#Emil Scherbe

[hiyutekivigil]

Sehen Sie mich! Sehen Sie mich! Das Monstrum in meinem Selbst ist so groß geworden!

“Obluda, Kierá Nemá Své Jméno” (The Nameless Monster) by Emil Scherbe (Franz Bonaparta) from Naoki Urasawa's “Monster”.

[kahixxi]

[ella390-the-potato]

Inktober - Day 26 - Dark Munch munch, Chomp chomp, Gobble gobble, Gulp. One of the monsters from those dark children's picture books from Naoki Urasawa's Monster. While writing, I never realised how difficult it is to purposely write messily.

[randomnotesofmyown]

Urasawa’s Monster (33-34)

Episode 33 - a child's view (Or, something worst than death)

A rainy day. A man reading a newspaper while waiting for a tram. And in the reported news were children fell to their death from rooftops, one case after another.

Dr. Reichwein had a session with one of those kids, a boy. But that boy refused to tell the counselor what happened. The boy's mother became so emotionally unstable that the Dr. Reichwein suggested to accompany her for a walk for some fresh air. Dieter, waiting outside the ward, was told not to go in. But despite that instruction, Dieter went in and talked with the boy, who identified himself as Martin.

Despite suffering head injury and with a broken limp, Martin got out of bed and left the hospital, Dieter followed him. The two walked through the streets, and on a whim, Martin walked straight across the road, with utter disregard of the traffic and his own safety.

In a park, Martin deliberately tripped an old man, who lost his balance and fell on all fours. Martin then used his crane to poke hard at the man's head for fun.

Martin got fed up with the old man, so he moved on. Martin, walking on a few steps ahead on Dieter, spoke of a game of chicken he played with another child. 

And he dragged Dieter up to a rooftop, and made Dieter stand on the edge with him. Martin told Dieter to stand up and try walking with eyes closed. Dieter, remained sitting, started talking about the food he loved, his hobby, and the people that mattered to him. Martin's facial expression changed:  

And, overcome with fear, Martin fell off the building. Dieter grabbed him just in time.

Cut to Johan. A boy recounted the things that happened when he played that game of chicken with Joachim. And...

Cut to Mr. Schubert. The tycoon decided to donate his private book collection to the library of the University of Munich.

The University Librarian showed Karl and Johan around the library and talked about the optimal conditions for the books, the preparations for the coming ceremony. Johan was not as interested in those talks as Karl.

He walked off to the upper level of the library, talked to a librarian who was shelving books. Johan said he wanted to find a picture book for his friend. And that library staffer tried to pull a book from the top shelf, and several books fell off it. Johan picked up one of the book, stared at it intently. 

And this scene lasted for three seconds.

Johan's hands, and his lips were shaking, as if he was about to have a seizure.

And there were sounds of drum which got louder as the shaking intensified. The staffer's question "what's wrong?" was unanswered.

Johan, with his mouth wide opened, and tears in his eyes, started screaming. Then he fainted.

Some time later, Dr. Temma entered the university library, again saying to himself that he would carry out the mission.

End of episode 33

Episode 34 - Edge of darkness (Or, there was no other way)

Johan, discharged from the hospital, received a letter from Red Hindenburg.

And Johan went to the place specified.

The hooker did 99% of the talking, with Johan very quietly seated across the room.

Johan said he'd quit and turned and left. The hooker called her lover to come out. The lover pointed a gun at her head. Turned out the lover was Roberto. Johan closed the door behind him.

Sound of a gun shot.

At an underground clinic filled with patients, Dr. Temma walked into the operation room and found a young woman in the middle of a surgery. He guided her through it. Surgery completed, and the "doctor" fainted from working 48 hours straight.

When she woke up, Dr. Temma was tending to a boy. He asked about her age, the reply: 17. And she talked about her father, a doctor who got killed by Neo-Nazis.

Entered a woman who got shot in the stomach. The girl said she did not have the skills. But Dr. Temma insisted they should do whatever they could.

Dr. Temma again guided the girl through an operation.

After the operation, Dr. Temma finally got the chance to explain his purpose of being at the clinic: to ask about the details of the death of "Red Hindenberg".

The unlicensed doctor recounted the feeling she had when she arrived at the scene. For the first time despite have seen many other such cases, it appeared to her not as a robbery case, there was no hatred. She was simply killed.

Dr. Temma clenched his fists as he spoke "Johan".

Before he left the clinic, Dr. Temma encouraged the young "doctor" to study.

The young girl ran after Dr. Temma and asked if he would come to her clinic again.

He turned around, said nothing, and then continued his walk.

End of episode 34

Comment: 

For episode 33 Johan taught the children he spent time with to play a game of chicken on rooftops. And he showed no feelings when one of those children told him about how another child died. A man who cared so little about the lives of unrelated others, who was always collected up to this moment, was for some reasons shaking so violently, so overcome with fear and perhaps sadness as well when he read that picture book by Emil Scherbe that he fainted. A guess would be that the picture book made Johan remember some suppressed memories, something so horrible that he could not bear it. Dr. Temma was not certain that he could carry out that mission, and he resorted to remind himself to the necessity of doing it every now and then. The louder he talked, the less likely he would manage to do it.

For episode 34 Dr. Temma was shown as a doctor who would cling onto the hope of saving someone's life, and yet with every death that was related to Johan, he blamed himself more for saving the monster's life. And he became so determined that the only way to make things right was for him to kill that person. A self-assigned mission that was anathema to him in every possible way. 

[freenic]

Obluda, Která Nemá Své Jméno (The Nameless Monster)

by Emil Scherbe

Once upon a time, there lived a nameless monster. The monster was dying to have a name so badly. So the monster decided to set out on a journey to find itself a name. But the world was such a large place. So the monster split into two and went on to two separate journeys. One went to the East and the other went to the west.

The monster that went to the east found a village. There was a blacksmith at the village entrance. “Mr.Blacksmith, please give me your name” said the monster. “I can’t give you my name” replied the blacksmith. “If you give me your name I will jump inside you and make you stronger in return.” said the monster. “Really? I’ll give you my name if you can make me stronger.”, the blacksmith told the monster. The monster jumped inside the blacksmith. The monster became Otto the blacksmith. Otto the blacksmith was the strongest man in the village.

But one day he said: “Look at me! Look at me!” “The monster inside of me has grown this big!” *Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp* The hungry monster ate Otto from the inside out. The monster then went back to become a monster without a name.

Even though he jumped inside Hans the shoemaker…. *Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp* He went back to being a monster without a name again.

Even though he jumped inside Thomas the hunter….. *Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp* He still went back to being a monster without a name.

The monster then went to a castle to find a wonderful name. Inside the castle, there was a very sick boy. “I’ll make you stronger if you give me your name” said the monster In reply, the boy told him “I’ll give you my name if you can cure my illness and make me stronger.” So the monster jumped inside the boy. The boy became very healthy.

The King was delighted. “The prince is well! The prince is well!” said the King. The monster became fond of the boy’s name. He also grew fond of his life inside the castle. That’s why he endured even when he became hungry. Every day, even when his stomach became very empty, he endured.

But then he became so hungry…. “Look at me! Look at me!” said the boy. “The monster inside of me has grown this big!” The boy then ate his father, servants, and everyone. *Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp*

Because everyone was gone…. The boy left on a journey He walked and walked for days….. One day the boy met the monster that went west “I have a name” said the boy. “It’s a wonderful name.”

And then the monster that went west said… “I don’t need a name.” “I’m happy even if I don’t have a name.” “Because we’re monsters without names”

The boy ate the monster that went west. Even though he now had a name…. There was no one left to call him by his name.

[zalphies]

The Nameless Monster By Emil Scherbe

[tri-star-angle]

(The following is purely imaginary just to demonstrate the things that can come out of one's head, so it is an exercise in the way thoughts can flow.  If you're looking for some wisdom it's probably here, but if you're looking for factual things, it is likely something I tend to be missing.  I will try to add less speculative, more factual based analyses sometime in the future.  Anyway, the following is inspired by "Monster" as is everything else on this blog.)

"I suppose we're like a pendulum swinging back and forth between extremes and non-extremes in and out of things like hopes, dreams, and visions, and things like anxiety, anger, fear, and delusions.  However, why must it be this way? Why do we need to move back and forth like pendulums in our minds?

What happens if we manage to finally break a nasty habit? How did it come to develop in the first place exactly? It's like the issue almost never existed at all.  If we are able to truly stop things before they happen or even as they happen, won't it mean we are breaking through something big? Something has to collapse or break apart, so won't things have to bend itself over backwards if this happens to the change the course of things?

No one really know what is what inside of you, if nothing appears to be truly wrong, but why does an individual consistently do this or that or why do we do anything at all? Why is there often something that is painful that is attributed to your very core? It is like you supposedly work like clockwork somehow inside even though you can't really see this usually.  What if something is truly wrong or dysfunctional can't one then correlate this dysfunction to wherever the problem must lie?

Moving a stone up a river, then dropping it back down a river, fluvial processes over and over--is the only way to stop it to break or rid yourself of the cycle, maybe? But then what is the meaning of this motion that is a big part of something called life? Why does it often not bend to our own will in every way, shape, or form literally? Why can we drink but not quench our thirst, and why can we eat but not satisfy our hunger sometimes? Is it because we are trying to fire the wrong synapses?

Why do we follow this motion that has long been set whatever it is, and how do we gain strength to continue going wherever we're going? Does having a consistent swinging motion like a pendulum inside our heads make it difficult for us to mess with something we aren't supposed to tamper with? Does it help prevent some kind of computational error? Is it an inner compass type of device? Does somehow using this device keep us intact? So, are we all ideally supposed to start out with inherently good, balanced, and normal internal swinging devices, then, if this is so?

Then how do we lose our way, how do things change, or differentiate? How do things not rip itself apart when our potential to misfire anything or create mishap is so great...would this single misfire or mishap destroy everything we have built up? Is life simply a build up or storing of energy? Is it the swinging back and forth between extremes that both endangers us and saves us at the same time?

Can things discharge itself, dismantle itself, or throw itself off haphazardly to the degree that imbalance easily occurs so often that it's happening to you and me right now? Can everything really come down to whether we are able to make it alive through something as vaguely understood as chance or a set of possibilities?

Just how far can people bend before they break? Just how far can the pendulum swing before it is flung violently and erratically? What sense of order must we try to obtain that can contain such things in its proper magnitude? My mind is racing, and the questions I have only keep growing and growing.                                         

Is stopping not an easy option because once things are set in motion, it is likely your action(s) to stop something means very little unless you expend everything you have? Is it possible you must expend your very life to achieve stopping something completely? What happens if everything around you is devastated and you are the only one left alive? What is capable of stopping this terrible form of annihilating course of motion, then?

"

M: "This is why you must not become monsters because you will most likely be doomed to break as violently and erratically as possible."



F: "You are a hypocrite because of you my children will never live normal, happy lives, regardless."



M: "That may be true, but you were the one who consumed me.  It was you who drove me to break everything I had created."



F: "You're insane..."



M: "Only because you said, "My children will have revenge on you" that I did this for their sake, but I am aware this won't be enough. 

Unfortunately, there was no lesser evil choice I could make.  I grant you permission to continuously hate me if you so choose.  There is no greater punishment, meanwhile, for me to withdraw from whence I came to live in isolation and solitude. 

Do you perhaps know my real name? Well, I suppose that doesn't matter now."