places for themselves.  He wasn't particularly bothered at the time, but he knew how much this meant to Gyro... and ⌜y/n⌟.  He couldn't have felt more devoid in that moment, knowing that if he had perhaps unlocked his stand's potential sooner or even have been able to use his stupid, crippled legs to come to his friends' aid.

There was always a constant—his constant—that relieved him and helped him feel grounded, and that was ⌜y/n⌟.  Johnny shivered, not from the cold, but the idea of ⌜y/n⌟'s warm, delicate hands grazing his unworthy skin. The snowflakes peppering down on his poor-excuses-of-legs did not bother him in the slightest.  Because he couldn't feel them.  He couldn't feel anything anymore.  Not without her at least.  Johnny was nothing without his... well, he wasn't quite sure of the status of their relationship, but he was aware of the fact of how important she was to him.  That he did, in fact, love her with all of his heart.

Johnny's vacant, blue irises moved their focus from the gleaming moon to his numb legs.  

'I wonder what she sees,'—he had pondered multiple times over this journey—'When she looks at my crippled form... Does she feel distaste for me?  Or perhaps pity?'

Lost in thought, his attention wasn't brought back until he heard her angelic voice.  He hadn't just imagined her soft touch like he thought he had as a familiar weight lay on his shoulder— it had been there for a while.  He did not have to flinch or yell; Johnny didn't have to look to know that it was her— the only person he had grown to care and adore for during his years of suffering.  He could practically hear ⌜y/n⌟'s pearly white smile as she laid out atop a thin blanket to protect her rear from the layer of snow covering the earth for as far as they could see.

"Gyro said he'll be back in a bit.  He's just gathering some extra firewood and, uh... how do you put it?  Taking a leak?" She laughed uneasily, yet it still brought a furious hammering to his frozen heart.  

"There's not much of a better way to put it, doll," Johnny chuckled, scooting himself onto the same blanket she was planted on.  He looked into her eyes and couldn't seem to counter the tender smile his lips quirked up into.

⌜y/n⌟ returned his look with surreal beauty—goodness, he couldn't get enough of the rosiness that her checks were painted with—and a smile that surpassed even the sun's heat, warming him to the core despite their wintery surroundings.  No lipstick to coat her plump lips, no eyeshadow to brighten her already dazzling ⌜e/c⌟ eyes— nothing besides her bare skin right before him.  And he felt anything but deserving at that moment to behold such a wondrous complexion as hers.

She placed her temple against his shoulder and slowly slithered her hands around to hug Johnny's arm gently.  The sudden explosion of heat in his cheeks sent him into a tizzy.  Johnny tilted his head to the right, poorly attempting to hide his rosy face.

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind.  It's just so darn cold here." ⌜y/n⌟ shivered in emphasis of the chill dancing through her veins.  All Johnny could do was utter an "S'okay" and bite his lip to refrain from squirming away from her touch.  He looked back and forth between her and his legs.  Those ugly limbs, compared to a beautiful being like her.  It was unfair; not to him, but to her.  How could he even bring himself to think about an impossible future with her at his side?  How could she cling to him for security when he can't even stand up to provide what she sought.  

The despairing comments filling his head took more of an outward toll on him than he had realized.  His teeth drew blood from his lips, his arm burned as it continued to be bound in ⌜y/n⌟'s arms, and his breathing grew heavier... heavier and heavier until ⌜y/n⌟ finally decided to ask what was wrong.

"What's wrong, Johnny?  Is it a Stand attack?  Oh, God- are you alright?" Her own breath grew ragged like his, worried about the possibility that another contestant was trying to get in their way once more.  She tried to remain calm and observe the scene, starting with Johnny.  That's when she realized it wasn't a Stand's doing at all.

His eyes looked lost as they remained on the endless amount of snow in the distance.  His shoulders began to tremble under the weight of his trouble; ⌜y/n⌟ had underestimated the amount of willpower that Johnny often facaded.  Underneath that was still a kind and strong young man, but those features were laced with memories of hurt and treachery.  His heart was wrought with the worst of experiences and it seemed to be catching all up to him now.

"Oh, Johnny..." She whimpered, his own pain resonating in her heart as well.  Sitting up on her knees and moving her arms to hug him fully around his side, she cooed words of comfort into his ear, briefly pressing a kiss to his jaw to try and relax him.  This only seemed to make him further distressed.  

"How can you do that?" He croaked out all a sudden, tears staining his pale, porcelain skin.  ⌜y/n⌟'s eyebrows knit together, creasing in what could only be described as confusion.  He continued, not being able to look her in the eye as he sobbed out his words.  "How can you even hold onto me, comfort me, and remain by my side?  How can you do that when I can't even stand or protect you properly; when I can't tell you how I feel because I would never want you to feel pressured to say something back to a poor soul with stupid- stupid! - legs!"  He had grabbed a fistful of snow in his bare hand, releasing his anger as he threw the snow at his pants.  He had broken free of her careful grasp in that time, unintentionally frightening her.  

A trembling hand rose to cover ⌜y/n⌟'s mouth.  Her prediction had been slightly off; Johnny hadn't been feeling so melancholy of his past, rather, he was ashamed of what his past had robbed him of.  He was insecure of his current state, of his inability to walk about freely like the people he watched everyday.  Her heart fell into her stomach and she applied further pressure to her mouth, as if trying to keep the nauseating feeling of helplessness down.  Her eyes fell on Johnny, his sobbing form hunched over and still breathing laboriously.  It broke ⌜y/n⌟ into pieces, but she wouldn't dare sit by idly and watch him wallow in his worst moment alone any longer than she already had.

⌜y/n⌟ approached him, boots crunching the snow beneath her light steps.  Johnny looked up, eyes red around the rim, his lips still bleeding, and face rosy from the frosty wind.  She sat herself in his lap comfortably and her lips formed such a soft hearted smile that his tear ducts filled with waterworks once more and he broke down at her unexpected actions.  It made him tremble visibly, and the snow began to fall down at substantial pace.  With another coo of worry, ⌜y/n⌟ took his face in her palms, holding it with extra care.  They stared at each other for eons and the pad of her thumb stroked his cheekbone back and forth.  But the feeling of her soft hands cradling his face was nothing compared to the soft, silky caress of her lips against his.

The extreme heat that transpired through his body was inexplicable.  A ravaging hunger consumed him, but he had to pull away for that very reason.  He could not damage her and her goodness because of his uncontrollable emotions.  

Their faces- both ruddy with the momentary passion that had been entrapped in their moment -could not turn anywhere else but in the direction of each other.  Johnny's fingers itched to desperately grip her and pull her back into him, to show her just how he felt, but he didn't.  He was frozen in place by her affection.  It seemed as if ⌜y/n⌟ were as well, until she moved her lips again, only this time to speak to him in a whispered tone.

"I love you." Her voice wavered ever so slightly just saying those three words; their weight had never been more significant before.  Yet she still undoubtedly believed it, and continued forward with the only things she could think to say.  "I love you- all of you.  You have trusted me, cared for me, protected me in the worst of our journey, starting in San Diego.  You have shown me what it means to be true to yourself, to be selfless, and to always pursue what is in your heart... You have done that.  You've protected me from our enemies, from my own stupid thoughts, and my dreams at night when I toss and turn.  Johnny... you have always protected me.  And I,"-she paused to lift his chin with a nimble finger of hers, wiping stray tears while she was at it -"don't think that your legs have ever prevented you from doing that.  You are not a poor soul... you offer me wealth in a way that no other person could.  Your legs are not stupid, because they make you, you.  Perhaps they can limit you in certain aspects, but tell me a time where you have failed to overcome an obstacle here because of them.  They have never.  And they will not, and have not, stopped me from loving you, Jonathan."

She didn't need to say another word.  Not after everything she had expressed- everything that she had laid bare before him.  Her words reached through to him so easily, it was almost frightening... almost.  Perhaps there were still doubts, but they were minor now, compared to the light in front of him.

He crushed her right to his chest and he fervently kissed her perfect lips over and over and over, committing practically every single patch of skin, every breath, and the very taste of her to his memory.  It just wasn't enough in his mind.  

In that moment, nothing else really mattered.  Nothing besides her lips, her body, her being mending his broken esteem- his once broken heart.  If Heaven didn't feel as warm and comforting as the two of them had in that moment... he wasn't entirely sure how "kind" he would be from that point forward in order to get there.  He was alive, heart throbbing through his chest unto hers.  She was alive, heart throbbing through her chest unto his.  They beat in unison, merging into one it seemed.

When ⌜y/n⌟ had begun to slow, he pulled away and placed a hand on the back of her head, threading his fingers through her velvety hair.  They were both out of breath, gasping for each other's air.  Their hair a mess and clothes slightly disheveled from their heated kisses.  Johnny smiled, feeling so airy in that particular moment and more love than he had ever been given in his life.  He dipped his head down slightly just so his lips grazed her ear.

"You're too much sometimes, I swear..." He felt bashful confessing in such a manner, his entire face turning red from embarrassment now.  "Will you- Will you stay by my side, ⌜y/n⌟?  I know it's so selfish of me to ask out of all things, but... if you don't say 'no' now, I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go."  He held in his breath, tightening his grip on the figure enveloped within his arms.  He was scared to let go, to see if this had all been a dream or not.

Her quiet laughter was his saving grace.  "After I poured my heart out to you, you still believe that I would leave you?  Even if I had even thought of trying, you still follow me everywhere I go- not that I'm complaining!" She quickly added, realizing how off-putting her previous statement could have come off.  ⌜y/n⌟'s digits moved along the nape of his neck, playing with his long, cascading hair.  It was oddly comforting to the both of them.

Her voice grew quieter as she continued.  "You're the only thing I can think of day in and out, Johnny.  You ride beside me no matter what trail we're on, you sit next to me when we take our short breaks... you're even in my dreams for goodness' sake!  And... well, when I dream of you, all that I can think of is my longing to be by your side."

Soon, the shades of both the rider's faces brightened to the color of ripe tomatoes.  They looked at each other, taking in the similar signs of embarrassment they were expressing, until ⌜y/n⌟ broke out into a fit of giggles.  She squirmed in Johnny's lap, trying to ward off whatever stupid thing was making her burst in hiccups of happiness.  Johnny's grin grew sly, letting out a small chuckle of his own as he watched his beautiful darling radiate cheerfulness.  His eyes lit like a flame, dancing in excitement of this new step in his life.

Tears forgotten.  Despair repaired.  Loneliness departed his heart.  Only joy in the wake of their newly bounded beings.  He found that this had been the most wonderful thing to have happened to him.  To have met this ravishing rider, fallen in love, and being able to hold her in his arms with no worry.  

He found that, there was no greater feeling in the world, being by her side.

FIN.

[knollridge]

Long Day

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,583 wordcount

Hello!! Second attempt at fic writing~ thank you so much for the love on my first one, I really appreciate it ❤️

No warnings, just absolute fluff involving a rough day that (y/n) is having and how Damien helps/comforts you through it in which I may or may not have heavily projected quarantined touch-starvedness through

Enjoy!!!

——————————————————————————

Pressure builds in your head as you feel an onslaught of angry tears make their way to the front of your face.

Your skin is lit, as if by match-strike, with the dirty pink hue of heat and frustration.

Your whole body screams and you want to do the same.

But you can’t.

The toilet a few stalls down flushes and you hear the regular clicks, clatter, and rushing water of someone leaving the bathroom. Every part of your concentration goes towards suppressing what should have been a pleading and violent sob. Tears spill hotly down your flushed cheeks and you know that you’ll need more than the short period allotted for break to fix this.

But you don’t have that kind of time.

Your phone light burns just a bit too brightly on your stinging eyes as you search your screen. You have 4 minutes to pull it together. Feverishly pulling at the toilet paper roll you take immense notice of how loud the uneven cardboard cylinder makes every single turn, but choose - in an effort of timeliness and frustration - to ignore it.

2 minutes.

You grab eye drops out of your bag that Olivia thankfully gifted you last Smoshmas in an amazingly elaborate pun and dot them in each eye.

1 minute.

One last check in the mirror, and even though your eyeliner and mascara are gone, you have to call it good.

You briskly walk out of the bathroom and bump directly into Damien.

“Woah hey (y/n) I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He places an apologetic hand on your upper arm as his soft, brown eyes peer into yours.

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going” you mumble as you quickly cut the line between your shared gaze and turn to walk away from him.

“No worries! I wasn’t being as vigilant as I normally am, it’s been a long day already” he continues with a light sigh as he moves in to walk next to you. “Looks like its getting to you too, are you doing okay?”

Wanting to burst back into tears at the thought of anyone - much less Damien - noticing and caring about your emotional state, you keep focus on your footsteps and try to choose your words carefully. Right, left, right, left...

“Oh yeah I’m fine!!” your voice catches a small hitch as an upbeat persona takes over. “You’re right, it’s been a looong day hahah.” You turn your head towards him and flash a wide and almost believable smile with your eyes squinted closed so he can’t read them any further. Damien studies your expression, his thick brows coming together in question of your sincerity. A knot begins forming in your stomach as you realize he’s been looking at you without your makeup on. God, he knows. I mean, who loses their makeup halfway through the day?? It’s only a few more doors down to the conference room, I’m sure he’ll forget about it by the time we-

You don’t have time to react as Damien’s hand grips your forearm and pulls you into a small room and closes the door. You can’t see anything until you hear him flip a switch revealing a tight, three-walled room shelved from top to bottom with miscellaneous board games...and you and Damien, with standing room only, in the middle of it.

“Wai- what?” You let your arm drop away from his grasp, still feeling the weight from his hold on you. It knocks into a folding table topped with props directly behind you and as if for safety, you wrap both hands around the edge. “What are you doing? The meeting is going to start back up again soon and Ian is gonna be pissed if we show up late, especially if- if he...thinks we’re goofing off or something...” Your voice trails away as you see Damien move towards you. Leaning forward slightly, he rests a hand on the folding table, making the little space between you achingly overt. Eye-level with you now, he raises his head to look you full in the face.

“I don’t want you to worry about all that right now” he says in a low voice. “I want to make sure you’re actually okay.” Tears well up in your eyes and you immediately look down, causing them to spill to the floor. “Oh, (y/n)” Damien says in a hushed tone as he pulls you into a hug. “It’s alright, I know that meeting got really hectic.” You can’t help but to collapse into his shoulder. Each broken breath that you take feels cradled and cared for as his arms wrap tightly around you. You both stand for a minute, waiting for your sobs to subside while he lightly rubs his thumb in a circle on your back.

“I-I’m so sorry about this” you finally manage to say while wiping tears from your face. Damien loosens his embrace and places a hand back on the table, by your side.

“Don’t ever be sorry for feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. It’s like I always say, you should take 5 minutes each day to allow yourself space to just let it all out.” His gentle admonishment makes you feel more at home at Smosh than you’d felt all day. “I’m just sorry that those five minutes happened to be right now” he chuckles.

There’s something about his smile that brings on a small one of your own. “Oh gosh, I was already halfway there before you pulled me in here” you joke. “That meeting was supposed to be pretty big for me since they want me to do more with the scripts and stuff now...and it just seemed like everyone was talking over me and it was very loud and I really didn’t feel heard or understood...it was just a lot.” You think back on your initial reaction and realize you might have attributed a bit too much to the moment, but you see Damien nodding his head in understanding.

“Yeah, I noticed that you could barely get a word in and I was about to say something, but Ian called for a break and you ran out so fast, I was a little concerned.” Your mild surprise is clear on your face, and its almost as if Damien can read your mind. “You’re not as slick as you think you are (y/n)” he says with a growing grin. “First you rush off without saying anything to anyone, then you bump out of the bathroom and you won’t even make eye contact with me but I can still see that those pretty little wings that you do everyday are missing...I knew something was up.” You hope your slight embarrassment is covered by the subsiding red on your face from crying just moments ago, but you’re unable to keep a smile from appearing there as well. After feeling so invisible for most of the day, you can’t believe that he noticed as many of the little things that he did.

“You sound like a detective” you playfully scoff as you go to push his shoulder away. You end up resting your hold on his upper arm as you continue. “But...thank you...so much, for even bothering to check on me.” Your face is turned towards him, but your eyes fall to the details of his Jordans and your Converse in between words to keep focus on your train of thought. They’re so close together. “I definitely wouldn’t have made it through the rest of the meeting very well if you hadn’t. Thank you for making me feel at home.” Damien’s dark brows are tilted up towards the middle of his face, almost in confusion. He brings his hand to your upper arm as well, resting it right below your shoulder. You can feel his thumb just underneath the hem of your sleeve as he gently rubs it back and forth.

“Oh, (y/n)...that’s all I- that’s all we ever want for you. Any of us here. You’ve worked so hard and I know Ian was over the moon to bring you on as a writer...it really was just a weird and hectic start to the meeting.” You can barely fight back a new wave of tears and have to wipe a few stray ones away before they reach the ever-growing smile rising on your face. “Oh man, here you go again,” Damien teases. You let out a short laugh and try to gather yourself with tissues from your bag.

“I can’t go again! We don’t have anymore time!” You say contently, and slightly stuffed up. He can’t keep his eyes off your newfound happiness in the moment, but still takes the opportunity to rag on the situation a bit more.

“We never had any time (y/n)!” His eyes follow your smile as you laugh in agreement. “But I’m glad we made some because you deserve it. What do you say we go into that meeting and knock ‘em all out with your killer scripts?” You gratefully pick up an impression of confidence from his words and nod your head. “After you then” he says with a graceful twirl of his hand towards the door.

Your hand placed on the knob, you take a deep and thankful breath knowing that Damien has your back going into this meeting. You turn it open and can’t wait to begin sharing what you’ve created with the rest of your Smosh family.