#EY WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHANGE YOUR LAYOUT TUMBLR WTF

[kiwidotcom]

Microdosing mushrooms is the biggest game changer I've ever experienced

[myunghology]

can i request izumi, leo, and ritsu with a fem!s/o who's year younger than them and tends to act childish and affectionate?

▬▬ IZUMI SENA, LEO TSUKINAGA, AND RITSU SAKUMA WITH A S/O WHO'S YOUNGER, BUT ACTS CHILDISH AND AFFECTIONATE.

▬▬ READER TYPE ▸ fem, your/yours pronouns used. and i used the word "girl" ONCE. just once. feel free to change it while reading.

▬▬ LAYOUT ▸ headcanons.

▬▬ CW ▸ swearing..? like a lot of swearing

▬▬ PROOFREAD? ▸ u wish

▬▬ AUTHORS NOTE ▸ bro my hair keeps falling out? do i have cancer🗿 did u guys miss me doing enstar work🥺 wtf tumblr keeps hiding things from x reader tag. bitch how am i supposed to get famous

▬▬ REQUESTS ▸ closed.

▸ IZUMI SENA

୨୧ bro.. give him a break :(. jk lol he doesn't deserve it

୨୧ he's about to grow more gray hairs <3 but it's okay! he still loves you and he's letting you slide. okay but he always let's you slide >:(.

୨୧ “l/n is doing dumb things again.” — tsukasa. izumi groans but it's a daily thing now! he's gotten used to it. he was just chilling until he heard you were messing with leo. but it was just a childish fight! you whine.

୨୧ let's you do your things sometimes, but not all the time! izumi still drags you from all the messes you cause. he scolds you everytime! can you blame him though?

୨୧ but.. he's kinda jealous of how you and leo get along so well.. i mean.. he hates having to scold you everytime, but he wants to spend time with you like that as well! why does it have to be leo :(? though he'll never admit that over his dead body.

୨୧ “bro.. i was just joking:)” *runs*

୨୧ but his responses to your affection are so:( man im so fucking single. example ; “hey, izumi, kiss me if im wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?” and he kisses you. MAN

୨୧ he does get a tiny bit flustered, but you have to squint to see! you have a new achievement though if you get him off guard <3. be as flirty with him all you want, but he WILL flirt back. goodluck if you get flustered easily.

୨୧ “you remind me of a star. do you know why?” — izumi, “..because im full of gas?” — y/n, “no, dumbass! it's because your beautiful.” — izumi.

୨୧ overall, nagseselos ako sa relationship nyo<3 ( translation ; you guys are so cute! ) ( the translation is right<3 don't translate it. it's right i swear🥺 )

▸ TSUKINAGA LEO

୨୧ izumis about to shit himself

୨୧ y'all are cute he won't lie! but give the man a break

୨୧ okay enough about izumi .

୨୧ you guys are such soulmates <3 both chaotic and affectionate that's so cute. helping leo compose in a chaotic way = leo having fun with you in any way you can think of!

୨୧ tsukasa is also about to shit himself! but anyway, dating leo while also practically being his twin is soooo fun. when he first met you his eyes were sparkling <3 knights know they've regretted their life choices right after though

୨୧ insert you running to leo while his arms are wide opened

୨୧ his response to your affection is more affection, like squshing your face and kissing all over it :(. bro what if i cry

୨୧ he thinks your adorable!! you two get weird stares, but it's not like you two care. it's almost impossible to see you two not being together.

୨୧ try to flirt and he'll pause for a bit, but hits you back with the MOST CHEESIEST pickup lines. but it's okay, he's trying okay.. but you can't lie, it's cute, isn't it!?

୨୧ overall, iiyak na talaga ako. ( translation ; you guys have an amazing relationship <3! ) ( it's still right i swear )

▸ RITSU SAKUMA

୨୧ oh shit

୨୧ okay, first of all.. he doesn't really care? im sorry as long as you're with him then, he doesn't give a single shit. but then again, he thinks your adorable.

୨୧ doesn't wanna be waken up by anyone unless it's you:( or mao but more you.

୨୧ one time you tripped over him and he almost swore at you.. (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ) but then he realized it was you, and he just pulled you into his arms, “behave for me, would you? i can't hurt a girl, so, just stay still and be good for me.” AAAAAAAAAA

୨୧ he doesn't really care what messes you make, as long as your enjoying yourself, then that's all that matters. and as long as he doesn't have to clean up after your messes.

୨୧ his responses to your affection though.. he just... smirks ? bro please. have mercy

୨୧ try to flirt and he WILL also flirt back. but unlike those other two up there ^^ he makes suggestive comments. good luck if you get flustered easily too. im not helping you with that babes

୨୧ MAYBE. maybe if your lucky, he'll give affection back too. but he's more used to receiving. why? it's ritsu we're talking about you know why

୨୧ let's say you are lucky enough! it only lasts a day though:( but it's better than nothing! it happens like.. once a month.

୨୧ overall, lulunod ko na talaga sarili ko. ( translation ; i wanna live to see your relationship <3 ) ( i don't think you should translate this one )

©miihai ; AAAAND. that's done! All the translations are right dw 🥺

[dolcenco]

Ay Mami Likes It Rough Pt. 3

Christopher Velez x Reader 

Warning/s: SMUT AF

S/N: SOOOOOOO, for some reason t*mblr deleted the contents of this and im like???????? wtf duddddde why??????? i just added some tags what gave you the right to delete everything, if i didnt back this up from my drive id have to type everything back up from memory and scratch akhakhsakhs thank u almighty for back-ups 

-

“Erick?”

“Que?”

“Why are there dicks on my tour publicity materials?” You watched him edit the publicity material due later over his shoulders.

You, Erick and Joel, were at backstage in the lounge room waiting until it was time for soundcheck. Erick was designing the concert edits after the short photoshop lesson you gave him, and Joel was reading mountains of fanfics on Tumblr with your phone.

The moment that seemed like a calm afternoon turned into a stressful one in minutes.

“Erick, No! We don’t put dicks on our tour edits!”

“(Y/n)! Do you have any more of those fanfictions?”

“Hold on, Curls. Gotta stop Erick from turning the edits into a dick gallery before I get fired.”

After a little game of tug of war and few sermons, Erick ended up messing with an old tour edit instead of the ones due. You let out a stressful sigh and plopped next to Joel on the couch. He didn’t even bother to acknowledge you as he continued to be engrossed by the content he was reading.

“How is it?” You asked, amused that he was enjoying the Marvel fanfics you suggested him to read.

“Did you know that people write about me?” He muttered, eyes still glued on the screen.

“What?” You asked and checked your phone.

Oh, so he wasn’t reading marvel fanfics.

“Oh?” You knew about them but he doesn’t have to know that you read them during your free time.

"Yeah, they were so good, I'm not even mad!" He gushed, pointing at the phone. "I mean, It was flattering. Weird, but impressive."

You just nodded in agreement, and let him continue to read when Clara, Richard, and Zabdiel finally entered the room with a bag of doughnuts, back in time for sound check.

“Clara have I ever told you that you’re an angel.” You thanked her as soon as you get your hands on the blessed doughnuts.

“Least I can do for babysitting the children.” She motioned at the two already stuffing their faces with food.

“Oh, you should see what Erick did with the edits.”

“No don’t show her!” Erick panicked, his mouth filled with doughnuts and hid your laptop behind him.

“Cla, where’s Chris?” Joel asked, and when Clara was about to answer, Chris walked through the door of the lounge with a smile the moment he saw you.

When you noticed him start to walk  towards your direction,  you panicked and quickly sat in between Richard and Zabdiel, “So, my favorite daddies, how are you?”

He stopped and shifted his direction to join Erick on the other couch instead, giving you one last look before turning to his best friend.

It had been two weeks since the jacuzzi night, and both of you had the most intense sexual tension in the air. Even other people could feel it. You’re afraid if Chris came any closer to you with his sensual touches, you’ll end dragging him to the nearest room for the 2nd round.

That night in the jacuzzi was undeniably the best sex of your life but when you reached your hotel room, realizations hit you like a ton of bricks. You were breaking the“no sex on the job” rule, and it was hard to follow through when Chris wanted to go for a second round. He didn't even try to hide it when he was around you and touched you more than he used to.

The hoe in knew that if you bite into the bait, it’d be the endgame for you, Chris and your career. Even the way you saw Chris changed. He was Chris  “the skater boy who steals all my uwus” to Chris the “ Papi, bend me over and fuck me senseless” in a snap.

You distracted yourself and was teasing Rich and Zabdi when one of the photographers rushed into the room, panting then sighed in relief when he saw you.

“(y/n)! I need you!” He asked if you could fill in the spot of one of the photographers for the show tonight, and once you agreed, he proceeded to orient you on the key placements for later.

As you both were reviewing, you both feel arms draped around both of your shoulders.

“What are you guys doing?”

Your body stiffened when you realize it was Christopher.

“Talking about the key spots for later, any suggestions?” The photographer asked and showed him the venue layout.

“Maybe have angles coming from this side…”

You tried to focus on the game plan, but can’t help notice Chris’ hand hanging dangerously in front of your chest, but he pulled them away, still conversing with the photographer.

“But (y/n) takes amazing shots so,” He says with a smirk. You don’t know if he was doing it on purpose or what, but his hands hanged dangerously close to your boob and with a little movement he can brush up on them accidentally.

You sighed in relief just when you thought he pulled his arm away. His hand slid down your back and paused just over the clip of your bra, curled his fingers as if he wanted to unclip them but thankfully didn't. He continued to caress down your back, and when you feel him move closer to your ass, you knew what’s about to happen.

AND NOPE NOT HAPPENING

When you quickly transferred to the other side of the photographer, Christopher frowned and looked confused but nodded his head anyway at the photographers’ instructions.

Although, you knew getting sexual with Chris was a bad idea but your body can’t help but look for his touch after that night. You just held everything in you not to drag him out of the room for that round 2.

*

It was an hour before CNCO's performance, and you were rushing down the hallway in a hurry to get to front stage for a proper evaluation of the venue. As you were fixing the settings of your camera, you suddenly feel a hand grabbed your arm and dragged you inside the nearest room

You were so ready to fight this person's ass, so you screamed and thrashed around until a hand muffled your protests.

“(y/n), shhh, calm down. It’s me.” The voice whispered, and your eyes snapped open to the sound of an all too familiar chuckle.

“WHAT THE HELL CHRIS!”

“Your face!” He harshly pulled you into a room, you were late, and his laugh rang in your ear in a really annoying way that you punched his arm.

“You’re such an irritation.” You cursed and glared, watching Christopher clutched his sides from laughing so hard, and when you realize that he wasn't going to take you seriously, you rolled your eyes and was about to leave when he stopped you.

“(y/n), wait, lo siento.”

You faced him and crossed your arms on your chest, feeling the weight of your camera heavy on your neck. You noticed that he was already wearing his blinding concert attire that you always questioned why management approved such a disappointing design.

“Aren’t you supposed to be preparing in…” you checked the time, “...in 50 minutes?”

He shrugged, “50 minutes is enough.”

You gave him a curious look, suddenly intrigued by what he meant. “Enough for what? and why are we in the bathroom?”  

He eyed you cautiously and bit his lip when the confidence he built up earlier started to diminish. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“What makes you say that?” You scoffed and avoided his gaze when your cheeks heated up. How can you say that the reason you avoided him is that because you wanted him to pound inside you over and over again until you couldn't take it anymore?

“That night at the jacuzzi. I don't know. If it was bad, I'm so sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you reassured him. “It was good, like really good.”

“Oh?” He cocked an eyebrow and his lips twisted into a smug smirk.

“Don’t get any ideas, buddy. I could get fired for that stunt we did.” You told him sternly.

“No, you won’t.” He teased and tucked a loose hair that was falling over your face.  ”I got you.”

Christopher Velez back at it again with the soft fuckboy gestures.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” The moment that stupid grin appeared on his face, the strings of banters began.

You took a good look at him now that he hovering close to your body and thought to yourself, oh how you badly wanted him in between your legs. You got all excited and drowned into his minty and masculine scent that made you weak in the knees.

”Besides, ” he started, whispering.

A shiver ran down your spine when you feel his lips grazed against your ear but the next thing he said sparked electricity in between your legs.  

“I wanna make you cum.”

You were surprised at how blunt he was but It wasn't long until you reached over and smashed your lips again his soft, luscious ones.  You sensed him smiling into the kiss, his craving for your lips finally satisfied after weeks of longing for them.

When he snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you against him to feel your body against his. Chris lets out an “oof” forgetting about the camera in between you two.

You quickly apologized and he took your camera, placing it on the counter to keep it away from damage before he smiled at you darkly and resumed the kiss.  

He pinned your body against the door with so much force that you gasped, and he took this as an opportunity to slid his tongue inside your warm mouth and massaged yours with his.

He pecked your lips and you moaned when he sucked your bottom lip. He pulled away to trail kisses on your cheek and traveled to your neck as he pressed himself against your body.  

You let out a small moan when you felt Chris’ hard manhood pressed against your thigh. You wanted him so bad.

Kissing and sucking on your neck, Chris finally ground himself against your crotch and rolled his hips so you could feel how hard he was for you.

“Fuck, Chris.” You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him close to you as possible. You were so turned on at this point and all that worry about the no sex on the job thing was threw out of the window.

His hand slid down to your ass and grabbed it, giving it a good squeeze. He reached under the back of your thighs and picked you off of your feet. You wrapped your legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. Your arms snaked around his neck and tossed his cap to the side so you could run your hands through his hair.

He grunted when you tugged on the ends, enjoying the feeling of your fingers weaving around.

“Watch the hair, Mami. They just fixed that.” You giggled and continued to play with his hair. You squealed when he walked you both to the counter and sat you on it, not breaking contact.

Christopher ran his hands all over your body, wanting to touch every inch of skin he grabbed on to. He didn't even hesitate to go under your shirt and cupped your breast underneath your bra in the process because oh god how he loved your tits.

Your skin shivered at the coolness of his rings as it grazed the skin around your nipples when he thumbed your sensitive buds. You moaned and arched your back at the sensation sent to your now aching pussy, rocking your hips against his crotch to tell him that you wanted him now.

“How much time we have left?” He managed to huff through the kiss, and you pulled away to check your watch while you tilted your head and granted him access to leave hungry kisses down your neck.

“30 minutes until the show.” You managed to pant out and Chris cursed against your skin.

He lightly gripped your neck and looked you straight in the eyes. He was giving you one of his signature sexy glare. The same dark looked he had when he caught you touching yourself in the jacuzzi. “I’m going to fuck you properly soon.” He growled and squeezed your tits. “But for now, I’m not going to let you go until you cum for me.”

You groaned with the aching feeling in your wet pussy intensifying with every word. He pulled your leggings off all the way down and grinned at the sight of your soaked gray panties. “Wet for me?”

Before you could respond, you gasped when he rubbed you through the cloth. He licked his lips as he pulled your panties to the side and slides two fingers into your soaking pussy.

“Fuck, Chris!” You moaned loudly and grabbed his shoulders, his fingers working their magic as he moves and massaged your clenching walls. He was hitting the perfect spots and you didn't want him to stop.

You noticed his hard-on printing on his pants. He looked like he was begging for release so you reached over and rubbed him through his jeans.

“Missed my dick, baby girl?” He bites his lips at the sight of you withering for him.

You nodded your head eagerly, whimpering when Chris pulled out his fingers out of you to pull down his pants and set his blessed cock free, stroking it for you. Ready for you.

He pulled your body closer to him and hovered over your shaking body. He laid you on the surface of the counter to bring you pussy close to his hard dick and tease your wet folds with the tip of his head. When you were just about to demand him to put his cock inside you, Chris eased himself into you and cursed how tight you were around his cock.

“Fuck, babe, you’re tight” He groaned. It was so intense the way you clenched around him, taking his size all in. The pleasure was running down your core as he eased in and out of you, thrusting himself.

“Faster,” You begged and he increased the movements of his hips and thrust harder, deeper into you. You whimpered for him. You couldn’t take it. His dick felt so good.

“Oh fuck!” You cried out and threw your head back in pleasure, finally having his cock buried inside of you after weeks of wanting, craving for him. He grabbed your leg and brought your body closer to him so he can fuck you deeper.

Grunts and moans filled the bathroom as Chris continued to fuck you on the counter. “Fuck, babe. So fucking good.” You moaned and pulled him closer to your body, his dick filling your tight cunt. The way you moaned made him roll his hips faster, and harder into your pussy.

“Fuck baby!” You cried, and Chris pulled your hips closer to his, sinking his cock deeper inside of you. You were almost laying on top of the counter, your elbows supporting your body as he thrust his hips onto you, the sound of skin to skin filling your ears.

He pulled down the front of your shirt, exposing your black lacy bra as he thrust into you harder while his other hand rubs your sensitive clit that sent electricity all over your body. You start to feel the burning sensation of your climax forming in the pit of your core.

“I’m close, babe.” You gasped and wrapped your arms around him, sucking and kissing his neck as you near your finish.

Chris grunted, desperate to make you cum so he picked up the pace, and fucked you faster and harder while he rubbed your clit furiously. You didn’t want the feeling to stop, but you were so fucking desperate to cum.

“Cum for me, Mami.” He whispered into your ear and when you heard him call you ‘mami’ you were gone. You cried out his name and you came all over his dick. Chris smashed his lips with yours as you ride out your high. The sound of heavy breaths filled the room with Chris leaning on your shoulder while you sank back against the mirror, catching your breaths. When Chris pulled out of you he checked the time and cursed, “Fuck we’re late.”

He quickly pulled his pants up and helped you get into your leggings and panties before he carried you off the counter. You both checked yourselves on the mirror, fixing your hair and clothes.

“You go out first, and I go last so we don’t look sketch or anything.”

He grinned at you, “Who cares if people knew?”

You rolled your eyes and was about to swat his arm but caught your hand and pulled you towards him, giving you one last sensual kiss and a squeeze on your tits.

He pulled away from you and went to open the door discreetly. He smirked and gave you one final wink until he poked his head out the door to check for any passerby.

After he made sure that the hallway was clear, Christopher stepped out of the bathroom first. You waited and counted to 10. You took a deep breath and swung the door open. As soon as you did, the sooner you wish you hadn’t.

"Well, well, someone doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘no sex on the job’ rule.”

You gulped. You were screwed.

[lesbiansirius]

mutual(s) pining

a work brought to you by bunfox productions, aka yours truly and @lesbianremus! you can also read it on ao3, right here. big thanks to the lovely @nachodiablo who looked it over for us!

this is a prompt fill for the weekly prompt at @introvert-club. this week it was “internet crush”. anyone is welcome to participate, and use the tag #wolfstar introvert prompt for us to see! enjoy :) 

Some days, scrolling Tumblr is pretty boring. A flower, a transparent backpack, a dejected joke about depression, a dead Soundcloud link, nothing to inspire. Sirius is hunched over their laptop, watching the screen with their chin resting on their hand. A long discourse post they can’t be arsed to read, gifs from a show they don’t watch, and then.

Inspiration strikes.

It strikes in the form of two selfies. The person in them is standing in a sunny garden, curls spilling out from under a snapback, and smiling with their eyes closed. You can see lilacs blooming in the background. The person has freckles and a t-shirt with a whale on it, featuring the text “I’m a little overWHALEmed”. Same, Sirius thinks.

They click follow without even looking at the blog.

Remus squints at the tiny, seemingly innocuous, line of text on her dashboard. It’s sandwiched between a masterpost of transfeminine resources Lily’s reblogged (tagged #dead useful tbh #remus i told u joining tumblr wld be worth it) and a post from one of Lily’s friends about how Glinda the Good Witch is trans agenda (shows up at the beginning of Act 2 with a new name).

padfoot has started following you

Who the fuck is padfoot?

Remus quickly opens a new chat, typing in Lily’s url. She had made Lily show her how to do this chat business first, after changing the aesthetically horrifying default blog layout.

do u kno a padfoot

Lily, eternally both awake and online, replies immediately.

wtf is a padfoot

oooh hang on actually i think i do

???

ya they’re one of my mutuals. mostly posts vids of them singing and reblogs pics of animals, iirc

why are they following me??? i don't want to be followed!!

remus chill ffs. it’s not like stalking. they just see ur posts

i dont even have any posts! well except those pics marlene took that u INSISTED i put up here

ur welcome. i bet they think ur hot ;) ;)

hilarious.

remus when will u accept ur cute n give the people what they want!! (more selfies)

im unfollowing u

my dash would be more appealing w just the staff blog posts

im ignoring ur paltry attempts at threats. also, i just went and looked and ya i had the right person. u should check out their vids

why

its polite 2 at least LOOK at someone's blog if they follow u!! honestly remus my 86 yr old grandma is more social media savvy than u

Remus chooses not to reply to that. She does click on padfoot’s blog, though. Not because Lily suggested it, just because she’s curious. What about some boring pictures of her in a garden screamed ‘good content’ to this stranger? Maybe they’re really fond of lilacs, or something.

“What the fuck?” Remus says, glaring at the still shots of the youtube videos embedded on the page in front of her. Whoever padfoot is, they’re apparently unfairly attractive. Remus clicks play on the first video, half-hoping they’re an appalling singer to make up for the ridiculously good looks.

Two hours later, Remus’ phone buzzes, jolting her out of her Tumblr coma and back into reality.

did u die? Lily wants to know. Remus calls her.

“Why would you assume I’m dead?”

“I’ve been knocking on your door for the past ten minutes, asshole.”

“Oh,” Remus looks guiltily down at the headphones she’d put on three videos in.

“Well come open the door,” Lily gripes. “We’re late.”

*

“Can we be late for a thing that we scheduled between the two of us?” Remus points out, as Lily tugs her down the stairs. “You barely even gave me time to put on proper clothes,” she complains.

“We said pub at five. It’s not my fault you weren’t ready.”

“Actually,” Remus says with a self-righteous sniff, “it was. You’re the one who told me to check out padfoot’s blog.”

Lily pauses, looking over at Remus.

“Yeah, three hours ago.”

“Two and a half,” Remus mutters.

“Wow,” Lily smirks. “I knew they’d be your type.”

“Shut up,” Remus grumbles. “We’re going to be late for Weekly Lion’s Den Bitch & Moan.”

“I thought it was impossible to be late for something we scheduled between the two of us,” Lily says mockingly.

Remus walks off without her, ignoring the sound of Lily’s cackles following her down the street.

*

Sirius straightens up from the computer and looks for James. He’s in downward dog position in the kitchen area, because of course.

“Hey,” they say, “quick question.”

“I’ve told you a million times not to interrupt me while my arse is reaching for the sky.” James sounds a little strained, but he still manages to get in a sigh.

Sirius groans. “This is important!”

“More important than my spiritual health?” But James walks slowly into a forward fold, and Sirius waits for him to get upright, one vertebrae at a time. They tap their fingers against their laptop.

James reaches his hands up towards the sun – or in this case, the orange plastic lamp in their kitchen – then finally gives Sirius attention.

“Okay, what’s the quick question?”

“How long should you be mutuals with someone before casually striking up a friendship?” It’s probably not causal to even ask that literally two minutes after the person follows you back, but whatever.

James rolls up his mat and chuckles. “You’re talking to me, literally the least casual person this side of the equator.”

Sirius frowns. They’re used to James always giving advice. Admittedly, sometimes it’s bad advice, but nonetheless.

“You mean I have to use my own judgment? Eh.”

“When I’m your manager you’ll never have to do that,” James jokes.

Sirius doesn’t reply; they’re actually checking out the pretty stranger’s blog now. The title is ‘why are they forcing me to have a title’ and the bio just says ‘she/her’. The pictures are the only thing on the blog. Well, that didn’t exactly help. Tumblr friendships are usually based on mutual interest. Maybe they could strike up a conversation about lilacs?

“Okay, well, thanks for nothing,” they tell James. “I have nothing to go on, my crops are dying, and I haven’t even posted a video in a week.”

“But your crop tops are fine.” James winks and slumps down next to Sirius, looking over their shoulder at the mysterious whale person. “Wow, pretty.”

“I know! The only good thing on Tumblr today. I need more!”

“You need chill,” James says firmly. “Wanna go to the pub?”

Sirius closes the laptop decisively. “Always.”

“Let me change, I’ll be ready in a few.” James gets up, giving Sirius an unnecessarily detailed view of his ass in yoga pants. “And you should put on one of those crop tops.”

“But remember the last time you went out in yoga pants.” Sirius grins. “Worked out well, didn’t it?”

James shakes his head. “Not tonight, honey, I’m tired.”

“It’s hard work being popular.” Sirius shrugs.

They do take James’ advice to change into a crop top, because even if James isn’t up to being hit on, Sirius could use the validation. And they look fucking awesome in a crop top and fishnets.

It’s just a few days after payday, and the time of day when people are off work, so they only barely manage to get the last free booth. Sirius sits down on the edge of the sofa, strategically placing one leg over the other so they’re visible to the people who pass by. It might not be a whale pun or lilacs, but Sirius’ legs rarely fail them.

James returns with an ale for Sirius and his own awful lager with cordial in it. The pink makes it look pretty, but that’s its only redeeming feature in Sirius’ opinion. James sighs happily when he takes the first sip, though.

“Did I tell you about that movie I found the other day? It’s like a comedy about vampires and werewolves, it’s amazing.”

Sirius listens to James try to explain it, and they then spend a considerable amount of time discussing various vampire questions. Do they get boners, and how? Can vampires be vegan? Are there vampires working night jobs that no one knows about?

Their stomach is hurting from laughing by the time Sirius gets up to get a second round. When they get back, James isn’t alone.

*

Remus pushes the door open to The Drunk Carnation, holding it politely for Lily, in spite of what a pain she’s being today. It is Lily’s turn to buy the drinks, which cheers Remus up slightly. At least if she’s going to be mocked she can do it over some semi-expensive alcohol.

Once they’re seated, Remus quickly changes the subject away from Tumblr.

“So how’s your acting class going?”

“Pretty well,” Lily says, sipping at her Seven and Seven. “That creep still won’t stop asking me out.”

“I thought you were going to ask the cute clumsy one to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

Lily shrugs.

“I still might. It’s sort of hilarious watching him work up the nerve to talk to me, though. I’m not sure if I want to put him out of his misery yet.”

“You’re a cruel woman, Lily Evans.”

“Anyway,” Lily says, shrugging off what she probably considers a compliment, “you aren’t getting off that easy. What did you think of padfoot?”

Remus groans, dropping her forehead onto the table and nearly tipping over her can of PBR.

“They’re fine,” she grumbles.

“Someone’s got a crush,” Lily sing-songs. “Hang on.” Her tone of voice changes slightly, and Remus looks up, following her line of sight. She recognizes when Lily’s ‘cute person’ radar is going off. “Weirdly,” Lily continues, looking back at Remus, “that’s him. They guy from acting class.”

“Oh,” Remus frowns. “The creepy one or the one you’ve set your cap for?”

Lily snorts.

“The latter, Jane Austen.” Remus smiles over the top of her beer, but doesn’t reply. Lily looks oddly hesitant for a moment, before her expression clears. “We’re going to go say hi,” she says firmly. Remus groans, but let’s Lily tug her to her feet. “Oh stop moaning,” Lily says.

“I thought this was a dedicated romance-free evening,” Remus says self-righteously.

“It’s just a hello.” Lily strikes a pose as soon as they’re alongside the table, cocking one hip and tilting her head flirtatiously. “James. Fancy seeing you here.”

The man at the table starts slightly, looking up from his phone. He widens his eyes and nearly drops the poor phone into his drink.

“Lily? Oh. Wow, hi. Hello.” Remus stifles a smile as James glances over at her. “Erm,” he says, getting awkwardly to his feet and holding out a hand. “I’m James.”

“Remus.”

“Nice to meet you,” James says politely, before his eyes drift inevitably back over to Lily. “Would you two like to sit?”

Lily looks over at Remus, raising an eyebrow. Remus sighs inwardly, resigning herself to a dull evening of playing third wheel. She knows Lily will go back to their table without protest if Remus asks her to, but she can also see that Lily is more interested in James than her conversation about him had let on.

“Sure,” Remus says, sliding into one side of the booth. She sits on the end, so Lily and James are forced to sit next to each other. Lily grins at her from across the table, and James looks to be a strange combination of thrilled and alarmed.

Remus is just trying to think of a way to excuse herself to give the two of them some time to talk, when someone else approaches the booth.

“I leave for two minutes and you’ve already replaced me,” the person says, heaving a dramatic sigh. Remus just barely manages not to jerk up her head, but she’s staring so intently at her beer that it’s possible she looks like some sort of deranged beer label design student.

Oh no, Remus thinks. I recognize that voice. James is babbling out some kind of protest and Remus’ stomach clenches up. Have we interrupted some kind of date?

Fortunately, Lily quickly takes charge.

“You’re too late. He’s mine now,” she says with a grin. James looks like he’s struggling not to combust on the spot, and Remus stifles a laugh. She’s grateful Lily’s given her a moment to get her equilibrium back. The stranger, padfoot, Remus’ brain helpfully supplies, slides into the booth next to Remus. She turns, friendly expression carefully propped up on her face, and smiles.

“Hello. I’m Remus. The extremely rude one across the way is Lily.”

“Cheers,” Lily says, sipping her drink.

“Sirius,” padfoot says with a grin, holding out a hand. Remus shakes it, trying not to look terribly star-struck.

I can be chill about this, she tells herself firmly. A tiny voice in the back of her mind is screaming that’s a GIANT lie, Lupin. Sirius is even cuter in person and they’re right there, nearly touching her and they smell really nice and it’s horribly distracting. She can’t even escape to the bar to get her head together because Sirius has just brought new drinks and Remus is now trapped against the wall.

“So,” she says a bit desperately, “how do you two know each other?”

Lily, who has apparently decided she’s fulfilled her helpfulness quotient for the year, just smirks at Remus over her drink and lets her flounder.

*

“How don’t we know each other?” Sirius waggles their eyebrows and grins. They then want to punch their own face.

James laughs nervously and glances at Lily. She is pretty, but he’s pathetic. Unlike Sirius, who’s the epitome of coolness right about now.

Remus looks a little pink. It’s adorable. “Oh, were you on a–”

“I beg you not to finish that sentence,” James cuts in. “Sirius is just being a dick. We know each other from school, way back.”

“Clearly this school thing is the way to meet people,” Remus says. Sirius laughs, possibly more than the joke warrants.

But Remus is wearing another t-shirt with whales, and is so beautiful, and Sirius feels like bursting into song. They’re lucky Remus and Lily didn’t turn up after a couple more beers.

“I like your shirt,” they say and nod towards Remus’ chest.

Remus looks down on her beer and giggles. “Whale whale whale,” she says, then looks up. “Get it?”

Lily groans on the other side of the table, but Sirius laughs again. They can’t seem to help it. This person is their kryptonite. “That’s funny. Do you have more of these?”

Remus tells them about the overWHALEmed t-shirt and Sirius pretends not to already know about it. James casts a smug glance at Sirius every now and then, but he looks too nervous himself to be gloating.

“What do you do for fun?” Remus asks, turned to Sirius, her leg almost touching their skin through the fishnets.

“I like singing,” Sirius says. “But it’s not too serious.”

“Ha–” Remus starts, and Sirius groans and buries their head in their arms. “Sorry,” Remus adds quickly. “I’m sure you get that a lot.”

“You have no idea.” Sirius lifts their head again and smiles. “Anyway. What do you like?”

Remus hesitates. “I write,” she says. “But nothing too– er, consequential.”

“Nice save.” Sirius braves nudging her arm with their elbow, and Remus looks at them and smiles.

Sirius doesn’t want to look away. Remus smiles like she’s holding back a much bigger smile, giving the impression that there’s just too much sunshine in her to contain. Sirius spills over.

“I followed you on Tumblr earlier today,” they blurt out. “I liked your selfies.”

Remus goes red. That was the last reaction Sirius had anticipated, but it’s not terrible. “I know,” she admits. “I don’t understand why, though.”

Because you’re beautiful. “They were very aesthetically pleasing pictures,” Sirius improvises. “I was so uninspired and then I saw them and it was good content, what can I say.”

Remus is shaking her head. “Not as good as your singing.”

“You checked out my blog?” At this point, the point where their arms are touching feels like burning, but it’d be weird to move now. Also, Sirius doesn’t want to.

“I don’t have more than ten followers, of course I get curious,” Remus says defensively. She’s not moving her arm, either.

“Really?!” Tumblr really is a hellsite. Remus, no more than ten followers? Atrocious.

“Yes?” Remus looks puzzled.

“You don’t want more?” Sirius is grappling with this concept.

“Not really.” Remus shrugs. “Anyway, I listened to a bunch of your songs, and I really liked them. You should be the one with more followers.”

“Thank you.” Sirius doesn’t know what else to say.

Lily clears her throat. “Excuse me for interrupting what I’m sure would have been an incredibly drawn out flirting process, but I’d like my best friend back, so if you could just exchange numbers now that’d be great.”

Sirius makes a surprised exhale, and Remus moves her arm back at lightning speed. “I will murder you,” she says calmly.

Lily just smiles at her. “Sure, but let’s get drinks first.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus mutters. “May I get out?”

Sirius gets up and gives way, watching with amusement at how James tries not to die when Lily passes him in closer proximity than he could possibly have hoped to have her. They say goodbye, and Lily and Remus start walking away before Sirius finds their bearings.

“Wait!” They take a few long steps to catch up. “Actually, Remus, I’d like that number, if you want to give it to me.”

Remus raises her eyebrows and her mouth opens slightly. How she’s making “flummoxed” look hot, Sirius has no idea.

“Sure, yeah.”

Lily looks extremely smug as they exchange numbers. Sirius is not looking forward to the look on James’ face when they get back to him.

Remus gives them one last barely-contained smile before her and Lily leave, for real this time.

Sirius looks at their phone and starts laughing. Remus saved her number as ‘whale endowed’.

Yes, Sirius has definitely been struck by inspiration.