#Egypquotes

[egypquotes]

Thoth: there's a "lie" in believe

Hathor: there's a "over" in lover

Seshat: there's a "end" in friend

Anubis: there's a "Fun" in funeral

[egypquotes]

Sadie: someone wil die.....

Anubis: About 100,000 people die every day

Walt: Of fun?

[egypquotes]

Thoth: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Nut: Awww, thanks-

Thoth: That’s not a good thing.

Nut: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

[egypquotes]

Horus : the pantheon always accuses me of having a favourite but that’s not true.

Horus : I love Carter and all the not-carters equally.

[egypquotes]

Anubis: Where did you get that tomato soup? I want too.

Thoth, drinking: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved

Anubis:

Anúbis: ... What?

Thoth: I microwaved. You know? The new human thing we have in the kitchen? Don't make stupid questions Anubis, don't fits with you.

[egypquotes]

Nephthys: Daddy, can you pass me the salt?

Gebe and Osiris: of course

Gebe: wait what-

Isis: WHAT

Osíris: I can explain I swear

Seth, crying with laughter: OH I cant believe this just happend!

Seth:

Seth, realizing that Nephthys is his wife: wait what

[egypquotes]

Hathor : Do you take constructive criticism?

Anubis: No, only cash or credit.

[egypquotes]

Osiris: It's funny how you and Seth get along. Didn't he hate you at first?

Sekhmet: Seth hates everyone at first. It's his way of reaching people

[egypquotes]

Hiiii, I've been seeing your content for a while now, and I think it's great, could you tell me the headcanons you have of the Egyptian gods,especially from Taweret, I love reading them😈

*pull up a chair* oh boy, this is gonna be long. How much time do you have?

Just to let you know, I don't responsabilize myself for how many hcs I have here but im so happy you asked it

Ok, this is a little long and I have more. Press at your own risk

• Osiris and Isis raised Anubis from a baby because Nephthys was afraid to raise him near Seth. Seth was extremely sad about this separation, but refused to ask for his son because of his proud

• Ironically, as the years passed, he became closer to Seth than to Nephthys and still had the good education his uncle and aunt gave him.

• Horus and Serket married after he took the throne and had Hapi, but they never saw each other as a couple and they became good friends over the years. When Horus asked for a divorce to marry Hathor, Serket was happy to help prepare the wedding

• Tawaret and Thoth love to bet on the gender of the pharaohs' babies, the two have been tied for centuries

• Shu loves crafts and sometimes makes small souvenirs by hand for others. He says they are from Tefnut.

• Ra has a perfect memory and yet he still gets his children's names wrong

• Anubis is the kind of guy who just gets tired and leaves a place. Sometimes he does this during conversations and never brings up that again.

• Tawaret and Bes are very close and they often help travelers with small children together, especially if a woman in the group is pregnant. This brought them very close and he always makes her laugh a lot with his jokes.

• Hathor cries at romance movies and likes to randomly quote her favorite scenes. But she is really into mystery series and will give huge speeches about them.

• Heka never ceases to be amazed by humanity's medical advances. Yes, he already knew the cure for this disease, but isn't it amazing that they discovered it too?!

• Thoth loves the color purple and light blue, his outfits are always in this palette.

• Anput started wearing her hair in braids after seeing some foreign women wearing them. She looks stunning

• Osíris is the kind of father who would send a good morning message with flowers and a loud audio in the family group

• Isis and Tawaret are good friends. Tawaret helped her during her pregnancy with Horus, and Isis is extremely grateful for everything. They go out for tea and gossip about the pantheon.

• Hapi and Imseti are very close and are partners in crime. If you see them both running in any direction, go the other way.

• On the other hand, Ihy and Kebechet are a very well-behaved and calm duo. Despite being two children, literally, they are both very easy-going and spend much more time talking than being chaotic

• Horus and Anubis get along very well and see each other as brothers, but neither of them will admit it. Anubis is Horus' right-hand man and always helps him make decisions for the pantheon.

• Khnum sometimes makes personalized statues of the gods he doesn't like and then crushes them. It's therapeutic.

• Tefnut and Nephthys are very sensitive, sometimes they meet and talk about their feelings to make it easier to deal with them.

• Seth and Isis are a great duo, but they can't stand being around each other for too long.

• Nefertem, Sekhmet, and Ptah are a good family and are very close. Even when Ptah and Sekhmet are having a hard time due to their different personalities, they still put Nefertem first and appear at social events together. It's a little chaotic at times, but he makes her smile in a way no one else can.

• Duamutef has an appreciation for music and has learned to play all different types of instruments.

• Ma'at rarely appears to the pantheon, too focused on her work in the Duat to maintain order and peace. She appears once every few millennia, so she and Thoth always go on cute dates and enjoy the few hours they have together. This time apart has never affected either of them, as Thoth is also very busy, and they are a very much in love couple.

• Bastet is definitely a daddy's girl and loves to rub it in her siblings' faces.

• Khonshu has a collection of pictures of the gods falling/making weird faces for fun

• Anubis and Anput are very affectionate and they will stop appearing at some pantheon event to simply be together.

• Qebui likes to race with gods from another pantheon, like Hermes, and the results are between acceptable and chaotic.

• Heka and Apollo are friends and sometimes hang out together.

• Wadjet has caused at least three fights among the pantheon by accidentally saying something too loud.

• Nekhbet is the type of person who doesn't like you and say it on your face

• Heqet is a very sweet and kind goddess, but she is also very gossipy and loves to know all the news of the pantheon.

• Seth, Sekhmet and Sobek are a chaotic and rude trio, but they trust each other a lot. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be against their team

• Nefertem and Seshat are very intelligent and calm gods, but they have -1 IQ when they are together and even laugh in the wind. Osiris don't let them sit together during meetings because they kept disturbing Horus with their laughter.

• Nut is a complicated goddess at times. She is a good mother and grandmother but loves a bit of chaos so her reaction is unpredictable sometimes

• Gebe, on the other hand, is really firmer in his principles. It's easy to know how he will react to certain things and generally the gods feel comfortable talking to him. When Gebe gets angry, which is very rare, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions happen

• Kebechet is attached to Anubis and learned everything from him, which she is very proud of. Physically, she looks a lot like Anput.

• Khonshu and Ihy really like each other. Sometimes Ihy sneaks out of his parents' house to show Khonshu her new songs. Khonshu travels a lot, but he always brings back a souvenir for Ihy.

• Bes is a great cook and listener. Unintentionally, he became a therapist to several gods because of this.

• Ptah and Khnum sometimes get together to create their sculptures together, but they don't talk much. It's a nice, peaceful silence

• Naunet has a terrible fashion sense and no one has the courage to tell her that

• Bastet is great at gymnastics and likes to use artistic moves during combat. She confuses Seth with this, especially when they are in the middle of a battle.

• Nu can appear in a physical form and interact with other gods, he just chooses not to do so because he is too lazy to interact socially and does not want to get involved in the frequent chaos of the pantheon.

[egypquotes]

Hathor, cooking: Welcome back, honey! Do you bought the eggs I asked?

Horus: even better!

Hathor, turning to look: wh-

Horus, holding a chicken: her name is Sunny!

[egypquotes]

Thoth: Hey babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Ma'at: Yes?

Thoth: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Ma'at: Fuck.

Thoth: It's gonna be a fun week!

Ma'at: I'm going to Bastet's house.

Thoth: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker

[egypquotes]

Sekhmet: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

Ptah: I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Seth can fight in that dress either.

Seth: Maybe not. But I would be a radiant bride.

[egypquotes]

Anubis: Why does Isis always do the laundry so loudly?

Horus : So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house

Isis, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

[egypquotes]

Ra, about Seth: He's just a playful and very silly guy, I don't understand this anger towards him. So I decided to adopt him as my protégé. Don't you like murder and scams? A dictatorship isn't good for you? Grow up! Me and my guy decided this is funny now!

[egypquotes]

Bastet: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

[egypquotes]

Shu: It’s just… no matter what I do, no one wants to be friends with me.

Wadjet : Yeah I literally can’t relate to that problem at all, but you know who NO ONE likes? HEY HAPI~

Hapi: First of all, how dare you—