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total-drama-takes-takes-2 · 1 year ago

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ttwt episode 10

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: The teens you’ve grown to know and hate had a… surprise landing on the remote island of St. Helena, where they recreated the decisive Battle of Waterloo as a tribute to its most famous resident. Mal revealed a smart side to her crazy, prompting Ass and Courtney to make an unexpected alliance. Julia finally got Patrick eliminated, and Team Friendship became just a little more unraveled. Who will survive today’s challenge? Will anyone? Find out right here, right now, on Total Takes: World Tour!”

The sun finally disappears behind the sea of clouds, only visible from the windows of the clunky jet plane soaring through the skies. It’s dark now, but no stars are visible.

Julia peers outside the single tiny window in economy and squints, then turns back to her team. Ass and Courtney are sitting a significant distance from herself and Mal, whispering and giggling amongst themselves. The aforementioned is closer to Julia, but still holding her space as she stretches out on the bench, scrolling through her phone. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Julia takes a seat next to her. “So, what’s the M.O. for today?”

“Hmmmmm?” Mal asks, not bothering to tear her eyes away.

The blonde grits her teeth. “Any idea where we’re landing next?”

“I haven’t had the chance to run my Predictinator since yesterday. I’m running low on storage space,” she sighs. “What’s it gonna take for a girl to get a 30TB hard drive around here?”

Julia rolls her eyes and looks out the window again. A few lights are visible through the evening mist, piercing through the carpet of clouds like rays of sunshine. She turns back. “Lights, so, we’re somewhere populated. Paris, maybe?”

---

JULIA: “I wouldn’t announce it in front of anyone on this plane, but I think I might be the only smart player left,” she pauses to snort. “Who’s gonna out rank me? Pinkie Pie? Daria? The Nutcase? I don’t think so. If anyone’s gonna pull us together, it’s me.”

---

“Unlikely,” Mal says, adjusting a pair of cat-eared headphones on her head. “While the lack of stars is definitely a sign of light pollution, we’re not in Europe. I’ve been tracking our flight times, and we’ve been flying way longer. If I had to guess…” she thinks for a moment as the cat ears light up to an aggressive shade of pink. “Western United States. I guess it could be Vancouver, but the air and temperature don’t feel right.”

Julia raises an eyebrow. “How-”

“I went to San Diego comic con last year- total ripoff, by the way, the east coast conventions are so much better- and I was wearing my latest Diluc cosplay, and-”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” the blonde sighs, getting up and walking away out of economy.

Michela watches the interaction from across the room with bated breath. She turns to Albert. “Something’s up with that team,”

The boy, still absorbed in his book, looks up for a fleeting second. “Isn’t there something up with all of them?”

“Yeah, I guess, I mean like…” she holds out her hands and moves them apart, indicating the space between Mal and Julia, and then Courtney and Ass. “Totally split.”

Albert sets down his book and thinks for a moment. “Maybe… we could use that to our advantage,”

“We might have to,” Michela says, gesturing to herself and her last remaining teammate.

---

First class feels much bigger than usual with everyone crowded in the same area.

Bonnie and Kelly are squinting at a crude drawing of what appears to be a bell with a horse’s head in red crayon. Finally, the goth sighs. “I have no idea. I give up,”

“No giving up!” Staci insists, urging Phillip to shove the drawing closer to them as if the distance would suddenly reveal something to them.

“Come on, it’s obvious!”

“Um… steam boat?”

The small hour glass on the pull-out table in the center of the area runs out of sand and Phillip sighs. “It’s a physical manifestation of the concept of grief,”

“What?” Bonnie snaps, throwing their arms out. “WHO chooses that for Pictionary!”

“I thought Eiffel Tower was too obvious,”

The goth slinks back in their seat, groaning as if in a tremendous amount of pain. Kelly offers them a reassuring shoulder pat. “It’s our turn, Bonnie- I’m sure we’ll do better this time!”

They grumble, but relent.

In the opposite corner of the cabin, Max grimaces and holds his hands over his ears tighter.

---

MAX: “Staci thinks we haven’t been “working as a team” lately, so she’s been forcing the dunces to play “team building exercises”. AKA, kiddie board games. I only got out because I flipped the board after Phillip started crying when he lost Clue. I’m in time-out,”

---

“This is torture,” Bonnie mutters.

Finally, the intercom crackles to life and, like an angel descending from heaven, Chris swoops in to save the day with a different kind of torture.

“Attention, passengers! We’ll be landing in Los Angeles, U.S.A. shortly- so buckle in!”

No one wastes any time rushing to their seats and double-buckling before the plane plummets, accompanied by the sounds of screaming teens. Kelly and Staci grab onto Bonnie, who quickly shakes them off.

Phillip tries to grab Max’s arm but the latter dodges just in time, and he smacks face-first into the arm rest.

Economy isn’t doing much better. Julia covers her head, Michela and Albert duck, and Courtney and Ass grab the edge of the bench while dodging all the loose wads of gum and candy wrappers flying around the Zero-G cabin. Mal struggles to post a Tweet while the room trembles from the air force.

Finally, the plane swoops over the Southern Californian hills, pulling up just before colliding with the mountain face (but not before taking out one of the “O’s” in the Hollywood sign, leaving it as “Hollywod”).

The metal bird lands gently and delicately on the sandy, arid desert hills, its doors opening and releasing the woozy contestants with a round of hisses and groans.

Chris grins at the sight. “Apologies for the rough landing- nighttime- low visibility!”

“Sure,” Courtney mumbles, a deep inflection of sarcasm in their tone.

“Welcome to Hollywood! Famous for its movies, stars, and, well… fame!”

Kelly squeals, forcing everyone on their side to cover their ears.

---

KELLY: “Finally, I knew my luck would turn! I’ve always wanted to go shopping in Beverly Hills, strut the Walk of Fame, visit the gorgeous beaches… if there’s anything the Cali coast is known for, it’s good vibes and positive energies!”

---

“Right,” Chris grimaces, pulling his hands off his ears the second Kelly quiets down (thanks to a quick hand-over-the-mouth from Max). “Anyway… today’s challenge is all about the Stars- you’ll be climbing the metaphorical ladder from being pathetic nobodies to being someone important, like me!”

Bonnie rolls their eyes.

“Your first step is enclosed in this sealed Award envelope- you’ll be hunting for these throughout your stay here in La-La-Land,” the host says, pulling the glossy golden tickets from his shirt pocket and tossing one to each team. “First team at the last location wins immunity and first-class amenities. As they say in the theater industry- break a leg. Or two!” Chris chuckles. A helicopter suddenly swoops overhead, dropping a ladder for him to climb.

The teens watch as he ascends and begins floating off into the night. “Oh, yeah- almost forgot- like any Star, you’ll be avoiding the Paps- paparazzi, that is!”

“Ooh, I’ve always dreamed of being a famous actress- or a singer- or a triple threat!” Kelly squeals. Albert rolls his eyes. “I love having my picture taken!”

“Yeah, but not by these guys,” Chris shouts. “Good luck!”

Max massages his temples. “Okay, listen- as much as you oafs want to soak in the limelight like a dying houseplant, we need to keep a low profile. I-”

“Not so fast, Max,” Staci says, shoving a finger in his face. “Let’s hear from everyone before making any big decisions. We need to work as a team if we want to win!”

He hisses, but is luckily restrained by Bonnie when Staci turns her back.

“If we lose, she’s done,” Max whispers harshly. “I’m not going to be a part of her little friendship experiment. They’re destroying the team!”

“Anything to get out of-” Bonnie shudders. “Group bonding.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Still as solitary as ever, I see?”

“I’ve been improving,” they say, shrugging. “I’m just not sure how to like… not explode into a million angry pieces when I get fed up with everyone’s crap. What even is that?”

“Overwhelm. You went from no friends to all the friends. I’d imagine that’d take some adjustment,”

Bonnie’s eyes drift over to Albert and Michela as they open their envelope. “We both have some adjusting to do, huh?”

Nearby, Julia clears her throat and opens the envelope. “Oh, great, it’s another one of Chris’ stupid riddles. What does this even-”

She takes a deep breath, and then sighs. “Mal, would you-?”

Courtney and Ass make fleeting, annoyed eye contact, but don’t say anything as Mal peers over Julia’s shoulder.

The brunette sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s just a haiku,”

“A what?”

“A haiku- you know, an ancient Japanese poem. You guys are like, so uneducated!”

“Okay, fine,” Julia grits her teeth. “What does it mean?”

---

JULIA: “As much as I hate that little IPad baby twerp, she might be the only other person on this team who has any competency. If I can keep goading her into participation without wringing her neck, we might have an easy ride to the finale three,”

---

“If it’s fame you seek, find the place of solid stars, and make like a bee,” Mal reads. “Hm… solid stars…”

“The Walk of Fame? Those stars are pretty solid,” Ass prompts.

Courtney shakes their head. “But what does that last part mean? “Make like a bee…?” What do bees have to do with the Walk of Fame?”

“Maybe Chris hid a bunch of killer hornet nests there,” they grumble in response.

Julia shakes her head. “If only there were someone… ugh. SMARTER THAN ME who could help out,”

Mal smacks the gum in her mouth and gives the team a sideways glance. After a brief silence, she sighs with a smile. “If you insist…”

She nabs the paper from Julia’s grip and reads it, then reads it again, and then holds it up to the lights of the city as if it’d do anything. Then she nods. “The wax museum,”

“What?” Julia snaps. “How?”

---

MAL: “Does it bother Julia that I’m good at things? Yes. Do I care? Not really. I’ve barely got enough storage space to unlock my phone… if I can “team player” my way into a hard drive, so be it,” she pauses to flick a lint ball off her shirt. “Besides, this is child’s play. I’ve been stalking and collecting data on deleted blogs since I was eight.”

---

“Uh, duh? Solid stars- bees? Wax statues,” Mal says, crumpling and tossing the clue behind her. “Can we get moving now? I’m getting like, NO bars here.”

---

Max pushes open the door to the now-closed and empty wax museum and peers into the dark foyer. “This is it,”

“Team work makes the dream work!” Staci says proudly, accidentally shoving him out of the way as they strut in. “Let’s go, guys!”

Bonnie helps Max to his feet and he grumbles, then follows the leader inside.

“Okay, problem: It’s too dark to see,” Staci says, scratching their chin. “Solution! Let’s find a light switch. Any volunteers?”

“Ooh, me! Me!” Kelly announces, dashing off into the dark before slamming into an unseen wall. Staci winces.

“You okay there, teammate?”

“Just… happy… to be included…”

Max rolls his eyes as he and Bonnie are ordered to go help them up. A sudden fwoosh catches everyone’s attention and they turn to its source.

Phillip is holding a lighter, emitting a short spark of flames that illuminates the area around him.

“Where’d you get that?” Bonnie asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I always carry a lighter on me, in case I ever need to light a smoke,”

“You smoke?”

He pauses for a moment, and then sulks. “No. I have asthma,”

“Well, it’s a good thing you came prepared anyway!” Staci says, patting him on the back. “Lead the way!”

---

BONNIE: “Staci isn’t a bad person, she’s just… a little in over her head. It’s like they’re reciting dictionary terms, not really leading… but I’m not going to test my luck. I might be next in line,” they shiver.

---

MAX: "Yeah. We’re dead,”

---

STACI: “Am I doing a good job or what? I finally feel like I’m getting the hang of this leader thing- college, here I come!”

---

Michela and Albert push the double doors open and dash in.

“It’s so dark in here- we must be the first ones!” she gasps, grinning. “Let’s find a light switch and get our next clue.”

The two run in further, seconds before Team Yaoi dashes in.

“That was Michela and Albert- how are we last?” Courtney huffs.

“Never mind, let’s just-” Julia thinks. “Mal, does your phone’s flashlight still work?”

She shrugs, her eyes still fixed on the screen. The blue light casts a menacing shadow over her face. Julia grits her teeth.

“Mal, would you be so generous as to-”

“On it,” she says, flicking on the flashlight and illuminating the darkness.

Dozens of lifelike statues surround the team, their dull stares sending shivers down everyone’s spines.

Courtney swallows a lump in their throat. “Okay… is it just me, or is this place kinda-”

“Creepy?” Ass says, finishing their sentiment with a nod.

Julia shakes her head. “Let’s just find our clue and get out of here,”

They press on into the dark.

---

“Hey, look!” Kelly says, pointing ahead. “There’s a note from Chris on the wall!”

““Your next clue is hidden somewhere in one of these statues- in order to find it, you’re going to have to get personal- heh. One unlucky teammate is going to have to carefully undress the statues, one by one, until you find it. Don’t worry- they’re not totally lifelike. Good luck!”” they read.

Max rolls his eyes. “He even enunciates his evil laughs in writing,”

Bonnie crosses their arms, ignoring their friend’s remark. “So… who’s gonna strip them down?”

The five of them look between each other awkwardly. Max turns to Staci. “Alright, since no one’s stepping up, looks like our leader is going to have to pick a volunteer,”

“Doesn’t that kinda beat the purpose of volunteering?” Staci chuckles, looking a bit pale. “Well… alright. How about-”

“I just got my nails done!” Kelly insists.

“I hate the feeling of wax,” Bonnie grumbles.

“No way, it’s way too gay,” Phillip quivers.

Staci swallows a lump in their throat and then turns to Max. “Would you-”

He shrugs, giving them a wicked grin. “Nah. I’m not much of a leader, after all,”

---

MAX: “Staci wants to role-play Mx. President? Fine. But I’m tired of being her VP every time she wants an easy out. If she’s going to actually learn how to lead, she’s going to have to make a hard choice eventually,”

---

STACI: "Okay, I'm no prude but... bodies make me a little squeamish. They're just so... fleshy,"

---

“That’s okay! I can figure this out,” Staci says, pacing back and forth. “Okay, okay, I’ll do it. Right?”

The other four teens shrug, and then follow her into the darkness.

---

“Oh this is SICK!” Julia gags, reading Chris’ instructions.

Courtney shrugs. “Hey, better than doing it to a real person like in the original season. Even though these statues are creepy as all hell,”

“They’re not so bad. They kinda remind me of my anime figurine collection. I have the largest collection of exclusive one-time-run limited supply Haikyuu figures in continental Canada, you know,” Mal says, poking one of the statues with a giggle. Julia rolls her eyes.

“Let’s just get this over with,”

The faint, ever-dreaded song bell catches their attention, and the entire cast seems to collectively groan.

“It’s creepy how they stand there, and don’t even blink!” Courtney sings, walking by an Elvis.

Ass crosses their arms. “I don’t wanna see them there, all smooth and pink!”

Julia leans into the two. “Hey guys, could we bribe Mal to strip them all down?”

Ass shrugs “I say let her at them-”

“Nuh-uh, she’ll burn this place down!” Courtney snaps.

Across the floor, Team Friendship isn’t faring much better. Staci is trembling, beet-red and unable to even undo a single tie on Marilyn Monroe. She turns back to the team for help.

Bonnie looks away. “No way, I can’t do it- I swear I’ll spew!”

“And I’m allergic to sequins-” Max smirks.

“Okay, that’s just cruel,” the goth comments.

Phillip holds up his hands defensively. “My sigma lifestyle, prevents me from touch!”

Kelly blushes and clears their throat. “Um, well, I think it’s just a bit too much,”

“If we’re gonna find that clue, there’s only one thing to dooooo!” Bonnie sings.

Max nods. “Force someone to strip them down-”

The four players sing in unison, pointing at Staci. “And sorry, Stace, that’s you!”

They groan, looking pale.

“If we’re gonna find that clue” Julia sings, nudging Courtney and Ass with either elbow. “There’s only one thing to doooo!”

“Force someone to strip them down,” Courtney and Ass nod, both pointing at Mal. “And Mal will have to do!”

Mal shrugs.

“Hey I think I got something!” Michela says, pulling an envelope out the back of Lady Gaga’s dress. “Come on, let’s go, quick!”

Albert shakes his head. “Good, let’s get out of here- this place makes me sick!”

Team Yaoi sings as Mal shreds the clothes off the figures one-by-one. “Yeah, we’re gonna find that clue!”

Staci unzips a single dress, looking green and dizzy. “We’re doing what Chris proposed!”

“Force someone to strip them down,” Max sings merrily, nudging Bonnie.

The rest of the team harmonizes in unison. “Cause if we don’t we’re toast!”

Bonnie walks throughout the rows of statues, hand clutched to their heart. “Totally to-oh-oh-oh-oh-oast!”

Staci shudders, pulling their hand away from the dress. “I don’t think I- guys, I can’t even look at Barbie dolls naked, it- it freaks me out!”

Max rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m not doing it. Bonnie?”

The goth shakes their head. Kelly whistles innocently, looking around the room. Phillip begins backing away, but doesn’t look where he’s going and crashes into a wax statue of Taylor Swift, both of them falling backwards.

The flamed tip of his lighter catches onto her tousled blonde locks and she goes up in flames, melting slowly and dreadfully into the concrete floor. Phillip winces.

“Hey, look!” Bonnie gasps, pointing at the melded beige remains of Swift. A single, wax-covered envelope pokes out of the mess.

Max grabs it and tears it open. ““With your wax surprise, find where the magic happens, and the crowd goes wild.” Any thoughts?”

“Wax surprise must mean the clue. Where the magic happens is what bosses say when you’re about to sign up for the worst job of your life,” Bonnie thinks aloud. “And the crowd…”

Max and Bonnie look at each other and speak in unison. “A studio!”

“Yayyyyy team!” Staci says weakly. “We did it!”

“Phillip did it, with his amazingly idiotic dunce routine,” Max snaps. “Whatever. Let’s get a move-on.”

---

Team Yaoi stops outside the gates of a massive studio lot, looking between the wrought-iron bars of the entrance.

Julia gives them a tug. “Locked,”

“Well, the clue has got to be around here somewhere…” Courtney thinks aloud. “Ass? Any help?”

“I’m thinking,” they respond, pacing back and forth. “If only we really were in the movies. Some deus ex-machina plot device would swoop in and save the day.”

Courtney snorts. “I wish. We could go for a corny superhero savior right about now,”

“Like in that one movie where the girl jumps off the roof-”

“-And that hero in the spandex swoops in and saves her! That was so dumb, I swear- I don’t think I’d ever be so infatuated with a man to jump off a roof for him,”

Ass crosses their arms. “Tell me about it. How dumb do they expect the audience to be to believe a working woman would throw her whole life away for some dork in tights? It’s basically the same as a ditzy princess marrying a rando she just met. I’ll never forgive my cinema studies teacher for giving me a low grade on my paper about that. He called it “too cynical”,”

“Yeah, I got banned from watching spoof movies when my parents are home,” Courtney chuckles. “Even though I’ll watch pretty much anything when they’re gone. Which is all the time.”

---

COURTNEY: “Out of all the people… I can’t believe I’m getting along with Ass- I mean, Natalie. Maybe this is some weird trauma-response to Mal and Julia’s alliance, maybe this show is just getting to me, but… they’re not half-bad company!”

---

ASS: “Courtney? I know. I used to hate their guts, but they might be the only sane person left. Even after we get Mal voted out, I don’t see any harm in continuing our alliance. It’s not like Julia’s the most pleasant person to converse with,”

---

A loud screech distracts the two from their in-depth analysis and they turn to the road, where seven black vans have pulled up.

“Don’t even tell me,” Julia sighs.

The car doors slide open and dozens of paparazzi file out, holding cameras- and stun guns.

“I guess this was what Chris was talking about,” Courtney says, looking at Ass nervously. “And the crowd goes wild!”

“I’m not sticking around for that. Run!”

---

“Okay, everyone, stay together!” Staci yells, running at the front of Team Friendship’s frantic escape from the stampede of coffee breath and flashing lights. “Remember, work as a-”

“Enough!” Max shouts, covering his ears seconds before he’s enveloped by the crowd of paparazzi.

“NOOOOOOO!” Bonnie shouts, throwing out a dramatic hand behind them as he disappears into the tidal wave. They turn back to Staci. “Man down!”

“We need a plan!” Phillip shouts.

Kelly yells ahead. “You can do this!”

Staci frowns, a bead of sweat running down their forehead. “I… I… I don’t know! I don’t know! Leave me alone!”

She screams and throws herself into the crowd, knocking over a dozen paps like bowling pins.

Bonnie blinks, turning to Kelly and Phillip. “I think our leader was just assassinated,”

“Not a bad idea though!” Kelly shouts back, grinning. They stop and throw themselves backwards, barreling over a few more people. The impact has a domino effect, and with each collision another row of paparrazzi fall.

“For my honor!” Phillip shouts, tossing himself too.

Bonnie shakes their head. “I hate you guys!” and jumps into the fray as well.

After the dust clears, and the sounds of groaning and grumbling have subsided, a hand juts out of the fog to help Bonnie up. They accept it and Max pulls them to their feet. He waves around a golden envelope. “Let’s get out of here,”

---

“The win which you need, is where stars are out of reach, skies are what you seek,” Julia reads aloud. “Okay, so… somewhere high…”

“That could be anywhere!” Courtney says, dusting off their shirt. “There’s multiple skyscrapers in this city.”

“But it has to do with actors, right?” Ass adds on as the team walks through the darkened city, wincing at their injuries from the paparazzi encounter. “There’s gotta be some agency building or something.”

“Maybe… maybe not,” a voice from the back pipes up.

The three turn behind them, where Mal is scrolling through her phone. The device itself is untouched, while the girl is covered in scrapes and bruises from the stampede.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Chris said this challenge is all about stars, right? Well, what if this clue is about a different kind of star?” She says, pointing at a hill ahead of them.

The Griffith Observatory flashes, twinkling in the night sky like a star itself. Julia sighs, not even bothering to ask, and then gestures the team ahead. “Only one way to find out!”

Mal grins and follows close behind.

---

MAL: “Okay, so I may have been lying… just a little,” she grins, barely holding back a giggle. “I’m not some riddle prodigy. It’s just that the studio infrastructure has like, no firewall, and, well…”

She holds her phone to the confessional camera, revealing live camera footage of herself in the confessional. She scrolls and it flicks to the plane galley, and then economy class, and then the cargo hold.

She takes back her phone and sits down. “I wouldn’t call it stalking so much as, per se… learning the lore!”

---

Team Friendship looks between each other as Max and Bonnie pace, discussing the clue. Staci is seated on the asphalt, far from the rest of the group, her knees pulled tightly to her chest.

“So it’s somewhere high up, has to do with actors, but isn’t a skyscraper, isn’t the Hollywood hill…” he thinks aloud, pacing. “I feel like we’re missing something.”

“A double entendre, maybe?” Bonnie asks. “‘Sky’ might be a metaphor, or a reference.”

Max groans. “This is useless,”

Kelly watches the two discuss the clue, team morale sharply dropping. They sigh and take a seat next to Staci. “They could really use you, you know,”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know anything. I’ve been playing everything by the book to a T- and I still suck at this. It’s no different than high school, or college… I’m just never going to understand people,” they sigh. “What’s the point of trying anything- friendships, school, romance… if I’m just never going to get it right?"

Kelly frowns, and puts a hand on their shoulder. “Staci, you have more strength than you know. I know I see the best in everyone, but… you’re a part of our team!”

No response. She looks away.

“Look, maybe you’re not a leader. Maybe you can’t be Max, or Bonnie… So what? You don’t have to be perfect at everything,” they smile weakly. “I know what it feels like to be out of place… but you, Staci, you belong on this team. You don’t have to be the head! You can be the… liver, or something.”

They raise an eyebrow. “Anatomy isn’t really my strong suit. Human bodies kinda ick me out,”

“My point is more than everyone has a purpose. We all have a purpose. You’re an important part of this team,”

Staci thinks for a moment, and then smiles slightly. Kelly grins, feeling a deep sense of accomplishment, before the both of them are called back to the group.

“Hey, we think we got it!”

---

Chris sits atop Mount Hollywood, tapping his watch. Despite the time, the observatory decks are packed with tourists, pointing and gawking at the lights of the city below them.

As the host checks his teeth in the reflection of his watch, a team rises over the crest of the hill and lands at his feet with a thud.

“Did we… did we make it?” Julia wheezes.

“You sure did, champ. Team Yaoi has won the challenge- and immunity!”

Only two people follow them, wheezing and covered in bruises. Michela groans at the sight of Team Yaoi already planted firmly in the winning spot.

“Dammit! I thought we actually did pretty okay this time,”

Albert huffs. “At least we’re not-”

“INCOMINGGGG!” Staci shouts, shoving a line of tourists aside as Team Friendship dashes forward.

With one final burst of energy, the five had managed to scale the hill- but not fast enough. Max sighs at the sight of the other teams, and then shrinks to the back of the group to conference with Bonnie.

Kelly cheers. “We made it! We made it!”

“We’re in last,” Phillip sighs.

“But we still made it, didn’t we?”

Albert rolls his eyes from nearby.

“That you did. Unfortunately, not in time,” Chris says, pacing between the three exhausted teams. “Team Yaoi- welcome back to first class. Team Friendship- I’ll see you later tonight. Enjoy the city while you can, folks- we’re taking off in ten!”

---

Team Friendship looks between each other nervously as Chris merrily clears his throat, munching on complimentary airplane pretzels and flipping through a Reality, Weekly.

“Hah, Blaineley’s getting canceled on Twitter again. I bet you guys are glad she’s not coming back, amirite?”

The teens stare back blankly. He sighs. “I miss Scruffy. Anyway, onto the votes. With three against her, Staci- time to take your final bow and step out of the limelight. And into the moonlight, amirite?”

Crickets. Chris glares. “Do I have something in my teeth? Helloooo?”

“Can we just get on with this?” Max snaps.

“Ugh. FINE. Staci, you have been eliminated never coming back, yadda yadda. Here’s your chute,” he tosses them a pack, which they catch with a thud.

She sulks, but stands anyway. “Well…” she says, a slight smile coming to her face. “Thanks for the experience!”

Staci waves to Kelly and jumps into the night sky, screaming all the way down. Chris sighs happily. “I missed that. Well, I’ve got a jacuzzi and three seasons of soap opera that are calling my name. See ya!”

The host walks off, leaving the remaining team members behind.

---

Julia walks into first class, holding a soft chocolate chip cookie. She plops down on the plush, comforting first class seats and leans back. Mal giggles at her phone from across the aisle.

“What’s funny?” the blonde asks, taking a bite of the baked good.

Mal clears her throat, quickly switching from live footage of the cargo hold to her Instagram account. “OMG, you’re gonna love this. My mutual posted this new Genshin meme-”

“You know what? Forget I asked,” Julia mumbles. She looks around the cabin. “Where are Thing 1 and Thing 2?”

“Bathroom and galley,” Mal states, matter-of-factly. She plugs her headphones back in and tunes out Julia’s grumbling as she switches back to the raw footage.

---

ASS: “As surprised as I am to admit it, this arrangement is… working for us, somehow. Now, I don’t want to be in the final three with Mal as much as the next guy, but-”

The door suddenly opens and closes behind someone.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize that someone was in here,” Courtney says. “It was unlocked.”

Ass shrugs. “Damn it, I must’ve forgotten. I’ve been kinda off my game lately,”

“Really? I feel like you’ve been doing pretty well,”

“That’s not what I… never mind,” they sigh. “Thanks, I guess. You too.”

Courtney smiles, and then chuckles lightly. “This is crazy, right? I feel like this is pretty crazy,”

“Yeah,” Ass smiles back with a shrug. “Crazy.”

The two beam at each other for a moment and then, without thinking, lean in and kiss.

---

From back inside first class, Mal’s eyes widen at her phone.

#total takes world tour #ttwt #im obsessed with mal you guys dont get it

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