#Every week I learn something wild hilarious or even Somewhat Traumatizing

[zorialdiamond-blog]

So I've been playing Arknights for about half a year now and I wanted to offer a non-exhaustive list of Things I have learned about the Lore so far that have stuck in my brain for the community's amusement:

- Because all the characters are called by codenames there are unironically folks called stuff like Asbestos, Cement, and Tequila

-There is an immortal talking penguin running a logistics company that raps and starts gang wars; he's not even the only creature like this (there's also a toucan and a wolf) and so far I have found no explanation for why this is the case

-Not-Atlantis exists, and they've been fighting Lovecraftian horrors of the deep for who knows how long; they took a page from Bloodborne's book to stop them and that's going about as well as the source material so far

-Angel with a Shotgun is the theme of an actual serious religion, complete with a Gun Vatican and a Gun Pope

-A long time ago a dragon god thing got split into 12 distinct people, and one of them decided the best use of her time was making shitty B movies

-Government-sponsored assassins in Not-Poland were stopped dead in their tracks by One Horse Man sitting on a bench and reading a newspaper; this person is also my favorite character and that is unlikely to change anytime soon

-One man decided to open up Not-Scandinavia to start Ikea and this was a Controversial Move

-There is a character called the Rat King in the criminal underworld of one of the cities of Not-China and he'd unironically make a better ruler than its current governor

-If I had a nickel for every gacha I played where the sky is fake, I'd have two nickels; which is not a lot, but it's weird it happened twice

-Not-France got wiped off the map and this is joked about in a collab with Rainbow Six Siege that is technically canon; this event also introduced NFTs to the setting

-The player character has canonically consumed instant noodles by swallowing the dry noodles and chasing it with boiling water at 4 in the morning

(Will probably add more to this list the more of the game I complete, I just started Chapter 8 of the main story but I keep getting sidetracked by event sidestories and the entire existence of Integrated Strategies)