#Every time I see my boy howdy anywhere I get all excited and happy

[clownsuu]

im eatimg all ur art can we feed more on howdy plz i beg im still hungry for more

At this point I feel I’m creating half of the fandom’s howdy content LMAOOO (just more excuses for me to draw my favorite worm man 😔🥄🥄🥄🥄)

Headcanon: the one apple Wally has is the old ass apple he found baby howdy in as a child

[letitgoandneverlookback]

Thoughts on the Connor Army you might wanna read before you get involved

I need to say this and I don’t know where else to say it, so here we go.

I have been a fan of Detroit Become Human since it came out. I have been following DechartGames since the beginning. I will not share more details with you than that because none of them are necessary and I’m sure this post will be met with resistance.

In the beginning, the community was small, but enthusiastic. Highly inappropriate at times towards Bryan (general thirsty comments in chat, things the mods dealt with), but generally okay. I can’t say I’m enamored of the main mods in the community since I truly believe one in particular uses the community as a means to boost their own platform and uses their association with the Decharts as a means to lord over everything the community ever does. This has been that way from the beginning, but I thought I could overlook it.

Honestly? I can’t. Because I can’t stand by and act like there isn’t some extreme cult-like behavior going on here. Do I think the the Connor Army is a cult? No. Do they act like it? Yeah and it’s getting worse.

To be clear, I don’t blame Bryan or Amelia for this. In fact, I don’t think they’re even readily aware of it because they’re just trying to make a living. I can understand that and pass no judgment over either of them. However, I do think Bryan plays favorites. Mainly to his mods or anyone who’s willing to stroke his ego over DBH or something he’s done in general. I do think one of his moderators is constantly buzzing in his ear about members of community about who’s worthy or attention and who isn’t. But whatever. Not what I’m here to discuss, though I do find it somewhat troubling.

What I find MORE troubling however, is that none of the community members seem to have any interests other than Detroit Become Human or the Decharts themselves. Their social media accounts are RIDDLED with content regarding them. Granted, one can have a social media account based around anything one likes. Fandom, business, whatever. But I’ve been around a while. I’ve seen people’s interests and personalities change to suit the mentality and interests of the group.

A close friend of mine is still deeply involved with the community and is a Twitch streamer herself. She only ever seems to post about Bryan or what Bryan’s doing. She only ever plays games based off what Bryan’s playing and gets discouraged when she doesn’t get raided or get a lot of viewers from within the community. Everything in her life revolves around this channel. Every game, every conversation, every Twitter post. Her streams sometimes function as a waiting room so she can raid when DechartGames goes live. Friends she’s had from before don’t seem to matter as much anymore. Me included. It hurts because I knew who she was before all this and I’ve all but ceased contact with her because I don’t know what else to do. 

Again, NOT blaming Bryan or Amelia. If anything, I blame the hive mentality because I’ve had other people say the same thing about losing friends to this, but I don’t know if there’s anywhere to lay blame in the first place.

I do, however, blame myself for giving as much money to the community as I have.

Because I’ve noticed something as of late and that’s the fact that if you gift sub or cheer or donate, you’re far more likely to get noticed. Which is exciting! “Hey! The guy that played Connor recognized me?! OMG!”

It was fun for a minute. It felt good. I believed in the community and the friends I’d made. I still do regarding some people. I wanted to give people access to the emotes because in all honesty, they’re clever and cute and I wanted to make other community members smile as much as I wanted to be noticed.  Fast forward two years later, though, and it kinda seems like they just want you to sub. They don’t care who you are or how long you’ve been around. Just maintain that air of false positivity and kindness and PAY.

So did I have to give out all those gift subs? No. That’s on me. But do I regret it? Boy howdy, do I.

I remember an instance where this girl’s name was repeatedly pronounced wrong. He’d been corrected a number of times on how to say it - not by HER, but by people in the chat and Amelia herself. His response to it was to look into the camera like he’d just been stabbed in the leg and said “K.” Funny way to apologize there, but okay.

But that’s what brings me to this point - you can’t speak out. You can’t have an opinion that differs from the community’s. You can’t tell jokes that the community might take the wrong way. Whatever Bryan or Amelia say, you have to (rare) parrot it. If you call bullshit on one of the mods, you get blacklisted. If they raid you and you don’t react to the raid with tears and happiness, you didn’t do it right. If you say “Hey, this is how you pronounce my name,” you get met with sarcasm unless you happen to be part of the special club cultivated by the mods.

Who, by the way, call themselves the Modfia. As in mafia. Needless to say, that doesn’t paint an encouraging picture in the minds of some and for good reason. Tweets and reddit posts get deleted anytime someone says anything remotely negative about the community. I’d even venture to guess people are scared to speak up for fear of the backlash since I can think of at least 3 or 4 people from the beginning who’ve since deleted their Twitters.

I guess what I’m saying at the end of this very long rant is that the community will do as it pleases. They can have moderators who act like enforcers and they can perpetuate forced positivity while playing games they only half care about. I just hope people learn to think about what’s going on and come out on the better end of it all. I hope Bryan finds that shy, easygoing guy that did the Heavy Rain playthroughs and call him up sometime. And I hope Amelia does well in all aspects of life. 

All in all, I’d rather see things get better instead of worse. And something is seriously rotten in Denmark. It was a good community once. There are still good people in it. Just don’t go around thinking the streamers/actors or mods are the be all and end all.

[xlovemusicalsx]

Hi!! I would love a ship for Be More Chill, Heathers, SIX and Mean Girls! I’m a super tall, bisexual, female who loves memes and musicals. I play soccer and i’m thinking of trying out for every sport next school year. I’m a HUGE fanfic addict and writes it as well, I enjoy to sing and play the ukelele, and just listen to music normally. My favorite genre is horror and I LOVE being scared. I’m in way too many fandoms to name. I really love your writing so far, and can’t wait to read more of it!!

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that, you seem really cool

I ship you with Rich!

-He actually loves having a y’all gf

-He’s a shortie so sometimes he has to go on his tippy toes or gently grab your face to kiss you

-But he’s a sucker for a height difference ngl

-He loves referencing vines with you

-Sometimes the Squip Squad joins in when you do it during lunch

-You both are just meme lords and you’re so goofy

-He buys matching “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!” goodies for you and loves wearing them together

-He also steals hoodies from you a lot

-And he takes you to horror movies thinking you’re gonna be scared and he’s gonna comfort you

-But he gets even more scared so you’re comforting each other (and squeezing the life out of each other’s hands)

-You guys go to pride events together and have a huge bi pride flag you share

-You guys are such absolute nerds together you’re actual goals

-He supports you in your decision to do a bunch of sports

-And he doesn’t miss a game, he just loves watching and cheering

-He makes signs for you in soccer because it’s your domain in sports

-You’re even the girls soccer captain and he’s so proud!!

-He begged Christine to teach him about some musicals to impress you and now he actually loves some

-He sings Dead Girl Walking with you all the time and it’s so fun

-He even cosplayed as JD and Veronica with you once!!

-He doesn’t quite understand your love of fanfic but he supports you 100%!!

-He even reads what you write for things he knows

-He loves your style and you’re his favorite author

-He’s a big sweetie and he just wants to love you

-He also steals your shirts and jackets sometimes and you let him because he looks so smol it’s precious

I ship you with Heather McNamara!

-It was hard for her to come out, and despite knowing for years you were her first girlfriend

-And boy howdy she was ALL in!

-She takes you to see community theatre and college shows, since no big theatres around around Sherwood

-She protects you from the Heathers every time one of them tries to make fun of you

-You and Veronica make fun of them together and you’re good friends

-She fondly teases you about dating Mac but she loves it, you’re so cute together

-Sometimes you give her piggy back rides because she just loves them and you love hearing her laughing and having such a good time!!

-Her favorite date spot is to a park

-Sometimes you play two player versions of sports together and just run around for hours

-She comes to all your soccer practices and games

-And she cheers so loud she has no shame about who she loves

-Heather Duke made her an outcast for it but it’s okay! She doesn’t need popularity if she’s got you

-She bought you your first ukulele! Up til then you’d been renting one from a music store, but she decided to buy you one of your own

-She loves hearing you play and makes you serenade her cheesy love songs sometimes

-She loves you so much she just is so happy to be your girlfriend

I ship you with Jane Seymour!

-You both are absolute moms to the queens

-And when the other girls all hang out sometimes she takes you along or sometimes she tells them to go ahead and goes out to dinner with you

-You console her about missing her son a lot, and it helps since you give the best hugs

-She loves listening to musicals with you (even if there’s inappropriate parts that she refuses to let Boleyn hear or she WILL scream them before shows)

-You hang out in her dressing room before shows

-It helps her calm down and chill out before performing such a hype show

-Your presence really relaxes her anywhere she goes, and she really just loves having you around

-You get her flowers before shows and now her dressing room is FILLED with them

-She likes to read your fanfic, and just ask you what some fandom references mean

-But she likes that you’re so passionate and happy, and she fully supports you

-She soon gets up to date and even helps with ideas when you have writers block

-She runs choreography with you and teaches you sometimes, knowing you’re athletic and can handle it

-She then just kisses your chin (it’s all she can easily reach) and tells you that you’d better stick to soccer

-She winks at you a lot

-Just randomly talking or walking and she just winks

-She doesn’t even know why, it’s weird but now you two dramatically wink at each other everywhere you go

-The other queens are not about it (they secretly love it)

-They’re so happy Jane found love, and will tolerate your weird behavior because of it

-You and Howard are good friends though

-You’re like a weird aunt to the queens, not quite a mom because you’re almost as memey as Boleyn, but an aunt figure nonetheless

-She loves your voice and loves when you play ukulele

-You play new songs you learn for the queens and they get HYPE

-They just love some quality music among Boleyn and Kitty screaming Allstar together

-You go out to lunches together and they get recognized and people ask who you are a lot

-Jane just says “Oh, she’s my girlfriend!” All happy and sweet and so proud that she’s dating you

-Fans normally are so happy, but there’s sometimes a weird flirty or jealous one

-It bothers you a bit, so Jane just drags you down to her level and kisses you right on the street

-The queens roll their eyes and go “Get a room!” But they secretly love it

-Your relationship is just super wholesome and sweet, and you’re just so in love

I ship you with Kevin G!

-You go to all his Mathletes competition and in turn he goes to all your games

-Everyone was surprised that you’d end up together, it was a bit unpredictable

-But once they see you interact they get it

-You send each other memes

-And reference Vine in almost any conversation

-The Mathletes roll their eyes in fake disgust but they KNOW you’re cute together

-You even teach them some sporty terms and easy techniques so they embarrass themselves in PE less often

-For that they love you so much

-Kevin helps you whenever you fall behind in math

-One right question earns you one kiss

-You also have dates watching old geeky movies

-You can see him mouth along to the words and it makes you smile

-You play ukulele for him while he raps

-And you’re both good so it doesn’t sound as weird and bad as you’d think

-He flirts with you a lot

-You just roll your eyes and give some witty remark, but you both know that you love his cheesy pickup lines

-But that doesn’t mean you have to encourage him

-Especially since he’ll do it whether you say so or not. He can tell when you don’t like it and then he stops

-You’re very in tune with each other, you can see each other’s emotions clear as day

-Which is nice because Kevin knows he can be a bit overwhelming so he likes knowing when to temp it down a bit

-He seriously loves your height. He can see you through the hallway or at your games easily, so that’s always a major plus

-And through you he learns a lot about the LGBT community (what you know considering your sexuality)

-He cares a lot and thoroughly supports you

-You introduce him to musicals and he finds himself humming the catchy tunes to himself a lot

-You even take him to see some professional shows as dates

-He gets so excited at the stage door meeting actors it’s his favorite part

-He always gets his playbill signed (and sneakily steals yours to get yours signed)

-You learn a lot from each other and you’re both so happy and so in love

[bddesu]

Howdy again

What a wild few weeks it’s been! Reading through my first few posts was sure a blast to the past. I don’t remember exactly writing most of it, but boy do I sure feel it!

Things have gotten better and worse since then, I think. Therapy is incredible. Best decision of my life. I’ve been able to recognize a lot of what causes me to feel anxious or depressed and why I think or feel the way I do. Remembering totally specific situations and things I was told when I was super little! Things I totally forgot about but that were totally ingrained into my soul! Does that count as trauma? Ha. Probably not. I’m just pathetic. It’s not like anything bad has ever happened to me. Even when things have gone wrong, it’s my fault anyways. Whatever though.

Recognizing parts of the many roots of many problems I feel like I have was very exciting and motivating at first, but realizing I sort of have to rewire myself now that I’ve figured it out is very demoralizing. And there’s always gonna be more things to figure out too. I end every therapy session with a million more things I want to talk about than the last time. Oh well. It’s progress I guess.

I’ve felt typically more stable and less psychotic-depressive-hour-long-dissociative episode-in-the-shower-y, but also a lot more alone and afraid. Maybe I’ve just been better at distracting myself. I don’t really know. It’s probably Evangelion to be honest. I loved it. It’s comforting to know that people out there know how I feel.

But that still doesn’t help me be any less anxious around others or anything. I am having a little bit of success being more vulnerable though. But it’s still really hard. A part of my brain tells me that people will reject me and I’ll be hated. Another part of my brain tells me that nobody cares enough to listen to me. I’m not worth anything to anyone. Whatever you say to someone is only gonna make them think you’re weirder than before. Why are you talking about yourself, anyways? Stop being so self-centered. Another part of my brain tells me to do whatever I want, that none of it matters anyways, so to do whatever I want whenever I want. Live for yourself. Another part of my brain responds to that, saying, “Who are you to live for yourself? Doesn’t that just mean you’re making other people live for you?” Right? I can’t be totally independent. Nobody can. But where is the divide between helping others and helping myself? Isn’t it more noble to help others anyway? Won’t you be rewarded? Won’t people like you more? If you end up miserable for it, won’t people pity you? Won’t they make you feel special? Won’t they treat you kindly? Then another part of my brain just says, “Shut up. No one cares.” And it’s quiet for maybe a second. But then another part cries out, saying “They SHOULD care! You’re amazing! You’re better than others! They should be the ones trying to serve you! People should be begging for your attention! For your approval!” Anyways. Am I projecting myself onto others or what? These aren’t really voices per se, just trains of thought I guess. Trains of thought that are always going, for every interaction, for every person, for every way I stand, for every way I talk, for every way I dress, all the time.

None of them feel like me. But they’re all still part of me, right? Or are some of them the result of things that other people have said? Other people’s influence? Is that still me anyways? Do other people determine who I am? Do I decide who I am? They still see me however they want to at the end of the day. I see them how I want to, too. Should it matter how they see me? How I see them? I want it to. I want to matter to them. I want them to see me as I am. How I want to be seen. How I perceive myself.

But then again, I’m always hiding. They’ll think I’m dumb if they see the real me, right? They won’t understand me. They don’t want me. I have no place. I’ll be rejected. Do I need a place? Do I need to be accepted? I guess not. But I really want to be, unfortunately. Why, though? People DO reject me. I’ve opened up before. I’ve been ignored. I’ve been hurt. No one has ever really understood me, even when I’ve tried to give people the chance.

Who would want to understand me, anyways? I’m not interesting. I’m not special. I can’t contribute anything to anything. I can’t add any special value to anyone’s life. I’m useless. My existence has always been pointless. Nothing but a failed people-pleaser.

Not like I have a right to be disappointed or anxious or angry or depressed or suicidal, though. It’s not like anything bad has ever happened to me. It’s not like I was ever seriously wronged or hurt or betrayed. I just got all depressed on my own, because I’m pathetic. Because I can’t do anything right, not even exist.

I’m really afraid of other people. Why? Why should they matter to me? I don’t even matter to them. I already said, I can’t contribute anything meaningful to their lives. Nothing interesting or meaningful has ever really happened in my life anyways. All that really means is that I’ve never done anything interesting or meaningful in my life, because the person I made myself into just isn’t capable of doing interesting or meaningful things! This whole post? All my thoughts? It’s all about myself! I’m so self-absorbed. I’m a terrible person.

Anyways! That’s it for tonight’s peek into what’s happening in my brain. Remember, it’s happening all the time. For everything. Ever. Forever. It’s kind of exhausting. Not that I really have a right to be exhausted. Whatever. I know that middle section was an actual catalogue of my train(s) of thought but really, this whole post (blog) was. I’m always thinking about so many things! Always! Forever! Everything! Whatever. This post might have jump started my extreme self-hate all on its own again. I forgot how everything is all my fault.

I can feel a part of me having hope. Remembering what life was like when I felt in control. When I felt happy? Was I happy? In any case, I’m scared to have hope for myself. Won’t I just be disappointed? Won’t other people be disappointed in me? It feels like too much of a struggle to even try. Who would want a person like me? I’m not good at anything except analyzing how much I hate myself, and even then, it’s not like I get anywhere with it.

Whatever. I started typing a conclusion like two paragraphs ago or something and got distracted. By myself. I just have so much to talk about about myself! Pathetic. But what a good analogy for what my therapy sessions are like! I’m really all over the place. Everything is a struggle for me, I guess . Talk about a dysfunctional human being.

But really! I wish I could just turn my brain off. Because it never shuts up. The whole “then another voice” segment? This whole post? Everything? Always going through my brain. All the time. For everything.

Props to you if you read through all of that. I really wanted you to. I want to be understood. Or maybe I just want to be pitied. Maybe I’m just manipulative by nature. Whatever. Goodnight!

[sleepibots]

(sighz) okay so

hey! howdy. its ur boy oz. i have some explaining to do :/

so obviously i’ve been gone for a long time. i haven’t reblogged anything, i haven’t even posted, i haven’t said anything about my au anywhere. and i honestly...have a lotttt of reasons for this. idk how many of my followers are still active, or even check this blog, but for anyone who’s curious i’ll offer an explanation of why i’ve been gone and where i’m gonna go from here.

but the TLDR of it is that this blog just ain’t fun for me anymore and i’m gonna be making my au into something else entirely, so that i can use these characters i’m attached to without having to pay attention to a series i truly don’t care about anymore.

as for more detailed reasons...

- life in general! i’m a busy and stressed person. i have my own personal issues, i’m a student, and even when i don’t have plans i generally just do not feel motivated to work on something like my au. trying to rewrite ghosted so many times over while dealing with all this just was not an enjoyable experience.

- i’m just not interested in fnaf anymore. i’m not. i’ve tried to keep liking it; i certainly appreciate the amount of effort scott put into the series and it’ll always mean a lot to me because of how much it’s inspired me and my stories over the years. but now? i can’t get hooked on any of the new content. i’m burned out. and trying to get involved with a fanbase for something i’m not interested in just doesn’t work...for obvious reasons.

- i cannot figure out where to go with ghosted for the life of me. and honestly on one hand i blame fnaf’s constantly changing story, but i also blame myself. every detail for ghosted, ever since i posted fritz mike n jer’s designs, were impulse made by probably-15-year-old me because i saw all these people i looked up to making really cool aus that got big and i wanted to do that too! what kid wouldn’t? but over time, i just couldn’t keep up with...just about anything. i couldn’t figure out the timeline, i didn’t know how to fit all the games in, and trying to figure out the main plotline when i already had an elaborate backstory written out for all the characters that i wouldn’t end up using, it was overwhelming. no wonder i lost interest.

don’t get me wrong. i’m so, so glad i made ghosted. i’m glad i put effort into the characters, the story, the way the world works, because it taught me so much about so many things. and these characters- thinking about their story, their relationships with each other (especially a pairing i used to talk about a lot. y’all know the one. i still love it btw), brought me a lot of happiness and helped me through a lot of things. and that’s exactly why i can’t just let go of this story.

so...basically, i’m not using this blog ever again. i’m done with fnaf, and that means sleepibots as well. i’m keeping it up, as an archive for my old stuff, but i won’t be posting. and ghosted, as a fnaf au, is not gonna be finished. consider it null and void.

but the designs and the backstory i’ve crafted for them outside of the fnaf stuff is staying for sure. i’m not letting it go to waste; they’re going to be part of an original story that...well, i don’t know what it’s gonna be, honestly. but it’s gonna be something that i’m genuinely excited to develop, as opposed to...well, ghosted.

i’m extremely grateful for the support i’ve gotten throughout having this blog. every like, comment, reblog, and ask meant so much to me, and i would not have been as motivated as i was without that feedback. i’m never gonna forget the amazing people in this community who inspired me and made it a great place to be. honestly? i’m never forgetting the fanbase in general. y’all are great. thank you. seriously.

that’s...about all i wanted to say. sorry this is so long; i kinda figured i owed people an explanation for why i’m making these decisions. i’m gonna be active on my main tumblr (belladonnalovemaiil), and my twitter (BL4CKGOLDZ) where i’ll be posting art, and that’s gonna include the story i’m working on in the future. so, if you wanna still see these characters, then feel free to follow me there.

other than that...thank y’all again for the support. i love y’all. good luck with wherever fnaf’s going now because it’s probably gonna be wild.

see y’all on the flipside!

[ghostmartyr]

Attack on Titan Episode 30

LIVEBLOG

I have this acquaintance who seems to believe that I’ve been unfairly circumspect regarding my opinion of this (and other) episodes. I am aghast (aghast, I tell you) at this ruthless judgment of how I best enjoy my cartoons.

To defang such a callous accusation, this seemed like the way to go.

(Featuring xtreme whining, manga spoilers like whoa, more whining, and maybe a few spots of joy. Who can say. I haven’t started yet, and I’ve never done a liveblog before. It’s a surprise for everyone.)

So, Attack on Titan Episode 30, “Historia.” Let us begin!

I appreciate that it starts with the opening instead of pretending that the content outside of this week means anything.

Tag your spoilers though. Sheesh. That’s going to continue to bug me every time I watch an episode from this era.

Yes, we could have given these characters with a surprising amount of lines this season something new and exciting to do in the opening considering that we’re going to exclude them from all the group shots (they aren’t traitorous  enough for traitoring, but boy howdy are they too shady to pal up with their innocent buddies), or, or... we could just go ahead and borrow animation from six episodes in and throw it through some filters.

Complete with dramatic stills. Still. The other one can have dramatic motion. She’s going to be a main character soon, after all.

It still makes me happy that the opening spends time remembering that these two matter outside of everything else that’s going on. Their dramatic anvil of emotional trauma has meaning enough to be dropped in the first minute and thirty seconds of every episode kind enough to skip flashbacks. Most good and excellent.

I like this opening on its own, too. The first one has the epic music that goes with anything, the second has the epic music and really tired anime tropes, but this one manages to grasp that the epic music belongs with suitable animation. I don’t know how it would compare head-to-head, but this one feels like a more complete work.

But enough with the opening.

Bring me the feels that I have graciously waited four years for.

Yes, good, excellent.

...

You mock me.

I don’t understand. Is there something wrong with suddenly shifting your story’s entire focus to two girls who have yet to contribute anything relevant to the plot in a season where there are only twelve episodes and the fanbase has not been reared on monthly frustration?

Why would you want to give the filler moments to characters that people already know something about and care for? How very dare.

(I have watched this before, in case that was unclear, and I don’t remember my exact reaction to this episode opening with filler, but I do remember moments of pain as the snowy boot failed to lead to the scene I wanted it to.

You cut the flashbacks to taunt me with filler, WIT.)

However much it floats about the wrong people, the snow is really beautiful. I don’t live anywhere I get to experience snow, but I like the feeling of muted emptiness it brings an atmosphere. Things are allowed to be still and quiet.

As a bunch of young recruits are trying not to freeze to death, but it’s okay. We already know everyone we care about makes it through.

Hark, the first reference to this episode’s true purpose!

(Why couldn’t Crunchyroll show me kindness and use the K version of her name? It isn’t like it’s going to matter soon.)

I am against this filler on general principle of not getting exactly what I want at all times, but Mikasa showing awareness of what Krista gets up to is always going to blindside me with feels. Mikasa doesn’t know it, but they’ve both watched their mother die thanks to the world’s malevolence, and they both latch on to the person who comes to shape their new place in life.

Neither Eren or Ymir is especially delicate about it, but when they speak their hearts, Mikasa and Kristoria hear them like they’ve heard nothing else.

Of course, that’s all based on later things, but whenever Mikasa has a scene with Kristoria, there’s this extra weight of subtextual understanding that just sings to me.

It helps that it’s mostly one-sided. Everyone in the 104th knows Mikasa, because how could you not, but Kristoria, outside of being rescued repeatedly and bargaining for certain people’s lives, doesn’t show any special acknowledgment of Mikasa.

Meanwhile, Mikasa notices Krista. She’s not the blonde or tiny one, she’s the one who sticks with Ymir--or, in this case, stays behind with Daz.

In this section of the story, Mikasa really has no idea how alike she and Kristoria are, but I like that even before she knows, she notices. ...Or maybe more accurately, some part of the writing staff notices the similarities, so allows them to be continually linked.

...I really like Historia and Mikasa’s nonexistent irrefutable bond.

Why is the OVA that has more of it not stateside when we were given the crack one.

BUT HEY GUESS WHAT THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS EPISODE’S ABOUT!

Look, look, it’s what the episode didn’t start with.

...

...

Oh help.

Excuse me, I think my heart grew three sizes and I need to lie down thanks to unforeseen feels because oh wow, this is somehow the perfect and I don’t know how to deal.

How.

Just how.

I don’t care if it’s a translation flair or not. There’s something--heck, just help.

Not “no.” “Never.”

Kristoria is a melodramatic stubborn moppet and what even.

You’re dragging a dying body through the snow. Be less perfect.

Ymir, of course, continues to talk, going through all the reasons why a dead body is going to be involved in their night--because some titans get their energy from sunlight, and some get it from pointing out as many inconvenient truths as they can in the space of a single conversation--and Kristoria, of course, continues to be perfect.

I swear, my favorite part of half of the training scenes between these two is that Ymir spends most of her time rightfully criticizing every single thing Kristoria does, and after the initial confusion, Kristoria just refuses to listen.

She puts up a good fight, and can talk with shining eyes about Sasha choosing to be herself regardless of her word choices, and play the heroic role of still believing that there’s a way out while she’s basically in the middle of a suicide attempt, but she is so, so wrong.

This kid is so wrapped up in whatever role her head thinks she’s playing that she listens to her common sense maybe about half as much as any rational person would. Then she uses whatever’s left to try and defend herself to Ymir, because Ymir has the nerve to suggest that she’s thinking about as little as she actually is.

And good grief I just love this scene.

Because yeah, she’s about ten seconds away from being bashed over the head with how unproductive this all is, but look at that face.

The anime version is going with a lot less dead eyes here, and I should and will maybe find time to complain about that, but what it’s turned so horribly glorious is Kristoria’s overall tone when she starts telling Ymir to get lost. It’s downright mocking.

Also fake.

So, so so so fake.

Yet somehow, one of the genuine things Kristoria does as Krista. She doesn’t try to convince Ymir to save herself with a warm smile and proper actions; she plays Ymir’s own game and taunts her into wanting to leave Kristoria and Daz behind.

Kristoria’s basically given up at this point. She’s marching in the middle of a blizzard tugging a pre-corpse behind her, and I don’t think she considers her own life to be in better shape than Daz’s. They’re both dead. Game over man, game over.

Ymir’s outside of that picture, though. Ymir’s heart is still beating, and she obviously doesn’t want to stay, so why should she stick around and watch all of this misery?

This is the early version of how Historia always negotiates. Whenever there’s something she wants, she picks her arguments based on what the other person will find convincing, not necessarily her own logic for making a case.

So with Ymir, she chooses to be obnoxiously cocky about her chances.

(help.)

The manga has this byplay so much quieter, and you can see so much more of Historia from the next arc coming through, but Kristoria makes affected arrogance look damn good and why why why.

WELL NOW THAT’S RUINED, ISN’T IT.

Tough break, Kristoria. You’re going to have to earn being cool from now on.

The anime does such a good job of this moment.

What always gets me in the manga, and what carries over here, is the look of pure horror on Kristoria’s face when Ymir puts words to her thinking. When it’s said out loud, it sounds horrible. She isn’t trying to save someone’s life. She’s given up on Daz.

I don’t think the jab about giving up on herself hits that hard. Kristoria’s a suicidal mess.

But Daz, he who spends this entire scene basically being treated like a sack of potatoes by both of the people responsible for his eventual survival, is a life Kristoria cares about. I think a lot gets lost when that isn’t taken under consideration.

She doesn’t mind killing herself. But what hits is that her resignation regarding her own life has crept out and threatened someone else.

Kristoria’s been responsible for death before. It terrifies her.

Before Ymir draws it out, I honestly don’t think Kristoria has any idea what she’s doing here. Her own life has never mattered to her. Daz’s fate is pretty much inevitable. She’ll stay with him until the end, and put in the token effort, but they’re both screwed, and deep in her heart, all of the talk of third options and hope is a lie. The only thing she can do is keep Ymir from being taken by the hopelessness as well.

But giving up the way she has means that she’s hurt Daz’s chances of survival beyond what they already were. She never asks for help. She just accepts death and carries on walking straight into its embrace.

And when Ymir says it, like this is all on purpose, Kristoria immediately denies it.

She does not want Daz to die. She thought herself a witness, at worst. Not his executioner.

Like I said earlier, Kristoria just does not think about this. Her fatalist tendencies take the wheel and drive her off a cliff that wasn’t even on the route.

So when she’s made to think about what she’s doing, and when she sees, for the first time, where it’s landed her, she’s horrified. She’s a screwed up mess, but she isn’t intending to get anyone else killed.

There’s no denying that that’s where she’s sitting, though.

This is so well done. It’s... this is one of my favorite scenes in the series. Most ones involving these two are, but these moments make such strong use of silence. There’s nearly a full page of beat panels after Ymir starts this conversation, and the tension and the swirling snow stand out even better in a medium dependent on motion.

The world stops when Ymir calls Kristoria on her actions. They’re probably all going to die, and in what Kristoria is thinking will be her last moments, the deepest part of her soul is on full display, and she can’t come up with a single way to defend herself.

She’s out of hope, doesn’t have a sense of self-worth to begin with, and Ymir is confronting her with every sordid detail of the life she wants to forget.

...That part’s me skipping ahead, but look, that’s the mood. Just this lost little girl in the snow wondering how the hell she’s fallen so low.

...While Ymir continues to make it worse.

Because why not. Blizzards are a great time to chat.

(Daz ends up dependent on the two people with the some of the strongest saving-people instincts in the series, and he still nearly dies because they only know how to have honest conversations if death is nearby. That is his purpose in this scene. He is the conversation starter.)

"Hey, you’re about to kill a guy, but btw, I am totes not a thief.”

Who are you trying to impress. I mean, Kristoria, obviously, at all hours of the day, but even at this point she knows you too well to buy that you’re too morally pure to steal things when you’re starving.

Also, there’s that blizzard thing. How are you still trying to act cool.

Oh Ymir...

That ability to instantly empathize and decide a course of action based on those feelings is a little scary, really. Because she knows the story, this girl she’s never met sends a hook through her heart, and suddenly she’s in the military.

Her gift of perception is what makes her so fun when she’s around other characters, but combined with her smarts and impulsiveness... she’s good at finding just enough rope to hang herself with.

...Yeah, meanwhile there’s you.

...

Fine, let’s be real, it’s both of you.

These two are so innocent that it physically pains me.

There is some humor in Ymir resorting to blatant lies to cover up having *~feelings~* in a conversation largely about being true to yourself (Ymir and Historia are both human disasters whose emotional maturity lingers somewhere around toddler level), especially when it’s in response to the person lying about her entire identity posing an honest question, but mainly, oh no.

Like.

No.

Ymir and Kristoria are having this dramatic conversation in the middle of a blizzard while some guy dies at their feet. They are working the tension like it’s going out of style, and they aren’t going to stop anytime soon.

They’re reaching Batman levels of extra angst.

...Holy crap, Historia’s Batman.

No no no, listen, see, she’s got the blue blood, and she’s got the piles of influence, she has the tortured dark loneliness, she watches her parents die in front of her (admittedly, one has help), AND SHE ADOPTS SCORES OF ORPHANS. HISTORIA REISS IS THE ONE TRUE BATMAN FIGHT ME.

But then Kristoria swoops in, mid-suicide attempt, and goes all angelic shiny eyes, because oh my gosh, friend??!!

She is the epitome of a kicked puppy, and it is adorable.

Unbelievably tragic, but. That is a puppy expression. Over friendship.

While Ymir tries to pretend she’s too cool to want any of that.

When she’s just as bad.

She’s not the one dragging someone’s body through the snow out of a warped sense of self-hatred and heroism only to go all doki doki over the possibility of someone wanting her as a friend, oh no.

She just joins the military because she hears a story about some girl and she can relate.

I know the episode isn’t there yet, and since we’ve been graciously spared a flashback start, it might be hard to remember. But for the sake of perspective:

Ymir is standing on top of a collapsing tower surrounded by titans entirely because she’s so desperate for human connection that she ran off looking for some girl whose first name she didn’t even know because she thought they had something in common.

THIS IS THE PERSON WHO HAS THE NERVE TO PLAY TSUNDERE ABOUT WANTING FRIENDS.

TO REVIEW.

THIS IS WHAT COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH

LITERALLY ONE MINUTE AFTER SHE SAYS THIS

“HI I’M YMIR AND I WEAR METAPHORICAL REINCARNATION BETTER THAN YOU, SEE HOW PRETTY MY BLACK AND BLUE DRESS IS NEXT TO YOUR SILLY WHITE AND GOLD ONE.”

This is a very mature conversation between two people who have been through too much and come out incredibly damaged.

It’s also two teenagers yelling at each other in the middle of a blizzard.

For instance, this is a tragic statement about Kristoria’s emotional trauma.

It also sounds vaguely like Ymir is encouraging murder.

It might not sound funny now, but give it time. Around the arc that ends with Historia killing her father, this becomes utterly hilarious.

And this... this will always hit hard.

Kristoria’s my favorite character, and that’s been the case since I first saw her. This is the arc that gives substance to that fondness, and this moment in particular is one of the most brutally cool parts of Kristoria.

She isn’t just trying to kill herself. She joins the military. She conducts herself admirably. She’s a good enough soldier to earn a spot in the top ten, even if that should more correctly be the top eleven.

Yeah, she doesn’t care about herself. Her care for others is also debatable.

But she isn’t just stumbling her way towards the quickest end. She keeps her head up and finds a way to die that looks appropriate from every angle, and marches toward it. If she had died here, even though that’s exactly her plan, and staying alive isn’t something she’s trying too hard at, she would have died on her feet, still stubbornly clinging to the heroic ideal she wants to decorate herself with.

Krista might be a fake hero, but Kristoria goes the extra mile even when she’s completely out of heart to give.

That unholy stubbornness is headed the exact wrong direction here, but it is such a cool character trait.

Ymir and Kristoria’s relationship is really just this long debate over which one of them is better at winning arguments.

I also appreciate that Ymir’s winning argument, in this case, involves throwing people off cliffs.

Sure, she’s right.

But even without titan powers I can totally see her suggesting throwing someone off a cliff as a valid way to keep them alive if it meant finding a way to prove Kristoria wrong in this scene.

She starts out wanting Kristoria to leave Daz behind. Then it turns into a philosophical showdown, and suddenly, nope, there is a way for all of us to live, guess what Krista, YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING FOREVER.

(Love yourself.)

...Whatever the anime does wrong, now and in the future, I don’t think I will ever be able to deny the extreme gratitude I feel towards whoever lovingly detailed Ymir picking up a kicking Kristoria and throwing her down a hill and into a tree.

Best love interests ever.

You three still aren’t supposed to be here, but I begrudgingly appreciate that even when Eren finds Krista creepy, he’s the kind of righteous dude who will do whatever he can for his crew, and of course Mikasa and Armin won’t ever let him do it alone.

Fine, I like the filler this episode.

“Hello, we are also here, and have absolutely no ulterior motive to making sure that Krista is still breathing. Look at how helpful and great we are.”

“We’re just good people who love our friends and need more screentime.”

For a good time, count how many times Krista is mentioned by name compared to Daz and Ymir.

You know, I feel like the full context of what happens here deserves more words.

Ymir literally jumps off a cliff to win an argument with her girlfriend, leaving said girlfriend smacked against a tree and under a pile of snow in the middle of a blizzard, all with the full expectation that Kristoria is going to be just dandy.

AND SHE’S RIGHT.

Kristoria gets a front row seat to two people she sort of wants alive diving off a cliff, and then gets to wander through the wilderness in the dead of night, blizzard raging, entirely by herself.

Just like Ymir knew she would.

...

Just because it’s a terrible plan doesn’t mean I can’t find her faith heartwarming, shut up.

I feel like this screencap accurately captures the Ymir experience in its entirety.

...I always forget how tiny Historia is.

She is incredibly tiny.

I don’t have a comment.

I just feel something in my chest.

I think it is pain.

The whimpering noises coming from somewhere support this theory.

This level of physical affection is not in the manga version help it doesn’t even make sense for their personal bubbles to be ignored like this where they’re at right now it’s just done to make a smooth transition cut so how dare you make me feel things.

Stop.

Look, see, we have a perfectly good thing here where even the idea of living under her real name makes Kristoria gasp fearfully, and that is a slice of tension that I should be able to dig my teeth into and enjoy,

BUT INSTEAD WE’RE HERE, DOING THIS!

My heart is on the floor yet somehow still doing things to me and I have complaints.

Oh good, this is better.

...Does Ymir just. enjoy jumping off high places?

This is also some epic music to get the party started.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

Speaking critically for a moment, as much as I dig the music once we’re back from the Information for Public Disclosure, I’m really disappointed in the blocking for Ymir’s initial attack on the titans.

It lasts about ten seconds, so wow get over it, but they go with more long shots than swift cuts for those ten seconds. Considering her fighting style, it feels like the wrong call. It’s impressive to watch how swiftly she’s moving from titan to titan, but some of the brutal strength of the violence is missing. Chomp, nom, move on. There are a few good shots mixed in, but the flow of the scene feels like it could have been way more intense if they’d kept close to Ymir.

Loving that music, though.

Pictured: Kristoria nearly falling from her death because she hasn’t moved a single inch since trying to reach out and stop Ymir from jumping off yet another high surface.

So. Cause of death?

Could not stop staring at Ymir.

Okay.

...I’ve been good. Very good, arguably. If Studio WIT wants to take a few liberties with micro expressions, that’s their call, and they even made one really unfair thing out of it, so I shouldn’t complain too loudly.

...

Yeah, fuck it.

SHE DOES NOT SMILE IN THIS PANEL OF THE MANGA. VERY MUCH THE OPPOSITE, AND THAT WAS WITH SIGNIFICANT LESS DAMAGE TO HER LEG.

YOU ALSO FAILED TO DEPICT CONNIE’S PANICKED STILL OF REACHING OUT WITH BOTH ARMS TO TRY AND CATCH HER. IT IS PRECIOUS AND ADORABLE AND YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.

Bertolt’s “wtf” expression is a gem, though.

This is Kristoria’s most vivid recollection of three years of friendship with Ymir.

Bless these two.

Only two people on island with knowledge of history past a hundred years ago shocked when the person named Ymir has a link to Titans.

Bertolt really does have magnificent background expressions.

I. feel personally victimized by this episode.

What always gets me about this section of Utgard is how disturbed Kristoria starts out by... all of this. It’s all scary stuff, everyone up safe on the tower is talking about how suspicious everything is, and Kristoria’s a bit of an anxious mess to begin with when it comes to life.

You can see so easily how someone who’s never had a reason to trust anybody could have trouble trusting the motives of a secret like this, and the environment is just waiting to tighten its hold on all of her insecurities.

But Ymir is still Ymir.

Even before the pieces fully snap together, and Kristoria starts breaking out of her anxious shell, she can’t watch Ymir in danger and not worry. She can’t turn off caring for her friend.

And then we just. just.

Oh help they added a montage.

This should not be allowed at all what even why are you doing this.

Butting heads and marriage proposals. And awkward drinking experiences.

That’s what Kristoria holds dear to her heart when she thinks of Ymir.

I’m fine. Fine fine fine. Fine.

Help me I love this episode.

I do not have words. They are not found. This world was not meant to waste moments talking about scenes like this when they’re there to be enjoyed. There is no greater high than Kristoria shouting off encouragement about property destruction and generally showing her deep, abiding love for Ymir by calling her an irredeemable jackass while she nobly tries to save them all at her expense.

Then WIT goes ahead and brings me back to earth when it decides to cut my favorite smile altogether. While I’m grateful for the return of my ability to make words instead of distressed noises, why. You gave the filler its dear sweet time to do whatever it felt like, and now we’re left without an animated form of the bestest smile ever.

Minus bazillion points.

Oh wait.

Waaait.

You. can’t just.

Ow?

Ahaha oh, but this is entirely the anime’s fault and ow. That... that slow hesitance of her feet before they just start going. Ymir’s being torn to shreds, and there are titans everywhere, but running to her side is such a basic instinct for Kristoria that she just... goes.

The manga captures that sense too, but the boots. That tiny little delay before she bolts.

How are you allowed.

Oh yeah, and here we have Ymir’s eyes opening. Entirely because Kristoria’s calling out to her. That’s good. That’s okay. Yeah.

If I didn’t have things to complain about like WIT turning Kristoria’s kindly request that a titan wait on eating her into the anime version of thought bubbles (WHICH SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE YET), I don’t know what I’d do.

Mikasa’s auditions for the role of Kristoria’s personal white knight just make me really happy.

Smiling Erens would, except.

Well.

Sorry about your life, kid.

....Yours too, but, uh.

Um.

...oh wow.

This can’t be how they’re supposed to spend their budget. but. This is so amazingly beautiful. The lighting is so, so soft, and Historia’s voice when she tells Ymir’s her name is one of the most gentle utterances you will ever hear on this show.

You have this episode full of teenagers yelling and being scared and making poor decisions, and so much pain, and so much violence and passion. Then the morning sun rises, and all that’s left is this tender moment between two people who love each other.

And Ymir, battered and bloody, smiling at the sound of Historia’s name.

More care than I’d dared to hope for goes into the final scene, and... yeah, wow. Thanks for existing.

So.

That’s it.

Episode over.

On the whole, I like the manga version better thanks to a few tiny details that don’t matter to anyone but me, but this is... extraordinary, and I am so glad that they were willing to take their time and let it flourish into everything it’s meant to be. Damn.

I can’t see myself doing one of these again, but it definitely had its moments (this episode hurts me), and I hope some enjoyment can be had from the transcript. Thanks for following along.

[krat395]

Asriel Dreemurr, The Ticklish “Kid” (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2 of this story. In Chapter 1, Frisk and Chara have come up with a plan to tickle Asriel and they'd like M.K. (Monster Kid) to help them. 

Undertale(c) Toby Fox.

********************************************** 

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

**********************************************

ASRIEL DREEMURR, THE TICKLISH “KID” 

Chapter 2: The Fun Begins

It is now Saturday evening and Sans has just showed up at the front door with M.K. He cracked a few jokes with Toriel and even pranked her with a whoopee cushion causing the kids to literally roll on the floor laughing. Twenty minutes later, Asgore arrived to drop Asriel off. Frisk and Chara gave Asgore and Asriel hugs the moment they walked in the house.

Asgore: Howdy Frisk! Howdy Chara! It’s so nice to see both of you. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to stay too long. Your mother and I will be heading out shortly and won’t be back until tomorrow.

Asriel: Howdy guys! I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week! I never thought this day would get here!

Asgore: Now you kids behave and listen to Sans.

Sans: Don’t worry Big Guy, they’re in good hands. Their reward for behaving is that they’ll get to hear some of my hilarious jokes and puns. I’ve got a ton of em. A skele “ton.” (Heh. That never gets old.)

Asgore: *shakes head at Sans’s pun*

Toriel: *laughs at Sans’s pun* Oh Sans, you’re so funny!

After talking to Sans for a few more minutes, Asgore and Toriel said goodbye to their children (and M.K) and left the house. The kids are now alone with Sans and all four of them spent some time with him before going upstairs to spend time with each other. Chara wanted to be sure Sans was asleep before they started, so she decided to stay downstairs a little longer and told M.K. to let her know when Asriel was all tied up. Frisk, M.K. and Asriel all went upstairs and talked briefly before getting started.

Frisk: So Asriel, how did spending the week with your dad go?

Asriel: It was great Frisk! Dad and I really love spending time with each other. I really wanted some father-son bonding with Dad and he was sure glad I was there! I do hope he has fun with Mom tonight. He’s really been looking forward to it.

Frisk: I just hope everything works out. I worry too much.

Asriel: It’ll be ok Frisk. Just remember that Mom and Dad will still love all of us no matter what happens tonight. That’s something that will never change.

Frisk: You’re absolutely right Azzy. Thank you.

Asriel: Don’t mention it Frisk. So what do you guys want to do now that I’m here?

Frisk: I’m so glad you asked Azzy. Chara, M.K. and I want to play a game. We’re going to play a medieval themed game Chara and I made up called, “Save the Prince/Princess.” I’m going to capture you, tie you up, and Chara and M.K. are going to try and rescue you.

 Frisk really didn’t know what to call the game. Like Asgore, Frisk isn’t always great at naming things. But unlike Asgore, it isn’t a constant habit for her.

 M.K.: We don’t have any costumes but we’ll get to use some cool toy swords!

Asriel: (I’ll play along. I like seeing them happy.) Sounds like fun!

Frisk: Excellent! We’re all going to take turns being captured and tied up and we decided to go in alphabetical order. Since you’re such a good sport about everything Azzy, we figured you wouldn’t mind going first.

Asriel: Not at all Frisk!

Frisk: Oh, and I was wondering… if I could… maybe… pet you… while we’re waiting for Chara. I think that soft fur of yours is just begging to be pet! So… could you… take your shirt off please? I know it sounds rather strange… but I think you’ll enjoy it.

Asriel was confused but also excited by Frisk’s request. Asriel often wonders why nobody ever lines up to pet him and his parents, even if it is an unusual request. He knows how soft his fur is!

Asriel: Frisk, that sounds really nice!

Frisk: Make yourself comfortable Azzy.

Asriel then sat in Frisk’s comfortable reclining chair and removed his striped shirt. Asriel is now sitting in the chair wearing only his pants. Frisk left the chair in an upright position and put the foot rest up.

Frisk: Comfortable Azzy?

Asriel: Absolutely!

Frisk: That’s great!

M.K.: Asriel. Even though Chara and I will be trying to rescue you, I’d like to be the one to tie you up. I’d like to practice my rope tying skills. You know, since I’ve got these news arms and all. Asriel: Absolutely M.K.! That’s what you gotta do when you get new arms. Alphys was so nice to make those for you!

M.K.: She’s amazing isn’t she!

Asriel: She sure is!

M.K., with the help of Frisk, proceeded to tie Asriel’s arms above his head and tied the ropes to the back legs of the chair. This made him unable to put his arms down. M.K. also tied his thighs and ankles together and used more rope to tie his legs to the foot rest. This made him unable to move his legs. After Asriel was tied up, M.K. left the room to get Chara and then Frisk pet Asriel while she was waiting for the two of them. Asriel loved every second of Frisk petting him and all the while, he was completely unaware of what the other kids’ true intentions for tying him up were.

Sans had fallen asleep as Chara predicted, indicating that it was the perfect time to start tickling Asriel. Chara and M.K. then entered the room and then Frisk stopped petting Asriel, for now at least.

Chara: Look at you all tied up Azzy. Can you move at all?

Asriel: Not really.

Chara: How did M.K. do with those ropes?

Asriel: He did a really good job. I can’t move my legs or put my arms down.

Chara: So that means you’re not going anywhere right?

Asriel: Nope. I can’t go anywhere. These ropes are really strong!

Chara: That is just perfect. *Has an evil grin on her face*

Asriel: Um… Chara, what exactly is going on here?

Chara and M.K.: … *walking slowly towards Asriel*

Asriel: Uh… guys? *Asriel is very nervous*

Chara and M.K.: … *Both of them are now standing right next to Asriel*

Asriel: Guys? *Asriel is even more nervous*

Chara and M.K.: *Both of them start tickling Asriel*

Asriel: Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Asriel was caught completely off guard and immediately burst into laughter when M.K. latched on to his sides and when Chara scribbled her fingers all over his sensitive neck. Frisk just sat there and watched the adorable scene in front of her. It was even better than she imagined.

Asriel: Frihihihihisk, youhoohoohoohoohoohoo guys trihihihihihihihihicked meheheheeheeheheeeheeheee!!

Chara: Sorry about tying up Azzy, but the three of us would’ve struggled to hold you down! And that would’ve just made it harder for us to tickle you!

After a minute and a half, Chara and M.K. switched places. Chara was now tickling Asriel’s sides and M.K. was now tickling his neck.

Asriel: Hahahahahaahhahahahaha!! Whihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihhihihihihihy!!?

 Chara: Because it’s fun Azzy! That’s why!

The tickling continued for another minute and a half until they gave Asriel a breather. Asriel couldn’t believe his sisters and M.K. tricked him just so they could tickle him silly. To make matters worse, they had only tickled some of his less sensitive areas and those areas are already quite ticklish. Asriel got only a mere sample of what was in store for him.

Asriel: You guys wanted to tie me just so you could tickle me? Chara, you know how ticklish I am!

Chara: Yes Asriel, I know exactly how ticklish you are and it’s just SO CUTE!

Frisk: Chara says that you’re more ticklish than me! And so far, I believe her!

Asriel: Ok, just what exactly made you guys want to tickle me all of a sudden? I’m awfully curious!

Chara: Well Azzy, Frisk and I had a tickle fight a few nights ago and M.K. here got tickled by Undyne.

 M.K.: And a week before that, Frisk and I had a tickle fight.

 Chara: We didn’t want you to feel left out.

Frisk: We just wanna see you smile and hear you laugh Azzy. And we thought this was the best way to do it.

Asriel: Well that’s a bit excessive!

Chara: If you say so Azzy.

M.K.: Let’s see where else you’re ticklish Asriel.

M.K. then started tickling Asriel’s underarms, causing the kid to laugh even harder. Asriel’s underarms are more sensitive than his sides and neck.

Asriel: NOHOHOHOHOOHHOHOHO!! NAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAAHHAT THEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHRE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

No matter how hard Asriel tried, he could just not put his arms down. All he could do was just sit there take it. M.K. was using all of his fingers to tickle Asriel’s underarms and the young boy just laughed like a lunatic the all the while.

M.K.: This is so fun!

Asriel: YOHOHOHOOHOHOOHOURE SO MEHEHEHEHEHHEHEEEHAN!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

 Chara: Azzy! That’s no way to talk to your friend!

 Frisk: Just for that, I think you should tickle him faster M.K.!

 M.K.: Gladly! *tickles Asriel faster*

 Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAAHA!!! NOHOHOHOHHOOHHHOOOHOHOHHO!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 The faster motions of M.K.’s fingers made Asriel laugh even harder. Asriel was laughing hard before M.K. tickled him faster and the tickling lasted for three minutes until the young boy was given another breather. Looks like Chara wasn’t lying about Asriel being REALLY ticklish.

Asriel: That tickles so much! I thought you guys just wanted to play a game and pet me!

M.K.: Yeah we’re pretty much just gonna keep tickling you Asriel! This is way more entertaining than playing some child’s game we made up! I’m sorry.

Chara: Your laughter is just so adorable Azzy! Besides, we’re just getting started! Frisk… M.K.… get him!

 Frisk and M.K.: *both of them tickle Asriel*

 Asriel: AHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA!!!!

Chara watched as Frisk tickled Asriel’s underarms while M.K. dug his fingers right into Asriel’s fluffy tummy, causing him to howl with laughter.

Chara: There’s that hysterical laughter I was waiting for!

Frisk was a much more playful than M.K. when she tickled Asriel’s underarms. Frisk lightly tickled his underarms using only her index fingers. She started out slowly and gradually increased the speed and number of fingers tickling him as time went by. She alternated between moving her fingers up and down and moving them in a circular pattern. M.K. is not as experienced as Frisk and Chara when it comes to tickling and often resorts to moving his fingers rapidly all over someone’s sensitive areas, which was what he was doing to Asriel’s tummy. But that’s effective too, especially on someone ticklish like Asriel!

Asriel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

Frisk: Enjoying yourself Azzy?

 Asriel: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHA!!!!

 Frisk: That’s right! All you can do is laugh!

M.K.: Wow Asriel! Your fur is SO soft!

Chara: Ooh, looks like you found another sweet spot! Hehehe!

M.K. was intrigued by Asriel’s soft fur. He had already felt how soft his sides and underarms were, but his tummy was even softer. Asriel’s tummy is also a bit more sensitive than his underarms.

Asriel: SAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHNS!!!! HELHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEEHEHEHEEHEHHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEHEHEHEE!!!!

Asriel was laughing so hard that he couldn’t even finish his sentence since he was being tickled in more than one of his many ultra-sensitive areas. The tickling stopped again after another three minutes.

M.K.: What were you trying to say Asriel?

Asriel: SANS! HELP ME!!

Chara: Won’t do any good Azzy. Sans is sleeping right now… and we all know what a heavy sleeper he is. A bomb going off wouldn’t wake him up! Like Frisk said, all you can do… is just sit there and laugh!

Frisk: Now it’s my turn to tickle your tummy Azzy!

Asriel: Oh no.

Frisk: *Starts tickling Asriel’s tummy*

Asriel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Frisk: It’s so fluffy! It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!

Frisk didn’t hesitate to dig her fingers into Asriel’s tummy just as M.K. did moments ago. Asriel, not surprising anyone, burst into laughter yet again and instinctively flinched away from Frisk’s hands as much as he possibly could. Frisk loved the feeling of Asriel’s tummy fur on her fingers and after about thirty seconds, she found his bellybutton. It was kind of hard to find because Asriel’s tummy fur is quite fluffy.

 Frisk: Hehehe! I found your bellybutton Asriel! Let’s find out how much it tickles!

Asriel: *Flinches away again* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Frisk was definitely not disappointed with the results. Asriel’s bellybutton is so ticklish that it caused him to continuously bleat in addition to shrieking with loud, hysterical laughter. Frisk and Chara’s faces turned bright red after hearing the wonderfully adorable sounds. Asriel didn’t notice because he was too busy laughing and he was also quite embarrassed that he bleated in front of the other children.

Asriel: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Frisk: (Oh that is so cute! Keep it together Frisk.)

M.K.: Woah! Didn’t know you had that in you Asriel!

Chara: (Oh my gosh, he makes the cutest noises! It’s so adorable!!)

After ninety seconds, Frisk began blowing raspberries on Asriel’s tummy. Frisk did this for an entire minute and it caused adorably precious laughter to spill from Asriel’s mouth. He also let out a few more bleats. These ones however, weren’t as loud as the other ones.

Asriel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! BAAAAAAAAH!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! BAAAAAAAAAH!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Watching Frisk blow raspberries on Asriel’s tummy reminded Chara of when Toriel used to do that to Asriel, practically causing the same reaction. It was adorable when Toriel did it and it was adorable when Frisk did it.

Asriel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Chara: (Awwwwww, my heart is melting! The cuteness is too much!)

After the minute was up, Asriel was given another break and Frisk spit some fur out of her mouth, which caused M.K. to laugh. Frisk knew some of Asriel’s fur would wind up in her mouth, but it was all worth it when she got to hear his precious laughter and bleating. Chara could barely contain herself after witnessing such an adorable sight and she nearly passed out.

Frisk: Are you ok Chara!

Asriel: What about me! I’m the one laughing my guts out!

Chara: I’m fine Frisk. Just got a little too excited that’s all.

Chara privately told Frisk what happened and as soon as she recovered, she began tickling Asriel’s ribs. Chara counted Asriel’s ribs one by one and it caused loud laughter to just POUR from his mouth. Although his movement was very limited, Asriel’s squirming was enough to make Chara lose count many times and listening to his hysterical laughter wasn’t helping either.

Chara: One, Two.

Asriel: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaha!!!

Chara: Azzy! You’re squirming too much! Now I have to start counting again!

Asriel: It tichihihihihhihihihihhihhihhihihihihihihihihhiihihihiiihihihihkles!!!

Chara: One, Two.

Asriel: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Chara: Azzy! You’re laughter’s too distracting! I lost count again!

Chara continued trying to count Asriel’s ribs, but his constant movement and laughter continued making it very difficult for her. After two and a half minutes, Chara stopped trying to count his ribs and instead dug into them with all ten of her fingers.

 Asriel: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

The tickling continued for thirty seconds until Chara stopped entirely. The highest number of ribs Chara counted was six. Chara was very surprised that she managed to count six of her brother’s ribs. She didn’t think she would make it past two!

Frisk: Jeez Azzy! I didn’t know you were THAT ticklish! Chara tickled my ribs three nights ago and managed to count eleven of them before she lost count! And I wasn’t even tied up!

Chara: I told you he was more ticklish than you Frisk!

Asriel: You guys are being very unreasonable!

Chara: Oh Azzy, you’re just so cute when you’re being tickled. Actually you’re cute when you’re not being tickled as well.

Asriel blushed after hearing Chara’s compliment causing her and Frisk to giggle in response.

Asriel: Awww thanks Chara. I think you guys are cute too. Even cuter than me!

Frisk: WOAH! That is NOT true! How dare you say such a lie!

M.K.: Are you just saying that so we’ll untie you Asriel? Because if you are… it’s not gonna work!

Chara: We all know you’re the cutest Azzy! Don’t deny it!

Asriel: *blushing*

Frisk: Awwwww, he’s blushing again. That’s so cute. But we’re not done yet! There’s still one more place we REALLY want to tickle you Azzy!

The first half of Asriel’s tickle torture was finally over but there was a spot that had been left untouched throughout the entire first half. There was definitely a reason why his legs were tied up. The worst was yet to come!

TO BE CONCLUDED...

[yahoo-shutdown-corner-blog]

Sorry Six: What's the best game day football food?

Welcome to the SORRY SIX, where each week we rank the NFL’s six ugliest teams. But first, a moment to talk about in-game dining. This week, pizza joined the cast of the ongoing NFL Protest Drama, and—hold on, you’ll get your chance to rant at me in the comments in a moment—that gives us the chance to discuss what foods belong on your coffee table, and later perhaps your floor or wall, during your home football viewing. Here’s the definitive order:

1. Pizza: The New England Patriots of in-game eating. Ol’ Papa John kicked up quite the ruckus Wednesday when he suggested that the NFL’s ratings woes were responsible for his pizza chain’s depressed sales; fewer people watching means fewer people ordering, in theory. Putting aside the political aspect of this for a second, we can all agree that there’s simply no finer gameday food than pizza. It gets delivered right to your door, everyone can shove their grimy hands into the box and get a slice, even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good, it fills you up just fine, and when you’re done you can pitch the box. Nobody’s touching pizza as a gameday staple.

(Semi-political detour: My problem with Papa John’s argument isn’t because I’m shilling for the NFL. Goodell has botched this entire mess worse than the Lions in a decade’s worth of red zones. No, I’m strongly against loud, simplistic solutions to complex problems; everyone who’s got an easy fix to the protest deal is like the clown in the stands bellowing THROW IT LOOOOONGGGGGG on every play. If it was that easy, they’d have already done it, champ.) Anyway, pizza rules. And you can eat it and feel American whether you’re standing or kneeling.

2. Wings: This is a tricky one, because if you have a modicum of talent and can make your own wings, they can give pizza a run. Ever had home-cooked, bourbon-and-Coke-glazed wings right off a grill? Damn, that’ll give you religion. The problem is that in most cases, you’re ordering wings from a restaurant, and that crucial ten minutes from restaurant’s kitchen to your hungry maw gives the wings time to calcify. You can go full Baby Driver and you’re still going to have a cool barbecue sauce exterior on your wings. Plus, they’re messy as hell, which is a real problem if you’re in your own house but no big deal if you’re at a friend’s and can just wipe your hand on the backside of a couch cushion.

3. Grilled meats: Always a hit; burgers with any cheese but American, hot dogs with or without ketchup (or crickets) are as perfect a food as you’ll find in these here United States. The problem is that grilling requires you to be away from the TV for stretches of time, and the burning meat doesn’t much care if your team is going for it on a crucial fourth-and-one. Plus, if you’re watching Red Zone, you’ll miss like 17 touchdowns in the time it takes to light the grill. Points off for in-game maintenance required for grill food.

4. A damn good sandwich: Don’t underestimate the power of a well-constructed sandwich. I’m not talking about one of those slapdash sawdust-and-Vaseline-tasting jobs from [Sandwich chain deleted to avoid angering possible sponsor], I’m talking a real, honest, fresh-cut deli meat and gossamer-thin cheese sandwich on bread that could double as a high-end king-size bed. Find a sandwich joint near you that brings some serious hero (or grinder, or muffaletta, or banh mi, or whatever) game, and pick up twice as much as you think you’ll need. You’re welcome.

5. Chips & salsa: All the messiness of wings with the added drama of a circus balancing act. Unless you’re a grounded eight-year-old sitting in the kitchen, nobody at home watches games at a full table; you’re always leaning forward on your couch and trying to cantilever the salsa down your throat while dodging the random dog that may be skulking around. Plus, everybody gets all upset when you double-dip even though we’re all breathing the same air.

6. Uber Eats: I got a lot of blowback from my line in Wednesday’s Papa John’s story about the rise of Uber Eats and other deliver-anything services; I can only assume that these poor benighted emailers don’t have the option to get their favorite tacos or pasta delivered into their waiting hands. If they did, they would’ve known just how much trouble every pizza place now faces.

7. Anything remotely healthy: Yes, yes, cucumbers and hummus are a delightful and healthy snack, and fresh avocado rolled in a turkey slice can taste damn good. But football food needs to be a month’s worth of cheat days on a plate, and that plate better be deep-fried, too. Serving healthy food during football games is a war crime. It’s true, I looked it up.

There you go. Have your own say in the comments below, if you can find space amongst all the people telling you how they’re not watching football anymore. Onward!

Not a great week for Tampa Bay. (Getty)

The Sorry Six Here’s our weekly roundup of the week’s six ugliest NFL teams. Note that this isn’t just a list of the worst teams, though being terrible is a fast route to the list. Also note that the Cleveland Browns and New York Giants are ineligible for the list until further notice due to extreme sorriness. And now, onward.

1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: What the hell has gone wrong with Tampa Bay? The men in pewter suddenly can’t run, can’t pass, can’t defend. Everybody’s favorite sleeper NFC team is now just sleeping, and everyone who picked Tampa Bay to make noise is running from that pick like rats abandoning a sinking pirate ship.

2. Miami Dolphins: So, last week Miami was lining up against the league’s second-worst offense in the Baltimore Ravens. Good chance for a win, right? Problem: the league’s worst offense is, yep, the Dolphins. Result? A 40-0 Ravens win. Miami misses Jay Cutler under center, and that’s not a sentence ever typed before in human history. On the plus side, Jay Ajayi went from four wins to seven in a matter of moments on Halloween, just like that fantasy football commissioner who suddenly “discovered” a few extra points he forgot to calculate a few weeks back.

3. Washington Redskins: For Kirk Cousins, seeing Jimmy Garoppolo go to the 49ers had to be like seeing someone else ask out the prom date you’ve had your eye on for months. Hang in there, Kirk. We’re sure a turnaround is right around the corner in D.C., just like it’s been for the last 25 years. (Related reading: this great story on Cousins and the Redskins by Kevin Van Valkenburg; turns out all of this could’ve been avoided if Daniel Snyder hadn’t been an RG3-obsessed glory-hunter in the locker room.)

4. Oakland Raiders: Nothing’s going right in Oakland right now; the team’s 3-5 and drifting farther and farther behind the Chiefs, despite that rousing victory over KC a couple weeks back. But conveniently enough, the Raiders have a big trip to Vegas planned for the future. That ALWAYS solves problems!

5. Denver Broncos: So, it looks like the Denver Broncos are in need of some better quarterback play. Let’s run through some possibilities:

(Getty Images)

No. The man’s neck is papier mache. Let him have his peace.

(Getty Images)

Hoo boy. Sure, he’s qualified, but – you know what, let’s move on.

(Getty Images)

That’d be fun as hell to see, but no, not him either.

(Getty Images)

There it is. That’s the stuff. Come on, Elway. Do the right thing. Bring him home.

6. Detroit Lions: Greatest possible home-security system in the Motor City: paint an end zone in front of your house. Nobody in Detroit will come anywhere near it! Zing!

Sorry Six Tailgate of the Week

@barstoolsports bills mafia birthday pic.twitter.com/4u0xgTpUjw

— Post Cole-lone (@colejrepka) October 29, 2017

Why? Why would you bring a birthday cake to a tailgate, especially a Bills tailgate? That’s like bringing … well, anything else to a Bills tailgate. It’s going to get smashed, thrown, stomped, desecrated … anything but eaten. Happy birthday, Bills tailgate-goer. Hopefully this serves in place of your memories of Sunday.

Sorry that Happened to You

Yes, it was a nasty, slippery day at MetLife Stadium. But still: Atlanta Falcons QB and reigning MVP Matt Ryan fumbled snaps three times, losing two, as the Falcons just barely hung on to beat the freaking Jets. Seems like the Falcons have stumbled onto a winning formula for handling a near-championship hangover: can’t blow a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl if you don’t reach the Super Bowl.

  Sorry Six Fan of the Week

Really? (Getty)

“Rain with a chance of Wentz”? What the hell does that even mean? We get it, Philly, you’re excited—and justifiably so—that your team is leading the NFL at the halfway mark. But that’s no excuse for weak-ass signs like this one. “Wentz” sounds like something yellow and crusty your dentist would discover between your teeth—“You’ve got an awful lot of Wentz buildup in here”—and you’d nod your head solemnly and promise to floss and then never do it.

Sorry Matchup of Week 9 Raiders vs. Dolphins, Sunday night: Sweet mother of mercy, would you look at this? Two of our very own Sorry Six meeting under the lights of Miami on Sunday night! When the ratings come out for this and aren’t exactly stellar—and they won’t be—don’t buy the usual “we’re boycotting the NFL” excuse. No, this is a flat-out stinkburger of a matchup, one that nobody except those with fantasy implications on the line should watch. Go spend time with your family. Or maybe see if the Dodgers and Astros will play another game.

That’ll do it for this week. Thanks for hanging; drop me an email at jay.busbee@yahoo.com if you want to yell, preach, rant, or just say howdy. Enjoy Week 9, and remember: never be sorry! ____ Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION, on sale now at Amazon or wherever books are sold. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.