#EatPoopYouCat

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28B: Our arms sparkled like the stars in the cloudless sky as we gently swept our arms through the warm water of the bioluminescent bay.

Meg: Our arms sparkled like the stars in the cloudless sky as we gently swept our arms through the warm water of the bioluminescent bay.

Audrey:

Jonathan: Symmetrical shelled serpents slithered sparklingly in the somber southern sea.

McKay:

darksparkle: While the human world had its vexed eye on the Greenland transaction, six sparkling spotted sea serpents slithered towards undefended Antarctica.

Rashid:

Fraggle: As the Americans and Russians focused on the scramble for Greenland, the glitter glow worms moved swiftly toward Antarctica, where the penguins were scrambling to respond to an economic crisis.

Matte:

Dan: The penguins floated on their little iceberg, burning stacks of money for warmth - and largely ignoring the giant television that floated behind them, beaming patriotic images of Greenland flanked by resolute seagulls. What use was such feel-good propaganda to them, against the swarm of mutant lamprey that pursued them wherever their icy home drifted?

Heather:

Briana: Those seagulls in Greenland invested wisely— sure climate change was making the edges of their island greener, but the center was still all ice cold— meanwhile the foolish penguin cult was burning money as their iceberg melted into the vicious seas, filled with murderous seals.

The Dude:

[mistfunk]

Mistigram: another #TelephonePictionary round of #EatPoopYouCat just wrapped on the Mistfunk Discord server, starting with a Janelle Monae lyrical fragment, working its way down to Cthulu's description "we are all in the simulation, toiling our entire lives crunching numbers to answer a question the full nature of we could never imagine", followed by this illustration by @littlebitspace, then a follow-up description by @otnooishphoo reading "Intel has begin developing ways to tap into Jung's Collective unconsciousness as a math co-processor for their next line of CPUs." You can see the entire game via https://ift.tt/3jO5gqz or join the Mistfunk Discord to play along! https://instagr.am/p/CTfpWhhB3yu/

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28G: Aaauuuuugh, yelled the kookaburra, seeing the capybara's hand. He lost everything, thanks to a pair of twos.

McKay: Aaauuuuugh, yelled the kookaburra, seeing the capybara's hand. He lost everything, thanks to a pair of twos.

Dan:

Jonathan: Even though Capy looked nothing like him, Kooka seemed to think the similarity of their surnames meant they were related… so his demand to play cards with her was reasonable? Somehow? And then he inevitably made a big fuss when he lost -- like today, when he'd thought a single pair beat a straight flush.

Meg:

Fraggle: The Australian peacock spider’s plumage was brilliant as it handed the chips over to the ordinary pig, who, having won fair and square, had great plans to improve himself with the prize money when he got home to Argentina.

Audrey:

Briana: A classic case of missed signals— while Ted, the peacock jumping spider, was only trying to signal his attraction and interest to Polly, the plump pig, at the sports bar, it only reminded her of her mortal enemies from team Argentina.. ooh and made her so mad.

Rashid:

Heather: Decked out in yellow and green at the sports bar for the Brazil/Argentina Women’s World Cup match, Peppa Pig screamed in shock that there was a spider rooting for Argentina.

The Dude:

Matte: futbol pig (a staunch brazil supporter) was shocked to find out her eight legged friend friend at her local watering hole was supporting argentina in the world cup!

darksparkle:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28E: It's the famous New York City subway, but made entirely of paper mache, so it must be art.

Audrey: It's the famous New York City subway, but made entirely of paper mache, so it must be art.

Matte:

Meg: Beavis the artist surveyed his model train creation, with its cute little station and long flights of stairs, and declared his creation good.

Rashid:

The Dude: Beavis cackled as he kneeled in front of his model train set, taped his favorite doll's butt to the train engine, placed a fuse in the buttcrack, and then lit the fuse on fire. "I don't need TP for my bunghole if I can just light it on fire!," he cried.

Jonathan:

darksparkle: Heh heh, heh heh heh heh heh heh heh Beavis snickered as he taped a phallic firework to Butthead’s doll, which lay prone and strapped to his toy locomotive, waiting for Butthead to open the door.

Fraggle:

Briana: Beevis chuckled as he watched the model train about to fall into oblivion.. the damsel in distress tied to one of the cars had a dick shaped missile atop her, compounding her impending doom Buthead and an evil clown watched like pervs through the high glass windows of the closed door.

McKay:

Dan: "Yes!" laughed Beavis as he watched the model train start to run off the table. So eager was he to see the demise of the second car, with the fireworks strapped to the Barbie doll, that he didn't notice Butthead and a clown watching him from safely behind a closed door across the room.

Heather:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28D: The Electric Monk hardly knew what to believe anymore.

Matte: The Electric Monk hardly knew what to believe anymore.

Briana:

McKay: The lobster-armed friar spiraled about all the possibilities for his future: marriage, storms, dead bees, naked war, the crash of the free market, and maybe even meeting the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Heather:

Fraggle: The lobsterman prophesied a spiral of doom for humanity: battered by natural disasters and economic collapse, corrupted by the insidious spread of gay marriage, pastafarianism and vegans who make exceptions for honey, decimated by the Nudist Wars of the 22nd century, only 300 souls would survive to rebuild.

darksparkle:

Dan: With a calm smile on his face, the bearded lobster told me an incredible and tragic tale of a once-happy land: how natural disasters crashed the economy, leading to gay weddings, veganism and Pastafarianism... and ultimately to war, death and misery.

Audrey:

Rashid: "Gather around and let me tell you the tale," recollected the bearded sea-creature, "the tale of how gnarly ocean waves and deep base waves encouraged hot gay love for pasta, but at the cost of sending all colorful foods to their graves."

The Dude:

Meg: The octopus told the story of the once fertile sea. It yielded a bumper crop of penises that produced macaroni and cheese and a wide variety of produce, but recently all of the produce had died, long to be mourned.

Jonathan:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28H: Perhaps in my parental sleepwalk, I'm turning into a fascist technocrat

The Dude: Perhaps in my parental sleepwalk, I'm turning into a fascist technocrat

Fraggle:

Jonathan:

What the cat did right then made really annoyed -- He went and abandoned me, alone in the void! With only a small onyx idol to hold Then my red baseball cap? Off my head, it he pulled!

Dan:

Heather: Jeremy was alone in space, with just his tiki head clutched in his hands, until a cat came and snatched up his cap, opened a portal to a sunny day, and disappeared, to the anger of Jeremy.

Matte:

darksparkle: The little prince sat despondently, immune to the cosmic ballet playing out above his desolate planet, as his fickle friend Coyote trotted off to the portal to sunny Earth, the prince’s favourite barbie pink gimp mask in his jaws.

Audrey:

McKay: Swiper the fox stole the little prince's mask and fired himself off back to earth.

Meg:

Briana: The Little Prince covered his eyes in horror as he watched the bandit fox launch himself from a cannon from the little planet towards Earth— not only was he escaping, but he had stolen the prince’s mask.

Rashid:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28F: The micro-surgeons found the troublesome thought in the patient's brain, but it had MANIFESTED.

Rashid: The micro-surgeons found the troublesome thought in the patient's brain, but it had MANIFESTED.

Jonathan:

Meg: Simms and Jones thought that they were prepared for all contigencies while performing open-brain surgery on the giant, but when 4 dimensional objects started spewing forth they had to throw up their hands.

McKay:

Briana: The Lilliputian surgeons threw their gloved hands up in glee as finally, their full craniotomy released the multi-colored inscribed geometry that was endangering the giant— he would likely make a full recovery now.

Heather:

The Dude: The surgeons rejoiced -- after cracking the patient's skull open to reveal his brain, rank, rainbow-colored fumes rose out of his cranium and brought with them the vile memories of his 8th grade geometry class.

Matte:

Audrey: As they approached the operating table, Dr Frankenstein and his monster nurse did the YMCA, excited to conduct brain surgery on their favorite, frequent patient: a geometry teacher who had operations so often, his head had a zipper ready to open on it.

Dan:

darksparkle: Reverend SurfBro Zack shouted hallelujah at the nerdcore scene before him, as Pythagoras’s 56th generation descendant sat calmly, staring vacantly ahead as Frankenstein approached to access his modified brain via his handy skull zip.

Fraggle:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#28L: The morning sun sparkled through the trees onto the placid waters, with only a distant mechanical hum and a wafting unsettling aroma giving a suggestion of the activity taking place below the shining surface.

Fraggle: The morning sun sparkled through the trees onto the placid waters, with only a distant mechanical hum and a wafting unsettling aroma giving a suggestion of the activity taking place below the shining surface.

Rashid:

McKay: Susan, the cattail monster, sang a low tone to her bored, smoking husband in the pond.

The Dude:

darksparkle: Catrina Cattail chortled and sang smugly as Steve floated by, roots trailing, finally unmoored by his daily massive spliff habit.

Jonathan:

Briana: By the banks of Boob Mountain Lake, those cattails did sing and smoke grass til they flew away.

Heather:

Dan: Around the pond, at the foot of the Great Purple Boob Mountains, the cattails sang the song of their people... except for a few of them who just smoked blunts and enjoyed the groove.

Meg:

Matte: the california raisins were on a dream vacation in the Purled Lagoon, near the purple Mountains of Mammary, but a few of them couldn’t resist setting up an impromptu beachside concert, while others just enjoyed sitting in their cabana chairs and eating cotton candy.

Audrey:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27N: "Wonder is the heaviest element on the periodic table, even a tiny fleck of it stops time."

Briana: Wonder is the heaviest element on the periodic table, even a tiny fleck of it stops time.

Jonathan:

DarkSparkle: Time and gravity submitted to the pulsing fuchsia force of an entirely unknown actinide, allowing it to persist for what felt like eons as Dr Nelson extracted its perfectly cubical mass from a haywire hourglass with tightly gripped forceps.

Caitlin:

Aaron: As the meteor rocketed toward earth, Dr. Tank Stumpford had mere moments to extract enough cubes of stankonium from the Apocalyptic Hourglass to power the spacecraft that would carry humanity's last remnant to safety.

Matte:

Audrey: Dr. Frankenstein sighed. Today was the day he was going to send humans to space! But somehow, something was missing; the ennui was setting in and it just wasn't the experience he had dreamt of. He shoveled his poison crystals into the rocket anyhow and looked up just in time to notice a meteor coming through the window, interrupting his thoughts.

Rashid:

Irene: At the control center nestled in the heart of the shining city, the King of Science fired the nuclear-waste-powered death ray straight at Earth.

Dan:

The Dude: The Burger King was so hell-bent on having it his way that he activated the force field around his planet, pointed his atomic laser beam across the solar system, and flame broiled planet earth until it was charred like a thick, crusty, dried-out meatball.

Sly:

Heather: Unrelenting in his pursuit for making more flame-broiled Whoppers, the Burger King zapped the planet earth with a ray gun from his flying hamburger, turning the earth into a large meatball.

Meg:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27M: Mira was menaced by a purple tentacle monster. She bravely grabbed one of its tentacles to break it, and to her surprise it broke off in her hand! She threw the tentacle down the stairs, broke off the rest, and cried, “You won’t see again!” Mira ran down the stairs toward the door and saw her enemy Carma drawing a portal in the air. “You won’t get away from me!” she cried and picked up another tentacle and drew her own portal. Mira and Carma stepped through their respective portals, just in time, as a yellow monster was respawning behind them. The portal led to a busy street where all the cars were being driven by monsters! But a limo pulled up, driven by Mira’s Mom, who whisked her away to the highest tower in the city. Mira climbed the stairs, and when she arrived at the top, panting, there was another yellow monster! But instead of the monster attacking Mira, it came to see if she was okay. “Don’t you get tired of people being afraid of you?” “Yes, I do. It’s so sad that no one wants to be nice to me. They just don’t understand! That dangerous purple thing isn’t even a monster like us… it’s an alien. And there’s more coming….”

Meg: Mira was menaced by a purple tentacle monster. She bravely grabbed one of its tentacles to break it, and to her surprise it broke off in her hand! She threw the tentacle down the stairs, broke off the rest, and cried, “You won’t see again!” Mira ran down the stairs toward the door and saw her enemy Carma drawing a portal in the air. “You won’t get away from me!” she cried and picked up another tentacle and drew her own portal. Mira and Carma stepped through their respective portals, just in time, as a yellow monster was respawning behind them. The portal led to a busy street where all the cars were being driven by monsters! But a limo pulled up, driven by Mira’s Mom, who whisked her away to the highest tower in the city. Mira climbed the stairs, and when she arrived at the top, panting, there was another yellow monster! But instead of the monster attacking Mira, it came to see if she was okay. “Don’t you get tired of people being afraid of you?” “Yes, I do. It’s so sad that no one wants to be nice to me. They just don’t understand! That dangerous purple thing isn’t even a monster like us… it’s an alien. And there’s more coming….”

Briana:

Jonathan: "Once you're all the way upstairs, that's when I need you to pretend to scare me. If you do a good enough job that Tad is fooled -- and it shouldn't be hard for you, I mean, you're a giant purple ghost -- I will (sigh) ask you to marry me."

DarkSparkle:

Caitlin: Jill lured Death inside the apartment with candy, hoping to escape its clutches, but Jack saw what Jill couldn’t see: When Death shows up, there is no path back - because Death destroys everything in its wake with its bouncing purple tail.

Aaron:

Matte: startled to see the grim reaper approaching her in the doorway, cindy lou who attempted to fend him off by holding out her lollipop, but unbeknownst to her, under the robe it was actually Barney the purple dinosaur and his long tail was out of control, knocking over everything in the house to the dismay of her brother.

Audrey:

Rashid: The childish therapist tried to cure her patient, by forcing him to face his fear of eggs bringing back dead dinosaurs.

Irene:

Dan: Dr Pilcher paused her note taking as her agitated patient ranted incoherently. In all her years as a psychotherapist, this was her first time encountering paranoid delusions of being pursued by newly hatched dinosaurs.

Sly:

Heather: While her client, Robert, told about his dreams of baby dinosaurs attacking him, Dr. Molly nervously wrote down her notes.

The Dude:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27L: "It’s like Forest Bathing, but in an eggplant garden, tended to by silent gnomes."

Heather: It’s like Forest Bathing, but in an eggplant garden, tended to by silent gnomes.

Meg:

Briana: Eggplants — variegated, Japanese, long and thin, squat and round, clumped in groups of 2 or 3 or all alone—eggplants in every color of eggplant there is.. John pondered them all, as he silently lay still amongst them, and he noticed the gnomes didn’t talk and didn’t sing as they watered their precious plants.

Jonathan:

DarkSparkle: Tom froze, his afternoon reverie tucked among the rows of variegated eggplants evaporating, as two dead-eyed gnomes came into sight watering the turgid fruits. His only hope was to blend in.

Caitlin:

Aaron: It felt like a dream; little Samuel stood stock still, pantsless, praying feverishly that the coal-eyed gnomes wouldn't discover him among the eggplants they were watering.

Matte:

Audrey: Bill and Ted remained stoic, but behind those expressionless bearded faces, their souls were dark. It was SO MUCH WORK being a giant garden gnome during the growing season! Bill kept watch with his trident while Ted watered the eggplants and humanplants.

Rashid:

Irene: Bill and Ted appraised their work, looming over the freshly watered soil, satisfied that no one would find the bodies buried beneath the eggplant garden.

Dan:

The Dude: Evil Bill and Ted hatched a totally bogus plan -- after pushing Good Bill and Ted off a cliff and killing them, they buried their bodies in their garden to fertilize their new crop of eggplants. "Excellent!," cried Evil Bill. "I'm totally going to text the princesses now to tell them they're eating eggplant for dinner tonight, if you know what I mean!" "Totally evil!," cried Evil Ted.

Sly:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27K: "Well, Mouse was a total stress case, Lion ignored everyone all night -- NO ONE liked the Giraffes, they just spent the whole night just talking over everyone's heads -- but I had a BLAST," answered Bunny.

Sly: "Well, Mouse was a total stress case, Lion ignored everyone all night -- NO ONE liked the Giraffes, they just spent the whole night just talking over everyone's heads -- but I had a BLAST," answered Bunny.

Heather:

Meg: When the bunny heard that the two giraffes had taken a liking to each other, she immediately imagined herself marrying the tall, spotted lovers. The anxious mouse would serve as ring bearer. Secretly, the rabbit hoped that her lauded position would make the lion’s tale turn red with rage.

Briana:

Jonathan: Geoffrey and Georgina were obviously a perfect match but too shy to ever admit it. If Pikachu were to publicly convince them to go on a date, Leo would be so impressed he'd make Pikachu some sort of advisor. Advisor to the king of the veldt? Hell yeah.

DarkSparkle:

Caitlin: Out of all the cats at the sci-fi convention, Pickachu reminded Simba of Rafiki the most.

Aaron:

Matte: a cub may one day become a lion, but an electrified mouse will never transform into a cat; this was the lesson which allowed a prince to remember the prophecy of his birthright and ascend to the throne of Comic-Con.

Audrey:

Rashid: The monarch of an overrated fantasy-property sits in their blood-red and wicked throne room, but regrets having put all of their level-up points into being cute rather than into being ferocious.

Irene:

Dan: The Hamster King sat on his gilded throne, staring blankly ahead, unable to suppress a stream of tears as he pondered a horrible truth that none of his subjects must ever know.

The Dude:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27J: "I really hate how itchy this wool sweater is. I wish someone would knit me one made out of pig intestines instead."

The Dude: I really hate how itchy this wool sweater is. I wish someone would knit me one made out of pig intestines instead.

Sly:

Heather: Ugh, I can’t believe that Daryl! He’d totally be the kind of guy who would pray to be able to make a jacket out of pig intestine to replace my raggy sweater.

Meg:

Briana: Steven, the brilliant porcine mastermind, was laser focused on rooting around for the code in a pile of red, stringy plasma being unleashed by Tod, the smartly dressed but none too bright human.. he just knew he could solve the riddle and save Steve, sitting nearby, bound and worried.

Jonathan:

DarkSparkle: Percy Pig anxiously examined the flaming mystery pizza that Wallace, disguised as Mr Peanut, had leashed and dragged home from the food trade show, hoping finally here was a substance that would make their hostage emit…the truth.

Caitlin:

Aaron: Mr. Peanut's pig assistant sweated like... a pig -- would the nutty mad scientist manage to train his pet slice of pepperoni pizza to climb into the tube and assemble a sandwich from the ingredients on the table?

Matte:

Audrey: As the pizza flew towards the tube, Dr. Stevie the pig sweated with anxiety. After all these years, were her science experiments with Mr Peanut to develop self-delivering pizza finally going to pay off?

Rashid:

Irene: Professor Piggy and Mr. Peanut were flummoxed by a malfunction in the Pizza Tube.

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27I: "One fateful day, Sutro Tower came to life and stalked down the hill to attack the Golden Gate Bridge - just as the newspaper writer had foretold."

Dan: One fateful day, Sutro Tower came to life and stalked down the hill to attack the Golden Gate Bridge - just as the newspaper writer had foretold.

The Dude:

Sly: The prophetic playwright wrote descriptively of the terrible terrorist attack on the Bay Bridge -- that newsworthy day when an angry pylon greatly intimidated another -- and now we only have to wait until our hero finishes his story to know why oh why.

Heather:

Meg: As more residents of Staten Island commute by car every year, the Verrazano Bridge began to think too much of itself, so that every day it berated the terrified Staten Island Ferry as it crossed the water.

Briana:

Jonathan: Scuffy watched sadly as the cars drove onto the Brooklyn Bridge. He'd seen it all before: folks thinking they were going to the Towers of Hanoi, despite the bridge itself being very clear that it leads to Brooklyn, a land of flies and powerful car kisses.

DarkSparkle:

Caitlin: The commuter imagined a world where he and his golden retriever could follow the open country road toward the future, but alas he was headed toward stinky New Jersey and his dog would have to stay behind.

Aaron:

Matte: in his dreams it had been so perfect (a road trip with his dog, a cool fedora perched on his head, on their way to new york together) but Reed had to admit he had not foreseen the sudden bout of motion sickness which would leave them both stranded on the NJ turnpike, looking forlornly at each other.

Audrey:

Rashid: The bearded, young man with a green fedora would love to continue his road-trip with his yellow/brown dog, but unfortunately they had crashed into a bush where the streets have no name.

Irene:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27H: The girl did not know what to do, and began to weep - and just then, a tiny little man stepped in and asked, "What will you give me if I spin this straw into gold for you?"

Irene: The girl did not know what to do, and began to weep - and just then, a tiny little man stepped in and asked, "What will you give me if I spin this straw into gold for you?"

Dan:

The Dude: This little leprechaun is looking at me all like, "Hey babe, you know who you can trust? This guy!! Put that hay into that spinny thing and all your problems are going to disappear!" But I just cannot stop thinking: where the fuck is all the gold supposed to come from?!! It's seriously driving me into a state of despair.

Sly:

Heather: Rumpelstiltskin, the leprechaun, had promised to use his pot to spin hay into gold, but the spiders in the pot didn’t know how to spin anything but spiky things.

Meg:

Briana: Sean, the angry leprechaun, exclaimed with greed “I can’t wait for all those gold coins I will be producing from putting all that hay in my magic crucible!”, but little did he know that inside the kettle, spiders were spawning instead, and boy were they angry and confused.

Jonathan:

DarkSparkle: “HOW MANY TIMES have you been told??!” bellowed Rumplestiltskin. “if you let the fire die, only possessed arachnids will emerge from my Alchematic-Pro, not gold”

Caitlin:

Aaron: Santa's head elf looked on in horror: the machine he'd designed to transport Santa directly from his workshop to fireplaces across the world was full of bugs, and there were gold ingots all over the floor.

Matte:

Audrey: Uh oh! Santa Clause went down a chimney to an old furnace full of spiders instead of a fireplace by mistake! He was trapped, but luckily one of his angry tall elves was nearby to open the door and help him with the scattered gifts.

Rashid:

[heckyeaheatpoopyoucat]

#27G: "For the remainder of our lives, we regretted having ignored the earthworms that one day."

Rashid: For the remainder of our lives, we regretted having ignored the earthworms that one day.

Irene:

Dan: The old woman sobbed, her face in her hands. All her precious memories, her ideas, her dreams were gone - all replaced by worms, endless worms, crawling over each other through the dirt.

The Dude:

Sly: I am having an existential thought, and it is, "When I'm an old woman, will I be eaten by worms??"

Heather:

Meg: We were all supportive when my eco-conscious grandma enrolled in her nursing home’s vermiculture body disposal program, but when a giant worm showed up for dinner with cutlery and a bib she suddenly realized that she had mistakenly chosen the express option.

Briana:

Jonathan: It seems like only a week ago that Paul McCartney found the dessicated corpse of Bibendum under a tree. Little did he know that what he'd actually found was the next stage in a metamorphosis, and now the Worm is here to eat and give out stars... and he's all out of stars.

DarkSparkle:

Caitlin: I thought the mummy was dead, but it was astral projecting into a fuzzy neon sandworm!

Aaron:

Matte: shaggy discovered who was really behind the secret of the mummy’s curse…it was an ancient earthworm lying deep within the mind of the mummified pharaoh, inside the secret tomb of his pyramid.

Audrey: