#Even Ty Lemon would do a better job than the 13 year old earthbender

[ask-ozai]

What are your thoughts on Mai and Izumi?

I have known Michi's daughter since her earliest childhood, ever since Zhao had the idea that having our children compete in baby races was the best way for them to start developing their skills. Michi almost always won, because she had the most efficient baby. Sometimes Zhao won, because he had seven babies to participate with. I always lost, because I only had Zuko and Zuko was more interested in chasing the turtleducks than developing his skills. And when I finally had a baby I could win with, Zhao and Michi's babies were already able to walk.

I always had the impression that Mai had inherited her mother's efficiency, though she was evidently even more serious. I cannot think of a time when she was anything but a perfect Fire Nation citizen (except when she betrayed Azula, but that was Zuko's fault for brainwashing her). Azula's other playmate, Ty Lemon, was prone to spontaneous crying and tantrums, and was always trying to get people's attention with her bad jokes (why Azula wanted to spend time with her was a complete mystery). But Mai was completely different. She was composed and elegant, and when she started throwing knives she became the second most popular girl in the court after Azula.

It was always evident that she also harbored romantic feelings for Zuko. I never knew exactly why until Azula told me the story a few years ago. It turns out that when they were kids, Zuko had the brilliant idea of hitting her on the head to cause her brain damage and convince her to be his girlfriend. So after making up some excuse about a shuriken and an apple, at ten years old Zuko pushed her into the fountain and Mai hit her head. 'Hahaha now you will be my girlfriend and I will use your talents to further my ambitions,' said Zuko, in front of Azula. 'Oh Agni, I'm head over heels in love with you now,' replied Mai.

And that was how Zuko got a girl who was totally out of his league. I almost could not believe it when Azula told me what happened. Zuko had had a brilliant idea. I even thought about doing the same with Ursa, but I didn't have time, because soon after Iroh decided that his whims were above common sense and Lu Ten died in a stupid attack that anyone with half a brain could have prevented. I wanted to make plans to arrange a future marriage between Zuko and Mai, in the hope that she would teach him to be more useful, before she inevitably recovered from her head injury.

Unfortunately Zuko did too good a job brainwashing her, because she was still in love with him even after Zuko broke up with her with a letter to join the Avatar's paramilitary terrorist group. Why didn't he think of taking her with him? What was he thinking? The young lady is a human weapon. That boy can't even plan a coup properly. And as a result, she became a traitor and Azula had no choice but to lock her away until she regained her senses.

But now Zuko is Firelord, and you would think he would finally do the smart thing and marry her, right? Well, no, because the girl finally healed from her head injury and left him. Good for her.

And I don't know who Izumi is, but I guess she's the daughter Zuko will have with her in the future if by some miracle he convinces Mai to give him another chance. Only Zuko would name a baby 'Fountain'.