#EXCELLENT lesbian thriller. i love this woman she’s out of her mind she’s trying her best she’s working her trauma out in front of a lens to

[clawsextended]

i think about this so much in the context of selina reaching all the way down inside her to really rip out her own feelings about her father, about fathers, about how fathers hurt you, about how the very act of one even being a father feels like a violence to her. i think about how she’s killed carmine with her own claws, how she recalls the sight of joseph’s brains splattered across the carpet, how she knows exactly what makes someone want to kill their own father. her eyebrows raise and her head bops but it’s sudden, it’s dangerous, it’s peppered with a madness that speaks behind precisely this thought. their father makes a person want to kill their father. selina doesn’t say. i wish i had gotten the fucking chance the first time.

what would make a person want to kill their own father? selina asks, rebecca asks, daphne asks, all three of those people have differing reasons but the only one that’s true is selina’s (and all three are also only ever true, only ever real) (daphne’s father bellows like a foghorn. rebecca’s father drawls. selina’s father is still looking at her, his eyes dripping down his cheeks in chunks as his face crumples—)(selina’s the only one who has to feel it. she doesn’t know how she would survive if she couldn’t feel it in front of a camera. there’s catharsis in portraying that to millions of others.)

selina loves being seen. it’s such an enormous kind of comfort for her. but only on her terms. and sometimes when everyone else thinks it’s a lie.