#Erik did not have nearly enough time to process how hard this line goes

[smooth-boob]

This haunted face holds no horror for me now. It’s in your soul where the true distortion lies.

— Christine, The Phantom of the Opera, A.L.W.

[wallgirl]

The Little Nereid Part two

2200 words, part two of a five six part fanfiction

Poseidon x OC

Dynamene, youngest of the 50 Nereids, has lived most of her adolescence as a servant alongside her sisters at Poseidon’s palace. But with her coming-of-age birthday and other developments, what she initially thought was just admiration of her master blossoms into something stronger and more passionate… and painful.

Categories: Romance, angst, unrequited love, coming-of-age, earn-your-happy-ending; no NSFW content

---

               Once she had collected herself and spent enough time admiring the bracelet on her own, Dynamene rose from the bed with a sigh and went to her door. No doubt her family would be wondering what her running was about.

               Upon opening it, several of her sisters nearly fell into the room.

               “Why-! What are you all doing here?” Dynamene gasped, quickly stepping out of the way.

               “We heard you received your gift, and we didn’t want to disturb you, but we were just so curious…” One of the nymphs tweedled her fingers.

               “Ah, yes! My birthday present from Lord Poseidon!” Dynamene beamed and held her bracelet-clad hand up to the light, allowing her sisters a good look at it. They crowded around in awe, cooing with admiration.

               “Dynamene! Are you alright? Ianeira said you came running like a madwoman from Lord Poseidon’s quarters…” Actaea halted with relief at the sight of Dynamene showing off her new bracelet. “Oh, I get it now. So he did give you your gift himself, did he?” She gave Dynamene a rather knowing grin.

               Dynamene blushed. “I mean… Yes, he did. I was very surprised.” She began to turn the beads of the bracelet over in thought. “I’m very happy with it. It’s even mother-of-pearl.”

               “So it is!” Actaea stepped closer to get a better look. “It goes so well with the pins I gave you. You look absolutely spoiled now.”

               Dynamene giggled. “I do have to say that I’m very happy with the presents I’ve received thus far.”

               “Then you’re going to be even more delighted here in a moment,” another sister called from the far end of the hall. Slender Callianassa stood holding her treasured lyre in both hands. “Why don’t you all come down to the sitting room here? I’ll play you anything you’d like, Dynamene.”

               The sisters crowded together down to the large sitting area, one of over a dozen spread out throughout the palace. Dynamene took a place of honor, draped on the side of the couch closest to where Callianassa perched on a gilded chair. “What would you like to hear, Dyna?” Callianassa asked, lightly strumming the instruments strings.

               “Play me something by Erik Satie,” Dynamene said thoughtfully. Her thoughts continued to drift back to that moment in Poseidon’s quarters, where she had stood face-to-face with him.

               “Oh, Erik Satie! That’s furniture music,” Thoe scoffed from where she had begun brushing Actaea’s hair.

               “You’re so old-fashioned, Thoe,” murmured Callianassa. “Let’s see… I’ll start with the Gymnopedies, Dyna.” She began to softly pluck at the lyre.

               Dynamene gave a sigh of contentment and allowed herself to close her eyes. It really had been such a wonderful day thus far. She felt so lucky and at peace to be here, surrounded by her loving sisters, enjoying a calm afternoon on her birthday. The golden sunlight washing in through the open windows caressed her skin with warmth. The gentle, bittersweet melody began to envelop her, and she found herself picturing Poseidon’s unwavering grey gaze. The tender somberness of the song brought to mind the emptiness in his eyes. How was it that someone so beautiful, so mesmerizing, felt so completely cold and void?

               And yet a powerful aura emitted from him wherever he went. He was heartless, but he was also smart and strong. What he lacked in sentiment he made up for ten-fold as a god with his vast knowledge of the ocean and his subjects.

               The ocean, his domain… How fitting for a man as unfathomable as he.

               The sound of familiar footsteps echoing along a distant hall brought a stop to Callianassa’s playing, and Dynamene looked up. The rest of the Nereids halted whatever they were doing and stood; those footsteps could only belong to one person. Dynamene quickly got to her feet as well, straightening her peplos with quick hands. She felt that strange tingle returning to her veins, creeping from her wrists up her spine.

               Lord Poseidon entered the room, and the fifty sisters immediately dropped to a quick curtsy. As the eldest, Ianeira stood at the head of the group, ready to engage their master.

               He said nothing, as he was typically wont to do, for a moment, taking in the room. “We will be receiving Lady Hera here tomorrow afternoon.”

               Several of the sisters tilted their heads or tapped their chins in reaction to the news. Lady Hera didn’t visit that often, but she was one of the few Olympians to make it a point to see her brother from time to time. Unfortunately, Lord Poseidon and Lady Hera didn’t often see eye-to-eye, and her visits often ended with him annoyed and her in a rage.

               “I will be meeting with her in my quarters. There is no need to prepare the guest suite,” he finished.

               That part wasn’t unusual. Poseidon did his best to keep his interactions with his family private affairs, usually entertaining them in his sitting room in his private quarters. The sisters exhaled silently in relief. Hera was always polite to them when she visited, but she had incredibly high standards of cleanliness, not unlike her brother. Preparing a suite for her was always nerve-wracking.

               “Of course, my lord,” Ianeira replied. “We will see to it that the palace is fit to receive her.”

               His instructions finished, Poseidon turned and left as abruptly as he had arrived. Dynamene stared after his vanishing figure, her hand lingering on the bracelet.

               “We have our instructions,” Ianeira said, turning to the others. “We’ll start the preparations after lunch.”

               With that, most of the sisters returned to their leisurely activities, some breaking off to have lunch early. Callianassa took her lyre up once more, and Dynamene returned to her perch on the couch. But her mind was now racing with the news of Hera’s visit. Hera usually came to Poseidon’s palace with one goal in mind…

               Convincing him to marry.

               It was just in her nature. As the goddess of matrimony, she worked hard to pair up her relatives and see them happily settled. A loner like Poseidon who refused to take a partner irked her to no end. Dynamene wasn’t entirely sure what her end goal was in seeing Poseidon married, but that mystery was best left to the Olympians who knew her well. Perhaps she considered Poseidon’s refusal to marry a personal affront to her own nature as the goddess of marriage. No matter her persistence, however, Poseidon would never bend. That was why their visits always ended in both parties with a sour mood. Dynamene often wondered why he bothered to entertain her coming in the first place, but then again, Poseidon was a pragmatist in these matters. He probably allowed her to make her arguments simply to keep the peace between him and her – and by extension, her husband Zeus.

               Not that Hera herself was someone to trifle with on any accounts. One disastrous visit 700 years ago had ended with Hera punching a column that upheld Poseidon’s personal balcony, completely levelling it in the process. It had taken forty skilled workmen seven days, working day and night, to restore it to its prior condition. Hera was the most feared goddess of the Greek pantheon, sheerly on account of her wrath. Not to say that Poseidon could not take her in a fight; he mostly certainly could, and he would win. But Hera’s destructive fury wouldn’t leave him unscathed, if things came to blows.

               Dynamene swallowed and forced herself to come back to her senses. There was no point in letting her fears run away from her. Since that incident so long ago, Hera had been largely successful in reining in her violence around her brother and his palace. Nowadays, when she visited, only harsh words were exchanged.

               And yet, Dynamene found herself dreading Hera’s arrival. Was it because of Hera herself?

               Or was it because of the topic that would no doubt be broached yet again?

               “Alright, sisters,” Ianeira called, clapping her hands. “Lunch is ready for all. We’ll begin work after.”

               With a sigh, Dynamene pulled herself from the couch. There was no use worrying now.

               Several hours later, with the great entrance hall freshly scrubbed and polished, and the special velvet carpets laid out, the Nereids’ work was done for the day. Dynamene slipped out onto one of the smaller balconies overlooking the ocean for a breath of fresh air. She inhaled the scent of the seawater with relish; as a sea nymph, it would always be her favorite scent. The door softly opened and closed behind her, and Actaea stepped forward in the moonlight to join her.

               “Finally, everything pristine and in its place,” her older sister sighed, gazing out at the ocean. “I’m sorry the latter half of your birthday was so dull.”

               “No, it’s fine,” Dynamene smiled. “I got to spend plenty of time with all of you, and several nice presents to boot. I’d say it was a pretty fine birthday.”

               “Always the optimist,” Actaea tousled her hair fondly. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. You won’t have another for the next century!” She sighed, voice full of reminiscence. “I cannot believe you are a woman now. It seems not long ago, when we first arrived here, you were hiding behind our skirts and shrinking behind furniture. And now look at you; a smart, well-read, considerate young lady.”

               “I still don’t feel that… grown up,” Dynamene confessed, looking down at her hands. “I still look so childish. And I’m still so clumsy.”

               “Coming-of-age is just the line drawn by the world, the official cut-off point between child and adult. The task of growing up is a giant blur; not one you can compartmentalize. Give it time, and you’ll feel grown-up soon enough.” Actaea smiled kindly.

               Dynamene took a deep breath, deciding to share what was weighing on her mind. “Truth be told, I am… worried about Hera’s visit tomorrow.”

               “Oh, everyone is worried about that,” Actaea laughed. “But she’s been well-behaved these past several centuries, no? I don’t think we have much to fret about.”

               “Well, yes, but… It’s not just Hera’s temper. I mean… She always comes to talk to Lord Poseidon about one thing,” Dynamene continued lowly, twisting her hands.

               Actaea looked mystified for a moment, then her eyes widened lightly as it dawned on her what Dynamene was referring to.

               “If Poseidon marries, we’ll have a lady-of-the-house,” Dynamene ventured. “And I suppose I’m just worried about what that would mean for us.” She turned her bracelet over on her wrist. Its iridescent surface caught the moonlight in haunting cool hues.

               Actaea was quiet for several moments. “Dynamene, you know as well as I do that Poseidon will never take a bride,” she said softly.

               Dynamene looked up at her older sister’s face. There was something she couldn’t place in her sister’s eyes. She slowly turned her face back to the ocean, gripping the balustrade tightly. “You’re right,” she replied. “It’s not something we should worry about.” A tight pricking sensation came to her chest.

               Actaea squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. “We should head to bed now, little sister. We’ll want our energy for whatever Hera brings our way tomorrow.” She grinned dryly before going back inside, leaving Dynamene alone again with her thoughts.

               Dynamene gave the dark ocean with its frothy foam one last longing glance. Her thoughts had been in a dizzy whirlwind all day long, it seemed. She desperately wished that she could go down for a swim, just to clear her head…

               The more she considered it, the better it sounded. The idea was tantalizingly delicious in the face of the strange weight in her heart. With quick, quiet footsteps, she rushed through the dark palace and down those 150 steps to the shore. She took a moment to take in the vast ocean again, with its white foam crests and the soothing rush of its waves. Stripping off her peplos and chiton, she folded them and placed them atop a nearby rock, making sure the pins gifted to her by Actaea were wrapped well within. Dynamene looked down at her wrist, momentarily debating taking off the bracelet as well, but couldn’t bring herself to remove it. Surely, as mother-of-pearl, it would be just fine in the seawater, wouldn’t it?

               With eager steps, she waded into the cold ocean water, allowing the spray of the waves to pelt her skin in its soothing rhythm. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to concentrate. Her older sisters were much more skilled in joining themselves to the water, but she still needed more time to focus her energy. Before long, her body began to slip away in the ocean, melting into foam. She gave a sigh of contentment. Although they might spend the majority of their lives in humanoid form on land, the Nereids were really most at home in the sea, their source of life and spirit. The dark, powerful waters cradled her fluid form, not unlike the weight of that presence she cherished back on land.

             With her body now joined to the water, her essence little more than a current, she slipped deep into the darkness and allowed her thoughts to melt away.

---

Author’s notes: A new sister added to the bunch. The Nereids asides from Dynamene are:

Actaea – caring sister

Callianassa – musically inclined sister

Eione – tomboy sister

Thoe – rude sister

Ianeira – oldest sister

I did my best to pick names for them that are each unique, to help differentiate them. These are all names of Nereids mentioned in real Greek mythology, but the resemblance largely stops there.

Now we’re starting to bite into the meat of the story; the main conflict. You know, Poseidon is a really static character to have as a love interest, but I have plans to flesh him out a little bit more in the next parts, so it doesn’t seem like Dynamene’s in love with a freaking statue (though with the way he acts most of the time, she might as well be)

What is the time period this fic takes place in, you ask? no one asked that

Well, it’s kind of an anachronism-stew situation. If we try to put a time on when Poseidon rose to power as king of the oceans, we might be able to slap the date on that as 1000 BC, roughly around when the Greek Pantheon as we know them started to be widely worshipped. Assuming that the Nereids came to serve Poseidon around the same time period, and that it’s been 1000 years since, that puts us around the year 0. However, Erik Satie composed the Gymnopedies in the late 1800s. So who knows? I’ve given up on making it make sense

[rkkyul]

190801 MGA SEASON 5 + EPISODE FIVE +  #5050 FEATURING : TEAM KT  ⟨ ━━ ❀ ° PART ONE: PERFORMANCE, LION HEART + I GOT A BOY ( LINES / SONG ) ⟩

it hits her all at once, the overwhelming emotions trapping her before swallowing her whole. she’s going through the motions - watching heejin and minho rise from their seat beside her as their names are called, numbly following them up onstage. kyulkyung isn’t sure she’s breathing air, mouth opening in surprise and eyes widening as her teammates lead the way. perhaps her reaction is a bit dramatic, but oh is it genuine. 

the whole experience was so surreal - to even be considered for the top performance of the week when she had failed to do so the entire show. kyulkyung was tired of being average, of resting on that safe middle ground between being the best and the worst. average. want an ugly word. their names weren’t called when the top performance was announced, but she was too high in the clouds to notice - hand clasped tightly around heejin’s as they awaited the announcement. was it disappointing? maybe a little, but to finally be at the point was certainly an ego boost. 

semi finalist. 

the words were strange to her. the woman who had allowed herself to persuaded into something she once found silly was now officially a semi finalist for the mga’s fifth season. oh, she couldn’t wait to tell her mom. 

her heart was still racing when the trio once again returned to their seats, following throughout the hug minho gave them - adrenaline coursing through every part of her being as the show went on without her. kyulkyung listened, watched more talented performers leave them and she wondered how she had even managed to make it this far. she didn’t doubt her worth or talent, just wondered what happened to suddenly have luck on her side. 

after the disaster that was 2018, the woman entertained the idea of this just being some cruel joke. zhou jieqiong? making it this far on her own? joonho would’ve laughed in her face. but she tried to not think about that.

she’s slapped back into reality when the contestants suddenly awake with life, their bodies moving in shock and excitement rising in hushed tones. moving her eyes from where they stayed fixated on her shoes, they follow the movements of the new appearances on stage

from sphere entertainment, please welcome CONVEX’s very own JINKI and JINWOOK, as well as our star trainee and winner of the last season of the MGAs, GO HOJUNG!

her ears hang tightly onto the world CONVEX, hoping a familiar someone’s name will follow but much to her disappointment, she’s left with unfamiliar faces and dismay. but she perks up, attentive in her seat as she patiently awaits the coaches from TRC to be announced. JINSOUL - kyulkyung can’t help the tiny noise that passes her lips, excitement enveloping her entire form when she lays eyes on her best friend. “hey, that’s my best friend!” she attempts to whisper to minho and heejin - practically shaking in her seat and definitely way too excited.

i can’t believe she didn’t tell me, despite her thoughts, kyulkyung grins anyway. her anticipation only grows as time passes. please let me get onto trc’s team. please. please. please.

and no, not just because that would mean jinsoul gets to coach her.

she’s just a tiny bit disappointment when the TRC group announcement rolls around and her name is passed up. just the tiniest bit. however, this is short lived when her name is revealed under KT. the company is a bit surprising, solely for the fact that she wouldn’t have chosen it for herself. out of everything, she was expecting nova the most. but getting picked to perform in a group for a company run by katie lee, that’s pretty amazing. 

                                                                     ❀

"semi finalist? oh, god i can’t believe.” yea, she can’t either.

kyulkyung laughs at her mother’s enthusiasm over the phone - feeling her cheeks grow hot at the woman’s constant, unrelenting praises. it’s nice to hear the complements and she allows her ego to inflate with each syllable. her mother always complemented her, but it was nice to hear something the woman herself could also feel proud of.

the mgas were different than anything else she had done in life. there was no reliance on anything other than what her talent alone had to offer. there was no behind-the-scenes magic that needed to worked, no amount of bills slipped under the table and secrets to be kept. the fact made her prideful if anything.

after last year, it seemed as if everything wrong she had done had constantly stayed on her back - a quiet monster, the chill that ran down her spine and kept her awake at night. it was hard to put it past her, but somehow she had managed to tuck it away far enough, bury it so deep within that it never even became an afterthought. the process took time and trust, especially with her mother who felt almost as guilty as her.

“you know after last year, i worried about you. i felt like i set a back example.” kyulkyung clenched the phone pressed against her ear tightly in her grasp, fighting back whatever emotions spewed up. biting down on her lip, the woman pushed through whatever words left her mother’s mouth through the phone. perhaps the worst part about the whole situation was that her mother felt responsible, took on her daughter’s worries and that was not okay. 

the woman’s voice is strained through the phone and she fears she’s holding back tears. “but i’m proud of you, for doing something and making it this far. i really hope you make it this week, jie.” me too, mom. she answers, burring herself further beneath the sheets - feeling the dull ache of attachment to the woman who can only speak to her through a phone or stupid screen.

“i wasn’t going to tell you this in case it jinxed you this thursday but chun and i are coming in next week - just in time for the finals. he has a business down there, but i figured i’d tag along just to see my girl.” and lying in her bed that night, phone tucked between her ear and pillow, making it to the finals next week meant so much more to her.

                                                                     ❀

once again,the week goes by rather smoothly with her teammates. except for the fact that they are busy, busy, busy.

the coaches and teammates are alike in the ways that they are helpful to a girl with minimal singing experience. and lucky for kyulkyung, this week she’s in a room full of incredible talents. of course yukhei and her scream over each other their first meeting, having only spoke to the boy over suwoong’s phone a few episodes ago and having got along pretty well. he’s just as fun as the woman expected and paired with talent to combat his upbeat nature. 

the girl known for her singing and musical talents, yuri is just as amazing to work with as she expected. their team is full of power vocals, yuri and sia bringing enough to the table and offering whatever tips they had to ever so curious kyulkyung. “c’mon please... think of me please?” she begs yuri to sing such an iconic song - phantom of the opera being a personal favorite of the woman. she could never get enough of the tragic story that was erik and christine. ugh, it made her cry every time.

“i’d say i’d help sing it, but that’s a disgrace to phantom of the opera. it’s a sin.” kyulkyung pulls a hand to her chest, bowing her head in sadness before shaking her head at the thought. yuri is the only one who could do it justice while she couldn’t bare the embarrassment for herself.

kyulkyung’s delighted witrh yuri’s compliance, elated to hear one of the songs from her favorite musical from personally one of her favorites on the show. before being teamed up together, the woman had always admired her from afar - completely losing herself in her voice and loving every moment of it. just as expected, yuri’s voice complements the song nicely and she can’t help the long drawl she lets out, pressing a hand against her heart and swaying ever so dramatically to the tone of the other’s voice. 

all shenanigans aside, the woman found herself in a situation that left her bewildered. she didn’t mind to help usually, but sia’s call for help left her a bit nervous. kyulkyung didn’t have experience with cutting or mixing music, but the other girl needed help and who was she to refuse? “i don’t care to, but you’ll have to lead the way some.” the woman admitted with a tiny smile, eager to help out in any way that she can. 

the process wasn’t too difficult, but it was a process. creating the choreography with nakyung for the dance break wasn’t nearly as hard as creating the mix, but eventually they got it done ( and kyulkyung was there to offer any extra help whenever someone needed it ). the fact that they had managed to pull it off was extremely exciting for the woman, even going as far as to do a mini celebration dance whenever they finished it. yes, she was embarrassed with herself afterwards but damn was she proud. 

turns out she’ll be heading back to hook & crook after the show with a little bit more than dance and performance tips.

                                                                       ❀

thursday approaches quickly and this time, kyulkyung’s a bit nervous when she climbs onstage. the semi finals held a lot of more meaning than the other performances and after being in the top 3 last week, she’s sure there’s an expectancy for both her and her team. in fact, the entirety of team kt had at least one episode’s worth of top 3 experience under their belt and it makes her wonder if they’ll be watched that much closer. 

her hair, now faded a bit after a few washes, hangs loosely atop her head - the white nature of her top and shorts a contrast to the red bandanna that’s tied around her thigh. she’s standing on stage with her team, head held high and signature smile wide despite the nerves that light up when the judges and eyes of their first live audience lays upon them. “hello! we are FOH!CUS.” the team greets before being met with the thunderous clap of applause.

the noise is enough to brighten her smile and settle whatever negative emotions she felt. kyulkyung did not get stage fright, well not anymore at least. the eyes of an audience was not foreign to her especially after her time with knb. it was all just noise to her, eager eyes there to watch them perform and their entertainment for the night. they’d give them a show worth while, especially with all the pretty faces and power vocals up there. 

in the most arrogant way possible, kyulkyung thought team FOH!CUS was hard to forget. 

“hello! constant #5050, zhou jieqiong here again!” she will never forget that tiny bit of chinese at the beginning of her introduction - not until the very end ( it’s kind of a habit at this point, honestly ).

as the group arranges themselves for the beginning of the performace, yuri finds herself in the center - surrounded by her teammates and introducing the audience to chi chi’s lion heart. the vocals are soft as are their movements, the singer’s tone and charisma alone enough to draw attention and set the mood of their performance. kyulkyung’s sure the audience’s heart fluttered just a little as did hers when she heard yuri sing the song for the first time.

ah 넌 달라진 게 없어 여전해 난 애가 타고 또 타 사냥감 찾아 한눈파는 너

kyulkyung’s voice follow’s the other girl’s smoothly, a nice transition into her sweet tone and flowing nicely with the music. luckily for her, the movements during this part are minimal for her at least - allowing her voice to carry unfaltering and comfortably. singing live was something she worried a lot about, but with tips and a lot of help, her confidence grew little by little. her smile is delicate upon her lips, her legs carrying her into the next series of moments as they draw into the chorus.

chi chi’s choreography isn’t hard to follow, but it’s nice and fun to watch. the song and melody allows for an easy smile from kyulkyung, putting on an image of a girl in love and innocence. their movements and choreography are soft and flows nicely against the music, but that makes it so much better when the shock of their transition settles in.

lion heart suddenly comes to a halt and everyone is moving into new position - a new light overwhelming them as the beat changes entirely. the mix that kyulkyung and sia put together takes over the stage, the group moving in sync with one another in a way contrasting themselves just a few moments prior.

nakyung and kyulkyung were responsible for creating the choreography, transitioning them into the beginning of i got a boy and creating a whole new mood for their stage. the woman’s presence changes drastically, a more coy, cheerful look overtaking her frame as the upbeat tone of the music sounds. personally, she prefers songs like this to lion heart - feeling more like herself with peppy beats and modern lyrics. hahaha! eh let me introduce myself - kyulkyung points to yukhei as speaks,  here comes trouble, whoo! there’s a playful grin on her lips as she moves - raising a hand to motion a ‘come here’ movement with her fingers, 따라해.

어떨 땐 오빠처럼 듬직하지만 애교를 부릴 땐 넘 예뻐 죽겠어

preparing for their performance was once again fun for the woman - this being what she looked forward to most when she joined the competition. and honestly speaking, kyulkyung learned a lot more than she thought she would. working with people was one thing especially on a show like the mgas, the fierce nature of the competition threatening to bring out the worst in people but so far, that hadn’t been the case ( at least for her ).

the way they move alongside one another on stage is exciting - no doubt a visual and talent overload for their audience and she wonders if this what being an idol felt like. and if that’s case, it makes her want that contract even more.

making it this far was exciting, but left her greedy more than ever. there was a lot pending on today’s performance, on her advancement into the competition that she undermined completely. coming in with no expectations and following through with nothing but the highest, that was surely a shock. but not only did she want a contract presented to her in the end, kyulkyung would also love for her mother to at least see her perform once. 

귀 기울여 주는 너 너

her mother’s words drive her confidence, fuel the endless stream of energy that courses through her as they near the end of their performance. kyulkyung didn’t have a lot of lines, but she didn’t asked for many - leaving the singing up to the professionals and taking as many notes as she could. the coaches and her teammates helped equally and she matched their drive with one of her own, practicing up until the very last moment because she didn’t need the embarrassment up on stage.

she’s not as perfect as she’d like to be, but she knew what she had to work with and milked it for its worth. what she lacked in singing she made up with her dancing and countless expressions, enjoying every minute she was up on that stage. 

as the performance neared its end, kyulkyung couldn’t help the bottomless pit of worry that began to sizzle deep within her stomach. no matter how good they did or how much the crowd loved their performance, one of her teammates would be going home. 

it hurt to think about, but she supposed that’s just the nature of a competition and she’ll do anything in her power to make sure that person isn’t her.

[timeisacephalopod]

4, 6, 9, 10, 12: Rhodey and Bucky, 15, 16, 21, 23, 27, 29, 30, 32, 35, 37, 43, 46, 50, 54: Tony

You know that meme where the white woman is looking at the math overlaying the picture in confusion? That was me when I got this ask because instead of reading the fucking questions on the ask meme I put up I decided ‘Rhodey and Bucky’ were some other thing? Long story short I’m a moron lmao.

4- Favorite actress

Tbh I don’t pay much attention to the actresses and thus I almost missed out of saying Tessa Thompson like some kind of savage. I appreciate how hard she worked to try and make Valkyrie bisexual and also her character was basically the only thing I liked about Thor: Ragnarok (controversial opinion, I know).

6- Favorite quote

“Trust my rage” from Thor The Dark World. This line is so visceral and poetic. Like shit son, the rest of the movie was eh, but that line? Fucking amazing, and Hiddleston’s delivery of it is top tier bois.

9- BROTP

Pepper and Tony. I’ve never seen the romance between them, and in my opinion it was there because it seems movies are fucking incapable of not having a romance subplot (no hate to pepperony shippers either, everyone likes what they like and the entire point of fic is to circumvent canon anyways). But as a friendship pairing these two are excellent- they’re a great team, they understand each other on a fundamental level, and their friendship dynamic is interesting. Also, to me, I think their relationship is more compelling without the romance.

10- How did I discovered Marvel?

I’ve mentioned this in other asks but I had a friend make me watch Avengers and I didn’t like it lmao. I only gave it another show two years later and started from the beginning with CA:TFA and then I got into it. I’m not sure what changed or why I took to it later, especially when I found the later half of TFA to be kind of boring (I love Skinny!Steve ok) but it happened and when WS came out I saw it in theaters. From then I was hooked.

12- Make me choose between two characters: Rhodey and Bucky

Damn, I’d rather not have to choose, you suck! But, for the sake of the ask, Rhodey. As a character he’s better constructed, has his own story and motivation outside Tony, he’s funny, and while he has his moments (that I mostly blame on shit writing) he’s a great friend. I honestly wish that we could get a whole movie about him doing things but I did hear some rumors not long ago about Marvel looking into making Iron Man 4 an Ironheart movie and the only thing that would make that better is if Rhodey were her mentor (I literally wrote a story about this once).

Anyways, although I write Bucky a lot more than I do Rhodey I do prefer his character in a more fundamental way simply because he’s more fleshed out. Plus I love male friendships that are actually good and James Rhodey Rhodes is the God Tier of friends. The man spent 3 fucking months combing the desert for his disaster friend and that’s some damn dedication. Especially when you know people must have gotten real damn annoyed with him using resources and shit. But that action alone tells you everything you need to know about him and none of it is bad. I love Rhodey, seriously.

15- Top 5 ships

Tony/T’Challa

Tony/ Bucky

Tony/ Stephen

Tony/Rhodey

And, because I feel compelled to put a ship that doesn’t have Tony in it Steve/Howard

Honorable Mentions: Tony/ Peter Q

16- Top 5 villains

THANOS

Erik Killmonger

Loki

Justin Hammer (he’s just so absurd)

Ghost (from Ant Man and The Wasp)

Seriously, this was hard because Marvel’s villains are shit. They’re all the same one dimensional ‘they’re evil’ type characters.

21- Dream crossover

Basically any urban fantasy world I loved in my teens and the MCU. I’ve written a Vampire Academy/ MCU crossover but I’d love to write a House of Night crossover (I hate the characters in HoN, but love the world ok don’t judge), and a Shadowhunters crossover. I’ve seen some cool stuff with Teen Wolf being crossed over too though.

23- Most layered character

Tony fucking easily. His arcs are always the most compelling (or close to it), he’s had the most character development, and his trauma plays out so beautifully on screen. I’d argue Steve is a close second post WS, but the MCU will never let his character play out the development he’s gotten because they’ll never let Steve be less than perfect, which pisses me off. Otherwise his transition from a solider who wants to do right by his country to a cynical man who doesn’t know how to process the new world he’s been tossed into or how to handle a situation in which the morally correct solution isn’t abundantly obvious would be a compelling watch. But its been consistently proven that Steve will never get a real realization of his new characterization because ~~perfection~~.

27- Favorite moment

Shiiiit. That’s a lot of material and because I have a bad memory I’m going to go with ‘don’t call us plucky, we don’t know what it means’ because that was hilarious lmao.

29- Saddest moment

Shit boi, probs a toss up between Peter P’s death and Bucky’s. Peter’s is obvious but Bucky fucking dusting in front of the dude who spent so long trying to find him again in an effort to feel, even if its just for a moment, like he’s home again? Sad af. I felt awful for Steve there.

30- Most beautiful scene

Pretty much all of Black Panther is a visual treat, but I’m especially fond of T’Challa in the dream world with his father. That scene was so beautiful, and all the colors? Amazing. Only Guardians of the Galaxy even compares visually and even then Wakanda’s beauty has something else to offer that space doesn’t.

32- Actor/Actress I’d like to be cast by Marvel

As mentioned above I pay literally zero attention to actors- its a personal choice not to spend time being a voyeur into other people’s lives and treat them like commodities to consume because I loath celebrity culture (and this isn’t a slam to anyone who enjoys it, its more a slam to people who over engage in it- ie people who care enough to send death threats or paps basically). Anyways that’s an opinion you didn’t ask for, but because of that personal opinion I have no real cast choice lmao.

35- Most boring plotline?

I love Thor but all his movies. The first movie had good personal growth but eh. The second was an ok movie but forgettable (aside from my fav line from Loki in it), and unpopular opinion I hated Thor Ragarok. I mean it was funny. That’s all the good I have to say about it really. Though I have no idea why every comedy writers room is not leaping at a chance to get Taikia on their staff because the man is a comedic genius and that’s honestly being impolite to his comedy skill. Still, as much as I like Thor I didn’t really love any of his movies and all his villains were so fucking boring, even Loki wasn’t that interesting till Avengers. Poor Thor, MCU did him dirty :(

37- Most well done character death

Peter P. I give this to him over Bucky because apparently most of that scene was improv? I cried over my spider son ok. There’s someone who was in that theater with me who heard me sob out ‘my spider son’ and went home to tell people about it. That shit was heartbreaking. Second runner up goes to T’Challa but I didn’t think it was well done, I just thought it was sad as shit for Okoye and I love her so it was upsetting to see her lose her king :(

43- Characters I wish they’ve met

I don’t understand the question :( I think it’s supposed to be ‘characters you wish would met’ but all my wishes were granted in IW. Tony and Stephen met and so did Tony and Quill. I shipped Tony with both characters before they’d interacted on screen so it was nice to see :) Rhodey and Quill would be a fucking hoot together though, throw in Okoye and Valkyrie and you’ve got a bunch of drunk overpowered people telling war stories or, in Quill’s case, stories about that time he stole some shit.

46- What characters outside of the Mcu I’d like to see in a Marvel movie?

Ironheart, but I heard rumors they might do a movie with her. I think it’d be fun to have Riri in screen, especially since Peter is around her age. I’d also love to see a Young Avengers movie or a Kamala Khan/ Ms. Marvel movie though apparently there’s rumors of that too.

50- Characters that deserved better

Tony, Bucky, and Steve but all for different reasons. Steve deserves his fall from grace and not because I think he should suffer, but because keeping him on his pedestal means he’ll never be able to fully process his trauma and move on. Allow him to fall, allow him to know he isn’t perfect, then allow him to know that that’s ok, he doesn’t need to be, he just needs to do the best he can and then allow him a proper chance to move on.

Bucky because he deserves to be a character outside of Steve and, to a much smaller extent, Tony. Let the man have a movie about self actualization after trauma, let him figure out he isn’t Steve Roger’s best friend anymore (and that Steve isn’t really Steve anymore) and that that’s ok, they can both accept themselves as they exist now and still be friends. Let him develop hobbies outside of Steve, have him bond with Rhodey, he needs a good friend. Shit, let him bond with Sam too. Give me a buddy movie where Sam lowkey therapies Bucky into being a fuckin person again and Bucky finds some way to repay him. He can go beat up Scott for that time he kicked Sam’s ass lol.

And Tony because the MCU makes fuckin everything his fault, even stuff that only somewhat involves him. They drive him to an absolute breaking point and then have the characters get pissed that he broke? The only one that I found acceptable was Pepper and that’s mostly because I understand why she’d be freaked out both by Tony’s obsessive behavior and by nearly being eaten by one of his suits. She had her own shit she was dealing with post Mandarin so her I understand. Everyone else though? Mostly makes no sense. Why are you surprised that a person snaps when they’re pushed to the limit? That’s how people work lmao but that’s also because the writers make an active, and completely senseless, choice to have the characters react like Tony’s mental health problems are a choice he made and now he has to suffer because he has PTSD or some shit. Idk, but AoU was the worst for it, and, to a lesser extend IM3 but I refuse to believe Rhodey would really tell Tony to get over himself after a panic attack- the man is emotionally intelligent ok, IM3 did Rhodey dirty.

54- 5 things I love most about: Tony

Tony’s sheer level of wonder at the world around him- the look on his face in IM2 when he rediscovers that element perfectly encapsulates how he feels about learning and moving forward. (Flipside is that sometimes he has trouble staying in the present and that causes problems).

The way he tries no matter how badly he fails. Bih, if my random tests on a rock nearly ended the world I’d out and out throw myself off a cliff. Instead he accepts his part in it (and more) and chooses to try and make the best of it. He’s done that from the moment he got snatched by terrorists in Afghanistan. That in itself is basically a superpower.

His humor. I, too, hide my emotional distress under jokes so I can relate to being a lil bit of an asshole to hide how I feel. (Flipside: people don’t think he takes stuff seriously- hence Steve in the Avengers).

His mental health problems. Ok this one is weird, but I can appreciate that someone drew up a hero that isn’t based in perfection, but who tries to get there anyways. But the dude has problems, a lot of problems, and they aren’t always pretty. But they are complicated and it is compelling to watch.

The way he builds relationships. Its unconventional- Rhodey is probably the only person he’s super close to that he met in a normal way. Happy and Pepper were both people that worked for him and instead of just being their boss he took the time to learn about them and get to know them on a personal level. Obviously he ended up engaged to Pepper, but a guy who knows what his driver’s favorite show is and why he likes it is a good dude. He’d be nice to wait staff in restaurants.

[ishipbullshitso]

Vast pt. 6 (final)

"I love you."

"Stop being a fucking sap. It's five in the morning." But it is not like T'Challa could help it really. He wanted to spoil the guy like he did have a second life, a better life than what was provided by a blade plunged into his heart. T'Challa readjusts his head on Erik's chest, exceeding comfort. He runs his hands over the multitude of raised skin in reverence, praising that they exist again.

It was worth it: almost dying and dealing with his beyond annoying self, just to hear his heart beat again, the flush of his cheeks from the Wakandan heat. N'Jadaka was beautiful under all of the years of pent up rage and sole focus to destroy the home that intentionally forgot about him. N'Jadaka still did not sleep, despite being somewhat human.

It was obviously true that Erik was not saved. He is not human and he has the exact same powers, additionally being able to change his form at will (just like water, as the fool said). T'Challa could want all that he wants that this is Erik with the ability to age and do the exact same things as he can, but it would be a broken dream. N'Jadaka can live just as much as he can, but he will not age, will not die. Again.

"Hey, what's up?" N'Jadaka nudges, gaining T'Challa's attention. He shakes his head, as if shaking off the thought.

"Nothing. I was thinking."

"Well stop thinking. Do something else." Erik suggests with a raised eyebrow.

"Like what?"

"Well I have a perfectly usable dick now-"

"Shut up." N'Jadaka laughs, stupidly wicked, mouth attached to T'Challa's forehead. T'Challa raises and sits up, considering, before crawling onto Erik's lap, seating himself like a throne.

"So your dick is perfectly usable?" T'Challa hums, pretending to be in thought. He checks his Kimoyo beads. "Well there is a good two hours before I have meeting with Council about the progress of the Outreach program." Completely unnecessary to detail, but it takes the entire sentence for Erik to start moving, pressing their lips together hurriedly, though they may have all of the time in the world. T'Challa let him take over, Erik flipping their bodies with little hesitancy, nearly ripping his shirt off in the process.

The King admires the skin, the bumps, fingers running in the divots in between. Erik cracks a smile as he reaches for T'Challa's shirt, pulling it over his head. He is fast to mouth at his collarbone, teeth dragging at the skin. T'Challa moans and tugs harshly at dreads.

"I think you have antagonized me long enough."

"Really," Erik starts, thrusting his hip into a grind, smirking, "I do not think I have antagonized you enough, King." T'Challa lifts his hips up to match the thrust, groan rumbling from the base of his throat.

"I really hate you sometimes."

"Yeah, we'll see about that in a few minutes." Erik tightens his hands, crescents implanting themselves in the soft skin. He takes his time, removing the bottom layers of T'Challa's clothing with his teeth, gold reflecting from the light from the morning. T'Challa watches, perched upon his elbows, as kisses trail up his legs into his thighs. Erik bites at the muscle of the thigh, a bit too hard, just to hear the noises emitting from the King's mouth. Finally, when he wraps his lips around T'Challa's cock, he gets a tortured gasp.

T'Challa rips at the sheets because the damned man is switching his form to take more in his mouth, the sensations from heat to freezing throwing T'Challa off completely.

"Fuck!" And he never curses, but he has never felt this in his life. T'Challa could come just from this if Erik does not stop switching up. "Please, N'Jadaka." He doesn't know what he is asking for other than Erik to stop. It is too much and not enough at the same time. Erik relents with a final pop, pleased.

"Alright, alright," he reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing at the container in the drawer. T'Challa looks at him, puzzled. "I may have gone through your entire room while you was asleep," Erik admits without shame, opening the container. It spreads around his fingers, and then he is pressing in. T'Challa jolts at the intrusion and Erik mouths at his neck to his chest, providing some sort of reaction before adding another. N'Jadaka swallows the gasp T'Challa was about to release, lazily licking into his mouth. Erik works him open like this, planting open mouthed kisses all over to provide some distraction because it is blatantly obvious that he has either little or no experience. Just as he is about to push his third, T'Challa stops him, desperate.

"No! I want you." Erik removes his fingers, slicking himself up with the excess. He lines himself up to T'Challa's hole, then stops.

"It'll hurt more," he warns, concerned. T'Challa rolls his eyes.

"I don't care," and then Erik is pushing himself in. T'Challa bites into his arm, eyes clenched shut. N'Jadaka removes the arm, offering the ball of his hand instead. T'Challa gives him a brief look before attaching his teeth to the bone, biting deeply, baiting the groan out of Erik at the pulsations of pain. But he wants it, wants to feel T'Challa all over and doesn't care how many marks is needed to accomplish it. He finally gets all of the way in, halting until T'Challa can adjust. It doesn't take long and, with the roll of his lover's body, he pulls back to push back home.

T'Challa moans, loud, clenching at the sheets below him. Erik focuses on making sure that they both can feel this, feel each other. He snaps his hips a particular way and has no doubt he has found T'Challa's prostate with the way the man nearly sobs, grinding back against the thrust. Erik searches for that reaction again and achieves it, saving the expressions that the King makes in the process like it was a treasure. T'Challa is a treasure.

The sun rises more, heating their skin further. Beads of sweat appear on T'Challa's skin and Erik chases it with his tongue, lapping at the salty liquid like it was the last ounce of water left. T'Challa's chokes on a moan, back arched, and he comes. The sight is just so goddamn beautiful, mouth open and eyes wide - just like when he stabbed him at Warrior Falls. This feels more like a victory than the tossing of a body over a cliff, than taking the throne. Taking apart T'Challa, breaking him down to the man he is underneath, is much more victory than anything Erik has ever done in his life. Or even in his undead life. His abdomen feels like twisting, balls shrinking, and he brings their mouths together again as he releases.

They breathe each other's air for a minute. Their eyes stay locked the entire time. T'Challa smiles and bites at his lip. A bit too harshly, earning a pained groan from Erik.

"God, you're a pain in the ass."

"I believe it is you that is a pain in the ass." T'Challa corrects with a wink, hand patting at his cheek. T'Challa lightly pushes on Erik's chest, rolling off the bed towards the shower. Erik eyes the change in his walk, proud, but then T'Challa is looking at him like he is saying are you coming or not, then enters the bathroom. He hears the water run.

Yeah, Erik thinks as he gets up, this is the best kind of victory.

-

It goes like this. Eventually T'Challa finds it in himself to tell Shuri everything. She actually hits him with multiple things that day for hiding such valuable information from him. Erik reveals himself to her and only her, just because she is cool with him. Shuri may not have completely forgiven the fact he tried to kill her not that long ago, but if she does not want him around, she has not made it too obvious.

To everyone else, N'Jadaka is dead. Gone. Forgotten. And maybe that is the way it should be. Or maybe it shouldn't.

T'Challa feels.. guilty. He knows that Erik is happy right there with him and that he is getting better, but the reminder is always there that this isn't what it was supposed to be. Erik, by technicalities, is dead. There is nothing that he can do to save the scarred man, inside and outside. Sometimes it keeps him up, knowing that T'Challa is the only thing keeping him alive. Him and his need to correct his father's wrongs, his ancestors wrongs.

It hits him about five months in that he can't do this forever. Erik will never age, so what will happen when T'Challa suddenly dies or survives so long that he dies of old age? Is he meant to walk Earth forever? No, T'Challa can't do that to him.

"May I ask a question?" Their recent session, although always beyond amazing, had only encouraged the nagging thought that T'Challa tries to lock away, ignore if at all possible. Erik turns to him.

"Lay it on me." T'Challa intertwines their fingers, avoiding eye contact.

"If you could do it yourself, would you stop doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being a spirit or whatever you are." Erik kisses at each finger and T'Challa hurts at how much he loves the man. More than he ever imagined he could or hoped for.

"Nah, I wouldn't leave you."

"I know that," T'Challa squeezes his hand, "but I am withholding you." Erik sits up on the bed using his free hand.

"Where did this come from? What's wrong?"

"I.. when you told me that I am the only thing keeping you alive - as alive as you can be - it made me realize that I was and am being selfish." Erik removes their fingers, face hardening.

"So what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying," T'Challa swallows, throat suddenly thick, "you don't want this, to live. One day, I'm going to die and I can't take you with me. I can't let you be stuck to Earth because I willed it. I can't stop everything forever." The King bows his head, chest hurting in the amount of emotional pain he feels, and can almost track the frustration emitting off of Erik.

"I fucking stay for you and now you want to leave?"

"No," T'Challa cries, reaching for him. Erik snaps away from the touch as if it burned him. "I want the chance to be with you for as long as I live, but I can't like this." Tears well in both of their eyes. They could run as much as they want to, but this is truth. This will not be forever, not their forever at least. Erik is the first to give in, wrapping his arms around T'Challa, who allows the tears to run freely down his face. They embrace the rest of the night. They do not talk, only coos of comfort until they both exhausted in the mental fight against the final principle.

They have to surrender the idea that N'Jadaka can be saved. The harsh truth is that he already lived his life and he died a long time ago on Panther rock with a blade lunged in his chest.

-

T'Challa activates the Kimoyo beads to open the door. He hasn't opened this room since Erik first learned how to teleport. Erik follows him, holding his hands behind his back. Holding the blade behind his back. They wordlessly enter the small room, a table in the middle. N'Jadaka's real body lays, cold and unmoving. The King tries furiously to keep his cool, attaining for any kind of control.

"You did not tell me I was this fucking sexy," Erik says, a smile on his face. It doesn't reach his eyes, but T'Challa appreciates the effort. He smiles briefly, casting his eyes back down on the body. The wound is just the same as when N'Jadaka removed the blade. It has not healed one bit since then, nothing has.

"Hey," Erik starts, placing the knife down on the table. He grabs at T'Challa's face with his hands. "I will never leave you, T'Challa. I made a promise to you and I intend to keep it. I will always be a part of you because you are everything to me."

Tears brink T'Challa's eyes and Erik kisses them away, sucking the salty water away, then kisses his lips. Now this kiss felt like goodbye. T'Challa tries to put all that he can into it, saying everything that he won't allow himself to say. They embrace each other tightly and in this instant, T'Challa considers not doing it or waiting for a later time. But he can't; if he does not do it now, he might never be able to.

"I am ready," T'Challa breathes out, unable to trust his voice to be strong. Erik lets go unwillingly.

"Do you want me to go away?"

"No, it would be easier if you are here," T'Challa insists. Erik nods his head once. He reaches for the blade and hands it to T'Challa. The cold vibranium cuts into his emotions and T'Challa feels dizzy. He grips it harder to fight the utmost need to never finish this.

"I love you, N'Jadaka." And N'Jadaka is crying, hands clenching at his sides. Why did it have to be this way? With blurred out eyes, T'Challa lines up the knife. He looks at the man that he loves one last time, who forces one last smile.

"I'll never leave you, T."

It breaks T'Challa. He sobs as he enters the blade back into N'Jadaka's body with the relaxing of his arms. He quickly lets go of the blade, moving back to Erik.

"I don't know if I am ready to be without you," he remembers telling Baba in the ancestral plane. Baba did not prepare him for the pain of him leaving or even the pain of watching the man that he loved leaving to. Erik puts his hand on his cheek and kisses his forehead.

"I love you, T'Challa."

T'Challa blinks away the water from his eyes, but when he opens, Erik is gone. Forever. Except this time it isn't some prank or some delusion he swears he is having.

Erik is gone.

T'Challa walks on shaky legs up to his body. He does not leave N'Jadaka until he nothing but numb from the amount of tears and heart ache that he has given himself.

-

In his suit, he carries the corpse. T'Challa does not look at the raised skin or the hair or anything else that he loves. His heart cannot take it.

He hears the large body of water. The sound of waves crashing against each other. T'Challa breathes deeply, holding the body tighter to his chest, as much as he can. As the sun begins to lower, he steps into the ocean up to his calves. The water splashes against his vibranium suit, but he does not feel it. All he feels is nothing. T'Challa finally looks to N'Jadaka's dead body, the blade still plunged into his nonbeating heart. The amount of love he feels has him wordless, unable to even say anything to the body.

But this isn't Erik. Erik is not a body, he was a soul. A broken, but beautiful soul. He was someone who sought to feel the love that he had lost in the years of his childhood. A soul that T'Challa loved to immensely that it broke him to the core.

T'Challa steps further into the water, so much until his grip was the only thing keeping the water from snatching N'Jadaka away. T'Challa freezes as all of the damage to his heart resurfaces suddenly. He considers going back to Wakanda and using the technology that they have to make sure Erik looks alive forever, but that is not what Erik would have wanted.

"Bury me in the ocean with ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage."

It felt like forever since he heard those words. Felt like forever since he heard Erik's voice. He has to do this.

"I love you, T'Challa."

T'Challa lets go. He breathes out as he watches N'Jadaka move by the waves and keeps watching until he was out of sight, sunken below the water. T'Challa walks slowly out of the water and sits at the beach. He deactivates the helmet and breathes in the air. A cold, almost chilling breeze hits him, causing him to shiver in the suit.

T'Challa smiles despite the pain. In some way he cannot explain, he feels the aura of the event had a different meaning. This was not a goodbye, just a promise to see N'Jadaka later. Another chilling breeze. T'Challa finds the breeze utterly familiar. He thinks to himself solemnly:

Yeah, I feel you Erik. You never left.

The King stands up and walks away from the beach into a new light. He doesn't need the hope that he will see N'Jadaka again.

He knows he will

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: Lavish Leafs make more dubious decisions

Maple Leafs GM Lou Lamoriello has made some questionable decision this offseason. (Nathan Denette/CP)

(Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.)

By virtue of having a fairly young roster and what was previously a rebuilding attitude, the league’s richest team entered the summer with a huge amount of cap space to spend.

They were apparently determined to spend a good chunk of it. It’s difficult to understand why.

Next season the Maple Leafs will pay several guys not to play for them: Bought-out Jared Cowen and Tim Gleason (a little more than $2 million), salary-retained Phil Kessel ($1.2 million), LTIR��d-but-effectively-retired Nathan Horton and Joffrey Lupul ($10.55 million that gets buried when the season starts), which they can do because they’re the Maple Leafs and they print money. Most of those obligations — all but Kessel and Horton, a combined $6.5 million — comes off the books for 2018-19 anyway.

Also expiring: the contracts for James van Riemsdyk (whom they would be wise to re-sign), Tyler Bozak, Leo Komarov, Eric Fehr (who will play in the AHL anyway), Dominic Moore and Ben Smith. They will also need to re-sign Willy Nylander, Martin Marincin, Connor Carrick, and a few other RFAs.

And they still haven’t signed Connor Brown for this coming season but it is widely accepted that a trade will take place later in the offseason before they do so (maybe for Tyler Bozak, but also maybe not).

Point is the Leafs now appear to be over the cap by a pretty significant margin, but for all intents and purposes that’s not actually the case. Nonetheless, their offseason expenditures kind of boggle the mind. Just because you have money to spend doesn’t mean you absolutely, positively have to spend it.

The $6.25 million AAV for three years to Patrick Marleau is defensible only insofar as the money doesn’t matter and you have to assume they’re going to find some way to cynically LTIR him, as they have plenty of other guys in the past. They don’t call it Robidas Island for no reason, and if they’re basically spending $18.75 million for one or maybe two seasons of 37-year-old Patrick Marleau I’m not sure I get it, but it’s not my money and the Leafs will make that back no problem regardless of the term of the investment.

Marleau is, of course, not worth $6.25 million any more. His power play production is declining and while he had plenty of goals at even strength last season (20 of ’em), it was because the Sharks shuffled him down the lineup for much of the season. He only played a little more than 17 minutes a night and if the Leafs try to bump that up again, I don’t care how good his linemates are, he’s gonna be in tough. We just don’t have the evidence that he can handle top competition anymore, and attaching him to, say, Auston Matthews’ wing will be an impediment.

We have plenty of evidence, however, that the Leafs — or more specifically, the Leafs’ coaches — don’t really care about this sort of thing. After all, there’s no other way to explain why Zach Hyman played almost 90 percent of his 5-on-5 minutes with Matthews last season despite a clear inability to finish. You shouldn’t play nearly 1,000 minutes at full strength with a 40-goal scorer and come away with only 28 points in 82 games.

How’s this for a stat? Hyman had five points in his last 31 games of the season. Playing with Matthews and Nylander. Over the same stretch, Nylander and Matthews had 26 each. That’s one of those things that seems like it would be almost impossible to do. It seems like it would be impossible for literally any NHLer to play 31 games with those two (especially when they’re scoring at a nearly 70-point pace) and come away with that few points.

Marleau, who even in decline still hit 46 points last season, will be an upgrade, but how much of one? It’s tough to say for sure but Matthews is likely to see his goal production drop at least somewhat because shooting 14-plus percent two seasons in a row isn’t easy and he already bombed in more than three shots a game, which is a hard number to improve upon.

So basically the Leafs are likely planning to slot a definitively middle-six forward onto their top line to move a definitively bottom-six forward off it. Which is an upgrade, but it’s not one you’d prefer to pay $6.25 million for in anything resembling an ideal scenario. Especially because they more recently gave that bottom-six forward $2.25 million of his own — not a big deal in and of itself — but for four years, which seems like it didn’t have to happen.

The problem for the Leafs isn’t necessarily next season, of course. They’ll be better than they were and their core is locked up for a while here. But when you have to re-sign Nylander next summer. And Matthews, Mitch Marner and Jake Gardiner the summer after that. What do you suppose those three cost combined? Plus whatever van Riemsdyk gets. Plus whatever a handful of other roster replacements cost.

The Leafs have just $45 million committed to 13 players after 2017-18. That’s 10 roster spots to fill and maybe like $38 million to spend, and a pretty good crop of prospects from which to draw. Not a bad position to be in. Assuming huge paydays for a few guys still gives you lots of money to play with.

These are upper-class problems, no doubt. When you have good players and plenty of success, you end up paying the price one way or the other. Maybe you hope the cap goes up a little more than it has in recent seasons. Or maybe you think the next two years, before Matthews starts pulling an AAV in the eight figures, is your time to really and truly go for it, then you worry about the rest later.

I think that’s probably a good strategy. Pay through the nose for whatever talent you can get your hands on for the short term, connive to get out of any overly onerous deals you may still have around when the tax man comes, and come out the other side with a top-heavy but strong roster that’s truly competitive in the Eastern Conference as the Penguins and Capitals age.

The near- and medium-term thought process behind devoting $8.5 million to Marleau and Hyman should be a little concerning — and unfortunately in lockstep with the brain functions behind Matt Martin’s dumb, bad contract. However, the Leafs’ finances are set up well enough that even a few perplexing contracts probably aren’t going to sink their long-term ability to compete.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Dennis Rasmussen is what’s now considered a notable signing even at this point in July. Hmm.

Arizona Coyotes: Rick Tocchet? Okay sure. I have no idea what to make of this team or its direction, so have fun out there.

Boston Bruins: Ah it turns out that Don Sweeney is really smart and good at his job. I was worried that someone in the Boston media would say that he wasn’t, but he is, so we’re all good.

Buffalo Sabres: Justin Bailey has been to five Sabres development camps. Four different coaches and three different GMs have been in charge during that time. And I gotta tell ya: This time it’s definitely different!

Calgary Flames: Flames fans are getting their hopes up about a 22-year-old college UFA signing who dominated a weak league. And that’s never worked out badly for anyone.

Carolina Hurricanes: It’s not about the defense or offense. It’s about getting a goalie who can make stops. Scott Darling will make more than Eddie Lack or Cam Ward. Probably a lot more. I think it’ll all be fine.

Chicago Blackhawks: Well, they better hope not.

Colorado Avalanche: Oh so there will be people coaching this team next season? Big change. Let’s see how it plays out.

Columbus Blue Jackets: This is actually very smart by Columbus. Few are talking about this.

Dallas Stars: Think we see Heiskanen in the NHL next season? I wouldn’t do it!

Detroit Red Wings: This Todd Nelson interview is great.

Edmonton Oilers: Yes, Leon Draisaitl had a lot of points last season. How many 5-on-5 goals do you think came with Connor McDavid on the ice? The correct answer is “all but three of them.” Hmm.

Florida Panthers: Locking up Mark Pysyk is one of the few unequivocally good things the Panthers did this summer. So that’s nice.

Los Angeles Kings: Here’s your Jonathan Quick replacement three years from now.

Minnesota Wild: Luke Kunin was a capital-P Player at Wisconsin. Can he jump right from college to the NHL? I dunno.

Montreal Canadiens: Are the Canadiens better now than they were last year? I don’t think so. So what’s the point of even trying to be?

Nashville Predators: I’m sure it’s extremely up to Dennis K. Morgan whether he’s still the anthem singer for Preds games.

New Jersey Devils: The question is: Does Cory Schneider need fixing or was last season just a one-off fluke made worse by the fact the team was horrendous? Tough to know the answer.

New York Islanders: Oh yeah, the Islanders are still in the market for Matt Duchene. I forgot about that. Fun.

New York Rangers: I mean maybe Boo Nieves is your guy on the fourth line but if he’s not, you can get fourth-liners anywhere.

Ottawa Senators: Thinking about the Erik Karlsson extension is fun because you start by asking how much bigger the AAV is than Connor McDavid’s. So the question is: Will Melnyk pay it?

Philadelphia Flyers: At this point the Flyers are basically like, “Can literally any U-23 defensemen make this roster? Please? We’re begging you. Someone do it.”

Pittsburgh Penguins: Kinda gotta give ’em a pass after two straight Stanley Cups and everything like that but there are a lot of difficult questions about this team for next season and not a lot of good answers.

San Jose Sharks: An “unlikely hero” showed up at Sharks development camp. Let me guess: Jeremy Corbyn.

St. Louis Blues: This is another team that needs young players to make an impact at the NHL level. Tough to know what we should make of the Blues for next season.

Tampa Bay Lightning: The Bolts don’t have a take on removing a Confederate monument from downtown Tampa. Seems like a weird thing to not care about.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Nice boy Timothy Liljegren might end up being one of the big steals of this draft. Teams really held that whole “getting mono” thing against him.

Vancouver Canucks: When was the last time the Canucks developed a top-end defenseman? Are we gonna count Chris Tanev or do we have to go back to Alex Edler?

Vegas Golden Knights: Teemu Pulkkinen has 13 goals and 22 points in 83 career games for three different teams. Is he even an NHLer?

Washington Capitals: Scroll down for an absolute scorcher of an Ovechkin take.

Winnipeg Jets: Haha the Jets might think they solved their goaltending problems. Adorable.

Gold Star Award

Someone sign Jagr please.

Minus of the Weekend

The expansion draft is what ruined free agency, not the borderline-horrible class of free agents.

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Year

User “yzerman” wants to invalidate everything I just wrote.

Aaron Ekblad For Mitch Marner

I’m not saying I don’t love it.

Signoff

Lord Palmerston!

—

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)