#Elain can't feel ashamed of people's behavior

[separatist-apologist]

None of the Archeron sisters are real and therefore have no opinions on any discourse surrounding them hope this is helpful

[nikethestatue]

I'm thinking of leaving this fandom too. Honestly, I truly loved and enjoyed meeting fellow Elriels. One of the kindest and brilliant people I've met online. I've been in this fandom for years now, even before acosf came out. But I can't deal with the general acotar fandom now, and sadly, no matter how much I loved all the Elriel/Feysand contents, and friends here, it's not enough anymore.

I didn't signed up for this. I didn't signed up for the constant bullying, name calling, slut shaming, misogyny, victim blaming, pitting women against each other and etc., I didn't know the fandom will turn out like this, like a true hell for someone who only wanted a break from real life. I'd like to blame acosf because most of the misogynistic take started after it was released.

I didn't signed up for all the dumb takes. Honestly now? I felt SO ashamed of being part of this fandom. I was friends with someone on the other fandom when some people from acotar fandom started making fun of the characters from the other fandom and they started comparing unprovoked. It was so embarrassing that even though I am not mutuals with those people, I still ended up telling my friend I'm not in this fandom anymore.

I didn't signed up for idiocracy or delusions. No, all the takes that gets crazier everyday? No matter how much I convinced myself that it was funny and time will come when they'll be proven wrong and would leave this fandom (because most of them hate what sjm writes/loves. They hate Feysand, they hate the IC, they hate everyone but the two characters) it's not working anymore. It felt like "wow, really, I'm in the same fandom of people who actually think (or better yet not using their minds over a simple fun series) like this?" I hate to be categorized with these people.

I didn't signed up to lowkey get called stupid because apparently I don't have a degree on literature, fashion, or whatever. I hate how I saw a woman in this fandom dragging women down because they have "big job and helps to fight misogyny, what are you doing? I'm above you." when she's the most misogynistic person everyone ever met.

The arguments are repetitive, most posts are the same or just being aggressive. I'm actually just staying on tumblr for the fanfics and theories now but like what I said, the negative side of this fandom wins, and it's so so toxic for me.

Acotar fandom are full of misogynistic people (not all, but most) and they are even proud of it. You will see it on every tiktok, Instagram, Reddit, fb and Twitter posts (especially if it's about Feyre, Elain, Mor, N&C), you'd see the horrible comments against women characters and downplay their nasty behavior as "its just fiction" well yes, but considering how they act like this? What more in real life?

You can't have a decent argument here or have the chance to clear your name because the next thing you know everyone will post you on their Instagram Stories or blog with all their thousands of followers to see and they'll proceed to shun out an entire group.

Oh let me say that even acotar Reddit isn't a safe space for everyone. Not unless you stan Tamlin, Lucien, Eris or Azriel. There are people from Facebook who also infiltrates the elriel group and made fun of us on the comments. This fandom is a shitshow.

And yes, since I'm already in this, I hate how someone would literally badmouth elriels to ARTISTS. Who'd tell horrible things to the point where artists refuse to take comms or draws the ship. I was so baffled when I learned this from a friend. Like really? How petty can people be in this fandom?

It never felt safe anymore. And our feelings? Invalid. Only some group of people in this fandom has a say.

It's like suddenly after acosf, we're suddenly invaded by 5 years old who thinks being a gIrlboSs is cute.

And sadly maybe this is like my goodbye letter to this fandom. (Not to Feysand & Elriel, but I'll just connect when acotar 5 is released) It was such a great ride at first, but suddenly became cancer.

I don't have the heart to actually post this on my blog. I stopped answering anons because I'm slowly distancing myself.

I hope to have another pre acosf days, or better days where acotar readers doesn't compare traumas, wanted a woman character to suffer/punished, doesn't put value on women based on their womb, people who thinks they are above everyone and have to hate on female characters in general.

Ps: when acotar 5 drops, I'll never ever think twice on visiting acotar fandom again (but would never say bye to my friends)

I honestly admire you and the other OGs for staying here for so long. I know what you all went through silently in this fandom, and I admire the strength and class on how you all handled it.

That's all, thanks for reading this. (I'll surely miss sending you anon asks about acotar stuffs lol, I love your response everytime)

Oh Anon. Yes. To all of this.

It's a sad anon, not gonna like, it was hard to read it, because it's so very true.

It's been eye-opening, being in this fandom, as someone who kind of older and been around the block a few times. I thought that something's changed. That women talking about women's changed. That women thinking about women's changed. That we've been fighting the same battles. That we were kind of past appearances, hobbies, inclinations, abilities, and we were going to be accepting and kind towards other women. Nope. Not so much.

That's been the most shocking thing for me to witness in these past few years. The intense cruelty that women are willing to subject other women to...over a book. Over a character. It's weird. And if you are not in it, you wouldn't actually believe it. But it's true.

I think it's the anonymity of online existence that allows people to be like that. Or maybe it's like the Salem Witch trials--young girls being cruel to others only to be heard. Accusing and acting out for attention. Maybe things haven't changed all that much.

I will stay because I have to see this thing through. I think the next ACOTAR book will be announced sooner than we think.

But after it's done, after Elain's book is done, I'll be off faster than a prom dress.

(if you feel comfortable, tell me who you are, so if I don't see you, I know you left)

Hugs. Be in a place that's good for you and your soul and your psyche.

[acourtofthought]

What are your thoughts on Azriel as a character and a love interest (if he gets his own book)?

I feel kinda bad for him, but he’s also giving me Joe Goldberg vibes atm 😭

I've always loved the slightly psychotic hero with a moral code.

That's why we ended up naming our 11 year old dog Dexter (from the show Dexter) 😂

Az is pretty dark but is on the side of the good guys. He throws himself into every dangerous situation so he can be the hero yet doesn't mind sitting there carving people up. He knows when to be polite based on his observations of the people around him (remember, he probably had no idea how to behave until he was about 11 when he met Rhys and Cassian, he had no parent teach him socially appropriate behaviors).

What's fun about the crazy anti-hero is those guys often feel "above" relationships (which is why it's entertaining to see a woman finally bring them to their knees). That's not the case for Az though and something I'm not enjoying. He definitely gives off Joe Goldberg vibes with Mor and the fact that we've never seen emotional growth from him in the way of his acknowledging his past with her but instead started a fixation on Elain (simply transferring those past feelings) is problematic. As a result of all that, it's a bit painful to be in his head. Sure, his POV could be considered sexy if there was any proof that he actually liked Elain as an individual (he has never said a single thing that makes her special to him). But everything is "it's so wrong" and "I'm a horrible being" and "I'm tainted" and "this is my dirty secret". It's all very "woe is me" and "no one will ever love me" compared to say, Nesta and Cassian's Bonus Chapter where he couldn't stop talking about how Nesta was making him feel because of who Nesta was as an individual. Az spends no time thinking of how Elain as a person makes him feel and spends his time thinking of how he's a bad man who hates himself 🤦

He's a bit creepy at the moment. Which is why I feel so much better about him when he's around Gwyn. Their interactions completely remove the heaviness and it feels healthy. No, they're not romantically interested in one another just yet but I'd much rather a hopeful start than him being a year into his obsession with Elain and being a complete drag 😂

I honestly hope that when Gwynriel happens, he learns to embrace his darkness. I feel like he's so ashamed of himself that he hides behind formalities and socially appropriate behavior because he thinks that's how people want him to behave. That's why when he explodes or acts out, some readers say, "where did this come from?!" To me, he's always that person but he tries so hard to keep himself on simmer that he eventually loses control. Rhys is unapologetically himself and I'd like to see more of that from Az.

But I imagine when Gwyn and Az are around each other, they'll constantly be challenging and trying to best one another. They'll have their soft moments for sure but I can't imagine their go to love language won't be playful battles.