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#Emotional compensation required
fortjester · 4 months
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came to the sudden realisation that for all intents and purposes, dead cav club au was just me (obliviously) writing tlt Meenahbound
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gureumz · 1 year
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project aphrodite
rating: explicit
member: jungwon
premise: in a post-apocalyptic world, you and jungwon are excellent scientists and are at the relative top of the list of people who are ideal parents for the next generation of this dying world. it's now your job to repopulate this earth so you ask your co-worker to pretty please knock you up.
notes: sci-fi elements, dystopian au, scientist!reader, scientist!jungwon, fem-bodied reader, reader is referred to as a woman, dom!jungwon, breeding, impreg kink (like heavily), dirty talk, platonic (?) breeding, co-workers with benefits (?), idk this is kinda speculative fiction but also suspend your disbelief a bit lol
a/n: first of my 1k follower special! not quite sure what order i'm following here but i hope you stay for the ride nonetheless! enjoy!
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it's a strange feeling.
in your line of work, 'strange' is hardly any cause for concern. as a biologist with a concentration in genetics, you've seen all the ways nature does its job. from the familiar concepts almost all people learn about in science class like the basic 'mom-meets-dad-equals-baby' to the eerie methods organisms in the deep sea evolve to survive.
you've learned about it all, pored over each punnett square, stressed over the formulas. so, this shouldn't be anything to worry about.
and yet, you're still worried.
"i mean...what did we expect?" jay speaks up from beside you, eyeing the phone in his hand.
"we're presently some of the world's most brilliant minds so...," he adds, locking his phone before hunching over his desk. to your ears, it sounds as if he's trying to convince himself rather than you.
you scan over the document flashed on your own laptop screen. the harsh fluorescent lights overhead buzz nonstop, going on and on, a background hum all of you in the bunker have grown used to. at this moment, it lulls you into a daydream, vision swimming as you repeat the words in your head.
all government personnel with a status level 7 and higher are recommended to partake in project aphrodite. those falling under level 10 are strictly required. participation at this level is compulsory.
common citizens with a status of 9 to 10 are also required to participate. ample compensation for those successful will be provided.
"you're a level 8. it's not as if you have to," you mutter, fingers digging into your temples.
jay snickers. "how many level 10 government personnel are there in this ruined world? a few hundred or so doctors, another few hundred scientists, even fewer world leaders. that's not taking into account the difference in sex. my information's not up to date but last time i checked, there is a hell of a lot more men than there are women. it's a shitshow waiting to happen."
you turn to meet jay's eyes, not meaning to convey any certain emotion, but the way jay's expression falls leads you to believe that you look way more upset than you're letting on.
"oh shit, yeah," jay curses. "you're a level 10. i forgot."
you sigh, tilting your head back against the headrest of your seat.
"i'm sure they'll release more regulation soon," you begin. "this is just the initial memo. with our world hanging in the balance as it is, no one's gonna let this devolve into some patriarchal anarchy, i hope."
"yeah, of course," you hear jay agree. "most of the proponents of project aphrodite are women, anyway, so i'm sure they'll take extra measures to keep you safe."
you sit up straight, looking at jay once more. "this is the world, huh?"
you and jay pause before sharing a quick chuckle.
"'go make babies, or else,'" you say in a mock radio announcer voice. jay lets out a laugh, his voice echoing off the empty office walls.
the two of you fall into silence, as if retreating to your respective thoughts. all that's in your mind at this moment is your current project, the very thing the few people more powerful than you had assigned for you to do: leading your team in stopping that godforsaken virus ravaging the outside. you've been making steady progress so far, but with the weight of this new responsibility, you're not sure if you could keep the momentum up.
you realize with a passing thought that most of the scientists on your team are level 9s and 10s.
"well," you begin before you could stop yourself. you're suddenly overcome with a feeling of suffocation, the office space seemingly too small and continuously growing even smaller.
"i hope you find someone you'd like to procreate with," you say lightly, pushing yourself off your chair. you quickly gather your things: folders and binders and other loose papers in your arms.
you catch jay looking at you, a pensive look on his face. you stop as you're grabbing your reusable coffee jug.
"no," you deadpan. "not me."
jay's eyes widen, as if realizing he'd said something without really saying anything.
"i—no, wait—i mean...," jay stutters, ears quickly turning red.
you smile, patting jay's shoulder reassuringly. "in case you were thinking about it."
jay's mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water and you can't help but laugh.
"these are desperate times, but i'm hoping it's not too desperate," you add. without waiting for a response, you turn towards the door, already making your way to it.
"besides, dr. isa lee seems more your type," you say over your shoulder one last time before pushing the door open and stepping out into the hallway.
---
"hey."
you look up from the microscope, tearing your attention away from the specimen you were examining. your eyes readjust to their normal focal length as a tall figure enters the lab, perfectly crisp white coat hanging off his broad shoulders, thin-wired spectacles resting on the bridge of his tall, straight nose. your lips feel strangely parched as he makes direct eye contact with you and you're left with no choice but to moisten them with your tongue.
"oh hi, dr. yang."
the other scientist chuckles, setting down a stack of papers on a desk in the corner. "i've been here for three weeks. please, call me jungwon."
you swallow. "right. jungwon."
dr. jungwon yang was a new import from the seoul bunker, having come to your own area's bunker merely a few weeks prior. he was immediately put under your supervision, an addition to your already elite team of biologists, geneticists, and virologists. off the bat, you could tell he was a man of many talents, coming up with unconventional solutions and arriving at answers quicker than anyone else.
his presence in your lab made your heart swell. in pride, adoration, or desire, you're not quite sure.
"uh, yesterday's results are in that binder over there, in case you want to go over them," you begin. jungwon walks over to your side of the long table, peering over the slide loaded into the microscope.
ignoring the way he brushes ever so slightly against you, you continue. "the director's dropping by later this afternoon, but i wouldn't be too bothered with that. he's just looking for someone to blame for the slow progress at this point. if only they could get us those materials we asked for..."
"have you read the memo?" jungwon asks abruptly, straightening up. he towers over you, his eyes downcast as he stares at your face.
"of course, you've read the memo," jungwon corrects himself, chuckling. "what i meant was...what do you think of it?"
"it's a government-issued memo, it hardly matters what i think," you respond, focusing back on your work in front of you, although all you do is stare blankly at the moving microorganisms, mind unfocused with how much of jungwon's perfume you can smell.
"it's your reproductive health that's on the line. i'm pretty sure your opinion counts for something," jungwon says with a pinch in between his eyebrows.
oh, a feminist. that's even hotter.
"okay, yeah. i appreciate the new guidelines they put out," you admit, looking back up at jungwon. "though it's the bare minimum, i'm glad they're letting us keep the autonomy of choosing who to...boink."
jungwon laughs at that.
"and free fertility drugs for anyone who wants or needs it. oh, also, thank god they didn't have the brilliant idea of putting a time limit on it. having read some crazy speculative fiction myself, the things people are willing to do in fiction are crazy. who's to say they can't do the same in real life?" you continue.
you don't notice the way jungwon's smirk grows as he listens.
"kind of makes the whole thing unsexy, don't you think?" jungwon cuts in, raising an eyebrow. you blink, unsure of what he's talking about.
"i'm surprised they're not monitoring us with cameras and hooking us up to EKGs and shit," he adds.
"oh," you say with a soft giggle, finally catching on. "i'm sure some people are into being watched."
"are you?" jungwon asks.
"am i what?" you answer.
"into being watched."
a pause.
you shake your head. "how about you?"
"oh no," jungwon says. "i prefer to keep what's mine for my eyes only."
"hm. possessive. that's kind of sexy," you mumble under your breath, a sudden surge of confidence coursing through you.
jungwon just stares at you, but you can see his pupils dance in amusement, taking in your whole face and all your features. you might have imagined it but he seemed to have peeked down at your chest for a second.
"do you think it's attractive for someone to be into lego-building? or at least, used to be into it. i'd give an arm and a leg for a complete lego set nowadays," jungwon asks, leaning against the table, and only now do you notice the veins running over the back of his hands.
you think about whether his arms are just as veiny.
"do you think it's a good trait to pass on an offspring? lego-building, i mean," he presses on.
"uh, yeah. good problem-solving skills," you answer, humoring his question.
jungwon nods. "do you think leadership skills are important?"
you smile, leaning against the cabinet opposite jungwon. you nudge his foot lightly. "i lead a team of scientists myself. of course, i think leadership skills are important."
"you and i both," jungwon agrees.
jungwon shifts, placing his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.
"how about dimples? do you think dimples are cute?" jungwon asks once more, one corner of his mouth upturned. a deep crease on his cheek appears.
a dimple.
"very," you admit.
"i see."
there's a silence that stretches over the two of you, and the weight of uncertainty is daunting as you stare at a spot on jungwon's tie. finally, after a few seconds, you heave a sigh, unable to take the tension any longer.
"this is the weirdest way anyone has ever flirted with me," you declare, looking up at jungwon through your lashes. he's grinning and you nearly shiver at how utterly attractive you're finding him at this moment.
"but it's effective," jungwon says. that was a statement, not a question.
you tilt your head to the side. "how do you know?"
"because you would have blown me off two minutes ago if it wasn't," jungwon reasons, crossing his arms. by doing this, he just made himself appear even wider than he is.
"always so calculated," you say, impressed.
you stretch your neck, easing your head from side to side, watching as jungwon fixes his gaze on the taut tendons of your neck. "are you also this precise in bed, dr. yang?"
jungwon approaches, a large hand resting on your hip. "that's for you to find out."
your breath hitches as you feel his thumb rub through the fabric of your skirt.
"later?" he asks.
"my place or yours?" you reply, fingertips grazing the front of his polo. you can just about feel the slope and ridges of his toned muscles.
"i'd like to be a gentleman, so mine," jungwon offers. "i'll walk you back to your room after."
"i was kind of hoping i wouldn't need to walk back after," you say, a hint of teasing in your voice.
"is that a challenge?" jungwon says, his other hand pressing firmly on your lower back. he pulls you to him and your hands involuntarily reach out towards his shoulders to steady yourself.
a few seconds pass before any of you speak again.
"that's for you to find out," you say.
---
"kind of weird, isn't it?" jungwon asks, panting against your neck.
your back is pressed firmly against one wall of his sleeping quarters, a wide, loft-like room, similar to yours. a luxury offered only to level 10 government personnel, the room gives its occupants enough space and enough privacy.
and boy, did you need privacy.
"what's weird?" you say breathily, fingers threading through jungwon's hair as he kisses down the column of your neck. his fingers nimbly undo the buttons of your blouse and you whimper when you feel him lick at the valley between your breasts.
"coming up to coworkers or friends then asking them to reproduce with you," jungwon responds, tugging your blouse off of your shoulders.
(you both held enough respect for the institution that employed you both, so your work lab coats were neatly thrown over the back of jungwon's couch before anything got too frisky.)
"see, it's the way you say it that makes it weird," you giggle. you pull jungwon back up to your face, kissing him fervently, tongue licking into his mouth.
"oh yeah? how would you say it?" jungwon challenges as he pulls away slightly, his nose grazing your cheek. he licks a stripe on the underside of your jaw.
"please, jungwon," you whimper, playing up the whine in your voice just a little bit. "need you to knock me up. make me pregnant, please."
jungwon grunts in your ear, reaching behind you to rip the zipper of your skirt down. you let the fabric fall to the floor, stepping out of it quickly, revealing the matching red lace panties you had in tandem with your bra.
"yeah? want me to cum inside you so many times that there won't even be the tiniest chance that you're not pregnant?" jungwon says lowly, kneading one of your boobs in his hands.
you nod, hooking a leg around jungwon's hip, pushing your core right up against the bulge in his pants.
"yes," you breathe out, dragging your clothed pussy over his straining cock. "let's be good citizens and have a whole bunch of kids, yeah?"
jungwon chuckles, hands hurriedly working on his belt. you take this time to kiss up his neck, still rutting against him, desperate for any contact.
"come here," jungwon says through gritted teeth as his pants and boxers fall to the floor. he kicks them off unceremoniously, yanking you towards the couch. your eyes briefly catch the flash of white that were your lab coats.
the two of you fall onto the cushiony surface, with jungwon sitting up and you falling a little less gracefully on him. the two of you laugh as you adjust yourself, righting your posture so you could look at jungwon.
"take this off," jungwon commands, pulling at your panties. you swing off jungwon for a moment, pulling off the garment in record time. you reposition yourself over jungwon, his cock standing tall, hard, and painfully red.
"come on, show me how bad you want those kids," jungwon teases, tucking your hair behind your ear.
you roll your eyes. "you gotta help with the diapers."
a second later, you sink down on jungwon, moaning wantonly at how much he stretches you out, filling you up effortlessly. jungwon throws his head back, his bottom lip pinched between his teeth.
"i'll quit my fucking job at the lab if this is how good it feels to make babies with you," jungwon groans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.
you whimper at his words, rocking back and forth on his lap. you angle your hips a certain way, the tip of his cock kissing at just the perfect spot inside you. you shudder, repeating your movement.
"god, you feel amazing," jungwon praises. "so warm, so tight."
"yeah," you respond. you're gliding up and down his cock, swiveling your hips as fast as you can. you clench down around him, the thought of jungwon cumming inside you your only motivation.
"filling me up so good," you add, watching as jungwon screws his eyes shut, neck shiny with sweat.
you move forward, attaching your lips just below jungwon's ear. you suckle on the salty skin, running your tongue over the spot, savoring the way jungwon lets a moan rip out of him.
"gotta let the whole bunker know this one's mine," you whisper as you let up on jungwon's neck. a faint red spot is left in the wake of your lips on his skin.
in a blink of an eye, your whole world tumbles upside down, jungwon's hands forcing you down on the couch by your waist. in a daze, you realize that jungwon has you pinned under him, his eyes wild with a hungry look in them. he pushes your legs right up against your chest, lining himself up with your entrance.
"the moment you start showing, no one in this goddamn bunker will have a single doubt who gave you that baby," jungwon counters, thrusting into you. he gives you no time to adjust, picking up where you left off.
you cry out, trying to anchor yourself on anything your hands can find. eventually, you find purchase in jungwon's shoulders. he feels your nails digging in, and he mutters a soft 'fuck', speeding up his movements, the wet sounds of his skin slapping against yours so incredibly obscene in the confined space of his room.
"give it to me, please," you say, meeting jungwon's eyes as he continues to fuck into you. his forehead is creased, a look of concentration washing over his face.
"cum inside, fill me up as many times as you want, fuck it deep in me," you continue, cradling jungwon's face in your hands, the tender gesture a contrast to how rough he's bein.
"god," jungwon groans, voice breaking at the end as he speeds up, but then he halts abruptly, his mouth hanging open in a silent moan. you feel him twitch inside you and you gasp, clenching down as hard as you can.
"fuck, yes, milk it all out," jungwon says. he starts to thrust up into you again, watching as his cock is slowly coated with his cum spreading all over your cushy walls.
you whine, your fingers finding their way down to your cunt, your middle and ring finger pressing onto your clit. you rub at it ferociously, the idea of jungwon's sticky release inside of you turning you on impossibly.
"i'm getting hard again, jesus christ," jungwon complains but his movements don't cease. he's shaking from the overstimulation but he wraps his arms around you, pulling your limp form up against him.
"rub that pretty pussy for me, babe," jungwon requests, thrusting up into you shallowly.
"make yourself cum while i fill you up for a second time."
---
"so?"
you jump a little at the sudden intrusion. you look up at jungwon through both of your reflections in your bathroom mirror. three pregnancy tests lie in a neat line on the edge of the sink.
"i just started the timer, jungwon," you reply with a laugh. jungwon turns you around to face him, kissing you briefly.
"hm," you say, looking up at jungwon questioningly. "you never kiss me unless you want something."
"well," jungwon begins, hands slipping under your sweater. "we can always kill time while we wait for the results."
you shake your head, but you're already pressing yourself up against jungwon. "you're insatiable, dr. yang."
jungwon winks at you, undoing your bra under your shirt. "you know it."
"plus, you just look too good in this damn lab coat."
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hoshinasblade · 3 months
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May I request a short drabble (maybe?) on how hoshina would react if he were given flowers :3
this is so cute, thanks anon!
hey guys, im not sure if my blog is back to being ok now because support hasn't replied to me. hopefully you guys see this lol.
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: fluff, established relationship trigger warnings: none, both you and hoshina are very silly individuals who are dating so now the silliness is doubled.
send me more asks here! i have set up a masterlist here!
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hoshina soshiro, the best boyfriend in all of japan - his words, not yours - has his notifications on for all your instagram activities.
it all started when you were in the very early stages of dating, and he got upset because in his book, he is supposed to always be the first one to see, heart, and reply to your instagram stories. "that's bare minimum," he proclaimed.
you would be a bit weirded out if he wasn't so adorable.
you would post the dog you saw in your morning run and not more than a few seconds later he would respond with a keyboard smash, telling you that maybe the two of you should also get a dog. you would add a note in your profile and he would reply, making conversation.
"huh", soshiro hummed, his smartphone in his hand. the briefing in the operations room is still going on, yet his attention is on your latest instagram story. there are a few perks to being one of the best defense force officers, and one of them is no one could tell you off for not focusing on the matter at hand.
it's a picture of the front display of the flower shop somewhere in town. he's familiar with the place; he's gotten you something from there a year or two ago for your anniversary. has it been that long? he thought. soshiro knows he can be busy considering his line of work requires him to spend sometimes an entire day on the base. despite that, he makes sure to compensate for lost time and spend most weekends with you. your posting flowers can only mean one thing in his mind, and it is that you want him to get you a bouquet.
which he did.
it was a beautiful bouquet of pink carnations and even pinker gerberas wrapped in blush-colored paper. he annoyed the florist to no end, asking them for a flower arrangement that would signify eternal love.
the weird thing is you already have a bouquet of flowers nestling in your arms when he gets home. confusion overtook him.
"w-what's goin' on?" he asked when you gave him the bouquet. they're sunflowers, fresh and vivid in his eyes.
you were visibly puzzled too when he handed you the very pink collection of flowers he bought.
"i got them for you, what else?" you said in a matter-of-factly tone. "i mean, you'd been working hard these days, i wanted to show my appreciation," you said, fumbling with your thumbs. it didn't matter that you had known the guy biblically, it still flusters you when you do something romantic for him.
soshiro's face was no better. his lips parted, eyes wide, he suddenly turned around, his palms covering his cheeks. "d-don't look at me," he chuckled, suddenly shy.
you gave him a hug from the back, your arms not quite able to embrace him fully. "i got sunflowers because they remind me of you", you said.
soshiro froze, his heart swelling with emotion as he processed your words. sunflowers - the vibrant, sunny blooms that chase toward the light, mirroring his own feelings for you. he smiled, a gentle quirk from the corner of his lips. “have i told you that you’re the best girlfriend in the world?” he asked, bumping his forehead to yours until your noses touched then leaning in for a kiss.
“the best boyfriend to have ever lived just said so," you replied.
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clonerightsagenda · 6 months
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May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<
The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.
Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.
Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:
The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.
In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.
The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.
Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.
I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.
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becausegraf · 2 months
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So... Gulool Ja Ja and his troubled eldest
Some musings on why the Dawnservant, social skills-powerhouse, observant and transparent and trustworthy and capable and responsible Gulool Ja Ja
seems to have massively dropped the ball when it came to, you know...
preventing his own only biological child from turning towards murderous self-destructive supervillainy.
Gulool Ja Ja's biggest, most tragic failure in my understanding is that when it comes to Zoraal Ja specifically, he has a blind spot, and I think he knows it but he can't fix it.
I mean, what do you think is the ONE area that, unfortunately, he truly has nobody, not a single person in Eorzea, he can seek experienced, trustworthy counsel on?
It's being born a Blessed Sibling, living as a Blessed Sibling, Ruling as a Blessed Sibling, and raising a Son Of A Blessed Sibling who doesn't have two heads and will grow up facing extremely vicious treatment by some people as a consequence.
Zoraal Ja is unique, and the complications that come with being what he is in this cultural context are SMACK in the hazard zone of Gulool Ja Ja's own vulnerabilities and struggles.
Gulool Ja Ja's flying blind on this one, and his son's temperament is precisely the sort that his usual tools aren't a good fit for.
Papa's style is to give his children space, let them make their own decisions, to invite them to seek help and give them everything they could ask for in their environment to support them when he cannot.
Zoraal Ja's issue is one that would have required Gulool Ja Ja to be much more confident in his capacity as his parent than he seems to have been. He needed to see clearly that his son was struggling and that under his circumstances, he couldn't just ask for help, and ACT ON THAT OBSERVATION. Asking for support is not something that comes naturally to Zoraal Ja, and I can see a dozen reasons why he would actively avoid it, too.
'Kiddo, something's bothering you and for your own good, we need to talk or have you open up to someone else before this causes you great harm, and I will be accountable for this happening whether you're happy to cooperate or determined to run away from it. We're gonna figure this out, okay?'
That's the initiative it would have taken, at a much, much earlier point in time, for Zoraal Ja to have gotten the support he needed. He needed his parent to see the danger and protect him from it.
Gulool Ja Ja, through no ill intent or inate fault of his own, simply failed in that.
He doubtlessly has his own hangups, painful topics, things that drive even him to look away and lie to himself. Even if he had the amazing instinct of compensating for a shitton of his own flaws and limitations by cooperating with others that had what he lacked, again, in this one regard
literally nobody in existence
would have any sort of experience with this particular complexity, let alone the keen eye to identify Gulool Ja Ja's massive blind spot AND take the initiative to reach out to him and offer aid.
He and Zoraal ja both are masters at hiding their pain (these chicken dudes are a lot like cats, apparently), and both have pretty compelling reasons to do so. There aren't many people that would
a) care about them personally enough to even decide something needs fixing
b) have the emotional insight to detect what's going on and empathize with the exact problem
c) be the kind of person who could think of a suitable way to help without making a mess
d) have the guts to prod at their personal life without being asked to do so, and avoid getting shown the door immediately
In a sense, Gulool Ja Ja's unique circumstances, the rare thing that DISconnects him from others with no overlap with others anywhere, is his Achilles heel, his one fatal weakness in a person otherwise dipped in invulnerability.
And Zoraal Ja is the arrow that came for it, and it makes my heart break for the both of them.
(This gets a little personal for me, too, in the sense of 'my parents are so capable and smart and empathetic, they're so admirable and competent with everything and everyone EXCEPT WITH ME, for SOME reason, what the FUCK is wrong with me'. Nothing, my issues were just too much like their own issues, which isn't my fault and not theirs either.
Tell ya what, it's really weirdly painful to be in such a position as a kid, caught between love and admiration on one hand, and burning frustration and resentment and shitty self-esteem on the other.)
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writers-potion · 6 months
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How are literary and Commercial Stories Different?
Literary plots are meant to explore a specific theme/convey a message to the reader.
Literary plots can be slow paced.
Literary plots can have different types of endings.
Commercial plots are meant to entertain.
Commerical plots are fast-paced.
Commercial plots must almost always have a happy ending.
For Literary Plots:
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detailed characterization: authors explore the inner change and development of the character (which means the external action is going to be slower paced)
use of metaphors, symbols, and presentation of ideas in a way that requires analysis
aims to deliver a message or moral
On the other hand, Commercial Plots:
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fast-paced and action oriented, delivers highly emotional scenes so entice the reader rather than ambiguous writing
uses intuitive language, setting and tropes to help readers immerse in the story world quickly
often, the stakes are a lot higher
the ending needs to provide a sense of satisfaction for the readers. Otherwise, they might not feel compensated for all the time they invested in reading.
If you like my blog, buy me a coffee! ☕
Reference: <Write Great Fiction: Plot and Structure (techniques and exercises for craftin a plot that grips readers from start to finish)> by James Scott Bell
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kradogsrats · 2 months
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Signs of the Fall, Pt. 1
Since basically... forever? Look, idk I wasn't around for the first half of this fandom so I don't know when Aaravos as "fallen star" was revealed. But presumably since then, it's been a big question mark as to exactly what that means.
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We're told in places like the artbook that—along with whatever else it may mean—Aaravos being a "fallen" star means he's significantly depowered, and that his "fallen" status was a consideration in designing his look. So, reasonably, there should be identifiable features of Aaravos as a "fallen" Startouch elf, and we've collectively already spent a shit-ton of time overanalyzing them and what they mean.
BUT now that s6 is out and we have a chunk time seeing Aaravos before anything that would normally have been assumed to be his "fall" (more on that later), I wanted to return to some of the ones that have been most discussed.
The Eyes Have It
Previous assumption was that Aaravos's eyes not being the luminous Startouch pink outside of flashbacks was related to his status as a "fallen" Startouch elf and related to the darkening of his chest star:
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This has not been cleared up by s6, where he is shown both with
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and without the full-pink Startouch eyes
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in contexts that are basically identical, aside from medium (one being a painting, and one being animated), in the same damn episode.
So what, if anything, does it mean?
First of all, I want to acknowledge that this may be entirely a choice of artistic convenience. Having arted a time or two, myself—characters without human-standard visual distinction between sclera, iris, and pupil are an unbelievable pain in the ass. A huge amount of microexpressions that humans subconsciously rely on to convey mood and intent are entirely down to the spatial/size relationship of iris and pupil to the surrounding eyelids. Leola and TMO are animated with full-pink eyes, with the irises barely distinguishable and pupils invisible, sure—but Leola has a shit-ton of emotional body language to compensate and let's be real, TMO is intended to be serenely inscrutable and alien.
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It's just really, really hard to have a character convey the depth and nuance Aaravos requires when you're effectively barred from using one of the most critical aspects of facial expressions. Rather than fight that uphill battle, they may have chosen to handwave it in one context or another. (That is, the state of Aaravos's eyes is linked with his "fallen" status, and in the scenes with Leola they are meant to be different but it turned out to be way too annoying to handle.)
It could also, like Leola's single horn, be explained as a unique feature of Aaravos or this particular physical manifestation of Aaravos, except that they did go out of their way to include the full-pink eyes in not only the painted s4 flashbacks, but also the s3 promo art:
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To be completely honest: I'm not convinced at this point that this is a feature we're meant to attach significance to. Unless we get additional context of another Startouch elf with eyes like Aaravos's, or conditions under which Aaravos is actually animated with the full-pink Startouch eyes... I don't think we can really know for sure.
Star Up, Star Down
In the same vein as his eyes, we've attached a lot of importance to the orientation of Aaravos's chest star. Since the Star primal symbol is actually used very rarely, and in just about every context up to s6 it was in its "upright" orientation—that is, the opposite of Aaravos's chest star. And like, obviously a fallen star would be upside-down.
It seems like s6 is determined to mess with us in that respect. For the most part, Aaravos's chest star is upright, or opening-down:
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Until his grieving, when it is opening-up (and also darkened):
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HOWEVER, when TMO appears in the same scene, their chest star is also opening-up, though lit:
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We also get a LOT more usage of the Star primal symbol at the Starscraper:
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And—excluding when it's on the floor so you can't know for sure what the "proper" orientation is—it is exclusively opening-up:
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Also noteworthy is that we don't see the mark directly on Leola's chest, but on her clothing it is opening-up:
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As is her star in the constellation:
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So whatever the orientation is meant to signify—and unlike the eyes, I do think this is still significant in some way—it's unlikely that it's a strictly negative symbol. There's some other dichotomy at play that it's indicating.
Body Bling
This one doesn't come up as often, but it's suggested (at least in the artbook, IIRC) that Aaravos's body stars are brighter before he's "fallen," when he's at full power. Is this objectively true? Well... yeah, not really.
In arc two, they're very similar levels of brightness across s4-s6, independent of his chest star:
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In arc one, the mirror effect tends to be more pronounced than the one scene where we see it in arc two, so it sometimes looks like they're not as bright. I think they actually are meant to be, though:
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And then, of course, at the end of s2 when he's casting, everything is brighter:
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So that doesn't seem related at all, except in the sense that magic is shiny. Maybe we'll learn something at some point about Aaravos's relationship to the primal sources that will explain that, but for now we can put this one to bed.
aaaaand I have actually hit the "images per post" limit so we'll be concluding in Part 2!
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cakelitter · 2 months
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Home Sweet Home .・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜
summary: a drabble about what I think Leon's home would look like
Words: 785
a/n: this came out a bit more depressing than i would've thought lol, but hope you enjoy
.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜
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・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜
Leon is more of an apartment guy, no specific reason for that, just preference. He can most definitely buy himself a nice house with a spacious backyard in one of the nicest neighborhoods, his job might be shitty but it pays real well, a compensation for his mental wellbeing like he likes to say. But reality is he is lonely and having a big house would only amplify that feeling, instead he opted to buy a decently sized apartment in a quite neighborhood with two bedrooms incase someone visits, no one really will but it's nice to be optimistic for a change.
He would be a liar if he said that he wasn't living in an empty apartment with nothing other than a couch facing an empty wall and a sad mattress for the first 3 months after moving in. Leon is many things but an interior decorator is not one of them. When he eventually came around to furnishing, he only bought a couple of necessities, a dining table that can fit 6 people even though he doubts he even knows that many people anyways, a bed, dresser blah blah blah. The décor is lackluster to say the least, and as far as color scheme goes, mostly black and gray cause those are the easiest to clean.
However he did try to bring in some life into his apartment by buying a plant! He named him Hank... he died a few weeks later but he really wasn't shocked to be completely honest, who knew plants were this codependent. Unfortunately Hank's withered body remains in his living room, he doesn't really have the heart to throw him away. He did consider at one point adopting a furry friend to keep him company, you know , to have someone greet him at the front door when he comes back home, perhaps someone that misses him and anticipates his return could feel nice, but Hank's presence or the lack there of, is a constant reminder to him that he does not possess the capabilities of caring for someone.
You can't technically blame him for the lack of personality in his apartment since he is barely home anyways. He simply just wants a place to rest and rewind after a long day before getting up and repeating the cycle all over again, matter of a fact when apartment hunting his requirements for his new home were:
Has a roof
Not rat infested like the last one
Has windows
Listen, this poor unfortunate soul had the displeasure of sleeping in not the most ideal of places, such as sleeping in a room with 15 other men during his time in the government training program. And he thought that was as bad as it gets... that was until he had to experience sleeping in a dusty, cold cave with no sleeping bag during one of his missions, his body felt like it was in shambles for weeks afterwards. So, he would really appreciate not having Remy the rat as a roommate in his new home.
His apartment is pretty tidy for the most part but does he have the habit of stacking laundry on the chair in his room cause he's too lazy to actually put them away? Yes, but he's an adult with no will to live and insomnia so cut him some slack would you?
The fridge would be as empty as the right side of his bed if it wasn't for the few beers he always keeps on hand, you know for emotional support and the left overs of the takeout he ordered the night before. He once made the mistake of buying a couple of vegetables before leaving on a mission and came back to a whole eco system growing in his fridge drawer, pain in the ass to clean.
His bathroom cabinet is filled with enough painkillers, bandages, band-aids, plasters ,and burn cream to supply a whole hospital. As for his shower rack, it holds his expensive shampoo bottle, shower gel and believe it or not conditioner. Leon Kennedy is a man with not many fears, after all he's seen everything, however the idea of looking in the mirror one day and seeing a reflection of himself with a shiny bald head is enough to make him drop to his knees. Hence taking proper care of his hair is vital for him, and even made the effort of consulting Claire for some tips.
He keeps a pistol in the drawer of his bedside table cause it's better to be safe than sorry right? Is that his paranoia speaking? Absolutely. But he's not willing to test his luck on whether someone would break in or not.
・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜
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sleepyjuice-juice · 2 months
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So I don't hear too much talk on here about the Webtoon "Our Walk Home," but I just LOVE the way it handles perfectionism/people-pleasing and the big role that family dynamics play in yielding those tendencies. As a former major people-pleaser and perfectionist, dissecting Akihiko, Daiki, and their relationship to one another as brothers is an absolute must. Let's get into it, shall we?
Aki has mentioned that his older brother Daiki has done more to raise him than either of their parents (see episode 20). In his twenties, Daiki is a young, high-achieving and successful businessman. He also places an incredible amount of pressure on his younger brother to follow the same path.
I want to first analyze why Daiki acts this way.
It is more than likely that all the times Daiki has made comments on Aki like "Aren't you ashamed?" that those are all feelings that Daiki has felt. After all, it is obvious that while Daiki does not show his emotions much, he is just as afraid of failure as Aki. He's been projecting those insecurities onto Aki, and now Aki has inherited them.
From being so fiercely independent at such a young age, he was forced to grow up too fast, because he had to take care of his and his brothers' own lives with little to no help from the time he was literally a kid, himself. There was never room for him to breathe, of course he didn't have the space to mature emotionally. Obviously, the massive responsibility Daiki had to shoulder contributed to his fear of failure, but we don't know all the specifics. We hear him allude to his other family members - Akemi, Mom, Dad - when expressing that he didn't want Aki to "end up like... others." (episode 16).
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Of course, not being able to rely on his family and being forced to grow up fast was a shortcut that came with a price: trust issues!!! 🎉🎉
Now he doesn't trust anyone else to take care of things, including Aki - so in a toxic brand of brotherly love, Daiki manipulates him so that Aki trusts his older brother's judgment more than his own. That way, Daiki can keep all his ducks in a row. That is how Daiki has learned to be reliable - he is excessively controlling in order to compensate for the lack of control he had over the environment he lived in as a kid.
Now, I do genuinely think Daiki loves his brother! Aki wouldn't look up to Daiki so much if he was cold to him 24/7, that would result in different issues for Aki (that might be worth exploring actually, but would have to be their own post). He really does care and wants him to succeed, it's just that in the process, he also internalizes Aki's "failures", letting it speak to his efficacy as a guardian and a person. That is why he is so insistent that Aki depends on him, only him. Since childhood, his definition of his own competence has been his independence, with an emphasis on his dependability.
And when you look at how this affects Aki, well... Aki has learned not to trust himself. He relies on extrinsic factors to measure his own worth, and it's not just his brother's validation anymore - it's everyone. Growing up, the love he received was conditional and based on his conformity, so every judgment made on anything he does becomes a judgment of his character. He hates himself because he was never shown that he deserves love even with his imperfections.
Aki's mask requires an exhausting amount of maintenance, and yet, that has become the standard - perfection is his status-quo, and people around him are always expecting him to meet it. Dependent on approval of others, he minimizes the parts of him that are harder to stomach, sacrifices honesty for digestibility. That's the only way he can be loved and be happy, right?
But the KICKER is that if the authentic parts of him can't be loved as they are, then no matter what success he reaches, Aki can never truly be happy with himself. And I mean, really think about it!! On the outside, Daiki is the picture of success, and yet, he's still so goddamn pressed about how his brother is living his life. Does that sound like someone who's found happiness? No!!!! Self love will always be intrinsic. Success won't be satisfying enough to either of them until they learn to work on what's going on inside.
Both Daiki and Aki will never escape their human depth, so even though "Our Walk Home" is Aki's recovery story, I really hope we get to see both of them heal. Daiki could use those years of growth he missed out on, but will he shed his ways in favor of approaching how his roots grew into a tremendous weed, drinking up all the life around it? Or will his stubborn reality prevail, leaving no room for Aki and Daiki to coexist in the spaces their realities overlap? Only time will tell. Thank you for coming to my ted talk
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magiclostinfantasy · 8 months
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A Potion Mishap || Theodore Nott x reader
Warnings: None (Apart from a shitty ending) Summary: Y/n and Theo find themselves in a week-long body swap after an accident with their project.
Y/n L/n and Theodore Nott were known for their prowess in potion-making, mastering nearly every potion they were assigned to brew. So it wasn’t a surprise when Professor Snape, the stern Potions Master, paired Y/n and Theodore for a challenging project. The assignment required them to brew the elusive Elixir of Luminescence, a potion rumored to glow like a thousand stars when concocted perfectly. 
Y/n, a studious and determined witch with a penchant for precision, was immediately focused on the task at hand. Theodore, on the other hand, known for his cunning and resourcefulness, saw the project as an opportunity to showcase his skills. As they gathered the ingredients and set up their cauldron in the dimly lit dungeon, they had no clue that this collaboration would lead to unforeseen consequences.
Their instructions were clear, and the stakes were high – impress Professor Snape, and the glory of mastering the Elixir of Luminescence would be theirs. Y/n meticulously measured out the moonstone dust while Theodore expertly handled the fluxweed. The air in the dungeon crackled with anticipation as they mixed their ingredients with precision.
However, in the midst of their focused work, a mischievous house-elf, intrigued by the brewing magic, appeared near the cauldron. Startled, Y/n and Theodore turned their attention to the unexpected visitor, momentarily forgetting the delicate balance of their potion.
In that fleeting moment of distraction, disaster struck. Instead of carefully adding a single drop of leech juice, both Y/n and Theodore simultaneously poured a considerable amount into the simmering cauldron. A greenish smoke billowed, filling the air with an acrid scent that hinted at the unexpected turn their project had taken.
As the greenish smoke began to dissipate, revealing the chaotic aftermath of their unintentional potion experiment, Y/n and Theodore exchanged nervous glances. Professor Snape's piercing gaze bore into them, and with a subtle nod, he signaled for them to continue their work.
Undeterred by the setback, Y/n and Theodore resumed their brewing with newfound determination. They exchanged hushed whispers, strategizing on how to salvage their project and impress the ever-watchful professor.
The minutes stretched into hours as they painstakingly followed the revised steps, compensating for the unexpected influx of leech juice. Beads of sweat formed on Y/n's forehead as Theodore stirred the cauldron with controlled urgency. The dungeon's atmosphere became tense, a palpable mix of anticipation and anxiety hanging in the air.
After what felt like an eternity, the potion reached its final stage. Y/n cautiously added the powdered moonstone dust, and as the ingredients merged, a soft glow enveloped the cauldron. The Elixir of Luminescence radiated a mesmerizing light that danced like miniature stars within the liquid.
Professor Snape's stern expression softened slightly as he observed the potion. It seemed their efforts had not gone entirely unnoticed. With a curt nod of approval, he dismissed them, leaving Y/n and Theodore to bask in the mixed emotions of relief and accomplishment.
As they exited the potions classroom, the weight of the mishap lingered in the air. Y/n couldn't shake the feeling that they had messed something up. Theodore, ever the pragmatist, tried to reassure Y/n, reminding them that their potion had, against all odds, succeeded in captivating Professor Snape's attention.
The following evening, Y/n and Theodore gathered in the Slytherin common room to discuss their success with the Elixir of Luminescence. Excitement and relief filled the air as they relished in the triumph of overcoming the potion mishap. 
As they clinked their goblets in a toast, the potion worked its subtle magic.
Y/n felt a sudden dizziness, the room spinning around her. Theodore, too, sensed an inexplicable shift. Their surroundings blurred, and before they could comprehend what was happening, they found themselves standing in the common room - but something was off.
Y/n stared in disbelief at Theodore, who was staring right back with widened eyes. Their voices exchanged in a surreal twist as Theodore spoke in Y/n's voice, "What just happened?"
Y/n, now in Theodore's body, responded with a disoriented tone, "I... I have no idea. This wasn't supposed to happen."
A wave of panic swept over them as they frantically tried to make sense of the situation. Theodore, awkwardly adjusting to Y/n's body, exclaimed, "Merlin's beard, we swapped bodies!"
Y/n, grappling with Theodore's taller frame, replied, "This has to be a side effect of the potion. We need to figure out how to reverse it!"
Theodore, fumbling with Y/n's wand, muttered, "Reverse? Right, get the potions book." They huddled over the textbook, their fingers flipping through pages, searching for a solution.
In the midst of their frantic search, Y/n muttered, "This is insane. How did we manage to brew a body-swapping potion accidentally?"
Theodore, now reading aloud, answered, "Apparently, an excessive amount of leech juice amplifies the potion's effects. We've brewed a week-long body-swap potion. Great."
Y/n, realizing the gravity of the situation, sighed, "A week? In each other's bodies?"
Theodore nodded grimly, "Seems like it. We better make the best of it and try not to draw attention."
As they reluctantly accepted their predicament, the common room door creaked open. Pansy Parkinson, always curious, stepped in and looked at them quizzically. "What's going on? You two seem... different."
Y/n, attempting to imitate Theodore's nonchalant demeanor, replied with an awkward smile, "Oh, nothing, just experimenting with a new charm."
Pansy, raising an eyebrow, shrugged and left them to their devices. As the door closed, Y/n and Theodore exchanged uneasy glances, realizing that the challenges of adapting to each other's lives had just begun.
The following morning, Y/n and Theodore wandered awkwardly through Hogwarts in each other's bodies, garnering curious looks from fellow students. Their footsteps echoed in the corridor as they headed to the library, hoping to find a solution within the dusty tomes.
Y/n, still adjusting to Theodore's taller frame, grumbled, "I feel like a giraffe. How do you manage like this?"
Theo, struggling with Y/n's more delicate features, retorted, "Well, at least I don't have to crane my neck to see the top shelf."
They entered the library, earning stern glares from Madam Pince, who clearly disapproved of their presence. Y/n scanned the shelves while muttering, "We need to find something about reversing body-swaps. It can't be that uncommon, right?"
Theodore, riffling through a book, replied, "I hope so. I'd rather not spend the whole week trying to be you."
Y/n chuckled, "Trust me, being you isn't a walk in the park either."
They delved into the books, whispering incantations and searching for clues. Y/n, growing more frustrated, muttered, "This is impossible. We're stuck like this."
Theodore, attempting to reassure, said, "We'll find a way. We just need to keep looking."
Suddenly, Y/n's eyes widened as they stumbled upon a section about accidental body-swaps. "Wait, I think I found something. There's a reversal spell, but we need Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws."
Theodore leaned in, peering at the page, "Where on earth are we going to find those?"
Y/n thought for a moment, "Snape’s storerooms. We'll need someone to gather the ingredients for us."
Theodore grinned mischievously, "Leave that to me. I'll be back before you know it."
As Theodore left the library, Y/n sighed, "This week is turning out to be more complicated than I ever imagined."
Theodore snuck into Snape's storeroom. The dimly lit room was filled with an array of magical ingredients, jars, and peculiar specimens. Theodore whispered to himself, "Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws... Where would Snape keep those?"
Back in the library, Y/n's focus was momentarily broken when Draco approached her. Draco, not recognizing Y/n in Theodore’s body, said, "You left your diary in the common room, man. You should thank me, Pansy almost read it."
Y/n, surprised by the unexpected courtesy, took the diary and mumbled a thank you. As Draco turned to leave, curiosity got the better of Y/n. With Theo’s diary in hand, she couldn't resist the temptation to sneak a peek.
Flipping through the pages, Y/n discovered his innermost thoughts, penned down in ink. The revelations hit like a storm – Theodore Nott had a crush on her. The words spoke of admiration, subtle attempts to get closer, and a longing that had remained hidden beneath the surface. Y/n's heart raced as the implications of Theodore's feelings sank in.
Meanwhile, Theodore, now with the Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws in hand, exited Snape's storeroom and found himself unexpectedly bumping into Pansy in the hallway.
Pansy, raising an eyebrow, remarked, "Y/n, you seem a bit off today. Everything alright?"
Theodore, momentarily taken aback, stammered, "Yeah, just... you know, potion mishap things. Nothing to worry about."
Pansy, oblivious to the body-swap, continued, "I wanted to talk to you about Theo. You two have been spending a lot of time together. Did you finally get the guts to ask your loverboy out?"
Theodore, shocked by Pansy's revelation, managed to say, "What? No, we're just working on a potion project together. Nothing more."
Pansy smirked, "Sure, girl. Just remember, you can tell me anything."
As Pansy walked away, Theodore, still processing the newfound knowledge about Y/n's feelings, made his way back to the library. However, he decided to keep the revelation to himself for now, unsure of how to navigate the delicate situation.
Back in the library, Y/n, their heart still pounding from Theodore's confession in the diary, awaited Theodore's return, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions and revelations that would soon reshape the dynamics of their relationship.
Theodore entered the library with a conflicted expression, struggling to process the bombshell that Pansy had dropped. As he approached Y/n, still immersed in the library's sea of books, he hesitated before saying, "Found the ingredients. Snape's storeroom is like a labyrinth."
Y/n looked up, and the air seemed to crackle with tension. "Good. Let's get started on brewing this reversal potion. The sooner we fix this, the better."
Theodore, attempting nonchalance, replied, "Right, no need to spend any more time in each other's shoes than necessary."
As they set up their makeshift potion-making station in a secluded corner of the library, Y/n couldn't help but notice the subtle changes in Theodore's demeanor. "Is everything alright, Theo?"
Theodore hesitated for a moment, then sighed, "It's just... Pansy. She asked if we were dating. I had no idea she thought that way."
Y/n, suppressing a smirk, responded in Theodore's deep voice, "Well, the Slytherin Prince might have some admirers."
Theodore, looking genuinely perplexed, said, "This isn't a joke, Y/n. I've never considered... you know, us."
Y/n, in Theodore's body, raised an eyebrow, "Really? Never?"
Theodore's eyes shifted, revealing an unspoken truth. "I mean, we're friends, right? But I never thought..."
Y/n felt her heart drop, "It's complicated. But, I found something interesting in your diary."
Theodore's eyes widened, "You read my diary?"
Y/n, in a teasing tone, replied, "Couldn't resist. Turns out, you've got a crush on me. Who would've thought?"
Theo blushed, a rare sight for the usually composed Slytherin. "Look, Y/n, it's not like I planned for you to find out this way."
Y/n, placing a reassuring hand on Theo's, said, "No harm done. Let's just focus on fixing this mess for now."
Theo, grateful for Y/n's understanding, nodded. "Okay. Let's brew this reversal potion and put an end to this madness."
As they gathered the ingredients and followed the intricate steps of the potion, the air became charged with tension.
Y/n, breaking the silence, said, "You know, Theodore, being in your shoes for a while... it's not as easy as it seems."
Theodore, stirring the potion with a thoughtful expression, responded, "Same goes for me, Y/n. Your life is more complicated than I thought."
They continued the delicate process of brewing, occasionally sharing anecdotes about their respective lives. The library, once a sanctuary of knowledge, transformed into a confessional where Y/n and Theodore laid bare their thoughts and emotions.
As the potion neared completion, Theodore looked at Y/n, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. "I never expected this potion mishap to bring us to such a revelation."
Y/n, smiling, replied, "Sometimes, the unexpected moments reveal the most about us."
With the reversal potion finally completed, they stood back, glancing at each other with a mix of relief and newfound understanding. The potion shimmered with the promise of returning them to their original selves.
Theodore, extending a hand, said, "Shall we do the honors, Y/n?"
She nodded, "Together, then."
As they recited the incantation, a burst of magical energy enveloped them, and the library seemed to sigh in relief. The world spun and then the magic settled.
Y/n and Theo, now back in their own bodies, found themselves standing in the dimly lit hallway outside the library. The air between them hung heavy with anticipation, the newfound awareness lingering like a spell in the enchanted air.
Theo, his eyes filled with a mixture of nervousness and longing, gently brushed a strand of hair from Y/n's face. "So, um, about what happened in the library..."
Y/n, giving Theo a playful smirk, let out a soft laugh, "You mean the part where you've been hiding a secret crush on me? Seems I've been oblivious to the Slytherin Prince's affections."
Theo blushed, a warmth spreading across his cheeks, "Well, when you put it that way..."
Y/n, closing the distance between them, reached out to trace a gentle path along his jawline, "No need to be embarrassed, darling. It's surprising, but in the most enchanting way."
Theodore, captivated by Y/n's touch, looked into their eyes with a mix of relief and anticipation. "Surprising, huh? I wasn't sure how you'd take it."
Y/n, sincere and tender, whispered, "Truth is, I never expected this either. But I’m glad it happened"
Theodore’s fingers delicately entwined with Y/n's as he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with Y/n's. "So, how do you feel about... us?"
Y/n, their lips mere inches apart, whispered, "I like you Theo. More than you know."
Theodore, sensing the unspoken desire, leaned in, their lips meeting in a soft, lingering kiss. As they hesitantly pulled back, Y/n, feeling a surge of courage, pulled him back for another.
Theodore, his gaze filled with adoration, replied, "Be mine, Y/n. I can’t go a day longer without you by my side."
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ymiwritesstuff · 4 months
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Lack of You | Ch. 5
UHHHH HI!! Listen I'm so so sorry this once again took so long!! Like, the burnout hit at the WORST time because this one is supposed to be THE chapter, you know? A lot of important stuff and all. But once again, this one is VERY long, which I hope compensates for the wait. Thank you SO much for the support and patience and I hope you guys will enjoy this and that people are still reading this ;-;
Genshin Impact
Yandere!Childe/Tartaglia x Fem!Reader
Summary: It had been months since your arrival in Liyue, and the world around you didn't seem so sad and cruel anymore. During one of Liyue's most significant festivals, you find yourself absorbing emotions you hadn't felt or accepted in years. And in the center of them all, was your savior.
Notes: 18+, Fluff, Smut, unprotected sex, fingering, vaginal sex, "lovemaking", we finally fuck Zhongli wohooo
Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5
Also posted on AO3!
18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
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Zhongli was not blind. And he certainly was no fool either. He had lived for long enough to know how the human mind functioned and how one responded to traumatic events of the past. He knew all too well, and when the opportunity to help someone in need presented itself, he could not overlook it.
He wondered if he had been too invasive, too eager to offer his assistance, but he justified his doubts by telling himself that it was the right thing to do. Given who he was, he felt responsible for the people of Liyue he held so dear, and even though you had drifted to the region fueled by determination to escape, you had quickly adopted the harbor as your home and tried to rebuild your life. And it had worked, much to his relief.
It had been a few months. The seeds of progress he had planted from the moment he saw you on that rainy day were finally beginning to sprout. You had gotten more active, completing every errand he had tasked you with the utmost diligence and efficiency. He was more than pleased to see this, as the primary motivation for this part of the contract was to give you something to occupy your mind with that wasn’t your dark and heavy memories.
Zhongli still did not know everything, nor was he necessarily desiring to. When you first met him and as time went on, he made his own less than gracious conclusions that were far from pleasant. He noticed the little signs that showed through your behavior, how you initially avoided making contact with his eyes, instead opting for the ground, and how your form was frequently taut and cautious, giving glances behind you as if someone was following you.
All that and more told him all he needed to know.
His curiosity was far from extinguished, though, but he would not attempt to kill it by asking or even insinuating that he wanted to know more. The unwritten boundaries set between you two would stay up unless you yourself wanted to bring them down. Zhongli wished to create something in which you felt safe enough to open up should you feel the need to do so.
And to an extent, he had managed that. No longer were your shoulders tense from anxiety around him nor did your voice disappear as you spoke. Your previously dull, almost lifeless eyes had regained their fire and instead of looking at him with uncertainty or doubt, he only saw perseverance and tenacity.
He had somewhat kept his distance out of respect for your outer limits, but as time went by he noticed you seeking him out more and more. Occasional conversations over tea became a part of your life in Liyue, and during these mundane meetings, Zhongli started observing the healing.
For a human, your strength was admirable, and as the man who had saved and guided you, he could say with confidence that he was proud of your progress.
In a way, his duty had been fulfilled. You knew Liyue like the back of your hand and did not require his assistance navigating the region. That meant that your interactions had developed into something more informal, which both he and you appreciated greatly.
You had not strayed away from him, which had been something he had considered you doing throughout your healing. Instead, you opened up to him, telling him about your life back in Snezhnaya, however, carefully dancing around the fragile ice that guarded the horrible events that had led you to Liyue.
It was only partially because you did not want to relive the memories and would have rather left them in the past. Still, in reality, even if you wanted to let him into the once-decayed graveyard that was your mind, you would not have been able to tell him everything.
For you couldn’t remember it all.
The life you had been coveting ever since your escape was at your fingertips, but at the cost of losing the majority of the memories that used to haunt you. It frightened you, if only slightly. Reliving everything, again and again, was the last thing you wanted, but perhaps in the back of your mind, you felt distressed at how seemingly and surprisingly simple it had been. Your memory had started to fade mere weeks into your arrival, but what scared you possibly the most was the fact that the danger was not entirely over.
No matter how much of your recollection disappeared into the void, you always remembered him. The things he had done to you were a blur, but the image of his eerily calm yet unhinged face was crystal clear. And you feared it.
The possibility of him finding you at this point was unlikely, and forcing you back home even more so. You had the adepti and Mr. Zhongli’s protection, not to mention the fact that the strict operations of the Fatui most likely kept Childe so busy, that he had no time to pursue anything or anyone else. In hindsight, you were glad he had joined that wretched group, for it gave you some much-needed peace of mind.
All in all, you were safe, that much you knew for certain. The only things disturbing you were small images and flashes of him, but you endured them because unlike the real him, they could not hurt you.
“So, what happened next?” Shu asked with an almost knowing smile on her lips and a teacup in her hands as if she already knew what you’d say next as you recalled the events from the other day. You chuckled before you continued.
“She was so exhausted she fell face-first into the pile of Glaze Lillies we had just gathered,” you concluded, laughter escaping your lips with the last few words. The fresh image of someone as proper and punctual as Ganyu succumbing to something so trivial as exhaustion amused you greatly, though you felt bad for the girl and the embarrassment that she clearly felt after she awoke.
“Poor Ganyu,” Shu said, placing her cup on the outdoor table upon which you two sat. “When will she realize that she can’t keep overworking herself like this?”
You stifled a laugh, noticing the humorous glimmer in her eyes. “It’s been how many millennia now, Shu? I think it will take at least five more.”
A joyous laughter from both of you filled the air as you went in for another sip of that delicious jasmine tea you had become familiar with. The taste brought you comfort, as did Shu’s company.
After a ridiculous amount of time spent worrying about and going over how you could even begin to ask forgiveness from the thoughtful nurse after what had occurred, you eventually managed to do so and apologize. As selfish as it sounded, you had been afraid to lose her and the possible help you could have received from her. It was thanks to her that you were back on your feet and it was her that had basically kickstarted all the positive things that had happened to you. You were beyond grateful.
Shu was a kind woman, her gaze was always warm and welcoming, so it shouldn’t have been such a shock to you when she forgave you without hesitation. 
After that, things returned to as they were when you first arrived, except this time you felt lighter, rid of the feelings of doubt that had bothered you so. Shu continued offering you her support, much more than you thought was appropriate for a simple nurse-patient relationship.
However, it didn’t take you too long to realize that Shu was more than a nurse who doted on you. She had become a friend and an irreplaceable one at that.
Shu glanced at the pier not too far away, that pleasant smile never disappearing. She watched as the people worked tirelessly making the final preparations for the night’s event. The entire harbor was even more full of life than usual and for a good reason.
“This year’s Lantern Rite will be truly phenomenal.” She turned back to you with that familiar kindness in her expression. “I’m glad you’ll be able to experience it tonight.”
Your smile mirrored hers. You had heard of the old tradition many times during your time in Liyue and soon came to understand its importance. You could only imagine the brilliance and warmth that the festival gave birth to during this time of year. The people began making preparations early on, and seeing the progress coming to an end filled you with a fresh sense of excitement you hadn’t felt previously. 
“I can’t wait.” You turned back to her. “I’ve never seen fireworks, you know?”
Shu’s smile seemed to widen if that was even possible at this point.
“Oh, you’re going to love them! They only get better each year.” Her hazel eyes wandered to the afternoon sky as she reminisced about all the beautiful works of art that had decorated the heavens for all these years. From the look on her face alone, you could deduce that she adored the event, seemingly more than the average citizen.
“Will you be watching them with Yingyue?” You asked, curious about the woman Shu had talked so fondly about in the past. It was clear to you from the way her face lit up every time the name was merely mentioned that the nurse felt a certain way about her. This time was no exception.
“Ah… I haven’t asked her yet. Do you think she’d want to join me?”
Her question made you scoff and roll your eyes as to you the answer was more than obvious. 
“Of course I do. Didn’t you say that your last meeting went well? I can’t think of any reason why Yingyue wouldn’t want to spend more time with you,” you encouraged, which seemed to put Shu at ease, the warmth on her cheeks never disappearing. Her eyes found the ground but her smile prevailed.
“Yes. I think you are right.” You gave her a smug grin and finished the last drops of your tea.
“I know I am,” you said as you stood up. “In fact, I’m so certain she’ll say yes that you are going to go ask her right now.” Shu’s smile quickly disappeared and her face twisted into shock.
“What?! Right now?? (Name) I can’t do that!” She exclaimed, to which you giggled and gathered your things.
“Sure you can. I have to go run some errands now.” You looked at her with an expression that could have been described as jokingly serious.
“I better see you with her tonight or else the evil spirit of ‘having-an-awful-time-at-the-Lantern-Rite-because-I-didn’t-invite-a girl-with-me’ will haunt you forever!” You spread your palms and held them in front of you in an exaggeratedly dramatic attempt to terrify her.
Something inside you cringed at your actions. Director Hu was so much better at this.
Still, Shu laughed cheerfully, much to your joy. “Alright alright. I’ll go ask her.” A satisfied smile made its way onto your lips as you basked in your small success. 
“Good. So, I’ll see you two later tonight?” While your voice held some mischievousness, you had been genuinely wanting to meet this girl who was the partial source of Shu’s happiness. That emotion stuck to you as well, you didn’t remember the last time someone else’s joy had been this contagious.
Shu nodded. “Thank you for the encouragement, truly.” She bowed her head, a custom you were more than used to at this point, so much so that you instinctively did the same, before you began your departure.
You felt content with your accomplishment, despite it being rather ordinary. Shu had helped you tremendously throughout the months, so you were glad you were able to provide her with a bit of assistance of your own. It was the least you could do.
Though you felt like nothing you did would be truly enough to repay for everything she had done for you. For what had felt like an eternity, you had only known monsters that wore the cloak of the people you thought were allies, and betrayal in its rawest form. You had been fooled, forced to be the center of a twisted desire, and corrupted beyond all that once made sense. Losing all faith in everything that you once thought kept you safe. People, laws, and even the Archons had all failed you, which only left a bitter taste and distrust in your heart, one you thought could never be redeemed.
However, people like Shu gave you hope and restored that lost trust in the world. She and everything else in Liyue was like a blessing that you had long needed to survive.
As you walked around the decorated harbor, you greeted some of the locals you had become familiar with. With your work for the funeral parlor came opportunities to socialize and help the people, some of whom you had become especially acquainted with. It was rewarding and helped you form a sense of security within the region that had once felt so unsafe.
Liyue felt like your home more than ever before, and participating in the Lantern Rite would solidify your position as a citizen of the harbor. That’s how it felt to you at least, the locals and others had welcomed you long ago. Being a part of something so vital to Liyue felt fulfilling, and further allowed you to put behind the regrets of the past and the cold that had followed you all the way from Snezhnaya.
You barely thought of the icy region anymore. You had no reason to, nor did you want to. The Tsaritsa’s plan of which you did not know the details, was in motion and you were sure nothing would deter Her Majesty and her vile Harbingers in their pursuit of domination. That, however, had little effect on you anymore.
Your legs led you to the heart of the harbor, where people walked and ran around, applying the finishing touches to make the surroundings look as festive as possible. Lanterns were painted, and fireworks were being prepared for their grand launch. The atmosphere was so different, yet familiar at the same time. The busy streets were no strange sight to you, however, as you stood in the middle of the preparations for the biggest festival of the region, you couldn’t help but feel special.
As you took in the view, your eyes wandered to one of the many shops. You didn’t recall ever seeing this one before, which led you to surmise that it was one of those stalls opened only during the festival. Shu had told you about them, and apparently, they were favored by tourists who traveled to the harbor for the Lantern Rite. By the looks of it, Shu’s explanation made sense. The shop was filled with what you could call souvenirs, items, and gems from the region that people could take home with them to remind them of their journey.
However, what caught your eye was something placed right in front of the shop. A dress. The kind of dress you had seen some of the wealthier locals wear from time to time. The colors were light, and the fabric looked airy and comfortable. You couldn’t look away.
In your admiration, you slowly walked to it, which prompted the cheerful clerk to turn to you. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” You merely hummed a response, fingers carefully lifting one of the long sleeves that looked so inviting. The silk was smooth to the touch, and the delicate flower embroidery on the midsection stretched all the way to the top part of the neatly pleated skirt.
The dress was rather modest. With a high neckline that folded into a cross-collar and a ribbon that coiled around the waist, it gave an aura of elegance and beauty, unlike anything you had seen before. You ran your hand down the front, feeling the fabric and silently admiring the craftsmanship.
“You’re not the first one to look at it so longingly.” You finally looked at the clerk, who had somewhat of a regretful expression on their face. “I’m afraid the price is a bit too much for most. It’s one of a kind after all.”
Curiosity stuck to you, and you glanced at the price tag. Wow. The clerk wasn’t lying, it was quite out of the league of average citizens. It didn’t surprise you though, the dress was stunning. With the revelation, a thought sprouted in your head:
You could afford it.
You thought about it for a second. The dress was beautiful, and you had managed to gather a good amount of mora with which you only ever bought food and other things meant to aid in living. You had never bought anything you could describe as… Fun. Tonight would be special. People would gather together and marvel at the beauty of the festival. It was no ordinary event and thus no ordinary clothes would be appropriate.
If you were to look your best, might as well do it right.
“I’ll take it.”
~
As the sun was nearing the horizon, painting the sky with colors of comforting warmth, your errand run was coming to an end. You had never burned this much mora on a single trip but felt strangely fulfilled. The dress you bought was carefully folded in a bag and you made sure to take especially good care of it before you would wear it. You’ll never forget the overjoyed expression of the clerk. The image brought a smile to your face.
The charm of the souvenir shop left an impression on you and made you wonder what wonders the other regions of Teyvat housed. Maybe one day you would set foot into nearly every corner of the world, gaping at the cultures and sceneries, the events of the past left behind to rot.
You let out a breath as you came to a stop at a small bridge that protected a pool of water. Smiling to yourself, you thought about all the fortunes that had befallen you and just how lucky you had been. You had gotten your life in order, made a living for yourself and most of all, made friends with the people and beings who had selflessly helped you. You still couldn’t understand why or how any of this was even possible, but you were the happiest you had ever been.
The sound of approaching footsteps caught your attention and as you turned towards it, your heart swelled. The sight of those familiar, comforting golden irises was always a happy one. With a lovely smile, you greeted the man with a seemingly otherworldly presence you had noticed from the very first meeting.
“Mr. Zhongli, good evening.” Out of habit, you bowed slightly. Despite knowing him for quite a long time, you still felt the need to express politeness whilst in his company, he was a man with a rather high status after all, and only now did you understand why people thought of him so supremely.
“Good evening,” He returned the bow, his voice as delightful as ever. “I trust that you have wrapped up your preparations for the Lantern Rite?” He asked, pointing to your bags of various purchases with his gaze. You gave a nod.
“That I have. I was just on my way back home to get dressed for the fireworks.” Mr. Zhongli gave a nod of understanding before suddenly extending his arm to you, that warm smile you had had the pleasure of seeing multiple times spread across his lips.
“Shall I walk you, then?” His request surprised you somewhat. You knew he was as courteous as one could be, yet you didn’t expect him to offer to take time out of his possibly busy evening and spend it in your company. Despite that, however, you felt something twist in your insides at the sight of him offering his help once more.
“That would be great, thank you.” You gave him one of your bags and with your now free hand, wrapped it around his arm and positioned yourself by his side. As you began walking in relative silence, you wondered what went through his head. Glancing at him carefully, you only saw an expression so neutral and unbothered, that it caught you off guard slightly.
The details of his face had never been this close to you and you found your eyes glued to them. His skin was flawless, his eyelashes were long and as dark as his hair and while his lips were thin, they were naturally dusted with an extremely sheer shade of pink. Only now, in this moment, did you truly realize just how incredibly handsome he was.
You turned your gaze forward, hand squeezing his arm just slightly. Suddenly, you were hit with so many complicated, almost suffocating emotions, ones you had ever truly felt only once before. But why now? Perhaps it was because you finally felt at ease enough to allow yourself to experience the underlying excitement and the increase in your heartbeat when in someone’s company.
You gripped the handle of the bag you were carrying tighter. Body encased in growing warmth, you somehow managed to continue walking relatively normally by his side.
He was reticent. You were expecting to hear his voice talk about the Lantern Rite or any other tradition of Liyue he seemed to possess an endless amount of knowledge about. But there was none of that. Only silence. It was not uncomfortable, quite the opposite, but right now, you strangely missed the sound of his voice.
As you neared the staircase that led to your home, you heard him let out a small breath. He glanced at you, the gentleman in him making sure you stepped up each stair without issues. Zhongli knew it was not entirely necessary, looking out for you was merely something he was somewhat used to, as that had been the primary foundation of your relationship for a time.
That foundation was crumbling and shifting into something else and he felt it. You both did. As you regained strength, so did a desire to learn more about Mr. Zhongli. You had opened up to him, abandoned all doubts and suspicions that previously weighed on your heart, and approached him further because you wanted to, not because the circumstances forced you to.
And you were always happy to see him.
“(Name),” He called out as you reached the top of the staircase. His voice was subtly different as if he had deserted his professionalism and opted for a tone suitable for a long-time friend. It was the tiniest of shifts, but you caught it.
“I have a question for you.” You blinked a couple of times and nodded, signaling him to continue. He cleared his throat and broke eye contact for a brief second. You frowned your brows slightly. Why did he seem so uneasy all of a sudden?
“The Lantern Rite is about to begin and as you know, it is the biggest festival in all of Liyue.” You listened carefully, utterly unsure where he was going with this. His eyes softened and the warmth in them almost made you melt.
“As such, it would be an honor to spend it in your company.” Your eyes widened and you felt a tingle in the pit of your stomach as he finished his proposal:
“Would you like to join me in watching the fireworks tonight?”
You sucked in a breath so fast you almost choked, the innocent question drifting in your head, spinning your brain around. Immediately you thought back to your earlier conversation with Shu, and suddenly, you found yourself relating to the nurse in a way you never could have expected.
Breaking eye contact, you stared at the ground for a brief moment, thinking about his words far too much. Your nervousness wasn’t due to the kind of anxiety you used to feel but rather due to an overwhelming set of emotions and feelings towards this man. The mere question did not confirm anything, nor were you completely sure what you even truly felt, but his proposition ignited internal flames you thought were permanently extinguished.
When you looked at him again your heart skipped a beat. Never before had you felt this way when looking at him, at least not in a way you could acknowledge. He was patiently waiting for your response and you were sure that even if you were to reject his offer, it would not offend him. It was just the kind of man he was. Kind, polite, selfless, and unbelievably attractive.
You could never say no to such a proposal from him.
“I would love to.”
The expression upon his face brightened and he seemed almost relieved at your answer.
“Wonderful. Shall we meet after sunset?” You briefly eyed beyond the railing, the sun only slightly visible from behind the horizon. It would be night soon, and the harbor would enter a completely new grandeur, one completely foreign to you.
“Sounds good.” You smiled, all that previous turbulence fading away and getting replaced by a pleasant calm that washed over you as you noted his gorgeous expression, satisfied with the outcome of his question.
You took your bag from him and turned to your door, ready to start preparing for a night you had a feeling would be unforgettable.
“See you then.”
~
The lit lanterns of your home draped the entire area in a pleasant glow as the sun finally reached its destination. The bag in which your earlier purchase once sat lay empty on a table, and instead, the comforting silk fabric hugged your form. Looking at yourself through the mirror, you were in awe.
The robe-like dress fit you like a glove and the Glaze Lillies you had placed in your hair matched the embroidery perfectly. Twirling a couple of times, you took in your appearance. The flowing skirt and sleeves looked almost hypnotizing and the combination of fabrics felt more comfortable than you could have ever imagined. Somehow, the garment looked even better once it was worn. You didn’t dare to admit it out loud, but you looked beautiful.
Glancing through the slightly open window, you noted how the evening darkness slowly engulfed the sky and how the warm colors that had adorned it faded away. It reminded you of your meeting and it did not take long for you to start making your way to the front door after taking one more look at your reflection through the mirror.
Mixed thoughts filled your mind as you descended the familiar set of stairs, ones of happiness, and awe, but also nervousness. You could not help but wonder what the following hours had in store and a part of you was not certain of how you would behave around Mr. Zhongli after your only recently realized feelings. Perhaps you had always felt a certain pull towards him, but only now did you truly realize it.
There was no guarantee of anything, however. You would be happy with whatever fate had in store for you regarding him. He saved your life, and for that, you would always be grateful.
When you arrived at the same bridge you had run into him earlier, he was already there, curiously eyeing the surroundings that had become radiant in warm lights as he so often was. His attire was different, much more festive, and thus much more suitable for the night’s occasion. You barely saw his face, but you just knew the kind of expression he had, the one where he was idly looking around, with no thoughts of urgency in his mind.
His outfit was in the colors you were used to and was not too different from his daily attire. The darkness of the expensive-looking fabric was lifted by the gold accents that, much like his eyes, seemed to be almost glowing. His shoulders were adorned by metallic decorations, much larger than the ones in his usual clothes. The outfit was long, and it swayed in the gentle winds as he stood, gloved hands on the railing. You watched him in pure awe. He was ethereal, like an adeptus, mighty, like a god, he was…
“Gorgeous.”
The word flew out of your mouth effortlessly, with no attempts to restrain it. Mr. Zhongli seemingly heard it, as he was quick to turn his head towards you. You did not look away, you weren’t able to. The word was an understatement, you didn’t think there existed any that could describe the man that stood before you.
Zhongli paused for a brief moment as he took in your appearance, the greetings he was about to say disappearing and fading away somewhere he could no longer find them. He usually had the right words for any situation but now, he was utterly speechless. You were beautiful. Like a withered flower that had regained its strength and beauty. Your eyes were full of life, like reignited flames of bravery and determination.
“You look… Stunning,” he managed to say, to which you smiled shyly. His voice wavered slightly, rid of its usual structure. You had never heard him like this, and it seemed almost more… Human. You couldn’t exactly put your finger on it, but you appreciated the compliment from him.
“Thank you, Mr. Zhongli. You look wonderful as well.” He smiled at your words. “Shall we?”
With a nod, you once again wrapped your fingers around his arm and walked by his side. You trusted he knew the best spot to watch the fireworks that would soon take to the dark sky. The harbor was so beautiful, decorations you had never seen before sprinkled all over and the smell of local delicacies floating in your nose. The atmosphere was most wonderful and in this moment, with Mr. Zhongli by your side, you were happy that you had ended up in Liyue.
As your eyes scoured the area, they spotted something. Your feet slowed down, causing Zhongli to glance at you and notice how your gaze had glued itself on something, a warm smile spreading across your features. His eyes followed yours and soon realized the cause of your moment of happiness.
In the distance he could see Shu, the nurse he had known for years, and accompanying her was another woman, clinging to her arm happily. They were laughing while participating in one of the many activities exclusive to the Lantern Rite. You sighed blissfully.
“I knew she wouldn’t chicken out.” You mumbled, to which Zhongli chuckled slightly as you continued your journey. You hoped they would have a wonderful time together.
To your surprise, Mr. Zhongli took you outside of the city gates and slightly beyond the road that led to them. He took your hand in his and made sure you wouldn’t fall as you ascended to one of the grassy mountains that surrounded the harbor. The higher up you got, the more you realized what his plan was.
“The view from up here is most exquisite.” He said as you both carefully sat down on the grass. “I thought you’d appreciate a more tranquil atmosphere as opposed to the rather hectic one back at the harbor,” he explained as he looked at you.
How considerate, you thought. It certainly did somewhat cross your mind previously. Though you had gotten used to the bubbling harbor in its usual state, during the Lantern Rite it could get a bit loud and crowded, so you certainly weren’t opposed to this arrangement.
“I appreciate that.” You smiled, and he nodded, content and satisfied with his decision. You were rather close to him, which you did not necessarily realize, as it felt strangely natural. All your doubts and nervousness seemed to just melt away with the warmth that encased your being.
Suddenly there was a flash of light in the empty night sky and immediately your eyes shot up. The booming sound that followed made you jump but it was nothing compared to what you saw next.
The skies were filled with beams of bright colors and magnificent shapes. Your eyes took in all you saw, marveling at the sights you had never seen before. The loud sounds fell silent as your mind tried to process everything your eyes saw at once, the shapes, the colors, and the way they lit up the darkness of the night.
With every rocket that burst open in the sky, you were in awe of what it produced. You could not even begin to imagine what you would see next and that was what made it all the more magical.
Next to you, Zhongli could not help but notice just how awestruck you were, how your eyes glimmered and reflected the brightness that adorned the sky. In all his years, he didn’t think he had ever seen such pure adoration and freedom in someone’s expression. It was like your very soul was glowing with the fireworks, regaining its powers with every explosion. Zhongli wished that this would not be the last time he saw you so full of life.
Your eyes were glued to the festive sight as you quietly spoke:
“...Is Lantern Rite always this beautiful?” Your voice was barely audible, the overwhelming feeling of utter amazement making it disappear somewhere. But the attentive man next to you heard your question.
“No two Lantern Rites feel or are the same,” he began, voice the quietest you had ever heard it. You felt a touch on your hand that you were leaning on, and immediately looked at it, and then at him. You opened your palm and he carefully wrapped his fingers around your hand with his glowing eyes on yours.
“But they are always quite beautiful, yes.”
Something shifted in your heart as he finished, as if it skipped a beat but at the same time filled with passion in its rawest form. His words stuck to you. They were for you. He looked at you with such gentle affection, that it almost made him look vulnerable, like he was silently opening his heart to you. Zhongli was a kind man, yes, but during your time of knowing him, he had never looked at you with such… Affection.
The fireworks boomed in the distance but you could only see them as a faraway reflection in those comforting irises that looked so different, they did not feel as familiar as they may have once had. But you felt at ease whilst lost in them. You felt at ease with him.
You squeezed his hand debating on what you should do next. You craved his warmth, the way he looked at you was almost addicting. But you did not know how to react, you did not know were you allowed to react.
Zhongli seemed to notice your uncertainty, and was quick to speak:
“I apologize. Perhaps I was…” He sighed softly. “Too invasive.”
He went to pull his hand away but your grip only tightened, fueled by desperation.
“No. Please don’t. I… I don’t mind.” You did not dare to face him anymore, so your eyes found your knees. It was so confusing, were you ashamed? Scared? Why were you so quick to pull him back towards you?
It may have been fear, to a certain extent. You had not allowed yourself to feel this way in a long time, and after everything you had endured, you completely shut the emotion down. However, now that you were free and presented with an opportunity to feel without restriction, it felt foreign, but also right. You trusted Zhongli, you felt safe in his presence and you yearned for his warm embrace.
You were desperate for the affection that had once been robbed from you, the kind of affection that had been used against you with devastating consequences. They left you scarred and yet, they returned when you stared at the man before you. From the moment he saved you, he has been nothing but a great help, he guided you, gave you strength to fight, and now… You were falling for him. You were falling in love with this man.
“Zhongli.. I… I don’t know what to say, I-” You squeezed his hand again, on the verge of tears. You were sure he knew, the way his gaze softened was far too telling. He knew, maybe he had known for a while. He had always been very perceptive, after all.
“Say nothing, (Name).” He softly spoke and you soon felt his free hand on your cheek. He was careful, at first only barely touching you, but you welcomed it, leaning in and basking in the pleasant feeling in your core.
“Just enjoy the night.”
The way he smiled almost made you melt, that otherworldly aura glowing stronger than ever. He was your savior, a blessing sent by the divines and someone for whom your pained heart swelled and sprung back to life. Looking at him and that gorgeous face of his, you slowly leaned in, allowing him a chance to reject your advances if he so pleased.
He, however, didn’t.
You wrapped your arms around his torso, holding on tightly for a twinge of closeness you did not even know you had been coveting. To somewhat your surprise, Zhongli returned the hug and as soon as you felt his arms around your form, you let out a breath that held the final bits of dread and worry in your body.
Nothing felt real anymore, nothing felt scary anymore. For as long as you remained in his embrace, you were at peace more than ever before.
~
The way back to your home was quiet, but you remained close to him, practically hugging his arm. Some uncertainty still lingered, as you weren’t quite sure how Zhongli himself thought of you. You had already accepted your feelings for him, but would not feel sad if those feelings weren’t returned. He had already saved and helped you tremendously, it would feel selfish to think that on top of that, he’d hold the same feelings of affection towards you.
Yet he wouldn’t hold your hand whilst you walked if he didn’t, right?
The last of the fireworks boomed distantly, and the once busy harbor was quiet as people concluded their celebrations. The warm lanterns illuminated the streets leading to that familiar staircase beautifully and made you wish the night would never end.
“Thank you for tonight.”
His voice was as calm as ever as you stepped up the crimson stairs, but his words pierced your heart. You gave his hand a squeeze, humming and nodding as a response. You didn’t want him to go, not yet. So as you both reached the front door, you were quick to speak:
“Why don’t you… Come in for a minute? For tea?”
The way your proposal came out was less than elegant, but you were glad to see him nod.
“I would love to.”
You were quick, perhaps too quick, to open the door and invite him in, your dress flowing with every movement. He walked in and looked around, surprised to see almost no changes from when he last saw your home all those months ago. Everything was more or less the same, and he surmised that maybe you felt it impolite to make big changes to something that technically did not belong to you.
Zhongli sat down on some cushions that laid on the floor in front of the low table and you immediately began preparing tea, bringing water to a boil under a fire. “I hope you have found your time in Liyue comfortable,” you heard him say.
“I certainly have. It is a wonderful region.” You picked out two porcelain cups and laid them in front of the low table in front of him. “Makes me wonder what the other corners of Teyvat have to offer.”
Zhongli hummed at your words as you poured the steaming hot jasmine tea for the both of you.
“Mondstadt, the City of Freedom lies not too far from here. Ruled by the Anemo Archon Barbatos, Mondstadt is also known as the city of wine and song.” As Zhongli spoke in the manner you were so used to, you sat down next to him, listening curiously.
“If you ever plan to visit, you should try dandelion wine. It is the most famous beverage in the nation.”
The City of Freedom, huh? That certainly sounded promising. He spoke with a fond smile upon his lips that told you that he himself had visited the regions many times. You took a sip of your warm drink.
“Perhaps I’ll visit someday. You certainly made Mondstadt sound like the most intriguing travel destination.”
You both chuckled at your words. The atmosphere was light and warm and you felt an increasing tranquility in your being.
A comfortable silence fell over you as you both enjoyed the most beloved jasmine tea. Ever since the day he invited you for a cup all those months ago, the flavor grew on you, and you found yourself drinking it often. Its supposed symbolism of purity and good luck wasn’t forgotten by you, and you thought about it a lot. Maybe you were attempting to harness some of that good luck whenever you enjoyed it.
In the past, you would have thought such superstitions foolish, however, you couldn’t deny the fortunate things that had happened to you. You doubted it was because of one cup of jasmine tea, but you had been lucky. Unbelievably so.
You turned to Zhongli, the physical manifestation of that luck. Even in your dimly lit home, he was beautiful, like an iridescent crystal in moonlight. When you looked at him, your thoughts were a mess. A mixture of joy, relief, confusion, and even… Adoration. In the midst of it all, however, questions floated.
“I… I don’t think I have ever asked this of you but…” Something came over you and you scooted closer to him on the floor, leaving the comfortable cushion behind. Zhongli tilted his head slightly, waiting for you to continue.
“Why have you helped me so much?”
It was an inquiry that had been in your mind all this time, yet you had never found a proper place and time to bring it up. Now, it felt right, for whatever reason.
He stayed quiet for some time, golden eyes looking down for the briefest moment. It seemed like he had to think of his response, which admittedly felt odd. He pondered for a few more seconds before finally speaking:
“Because it is the right thing to do.” His answer was just about what you were expecting, spoken in a quiet tone. There was something in his eyes, though, something you could not place your finger on. His answer made sense but did not shed any light on why he would go so far out of his way to aid you.
“Saving me from a cold rain I understand. But all of… This,” with your hands and gaze you pointed at the surroundings that were so selflessly given to you by him. “And more, I mean…” You took a breath.
“Why do this for anyone, let alone someone you barely know?”
For a while, you had thought everyone in this cursed world lived for their own selfish needs, but the recent actions of the people around you completely turned that assumption around. However, even if your view of the world wasn’t ruled by selfishness, all that Zhongli did for you was still extensive.
Zhongli was not surprised by your confusion, even he knew that though his help was appreciated, it would only be a matter of time before you questioned his reasonings. You were right, he was not obligated to help anyone to this degree, but he felt like in a way he was because-
“It is my duty.”
His words left you puzzled, unsure what he meant. You tried to dissect his response, but it made little sense. His duty? He was influential in the harbor to some degree, yes, but he was no ruler, it wasn���t his burden to care for the people of Liyue, he was a mere consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral parlor. Right?
Zhongli noticed the confusion his words ignited in you.
“I do not expect you to fully comprehend the reasons behind my actions. But know that aiding others is… a part of me, so to speak. It is a duty that soars beyond the things I do for Director Hu.” 
He looked to be in thought for a few seconds again before he turned to you again.
“You could say it is a personal matter of mine.”
You looked at him, trying your best to listen. It was clear that he was leaving details out, but you wouldn’t press him for any more information. Your confusion hadn’t fully disappeared, but you appreciated the additional insight into how someone like him thought and operated. 
And in the end, it didn’t really matter, for he had already done so much for you.
“I see…”
After a brief moment of silence, you looked at him, eyes shining bright with gratitude. You took one of his hands, a bold move that was partially subconscious, and spoke with a voice full of strength and life.
“Zhongli…”
The way you said his name with such gentleness tickled in his chest and echoed in his ears like a pleasant melody. The grip with which you held his hand was firm, rid of uncertainty and anxiety that once plagued you. There was a flame in your eyes and words of recognition upon your lips.
You had never looked more heavenly.
“Thank you. For everything you have done.”
Something pulled you towards him and soon you held his gloved hand near your chest, your heartfelt words flying into the air with utmost care. 
“For so long, I had nothing. I was nothing. Just a miserable pile of flesh.”
The faded memories of abuse attempted a return, but they vanished as soon as you saw his eyes soften. It was as if with his presence alone, he was shielding you from all that threatened to hurt you.
“But you helped me find myself and my strength. I have never felt so alive before.” You let out a half chuckle out of raw joy, shrugging your shoulders and clutching his hand, all the while he listened intently, not wanting to miss any word that came out of your mouth.
“I… I owe you my life. And I don’t know how I could even begin to repay you…”
Zhongli noticed a stray tear running down your cheek, fueled not by misery, but by faultless bliss that had fully taken over your regrets and worries of the past. Through that single tear, he saw a smile so precious it made him want to always see it adorning your features.
“Truly, Zhongli… Thank you. I don’t think I could ha-”
Your sentence was cut short when you felt his free hand on your cheek for the second time this evening. He wiped the tear you hadn’t even noticed most tenderly, leaving you to look at him as a warmth crawled onto your cheeks. His perfect smile was gentle and comforting. His stunning eyes shined like shards of radiant sunbeams.
“You look so lovely tonight…”
Your teary eyes widened and something in your core twitched. His voice was the quietest you had ever heard it, he sounded almost… Vulnerable. There was anticipation in the air and you swallowed a lump in your throat. Your heart raced, but you leaned forward, fueled by something you hadn’t felt in years.
Desire.
Zhongli noticed your actions and welcomed them, though carefully. Leaning in, he kept his gentle hand on your cheek and allowed you to decide where all of this would lead to, and at what pace.
And it didn’t take long until you felt his lips against yours.
Instantly, it felt like a massive weight was lifted from your body like the last of your troubles just vanished into thin air. His lips were soft, his hand on your cheek felt comforting and Gods, he smelled amazing.
You sighed against his lips, feeling a thrilling tingle in the pit of your stomach. Something in your brain that had laid dormant bounced back to life. It was a passionate desire, lust even and it seemed to spread throughout your body quicker than your brain could process it.
One of your hands found their way into the base of his neck, and the other settled against his chest. You could briefly feel his heartbeat against your hand, and that only seemed to add fuel to the growing flame inside you. You pulled his head closer, deepening the kiss that felt like it was feeding an ancient hunger.
Zhongli held his hand at your waist, gently pulling you closer. Your touch was like fire against him, with each passing moment he felt more and more like he was losing himself to this increasing longing for you. However, if that was what you wished, he didn’t wish to step too far.
Pulling back for a fleeting moment, you looked at him through half-lidded eyes, vision clouded by whatever it was that had taken over. You felt hot, and suddenly, just looking at him was enough to awaken indecent emotions.
It was not mere obscenity that invaded your thoughts. As you looked at him, a smile crept up to your face, and your heart swelled. The way he touched you was most caring and the way he looked at you made you feel warmth unlike any before it. He looked down at you, eyes sparkling with affection, framed by the softest of gazes.
Your fingers trailed his face, that perfectly sculpted jaw, and those soft lips of his. You sighed again, marveling at his being. Once again, he looked ethereal in ways you could not comprehend.
You leaned back while still holding him, silently inviting him to the floor. He followed, looming over you as you lay on the ground. You pulled him in for another kiss, which he did not protest, instead allowing his hand to slide to your hip that he squeezed through your dress, sending shivers down your spine and a noise rose from your throat.
That seemed to awaken him from a lustful trance, as he quickly pulled back. He created some distance and you gave him a puzzled look. His gaze had suddenly shifted into something akin to pressing concern.
“Do you… Want this?” He was slightly out of breath, but the question was necessary, for at this point he was more than certain his suspicions of your past were correct, and so he would not put you through something so abominable again, even by accident.
You froze at his question, seemingly being pulled up from a deep sea of danger. His words floated in your head and made you confused, hazed even.
Did you want this?
For the first time ever, you were truly given a choice. You had been so ready for him mere moments ago because for what had felt like forever, that was all you knew. Your damaged mind automatically accepted that you would share this moment no matter what, and while you were certainly more welcome to it than ever, now that the matter of what you truly wanted was in the air… You were stunned.
You looked at him, and for a second, you thought you saw Childe’s wicked grin flash before your eyes. He had only ever taken you greedily, never once considering your feelings or desires. That’s how it always went, thus you had never even fancied the possibility of it being any other way. The monster had corrupted you and your perception of intimacy, and what it could be.
The man before you was no monster.
Your hand traveled to his cheek and your face melted from uncertainty to adoring determination. The image of your tormentor vanished, and you would never allow him to haunt you again.
“I want you, Zhongli.”
His taut body relaxed, and he seemed almost surprised. But he knew from your expression that there were no ghosts of the past possessing you. It was you who spoke to him, you who desired him, and you, who he yearned for.
Zhongli kissed you again, softly. He removed his gloves and threw them somewhere with little to no care. Your hands rested on the sides of his face, dying to have him as close as possible. The way his hands glided along your still clothed body was most delicate, like he was handling the most fragile being in all of Teyvat.
Through the undeniable bliss that threatened to blind him, Zhongli studied you, making sure he couldn’t see any signs of discomfort or pain. He wanted this as much as you did, but he would put an end to it all if it brought you any form of displeasure.
Slowly you felt his sweet lips on the skin of your neck, each kiss burning passionately and causing sighs and whimpers to escape your mouth. He was being as gentle as one could be yet it was all you needed. It was all you wanted.
Zhongli took your hand gingerly and helped you sit up, and your heart only began to race faster. He wrapped his fingers around the ribbon wrapped around your waist but did nothing more.
“May I?”
His deep voice was quiet, sounding different than usual somehow. You nodded, smiling at him shyly. You appreciated his actions more than you even realized. Though you were nervous to be exposed in front of someone after such a long time, in this moment you wouldn’t have wanted it to be with anyone else.
Zhongli began delicately undoing the ribbon, allowing your robe to flow free in the warm air. He was careful not to tear the thin fabric as he pushed the layers aside, slowly revealing a haven of bare skin.
The expensive dress pooled on the ground around you and you quickly pushed it aside lest it get damaged during what was to come. When you caught his gaze, you witnessed a man immersed in an unadulterated adoration, as if losing himself in a sea of deepest devotion.  
The brunet’s face twisted into the slightest of frowns as his eyes locked onto the faded scars littered throughout your body. Discomfort poked his heart and he found himself tracing one on your shoulder with his finger. A twinge of shame latched itself on you, but you pushed it aside as best you could, for you didn’t wish to ruin this moment of vulnerability with him.
You did not want to hide from him anymore.
Zhongli eyed your body. It had done its best to remove the physical reminders of violence and you did not look any less beautiful to him. It just saddened him to think about the things that you had gone through. Yet you had endured.
“Who did this to you..?”
The way he whispered was almost pained, as if merely seeing the harm done to you broke his heart into pieces. It didn’t surprise you in the slightest, yet you felt something akin to pleasant warmth in your chest at his words. He cared, and worried over your wounds unlike anyone had ever before. It was a feeling you had been robbed of, and though it ailed you to see him like this, you appreciated his deep concern for you.
You had never seen this side of him, the way his golden eyes looked at you, so utterly filled with fondness and affection, it would have felt foreign under any other circumstances. But the pieces fell into place with him, and everything felt right.
You didn’t shy away from him, or hide your being from him. Instead, you placed your hand on his wrist and leaned in, bringing your lips to his. This was no time to mourn the past, all you wanted, was to feel the warmth of his skin and touch.
Zhongli felt your hands on his lavish clothes, the eagerness to see him exposed fueling you as you slowly helped him out of his robes.
You marveled at his perfect skin, his beautiful physique that adorned him and only seemed to enhance his already hypnotizing beauty.
He leaned in, and your back made contact with the floor below you once again. He touched you gently, a hand settling on one of your breasts while his lips journeyed to your neck. His touch was soft and tame, yet it still sent shocks of pleasure through your nerves. 
Closing your eyes, you reveled in the sensations, enjoying the way his lips moved on the surface of your skin, how his hands were dying to explore every inch of you. Your head became heavy, and your hands found his upper back. You pulled him closer, letting out a soft sigh of pure bliss.
Zhongli was not blind to the way you relaxed at his actions, how utterly entranced you became. The way you responded to his every caress delighted and surprised him, but also filled him with profound relief, knowing that he was bringing you such immense joy and contentment. As his hand slowly moved lower, he swore he could detect the faintest trace of a smile playing upon your lips, a silent confirmation that you were experiencing nothing but pleasure.
He kissed you again, a low moan rumbling in his throat that made you twitch. With delicate fingers, he touched the spot that ached for him most, surprised at the amount of slick he felt on his digits. You mewled, already arching your back for him, more than ready for him to slide his fingers into you.
Zhongli pulled back to check on you, only to see an expression so full of lust and affection that it washed all doubt of you not wanting this away. Not only did you look incredibly eager for him, you were also joyful, happy even, and it warmed his heart more than anything had before.
The amount of trust you placed in him to reveal you vulnerabilities like this was a marvel.. Your beautiful eyes looked straight at him, never shying away for even a fleeting moment. In the depths of your gaze, he beheld a strength rarely witnessed in mortal beings, an indomitable spirit that ignited a yearning within him like nothing he'd ever experienced.
Two of his fingers entered you effortlessly, earning him a satisfied mixture of sighs and moans from you. He took in your reaction, it only increased his own arousal. To bring you such pleasures, fueled his desires more than anything ever could.
“Oh… Zhongli…” In your ecstasy, you sang his name like a prayer, desperate to feel more of him. You wrapped your hands around him and pulled him to you once more, all the while his hand worked its magic between your legs.
His touch was measured and deliberate, ensuring your comfort as his eyes watched how your face melted and twisted in pleasure. Your body was on fire and your core tightened with every pump of his skillful fingers. You felt like you were floating in the air, your every sense alert, yet only being able to focus on the sensation of his digits, the sound of his sighs, and the sight of his gorgeous face that was flushed red ever so slightly.
Your insides throbbed against his fingers with every push, so incredibly needy for him. The memory of such intimate pleasure had become a distant memory, suppressed by your own restraint. At that moment, you chided yourself for denying such sensations, for the wave of pure ecstasy that surged through your body, from your core to your very fingertips, was nothing short of addictive.
Zhongli’s attentive gaze looked at you, somehow managing to both look out for any signs of unpleasantness and appreciate your erotic reactions that took the form of those sweet noises from your lips and contorted twitches of your body. He was utterly mesmerized by how you looked and most of all by the fact that this was his doing.
Your unquenchable craving for the man before you was no longer a mystery, it was exposed in all of its obscene glory.
His thumb brushed against a certain sensitive nub that had become swollen with your arousal. The sensation made you twitch, a clear indication for Zhongli to do it again. 
Whilst his two fingers moved in and out of your drenched hole, his thumb gently rubbed circles against your clit, spiraling you further down in ecstasy. Your moans threatened to louden due to the new and overwhelming sensations, and you attempted to suppress them. It was a mere habitual reaction, done without thinking, but it did not go unnoticed by Zhongli.
“Let me hear you, my jewel,” he murmured against the crook of your neck. “Your voice is so heavenly…” He nuzzled against you in an almost animalistic yet comforting way before pressing a plethora of kisses on the surface of your skin.
Your voice flew into the hot air and Zhongli was eager to please you, quickening the pace at which his hand skillfully worked, making you clench around him ever so hungrily.  
“S-so good… Feels so good.” It was nonsensical how good he was making you feel with his mere fingers, how much pleasure coursed through your entire being.
He lifted his head to look at you, and you only melted even more upon seeing the tenderness in his gaze. The contrast was astonishing. His fingers moved in such ways it almost made you feel dirty, and yet, his eyes burned with the most profound care and devotion.
The improper noises that his fingers making contact with your insides fell mute as all you could focus on was him and his eyes, those eyes that watched over you, even now.
With a heaving breath, you whispered his name and brought him closer, clashing your lips with his. Your hands held onto the sides of his head, desperately needing to feel him close as the knot in your core tightened when his fingers reached new depths.
In that moment, your mind was enveloped in a thick, euphoric haze, a dense fog that you surrendered yourself to with abandon. You had been so alone, so drained of any pleasures of intimacy for so long, that you couldn’t reject them now. And the sole reason for this intoxicating bliss was the man before you
Zhongli, Zhongli, Oh, Zhongli, that was all you heard in your head as you kissed him, moaning against his lips like a starving woman. Clenching around his fingers for the final time, you came undone, bucking your hips against his hand and savoring the quivering waves of joyful pleasure that engulfed your being.
It was only then that you retreated from him, breathing heavily and allowing him to witness your flushed expression and half-opened, almost tearful eyes.
“Are you alright?” He whispered, with the utmost softness in his tone. He fixed a stray strand of your hair that had fallen out of place and watched as your wet lips turned upwards into a smile.
“Never better.” You caressed the perfectly soft skin of his face with your thumb, feeling like you were floating and the air around you was as clear as could be. Never had you been so sure of what you felt, never had you been so captivated by someone.
You only coveted him more.
Zhongli noticed the continuous movement of your hips. Your body was desiring him more, even beyond your breathtaking culmination of euphoria.
“Are you sure?” He was of course happy to indulge but was fearful that you were offering yourself for his own pleasure, as you might have done in the past. He only wanted you to enjoy yourself.
You nodded eagerly, more than sure of what you wanted. There was no doubt in your mind. You wanted to feel him, touch him, love him. With pleading eyes you looked at him, and he pressed a kiss on your lips, silently accepting your request.
Carefully, he positioned himself at your entrance, almost at his limit. He couldn’t deny his own arousal, but for the sake of your well-being, he would hold back, and enjoy himself to the fullest. He wanted you, he really did, but would never admit to himself just how happy and relieved he was that you allowed him this moment.
He entered you slowly, and the stretch of him alone was enough to once again pull your head back. Gods, it felt heavenly. Throughout it all, you looked at him, unable to take your eyes off his perfect features. His mouth was slightly opened, eyes half-lidded as he took in your warmth as he slid into you.
Zhongli hissed at the sensation, his head dipping low as he tried to cope with the feeling. It was as if you were made for him, you took him so well, it was unbelievable.
It didn’t take long for him to start moving. The slow, drawn-out thrusts felt ecstatic, blessing him with an array of moans and whimpers from your mouth. He pressed himself against you, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You felt his breath tickling your neck, sending shivers down your spine.
With each thrust, you throbbed against him and tightened around him which only prompted him to give you more and dig himself deeper.
“Hah… Gods, you feel divine.” His hand found your cheek and his eyes bore into yours. He was as tender as he could be, dying to shower you with his affection. His eyes glowed warmly, framed by his eyebrows that were frowned ever so slightly due to these overwhelming sensations.
Your heart skipped a beat every time he moved, every time he touched you, and every time those safe, golden irises stared at you. He embodied everything that made you happy, everything that made you feel secure. All your worries and images of the past disintegrated as he held onto you so earnestly, and loved you so genuinely.
Zhongli showed no signs of fatigue, and only seemed to increase his movements, bringing his lips to yours once more in a multitude of messy kisses. You wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
As they lay there, fully exposed to one another, any invisible walls that once existed between the pair disappeared. There was a connection that only seemed to deepen as you indulged in each other’s less than pure desires.
However, there was no filth in the air, no desperate cries or the destruction of minds. Childe wasn’t there to threaten you, to harm you, to ignore all your protests. No, the image of the man had long disappeared from inside your head. In this moment, you had all but forgotten what he even looked like. Freedom was at your fingertips.
And your liberator was right in front of you.
His lips tenderly brushed over your neck, bestowing gentle kisses upon the faded scars, not claiming you as his own, but liberating you from the clutches of the one who had mistreated you. A silent vow echoed in his actions, a pledge to shield you from harm and safeguard your well-being as long as he drew breath.
You felt him touch the spot that made you see stars. Over and over he prodded at it crashing you with a massive wave of euphoria every time. Your noises grew louder and with it, Zhongli’s arousal reached new heights.
How he loved your voice, your sweet sounds. They were so full of life and emotion and they echoed in his ears like a spell and made him twitch.
When you wrapped your legs around his torso, he almost reached his peak right there. The new angle allowed him to hit your cervix far more effortlessly, making you both drown in each other’s pleasure.
“Zhongli… Oh.. Zhongli…” In the midst of mewls and gasps, you spoke his name. That was all you could say, for he was all you could think about. Your core was on fire, the familiar knot had returned and with every thrust, you clamped around his length more and more. He felt amazing, he made you so full you felt like you were losing your mind.
Zhongli noticed your expression, and how utterly entranced you were, drunk on the bliss he was providing you. The way your face twisted and melted by his actions was addicting and brought him closer to his impending peak.
Desiring to have you as close as possible, Zhongli wrapped his strong arms around you, and when you opened your eyes slightly, for a moment, you swore you could see a change in him. He picked up the pace and when you caught a glimpse of those gorgeous eyes, it almost seemed like they had an animalistic hunger in them.
You didn’t have time to delve any deeper into that as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, lifting you up ever so slightly so he could have you as close as possible. A strained moan ripped itself from your throat as he thrust in and out of you faster and faster, going deeper and deeper until you couldn’t hold in your brewing rapture.
As you came and you steadily pulsated around him, practically milking him, silently begging for him to finish, Zhongli gasped, allowing a most erotic sound to leap from his mouth. He gently took hold of your chin and kissed you in the most wonderful way as you felt him twitch and fully surrender to his undying desire for you.
There was a moment in which you heard nothing but your own heartbeat. Your vision was blurry and as the man who had saved you embraced your form, you let out a breath. And with that single breath, you let go of all doubts, all your demons, all your worries. His warmth enveloped you, and you granted yourself this moment and allowed your raw emotions to run wild.
As Zhongli looked at you, his face quickly twisted in concern as she saw your tearful eyes and quivering lip. He swallowed nervously, immediately wondering if all of this was a mistake. Your expression was distant as if your mind was on an entirely different planet.
Before he had time to speak, your eyes shifted to him, and a content smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. You brought your hand to his cheek, silently assuring him of your newly found peace of mind. You kissed him tenderly, relishing the way he held you and pulled you to him.
There was a moment of silence as he caressed your bare back, wonder floating in his head. He had never felt like this. It was foreign and yet, it felt right.
You sighed against him, wondering how you had gotten so fortunate. You couldn’t help but smile widely, you didn’t remember the last time you felt this alleviated. Gone were the flashes or the dreadful thoughts, now you only felt a warmth in you, accompanied by undying gratefulness.
Zhongli’s expression was more stoic, as he thought about the night he had found you and the previous questions you had. Much of what he saw that night was unknown to you, and so, Zhongli opened his mouth:
“When I found you on that stormy night…”
Your smile fell ever so slightly and you glanced at him but allowed him to continue.
“You were not only unconscious but distressed. Out of it, even.”
Your eyebrows frowned in confusion. The details of that night had become a distant fog of a memory, much like anything else, yet for some reason, what he was saying seemed urgent, and concerning. As far as you knew, you had passed out, not in some state of psychosis. Your stomach churned and Zhongli noted your concerned expression.
“I did not want to worry you, that is why I am only bringing this up now. I… I am sure it’s nothing you should worry about now, but I feel like I have to let you know of this, for your own safety.”
What he was saying didn’t make much sense, but you knew it was out of the goodness of his heart. Still, uncertainty prickled in your side, what did he see that night?
“You were… Frightened, crying frantically and begging for help, yet you seemed to assume no one was coming to your aid.”
Zhongli did not take joy in remembering all of this. The image was haunting, you had been terrified despite not being entirely conscious and he had been unsure what to do. You had thrashed on the ground, curling up into a ball and perhaps most disturbingly-
“There was a name.” He looked at you and you felt a heavy dread in the pit of your stomach. “A name that fell from your lips over and over again…”
He fell silent, taking in your reaction. He did not want to distress you any further but felt a pressing need to tell you all of this.
“You asked me why I have helped you to this degree, and truthfully, I initially stayed by your side tirelessly to ensure that this person you were escaping from, wouldn’t come after you.”
Your eyes widened ever so slightly. So that was the reason. Zhongli was privy to the fact that you had been tormented by someone this entire time. Perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised you and admittedly, his reasoning made sense, so why was your heart racing?
“I apologize for my secrecy, but I did not want to cause you any more stress than you were already in-”
“What was the name?”
You spoke before you could think, and the question flew from your mouth almost unwillingly. You didn’t even know why you would ask that, was it because you had forgotten the name of your twisted lover? That couldn’t be it, could it? Despite most of his wretched face having become nothing but a faded picture, his name still lingered, much to your dismay. The name “Childe” was etched into your brain and yet, something about his name was foggy.
Zhongli’s face turned to you, and you looked right back at him, determination to hear this name obvious in your eyes, though you didn’t know why. Zhongli hesitated, unsure if revealing this name was for the best, seeing as something had clearly been triggered by this information. 
Still, he took a deep breath and as soon as the words left his mouth, your face fell, your stomach turned, and your heart began to race. Suddenly, fragmented memories became whole again as you were once again reminded of a cruel fate you had been forced to endure. 
All of this came back, only because you were reminded of the cruel monster’s name.
“Ajax.”
~
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hello-ello-ello · 6 months
Text
MAGGOTS UNITE!
Movement name: Maggotism
News reporter: @cawdra
Press reports:
Maggot revolution:
Leader: @patoslover
Known revolutionaries: @lxvenderjewel @garnetgoose0-0 @ivory--raven
Lawsuit:
Lawsuit establisher: @howmanyholesinswisscheese
Case helper: @an-ace-on-the-case
Lawsuit endorser: @eybefioro
Devil's advocate cum Court Fool: @samlikeslawnchairs (SUCK IT SAM'S MIDDLE SCHOOL COUNSELLOR)
Maggot union:
Motto: WE ALL DESERVE AN HONEST MAGGOT'S DAY'S WAGES FOR AN HONEST MAGGOT'S DAY'S WORK
President: @sounds-void-fishy
President's emotional support cat: @apollos-dodgeball-target
Secretary: @dandelionchaos
Union notes:
Official Song: Unioning is hungry work (sung to the tune of Hozier's take me to church)
Official Bard: @koboldkatalyst
Official logo: FISHFLOPS
Tumblr media
Songstress and Gartic phone rep: @lxvenderjewel
Snacks committee: @ivory--raven (head), @just-a-bloody-bagel
Official Diplomat: @random-doctor-on-the-internet
Official Cheshire Cat: @voids-ideas
Official bagel: @just-a-bloody-bagel
Other Instigators, insurrectionists, revolutionaries, union members, bewildered witnesses and general chaos-maggots: @queermarzipan @thearoacemess, @goodomensduh @soleilpirate @prettycottagequeer @the-beard-of-edward-teach @empressumbreon @harbinger-of-existential-dread @im-sorry--what , @robinprinceofchaos et. al. (make yourself known if you should be in the list, or if you want a different role, this is a living document)
Union Demands:
1. Snacks (we now have @just-a-bloody-bagel and Eccles cakes from mod @orpiknight)
2. Asmi takes proper care of himself so Tommy can scarper
3. Francois be the mascot of our discord server something something (we don't want to displace Dissapointment)
4. Infinite Hugs (and chocolate malt milkshakes)
5. Ability to speak (void and moot now lockdown is over)
6. Financial compensation (still needs figuring out: @garnetgoose0-0 and @arkytiorlecter bring up valid logistical points )
7. Bragging rights
8. Maggot summer camp
9. Granddyke for president of the galaxy 2024
10. MORE CATS!
EDITED AT SOME O'CLOCK IN SOME TIMEZONE
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transmutationisms · 1 year
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i have a handful of anonymous asks in my inbox right now asking about harm reduction as applied to eating disorders that their loved ones are experiencing. i'm not answering these individually, both because it would get repetitive and because i don't know your loved ones and can't give them personal advice, but i did want to say a few general things on this topic.
the basic principles of harm reduction are the same in regards to EDs as anything else. the point here is not to force a person to stop doing something dangerous (this is impossible) or even to pressure them to stop (this also doesn't work, and will often have the effect of making you into a person they don't feel safe around and can't turn to for help, thus actually decreasing their access to support and resources). instead, the goal of harm reduction generally is to give people the knowledge and resources they need to engage in risky behaviours as safely as possible. the reasons people do things that are physically or socially harmful to them vary, obviously, but in general these behaviours are serving some purpose in the person's life, like providing emotional 'blunting' they need to deal with otherwise intolerable circumstances, or meeting a physical need for specific substances. harm reduction meets people where they are, beginning with the premise that they deserve basic respect, dignity, and self-determination, whether or not they continue to engage in behaviours that may be endangering them.
some baseline harm reduction strategies for EDs could include:
take necessary safety precautions if (over)exercise is a feature of the disorder, or if you are at risk for fainting; ideally, have someone around (or reachable by phone) who can help in case of injury
do your best to compensate for any micronutrient deficiencies resulting from food restriction; dietary supplementation may be necessary
know if any substances/pharmaceuticals you may use (recreationally or not) can affect you more strongly, faster, or more dangerously on an empty stomach; here, harm reduction for EDs will overlap with harm reduction for drug use
know the signs of electrolyte imbalance and resultant cardiac events, particularly in EDs involving purging by laxative use or self-induced vomiting; keep a stockpile of items like sports drinks/gels that can rapidly replenish electrolytes; know where to seek emergency medical treatment and how to recognise when it may be vitally necessary
monitor long-term health risks, like bone density loss, tooth enamel damage, hyperglycaemia (in cases of diabulimia), &c. note that both this step and the above require finding medical practitioners who will treat patients non-judgmentally and without threat of institutionalisation
....and so forth.
harm reduction plans are highly individualised: they depend on the person's own goals and desires. a harm reduction plan might include strategies for engaging in ED behaviours less frequently or intensely, and may even include a long-term goal of recovery. however, harm reduction has not 'failed' if the person doesn't want to, or can't, reduce frequency or severity of behaviours right now or ever. ED harm reduction that does include goals for reducing behaviours, without necessarily trying to eliminate them entirely, might include strategies like:
purge less frequently; avoid or reduce flushing and chew/spit
reduce food restriction by raising calorie limits, not counting calories at all, eating certain 'fear foods', &c
identify triggers for restriction, binging/purging, &c; try to avoid those triggers (& possibly enlist assistance doing this)
ask someone trusted to eat with you if this would help you, for example, become more comfortable with eating non-restrictively, and turn eating into a social connection rather than a stressful event
consume a sufficient amount of food regularly and consistently <- this is the bedrock of all recovery work
again, though, the particular strategies in a person's harm reduction plan will depend on what they want to implement and are capable of doing right now. a person who's not ready for any step that asks them to engage in fewer behaviours, or to engage in behaviours less frequently, can still benefit from a harm reduction approach if they're interested. this is a conversation that should always be approached non-judgmentally and with the understanding that any harm reduction plan depends on the person's own capacities and goals. harm reduction is not about telling someone else what would be 'best' for them in an 'ideal' world. it's about meeting them where they are right now.
something important to note about EDs is that efforts to restrict food and food groups and to shrink body size are considered extremely common and 'normal' in much of the contemporary popular culture, and are frequently encouraged and prescribed by medical practitioners. this means that even when you are worried about someone with a self-endangering ED, there is often a considerable risk that, in trying to help them, you might still be promoting or acceding to the same fatphobic logic that can fuel the ED. if you, for instance, think that pursuing intentional weight loss is generally benign or healthy; if you have ideas about what size a person's body 'should' be based on things like actuarial charts; if you think that some foods are universally 'bad' and need to be restricted or eliminated; if you think that food should be 'earned' or compensated for by physical activity—stop, do not pass go, and do not try to dispense any kind of advice, harm reduction or otherwise, to someone struggling with an ED. you are not capable of being a resource here unless and until you are committed to a politics of fat liberation, disability rights, mad liberation, and anti-racism. you are not reducing harm if you are contributing to further entrenching the cultural beliefs and economic mechanisms of fatphobia and body fascism that the ED itself thrives on.
(**i am not saying that all EDs start or end with the desire to be thin as articulated through white supremacist body ideals, but it is a very common feature at this moment in history, and having these ideas reinforced, including through the lens of medical fatphobia, can certainly contribute to or worsen already-present behaviours and thought patterns where EDs are concerned.)
harm reduction also means giving a person the knowledge they need to evaluate their own goals and needs. in regards to EDs specifically, lots of public health communication is confounded by industry-funded diet and 'obesity' research that prescribes food restriction, compensatory exercise, and other recognisably 'eating disordered' behaviours, especially to fat people. many people with EDs, and their loved ones, may not even realise how many misconceptions they have learned about body size, nutrition, and the health risks of EDs. some basic places to start learning about these things from a weight-neutral / fat-liberationist angle that i would suggest include: christy harrison's podcast 'food psych' (her book is also decent but treads a lot of the same ground); gwyneth olwyn's work; lindo bacon and lucy aphramor's papers on 'health at every size'; jennifer gaudiani's book 'sick enough', which is a good starter resource on the medical effects of EDs. note that none of these resources are working within an explicitly harm reductionist framework, and imo make some missteps in this arena! but they still contain insights and information that can be useful to those who are interested in harm reduction, and to those with EDs generally.
harm reduction can be a tool to recovery, or a step on that road; it can also be an alternative for people who are not ready to seek recovery, and who may never be ready. the reality is that you cannot force someone to stop engaging in behaviours they rely on to live, whether drug use, EDs, or anything else. harm reduction proceeds from this place and from a fundamental commitment to respect for people who are generally already suffering. when approaching a loved one, you may or may not be able to initiate a conversation in which you express, eg, that you are worried about them hurting themselves, and would like to offer whatever emotional or material resources you can to help. but you have to go into any such interaction understanding that they may very well already know all of the risks of what they're doing, and may have other reasons they can't or don't want to stop. if you're trying to impose your will on them---by force, pressure, or coercion---you're not doing harm reduction, and you're most likely alienating them and turning yourself into a person they don't feel safe around where these behaviours are concerned.
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kiirotoao · 7 months
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HEYY YOUR SO PRETTY BTW AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG
the ask :
so, i wanted to get ur opinion on s3 mike. such as, what he was going through and his internalized homophobia. things like that!
maybe some things w/ him and his relationship w/ el too!
THANKS FOR ANSWERING IF U DO ANSWER :D
I’m gonna pretend that I’m fine after weeks of getting flustered just staring at this in my inbox! Thank you, anon!!! 🥺🥺 You’re making me blush! But, uh, anyways! Let’s talk about Mike Wheeler! 💙
I think that Mike in season 3 is the most interesting version of himself in the entire show because of how hidden his story becomes. In all other seasons, Mike cries openly with other people and expresses his sadness and fears over Will and El.
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In season 3, though? Besides the finale, the tearful goodbyes narrated by Hopper, we never see Mike truly cry and explicitly talk through why. Sure, it can be pretty readily implied that it’s because of the Byers leaving, but we don’t hear that aloud. We don’t see exactly who’s on Mike’s mind as those cars pull away. We're left with silent and unsure stares, looks of seeming regret or something else unknown.
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Season 3 is truly a huge turning point for Mike, he’s losing his girlfriend and arguably his closest friend in the Party, and it's so easily overlooked because it all happens at the very end of the final episode. Whereas El goes through hell and fights to connect to Billy and save her friends, where Max also feels the weight of his loss, where Will gets his heartbreaking scene at Castle Byers - all the Party members who are very linked to Mike get their emotional moments that season, and we know exactly why they cry.
But Mike dances around his emotions all season long. In consulting Lucas to deal with breaking up and making up with El, in trying to tell El that he loves her without ever saying it, in fighting with Will because "it's not [his] fault [Will doesn't] like girls."
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Oh, Mike. I really don't think that Mike was out to hurt Will when he said that. Rather, it's a culmination of heteronormativity and the poor relationship that he has with El and trying to compensate for it. I interpret the outburst as him saying, 'it's not my fault that I'm in a relationship and you're not, so you wouldn't get it.' And by extension, Will being in a relationship would require, normatively, being with a girl.
But at the same time, for a jab that deep - I can't help but question more.
Mike could have said, "it's not my fault you don't like anyone!" or "don't bring her into this!" or even as simple as, "you wouldn't understand!" But no. Mike takes the direct train to sexuality station and brings up the fact that El is a girl. So it seems to me that Mike is very likely harboring something in his heart about why El being a girl is important for him to argue.
But we never know for sure. This moment is never addressed again due to the Mind Flayer’s sudden return. And so it’s up to us as the audience to decide what we think of Mike’s statement. And personally, as I’m sure many of you believe, too, I think that Mike is projecting and trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t like girls onto Will, pushing away his problems to someone he trusts who’s more similar to himself than he realizes.
Tied to his inability to say to El’s face that he loves her, to the fact that they've - reportedly from Hopper - kissed all Summer long with no mention of meaningful conversation, to the very surface-level relational mending his makes by calling El’s outfit “cool” and giving her candy, to the very end of the season where Mike once again denies saying that he loved El just before an open-eyed kiss and a face like this:
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Mike doesn’t need to say anything about that kiss for me to know that that’s not the reaction of someone who’s perfectly happy to be back together with his ex-girlfriend. So do I wish that we had a moment of vulnerability for Mike where he expressed his heart in season 3? Yes, but his nonverbals spoke volumes.
So, yeah, I think that in season 3, Mike is very much gay, but he he acts cautiously and self-preservingly because trauma is drowning everything out.
And what is this trauma? I know that I’m working backwards, but I need to bring up that Mike was separated from El for so long in the time of season 2, and I think that that makes him so attached to her in season 3. Think about what else he says in that scene when he admits his love: “I love her and I can’t lose her again.”
As sweet as it is to be reunited to El by the end of season 2, it’s not a clean reunion for Mike. He’s in shambles when he learns that Hopper was lying to him and not letting El even tell Mike that she’s okay.
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Not to mention that this isn’t his first but second time almost losing her to the monster that season.
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Because of this unstable connection, I think that Mike has built a protective relationship with El, one that focuses on keeping her rather than knowing her, and we see how that all unfolds with his superficial “superhero” complex he has of her in season 4. Season 3 was just the beginning.
And so I think that Mike in season 3 stands as a version of himself that’s confused protectiveness with love. Even though he arguably behaves with that same mindset all the time, it’s at its highest during season 3 because of his never-ending insistence to help El even if she’s capable to do things by herself. Mike isn’t just clingy, he’s worried. Worried for her life. There’s no time to worry about where the problems in their relationship arise, there’s only time to fix them and go back to how they were at equilibrium - when things were normal.
Thus, Mike behaves rather stubbornly. He’s insistent and defensive, not letting a single thing slip through the cracks and risk any more hurt. In doing so, his personality is left far under the surface and unexplored. He only acts to stir up emotions rather than reflect on them, because any pausing to think will only confuse him more. He’s looking ahead, looking at the light, holding onto everything good he has with all the propriety of a 13/14-year-old who has a heart bigger than his head.
Simply put, Mike is a bit of an anti-hero this season. And I think that it's because of this that he starts to get most controversial for the audience.
I’m clearly a Mike apologist, but I genuinely don’t think that he’s out to hurt anyone when he argues with others this season. He’s just stubborn and loud about it, which can definitely be to his fault at times. But in the end, when it comes down to who he loves, I think that season 3 is the era of change, and that ending scene with Hopper’s letter paints the perfect setup for the next seasons to reveal that Mike has a lot more going on under the surface that’s causing all of this. Maybe some regrets, things he wishes he could “turn back the clock” on, regarding, say, Will and El and how he treats them platonically and romantically? Just a thought.
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The question of the day for Mike in season 3 stands: is he being selfish or selfless? And I think that it’s a mix of both, blended in with some heavy confusion due to role changing (not needing to protect El) and uncertain affections (not knowing how to figure out what he has with Will).
So, yeah. All in all, I think that Mike is really closeted in season 3 and doesn’t realize it until the final episode, and I honestly love him for it. As someone who’s gone through similar hurdles of internalized homophobia as a teen, it’s really heartwarming to see him grow and figure things out, even if the journey is far from perfect. It’s a humble origin story. And if he somehow ends up being straight and Byler isn’t endgame, well. I’ll be upset at the writers, but the impact still stands.
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Slides in for cursed Ultramarine facts.
Blue is an extremely difficult colour to manufacture for the purposes of colouring ceramite, particularly in the Imperium, where access to naturally occurring pigments is increasingly limited due to the poor state of most planetary ecosystems.
This is, as you might imagine, a problem when your entire chapter and a basically all of your successor chapters wear blue armour, and require that blue armour to be maintained and rebuilt and recoloured due to frequent battle damage. Even with Guilliman pulling political strings to get Ultramar preferential access to shipments and sources of blue dye, there are often long stretches of time where repaired or newly refurbished pieces of armour will be coloured a default metallic grey. This is wholly unavoidable due to the way the Imperium has operated, and continues to operate.
With one exception.
Very rarely, a migratory species of warp entity will embark on a crossing through Ultramar. It is impossible to predict when this will happen, and no one is wholly sure why, but every so often one of Guilliman's worlds will be party to a migration of small, butterfly-like creatures. They are a rich, ethereal blue, winging fairly close to the ground and leaving soft sapphire light trails in their wake. Many thousands of them move through at a time, appearing seemingly from nowhere and fading gently away less than ten minutes later. They are not known to be harmful in any way, and actually evoke powerful feelings of joy and wonder (directed at the creatures). This is suspected to be a defense mechanism to compensate for how fragile and eye-catching they are.
They are so fragile, in fact, that any kind of mildly forceful physical contact will cause them to burst apart in a shower of dust and viscera the same shade as their forms.
Unfortunately, this mixture seeps into metals and fabrics extremely well, colouring them blue at a molecular level permanently.
However, because they are not creatures of the physical world, and present for such a little time, striking them with weapons or attempting to use containment devices on them will fail, and they will simply phase through the contacting item or energy field. A direct blow from a being with a soul, however, will effectively slay them, though the emotional distress caused by destroying something that brings such joy is considerable.
Regardless, blue pigment is low, and time is short, so a migration of blue butterflies on any of Ultramar's planets is always accompanied by frantic droves of fully armoured marines careening through the glittering flight, sobbing, weeping openly as they smear the folorn remains of countless dead insects all over their armour. The feedback of sorrow at so many of their deaths is such that some marines will start screaming brokenly, the sounds mingling horribly as dozens of vox beads convey shared horror at such brutality.
They know what has to be done, however, and so the marines continue to rub pulped up butterflies into their pauldrons even as their helmets fill with tears.
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cityzenshark · 2 months
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Executive Assistant Jon Schloder of G.H.O.S.T Witwicky Prison | Firsts to Grow Up - Earthspark AU
When Warden Croft is called in by GHOST HQ, Jon Schloder takes the chance to investigate her true intentions towards the prison base she had volunteered to watch over.
He notices strange injuries on captive Decepticons whenever Croft takes them out of isolation. Schloder doesn't tolerate prisoner abuse, alien war criminal or no. He trusts his men that they wouldn't let their personal feelings interfering their duties. He doubts Croft does the same.
As her half-brother, Schloder feels hurt.
As the executive assistant, he steels his emotions. He cannot allow her to keep him in the dark anymore. Should anything happen to the prison, the residents of Witwicky will be the first victims. Schloder must not let that happen.
Another thing he strongly disagrees on is Croft's manipulative tactics to forcefully recruit veterans into GHOST.
Upon being informed of Dorothy's situation, Schloder went to visit her outpost. He compensates her the best he can. He promised her that she is Park Ranger Malto first and foremost, and a GHOST agent last. She is only required to report any possible Cybertronian activity to base and leave a GHOST team to handle the rest. He will have teams to scout near her farm's vicinity to ensure that she and her family are safe.
Though ensured that her park ranger job isn't entirely a lie, Dot's fear outgrows it.
A prison holding Cybertronian prisoners are in Witwicky, and her new home is close to it.
The Terrans aren't safe. Her children aren't safe.
Dorothy feels as if she had brought the war to her family.
.
.
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