#Erwin Smith angst

[riewritten]

「 MERE DROPLETS CAN STILL MAKE A GLASS FULL 」 • AO3

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N

˚ · .─ SYNOPSIS: Despite blatant awareness of how much you hold him with affection, he will rely entirely on subtleties because he believes it's the farthest he must go. He'll keep doing just that until it piles up, up and up and up, until it brings Erwin on the verge of exploding. After all, mere droplets of water can still make a glass full. | READ CHAPTER 1 HERE

˚ · .─ WORDS: 3.5k

˚ · . ─ TAGS: age gap, angst because of the age gap lol, erwin is a professor/researcher while reader is his research assistant, touch-starved idiots

It was as if your creator just built you to ponder on nothing but the hypothetical—never satisfied, never quenched. Even right now, as Erwin is on the other side of the chaotic welcome party for you and your fellow exchange students, you cannot—for the love of god—settle yourself. Amidst the energy these new people offer before you, you find nothing but exhaustion for fooling yourself. Seeing Erwin, not a country away from you, so reachable, and yet your greedy ego could still not be quenched, made you realize that coming here will never be enough. You need to hold him. You need to be at least an inch apart from his face. Only now did you realize that Levi could be right all along. Following Erwin would do nothing but make things harder.

“So, for the last part of our welcoming party…” 

He needs to know how aware you are of his occasional glances at your table.

“We present our new people to the faculty!

He needs to know your desperation to return the glances he’s been giving you since this damn party started. 

“First off, our exchange students and researchers!”

You think of going home but are unsure if the ‘home’ in question is your new unit in this country, or perhaps—much to Erwin's relief—your homeland.

“One of them still hadn’t adjusted to the new country air, I see!” 

Chortles fill the bar, only then do you realize that the host is talking about you. They’re calling for the newcomers to come up to the stage and introduce themselves. You're the only one who didn’t stand up, lost in the abyss of your repressed yearning. However, just as you’re about to apologize and indulge them, a newcomer whispers to the host.

“Oh! Uh-huh… I get that, I get that,” he nods, then turns to you. Mic on. “Adjusting might indeed take some time, so don’t you worry and just sit well!” 

You curl your eyebrows, unaware of the newcomer's name who whispered to him about your situation. How did he manage to explain it on your behalf when you two don't even know each other?

“Everyone here went through the same, after all! Isn’t that right, folks?" Then the crowd laughed along with him. The girl beside you pats your back in sympathy, then says something along the lines of, "We cried every night for the first three months. It’s okay! We’ll help you adjust.”

Just with that, the newcomers who came upstage were brought back to their seats.

How lovely, if one might say, but you couldn’t feel anything but confusion.

Not long after, the man who whispered walks to you. “Hi, Moblit here,” then reaches his hand, casual, poised, acting as though he's been a longtime friend. “And you are…?"

You certainly had never seen him before. Even way back in your country.

“Ah, apologies. I know you’re wondering what I said to the host who excused you from the newcomer spotlight. Is this seat taken?”

“Indeed, I am surprised,” you chuckle and nod at the spare chair beside you, “and nope, not taken at all. Come here. That’s the least I could do for you after saving my ass back there.”

Moblit chuckles, then out of courtesy, offers a glass before starting. “You were Mr. Smith’s former research assistant, right?”

You almost drop the glass he just filled. Luckily, Moblit’s a bit tipsy to notice your change in demeanor. “M-mr. Smith, you say?”

Moblit hums, “He told me a lot about you, even before you came here.”

So that was the answer. Plain and simple.

“How did you know him?” Your own question immediately drenched you in cold regret. You don't want to talk about him anymore, not when you're yearning so much. Perhaps Jane Austen was right; if one loved the other less than they did, then maybe they'd be able to talk about it more.

“Let’s just say I became your replacement.” Replacement? You almost roll your eyes. “Mr. Smith often tells me he never had a research assistant as capable as you are until he hired me.” Go fuck yourself! “I must admit, reaching the standards you had set for him was quite a challenge.” Because I wasn't supposed to be replaced in the first place!

Suddenly, you feel like you’re five years old again, experiencing the first time you’ve ever felt betrayed by someone outside your family. It feels so petty. Disgustingly petty.

“He’s not very talkative back then,” you trailed, trying to conceal the reeking insecurity by stating a thing you just realized; “I wonder what made him tell you details about me, let alone my tendency to get overwhelmed in crowded, noisy, and new places.”

As if you're competing with Moblit right now and you vehemently deny that you're really replaceable—that the one man you couldn't even get to forget would easily find someone else if he needs to.

“Well, I remember most of his stories because he narrates them entertainingly. You can say we have the same level of homesickness, too, so we instantly clicked despite our age differences."

You hold onto your glass harder, thinking of ways to divert the conversation, because now your mind is flooding you with repeated screams of, ‘Alas, you’re actually not that special! Get over it!’ that it makes you want to bang your head on the wall. You’ve never been this immature before. You, for the longest time, have practiced the cadence and poise of people beyond your age.

Or, perhaps, it was just your mind taking its silly little revenge for suppressing the feelings you thought were unfitting of your character—for fooling everyone including yourself.

"You see,” Moblit calls your name, “the majority of the fellows here, newcomers or not, had Mr. Smith as their mentor while on their master's degree. That's how prime he is."

You’re actually not that special. Get over it. You’re actually not that special. Get over it. You’re actually not that special. Get over it.

"Did Mr. Smith also tell you how he discovered my tendency to get overwhelmed in crowded places?"

"Sort of…? Earlier, he tapped me for a favor. He said you're the former assistant he always talks about. Then he asked me to accompany you amidst the noisy room. He didn't expound," he chuckles then, “it makes me feel special! Seems like I’m entrusted to a task only I could do.”

Years ago, when you went on a fact-finding mission with Erwin and had a night out with the community members, no one but him sensed your tense demeanor. He excused both of you from the crew under the guise of getting some stuff from the van. Only then did he bring you to a much quieter place, place an ice-cold can of coffee on your cheeks, and instruct you to breathe.

The memory intensified the yearning. What if you just pretend nobody else is in the party-riddled room but you and him? In a circumstance where you could run and touch him in a way you'd like to, and no hint of bother would be plastered on his features? 

Your glance, after painstaking hours of holding it in, finally lands at Erwin this time around. And much to your surprise, he's actually staring at you just the same. He averts it quickly as if caught busted, then chugs down his glass before indulging in the professor beside him.

You chugged down your glass too, not minding the immediate woozy feeling it brought. Perhaps the alcohol would lessen the petty, petty yearning.

But in reality, this ‘petty, petty yearning’ you perceived was induced by your repressed childishness increased when you thought of things you could do to cope. This feeling has been making you lethargic since you came here (and worsened, in fact, after that confrontational night with Erwin). And thus, you ask yourself: if I were to sleep with someone, would my exhaustion be quenched?

You continue your conversation with Moblit while pondering so; this time the pressure in your nerves eased quite a bit. Moblit seems to be interested in you—you're not naive to think otherwise—and if that feeling would be of service to you, then you might as well grab it.

As childish as it sounds (and as much as you hate it, too), people of Erwin's age could also do it without being ridiculed, right? That's how Erwin did, after all. With his ex-wife, he did.

You bite your lip, suddenly on the edge again.

“Moblit,” you languidly place your hand on his shoulder, willing to shoot your shot. “Don't you think we should take it someplace—”

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice interrupts you two. Your inebriated mind suddenly sobers up. “They were asking if you guys would like to join the seniors in their car. They're willing to drive you home.”

“Mr. Smith!” Moblit perks up, albeit his posture is slurry. “T-the party's done, eh? Hehe, I got too caught up talking, it seems.”

“Thank you for accompanying her nicely, Moblit.”

“My pleasure,” Moblit, much to your surprise, looks at you quite endearingly. Your flustered face brought his shyness back, though. With a weaker voice, he asks, “So… would you like to…”

“Keep contact?” you smile. “We will! We'll be seeing each other more often at the faculty, after all.”

“O-oh, yes, of course.” Moblit shrinks further. “I meant… uh…”

Of course, you know what he means. It's just that you realized how Moblit, this seemingly pure-hearted boy, deserves to be treated better than being a temporary coping mechanism—something you just realized after having Erwin's presence near you again.

If someone's going to be hurt by you tonight, it should be Erwin alone.

You don't think he completely understands what he has done to you, but he would, surely so, the moment you're done with him.

Or so your drunk self claims.

As if brought by instinct, Erwin's presence finally let you drop your guard, letting the tipsiness take over. You slouch your dizzy head down the table, not bothering to bid Moblit goodbye anymore. It doesn't take long for them to construe that you've finally lost it.

“I'm taking her home,” Erwin offers.

“O-oh, okay then. Good night, Mr. Smith.”

Only the two of you are left now. What a waste, this is the only moment your wish came true, and yet you're already too inebriated to comprehend what's happening.

Erwin gently taps your shoulder and softly nudges it, “Come on. You have to go home.”

“Mhm.”

An immovable heap, that's what you are. Erwin shakes his head in dismay, “You should've been more mindful of your drinking. You're not someplace near home.”

“Should've been more mindful, too…” you hiccup. 

“Come again?”

“Should've been more mindful of confessing that badly to me.”

Oh dear. So you're finally talking about that. “I asked if you wanted to know how I feel, and you said yes.”

“You're a fucking bastard.”

A moment of silence before he finally admits, “Indeed, I am.”

“You'd rather die than try it out with me?” you scoff. “If I'm that unappealing to you, then you should've just—”

“You know that is not what I mean at all,” he sternly interjects. Much to your surprise, Erwin seems to be less tolerant of anyone talking down to you, including yourself if need be.

However, your inebriety has much greater concerns.

“Then what! What do you mean then?!”

One of them includes a scream as loud as that.

The crew looking at Erwin was enough of a signal; get that drunk lass out of here.

“Come on, let's get you air outside—”

“Is it because I'm a child in your eyes?! But I'm not!” your wailing proved otherwise, though. You sobbed so loud one might think Erwin just slapped you. “I've tried too hard to act beyond my age, just so you would see me beyond that! I'm willing to do more, even! And you'd ‘rather die’?! I can't even—” you huff a sob (embarrassingly so, but admittedly a needed one as well). The next words that come out of your mouth are beyond comprehension. 

How thankful the staff were when Erwin grabbed you by the waist and carried you like a sack of rice out of the venue.

Your shouts were short-lived when Erwin gently hoisted you down to the ground. At least you're quite far from the bar now. “Goodness, you've never been this drunk before,” he laments.

“That was the worst rejection I've ever received in my life.”

“It's okay, you're young and—”

“Another of that and I'll slap you!” you exclaim, silencing everyone on the road for a solid ten seconds, it is until Erwin starts laughing, boisterously so.

That laugh was so genuine and divine that it almost sobered you up.

The word is almost.

“What's funny?!”

Erwin is still wiping the tears from his eyes due to too much laughing when he replies, “Nothing. Sorry.” Only when he saw you puffed and about to cry did he finally retract, “Really. Nothing's funny. Don't mind me.”

You don't remember much of what happened afterward aside from walking, talking while walking, zigzag walking, holding his arm while walking, and throwing up on the sidewalk before walking again.

Slowly but surely, the tons of walking has been slowly sobering you up—just enough to comprehend the things you are saying to him again.

You talk about your desire to own things that you never had and how you wanted to walk on paths you had never crossed since childhood. You tell Erwin that had you pursued a degree in hard sciences, you'd wonder what it's like to push an art-related career instead. If you did otherwise, you’d wonder how good life would've been had your decision been different. 

Erwin replies that he knows it—all of it. 

“How? You have not been with me since childhood.”

“Only I would know more than anyone else here. Surely so.”

“I'm asking you why!”

“Because of all the tasks I had taken all my life—” A moment of silence before he continued, as hesitance etched quite loudly in his features. But you resolutely glare at him. And honestly, he's exhausted. You've made him, of all people, spent and exhausted just in a span of a night. “Out of all the tasks I had taken in my life, watching you shine was my most favorite.”

You stop in your tracks, befuddled. Suddenly the cold night is warm. And suddenly the alcohol isn't enough to spike your bravado.

"I know that despite shifting your playlist a generation behind, you still have a relatively newer song on repeat."

And just this usual, usual occurrence of you and Erwin not needing to expound because you already know each other too much for such pleasantries. You know the song he talks about too well. Thus, before you could blatantly gush at his very observant and poignant take, your drunk self immediately starts humming.

"I don't want your pity, concern or your scorn," you start with a humming glare, Erwin chuckles. "I'm calm by my lonesome, I feel right at home!" 

"Indeed you are."

"And when the wind blows, I get to dancing," then you sway your body into the cold night air. You almost stumble to the ground, but Erwin catches you just in time. You don't know if it was just your illusion, but he seems to be smiling and laughing a lot tonight.

If you're not for the alcohol, you'd already be utterly flustered. But you are, in fact, drunk beyond repair, even to the point of starting to sing right after he blurted out such a confession—"My fun is the rhythm of air, when it's prancing! I play with the moon, my only friend!"—and to continue singing even after he's hovering above you, holding your waist so you wouldn't stumble down the ground. "It pushes, it pulls me, I don't pay rent! Fuck! The rent here is so fucking expensive!"

He hums, then brings your body back to its usual standing position, quickly so, as if he owed his whole life to do that instead of doing something he'll regret. "It's much cheaper in our homeland. Told you."

"Fuck you!"

Erwin laughs again.

"No convincing tonight. God, why don't you let me rest from this shitty talk? This night's goal is to make the newcomers happy! To make me happy! And now you're ruining it!"

"Sorry, dear madam. Won't happen again."

Erwin holds onto both of your shoulders to guide you down the pavement, a tinge of grip present to prevent you from zigzagging again.

You nod, then hum the song: “I don't need your company to feel saved. I don't need the sunlight, my curtains don't draw. I don't need objects, to keep or to pawn. I don't want your pity, concern, or your scorn. I'm calm by my lonesome, I feel right at home. You repeat this interlude again and again, as if every line is a dialogue in itself, something to be said to the man guiding you down the pavement. You repeat it again and again until Erwin does the humming alongside your imploring croons.

"I can see now why you couldn't let go of that song despite your preference in generation."

"You see it now?"

He hums.

"Really?"

He nods again, then looks you in the eye. It's not as bright as earlier. If anything, there's a tinge of poignancy present in his hues.

"Then why are you still looking at me in pity?"

The sudden question surprised him. "I'm not…?"

"You are. You still think it's such a pity that I like someone like you, that I'm wasting my youthfulness in this shitshow."

Erwin stops.

“I like you, Erwin. I think I'll hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life.”

This time, you don't sound that drunk anymore. The only indicator Erwin could have was your fluttering eyes—one he couldn't stare at for too long due to the suddenness of your statement.

“I think I'll hold onto this feeling, but it's okay. I will be responsible for my feelings—” and you walk to him until you're inches apart. You point to his heart. Three times. “—the same way you'll be responsible for yours.”

And for the first time in his life, Erwin is too lost for words. He couldn't even pretend he still had the upper hand right this very moment.

“You love me and I love you. I want to be with you, but you don't want to be with me. But it's good. It's okay. It's alright! In fact, I'm glad we were able to clear things up!”

Your face is saying otherwise.

“And—I mean it when I say this so please—you must let go of your messianic complex and let me take charge of my own feelings as I should. Worry about yours. I don't care however you would. Your feelings only start being my business once you want to be with me. Understood?”

Erwin calls your name, seemingly wanting to negate your proposition. 

“Say you understand!”

But Erwin must know it by now, this tone of voice of yours isn't something you use when you want counterarguments. He could only smile and nod, “I understand.”

“Good,” you turn your back and start walking again, albeit swaying. “See you around, Erwin.”

Erwin knows you're not far from here, but he's also aware you're not capable of bringing yourself home without the possibility of falling into a manhole.

Moreover, there is a problem on his end…

“Then, may I—” he tries to stop himself, only to no avail. “Right now, I feel like doing something that would act upon my feelings but I'm worried it'll rattle you further.”

There.

There it goes.

“All this time, you’ve been acting upon your feelings for me without asking me—all for the sake of not rattling me. However, most of the time it just ends up frustrating me in every way possible.”

“Oh,” Erwin is only starting to see it now. “I apologize.”

“I'm not asking for apologies,” you flatly respond. When you turn to him again, your face looks like you've sobered up all at once. “What do you want to do, Erwin?”

“I want to usher you inside, have you drink something that’d lessen tomorrow's hangover, tuck you to your bed nicely, and ensure you're asleep before I leave.”

“That's all?”

“And more,” he chuckles defeatedly. Perhaps the fact that you're drunk is also giving him the needed bravado to be blunt. “But if I were to list the things I'm most desperate to do right now, I think what I said is enough.”

“Don't you think it would've helped us both if you started doing this years ago?” And now, Erwin could say your cries are genuinely in your character this time around, unlike your wailing earlier at the bar. “God, you're very unbearable. All this effort to be mature enough only for you to handle your feelings like a cowardly dick.” However, your language is still steered by the drinks you've had.

“Loving you made me fear a lot of things I never thought I'd fear before.”

“Have you ever feared hurting me, Erwin?”

“Still do. Always would.”

“And yet that's all you've ever done. Keep being ruled by fear and all you're gonna do is hurt me until the day I die.” When you turned your back to him again, he knew you could finally bring yourself home without his help. “Good night, Mr. Smith.”

<<< PREV CHAPTER

can't believe i took ALMOST two years before publishing the needed continuation when I've been wanting to write it so bad. my god. My God.

happy with how it turned out tho. sorry guys my erwin needs to be The Pathetic Old Man for a bit for the drama. he will reclaim his future in the epilogue (aka next chapter) :)

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[spectorbear]

— strangers (soulmates) part 2

pairing: erwin smith x f!reader

summary: erwin smith was the embodiment of intimation, money, and power. and you were his personal assistant.

genre: office au; slow burn, smut, angst

word count: 1.4k

warnings/notes: swearing, no real warnings for this part; purely part of the slow burn of it all!

prev | next

masterlist

THE SUN HAD LONG PASSED THE SKY, leaving the blues of the moon to dance along the place. You were still in the office, finishing up last minute details before the weekend.

Work has been intense the past week. With several new (huge) business deals, new hires, and events planned… you haven’t had time to breathe. Erwin was at the peak of all things, which meant you managed both him and you. Usually, you and Moblit go out on Saturdays to relax and talk about literally anything other than work. But with everything going on in both of your departments, you thought about just having a relaxing weekend without leaving the apartment. 

You went into Erwin’s office briefly to place a folder on his desk. It was always extremely clean and organized, with big windows overlooking the neon city. His desk was meticulously organized, paperwork stacked in specific piles and pens placed perfectly. Bookshelves lined the walls, full of thick books and sorted by author. He even had a few potted plants around the room. 

You were just about to leave when you heard ringing. You checked your pockets; it wasn’t your cell or work phone. Twisting back around, you found Erwin’s work cell ringing on the edge of his desk. 

Maybe you should leave it. But you were his personal assistant… you could just answer it and say that he was out of the office and leave a message for him. It must have been important if they were calling this late.

Deciding against better judgment, “Mr. Smith’s phone, this is his assistant.” You answered, placing the work phone to your ear and prepping a pen and sticky note. “Mr. Smith is not in the office right now, but I can leave a message for him.”

“I told you she’d answer!” Hange giggled on the other end. The music was loud, conversations of strangers muffled, and clanging of glasses echoed. They must be at a bar. 

“What’s going on, Hange?” You asked, dropping your customer service voice and prepared pen. You were worried at first, thinking it was a work emergency. But, with them still being at the bar, you were more worried about a personal or medical emergency. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine!” Hange giggled. “Kind of! Levi is here! Say hi, Levi!” There was a pause with no reply. “Oh, he’s being annoying! Anyway, I think you should come here!”

You sighed. “I’m about to leave the office and go home, Hang. I’ll see you on Monday.”

As you were moving the phone back to hang up, Erwin’s voice made you pull it back. He must have been away, leaving Hange and their friend behind. “Who are you calling?”

“No one!” Hange giggled, their voice in a sing-song tone.

There was movement on the other side, a pause, mumbled arguing, and then Erwin Smith was speaking to you. “I apologize for them. I realize that I should not have left them unattended. Please enjoy your night.” He paused. “You are still at the office?”

“Yes. I was just leaving, but your work phone rang.” You answered, slipping into your polite voice that you always had with him. He was your superior after all. 

“That was my fault. I must have left it when I returned earlier.” He replied. Another pause. Someone was saying something to him. “I do not want to bother you as you are leaving the office, especially after I had already told you to go home, but is there a chance you could bring me that phone? We are at Scouts and I might need that phone over the weekend. I apologize for this.”

You sucked in a breath as if you were just waterboarded and they released the cloth. Something about the tone in his voice automatically coursed through you. Like your body adjusts to being in the office and on the clock just by his presence alone. 

“Yes, sir. I can be there in fifteen.”

“I appreciate it. I shall see you soon.”

You hung up. 

And immediately called Moblit.

YOU WERE SHAKING AS YOU DROVE. Moblit had talked to you briefly, laughing hysterically at the thought of Erwin and Hange getting drunk with a college friend. He was doing something with his roommates, so he didn’t stay on the phone for long, and told you to catch him up on the “state of them” when you go out for drinks the next day.

You arrived at the Scouts bar and parked to the side. It was a Friday night, so there were plenty of people that littered the bar and the parking lot outside. It was common for office workers or college students to prowl the bar; it was even the usual spot you and Moblit went to on Saturdays. 

Locking the car, you entered the bar. Scanning the crowd, you found your boss instantly. 

He was a sunflower in a lavender field. Tall, bright, and commanding attention. He stood against a booth, leaning against the ledge meant for hanging coats. He was deep in a conversation with someone whose back was toward you. It was almost strange, seeing him talk casually and intoxicated. He was full of smiles, which brought a warmth to him that you’d never witnessed, and his arms crossed across his chest showed an array of muscles that you never noticed. 

Erwin’s eyes looked up briefly and caught yours. He didn’t motion, didn’t drop his smile. He simply watched you as you navigated through the crowded bar towards him.

“Here’s your phone, Sir.” You said when you reached his side. You had to speak a little loud over the music, but he seemed to hear you just fine. He grabbed the phone without looking at it. His eyes were focused on you.

“Levi,” Erwin turned his attention away from you to the person he was talking to in the booth. “This is my assistant.”

You turned around to finally see the Levi person that was the topic of the day. He was nursing a Scotch, leaning back against the cushion of the booth. He was the opposite of Erwin: dark, glooming. But they both had a similar aura of authority. Something commanding in a presence that you couldn’t quite place. 

“I see.” Was all Levi said while looking at you. 

Your name echoed behind you just as Erwin was starting to say something. For a split moment, you thought that you might see someone you went to university with and mentally prepared for the “oh my God, how are you, what are you up to now?” conversation that seems to always follow post-grad. But instead, you were nearly tackled by Hange Zoe.

“I forgot you were coming!”

“Hang, I was on the phone with you less than fifteen minutes ago.” You couldn’t help giggling. You weren’t used to seeing them like this. 

“You should stay!” They put their arm around your shoulder as you looked to your boss, who seemed to find the interaction fascinating. He still had his arms crossed, shirt sleeves rolled up just past his elbows, and he looked at you and Hange with a look in his eye that you couldn’t quite place. Interest? Confusion? “Have a few drinks with us!”

“It’s late and I am just getting out of the office.” You were so close to Hange’s face that you could smell the vodka in their breath. “I was only stopping by on my way home. Maybe some other time, okay?”

“Awh,” They pouted. Only for a moment, however, because they quickly found solace in plopping in the booth next to Levi and rambled to him about something you couldn't make out over the music. 

“I should go.” You said to Erwin. 

He finally stopped leaning against the booth and stood straight in front of you, revealing his full height. “Let me walk you out.”

You nodded, unable to answer. He nodded to Levi and Hange before leading you back to the door. You followed without a single thought, easily slipping into your position a few paces behind him. It was common for you to follow him like this. It was unspoken. Natural.

The brisk midnight air hit your face as he walked you to your car. The parking lot had a lot less people, but you could still see the stragglers and a few groups waiting on Ubers. 

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to walk me out.” You told him, opening your car door but not getting in. He stood in front of your door near your headlight, placing his hands in his pant pockets. “I hope you have a good weekend, Sir.”

“You do not have to refer to me by that outside of work.” Erwin said. You froze. “Sir, I mean. You can call me Erwin. We are both off of the clock. You are not my subordinate or assistant right now.”

You blinked. You didn’t know what to say. There was something different about him tonight. You had always felt breathless around him, but now you were speechless too. You had never talked to him this much outside of work-related topics or at work until tonight. You’ve had brief conversations before, sure, but never anything that goes beyond something you’d have in your resume. 

But tonight he told you to go home early. He worried about the amount of work he’d been giving you. He asked you to bring him something outside of work hours. He said the words “I apologize for this” to you. And now… now he was telling you that outside of work, you can drop the honorific you gave him. 

Maybe he was drunk and you couldn’t tell. 

“Okay.” Was all you could say. 

He nodded as a confirmation that he heard you. He took a step back from your car, and gave a simple, “Thank you for bringing my phone. I’ll see you Monday.” before heading back into the bar.

please do not interact if you are under the age of 18. do not repost any of my works on any site.

[kentoberry]

THREE DAYS — ERWIN SMITH.

⭒— SUMMARY · after the battle to retake wall maria, you have to find a way to cope.

⭒— CONTENT · angst. major character death. season three spoilers. grieving. pregnancy. mentions of sickness / throwing up. some depression symptoms. minors dni with my blog.

it's been three days since the battle to retake wall maria. three days since you last saw erwin. three days that you've been isolating yourself from everyone else.

hange was the only one that had seen you. they stopped by your room to inform you that they were heading to investigate grisha yaeger's basement with levi and some of the cadets, as well as to drop you off some food.

everyone had lost a lot on that day, regardless of what humanity had gained. losing erwin had taken its toll, that much was clear. you'd never exactly defined your relationship, both terrified that if you put a label on it and subsequently one of you got hurt beyond a point of recovery, the other wouldn't be able to handle it. this was an unspoken agreement.

despite that, everybody in the scout regimen knew about your feelings for one another. from the way that erwin looked out for you on expeditions to the longing gazes you exchanged: the love that you shared was blatantly clear. you even stayed in one another's quarters most nights.

since returning back, you hadn't left your room. by some miracle, you'd escaped the battle relatively unscathed — something within you wanted to say it was erwin's spirit watching over you. you didn't know how to process him not being by your side.

you missed waking up to his rough morning voice, the way that he'd wrap his arms around you from behind whilst you made a morning tea. even the way that you'd been throwing up non-stop had reminded you of when you'd contracted a stomach bug and erwin refused to leave you alone. he'd hold your hair and rub your back whilst you were bent over the toilet, cook you soup just the way he remembered his mother making it.

a couple of knocks on the door broke you out of your thoughts.

you croaked a meek "come in", not even bothering to make yourself look presentable. hange made their way over to you, perching themself on the edge of your mattress. they opened their arms, pulling you in. you obliged.

tears began to pool in your eyes at the display of affection. despite hange's guilt that they would be taking over erwin's position in the military ranks, they were only there to comfort you as a friend. plus, they were there during erwin's final moments. part of you was glad that you weren't, not knowing how you would have coped, but at the same time you wished you could have been with him. you could have told him how you felt. held his hand. made sure it was peaceful. god, you don't know what you would do if you ever found out that he met a painful end.

"i'm sorry," hange mumbled. they were holding back their own tears, both due to what happened to erwin and seeing you so fucking broken. surely there was something they could have done to prevent it. "if it's any consolation, he talked about you. he had us promise to keep you safe, no matter what. erwin deeply cared about you, you know?"

the usual spunk in their voice was absent. you wrapped your arms around them, finally letting the dam break and sobbing into their shoulder. each time you opened your mouth to speak, all that came out where incoherent blubbers. regardless, hange held onto you and did their best to soothe you.

"have you eaten?" they asked once you had calmed down a little. you shook your head. "is there anything i can get you?"

"'ve jus' been throwing it up, hange," you confessed.

"oh, sweetheart... do you think you're sick? i can walk with you to the infirmary? or i can bring a doctor here-"

"no, 's okay. 've just been tired, but i guess it's the weight of the last few days..."

hange felt something was off, so they continued to press you a little bit. "i don't want to pry, but when was the last time that you and erwin..." they scratched the back of their neck, slightly uncomfortable. it was out of character, sure, but everything over the last few days had been turned on its head anyways.

"fuck." you whispered. your hand instantly cupped your lower stomach. "you're not saying that..." you trailed off. it was like a puzzle piece clicking into place. you'd been nauseous mostly in the mornings and evenings. you missed your period, though assumed it to be a result of stress due to work.

neither of you said anything, letting it sink in. before you knew it, you were sobbing again. if your mind wasn't already swarming with a billion thoughts, it certainly was now. though in the midst of all of it, you were somewhat comforted by the little thing growing in your stomach. it was almost as if you still had a piece of erwin with you. hange was in front of you, a few steps away, yet you could have sworn you felt a hand on your shoulder followed by an overwhelming warmth inside of you. it was as if erwin was right next to you, whispering that it'll all be okay.

[beneathashadytree]

ERWIN SMITH MASTERLIST

fluff: normal, angst: italics, smut: bold

Lilies (oneshot)

Behave (oneshot)

Farewell (oneshot)

Much-Needed Reassurance (oneshot)

Seashell Vows (oneshot)

Crave (oneshot)

Tight Fit (oneshot)

[watyousayin]

The Other Woman - Erwin Smith

Hi everyone! I don't know if this will become a series or stay as a standalone/one-shot... My first piece of original work and oh my gosh it took me forever! 😅 But let me know what you guys think 😊 Feedback is always welcome!

Sara 💙x

Minors DNI!

TW/CW: Jealous Erwin, angst, hurt, no comfort, physical violence (a small fight between Erwin and Levi, few punches are thrown), mentions of blood (bloody nose and lip from the fight), no sex/smut, implied female reader (reader gets called mama by her son). Let me know if I missed anything!

Erwin and you married out of convenience, mainly for the sake of his son, after his wife left him for another man. You barely have a relationship outside of your marriage certificate. You were able to become a mother to Erwin's son, but never a wife for Erwin. You tried your hardest initially, your efforts starting to fizzle and this doesn't go unnoticed.

Icy blue eyes watch you through the opened glass doors into the kitchen. You’re standing over the stove set in the kitchen island facing the garden, with a dark haired and usually stoic man. He watches the two of you standing close to one another, looking into the pot you had on the stove while you add ingredients. The owner of the blue eyes clenches his fists watching his friend step a little closer to you pointing towards the pot. Too close for his liking. The man pulls back slightly, using his hand to lean on the counter by the stove, nodding at whatever you’re telling him. You turn to him with a warm smile which reaches your eyes. This irks the former man. It pisses him off even more watching his friend laugh back at something you say. He grits his teeth watching you both laugh with one another. 

“Ain’t that right Erwin. Erwin?” Erwin doesn’t hear the calls from his friend beside him. His mind is too focused on the scene in front of him. 

"Hey man!" The blond feels a sharp sting on his upper left up, now directing his growing rage elsewhere.

"What the fuck Miche!" He yells, turning to the culprit.

"Hey! Language!" Miche yells back. "There are kids present, asshole", gesturing with his head to their children running around in front of them.

Erwin just rolls his eyes and looks straight ahead again. He sips his drink, watching you both over the rim of his plastic cup. Miche catches the look on Erwin's face and follows his gaze. 

Levi helps you take down some teacups and saucers. You both chatter and laugh as you pour the tea you've been brewing on the stove. Miche glances back at his friend and smirks when he sees his bushy brows furrowed. He turns to his other side nudging Hange, who was tending to her babbling baby. She follows the dirty blond's pointed thumb and the both begin to quietly chuckle. Miche gives Hange a knowing look while wiggling his eyebrows and grinning like the Cheshire cat. They both try to stifle their laughter, as if they're a bunch of teens and not middle aged adults.

"Aahhh, would you look at that Hange", Miche says dramatically gesturing towards the open kitchen on the opposite side of the garden.

"I don't think I've ever seen Levi crack a smile, let alone laugh like that. Isn't that nice Erwin?".

When the fuck did you learn to laugh Ackerman? And what is that funny? It's just tea? Erwin just continues to internally question the scene, the cup in his hand starting to fold and crush in his grip. 

"Y/N seems to have broken past his boring walls and cold exterior." Erwin scoffs lightly. Miche continues to playfully provoke his friend, Hange watching smiling, slightly shaking her head. 

"And how can she not? She's great! She's amazing and just so full of life. And not to mention beautiful", Miche exaggerates, not that he didn't agree or believe his own statements. From the very beginning, you created a great impression on Erwin's friends and colleagues. They admire you for who you are and what you do. “You, my friend, are a lucky man. Hange, why didn’t we get a tea party invite in the kitchen?” Miche knowingly continued to wind up his friend. 

“Miche, can you just shut the fuck up”. 

“Language!”

“Language!” Hange and Miche yell at Erwin in unison. 

“Listen Smith, right now, I’m not your subordinate. I am your friend enjoying your nice little garden party, pool party, whatever this nice thing is”, Miche says, using his cup to gesture towards the intimate group of family and friends surrounding the garden. He playfully smacks Erwins shoulder, causing the latter to swat his hand away.

“And what’s up your ass anyway? Just relax.” Miche relaxes himself back into the poolside lounge chair. 

“Focus on your own wife, not mine” Erwin spits back, getting more and more agitated. 

“Actually, Nanaba would agree. And, do I smell” Miche deeply inhales through his nose, waving air towards himself, “jealousy?”

Hange snorts as Erwin shoots a cold glare at Miche’s mischievous face, irritating him even more knowing he fell for his trap. He watches his annoying friend relax further in his chair, hands behind his head, eyes closed. 

“You reek of it friend”. Miche smiles cheekily, opening one eye to catch Erwin’s reaction who starts gritting his teeth.

“Miche, you fu--”

“Daddy!” a small 5 year old launches himself onto his father, thankfully interrupting his profanity. 

“Hey my sweet boy”, Erwin’s mood immediately lightens, placing his little boy on his lap.

“Daddy, can I have a new popsicle. Pleeaasse! I dropped mines.” he pouts.

“Sure bud.” He says smiling at his son, brushing his messy hair away from his eyes. 

Erwin glances at your direction. Levi and you are now sitting on the patio chairs just outside the kitchen. Levi shows you something on his phone and you lean in to see. Erwin feels his eye twitch. He shakes off the gnawing feeling and asks the little boy “Elysian, why don’t we go ask mama?”

“Yeah Elys, and ask your mom to get one for your dad too. I think he’s feeling a little hot”. 

Miche looks smug while Hange laughs at him, causing her baby to laugh at her. Elysian, not understanding what the adults were laughing about, giggles with them.

“You’re silly Uncle Miche!” Miche dramatically gasps as Erwin agrees, standing up with the boy.

The father and son cross the garden towards you. The closer they get, the clearer you get. Your soft hair. Your skin, glowing under the sun. Your delicate fingers raising your cup to your plush smiling lips, making the bangles and bracelets on your wrist tinkle. Your tongue peeks out slightly past your lips to lick off any remnants of your hot beverage. The tall man didn’t realise he had slowed his pace to just look at you longer, until his impatient son wriggled in his arms pleading him to hurry.

“I’m just saying, I don’t get why people keep calling chai ‘chai tea’. Chai is tea! You’re just saying tea twice!” you exclaim. Levi chuckles at your little outburst. 

“I agree with you,” he nods, “It sounds silly”

Erwin approaches the patio, subtly looking between you both. Your chatter falls, as does your laughter to a gentle smile. Your husband notices your face heat up slightly when you meet his eyes.

Oh, did I interrupt their little date? Erwin assumes.

“Mama” Elysian calls for you wiggling out of his fathers grip. 

“Yes my love?” you beam at your little boy, looking so angelic.

“Daddy says I can get a new popsicle because I dropped mine and he said I can get one but I have to ask you so mama please can I get a new one please!”

You laugh at his frantic plea for a new popsicle.

“Okay, okay. Slow down. And of course we can, baby.” You stand up taking his hand and turn back in towards the kitchen. 

“You two seem to get on like a house on fire.” Levi just rolls his eyes and carries on sipping his tea, while his friend moves to sit beside him. Levi can tell by the way Erwin spoke, he wasn't trying to be friendly.

“What? Did I interrupt your little tea date?” Erwin says with a bit more edge in his voice.

Levi turns around to make sure you’re far away enough, before turning back to Erwin frowning.

“What are you doing right now Erwin?” he asks in a low voice, frowning at his friend. Erwin just grimaces.

“You know what, man? Don’t even answer that. What? She can’t smile and enjoy a conversation?”. Erwin just scowls at the dark haired man.

“Have you ever sat down and had a proper conversation with her? Or made her smile even once? Answer that.”

“Levi, you’re fucking pushing it right now” he grits in response.

Levi pushes himself away from the deck table standing up.

“Whatever. I was just being nice, I think she deserves that. Not my fault you got pissy watching her be happy in the last 2 hours with someone other than yourself. More than what you've given her in the last 2 years with you.”

That does it. 

It happens so quickly. Erwin’s chair falls back with so much force as he stands up grabbing Levi’s collar with one hand, and landing a punch on his face with the other. He doesn’t hear the gasps from everyone as Levi shoves him back and lands a punch of his own. Moblit and Miche race across the garden to separate the two men, who were still trying to reach and grab for the other. You race out of the kitchen hearing the commotion with Elysian in your arms. You watch the two supposedly best friends try and lunge for each other. 

“Nanaba, please take Elysian. And can you and Hange take everyone inside.” Nanaba nods at your instructions. You quickly pass your son over while he worriedly asks what’s wrong with his dad and uncle Levi. 

“What the hell are you both doing!” Neither men answer you, as they push forward to each other while getting pulled back by their other friends. 

“Erwin! Stop it!” You rush up to Erwin, pushing against his chest. Both men halt immediately, not wanting you to get caught in the crossfire. He looks down at you, his chest heaving and his usually neat hair, now a mess. You look up at his reddened face, your eyes widen with concern seeing blood under one of his nostrils and corner of his mouth. You catch the placement of your hands on his chest and remove them as though they burned. You turn to Levi gasping out loud seeing his busted lip and newly bruised face. 

“Oh my god! Your face Levi.” You step a little closer to get a better look. Your concerned face turns to anger looking between the two men, hands on your hips.

“What is wrong with you two? Fighting like some kids in a playground!” You reprimand them as they sheepishly look anywhere but at you. You let out a frustrated sigh picking up the fallen chairs. 

“You, sit.” You firmly push Levi down onto one of the seats by his shoulder. He doesn’t resist as you gently lift his face to inspect the damage. Erwin feels himself burn up again watching you tend to his so called best friend first. You hiss slightly at the sight before instructing Miche to get the abandoned popsicle on the kitchen counter and the first aid kit. 

“Miche can you take care of this one here please”.

“Yes ma’am”, he responds, placing the popsicle on Levi’s sulking face.

“Gently!”

You turn to Erwin with a stern look. 

“And you, with me. Now.” 

Erwin just stares at you with a blank expression. Have you always looked like this? He subtly scans your face, eyes stopping on your moving lips. Not hearing a word you’re saying, the tall man feels anger burn to desire. 

“Oh for God sake”. You grab Erwin by the wrist and drag him through the house past your friends. Erwin follows behind you like a big child as you lead him upstairs to the bedroom away from prying eyes. Once you’re both in, you push him gently to sit on the edge of the bed. You walk to the connected bathroom to get the first aid supplies. His eyes never once leave you. He watches you from the bed as you move about the bathroom grabbing what you need. 

Coming back into the room, you take a seat beside Erwin. You start to lift a damp cloth to clean his face but Erwin grasps your wrist.

“Y/N, I-” he starts.

“Erwin, can you just shut up for once and let me do this!” you interrupt him leaving him stunned at your outburst. You’ve never raised your voice at him before, not even Elysian. You always speak so gently, even when he’s wrong and raising his own voice. He releases his grip and lets you clean his face. You gently wipe away the blood from his nose and mouth. Erwin lets out a hiss when you apply the antiseptic, grabbing your hand again. 

He lets go as you both awkwardly say sorry to one another. You clear your throat standing up to clean up the mess. 

“What the hell even was that down there? Why were you guys at each other's throats like that? In front of everybody! The kids, your friends and colleagues.”

Erwin looks away, frowning, not knowing how to tell you the reason for getting in a fist fight with his friend. 

“He was talking shit. So I…” He explains quietly, still avoiding eye contact like a child getting in trouble. He definitely isn’t used to being like this. He’s usually the one giving the lectures and orders.

“Sorry? He what?” you question not hearing, or believing, what came out of your husband's mouth.

Erwin huffs before repeating himself. “He was talking shit, so I hit him.”

You stare in disbelief as Erwin waits for you to respond.

“Levi? Levi, was talking shit? What exactly did he say for you to hit him?”

“What? You think Levi can’t talk crap?” Erwin retorted.

“I’m not saying that he can’t. It’s just not like him to talk nonsense that bad, for someone to want to hit him.” You calmly respond.

“You’re really defending him? The little prick started it. And he got a good hit on me too” Erwin feels himself getting riled up again. You sigh, taking the first aid materials back to the bathroom, not wanting to get into a baseless argument.

“I think you should just stay up here for a while and come down a little later. I’ll go check on Levi and the others. Make sure he's okay”. You start to walk past Erwin to leave, when he grabs your arm pulling you back. You gasp in surprise as your back hits the wardrobe, you look up at Erwin’s handsome face. He looks down at you, scanning your face, inching closer. His eyes stop at your lips.

“Y/N, your husband is here, hurt, and you’re thinking of tending to another man?” His voice is low, you feel it rumble through your hand that rests on his chest. You shiver ever so slightly. The corner of his mouth raises slightly, catching your small response. 

“Erwin, I...I…”

“You what Y/N?”. His voice gets lower as his hand that grabbed your arm slowly feathers higher, leaving a trail of goosebumps. 

“Erwin”, you breathe out.

"Hmm?" He hums, his trailing hand now gently under your chin. He rests his other arm on the wardrobe beside your head, using it to lean further into you. The tips of your noses touching. He looks down at you, softly holding your jaw, thumb ghosting over your lower lip. That gentle touch sends a shock through your body. Your eyes flutter shut. Your chest heaving. Erwin can feel his pants tighten seeing your body responding to him.

Erwin leans in, kissing your temple. Then your cheekbone, down to your cheek and then the corner of your mouth. His lips brush over yours. Taking a deep breath in, you inhale the antiseptic that you applied not too long ago on Erwin's face, waking you up.

"No!", you push the boulder of a man away, who just stares at you with a mixture of emotion swimming through his eyes. You look away from him but he continues to stare. Pushing away from the wardrobe, you fix your appearance in front of the mirror on one of its doors. You move to leave again. Once more you're stopped by your husband, who pushes you to your previous position. He doesn't look at you with the same gentleness as before, but more frustration. 

"Let me go", you struggle against his arms that hold you in place. You try pushing him, but he's built like a wall. 

"No"

"Excuse me? I said let me go".

"Why won't you kiss me?" 

"Because I don't want to", you answer, still trying to push him away.

He watches you intently for a moment before speaking.

"Is it because of him?", he asks, his jaw tensing.

You stop your struggle, looking up at him. 

"What?" You look up confused and annoyed. 

"Is. It. Him?", he grits.

"Is 'what' because of 'who'?"

Erwin steps back letting go.

"Ackerman. You won't let me near you because of him. You both seem to get along so well. You both seemed so cosy earlier."

You stare at your husband, angry and stunned at his theory. You can't help but scoff at his words and let out a bitter, sarcastic laugh. 

"Is that what you think? You think I won't let you near me because of Levi? Another man?"

The blond man looks away, still angry. His pride not allowing the bubbling shame and guilt to show. 

"And you don't think it has anything to do with you, Mr Smith?" 

Erwin's face and heart drop at the way you address him. He turns to your angry face. You’ve never been this upset. You hadn't addressed him this way in a while. You started calling him by his first name again only a few months ago, when things started getting better between you both. He realises at this moment how much he hates hearing you call him that way. He hates how angry you are at him. You step closer to him, an accusing finger poking his chest. 

"You don't get to do that. You don't get to choose when you want to use me and when you want to throw me to the side."

"Y/N, it's not like that". He tries to reach for you and you yank your hand back. 

“Oh it isn’t? Whenever you’re pissed off with someone or something, frustrated or whatever, you come to me. You come to me, fuck me and toss me away.” Erwin winces at your words. Your physical relationship took a while to build, and it started and stopped at that; fucking. Nothing more, how he wants it. Or at least how he thought he wanted it. 

You continue, eyes starting to line with unshed tears. “And I, like the idiot I am, let you. I keep thinking you might just love me, even a little. But everytime we’re together, you’re not with me. You fuck me and think about her. And you’re here accusing me of trying to get with another man, and your best friend at that!” Erwin feels like someone’s clawing at his chest. He looks at your deflated form. He so badly wants to reach out and hold you and tell you this isn’t true. Not anymore. 

“I know I’m not her Mr Smith. And I’ll never be her. But I love you and Elysian so much. I knew this was going to be hard. I knew what I was getting myself into. But I didn’t think it’d be like this.” You wipe away your tears with the back of your hands. 

“And I know I’m a good wife and mother. So why am I not enough?” You look into your husband's blue eyes hoping to get an answer.

“I do whatever I can for you both. Anything and everything to take care of my family. When Elysian first called me mama, I was so happy because he finally accepted me as a mother. His own mother left him, and it would break my heart to hear him cry out for her. Why can’t you accept me as a wife at least? Why do you hate me so much?” You drop onto the edge of the bed, silently crying into your hands. 

Fuck. Erwin looks at your broken form. I did this? I did this. He didn’t mean to push you so far away. Or this far to break you like this. He just wanted to keep a distance, enough to not hurt you both. This whole thing was out of convenience, mainly for Elysian. And he certainly doesn’t hate you, he never did. He didn’t love you either. He thought he couldn’t, until recently. How can you believe him now?

"There will always be another woman in this relationship. If you'd even call it one. And it feels like I'm the other woman". 

Erwin crouches in front of you, gently moving your hands from your face. 

"Look at me, please". Your red eyes meet his. 

He thinks about how many nights you might have spent like this, crying and hurting over him. You aren't wrong. You're an amazing mother to his son, and an amazing wife. From the moment you walked into their lives, you did your utmost best to help the father and son after his ex wife left them for another life and man. Erwin wants to tell you all of this. He wants to tell you he does appreciate you. He doesn't hate you, and somewhere in between he has started to fall for you. 

He opens his mouth, but is interrupted by the doorbell ringing downstairs. You briskly get up, straightening your clothes and wiping your face making sure to look like the perfect hostess again. You leave the room, making your way downstairs with Erwin slowly trailing behind you. 

It seems like Miche had already answered the door, which was still hiding the unexpected guest. He turns his head towards you coming down the last few steps. His face no longer holds the playfulness from earlier, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks back at Erwin, who's slowed to a stop in the middle of the staircase. Erwin senses his friend's uneasiness. The unexpected guest is probably also unwanted. He quickly makes his way towards you. You thank Miche for answering the door who gives you a slight nod. His eyes meet Erwin’s briefly before he heads into the living room. You reach to open the door fully but Erwin beats you to it. He swings the door open, putting himself between you and the threat.

"Erwin", you hear the sickly sweet voice call your husband. You walk from behind Erwin to stand beside him. Your eyes lock with the supposed threat.

"Marie?" Erwin says in surprise. 

Marie looks at you with a small smirk. 

"Y/N. I'm sorry for being late. I must have misplaced the invite. Luckily Nile heard about it to remind me", she smiles, the smile not reaching her eyes.

You look at the other woman, not knowing what to say or how to respond. Here she was. The constant reminder that you were truly the other woman. Here she is in the flesh. 

"Now if you don't mind, I'd like to see my son". She takes a step forward, as does Erwin. Your heart starts to race and you feel your palms starting to sweat. You slowly and awkwardly step back and away from them. You feel like you’re being pushed out of their bubble. Staring at the back of your husband's head, you know you’ll never be able to get in. You’ll never be her. You’ll never have his heart.

"Marie" he says her name again. You're not able to tell what he's feeling. And you're too scared to look at his face to find out.

Taglist: @antoxsmith

[moonyy-writes]

hospitals - eruri

masterlist

prompt 4 - write the worst possible way your OTP could've met

Levi groaned as the big oaf started talking to him again. Something about cars. Levi didn’t care though, he just wanted peace and quiet. He survived that car accident only to wish he had died. 

See, he had ended up in a duo hospital room with some guy named Erwin. He had broken his arm and a few ribs, so he was in better shape than Levi. 

“Then you’ll never guess what happened at the end!” 

“What?” Levi rolled his eyes.

“Everybody died!” Erwin rambled excitedly.

“I wish I was dead.” Levi muttered under his breath.

“Hm?” 

“Nothing.” 

“You know, I’m glad I got stuck with someone like you. You’re a good listener.” 

“Mhm.” 

“Except sometimes I feel like I just annoy you.”

Levi shrugged, he figured if he let him ramble he’d eventually get the hint and stop.

“But it’s fine, it’s not like we’re doing anything else.” 

“Remember that hospital room?” Erwin asked.

Levi groaned, “how could I not? All you did was talk and talk. I could never get peace and quiet.”

“Well you never directly told me to stop talking,” Erwin laughed. “You just kept nodding and saying “mhm...mhm...okay”.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Okay, okay. I get it.”

Erwin wrapped his arm around Levi and pulled him into a hug, “how else would you have been able to fall in love with me?”

Levi groaned despite the blush that covered his face. 

[ponderingmoonlight]

Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

[tsukimirecs]

erwin smith // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

thursday flowers

rules, boundaries, and continuums

a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

small horizons

weekend lessons

strangers in the night

treasured memories

phone

come to bed

first date with the vets

closer

pirates don't go to school

homecoming

you love her don't you?

the ocean of grief

first snow

happy accidents

his pride

the sky was golden

regulars

a letter for the one i love most

good little girl

the 4 times erwin catches you and the 1 time you catch him

close call

a moment of serenity

reminisce

at last

[daemontargaryenwhore]

I showed this to my friend and he asked “is he dead or just tall?” and i didn’t know how to tell him it was both.

Ctto. @h.dante on TikTok 🫶🏻

[riewritten]

CHAPTER 6. COUNTERATTACK

EDGE OF THE PRECIPICE — DIRECTORY

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N | hurt/comfort, angst, mystery, childhood friends, fake marriage, modern au, parallel universe, reincarnation, mentions of canon, pining commander erwin smith, trauma, manipulation, referenced child abuse, violence, psychological torture

SUMMARY: Aggressive land grabbing from the royal government ensue from one countryside to the other, all allegedly for the prophecy: a tree, vast source of power that'd bring great abundance and prosperity to mankind, is standing among their lands. As the said prophecy holds the answer to the tragic childhood you have no memories of, the guerilla's commander pulls out something he prepared for years to help. AO3 | FANFICTION

WORDS: 6k | Want to get tagged for the succeeding chapters? Sign up here.

Levi, Isabel, you, and Erwin stayed inside the conference room after everyone in the HQ called it a night. An old vintage television is open and its news flash report further echoed the already grim mood. 

“Breaking news: Stohess citizens, abducted by rebels to avenge their comrade’s death.”

“What?!” Isabel grimaced.

“Reportedly thirteen soldiers were dead on arrival while five were injured. Citizen casualties remain unknown as they were seized before back-ups had arrived. The rebel being avenged, Petra Ral, was a university student branded as the ‘brainwashed Eldian.’ Ms. Ral was said to be killed after trying to shoot a Military Police officer,” the newscaster continued.

“So this is their game?” Isabel taunted at the air. “Bet they’d make these five soldiers who weren’t even there fool the media with sob stories of how merciless we were.”

Petra did not deserve such disdain at her name, but this time you remain composed instead of making a scene yet again. It’s not like you could do anything about it, not when the next person interviewed on the news was your former boss—the same man who berated Petra at the cafe, the same man who made you realize how desperate you were for normalcy to the point of letting a precious friend’s reputation undeservingly stepped on over and over. Your then-boss sputtered a lot of nonsense on live TV to make his exposure longer. He spoke of how barbaric Petra was, of how he regretted hiring a girl like her, and even went far as to mention your name—that you were one of the poor fellows fooled by Petra’s “so-called” kindness because, before you went AWOL, he caught you staring daggers at him which sent shivers down his spine. He even added in his final statement, “It wouldn’t surprise me if she joined the rebels, too. Petra was smart enough to brainwash students who seemed like a complete airhead like her workmate.”

The one who broke the grim atmosphere (or perhaps made it even worse) was Erwin. He chuckled, sardonically so, as if it was nothing but a noontime gag show and your then-boss was none but a stand comedian.

Levi had the face saying ‘the fuck are you laughing on’ but didn’t waste energy to tell him out loud because, after all, out of all people inside the room, Erwin would be the one to react most unkindly once your name was said in a bad light. It’s always been that way for you, even back in Mitras, so annoyingly protective even after you berate him for taking on fights that were yours to take in the first place.

Perhaps Isabel deemed the laugh utterly displeasing and felt compelled to turn off the TV and change the topic—you were her chosen target, “I actually don’t know what name to call you anymore. Would you rather go by your original name, A—”

“That is not my original name,” you grimaced but quickly regained composure because, if anything, Isabel meant no harm, “I’m sorry. I just—I don’t like the name. Please call me as it is.”

“I prefer your current name now, too! Erwin said you were the one who came up with it as a child. How did that happen, though?”

“Erwin’s aunt allowed me to do so after she adopted me. Now that I think of it,” you then turn to Erwin to ask, “You were the one who suggested to give me a new name. Did you do that to hide me from the royal family?”

“If I were Erwin, I would’ve done the same if not more. The last thing I’d want for you is to be used as collateral for a prophecy that can’t even be proven unless you die,” Isabel tapped Erwin’s shoulders. “Smart move, Er—ouch! Levi, be more gentle!”

Levi carefully tied Isabel’s hair up to tend the wounds on her back, after which he called your name to say, “The royal family and its cohorts are squeezing their brains out to find you. Not even your face as a child could be retrieved. It was as if someone intentionally ensured that your traces would be erased.”

“When I was young, everyone in the village made a precaution to not take pictures of me. I thought it’s because camera flashes could be a trigger as they could potentially be associated with explosions, but the reason is much clearer now.”

“Seems like Erwin’s family was hands-on with you.”

“Erwin himself, even,” Levi mused, “he’s been watching you all this time. Erwin and I had known each other even before you went to university. He was the one who urged me to let you in. The ‘room for rent’ poster at the university bulletin board was intended only for you to see—just so you’d think you found us all by yourself.”

Your eyes widened.

“That’s a bit creepy,” Isabel shuddered.

“Oh, it seems like you’re not fond of saying your acts of love out loud, yeah?” Levi quipped nonchalantly at the man in question. Erwin, although stoic, seemed to ask Levi what he was trying to do right now. But even before he got to, you glared at him and asked, “Is that true?” 

“It is.”

“And you didn’t tell me anything, Levi?” the next glare was for him.

“That’s my next question to Erwin,” Levi lowered his voice, darkly so. “As I said, I’m not here to mess around with whatever prophecy the royal family is brewing behind our backs. If you still don’t give us the context regarding her identity, I’m taking Isabel home with me.”

“Hey, Levi,” Isabel grimaced.

If Erwin was threatened with that, he showed no signs of it. Instead he looked at you. His gaze was silent but asking. It didn’t take you long to construe what it was: Would you like to be the one to answer? It concerns your past, after all.

“Did you really save her from those fires?”

And thus, you tried answering in his stead, “Yes. As far as my memories are concerned, he saved me, but…”

“But what?”

Try to recall it. Try to recall it.

Years ago, you saw the giant tree and witnessed Erwin crying for the first and last time, after which he started avoiding you. He started locking the door of his room so you wouldn’t enter. You thought of ways to apologize, including searching around their house for an apology gift, leading you to a newspaper clip in his father’s room. You saw the headline news of your house being burnt to shreds. Then you remembered. You remembered what really happened in that house.

What happened? You already remembered what really happened! Why couldn’t you recall it?

You just woke up blaming Erwin all of a sudden. It came to a point that Carly brought you far away from him to ease your panic attacks. She got you checked by a psychiatrist. The professional said that your brain might be formulating memories that didn’t happen.

Then…? What happened next again…? How did your relationship with Erwin get fixed again?

Erwin eventually forced himself to your new home. He lived with you and made attempts to clear the misunderstanding. He recalled the truth to you, repeatedly so, and you finally succumbed to him when he saved you from the fires in the vacant lot—a fire instigated by random kids.

That’s what had happened, right?

Then why… Why do you have a dream about Erwin instigating that fire himself to convince you, albeit forcefully, that he saved you?

What exactly have you seen that day?

“Hey,” Isabel patted your shoulder to cut your thoughts off. “You okay?”

“I am not sure,” you muttered, “I’m not sure what I’ve seen that day,” you clasped both hands on your head, wide-eyed, utterly confused. “It’s as if my brain is making up something. It’s as if it’s intentionally painting Erwin in a bad light. The voices are speaking inside my head, full of warning, even if Erwin’s the last one to hurt me out of all the people in this world.”

REALLY? IS THAT REALLY THE CASE, LITTLE FLOWER?

“People who went through horrible situations could really have foggy recollection, you know? Your brain has a reason to be like that to protect you. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Don’t force yourself to remember.” Isabel seemed really worried this time. 

REALLY? REALLY? REALLY?

Isabel’s glare tightened at Levi. Erwin’s gaze was looking on you, then to Levi not long after, “Is that what would make you stay? Forcing her past out of her—making her remember the things she had forgotten to protect her sanity—would that really help you unveil the truth of how bastard of a father Kenny was to Furlan?”

‘Don’t speak as though Furlan’s death is not connected to her identity in the first place!’ is what Levi almost said; you could see the look of disdain on his face. But his face softened as soon as he glanced at you. You wouldn’t like to hear that from him. Erwin was right. Your past is not the primary reason he and Isabel joined the guerillas. It’s to uncover Furlan’s death. 

Levi sighed, exasperated, then gave you a bottle of water. “Isabel is right. Don’t force yourself too much.”

The days went by with Levi and Erwin seemingly in a rift between each other, yet they were still able to work efficiently for the next mission.

It came to Erwin that the Military Police distributed a huge intelligence fund to find Anna. This eventually resulted in rising worries of citizens, especially women, as they felt like someone was watching them. Some condemned the Military Police for it, but some defended it and said it was all for the prosperity of Eldia and that the royal family surely knew what they were doing.

You managed to build relations with the establishments where most Military Police hang out, which led you to befriend Marie, the owner of the bar nearest to the Interior Police headquarters, and she hired you immediately when you said you’ve been trying to find a job.

“Bloody hell, I feel like every woman I’ve been fuckin’ lately could potentially be Anna,” the MP soldier hiccuped as you poured him another drink, “and that I can’t let night pass without questionin’ ’em. It’s that or my promotion at risk, y’know?”

“It must be unfortunate to be a soldier,” you lamented. “Maybe I must be grateful I settled on a job like this.”

“I also am grateful, ya see,” he giggled and scooted closer, breath reeked of beer—disgustingly so, “’cause I get to have a beauty like ya pourin’ my glass after a long, long day.”

Fortunately, Marie swatted him away from you, “That’s my girl you’re touching there.”

“Oh, why so stingy! She’s the first woman ya hired since this damn business got movin’! Lemme have my share as yer best customer!”

“I sell liquor, not women—as if it’s even ethical to sell women,” Marie rolled her eyes and, as swift as ever, collected the used glasses at the counter. “Why don’t you find that wanted girl first so you’d have your long-awaited promotion? Flirting around won’t get you there.”

“Easy for ya to say because yer husband’s already a high-rankin’ dog!” he spat. “These damn women, suckin’ higher officers’ dick off—hic—but scold low-rankin’ soldiers tailin’ ’em.” This time, he sounded like sulking to himself, although Marie could still hear it.

Poor Marie. This bar was swamped by drunkard soldiers when their reputation changed from valor to perversion due to the intelligence mission, and yet this drunk man in front of you trying to mimic Kenny’s way of talking didn’t make the nuisance lighter.

“It’s already a woman’s burden to be tailed by the likes of you and yet you still have the guts to blame us.”

“‘Ya sayin’ something?!” the man shot daggers to the now enraged Marie, “Know yer place and just keep suckin’ yer husband off after his long long day of workin’ his ass off! Just for yer damned bar!” then he spitted on the counter. “Ya thought just ’cause ya got chance doin’ business, yer already superior to us, huh? I bet ya husband’s just lettin’ you ’cause of how good you are in bed! Know yer place and—”

The whole place is rattled into silence when Marie slaps the soldier, clearly offended, eyes shaking in anger. You thought how hard it must’ve been to her all this time, to have such barbaric customers in and out of her lawn. Perhaps that’s even the main reason why she wasn’t fond of hiring women until you asked her for help.

It was even more pitiful when a group of drunk soldiers came to rescue the man. They spat curses to the both of you, of how this whole operation of finding an unknown girl has been stressing their guts, of how they would still do it anyway because they’re men who merely wanted the prosperity of Eldia—the prosperity of the women who so despised them.

Just before Marie could request security, one soldier suddenly exclaimed, “Ah! You must be that person! Hah, we found her. We found Anna!”

It was as though a bucket of ice was thrown at you. But then, their inebriated selves were looking at Marie. They claimed Marie as the wanted girl just because she defended herself against blatant disrespect. No one seems to be functioning properly because of the liquor, hence none of them would cut the commotion off. “You see, one thing we know about Anna is that she’s a child born out of the Interior Police’s operation. Some soldier fucked a woman of a powerful lineage, a lineage so powerful that it could give the holy tree!”

“What are you trying to say?!” Marie shouted back, fuming.

“So the product of that operation must be affiliated to the military, one way or another! Right, right?! Don’t you think so?! We’re all stuck in this because someone in our ranks is a snitch! That’s it! We solved it!”

His remark seemed to turn on the lightbulbs of every soldier inside the bar. Their eyes start becoming more predatory—perhaps even more desperate, because their superiors are onto nothing but “Find her, find her, find her!” recently that every woman they come across salivates their desire to get this over with.

While you’re secretly communicating with the guerilla unit near the area so they’d arrive before the commotion starts, what he said bothered you to no end. No, it didn’t just bother you—it made you remember something, and it’s the first time you have remembered something you’re sure is accurate. 

“Once she turns ten, she’ll be the royal family’s property. Don’t you get attached to her,” he says.

“No way you’d tell that to a mother like me,” she quips, voice laced with honey. “Worry not, she is aware of it herself. Aren’t you, my cute little girl?” then pinches your cheeks.

“Yes, I do! Once I turn ten, I will bless the royal family with prospre—prospreri—prospreritri—”

“It’s prosperity,” your father spats. He seems about to scold you but ends up shaking his head instead. “Nevermind. Not like it’d make a difference if you were born smart.”

“Give her some slack,” your mother quips then fondly looks at you, “don’t mind him. Daddy’s jealous because you’re special.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because our bloodline is special! We’re saviors capable of finding the tree and awakening its bearer! Awaking the bearer means giving prosperity to Eldia!”

“Yay! Prosprerity!”

Your mother’s laugh gets even louder, and although your father still looks annoyed, you can see him holding back a smile.

“Miss Marie, pray tell, pray tell,” a soldier hummed, “where do the rebels stay?”

“You son of a—” Marie cut herself off and shot you a glance instead. “Go get someone to fix this.”

You nodded and tried to walk away, but another soldier cornered you, “Why do you think we could let you go when you’re working alongside this woman?” then his face turned sour, “You’re a damn rebel too, aren’t you? Look at how young you are, as old as that orange bitch!”

You very much knew who he was talking about, so your rage did something unhelpful to the situation: you slapped him hard, tears in the corner of your eyes. It enraged the soldier just the same, and so he ordered, “Cuff the two of them!” You tried to defend yourselves, but twenty inebriated soldiers were still soldiers; even if you managed to knock down five of them, someone would be swift enough to point a knife at Marie’s neck. That was your cue to stop fighting. The soldier smiled sardonically, “I see you’re a good girl.”

You let yourself be cuffed, nothing ringing in your mind but vital information you gathered while staying here.

The previous week, a customer working as a clerk inside the Interior Police said that Commander Kenny’s son was a needed sacrifice for the prosperity of mankind. He mourns for him, but it must not be mistaken for Petra who died at the same age. Petra was a life wasted. Had the rebels heeded the warning to give Anna over, no one would have been killed. You asked her then, “So it was a massacre, wasn’t it?” She shrugged and answered, “Is it really relevant if we’re talking about the rebels? The government had always wanted to get rid of them. Who would budge if it really was a massacre?”

Then, two days ago, a young soldier who had just been promoted to be a part of the Interior Police valiantly said, “Someone as powerful as Anna must be kept by the authorities, but look where she is instead, in the hands of the rebels! The royal family means no harm. They need her power for their citizens’ prosperity. It must not be held by the Eldians who could abuse it!” And so you asked him, “Do you know what Anna’s power really is?” Instead, he glared at you, “Are you not attending the church every Sunday?” When you shook your head, he sighed, deeming you lower than him. The young soldier told you everything Isabel and Levi knew about the prophecy and the tree. After thirty minutes of him rambling, you finally cut him off out of annoyance. “Do you know what exactly Anna’s part is?” You then realize that the young boy doesn’t know at all. He doesn’t know a thing, yet he still holds their words dear because they’re his fellow believers, and believing them means being loyal to the royal family.

When you and Marie were all tied and surrounded by drunk soldiers pretending as though they were inside an interrogation room, you asked,” Why do you think rebels exist, Officer?”

“Because they’re incompetent and aching for war, ruining peace for their own gain. Why? Finally admitting you’re one of them? Oh, we gon’ reward you real good, then.”

“The royal government and its cohorts are the ones ruining peace for their own gain. The rebels just retaliated to defend themselves.”

Another soldier pushed him away in a glare, “Yeah? So what is your relation to them?”

“They saved me.”

“Oh, poor girl. She must’ve been brainwashed, too,” the other one sitting on the counter, about to faint, murmured while hugging his bottle. 

“Do you know where Anna is? How about the Commander? What does he look like?”

You didn’t speak. That’s something they could never squeeze out of you. The drunk soldier, much to your and Marie’s surprise, hit your head hard with the bottle. You tried your very best to gulp down your scream, tried your very best to not let the pain know because Erwin trained you for it. You felt the blood drip to your cheeks and chin until droplets of it came down to your shirt. Marie’s screams made you dizzy.

In a span of a moment, you get the urge to sleep, but something uncanny makes you alert—the longer the blood permeates the room, the darker it gets. You thought you were merely feeling things because of the head injury, but you were sure everyone else had felt it, too. The soldier who hit you looked so utterly horrified not long after. He seemed sober again. The soldier who was about to sleep just stood up to scream. The glass bottles on the shelves started clanking against each other as the tables began shaking. The barely cleaned roof showered everyone with its long-standing dust just as if they were alive and as scared as you all were. It wasn’t long for Marie to faint, too.

Out of nowhere, everyone started kneeling at you, shouting their apologies, acting as though they just angered an otherworldly entity. You looked down at them, aghast, as the concussion in your head and the blood you were losing didn’t help you comprehend the situation at hand. 

The pin of the grenade was the rats under the floor, running and running as if an onslaught was happening inside their homes. The wind reeked of corpses, of anger, of suffocating entity taking control of every molecule in the space.

“T-the voice… it’s the same feeling when the voices speak…” you murmur to yourself. You did so repeatedly as the soldiers wept harder until the door banged open. 

“Why are they kneeling and crying?” Moblit exclaimed in horror.

“No! Why are they kneeling and crying while she is tied and bleeding? Oh god, Nifa! First aid kit, please!” Hange ordered.

“Oh, y-you’re here… Thank heavens.”

However, your relief was quickly replaced with horror upon seeing Erwin’s face. It’s always been like this. Back when you two were younger, your playmates have always been so scared to play pranks at you because the first time they did, young Erwin—as you quote them—had ‘made them see hell.’ Your head dripping with blood upon his arrival would obviously warrant a situation way worse than this. You might be safe now, but nobody else is—not with this sight.

“Who’s the one responsible for this?”

You refused to answer. Perhaps out of impulse, or perhaps because you finally realized how scared you are at Erwin all this time. The voices in your head may be the deeply rooted fear for Erwin the same way your former Mitras friends had feared him.

Erwin called your name and repeated the question.

“Don’t worry too much about this. More importantly, Marie, my—”

He walked towards you. The nearer his footsteps get, the more dreadful the atmosphere becomes. “Who did that to you?” 

Everyone went silent. The weeping became quiet strains. You were just about to repeat your remark—that there are more things to worry about—but then Erwin’s gaze turned to the soldier kneeling right before you.

The same officer who hit your head with the bottle.

“Commander, the place is starting to shake,” Nifa reported as she brought him the first aid kit.

“Is there an earthquake?”

“God, it reeks of corpses,” Hange pinched their nose.

“W-what?” Nanaba muttered in horror from the outside. “The rats are all over the road.”

“What the fuck is happening?”

“Fourth squad, check if the bar owner has incurred wounds. Treat her if need be. Miche, seize the soldiers. Do it quickly. Something strange is happening. Let’s leave this place all at once.” 

“How about her…?” Hange pointed at you only for their question to be answered immediately as soon as Erwin untied you himself and applied pressure on your concussion.

With all the strength you have left inside you, you try to bargain, “D-don’t hurt the soldiers,” but his face didn’t change; hence, you repeated, “Don’t you dare hurt the soldiers, Erwin.”

Despite the whole place shaking, more stray animals panicking, and people weeping in fear, his scowl was only due to your pleas. “I loathe this attitude the most. If you ought to be too merciful of your enemies, even to the point of not holding them accountable, you might as well sit still and never join any operation again.”

“They must pay for this. We both know they must… b-but—hah,” you stammered, clearly struggling not to let the dizziness take over your consciousness. “they have information regarding Anna. I heard most of it already so—”

“So they must talk about it before bullets strike their heads.”

“No,” you stopped him from addressing your wounds to look straight in the eye, “It’s not the guerilla’s move to get swayed by their emotions, yes? You—hah—you’re the one who told me.”

If he weren’t too livid, he’d be chuckling sardonically. You almost saw him do so. “I’m not fond of repeating myself.”

He’s primarily here to ruin anyone who dared to go after you—you didn’t forget that, but it irks you. Amidst your consciousness on the precipice of leaving, anger kept you awake. How helpless have you been all this time that he naturally thought this was something to be done? And why is he depriving you of dealing with your issues now that you can do so? 

“I must be the one to do that. Don’t take it away from me.”

There, you saw a glimpse of amusement in his features.

How sweet of you, really — he might’ve thought — how pathetically kind to try and save them by taking the punishment job in his stead. It’s not like you’re entirely wrong—you have all the right to subject all the needed punishment to those who laid their hands on you. It’s just that you lack something he’s been so full of all his life: resentment. He’s not just doing this for you. It’s to satiate his anger for those who dared, and while he trusts you with all of his life, he just knew you wouldn’t be able to do it the way he wants to.

“Are you worried that they’d feel pain?”

“No. Don’t try to change this—”

“Don’t you worry, silly flower. Corpses can’t feel more pain.”

“Erwin,” you warned.

“Sleep.”

“I’d seriously leave you if you do this.”

You almost saw his features falter. Before you fainted, you heard him mutter, “I’d like to see how that goes.”

The next thing you knew, you were on the infirmary bed inside the Underground, and news of what happened at Marie’s bar terrified every single citizen of Eldia, rebels alike. Believers of the prophecy increased just as the fear of the conquest horseman did. That was also the needed confirmation for Levi and Isabel because the captured soldiers spoke in a language they only heard from you before killing themselves. 

“You told me you wouldn’t kill them!” you stormed to the conference room where Erwin and the squad leaders were meeting.

“I didn’t,” Erwin said. “Go back to your room and rest. You’re still not in your best shape.”

“You killed them, didn’t you?! I told you I’ll deal with them myself!”

“He didn’t kill them. We were there. We did interrogate them, but before they could say anything, they sputtered shit and killed themselves,” Levi snapped.

After a sigh, Erwin asked, “Would you like to sit, then? That’s what we’re talking about right now.” His offer made you look at everyone who’s just as lost. Your face flushed with embarrassment. You didn’t even get to fix your hair before storming inside. You sad down beside Levi, and Erwin finally continued. “Not only did they babble in a language we’re yet to understand, they also had the same carvings written on their bodies.”

“The same carvings written on Furlan’s corpse,” Levi begrudgingly admitted.

“So, the prophecy really might be true…” Miche pondered. “Then does that mean their land grabbing in pursuit of Eldia’s prosperity could be justified?”

“Would taking lands out of their tillers be justifiable with some dark magic in our lands? How about how the royal family’s cohorts privately named the seized lands theirs? Would the power of the tree explain that?” Levi scowled.

“There are only things we confirmed in this fiasco. First, the prophecy must be investigated further, and second, the conquest horseman born out of that tree—whoever they might be—does not side with the royal family. We must also find them to know their motives, and…” Erwin looked at Levi, “…to avenge Furlan Church, the first casualty they had brought to our ranks.”

Seems like Levi and Erwin were able to fix their rift while you were unconscious but it doesn’t change the fact that the horseman slipped away from your hands—the very being that haunted you since god knows when, and it was there on that day. You also realized it as soon as the atmosphere got uncanny and the soldiers knelt before you—oh. Oh god.

“Okay, so now, before we dig deeper, does anybody know what the prophecy entails in the first place?” Hange asked. “Sorry, I’m not a churchgoer, so…”

It was Levi who answered, “The church said that the Eldian race was once called ‘Subjects of Ymir,’ and we contain a power brought by a giant tree. The people blessed upon it, however, used the power in vain and committed atrocities all over the world, and so the whole Eldian race perished. The Church believes multiple worlds stipulate the universe, and this one we have is just one of them. The Eldian race was supposed to cease existence as their divine punishment, but a bloodline who also got power from that tree saved us from it.” 

“And perhaps we can deduce that your bloodline is related to it, no?" Miche faced you. "Your counterintelligence report at Marie’s bar confirmed that a soldier admitted your upbringing was an operation led by the royal family where one of their men copulated with a woman of the same lineage.”

“And, as far as her recollection is concerned, said parents have mentioned giving her up to the royal family once she turns ten,” Moblit added.

“And! It just so happened that the fires happened on your tenth birthday!” Hange beamed. “Oh, you powerful girl.”

“It would seem as though I did it all by myself, no?” you chuckle blankly. “Burning people into crisps, inducing fear and suicide, carving on their corpses, among many other cruel things no sane human could do…”

“No, sorry,” Hange backed off, expression softening. “That’s not what I meant at all.”

Awkward silence permeated the room until Erwin cleared his throat, “To continue where Levi left off, the royal family wants the tree back in their grasp. One report we got from Petra's team before they were killed was that the previous king, Uri Reiss, on his deathbed, dreamt of the person who had saved the Eldian race through the power of the tree. His last words were, ‘Find her and her lineage, give them gratitude, for they used the tree’s power beyond their own gains.’ The royal family then deduced that by finding this lineage, they could use the tree once again. That’s the end of their report. Nothing has been found about the operation once it took place.”

The rest of the meeting was about recalibrating tasks inside the unit, considering that the prophecy was real. As soon as they finished, you followed Erwin to his room. You ensured no one would be lurking around outside, for you were about to say something that could scare them.

“The conquest devil is living inside me. I’m sure of it. That’s why they’re finding me.”

Erwin was silent, tormentingly so, and thus you repeat louder. “The conquest devil is living inside me. Everyone must know that the threat is within their ranks. You, of all people, must know what should be done at this point.”

“You see,” Erwin called your name, “while I wouldn’t deny that, I doubt it. You were not around the area when Furlan got killed, and Marie told us everything you had said. None of them could be used against you. Meaning, you didn’t say anything unusual of your character.”

“So all I have to do is prove that it’s inside me, right? Okay, then. Worry not, Commander.” Exasperated, you opened the door to dismiss yourself, only for Erwin to stop you. “Let go, Erwin.”

“They know what the voices inside you have been saying. Levi and I made a report out of it.”

You faced him wide-eyed, yet he looked at you gently, “A-and? What did they say?”

“It didn’t raise their doubts. In fact, they were filled with sympathy.” Your grasp at the knob loosened and Erwin got the chance to close the door again. He let you register the statement for a few minutes.

“They didn’t doubt me,” you repeated. “Not a single doubt at all?”

He held your shoulders against the door and gently asked, “Wanna know why?” You really are clueless as to why. Those alone are objective facts. How could they—

“Because they know you. And you’re dear to them just as they’re dear to you. When Marie explained how you defended the guerillas without fear, Nifa even started to cry. Isabel and Levi weren’t surprised, though.” His remark silenced you, your thoughts, and your horrifying claims about yourself. It was so apparent on your face that Erwin knew he won the argument yet again.

“I still wouldn’t remove the possibility that the conquest horseman lives inside me, but… yes, I understand.”

“Yup. Do as you please.”

That’s when you start getting embarrassed at the distance. Erwin is still pressing your shoulders against the door with a smile so sweet it makes you think how privileged you must’ve been to be one of his chosen people to receive a smile like that from him, knowing well not anyone could have it even if they hardly wished so.

“In the other world, what was my name? Is it Anna?”

“Strange enough, it’s not. Why do you ask?”

“Then, is my name in the other world the same as the one I go by right now?”

Erwin nodded, and so you beamed as it confirmed that your very being was not tied to poor child Anna's fate. “I like the name Carly had given me better. Glad to know I got that name in the other worlds.” You smiled at Carly’s memory. You regret not visiting her before this catastrophe happened.

“Indeed, the name you go by now fits you more, but Carly didn’t give it to you. You were the one who came up with it when she asked.”

That reminder plucked a thorn out of your heart. It made you smile wide and sweet, the very smile Erwin likes to see. “So, you told me you saw what that tree could offer. Tell me about it.”

Erwin smiled ruefully, “I told you. It’s how beautiful you look in worlds even beyond this one.”

“Seriously, I’m not kidding around.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding around?”

You rolled your eyes, hoping it could conceal the fluster instead, “Then, who am I aside from my beauty that goes beyond different worlds?” Hell, saying it out loud sounds so embarrassing. 

However, Erwin’s smile faltered, “After you used the power granted by the tree to save the Eldian race, your existence was subjected to death and despair. In every other world, you always end up dying miserably. Even now I see that you’re still being chased by it.”

“I’m the one who—” you covered your mouth in surprise, “I’m the exact person who did all that?”

“Yes, perhaps the royal family knows by now that you’re the person they’ve been finding for so long; that’s why their search for you got even more unrelenting.”

“God, how cruel. Why am I dying repeatedly after doing that much, then?!”

“Breaking divine laws, I suppose?”

“If that isn’t a beauty that goes beyond worlds, huh!” you huffed. Erwin, however, is still smiling as if he meant praise literally. It flustered you further. Is this due to your stress? Are you perhaps seeking comfort?

“Who were you in those worlds?” 

“I’m not sure. The worlds I’ve seen are just glimpses. The only thing clear is that you were the only one in your bloodline who used the power granted to your lineage and willingly carried the consequences tied to it.”

That’s sad to know, yet deep inside you, you’d still choose that path if that meant Erwin and all of your loved ones would not cease to exist.

“What are we in those worlds, then? Did we also know each other in childhood?"

“Uh… It's a bit more complicated than that.”

“Okay, what are we to each other based on the glimpses you’ve seen?”

He seemed to hesitate at one point, but perhaps saying it out loud made his smile return, “My lovely wife, that’s who you are back there.”

🔖@cadenza-damour @xiaotopia (hi u two it's been a YEAR [god i cant stress this ENOUGH] since ive updated this fic and i would totally understand if you'd want to get excluded from the tag list from hereon!! please gimme a heads up if this is the case, :) ty!!)

prev | GET TAGGED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

[spectorbear]

— strangers (soulmates) (teaser)

pairing: erwin smith x f!reader

part one here!

“ wish i could go back to the day we met and leave you be, sit and look pretty. ” - jess benko, a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

taglist: open

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

postwar!Levi absolutely chafes under enforced bedrest, unfamiliar and uncomfortable with doing nothing

his useless legs feel like cinderblocks holding the waterlogged sack of his body to a riverbed, drowning slow

his nervous system hasn’t caught up to the uneasy peace, flooding his veins with adrenaline that has nowhere to go, leaving him gasping for air and sick over the side of his bed

he can’t clean the mess, and that might be the worst thing of all, the helpless wait for someone to witness his weakness

postwar!Levi can’t tell his fevered dreams from reality, follows the green smudge of Erwin’s cloak across an endless battlefield, calls to his commander till he’s lost his voice and wakes up tasting copper

the people who come to check on him are not who he wants to see- why hasn’t Hange visited, changing his bandages with her steady hands?

he leads Isabel and Furlan up a set of stairs that never seem to end, crunching over the hollow bones of birds that died searching for the sky

postwar!Levi finds his clarity has returned one featureless morning and he weeps for the first time since the battle of heaven and earth, mourns the loss of the delirium that had left the door open for his loved ones to creep through

he begins to recognize the recurring figures at his bedside, the gentle touch on his forehead that signals your arrival with water or blankets or bread

the light of anything more than a candle burns his blind eye, so he learns your face only by the flicker of firelight, the absence of shadow

postwar!Levi is desperate for something to occupy his fractured mind, painfully empty without the urgency of strategizing survival

you hide your surprise when he asks you to read to him in a voice rasped with disuse, saying he doesn’t care what it is, just something to focus on outside of himself, and you understand

you begin to visit him every evening, reading softly from your favorite books as he lies taut and silent in bed, brow furrowed in concentration, breathing through the pain that wracks his battered body

postwar!Levi finds unlikely comfort in your voice, your consistent presence, the slow walks along the winding paths of the stories you tell him

you take a quiet pride in the way he seems to soften each night, just barely, the deep black shadows under his haunted eyes fading into the color of an old bruise, his furrowed brow smoothing into satin as you read

postwar!Levi is sitting up when you arrive one evening, gives you the barest incline of his head in self-conscious greeting

he frowns and shrugs off your praise for his progress, doesn’t want to hear of how miraculous it is that he can heave his once-superhuman body up against the headboard, doesn’t confess how long it took or how much it hurt

he does, however, ask you for tea, not telling you that it would be the first time he’s accepted a cup he hadn’t prepared himself, swallowing a sick resignation with the request

postwar!Levi makes eye contact with you for the first time when he offers gruff thanks, shivering as your fingertips brush around the warm ceramic

something clenches in your chest and you turn away to hide it, occupying yourself with invisible specks of dust on his bedspread

you’re busy swiping the corner of your apron over the nightstand and miss the way his eyes go wide, then soften as he watches you bustle around him

“it’s alright. you don’t have to-” “-I know.”

the two of you speak at the same time, fall into the same embarrassed silence, watching each other warily in the low candlelight

your shadows overlap where they are thrown onto the wall as if they don’t realize the distance between the bodies that grew them, or refuse to recognize it at all

[hanjisungslag]

Headcanons for when aot men get jealous? Maybe seeing reader and someone else spending time together and getting agitated and then dragging them away - ‘Pay attention to me not them.’ sort of vibe.

💢 aot men & jealously

characters included: eren, armin, connie, jean, reiner, bertolt, erwin and levi.

notes: this ask had me floored.

☆ eren jaeger

he caught you and reiner talking to each other AGAIN.

this has happened one too many times and eren finally loses it.

he’d definitely say something like “what about spending time with your boyfriend instead of him, hm?”

very temperamental about the whole thing..

one second he’ll be furious, next he’ll be sad, next he’ll be happy you’re back to spending time with each other

but mostly angry over it.

he storms over and pushes reiner away from you as he comes between the both of you, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing with MY partner?” eren asked threateningly “woah eren we were just—” but before reiner could say anything, eren grabbed your arm and stormed off with you.

☆ armin arlert

you and jean are very close friends

too close, your boyfriend may say.

armin usually lets things slide at first, he doesn’t want to come off as overbearing or jealous

also you and jean are just friends at the end of the day, right?

but one day, you and jean are laughing away as usual and armin asks what’s so funny and you say..

“oh, it’s an inside joke. you wouldn’t get it.”

after you said this, you continued to laugh. but armin had reached his breaking point, he slammed his hands on the dinner table and rose from his seat turning to face you, “y/n. get up.” your smile drops as you also get up from your chair. you two walk out the dinner hall. armin quickly speaks up “pay attention to me, not him.”

☆ connie springer

you and berty boy were spending wayyy too much quality time together.

making you spend less time with your own boyfriend!

connie obviously took this to heart and had to do what a man’s gotta do

aka pull a prank on bert.

every single day for like 2 weeks, connie would do something just to cause him inconvenience.

just like hiding his things right before practice, stealing food off his plate, replacing his sugar with salt, messing up his laundry etc.

but now what was connie going to do with you? after he pulled one of his pranks on bert he saw you HELPING him so not only do you spend all your time with him but now you’re ruining connie’s revenge plan? nope, not happening. he slams bert’s door open not taking any notice that the both of you are trying to talk to him, he just grabs you and pulls you into the hall. “last time i checked, i was your boyfriend. so, stop acting like bert is.”

☆ jean kirstein

there was someone in the survey corps who clearly had a thing for you

but you didn’t seem to notice. supposedly.

anyways, you guys would spend quite a bit of time together especially during expeditions.

jean obviously took offence to this and what does he do?

showboats🗣️🗣️

while on an expedition, you and this guy were chatting away, killing titans, all the usual stuff. but little did you know, from the back, jean was watching all of this happening and he was getting pissed off. his anger built up so much that when it came to killing the titans be whipped out half of them on his own. everyone was super impressed and the girls started complimenting you for having such a strong, brave boyfriend.

he pulls you aside afterwards and says “that was because of you and him, you know? so, you better start paying more attention to me now.”

☆ reiner braun

there was this one guy from garrisons who adored you!

and you thought he was sweet and you’d always try and catch up with him when you could.

which reiner would say was too often.

reiner would definitely intimidate this guy with how huge he is.

it’d be intimidating even reiner wasnt massive because he was just a garrison.

he’d pump his chest out more and wrap his big arms around you in front of him to prove how much bigger and better he was.

and when it came to you, he was so mad. as you stepped away from the garrison guy, he took his arm off of you and grabbed you by the shoulders turning you to face him. “hey. you better stop talking to that fucking whimp. i’m your boyfriend.”

☆ bertolt hoover

you and connie were super close.

you both trained together, love pulling pranks and just bounce off each other so well.

some people sometimes even think you’re a couple..!

but you already have a boyfriend.

bert doesn’t like to speak up about how he feels for a while until something really tips him over the edge.

bert always used to ignore how close you and connie were, he was too shy to say anything in the first place but he also didn’t want to ruin your guys’ relationship by being jealous. that was until someone asked if you and connie were a couple. that was his final straw. he calmly walked over to you but grabbed you with a grip you wouldn’t expect from bertolt. you found yourself outside with him where he looks you dead in the eyes “unless you actually want connie to be your boyfriend, you better start paying more attention to me, y/n.”

☆ levi ackerman

you mostly worked in the offices after a bad injury.

and there was this one librarian who really took a liking to you.

but, you’re already coupled up with mr. ackerman.

levi sees you guys talking all the time. sees that you’re in the library quite a lot even when you don’t need to be.

because of this he delegated menial work to him and even you, when he’s feel mean.

but when he catches you STILL talking while doing the tasks he set for you, he loses it.

you got distracted from your task when your little librarian friend starts discussing this ancient book he discovered the other day and as you were chatting away, you heard the door creak.. you jump out of your skin, trying to return to your task but it was too late. levi had already seen you. he calmly marched towards you and pulls you away to the other end of the library “is that what i said your task was, y/n? come here, i got a better task for you like helping your boyfriend. not this cretin.”

( however at the end of the week when things were all cleared up and you ask him about it he just says “me? jealous? no, i wasn’t.” )

☆ erwin smith

you and mike were working a little too closely lately.

erwin saw the way mike looked at you longingly

at first he thought it was nothing, he wasn’t even jealous!

until mike starts getting more physical

a shoulder brush here, a slight hand touch there

after this, he fully loses it.

erwin side eyes you and mine when he sees his hand gently brush up against yours, it could be pure accident but erwin couldn’t care less. he had gone too far. he marched over tall and mighty and swiftly stole you from mike “i’m the only man who gets to do that to you, you hear me?”

[sjywrites]

༊*·˚ FIGHT OR LOSE LOSS

𝓖enre. angst. 𝓢ypnosis. fighting with some of the aot characters over something stupid before leaving for a mission, but never getting the time to clear it up. 𝓒𝓦 . major character death.

𝓝ote. I wrote for some of the other characters too but I can only add 10 pictures :( lmk if you want those!

--_'°~=-.--

this is so bad and probably has a gazillion spelling mistakes but I had some inspiration to write and I feel like I have starved you all for soooo long so it was about time I posted something 😓

[salnanaa]

till we meet again

[dragonsoulage]

His sweet paramedic...

feat. Levi Ackerman

Levi wounded and hurt from the last battle he ever fought. Just moments after Eren was gone. But what remained was you, his sweet paramedic that always patched him up. Even his heart...

In this short story you are Hanges sister and a paramedic of the Corps. I was in the mood for some angsty, sad stuff after a heartbreaking AoT tiktok, we all know the depression about that right? 🥹🥲

Warnings: angst, sad, spoilers

Wordcount:1,2k

It was over. Finally, finally, it was over. Everything ended when Mikasa moved her blade toward Eren. There was an endless, sad, but loving moment between those two. And you... you had suffered as much as the others. Lost countless comrades and friends—your older sister, Hange. The Moment when she stated it as a sacrifice...and in the end, it was you watching her suicide. It had been hard more than that, for everyone. And yet, you were never alone. You were never left without someone...and that someone was Levi. 

It had been complicated between you two, he didn't want to admit he had feelings. After a long time...and when he figured out he had those feelings, he tried to distance himself. It was always like this, he was never ready to lose those he loved. And this man has already lost more than you could count. You're that sweet, little paramedic. He didn't want to lose you, either. His heart, already filled with sorrow, wouldn't take it. 

No matter how many wounds he had, how many things he sacrificed, he wasn't ready to get too close to the one he adored so much. 

But now, the battle was over. He leaned against that rock, and then he saw a small frame crawling towards him through the fog. It was you, you breathed heavily. Barely able to stand. Crawling towards him, the only one that has always remained in your life

"Levi." your voice was weak, he would have moved to you when he could, but His legs were damaged, seriously injured.

"(Y/N)." He called back to you, his gaze averting in your direction. You were on your knees before you tried to slowly stand up, walking over to him. You let out noises of exhaustion and stumbled over to him before you landed again on your knees, right by his side. Your hair is dusty and disheveled, and your pretty face is covered in dirt. Your eyes...oh, your pretty eyes—are filled with trauma, just like his. 

"It's over..." you spoke, your voice was so thin. It was over, yeah, but it didn't feel like a win. 

His hand stretched out to you, touching your skin on your cheek. Cupping your face with his palm, his remaining fingers marvel at your skin. He saw the big purple bruise that was on the crook of your neck, going to your jaw. You fought like every one of them, although your strength was clearly in first aid. His dark blue eyes are looking at you. The first time, he allowed himself to truly look into your eyes without withdrawing again.

"And you are still standing...remaining." His voice was laced with vurnablity and concern for you. Your own hand instantly went to his, and you laid it on top. 

The wind was slightly hollowing through the landscape, some strands of hair were blown back, so he just kept staring into your beautiful, sad face. Even now, among all this chaos, you are that beautiful, constant thing around him. Always there, yearning for his attention. He always tried to hold back. 

The mist was getting even more, and then you and him heard a noise. Both of you are looking up. And what you saw. 

Your heart couldn't take it, you couldn't even speak. You saw them...your comrades who died, your friends, Erwin and even your sister Hange. Your eyes welled up with tears. 

Your heart shattered to pieces for this last farewell. 

Levi's hand rested on your face while the other showed them the last honor. A rare sight, the stoic captain shed one single tear with a bitter smile. 

The last farewell to his chosen family. 

You felt his thumb stroking your cheek, catching the big tears that streamed down your face. It was the last gift from Eren, the last goodbye he could give you all. 

And then, after this fleeting moment when you could see your sister's face the last time, she had a smile, nodding towards you and Levi. 

Hange never tried to get involved in what was going on between you two when she was alive. 

But she was very well aware that you liked the captain, and that even Levi himself liked you more than he allowed himself. 

But now, nothing of this matters anymore. Hange no matter how crazy she was, wanted you to be happy, wanted Levi to be happy. This was the sign. 

When the mist was getting less, then slowly faded, you turned to Levi, you cried, you cried your very soul out. His forehead leaned against yours.

"Look at me, please look at me." His own voice was strained with the sorrow that was haunting you and him, yet he sounded strong. You looked into his eyes between those raven strands that were like a small curtain in front of his eyes. 

"It hurts, and I am not able to heal it." You explained. Yeah, you were a very skilled paramedic, but not even you could patch up a heart that was shattered into so many pieces. 

"Then at least we knew it was real. They were there, and a part of us. They made us who we are now." Levi spoke, it was serious, but his voice was rough with emotion for the very first time. 

20 Percent of humanity remained on earth, and you...you, his sweet girl, was one of them. 

The death was tragic, and the situation was bitter. The loss was immense, but for once he got lucky, fate was now so kind to not take you away. 

Levi was ready, ready to get closer, to heal together with you. 

"I am nothing without my sister... I barely even breathe." You never saw your own potential at all. Still, some bitter tears dropped from your lashes. Levi pulled your head closer, his nose brushed against yours. His lips are just inches away.

"You don't get it, don't you? You never was nothing, you always was so much more than you gave yourself credit for. 

Otherwise..." He stopped, it was time to say it, right now. Right now, when he already felt vurnable. 

"Life wasn't the nicest to me, to any of us. But it was so kind to leave you here with me. And I don't want you to say you would be nothing, Hange wouldn't want that either...(Y/N)." Levi continued looking at you, right into your very soul. 

"I love you." Levi then let out, his eyes, never leaving yours. Gazing into your orbs. Your pupils widen. Your tears didn't stop, but you then closed this small gap. Your soft, plump lips are pressing in a gentle and sweet way against his. 

With that, he poured all of his love into it, just like you did, as you always did. 

Even when the grief was big, he was the light on the horizon. Just like you were the missing piece, he finally found. 

This sweet kiss sends sparks of hope through yours and his veins. A glimpse of the future that now could be...a glimpse of the love he finally could share with you. 

The kiss on the battlefield that sealed wounds that would take a long time to heal, but they'd remain as memories of what had been.