#Even if You're Traumatized By The Lack of Normalcy In Your Life

[sagittastory]

#1 the state of the human mind

So, unfortunately for whoever, this is my first 'little' post. For the TLDR; essentially the post covers my thoughts on the state of the human mind (self explanatory) but also how I perceive all these different aspects of it across the board from viewpoints of medicine, religion, and psychology. In some metaphorical essence, it's my mind's science.

A lot of concepts seem to define the human mind briefly, sectioning it into levels and even four categories. All however, somewhat touch on the topic of internal versus external. Many of which are focused largely on the way a person 'performs' in front of others, or when under the implications of performance by themselves. Such examples of those implications can be (in my opinion) perceived in mental illness, or simpler things such as societal expectations; that deep, innate fear of being watched by humanity, your family or the dark.

For example:

This specific model differentiates the internal and external as ways of thought: in a nutshell, External is your autopilot responses to your environment. On the other hand, Internal is your little monologues or active analysis of your own thoughts. That's unsurprisingly simple.

Meanwhile, an accumulation of sources on the almighty Wikipedia will tell us that: 'There is a great variety of types of mental states including perception, bodily awareness, thought, belief, desire, motivation, intention, deliberation, decision, pleasure, emotion, mood, imagination and memory'. Which on it's own, frankly, takes a bit to decode for the more complex ones.

Right, so let's be honest: you probably have no idea where I'm going with this, so just incase you skipped all of that, I've highlighted this part in a nice vibrant red just for you.

I believe humans live in a constant state of questioning; be it by their subconscious or their conscious state. This so called 'state' can become 'critical', and lie on a coordinate plane grid. Rather than thinking linearly between 'good' and 'bad', (which is often what we tend to do, although I doubt that I speak for all) human consciousness is constantly fluctuating between awareness and this so called autopilot as described by many other people. Now, the ironic thing with empathy is how we assume our experiences are akin to another: that our grid has the same function. However, our x/y axis may differentiate; be it under measurements or even similar naming. You could even apply that strange mathematical concept to how people grow up in traumatic environments. Therefore, what is one state of the human mind is another to someone else. This is clearly defined in our societies understanding of "normalcy".

Normalcy is an unwritten rule that every person defines for themselves - it's simply all based on your own (or of many peoples) accumulated experiences. As most people know, normality simply does not exist: it is just what you're used to. Therefore, this idea of normalcy spreads through our communities and you know what? It has benefits as it does consequences - that's the simple equilibrium of life. Most humans are great at categorizing, and it shows in our research on the mind where we limit ourselves to these select few 'mindsets' - which I will mention is incredibly ironic as our language is mostly fluid in definition and changes overtime, therefore making these models fluid as well, alongside the additions of research that sooner or later make them particularly outdated. Fortunately for us, change is simply part of the process - although the human brain can 'mess' with that too, keeping us quite rigid. After all, we do rely on a lot of old models even now.

The idea of a 'healthy' state of mind can be a strange one, especially since everyone's mind is literally different. This is also largely debated, but most people conclude that a mind with a lack of 'extreme' thoughts is a healthy mind. A mind where one is available to change based off it's environment, and is able to reflect within the internal analysis. Essentially, what we're describing here is self awareness. Now I'd like to highlight a common problem that's common among some of the autistic and or simply self-aware community engaging in CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy). Incase you do struggle with that cliché "why am I even here" chat with yourself, I'd recommend switching to a form of somatic psychotherapy, but I'll probably mention that struggle in another post. This problem is most likely highly related to how the brain (in one sense) becomes too focused on both this idea of normalcy (in the discovery of feeling comfortable with your identity and consciousness) and the extreme analysis leads you to reject what your body tells you. Your body encompasses your emotions, and to be unable to identify the locations or fully allow your body to release these sensations as a response to your environment, it will lead to a build up of stress.

I suppose my first post didn't have much of a conclusion, nor a focus. Regardless, I have a keen interest in these things. I'll post something better next time.

[sscolariwords]

It begins with smoke.

This is nothing new from the old house with the flaking paint and overgrown lawn, at the edge of Hateno village. The youth that owns it is widely known as eccentric. A soft-spoken, polite, and very helpful young man to be sure, even if rumors that float back with the peddlers are odd to say the least. And it isn't uncommon to see smoke rising from the chimney, given his predilection for cookery in all its facets.

However, it seems to be rising from the windows as well, heavy with the stench of char.

One or two folks look up when the door bangs open, Link rushing out with a blackened skillet towards the drop-off that encircles his property, but don't investigate further. Not their business, that. Nor do they pay any mind when that girl he'd brought home a week prior rushes out after him, begging forgiveness with every with every step.

“-swear that I will get you a new one, Hylia as my witness!” she's crying, cheeks flush with mortification, “I had no idea that oil reacted that way when exposed to water of that temperature!”

“It's fine,” he replies urgently, before hucking the entirety of the skillet's contents into the river below.

“I didn't! Goddess have mercy, just once I wish something would go right for me!”

“It happens to everybody.”

“Not to you! You can just throw ingredients in a pot and all but dance themselves into lunch for-”

Her point is cut off as the door swings shut behind them both. Folks stare a moment longer, until they're satisfied that there'll be no smoke. Eccentric, those two. But again: not their business.

***

Link comes downstairs a couple days later, and finds Zelda has commandeered his table (and a large chunk of the floor) to accommodate a veritable carpet of literature pertaining to cookery and the mechanics thereof. He quirks an eyebrow.

“I'm doing research,” she replies without looking up from the three individual tomes she's glancing between, “On what exactly constitutes a 'pinch of salt'. Or 'golden brown'.”

Her host steps away for a moment, returning a moment later to set a ceramic jar before her. The princess pauses in her investigation to watch as he unscrews the cap, revealing a mass of granulated salt. She scowls as Link makes a show of offering his thumb and forefinger, pinches a small quantity of the mineral, and then presents it to his liege.

“But not everyone in the kingdom has fingertips!” she retorts, “If I were a Rito, I'd have been thwarted by the ingredient list!”

The Hero shrugs, not committed to dissuading her, before recognizing the book to her right. Not just the title; he knows its scuffed and battered cover, the missing top-right corner, from the kitchens of Hyrule castle. It had been utilized as a missile against him many times by the eternally frazzled head chef.

“I wanted something normal.”

Link looks to Zelda, who takes refuge from his inquisitive gaze in the depths of the manual. “Something familiar. Remember? When a company of knights accomplished something marvelous, slayed a Lynel or ran off a Yiga band, my father would commemorate their heroism with a great feast. After we destroyed Ganon, you cooked for me. I wanted to...”

She freezes as a calloused hand finds her shoulder, offering a comforting squeeze. “You're not your father,” he says kindly.

The Princess purses her lips and bristles, ready to give him an earful, though the words die on her lips when she whirls and finds such warmth in his eyes. She has gooseflesh beneath his hand and it lingers for a long while after he pulls away. The Hero explains bokokin have been sighted by the old Hateno Fort, and planned to “move them along”. He'd be back tomorrow. Zelda spends the rest of the night thinking on what he'd said, how such a dismissal could be meant as a positive.

When she finally happens upon the meaning, the books become pointless.

***

Link returns to find a furnace protruding from the side of his house. That's not to imply that it had been idly abandoned there, as a Hinox would drop a tree trunk. It's bolted into the wall and part of the chimney, familiar orange circuits threaded throughout the structure the stone. The Hero grimaces, scars across his body prickling in remembrance of the destructive nature of Sheikah technology.

He's even less enthused when the door slams open and Zelda comes scurrying out, making a beeline for the furnace.

The Princess has abandoned her finery, trading it for one of his shirts and a leather apron, hair in a bun and tied with the straps on a pair of goggles she must have pilfered from Purah, up the road. She's soot stained, glistening with perspiration, and whispering to herself with such manic fervor that Link wonders if perhaps he's looking at a stranger. He finds some semblance of familiarity, however, when he's able to approach within arms reach of the young woman without her even noticing him, until she whirls around and nearly barrels right into him. He grunts and she squeaks, beginning to offer an apology before recognizing her knight.

“Link!” she exclaims, face brightening instantaneously, “You're back! And with perfect timing; you need to see what I've made!”

He takes a moment to glance at the furnace again, before looking back to her, discomfort written in capital letter across his face.

“Oh shush,” she says, “You'll like this.”

Zelda leads him inside by the arm, and he would admit to being slightly relieved, if pressed. Despite the bulky addition to the building's exterior, the apparatus within is at least smaller than expected.  But though he recognizes the shape of a stove and oven, azure flames lick the bottom of the device. Curiouser still what appears to be a bugle suspended above the device, the nadir of which feeds into a container that is secured into a bellows, of all things. Before he can ask for an explanation, the Princess is shoving him down into a chair, and darting to and fro about the living, room, grabbing ingredients from his icebox, cupboard, spice rack and laying them beside her invention.

“I realized that my mistake was attempting to think like a chef,” she says, taking a skillet, laying it atop the stove, and coating the surface in oil, “All those books were written for people who think in terms of food: gibberish to me. But, once I considered the idea that I had to approach this conundrum like a scholar, then everything changed!”

She pulls a lever on the side of the oven, and the stove-top erupts in blue flames. Link hisses as the wall behind it blackens, but the threat of burning recedes with the fire and his princess reduces its spread by twisting the handle. Even at a simmer, the oil is hissing within moments, and she wastes no time dropping an assortment of mushrooms, meats and vegetables onto the pan. The heady aroma of seared beef swiftly fills the house, and the Hero cannot help salivating, despite Zelda's spiral into culinary madness.

“Artisans keep waxing poetic about the preparation of a dish,” she continues excitedly, “Using abstract terms like a 'pinch of salt'. But cookery isn't about flourish! It about knowing the liter to gram ratio before your ingredients become oversatured in oil! It's about knowing the precise temperature at which meat burns! The exact measurement of spices that produce the desired gustatory sensation!”

Zelda says this as she's loading the bugle with granulated salt. And pepper. And Goron curry spice. The list goes on, until Link is positive that the seasoning alone will be enough to burn his tongue off. But the Princess is utterly enraptured by her work, pumping the bellows like a woman possessed, chatter pouring over her lips faster than a Zora cuts through water.

“This is what I've been missing!” she cries, throttling a massive switch Link did not remember being there yesterday, “No magic swords, no divine intervention! I'm talking about practical solutions for everyday problems; I'm talking about SCIENCE!”

To say that she's laughing as she heaves downward on the massive handle would be too small thinking. The Princess cackles, a frenetic peal of mirth and triumph that drives hordes of nesting birds skyward in absolute terror. Of course, there's also the fact that the entire house quakes when she activates the bugle, the spices hurtling through the tube at speed, until they collide with the contents of the skillet with force equitable to a missile. The oven splits in half, the pan flips over, and the ingredients are catapulted everywhere with startling velocity. Zelda's laughter becomes a shriek of terror and Link avoids braining only by diving backward over his chair. The air cracks with the sound of breaking glass, breaking ceramic, weapons clattering to the floor along side pictures and pottery as the culinary projectiles hit everything. The scent of cooking food drifts off through the windows, and the room falls to stillness as both parties wait tenuously for another eruption. Then the Princess sinks to the floor, glowering at the room.

“Oh, that's right,” she grumbles, “ 'Normal' is synonymous with complete failure. Welcome home, Link.”

The Hero stands, regarding her silently, before bending down. When he rises again, he has a glistening mushroom held between his thumb and finger.

“Oh, come now,” says Zelda, “You don't want-”

But considering how quickly he pops it into his mouth, he apparently does. Her knight takes a moment to regard the flavor, chew it a bit. Swallow. When it's gone, his smile could have melted Hebra.

“Yum,” he tells her, “Thank you.”

The Princess blinks, reaches for a reply but finds nothing, settling at last on matching his grin tooth for tooth. Link pulls two apples out of his rucksack, offers one to Zelda, and then drops down to sit beside her, both of them surveying the absolute mess the house is in. Maybe this isn't normal. But it might be better.

[indiemovies]

god yeah <3 sometimes i think about nancy wheeler so much that it's embarrassing. if someone infiltrated my mind half of it would be her !!

so true !!!! if anything, the gun is more of a physical, blatant reminder to the people around her that she's a quick thinker but knows how to defend the people she loves in the case that they can't think their way out of things. i think that if things had played out differently, if barb was killed in an ordinary way/went missing, and there was no upside down, nancy would still end up on the journalism career path, just without her guns

oh god yeah time travel and time travel adjacent things,,, that would be so cool. and terrifyingly traumatizing for all of them, but they could Definitely Go That Route. "when they defeat it and she's able to shower off all the dirt and grit and put on a newly pressed outfit and fix her makeup but even with that veneer of normalcy she can't pretend to be regular or really exist outside of a state of terror" GOD. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. YOUR MIND !!!! that's exactly what she's doing and it kills me to a) see that they hardly explore it in canon and b) note that the fandom is seriously lacking in nancy exploration deep dive psychoanalysis content. everything that you're saying,,, literally god tier. there was a line in a fic once that was talking about how some part of nancy feels like she's only of use when this supernatural danger comes knocking and. i can definitely see that playing out. nancy being untethered, trauma preventing her from moving on (for a while, preventing her from going out and actually getting anywhere in her relationship with steve, and eventually the stagnation builds up like a dam and everything she was trying so hard to ignore comes crashing down around her), and nancy completely surrendering herself to things. grades and partying and getting into her dream college and building a future with jonathan and interning at the post and becoming a journalist and whipping the school paper into pristine shape etc etc. point being ! the only time she feels alive anymore is when she lets herself be consumed by things and pulled along with the tide, and it's in no way healthy but. when she's making plans and knowing where everyone is, when she can plot out a course of action and know that everyone can work on the same wavelength as her, that's when she's most comfortable. it's a little backwards (a little upside down lmao). and you're so right, dw it does indeed make sense!! i would love to spend hours just,, observing nancy wheeler. picking her brain and whatnot

ROBIN CAMEOS IN THE SPINOFF UNTIL ONE EPISODE SHE BECOMES A REGULAR CHARACTER AND THEN NANCY'S LIKE WELL IT'S HONESTLY MORE CONVENIENT IF YOU JUST TRAVEL WITH ME YKNOW. RENT AND GAS MONEY AND PHONE BILLS AND ALL THAT. i gotta admit i haven't seen x files but i shall take your word for it !!!

A FAILFAMILY THAT. THAT SUMS THEM UP SO WELL. like a. like a goddamn snowglobe,, perfect picture family stuck in a world,,, shake them up and down,, drop it on the floor pick it up they're all broken,,, drowning in their own life,, combusts and dies actually.

byler ronance found family friends to lovers not actually unrequited love angst with a happy ending !!! all the best fanfic tropes and the funniest (not really) part of it all is that they're never gonna be canon and happy... but anyways yes. nancy "smh when will my brother realize he's in love with his childhood b(s)f" wheeler -> nancy "oh. oh my god i'm in love with MY friend" wheeler character arc

HSDFHKLJDSJF YEAHHHH. ngl their energy was kinda unmatched. the monster hunting trio is a better ship/friends-but-not-"just-friends"-friends-like-it's-just-sm-deeper-than-romance name than stoncy though. i'm sorry. monster hunting champage?? i do not know what you mean but absolutely i agree <3

MHM all of them really,, how can you possibly date someone who doesn't know about all the stuff they've had to go through how could you explain that your best friend was snatched by an interdimensionally travelling monster and in the same moment, your innocence and childhood were snatched from you (and oh actually. don't like stancy but the symbolism of nancy losing her virginity at the same time she without realizing it lost her childhood through losing her childhood best friend... that was quite literally the last time she had her full-on adolescence and purity i am. not okay) and try to cover it up as my best friend died because of a chemical leak and i feel guilty and like a fundamentally bad person because of it?? so yeah. nancy and robin should date lmao

YEAH. she's so fascinating and has so many different facets and depths and everything... the most character of all time

SAME !!! and it really does help to write down all these things so they don't just float around my head and eventually break off into dust particles. I LOVE YOU AND ALL OF YOUR REPLIES AND BRILLIANCE AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY,, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE MOST RIGHT PERSON EVER

LMFAO GOD REALLY SAW THE DISASTER THAT WAS THE WHEELER FAMILY AND WENT YEAH NO THAT HAS GOTTA END. sorry holly <3 perhaps you should begin considering reverse disowning and find a more normal family before it's too late...

yes gun metaphor!!!! nancy doesnt just own guns she IS the gun!!!! i totally agree, nancy had an inquisitive quality from the start and i think her dedication to justice and curiosity are such core tenants of her. barb was maybe an inciting incident that brought them to the surface more quickly and to a higher intensity but they would've come up no matter what!!!!

"the only time she feels alive anymore is when she lets herself be consumed by things and pulled along with the tide" SCREAMING AND CRYING AT EVERYTHING YOU SAID IT'S SO TRUE it's so true!!!!!! i honestly dont even have anything to add because you the hit the nail on the head so well....im just going to be rereading that paragraph and muttering "WOW" under my breath for weeks now

what do you mean ronance isn't going canon???? LOL jk. i wish there was some brave soul who would make a 300 slide presentation about why and how ronance will be canon. i would love to be delusional about them. but also!!!! them being real genuine friends before getting together is so special too....like they're friends now but i mean friends even when the world isn't ending. both of them realizing they want to spend every day together....robin dialing nancy's number without even thinking and when nancy answers she realizes she doesn't even know what to say, she just wanted to hear her voice. that kind of comfortability that you just accidentally fall into.

HONESTLY THE RONANCE SUPERNATURAL DETECTIVE AGENCY JUST WRITES ITSELF!!!! i dont know if the x files of it all works too much, but nancy's kinda skeptical and robin believes in bigfoot so!!!!! something of a dynamic going on there

THE WHEELER FAMILY ROTATES IN MY BRAIN ON AN ENDLESS LOOP for like the opposite reason that the byers-hopper lives in my brain forever lmao the wheeler suck so much <3333 they're literally. a haunted house with a picket fence yeah.....a broken snowglobe on the ground YEAH. i cant wait for the apocalypse to disrupt the HELL out of them.

OMG I WAS JUST REFERENCING THAT ONE POST that was like "when [some ship from legends of korra] becomes canon we're popping the biggest champagne bottles" and then they didnt become canon so someone made a post that was like "for sale: [ship] bottles. never popped" LOL it'sjust funny to me the way people were sooo hyped for stoncy only for like. nothing to come out of that (we were robbed!!!) but YES i totally agree i have been so on board with the idea of all of them as friends but like friends who are all extremely obsessed with each other and see each other constantly

LITERALLYYYYY yes everything so much. especially what you said about nancy literally losing her adolescence in every way that night. i think shared experience and "being in the know" is so pivotal to so much of stranger things but especially nancy. i know i'm just retreading everything but yeah she literally has no close friends at school or anywhere!!! even her family, even mike, who she knows understands at least a little bit, she can't talk to because he was never actually in the upside down and his best friend came back.

she's like a rubik's cube that is so impossible to solve and i love that about her!!! it's so real that she has contradictions and growth and isn't as perfect as she wants herself to be AHHHHH i love love love talking about her with you<33333

I NEED TO SEE THAT WHEELER HOUSE GET SUCKED UP INTO AN UPSIDE DOWN HOLE POLTERGEIST STYLE!!!!!!!!!

[theveil-and-thepath]

Hello~

I am in a tight spot in a way. Two people that I love dearly are fighting again (they have never stopped lol) and things are getting really ugly. They're both imperfect parent figures for me and I just feel so torn and devastated by it all. I don't really have anyone to talk to this about. Mostly because I don't have an objective view of it since I care deeply about them. This has already given me so much trauma... I find myself preparing for more.

Could you tell me if this will ever reach any resolution? Will going to their separate ways make them happier? Will I find any peace?

I apologise if this is not the best time for you to hear this. But honestly, this feels like the only safe space I can access right now. Thank you for that. :)

Hi dear! I hope this reading will arrive to you in a good moment. It's a bit long, so I'll cut it here.

Hi dear! First, I'm sorry for how long I made you wait for the reading. I hope things are a bit calmer right now, even if I know that these situations rarely have a quick fix. I was thinking of how I can make the reading be helpful and I'll try a Person A, Person B and you type of reading so I can check everyone.

First, I get a feeling that you have been trying to do something, like suggest any of them that another way can be helpful but you feel your words are not loud enough because they don't hear you, or one of them simply rejects your suggestion and it's like a wall. The way you feel right now is like a child in the cold uncertain of the future. I sort of feel there can be another marriage, like someone re-mary and another person/or the same finds a new religion and sort of becomes religious or moves to another city to really stay away. Like they would need something to move on, either another person or a new belief or a new place and they would not let go of eachother until then. But I will ask the cards about the dynamic, if it doesn't resonate, please ignore, I don't want to say anything that can lead people in the wrong direction.

What's the root of A's problem with B? (7 of wands, 2 of swords, the empress)

B doesn't let A grow, there's constant opposition that leaves A in a situation they feel can't do anything or there will be undesired consequences even if it's a simple thing. It can be something "petty" like not let another person get expensive food because it would spend too much money, or challenges about life decisions and opinions. But the thing is A can't act without B interfering in a negative way and it affects A's mind because after every thought A already knows what B will say and think so it makes A's thought process inhibited and leads to A being annoyed because it feels nothing ever flows easy, nothing ever comes their way the way it should and then B is to blame.

What's the root of B's problem with A? (queen of swords, temperance, 8 of cups)

I think B is the one who's gonna leave tbh. But reading the cards as the answer to the question, I think B thinks A is cold, leaves them hanging, never gives attention the way B wants. B doesn't feel like A really cares at all, that's basically it. Still, I think despite B thinking A doesn't care about them, it's B who will be fed up and quit first. I thought as the person who initiates going separate ways, breaks the connection first. I think one of them drinks because of this situation, I don't think it's excessive to the point of addiction, but one drinks.

How do A and B perceive it affecting C and how C really feels being in this situation. (nine of pentacles, the tower, five of pentacles)

B is much more aware of the trauma you're getting from this, B knows it's traumatic and altering your life and I think B wants you to come with them after all of this, leave this together. You really feel like the kid out in the cold. I'm often sad with the five of pentacles in these cases because the feeling here is of deep abandonment and lack not only of attention and affection, but of the normalcy of a life you want, like it affects sleepovers, the kind of chat you can have with friends, and i think even other things life feeling supported in life plans because their focus in on themselves and that situation seem to demand more attention than you. From A's perspective I'm not sure they're aware of things how they should. If I'm honest, I think A is the "loudest" person in the situation while B is a bit more patient and tries not to let things escalate or tries to keep things "civil" like focusing on words when they disagree. A just sees you as someone who's doing your thing, you're just there, like A thinks you're self centered and ignoring the drama as much as possible. B is a bit more worried and you're feeling hopeless.

Will this ever reach a resolution? (8 of cups, the sun, the hierophant)

Yes, it will. Someone (I think B) will leave and someone will marry or find new faith in life. I do think there is someone really leaving to go live their best life, maybe after receiving an invitation to work elsewhere or have a position of some sort (like going from teacher to headmaster). I can be mixing the people here and how each of them feels, but I'm fairly certain that someone will leave and it will be for the best. I don't know about time, but it doesn't feel super fast like next month, but shouldn't take years, it's like the decision will come first and there will have to be arrangements before things really change.

How would A, B, C be after a separation? Will they be happy? (ace of swords, five of pentacles, five of wands)

I think A can be the one who feels they have the smallest changes to make (but will feel alone and incapable of doing much about it), while B and you feel the struggle the change leads to. Like maybe A earns more money and is more comfortable, but B, even having money, feels the impact of being lonely and not sharing burdens even if B can feel more in their power, better in their skin. You at first can feel the impact as well, like dealing with how B will be after the separation can be difficult because B will be going through a major shift in life and being closer to you you probably will talk more. Or you will be fine with B, but it won't be easy to talk to A if you have to. I don't know your age, but in case you're young maybe you'll go to college one or two years after they go separate ways/ or you move because you get a job? I'm not sure, but I thought of that. It's like you'll have more control of your life, you'll head somewhere. I have the impression this situation is weighing more on you than you think and after it gets a bit better it can unlock part of your life.

There's one thing though. I do think there is a chance things get better without anyone leaving, but I think it can take more time and require them to remember why they're together in the first place and leave each other some space for independence. I focused on leaving because I got this mid reading too, but maybe it's a thought and things get better without being apart. Plus, I think even if they go separate ways you can still have contact with both, I don't think that will change, boh will talk to you I think.

Just a note: if you get this reading and feel like giving feedback about it resonating or not, you can request me not to post the feedback and I won't, or send a reply in private if you're off anon.

Again, I'm sorry it took me this long to do this reading. I'm also a bit fearful now because when I asked if I should post this reading (since it's a sensitive topic) I got the five of swords and the strength card (it happened twice and I got the same cards) so i'm not sure how this reading will impact you and I don't want to cause a mess in your thoughts. So please, do remember this reading is based on the energies of the current moment and things do change (i've seen things change because of people's actions) or at least alter to a point they're not as harmful or are felt and dealt with with much ease. So I can be plain wrong, and things may very well change too.

I wish you all of the best, and thank you so much for trusting me to do this reading for you <3