#ESPECIALLY after doing ruby's model sheets

[wereh0gz]

Oh I already know I'm gonna burn myself tf out with this idea (but I'm still doing it)

Why does inspiration strike when I'm trying to sleep

[judgeanon]

Plastic Skies - Model 13: F-15E Strike Eagle "Garuda 1"

Near the end of last year, I bought a sheet of bootleg decals to make my Mobius-1 F-22 Raptor (as seen here!). The sheet had a lot more decals than just the Mobius ones. Some were for planes I had no interest in doing, some ended up in my old decal-less Berkut model, and some inspired the model I'd end up building right after the Area 88 Tiger. After all, I knew sooner or later I'd end up making an F-15. Even if I'm not its biggest fan.

Yeah, yeah, I dunno, I just don't like the F-15 Eagle. I know it's the backbone of the USAF and a fantastic plane and it does everything and the story of how it was conceived is super funny, but there's something about it that just doesn't spark anything in me. It's just... a fighter plane. Much like the Flanker platform, it always felt like the most standard example of Fighter Jet to me, without the cool swing wings of the Tomcat or the sleek small shape of the F-16. There's no such thing as a boring fighter jet, but the F-15 is close.

That's not to say we don't have some history. One of the last models my brother built back when we were kids was an absolutely massive (for us) 1/48 scale Eagle. As with all our models, it was glued together and not much else, and I distinctively remember it losing one of its tail fins somewhere underneath a bed. Still, the thing was huge to us, and I always remember it as the biggest model we ever had. But that's about as much fondness as I have for the Eagle.

Or at least, as much as I had until Ace Combat happened.

Although the Eagle is very prominent in several AC games, the important one for this model is Ace Combat 6: Fires of Rubi--I mean Fires of Liberation, for the Xbox 360. This was one of the very last Ace Combat games I tried during my "I want to play all of them phase", since although PS1, PS2, PSP and 3DS emulation are all pretty good right now, Xbox 360 emulation is not quite there, and has apparently been not quite there for years now. I should know, I tried. But earlier this year, a very generous and dear friend of mine offered me an old Xbox 360 which he'd come into possession and was using to try some cool hacker stuff. And soon, I was finally getting to play AC6.

The game itself is great, as are all Ace Combats. It has a really interesting "large-scale battle" system, where different units are doing their own thing and you can choose which ones to support. It has the first appearance of high-g turns, which I love. It has a killer soundtrack, but that's no surprise. It has a really frustrating boss fight followed by a really amazing final level. And it has one of the most gloriously OP fictional jets in the series. Its story isn't quite as engaging as the PS2 games but I'm very glad I played it. And as seen above, the game's cover star is the F-15E, a plane for which I already had the decals to make.

So as I was finishing up the Tiger, I knew what the next project would be.

This was also going to be my first Academy model kit. Academy is a Korean model kit company that as far as I can tell sits quite comfortably in the middle ground of model kit quality. They make decent stuff for a good price with solid plastic quality, although some reviewers note a few glaring accuracy issues. I don't really care about accuracy when it comes to models, especially not at the price I found this, so I got to work pretty quickly.

The cockpit was the first step. Emboldened by my work on the Tiger, I tried to really make it shine this time, adding those little extra dabs of red to the flightsticks and other touches. Unfortunately, the decal sheets were a bit too wide for the panels, so they ended up getting warped and stretched. It looks pretty bad, but once inside the plane, I figured it wouldn't be visible. And I was right! Althouh what is visible are some of the corners where I skimped or forgot to paint, something which I'm definitely trying to work on in my latest kits.

The main fuselage was a much easier fit than the Raptor, although not quite as easy as the Tiger. The Eagle is a big motherfucker, after all, so putting it together requires a lot of pressure in different spots. Unfortunately, it also resulted in some plastic melting around a few corners, but only in the underside, and only on one wing. It was still a good lesson that made me want to invest in better cement, but it'd take a while for me to actually do it.

I decided the next step would be the nozzles, which is where this particular kit goes a bit fucking nuts. The F-15's thrusters feature external fairing arms for their variable geometry nozzles, which is way easier to explain with a picture:

And if you're observant, you can go back to that first picture of all the model's sprues and see how this kit handles that. But just in case:

The parts in green are the 30 (!) parts necessary to build just the two exhaust nozzles. The parts in orange are Academy offering people who aren't insane a way out, with two fully built nozzles with "turkey feather" panels instead of the arms. Which is very thoughtful of them, but after 12 models, I guess I was feeling a bit insane.

Admittedly, it wasn't rough sailing. The panels themselves didn't fit as well as I would've liked, and the faring arms required a very delicate touch. Still, I figured it'd all look at least decent once I went in with my beloved burnt iron paint, and sure enough, the end result was mostly fine.

Around this time, I started running into what's become my weak point this far into model building: indecisiveness. It's easy to think that models are "put them together first, then paint, then decals, then varnish, then panel lining, then clear coat", and some cheap kits are perfectly capable of following that order. But the more experienced I get and the bigger kits I try, the more I find myself playing with that order, doing things like painting certain parts of the plane first before gluing, or even fully detailing things like tail wings before I'm even done painting the fuselage.

Which sounds smart and is the way to do until you're staring at four different tasks and you just don't know what you should start on now. In this model's case, one of the biggest problems was armaments.

This isn't even all of it, btw. This is still missing the eight other missiles I also had to paint. Though I will say, as messy as the yellow tips on the Mk 82 bombs are, I'm still a little proud of the way I figured out to paint them roughly similar:

It's not perfect, but nothing is. However, the armaments thing was something that bothered me all the way to the end of the build.

Painting the fuselage was a way different story. One of the reasons why I chose AC6's F-15 was precisely because it's just one big color. No camo jobs, no masking tape save for the yellow bits on the tail wings, just me and my brushes and a newly bought box of Revell Greenish Grey paint. That paint is... an odd one. Looks absolutely disgusting when wet, like the insides of a toilet after eating some very unhealthy food, but once it dries out and especially once varnished it looks... kinda cool? Kinda awesome? It just has way more personality than the usual air superiority grays of most USAF fighters.

The other part of the build that was surprisingly comfortable was the landing gear, since this model only has one door for each gear. Made the whole thing go by in a breeze, and before I knew it, I was already putting in the decals. At least the big ones. Admittedly, they're not 100% game accurate, since AC6 uses low visibility versions of the emblems and such, but they were there and I wasn't not gonna use them.

Panel lining was also shockingly easy for this kit. Although I'm still pretty lousy at it, the kit's panel lines were very well defined and easy to get the paint in. Compared to other kits I've had, this one was very well behaved when it came to this step. Sooner than I'd expected, the whole thing seemed almost ready to be done. I just had to finish the armaments and we'd be all done.

So... yeah. You might notice something missing here. As it turns out, this kit doesn't actually have enough parts to put the 12 green bombs I'd painted besides the Mk 82. They're supposed to go three alongside the edges of the conformal fuel tanks (where the missiles now are) and three on the little chunks poking out of the sides. But for whatever reason, this kit only has four of those little chunks instead of six. And due to some issues with the instructions, I think I also glued the ones it did have wrong.

On top of that, I had some issues gluing the hardpoints with the Sidewinders and Mk-82 bombs to the wings, mostly because hey, protip: gluing stuff that's already painted and varnished is waaaay harder than gluing stuff when it's fresh off the box. But I just had to be a smart boy and get all the panel lining done first... Very frustrating, especially after realizing this, too, isn't game accurate. But it'd never really been my goal to make something perfectly accurate to the game. Like with the Raptor, like with every kit I make, I'll always choose what looks good to me over what looks closer to the real (or virtual) thing.

Eventually, the whole thing was done. Painting the cockpit was tricky but I've lost a lot of my old fears about it these days. And once the whole thing was varnished, I found myself really liking what I was seeing. The long nose, the beefy wings, the shiny engines... Maybe I'd been wrong about the F-15 all this time. Maybe it isn't really a boring jet. Maybe I just needed to let it back into my heart. And although it gave me a real tough time in a bunch of places, at the end it's low-key one of my favorite models so far, and a nice homage to an unsung game.

And it looks pretty cool on the Area 88 base too.

[candideangel]

Loving a Warrior

Pairing: CrystalAngel (G’raha TiaxWol/G’raha Tiax Angelique) Word count: 1990 Content: Soft fluff, with a small hint of desire

To be in love with a Warrior of Light was not an easy task, especially if someone could not comprehend the fact that they could be called away without warning and the downside was unfortunate that at time the call could not be ignored. Someone in a normal setting could not possibly comprehend all that G’raha had learned to understand. Ever since he had moved into this small home unit with Angelique there had come to be growing pains aside from a new home, getting adjusted to taking aetherytes to arrive at Mor Dhona, the social aspect of their relationship would often be interrupted even after an already long day. He’d have his warrior, his lover, his Angel as he often teased her, in his arms until the infernal chime of the link pearl would go off just as they had been getting comfortable.

Angelique was always apologetic when she had to go, giving G’raha a kiss before she would take her leave in order to go attend to whatever business had called her away. She always promised to make it up to him, and more often she did, not that he would ever hold her duties against her. Though it seemed the realm refused to let the weary Bard ever take a moment to rest aside from after major battles where he had to often make sure she stayed firmly in bed as according to Krile, Y’shtola, Urianger, even Alphinaud’s persistence. It was a relief to him to know that the Scions had developed a sense of understanding their friend’s well-being. 

Today though had been originally forecasted to be something different, Angelique had been intended to be home by six that evening when a meeting was supposed to be over. G’raha had done his best to culminate a meal consisting of their favorite dishes without feeling overwhelmed. It had been intended to surprise her with a quiet night with it just being the two of them doing as they wished before turning in for an evening. Even setting up the table with an orchestrian roll with some nice music and the lighting lowered down to a nice dim at least according to the device that had been left with them.

However, just as the excitement had settled in, the time had started to pass becoming the sixth hour in the evening. As the seventh had come and gone, he curiously tried to connect via the linkshell they carried specifically for their own communication, but all he heard was a dull and empty ringing. G’raha decided to wait and as the eighth hour came and went, despite his ears lowering and the slightly defeated sigh, it would seem that Angelique had gotten held up and couldn’t communicate. Again. As much as he did hurt a little on the inside, he didn’t hold it against her and wouldn’t for time to come, as she could not truly say no (even if she wanted to) when someone needed help. 

The red haired miqo’te took a moment to take in the meal that had long since cooled, but had covered the portion for his love because it would be a shame and very bitter feeling to just simply toss something out that not only had he worked on, but also ended up being one of Angelique’s favorites. G’raha left the orchestrian on, but turned out the lights in their living space, heading to one of the adjoining rooms that had been decreed his study with a cup of tea in hand. The least he could do was at least keep himself busy until she came home. After all that composition of his research notes into a book form weren’t going to write themselves.

Before midnight, the lock to the main door would click open after the key had been put in and Angelique sighed softly as she rubbed her eyes a little with the heel of her hand, the soft patter of mechanical feet behind her as a smaller version of G’raha Tia raced inside. “Gods…” she murmured softly, sliding her hand to the back of her neck the leather lightly pulling tugging with the leather. “...That took ages...didn’t think I’d ever be able to get back home…”

As she closed the door she looked around, the home was mostly dark, but there were faint lights coming from the crack in the door that was G’raha’s study. Reaching over she flicked on one of the switches for a floor lamp and bathed the living area with a soft amber glow that only stretched so far. Then she saw that the table had long been set up, but only for one person. Curiously she walked over to lift the covering only to be surprised when she saw the serving of what was supposed to be dinner and something that was a mixture of their favorites, but due to the lack of wispy steam most piping hot meals often had; it was visible that it was long cold at the worst and lukewarm at the best. Setting the cover back on the plate, watching her footing as the wind up toy went to a darkened room that was the bedroom she would walk to G’raha’s study, slowly opening the door with the softest creak of hinges.

“Raha?” she called out to him gently, looking around at the mass amount of books, research notes, a model of the Crystal Tower in a corner, and there at his desk, head cradled on his arms, open book used as a pillow with ears flicking at the slightest of sounds on instinct, but not stirring. Crossing the floor, Angelique stepped over the book piles that she needed to talk to him about cleaning up later on, and settled behind him for a moment, hand slowly touching the top of his head and stroking in smooth and even movements. Still G’raha didn’t stir, but his breathing was deep and slow, deeply asleep. She did feel bad, knowing that G’raha had been excited and waiting for her to come home on time to spend time together, “I’m sorry.” she murmured softly, leaning over and pressing her lips gently to the side of his head and he returned with his own sleep filled murmuring that made no sense.

Angelique left the study for a moment before returning with one of their favorite duvets; a black and blue one with gold stitching for constellations and stars that they had commissioned one of their friends who was still learning her ways around weaving. Opening it up she would drape it over the sleeping miqo’te’s shoulders, reaching over to turn off his table light. While she would normally wake him, she'd hate to wake him during this time of night when he was so deep in his slumber. When she had finished she went to eat what he had worked hard and cooked for her, cleaned up the dishes and cutlery that had been used before she too had turned in for the night on their soft bed.

~o~o~

Russet ears flicked a little at the faint sound of a bird call, the waft flowers’ scent on a summer breeze tickled G’raha’s nose, but there was something else hanging in the air; deeper, darker, a familiar scent to him. Slowly his eyes opened to the morning light leaking in through his study window, curtains swaying softly in the breeze. “Mn…” He yawned softly, fingers slightly cramped from holding a feather quill in his sleep, as he started to lift his head with his cheek unpeeling from the parchment, something that felt like dried ink sticking to his skin. However, in his haze he felt the blanket slide off his shoulders and absently he saw it, realizing that it was their favorite duvet, most likely pulled from their bed and jolted awake a little. Miraculously he didn’t stub his bare toes on his book piles before he walked out into the living room and saw that in the kitchen was Angelique who looked as if she had just got out of bed.

To his vision his cheeks flushed a little, wearing nothing but a shirt that was most likely his with a small peek of small clothes under the hem. Her hair often put up in a bun had now fallen down to her back like a sheet of spun gold, haloed by the morning sun. Her voice rang in his ears, soft singing to keep her bardic vocal chords fresh. Ah, the many times he had seen this during late nights, to be greeted by this sight gave him life even with his cheeks warming softly. Quietly stepping behind his arms slowly circled around her waist, pulling her close and putting an end to her singing.

“Good morning.” she greeted him, feeling her emerald gaze on him while his lips brushed to the exposed flesh of her neck.

“Mornin’…” he greeted with a slight mumble in his voice, “...Did you just get home…?” he asked quietly, ruby orbs glancing down to the two metal cups with a soft tan brew; coffee mixed with cream and sugar. A soft chuckle greeted his ears and almost made him weak to the knees.

“...No, I came home close to midnight last night. And I’m so sorry, you went to all that hard work to spend time together, and I left my link shell here by mistake so I couldn’t contact you. The meeting ended up having some interruptions and took so much longer with the delays.” She explained looking over to him as she stirred the cream and sugar into their coffee. 

She left her link shell here? That explained why she never answered it. G’raha breathed out a soft sigh in relief, closing his eyes and his arms hugged her tighter, but his fingers slowly slid along to the bottom hem at her front, fingertips slowly tracing along the flat plane of her stomach. “It’s fine, I figured it was something work related keeping you away.” he spoke softly, leaning over and giving her a soft kiss to her lips when her head turned to his direction. So soft, so warm, only been a day and he had already missed the faint taste of the shine on her lips. “Mm…” he hummed and pulled back before starting to trace along her neck once more, “...Do you have your link pearl on?” he asked quietly.

“No, it’s in my drawer.” Angelique murmured, G’raha savoring the slight tremble of her skin under his fingertips when he chuckled deeply. 

“Good.” He purred reaching around with a hand he pulled away from the warming confines of her skin and his shirt, picking up the cup of coffee into it, “Today...I want you. Will such a hard working warrior appease this selfish lover?” he continued to speak low, and smirked just a little as he could almost feel her slacking against him.

“Yes.” she breathed softly and then looked at him with a small smile, “After all, they can contact someone else for a little while.” Raising a hand she brushed her thumb against his cheek, wiping away an ink smudge on his softly sun-kissed skin. “I hate it when you use that voice against me. You know I can’t resist when you do that.” she teased him, but received that deep chuckle followed by the rumble of a purr in his chest while a russet tail wrapped around her thigh, fur tickling against sensitive skin.

“You love it though.” G’raha would reply with a small smirk before he would lean in to capture her lips once more.

To love a Warrior of Light was to be patient, to be understanding that not often would their time be spent all together. To be flexible in the scheduling in case of mishaps. But when wrapped in each other’s arms, each other’s presence, those were always the moments that would be cherished forever.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, January 4

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Ashton Kutcher haunted by his mistakes

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: Jennifer Garner ready for romance -- Jennifer has proven she’s fine on her own but she’s eager for her happy ending and has even set her sights on some of Hollywood’s most eligible hunks like Chris Evans but seems happily single; she binge-watched Outlander and was totally taken with Sam Heughan and she also finds Martin Henderson very sexy but heard he has a girlfriend 

Page 6: After a tumultuous few years Hayden Panettiere’s 2021 is looking bright and she’s been working on herself since her split from toxic ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson -- she’s taken control of her life and is making good choices -- she’s been able to rebuild her life and her relationship with her daughter Kaya who lives in Ukraine with her dad and next on her agenda is reviving her once-hot career

Page 7: Justin Bieber who’s been a devoted member of the controversial celeb-favored Hillsong Church for years is studying to become a minister -- Justin has long credited Hillsong and especially charismatic and recently fired pastor Carl Lentz for saving him from his dark period of drugs, public meltdowns and arrests -- Justin doesn’t plan to give up his music career but he feels there’s a bigger calling out there for him

* Jessica Simpson has signed deals for both a docuseries and a fictionalized series based on her life but not everyone is so pumped about her tell-all tendencies and least of all is her ex-husband Nick Lachey -- for Nick it’s just dredging up a past that’s better left alone and Nick hopes that Jessica goes easy on him in the scripted series but deep down knows there’s precious little chance of that

* Madonna is majorly inserting herself in her daughter Lourdes Leon’s love life and she’s constantly on the phone asking how things are going between Lourdes and her socialite beau of three years Jonathan Puglia and she wants to know when they’re making things official -- Madonna even pushes for double dates so she can bring her 26-year-old boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams -- Lourdes appreciates how much her mom cares but she’s finding all the micromanaging too much to handle 

Page 8: Jason Aldean who boasts an $80 million fortune loves splashing his cash around especially when it comes to his children -- the singer who shares son Memphis and daughter Navy with wife Brittany and girls Kendyl and Keeley with his ex likes being seen as the moneybags and leaves tough love to the kids’ moms and he’s always pulling out $100 bills for his teens and buying his little ones new clothes, toys and high-tech gadgets even though they’re so young -- he’s definitely spoiling the kids but nobody complains about it so he just keeps on buying them stuff because nothing makes him happier 

* The milestone 6-0 is still months away but George Clooney is planning to do some serious partying for his birthday and he’s sparing no expense -- he’s looking at celebrations across the States and Europe plus a boys-only getaway to Mexico 

* Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence are having a blast filming their first movie together so much so that tongues are wagging about the pair’s fiery chemistry on the set -- even though Leo and Jen behave like total pros when the cameras aren’t rolling there’s a running joke among the cast and crew that Jen’s marriage to Cooke Maroney could be in trouble -- of course the reality is that Jen is crazy about her husband and Leo who is dating model Camila Morrone has a strict rule never to get involved with costars but still there’s an attraction that can’t be denied 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars get glamorous in glitzy looks -- Alexa Chung, Tiffany Haddish

Page 11: Maya Hawke, Sarah Hyland 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Yara Shahidi vs. Cindy Bruna, Becky G vs. Sofia Carson 

Page 13: Celine Dion vs. Shailene Woodley

Page 14: News in Photos -- Jessie James Decker in a pink bikini in Nashville

Page 15: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and their son Gunner doing a Christmas card shoot in L.A., Jessica Alba spent the day handing out Honest goodies at the Baby2Baby Holiday Drive-Thru Distribution in L.A. 

Page 16: Gwen Stefani rocked a cat-themed holiday jumpsuit while on the way to the recording studio in Santa Monica, Leighton Meester surfing in Malibu 

Page 17: Maria Sharapova brought back the 1970s during a photoshoot in L.A., Pink kept it casual during a coffee run to Starbucks in L.A., Tia Mowry returned home with a full trunk of gifts and goodies in L.A. 

Page 18: Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Jonas exploring London 

Page 20: Let’s Get Physical -- Robin Wright took her bicycle out for a spin in L.A., Chris Hemsworth shows off his ripped body while lifting a tire, Winnie Harlow in L.A. 

Page 22: Deck the Halls -- newly-engaged Jonathan Bennett gushed of spending his first Christmas with fiance Jaymes Vaughan, Jonathan and Drew Scott dressed as elves 

Page 23: Jon Bon Jovi and his dog, Selena Gomez with her dog Winnie in front of the Christmas tree, Brooke Burke kicked off the season by signing ornaments that will be auctioned off by Operation Smile 

Page 24: Malin Akerman arranged the sheets and blankets and pillows at a Hotel Style Collection from Walmart event in NYC, Jeremy Renner filmed a scene for Hawkeye in NYC, Chrishell Stause stepped out for a morning walk with her rescue pooch Gracie in L.A. 

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Marc Anthony’s elegant estate in Coral Gables, Florida 

Page 28: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are planning to renew their vows on Valentine’s Day which is 12 years to the day after Harrison proposed to Calista on their sprawling Jackson Hole, Wyoming ranch -- Calista is incredibly touched that Harrison is organizing this and he’s thoughtfully arranging to have her favorite flowers to be flown in and has already booked a local band and a caterer and baker 

Page 29: Emily Blunt and John Krasinski might be ready for baby No. 3 but friends are encouraging them to get their marriage on track first -- the two have had a tough couple of years and John can be hard to deal with and cranky when he’s working -- while the duo tend to put a super-positive spin on their marriage in public not everyone is convinced things are so rosy at home but Emily wants another child and so does John so they’re willing to take the risk 

* Meghan Markle and Prince Harry plan to kick off 2021 with a much-needed tropical vacation -- after an emotionally turbulent year Meghan and Harry are ready for this break -- following a quiet Christmas at home the couple is looking forward to relaxing on a warm beach somewhere, sleeping in, soaking up nature’s beauty and reconnecting as a couple -- they’re considering a private island in Hawaii or off the coast of Fiji 

Page 30: Taylor Swift who’s been collecting bridal magazines and wedding ideas since she was a teen will have to adjust to the idea of a small sequestered affair when her boyfriend Joe Alwyn officially pops the question -- the once-outgoing singer has turned into a hermit since hooking up with the British actor who insists on total privacy and loathes attention and now Tay’s inner circle is said to be worried that in Joe’s continued efforts to fly under the radar he’ll ultimately nix the lavish nuptials Taylor’s long envisioned

* Justin Timberlake and Olivia Wilde have a past -- dating briefly in 2011 and costarring in two films but they won’t have a future if Justin’s wife Jessica Biel has any say -- Justin is eager to work with newly single Olivia again but the collab between the old pals is a total no-no as far as Jess is concerned because she’s always seen Olivia as a threat and particularly now that she’s split from Jason Sudeikis

* Love Bites -- Bachelor Nation’s Emily Ferguson and hockey player William Karlsson are engaged, Christina Milian and Matt Pokora have another baby on the way, Gleb Savchenko and Cassie Scerbo dating 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Ashton Kutcher haunted by his past -- the actor is wrestling with major demons and regrets -- the grisly murder of his then-girlfriend Ashley Ellerin has stayed with him -- Ashton and wife Mila Kunis have weathered some storms but they’re in a good place now

Page 36: Celebrity Dads and Their Darling Daughters -- Michael and Carys Douglas, John and Ella Bleu Travolta, Lionel and Sofia Richie 

Page 37: Don and Dakota Johnson, Phil and Lily Collins 

Page 38: Ryan and Ava Phillippe, Mark and Lola Consuelos, Johnny and Lily-Rose Depp 

Page 39: Lenny and Zoe Kravitz, Clint and Francesca Eastwood, Alec and Ireland Baldwin, Rod and Ruby Stewart 

Page 40: Interview -- Charlize Theron does it all -- the actress, mom and producer talks about taking on projects that are close to her heart 

Page 42: New Year, New You -- kick-start a healthy 2021 with these celeb-approved wellness resolutions 

Page 46: Style Week -- Good American cofounded by Khloe Kardashian recently launched its first-ever footwear collection 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A with Brian Austin Green 

Page 58: Buzz -- Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis joined their parents Prince William and Duchess Kate on the red carpet for the very first time and held hands on their way to London’s Palladium to watch the National Lottery’s Pantoland

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Gwyneth Paltrow on getting starstruck, Kurt Russell on wife Goldie Hawn’s penchant for sleeping in total darkness, Jimmy Fallon on which SNL costar he’d want to be stuck on a desert island with (Tina Fey), Chrissy Teigen on being embarrassed 

Page 61: Megan Thee Stallion on the guidance she gets from Jay-Z and Beyonce, Frances McDormand on hooking up with husband Joel Coen, Chad Michael Murray on seeing pics from his heartthrob days, Rachel Brosnahan on what the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel fans can look forward to 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Capricorn John Legend turned 42 on December 28

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Larry David 

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe: Art and Origins (Outline & Review)

Steven Universe: Art and Origins is not just an art book--it's also a collection of early material, a reveal of many initial concepts, and an amazing experience to sort through. 

Finally getting around to importing my review to Tumblr. I wrote this on the release day.

In my review I'll give you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" with a book of this magnitude, so this may get long, but I'll try to include anecdotes that have some unique insight or perspective on the main source material--with as little of "OMG this was the original idea for this!" as possible.

This is illustrated with some low-quality pictures of the book and it gets super long, so I have to cut. But please read. :)

The overview:

After a foreword from Rebecca Sugar and an introduction from Genndy Tartakovsky, we get:

Part 1: Origins. This contains some narratives about Rebecca Sugar's early life as an artist--inspiration, family, college projects--all illustrated, of course, with childhood photos and early art. Rebecca mentions having wanted to bury her femininity for a while, but coming back to draw female forms and include dancing after she learned to sort through her issues using art.

Her college education and connections with other artists are discussed--some in interview format, some in narrative--and there is some background regarding her time on Adventure Time. The story moves on to talking about developing the pilot and what went into her character and plot ideas. Character design is discussed in depth, with Rebecca giving initial sketches to a design team and developing the characters' initial pilot look. 

Some really slick promo art is shared--posters, sketches, great concepts that were designed to bring in new viewers and make them curious about the show. The pilot succeeded in getting the green light to develop it into a TV series.

Part 2 discusses the show's Green Light and Development. Rebecca and some of the other crew, in interview format, talk about getting the team together and allowing for both nailed-down character essentials and flexibility for the writers to explore and collaborate. Developing the setting was also a big part of the to-do list; coming up with Beach City itself, its businesses, its residents, and also the creatures the Gems would fight. 

Some cute stories are shared about the early Crewniverse hanging out at a cabin and talking about the show all the time, hashing it out. There are some great, loose character model sheets for early versions of Greg, Connie, Sadie and Lars, and the four main characters.

Part 3 is about Character Design. They discuss how the pilot got released and fans grew attached to what they initially looked like, only to be "outraged" by the changes, making tons of assumptions about who was controlling the process. 

Rebecca shares some thoughts on her development process and her philosophy on letting different artists draw the characters differently while gripping onto specifics she set. Main, palette, and distance models are discussed, with some technical details of what different artists do on the team and how they handle props or special poses. 

There are many sheets of how to draw the Gems on model (with pointers on what NOT to do), and then there are some Homeworld Gem ideas that didn't get used, and finally, some sketches and concept art for Lapis Lazuli, Peridot, Jasper, and Bismuth.

Part 4 is on Writing and Storyboarding. More Crewniverse interviews provide insight into the process, including how much is revised from the early days and how collaborative everything is. Some specific episodes, like "Ocean Gem," "Monster Buddies," and "Island Adventure" are put into perspective with how they were written by the group. 

There's heavy discussion of how the process works and why processes that work on other shows wouldn't work here, and what "rules" are firm and what's just a suggestion, and what's changed as the show's plot became more complex and important. Steven still having access to the "side" stories, the ones that involve Beach City humans and non-world-shaking stakes, is still very important to the story that the original Crew wants to tell. Cute images from the Crew's thumbnail storyboards, Gem designing, and technology designing workshops are shared too.

There's some good continued discussion of concepts in Part 4, especially about fusion and relationships and the larger message the show is sending. How do you tell a story and why? There are many answers to that, and sometimes it's about fun and sometimes it's about a message and sometimes it's about wanting to make an episode about something you've never seen a cartoon do before--something specific to you that other people can suddenly see represented. 

One of my favorite parts of it is when they discuss Steven discovering the Gems' weaknesses over time and having that NOT make him think less of them--more like he admires them for being strong enough to shoulder the burdens he didn't know they were carrying before. Storyboarder Lamar Abrams talks about the importance of growing up not just being about becoming bitter, and I really like that.

Part 5 is on Sound and Vision. There's some history of how they found the voice actors for the major roles, and some of the actors give perspectives on their relationship and experience on the show. 

Aivi and Surasshu, as the composers, discuss their process as well, with some anecdotes and discussions of why musical palettes work better for characters instead of assigning them themes. Places and objects have their own sounds too.

Part 6 covers Background Design and Painting. Steven Sugar takes the stage and explains general background thoughts as well as specifics for certain settings. His focus on detail is really fascinating to read about--it's really him who nails down the locations in Beach City and where an outlet is in a house on the wall. 

The directors and other Crewniverse folks discuss the use of color and background items in the show, and how they use it to create mood or feel changeable enough to be real.

Part 7 discusses Animation and Post, with a spotlight on the work they do in Korea at animation studios Sunmin and Rough Draft. The process is described--how and when the material is transformed from animatics to animated cartoons. 

Nick DeMayo discusses timing and adding the sound effects and whatnot. There's also some design instruction that's provided to the animators in Korea. 

Some special highlighted drawings and pieces, like the "C.L.O.D.S." zine or some keys for Ruby and Sapphire, are included. 

Even the bumpers and end tag animations are discussed here. And of course they had to mention a couple very special episodes, such as when Takafumi Hori from Studio Trigger came in to do "Mindful Education," or when they did the musical episode, "Mr. Greg."

And Part 8 is called "Onward." The intention of the section is unclear at first based on the title of the chapter, but you can quickly see they're discussing the forward-thinking message the show has--how its representation of its creators' experiences has also struck a chord with people who wanted and NEEDED its diversity. 

Zuke says a very wise thing when they state that they want the show to provide "insight . . . not a solution." That's one thing this show does well; it spotlights problems and situations and feelings, but only shows you how those things can be dealt with, not necessarily how they SHOULD, in all cases, be dealt with.

Representation matters, and seeing evidence that you are a part of this world when you're from a marginalized or underrepresented group is valuable in a way that you can only know if you DON'T have it. 

The show's writers also weigh in on good vs. evil and how it's too black and white; that we needed a show with nuance, and has a message of love and tolerance. Kat Morris acknowledges that there are more important things than making a feelsy and entertaining piece of media, but as she says, the point is to let people see themselves in something and be challenged. 

And the creators are able to see at conventions and online that people are responding emotionally, viscerally, to their work. It puts a lot of pressure on an artist to do it right, but in the words of Dogcopter, "Just be true to yourself and people will appreciate your honesty."

The book closes with some photos of the Crew and a few more pages of art. And it kinda leaves you with a squishy feeling. :D

Notable:

1. I was relieved to see Rebecca state it plainly in the foreword: the items you see from the development phases of this show are not to be taken as canon or as "real" insights into how you should interpret it now. She specifically mentioned that she does not consider the Gems "girls" or "goddesses," and that was particularly important to me. 

Throughout, you're supposed to see the contributed bits and in-development pieces in the context of what they were: early drafts, embryonic. We all become different from what we were even though we grew from it and may have roots in it still, but that doesn't mean you can point at the seed and say its flower is meant to be understood surrounded by dirt.

2. The original designs for the Gems fluctuated a lot, and in a couple cases even names flopped around. An early name for Garnet was "Onyx," and if you've seen the pilot, you know Pearl got her signature nose later and Garnet's hair took a while to become the splendid square afro. Amethyst seems to have changed the least. 

Themes were given to them initially (like Amethyst being "flora and fauna," which you can sort of see in her pilot intro with her lying on big cats). You can still see some of the original intentions in how the ideas manifested, but the first ideas do not gel particularly well with what the show became. 

This is particularly interesting because non-creatives commonly think creative people simply receive inspiration and birth their creations into the world wholesale. Inspiration exists, but it's much more common to take an inspired idea and REALLY WORK ON IT. This book's origins section does a great job showing how that works.

3. Some early sketched-out ideas for episodes seem very far from what would fit into the show now (such as an idea for an episode where Pearl is obsessed with the pizza guy??), but one seems to be the roots of "Bubble Buddies," which implies that Steven's original crush was "Priyanka" instead of Connie. (That's now Connie's mother's name.)

4. The pilot's title was "The Time Thing."

5. Initial notes for Garnet say she should have the coolest shoes of the three, that she's commanding and outer-spacey and also weird, and that she's inspired by Grace Jones, boy Michael Jackson, and Estelle in "I Can Be a Freak." 

Initial notes for Amethyst insist on the "fanny pack" pouch and suggest her clothes are cut, her hair is in chunks, and she should have an animal theme with a wild texture. 

Initial notes for Pearl indicate a desire to have her opposite Amethyst in her formal way of dressing and needing to have an outfit that would allow her to be hung upside down, possibly with a pearl stone theme for baubles in her hair. (Rebecca indicated she needed the most help with Pearl.)

6. Early versions of the show included the idea that the Gems might be trying to hide being Gems in public, and that they kept magic away from Steven for the most part instead of encouraging him to use it. 

A "lost" episode about Steven summoning his shield (later incorporated into the episode "Gem Glow") had him saving Greg with it and dreaming about his mother, and having Pearl drive a crappy old car (later incorporated into "Last One Out of Beach City"). Rebecca and Ian reveal that the dream Steven had in it was used a little in "Rose's Room," and that a song called "The Meatball Sub Song" was involved which could have contributed to the show getting picked up despite that we never got to hear it. (Imagine that, Steven singing about food!)

7. There's a note in the early character design section that says "the girls can all turn into Steven" with an accompanying illustration of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl shapeshifted as him. 

Cute, because we actually got to see them do this in the episode "Keep Beach City Weird" with the exception of Pearl.

8. Rebecca Sugar shares an anecdote about thinking there was a "best" way to draw that was objectively correct (influenced by some art-school stuff), and through that she arrived at the idea that Pearl was a cone, Amethyst was a sphere, and Garnet was a cube, because all of those things say something about who they are (pointedness, fluidness, stability). 

She evolved from that idea to a more flexibile idea of how drawing works for different artists, but that was part of what helped her nail the characters down. Steven, eventually, was fixed to having a heart-shaped face.

9. The Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma flyer shown in the episode "Tiger Millionaire," presented as something Steven drew, was actually drawn by Lily DeMayo (daughter of Nick DeMayo, animation director) when she was seven.

10. Guides are made for the Crew to use featuring reminders on drawing the characters. It's kind of adorable to see common drawing errors or misconceptions or inconsistent details discussed in a how-to format for the people who actually work there.

11. A timeline exists for the show and it encompasses TWENTY THOUSAND YEARS of Gem and human history. It was too spoilery to be in the book, but there is a LOT of lore that is laid down, and this tool mentioned in Part 4 established that this document is referenced often to make events make sense in the timeline.

12. It's been established before, but Amethyst's origin in Earth's Prime Kindergarten was not initially known as part of her character when she was invented, and that was discussed in Part 4 of this book--how the writing retreats the Crew takes to discuss the story sometimes result in huge revelations like this. "Oh, that makes sense, that's why we wrote her like that" is one of those things I recognize as a writer--you know a character has a certain vibe, but you don't know what explains it. You just trust that something does. And eventually, sometimes you find out what it is and it all makes sense. Interesting to know they did this with Amethyst.

13. "Lars and Sadie make out even though they're not together" was the basic idea for making "Island Adventure." And the original idea for "Onion Friend" had a "Grandma Shallot" character. 

The writers sometimes play writing games to brainstorm, and those were shared. Some ideas for a story which was later used in "Future Boy Zoltron," covering Mr. Smiley's romance/comedy partnership with an old flame, were shared with more emphasis on the characters being lovers. 

Garnet's part in the story was more explicit too, with her giving people future predictions that are not at all nice or gently delivered, and they have to shut down the business in the wake of Garnet's badassery. Weird. 

Other ideas were used but not as they're presented, like one where Greg learns about fusion from the Gems (but witnessed the fusion of Pearl and Amethyst, not Pearl and Rose), and a complicated one where cross-Gem fusion is a new idea in a flashback and Rose wants Garnet to fuse with her to teach her about it but she's too unsure of her own fusion relationship as such to risk it. The idea was that Pearl would be jealous and Pearl, Rose, and Garnet would actually fuse in the episode. This has not been done in the show.

14. Rebecca Sugar apparently just pops up with concepts she wants the writers to work in. Like "I want Steven to be in a mushroom forest" (which hasn't happened yet) or "I want Steven to have cats on his fingers" (which, obviously, happened early on). Rebecca gets little concepts that are sort of dreamlike, and they figure out which episode they can put them in. Working those things in sometimes seems like as much of a priority as getting plot elements in!

15. I like that they dish a bit about the fan reaction to Garnet's Fusion status. They thought they were being a little too obvious to not get caught, but Ian said the fans figured it out and then got bored of the idea and decided it must be even more complicated than that. People were apparently worried that Garnet would be replaced by her component Gems in the story if she were to unfuse, but obviously since Ruby and Sapphire want to be together, that doesn't happen.

16. Kat Morris's "rules" as discussed in Part 4 are "Garnet never asks questions" and "the story has to stay in Steven's perspective." I love how strict they are about Garnet not asking questions (except in the episode "The Answer," though there have been a couple ~technical~ questions from her; she usually just finds a way to ask a question with a statement, like "tell me what you saw").

17. A great quote from Zuke on the incidentally queer content of the Gems' relationships and gender: "Personally, I'm happy to not have to think, 'I'm writing a character based on my queer experiences.' That would be so hard! I'm just writing from my perspective, and I happen to be queer. I think that's what makes the show feel natural when it comes to that. It's a fine line between defining something so that people are aware it exists, which is so important, but also letting it breathe, so it's not forever contained in a box labeled 'queer media.'"

18. In Part 5, Michaela Dietz relates her experiences as an adoptee to relate to what Amethyst deals with as an "adoptee" into the Crystal Gem family without knowing where she really came from or what it means to be a part of that. She's said this before in some other interviews and panels, so it's not new in general, but it's probably new in print. Deedee Magno Hall, who plays Pearl, obviously relates to Pearl's maternal nature.

19. Tom Scharpling and Charlyne Yi were voice actors that Rebecca specifically had in mind for her characters (Greg and Ruby respectively). Rebecca's illustrated letter to Charlyne explaining Ruby and Sapphire's relationship and Ruby's role on the show is really adorable.

20. Music nerds like me will very much appreciate the photographed notes on music motifs--the Diamonds each have a solfège syllable and a chord (White is F#M7/Sol, Yellow is BM7/Fa, Blue is EM7/Fa, and Pink is AM7/Mi), and Steven's powers and modes are coded with instruments and styles.

21. Some world maps provide new possible insights. Greenland in our world is Blueland in theirs. South America is called Pangea. Aqua Mexico is labeled about where Mexico is in our world. India is the Indian Islands. There's an Australia and a New Australia. A big sea in the middle of Asia is called the Tunguska Sea. Rose's Fountain is in Spain or Portugal; the Sky Spire and Strawberry Battlefield are in Norway; the Shooting Star Shrine is in the middle of the drastically different Asian continent; the Galaxy Warp is in the Tunguska Sea; the Lunar Sea Spire is off the coast of Canada; Mask Island is in the Atlantic near Beach City; the Comm Relay is in the Western United States.

22. It was known from interviews that Shelby Rabara (voice of Peridot) is a dancer and provided the foot sounds and coaching to create the short tap number in the episode "Mr. Greg." But what's great is here, there's a visual reference included! Photos of Shelby doing the dance are lined up next to the drawings of Pearl and Steven in the "Mr. Greg" number doing the steps! She poses in dance moves with her husband for the Greg/Pearl dance for "Both of You" too.

23. There's a really cute story in the last section about Amber Cragg ascending from fan to Crewniverse member through posting Pearl art in response to the pilot and eventually getting contacted to take a board test. That is the kind of thing so many online artists dream of!

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[sushigal007]

Legs To Homeworld

Decided to try something different this time and type my thoughts as I watch instead of at the end. It’s a bit long, so I’m putting it under a read more.

"She's not gonna hurt him." OK who the fuck are you and where's the real Bismuth?

Confirmation that Connie is unaffected by Blue's emo attack and that bit in the last episode was an error, possibly on purpose to make Lapis look even more edgelord, especially as Yellow is affected too.

Steven, Pearl, why would either of you hint to the Diamonds that Pearl knew about this?

Honestly amazed Yellow's first thought isn't to rip out Steven's gem. And no reaction to hearing that Pink was Rose and faked her death? Oh wait, that's because they're trying to redeem them hahahahaha fuck off.

Now Blue's questioning how he survived, a question she could've easily asked at the trial because Lapis, Peridot, the Rubies, Aquamarine and Topaz all reported survivors, so this isn't news to them. Oh wait, they're pretending it is because they're trying to redeem them hahahahaha fuck off.

HAHAHAHA they're trying to pretend them not knowing what the corruption did is OK like they haven't said already that they INTENDED TO OBLITERATE EVERY GEM ON THE PLANET.

So Centi's a Nephrite after all. Aaaaaaand she's APOLOGISING to the Diamonds? Thanks, I hate it.

"How many perfectly adequate gems did you have us ruin?" Legit question from Yellow.

Oh my Gooooood the art is so ugly. I really hope they step it up a notch for the movie, maybe... glance over the model sheets every now and then? Just an idea. Then again... is this gonna be in cinemas, or straight to TV? Just remembering the ugly art some of this Disney straight-to-video movies had.

Wait, just a thought, where are Peridot and Lapis's gems? Are they just lying on the sand in front of the house? Imagine them reforming and finding no-one around and thinking everybody's dead. Or they don't care. Haha, couldn’t possibly be that, the crew have shown such wonderful handling of their characters! But gosh, what a coincidence that they've been benched again just as the cast go to Homeworld. Wow such shock.

HAHAHAHAHAHA IT REALLY WAS A PAIR OF LEGS ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Wait, when did the townies decide to come back? Wait, who gives a shit? Not me. Back on point, I find it a little hard to believe Pink's ship is in better condition after all this time than Blue and Yellow's. They're very lucky Peridot didn't find it when she was on the run. Very very very lucky. Almost unbelievably lucky, you might say. She could've gone back to Homeworld three seasons ago and still had just as much screen time and we might even have seen her in this arc.

OH MY GOD! CONNIE'S PARENTS! THEY'RE FINALLY GETTING PERMISSION FROM CONNIE'S PARENTS! Has somebody from the crew been reading my posts!? Then again... Pearl: I'll be with her the whole time. Me: That's not even remotely comforting. Doctor Maheswaran, you're a doctor! Insist on going too!

Greg: Should I be worried? Me: YES. Jesus! What is WRONG with the parents in this town!?

Oh thank you Bismuth, yes, finally someone with a functioning brain. "You're a lion too." Wouldn't it be great if Steven actually thought about that and realised things would be going very differently right now if Rose Quartz had actually just been a Rose Quartz. The Diamonds are only humoring you because they think you're Pink. They'd kill you all in a heartbeat if that changed. It is literally the only thing keeping you and your friends alive. And the fact that it's even working just proves how utterly mind-boggling stupid Pink's faked death rebellion was. Fuck the Diamonds. (ETA: Anyone gonna bring up those bubbled Rose Quartz gems at any point? Anyone at all?)

Oh good, somebody remembered Peridot and Lapis exist.

Hahaha I hate that ship. The ass ship I mean. As well.

Why does she even have an ass ship? So there's Red Eyes, Hand Ships and Ass. How many body part ships are there? How important do you have to be to get them? I'm guessing it was Jasper who got permission to use a Hand Ship in the Return. White's gonna have a foot, isn't she, and everyone will squeal about the foreshadowing because 'omg they'll have to fight a giant foot just like they said back in S1!!! The crew are best at writing!!!'

Yellow is the best Diamond. Stay obnoxious, Yellow, you irredeemable dictator.

White's Pearl's gem is intact, so I'm guessing that scar is some form of lobotomisation. What's the betting White was smart enough to recognise Pink's Pearl from the beginning and did some tinkering on her own Pearl to remove any sort of free will or rebellious thought?

I'm rather liking White Diamond so far. I think she knew. And you know what? I think SHE thought this was supposed to be a Total Recall situation even if that wasn't what Pink intended. I hope so. I hope she tries to kill them all. I'm so tired of Diamondemption and it's only been 11 minutes.

[technicallyoneofakind]

Ice Cream Break

Author's Note:

This one's inspired by a picture of Swaine giving Pea a piggyback ride.

In any case, on with the show~!

Disclaimer: I own ice cream. It's not flavored by the rights of the game. Therefore, I do not own the rights to the game. Go eat some ice cream- even if it's just frozen juice.

~.~.~

It seemed like everything was moving at quite a rush. The fight to save the three kingdoms from the white ash had been difficult, long, and exhausting. The group had hardly any time to just sit and rest, save for viewing the memories contained in the flowers Pea found.

Now it was on to Nazcaa, wherever that was. Pea knew, so it wouldn't be hard to find. That wasn't the issue, though. It was the sheer amount of stress that weighed on everyone. It was the rush to save the world… again. Eventually, someone was going to snap out of sheer exhaustion if they didn't stop to breathe a little.

At least, those were the thoughts that ran through the thief's mind as he leaned against the wall of the captain's quarters. He called out the largest familiar in his party, Squishy- a giant furry snow beast from the winter isles. He hadn't been treating the yeti to any treats for all its hard work, he realized guiltily. Now was better than ever.

It nuzzled his torso affectionately after he fed it ice cream. "There's a good boy," he cooed softly, petting the big fluffy pushover lovingly. He didn't notice the little queen running toward him.

"Ice cream! Ice cream," she shouted, giggling afterward. She looked up at Swaine, smiling. "Can I have some ice cream?"

For a moment the thief hesitated. Squishy looked at her curiously as its master rubbed the back of his head. Sighing, he called the large familiar back and regretfully looked down at Pea. "Sorry, Pea. That was the last of it," he informed, shrugging.

"Aw…," she whined. She slowly looked down. "I wanted some ice cream…," she complained. "Now it's all gone. All gone."

Swaine looked out to the horizon next to him. He sighed and shook his head before looking back at the child in front of him. "I'm really sorry Pea," he softly apologized. He looked back at the rest of the ship. Esther and Oliver were talking with Marcassin about the upcoming search it seemed.

That's all they ever talked about any more since that whole mess started- how to fix it. Didn't anyone talk about anything else? What about after everything had blown over- if it blew over? At this rate, the chances of them facing this mysterious foe and winning wouldn't be all too high, especially right after what they had just faced.

It was clear- they needed a break from it all. Then there was Pea, little Pea asking for something as simple as ice cream. He snapped his fingers with a wide smile. That was it. He knelt down to the young queen. "I have an idea. We can all get ice cream," he whispered.

Her face brightened up and she giggled. "Really?"

"Yeah, just go tell Oliver and the others to meet me over here, and we'll all go get some, alright," he instructed her kindly. He saw her smile and nod before running off to the other four.

He stood and continued to lean against the wall of the cabin as he observed them. They all seemed confused when they looked back at the rogue. Eventually, they started to walk toward him, Pea leading them all.

"Swaine," Esther began to chastise. "Ice cream? Really? At a time like this," she groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"She has a point, brother. We are in the middle of a crisis," Marcassin began, obviously expecting more from the eldest prince of Hamelin. "We can't just stop and get ice cream."

"Yes, we can. Have you seen you lot? You're all a bundle of nerves," he observed simply. He smirked at the group. "If we all go to save the world without a moments peace of mind now, we're bound to fail," he explained with a raised eyebrow.

"Swaine," Oliver began to protest. "We don't have much of a choice. We have no time to lose. We don't know if the white ash will fall again…"

"The ash won't fall again," Pea announced. She turned to face the group. "We can still find smelly old Nazcaa," she began to argue. "But Pea wants ice cream."

"But, Pea… Are you sure," the young wizard asked.

"She wants ice cream," the thief interjected. "Maybe she wants us to take a break, too… is that right Pea?" He looked down and smiled at the girl. He could only guess, but considering her pattern, the young queen had reasons for everything.

She nodded up at the thief, giggling again.

"Hey, don't plant ideas in her head," Esther warned, pointing at Swaine, glaring at him as she stomped forward.

Pea shook her head and looked back at Esther. "No, Pea wants a break, too. And ice cream," she reinforced.

There was a collective sigh from the group as they looked at the two. Pea casually walked up to Swaine's side and took his hand. "We can get ice cream! Ice cream for everyone," she cheered. She looked up at the thief who chuckled in response to her enthusiasm.

"Yeah, let's go get some ice cream," he calmly encouraged.

"I guess we ent got a choice, do we? There's pushy," the fairy commented, crossing his small arms huffily.

"Perhaps Gascon does have a point, we have been on edge lately. A small break shouldn't hurt us too much," Marcassin reasoned as he put his hand to his chin. "I dare say it might make us more efficient in our pursuits."

Oliver finally nodded in agreement. "We have been kind of going non-stop since this all started." He smiled and nodded. "So, anyone know a good place to get ice cream," he wondered.

Esther raised her hand eagerly. "There's a place in Al Mamoon," she cheered. "They sell all sorts of ice cream there!" Her demeanor broke when she heard Swaine snicker. "What," she growled.

"Oh, nothing, Esther. You just really seem excited about ice cream all of a sudden," he noted, amused at her sudden change of attitude.

She rolled her eyes. "Must you be so… Ugh," she groaned irritably. The thief had a way of pressing all the wrong buttons.

The young wizard nodded affirmatively, took out his wizard's companion, and began to cast travel. "Let's go," he shouted as they disappeared.

They stood in front of the stand ordering ice cream. Esther decided on a ruby ripple cone, Oliver a babana split, and Drippy had vanilla with sprinkles.

"Real tidy this is," the fairy claimed as he began to devour the frozen treat.

The thief couldn't help but smirk as he watched them all dive into their own specific order of ice cream. He turned to Pea who patiently waited for the others. "What would you like, Pea," he requested, crouching to her level.

She giggled and swiveled back and forth in place. "Vanilla." She grinned at him.

"One vanilla? Got it." He stood to order, facing the ice cream merchant. He felt a tug on his jacket and looked down at the green haired girl. She held two fingers up at him.

"Two scoops," she demanded through a smile.

"Oh," Swaine questioned, raising both eyebrows. "Can you eat that many," he jested, holding a hand out to the street.

"Pea can eat a lot of ice cream," she argued, defiantly pouting. She crossed her arms as she glared up at the man.

He feigned shock, stepping back from her. He shook his head and he couldn't help but laugh. He found her little fit adorable. "Okay, keep your hair on." He turned to the merchant and made the order, exchanging the guilders from his ration of cash.

The merchant handed him a cone with two scoops of vanilla, as promised, in a sheet of paper. He handed it to Pea. "One vanilla ice cream cone with two scoops," he announced. "Just for you, Queen Pea."

She smiled and began to eat the ice cream. She looked up at the former prince and thanked him for the ice cream.

"So," Oliver began as he watched the Swaine order his. "What are you guys going to do after this is all over?"

For a moment the others stopped eating their cold treats to think. Esther was the first to pipe up.

"I'm probably going to open a biiiig farm for familiars! Then people can come and adopt them as pets," she announced. "I think it would be so exciting," she fantasized before taking another bite out of the side of the cone. "What about you, Oliver," she wondered with her mouth still full. She swallowed. "Do you have any plans?"

Oliver looked down at the remainder of his babana split in thought. "I dunno. Probably just keep going to school…," he guessed, realizing he had spent most of his summer saving the world. "But then I also want to help Phil build the world's fastest car!" He looked up at the sky, a determined look on his face.

Marcassin, who had paused from eating his toadstool sundae looked up. "'Car'? You mean those machines people were riding in in your world, Oliver?"

"Yeah. Those! We'll build the fastest car in the world! It'll be really neat-o," he enthusiastically cheered.

"Too bad no one can see us. I'd love to help," Swaine stated as he leaned against the wall. He took a bite off the scoop on top.

Oliver awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Umm… Yeah… Sorry, guys," he began, looking between the two brothers. "It's kind of me and Phil's thing, y'know." He shrugged and quickly took another scoop of the split.

"I get it." The thief nodded empathetically. He recalled the same feeling he had when he and Marcassin built the model hog tank. It was something just between them.

"What about you, Swaine," Oliver asked, tilting his head to look the man in question.

The thief stopped eating his ice cream cone for a second. "Not sure… Might go and travel around some more," he thought aloud as he idly turned the cone in his hand. He scoffed and smirked at Oliver. "Then again, maybe I'll settle down somewhere. You lot have managed to give me enough excitement to last me for ten lifetimes!" He chuckled as he took a bite out of the side of his ice cream cone. "Perhaps… I might just go back to Hamelin," he suggested after he swallowed. This caught his brother's attention.

"Would you," the sage hesitantly wondered, looking up at his brother. "What would you do, brother?"

The thief shrugged, mouth full. "Who knows," he said through his chewing.

The group was silent as they each finished their individual orders of ice cream.

"What does Pea want to do after we save the world," Oliver asked, looking at Pea who had managed to eat most of the cone and had just put the last of it in her mouth.

Pea looked up at the young wizard curiously. "Flowers! I want to fill the world with flowers," she cried happily.

"…Flowers," the boy questioned, confused. "Like the flowers you've been finding, Pea?"

She nodded and spread her arms out over her head. "So many lovely flowers, Oliver! I want them everywhere!"

With that thought in mind, the thief looked at the paper left over from the cone. It would be a long time until she could do that. He set himself to work, attempting at a temporary solution.

"That sounds nice, Pea," the blonde complimented. "I hope we can help."

Finally finished with the task he had set himself to, Swaine caught their attention. "I might have something," he hinted. He held out a paper flower- a lotus.

The group marveled at it curiously. The thief was full of surprises, they found. Even his brother was shocked to see this unprecedented development.

"When did you-," Marcassin began, eyes wide. "I don't remember you mastering paper crafts, Gascon."

Swaine rolled his eyes. "You know these hands didn't become nimble just by tinkering and thieving, don't you? I kind of went through a phase, if that's what you want to call it." He sighed exasperatedly. This was why some talents went unnoticed- it sometimes meant bringing up the past.

Dodging their curious questions, he turned and presented the flower to Pea. "For you, Pea," he graciously offered. "Until you can achieve that dream, anyway."

She giggled and took the flower, admiring it. "Silly bean! I meant real flowers," she complained, though grateful for his gift. "Thank you, bean man."

"I'm not a bean," he corrected, standing back up. He put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at her new name for him.

"You are, too! You're a silly bean," she shot back.

"Am not," he returned, crossing his arms. He looked away from the little girl in a mock huff.

"Are too. Silly bean," she continued, swaying back and forth. "You're a tall silly bean!"

"Is this because I called you 'Bean' the first time we met," he curiously wondered, feigning annoyance as he turned back to face her. He loved messing with her out of good fun. It was like having a little sister.

She nodded. "Mm-hmm!" She pointed up at him with one hand. "Silly bean!"

He finally gave and chuckled. "Fine… I'm a 'silly bean'." He smiled down at the young queen and ruffled her hair. "And you're a silly Pea," he retorted.

She laughed, smiling joyously. She held the paper flower close to her chest, almost treasuring it. "It's not real, but it's still pretty," she admired it, holding it up to the light.

"Well, I'm glad you like it, Pea." He couldn't help but smile fondly at the child. It felt good to have someone admire his handiwork now and again. It felt good to be appreciated.

"They seem to get along well," Esther observed, watching as Swaine joked and played along with whatever Pea had in mind. "I guess Swaine really does have a soft side."

Marcassin nodded next to her, smiling at the sight of the thief making another flower for her, this time showing her the process. She seemed enthralled with each fold he made. "Indeed. He has had practice, after all, in the affairs of looking after a younger sibling." He laughed when he saw Pea take the new flower from Swaine, comparing it with its predecessor. "I'm glad to see that part of him is still alive and well."

Oliver shrugged and looked at the sage. "I guess we've all changed, haven't we?"

"Well after a journey like this one, I doubt any of us could stay the same," Swaine noted, smirking.

"Oi, he's right! It just ent possible, mun! You'd have to be a fairy to get through all this without it affecting ya," Drippy agreed from his place below everyone. "Even there's a stretch."

The thief, the harpist, the wizard, the sage and the queen all nodded in agreement. "After this, so much will change, won't it," Oliver wondered.

"Well, not if we don't get moving," the rugged man indicated. "If you lot are ready to get started again, I'm all for it." He leaned against a wall, eying the group.

"Now look who's in a rush," Esther argued, pointing at Swaine accusingly.

"Hey… we just stopped to get ice cream, remember? There's still a powerful being out there ready to wreak havoc on us at a moment's notice," the thief reminded them, closing one eye.

The sage nodded in agreement. "Yes, we've had our break. It's time we continue our search."

The two kids nodded at the ruler. Oliver turned to Pea. "Ready to find Nazcaa," he inquired encouragingly.

The child nodded energetically with a confident smile. "Let's find Nazcaa!"

Their break was over, then. It was off to Nazcaa shortly after that brief moment of peace and relaxation. It was off to find Cassiopeia and save the world. The rush continued on, but everyone with steadier focus.

~.~.~

A/N:

Ah, yes. The end of another drabble… Short one this time. I like the idea of Swaine acting like an older brother. Despite his profession it fits his character surprisingly well.

[actualmuslimwomen]

CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

1.1. Purpose of the Research

    Muslim women in the society are often misperceived, especially in most of the Western society. Affairs on Muslim women in the world are the illustrations of how the Western society treats the women. For example, after the 9/11 incident many Muslims were affected by severe discriminations from the surroundings. One of the Muslims, Amani Al-Khatahtbeh, a young girl from New Jersey, the U.S., who has lived her life in pre- and post-incident, witnessed her surrounding attitudes towards her turning different. In the same year of the incident, it was the first time she received racial slurs. As Al-Khatahtbeh grew, she felt overwhelmed by an intense feeling of alienation from the American society (Al-Khatahtbeh, 2016). Another case of Muslim women came from France. The French Government released a bill that prohibited any women from wearing full-face veil. A member of jurisdiction administrative, the Rapporteur public considered that 'wearing the full veil is not a requirement of the Quran, but a custom, and therefore falls within the cultural, and not the religious, domain. It is on this level that the said custom is designed to keep women under men's domination, and by this very fact, is inconsistent with the Republican principles that the law seeks to uphold.' (Fornerod, 2013: 71) Another small example was a case mentioned in Michael Penn's article. As reported in the Daily Yomiuri newspaper, an Indonesian woman who was working in eastern Japan as a trainee at a sewing factory was forced to sign a note promising neither to pray at company facilities nor to fast for Ramadan. Employers also kept her in prison-like conditions, prohibiting her from owning a phone, having guests, or sending or receiving letters. The Daily Yomiuri quoted a Japanese human rights activist as speculating that "the prohibitions were likely to be enforced in the service of two aims: [to raise] worker efficiency and [to] prevent [the trainees] from escaping." (Penn, 2008: 97)

    With a few example cases of Muslim women above, it may be imagined that some Western or Westernized societies in the world consider that Islam, as a religion, is an obstruction in the ordinary life. Japan, a country located in East Asia, is also considered as a country with innumerable cases related to Muslims. As a fact, it was estimated in 2004 that the non-Japanese Muslim population residing in Japan ranged from sixty to seventy thousand people, of which the majority were men (Sakurai, 2008: 71), which increased from around fifty thousand people in 2003 (Kojima, 2006: 117-119). This also means that the population of Muslims, including the Japanese Muslims, is increasing every year. It also means that, with the increasing of Muslim residents in Japan the more Muslims are involved in the Japanese labor market in order to survive. But, looking at the female trainee's case mentioned above, it seems that the Japanese society is still dismayed with Muslim women. This could also be considered as a cultural shock for the Japanese society. But, if it is seen through the Muslim women's eyes, just like many other cases of Muslim women in the rest of the world, these women originally only wanted to defend their identity. As Belinda Green mentioned in her study regarding Muslim women in Australia, the Muslim women resisted forms of exclusion by defending their place in the Australian neoliberal setting through their participation in the education and labor markets. The women also equated being Muslim and the practice of Islam as a vehicle for them to be productive and law abiding Australian citizens (Green, 2012: 62). 

    While reviewing the cases mentioned above as those of misperceived Muslim women especially in the Japanese society, further research on this issue is necessary to seek the reality of these Muslim women. It is important to collect data on Muslim women's ordinary life in the Japanese society as a supplement of knowledge of Islam. Therefore, in this thesis, I planned to conduct research by approaching a series of stories from different Muslim women staying in Japan with diversity of backgrounds. The Muslim women who cooperated with this research would tell about their life and show their feelings and passion through their efforts in blending with the Japanese society. Thus, a primary research question appeared, namely how do the Muslim women maintain their identities both as a Muslim and a civil citizen in Japan? The main purpose of this thesis is to understand, the values of the Muslim women, the reasons behind their actions and behaviors in their daily life and the way they overcome their issues as a Muslim themselves and as a civil citizen.

1.2. Literature Reviews

    To conduct my research, several previous research works were used as reference in deciding the subject of research and the research methods used. I have mainly used three preceding research works. They are summarized and reviewed as follow:

1. Immigrant Muslim Women and the Hijab: Sites of Struggle in Crafting and Negotiating Identities in Canada (Ruby, Tabassum, 2004)

Research objective: To examine the hijab’s meanings from the viewpoint of immigrant Muslim women living in Saskatoon, Canada.

Research method: Using focus groups method on fourteen women from different countries, which let the interviewer observe the discussion among the informants and audio tape them. 

Result: Some of the women who wore hijab stated that they wanted to keep hijab as a device that protected them from a sexist society (in this case, Canada) and to be accepted as Canadian, despite of their original nationality backgrounds. Some of the women who did not wear hijab stated that their choice of not wearing was because they did not want to draw attention from the society. They also stated that their relationship with God was a personal matter, and that it was unconnected to the visible marker of a headscarf.

Review: The research work of Tabassum Ruby focused on the immigrant Muslim women and the usage of their hijabs. The results showed more about the reasons why some chose to wear and why some chose not to wear hijab. The method that was used to collect the data was focus group, interviewing a group of women at once and recorded their stories. To correlate to this thesis, this was basically the closest theme to my research theme, which was about Muslim women and a little about the hijab. Advantages and disadvantages of living in a non-Muslim country were also mentioned, but I expected, in my own research, that the advantage part might be uncovered more. Therefore, in my research, I planned to shed more light on some of the positive sides of living in a non-Muslim country as Muslims. Ruby's research method also seemed interesting, but there were some weaknesses in the focus group method in my view. The first was regarding the informants' answers that might be affected among each other and the original answer might be altered in the middle unconsciously. The second was that it might be hard to make notes with many people answering almost at the same time. The third one was the difficulty in recognizing the informants in their recorded answers, and there were possibilities that one or two people might have the same voice tone. In order to avoid these difficulties, I preferred a one-on-one interview so that the whole story can be captured well without being interrupted by anybody or by anything.

2. Wearing the Veil: Hijab, Islam and Job Qualifications as Determinants of Social Attitudes Towards Immigrant Women in Norway (Strabac, Zan, Toril Aalberg, Anders Todal Jenssen & Marko Valenta, 2016)

Research objective: To analyze the local people's negative attitudes towards the immigrant Muslim women especially in hijab in Norway, regarding their formal job qualifications.

Research method: Web survey using survey-embedded experiment (a brief description on each sub-sample, accompanied by a photograph). The descriptions on the sub-samples are provided with hypothetical description (such as hijab/non-hijab, level of education, work experience) in order to see if differences in attitudes are dependent on level of qualification.

Result: From three categories (a. job qualifications of immigrant women; b. family reunion; c. cultural incompatibility) in general, the results show that having hijab is somewhat more negatively viewed than the unveiled Muslim or Christian immigrants. Having higher education does not strongly reduce the negative effects of wearing hijab and that immigrant women who choose to wear it may face increased skepticism in Norway, irrespective of their class position.

Review: The research is interesting because it tells about the non-Muslim society's attitude and prejudice towards Muslim women. I think that, if the above study is used as a model research, the readers will be able to know about the Japanese society's direct opinions on Muslim women in Japan, especially regarding job qualifications, because many Muslim women are also working or trying to look for work in Japan. That is why this work was used as reference. But, the method used in their work was rather difficult to apply. The survey-embedded experiment method needs creating experimental situations and such experiments usually need a lot of samples to have wanted results. This kind of research might only be done if the researcher is more than one person or in a group and it might take a long time to collect data from respondents. Furthermore, not all the respondents sent the survey sheet would answer the questions. I avoided applying this research method because of my limited time and experiences and human resources in conducting my research.

3. Japan as an Emerging Multicultural Society: Exploring Contemporary Minority Issues Through the Case of Muslim Immigrants (Vestre, Eskil Olaf, 2011)

Research objective: To understand the reasons for the difficulties and challenges that Japan is now experiencing through the case of Muslim immigrants.

Research method: Historical approach to discourse analysis, which identifies patterned ways of thinking in textual and verbal communications especially through history.

Result: At the workplace and elsewhere, foreign Muslims may struggle with assimilation pressure. Muslim immigrants may, after living in Japan for extended periods, feel that the gap between their culture and that of the host society is decreasing, but the mainstream society still seems to be reluctant to accept them, and their ‘otherness’ is often over-emphasized and new characteristics of 'otherness' might even be invented. These ‘otherness’ includes negative judgments of characteristics such as dark skin, beards or hijabs. Work problems specific to Muslims can include being denied requests to do lighter work during the Ramadan or have multiple breaks for prayer (take many breaks) at work. Some have even been fired for these reasons. 

Review: Vestre's work about immigrant Muslim issues in Japan is very interesting. It exposes the identity of the Muslims and the problems that they face in their daily life. The theme seemed to be related a lot with my research theme, but it rather highlighted the Muslim immigrants in general, men and women, while my research will focus on Muslim women. The method used by Vestre is also persuading, because a lot of studies based either on textual or verbal data strengthen the theory or data discussed in the work. 

    Based on reviewing the preceding works above, I have decided to use a method that I thought would be more suitable to be used in this research. Especially in describing the experiences of the Muslim women interviewed, the emotions and feelings seemed important to be captured, too in my view. Therefore, I decided to employ a method that allowed me to have direct contacts with the informant so that their expressions and emotions could be properly transmitted to me. The research methodology I employed will be described next.

1.3. Research Methodology

    After reviewing some of the related literature, I found that a considerably suitable research method for my research theme was using the ethnographic interview method. According to Eriksson and Kovalainen, ethnographic research takes a cultural lens to study people's lives within their communities (recited from Hammersley and Atkinson, 2007; Fetterman, 2010). The roots of ethnography lie in anthropological studies that focused on studying social and cultural aspects of small communities in foreign countries. The researchers lived among the inhabitants with the purpose of understanding the culture that these people shared. Thus, the classic anthropologists were foreigners in their field sites. It often took years for them to get into the culture of the community that they were studying. In order to do so, they had to learn the language necessary for socializing with the inhabitants and understanding their daily habits, rituals, norms and actions (Eriksson and Kovalainen, 2016: 149). In other words, in ethnographic method, it is necessary to be watchful with a broader perspective in collecting the data, to understand the meanings of people's speech, behaviors, and related phenomena in general (Tomizawa, 2012: 112). So, the ethnographic interview can be regarded as part of the ethnographic method. It is an interview where the interviewer would follow the pace of the informant during the interview. Basically, it is essential to respect what the informant wants to say, while patiently exploring the common ground between the interviewee and the interviewer centering around his/her research theme. The data collecting could be done in such a way. (Tomizawa, 2012: 120.) The data that have been collected are then deeply described using the ethnographic writing. Ethnographic writing, according to Eriksson and Kovalainen, includes a lot of detailed description presented in narrative form (recited from Fetterman, 2010). Watson (1994), Rosen et. al. (2000) and De Rond (2008) are good examples of this. The purpose of description is to let the reader know what happened in the field, what it was like from the participant's point of view to be there, and what particular events or activities were interesting and worth exploring further. A detailed description and quotations are essential qualities of ethnographic accounts (Eriksson and Kovalainen, 2016: 160).

    Based on the researched method described above, I planned to conduct ethnographic interviews with some Muslim women as shown below:

    Interview Period    : July-September 2017

    Area of Interview    : Shizuoka City, Shizuoka, Japan

    Informants              : 10 Muslim women of different nationalities

                                     (5 housewives, 5 students)

    The interview took place depending on the informants' requests and each interview was estimated to take within 1-2 hours while being recorded. Before interviewing, I attempted to contact the informants beforehand and sent them a consent form to allow me to record the interview along with the question guidelines in order to prevent the informants from thinking too long in answering each question when the interview was conducted. The recorded interview each was then transcribed into a narrative profile, which will be shown later in the next chapter. These profiles of each informant were then analyzed in their daily ethnographic contexts. 

    The reason for choosing Muslim women who live in Shizuoka as informants was that I was interested in the living conditions of the Muslim minorities and that the population of Muslims in Shizuoka was considered quite a few (estimated approximately two hundreds according to the foreigners' data from Shizuoka City Hall, 2016). Since I am currently residing in Shizuoka, I also often see Muslim women from various countries in Shizuoka City. Another reason for choosing Muslim women as my informants was due to my own experiences in the Japanese society. For example, I have an experience of having been subject to a little act of discrimination and wished to know if other Muslim women in Shizuoka City had any similar experience or not. But, I did not want to limit my informants to students only, thus expanding the range of my research to include housewives too, for, I thought, it would be interesting to be able to understand different experiences and perspectives of students and housewives as well. The next table shows my informants' data.

(The names above are in pseudonym in order to protect the informants' privacy)

[shippingtheswann]

MODEL BEHAVIOR A Captain Swan modern AU  by @shippingtheswann​ for the @captainswanbigbang​ 2017 year!

SUMMARY: Emma is an up and coming model living in LA with her best friend Ruby. Killian is a star baseball player for the LA Dodgers. Their families are close - and they grew up together. However, what happens after not seeing each other for 6 years - when they are forced back into a situation that requires them to reconnect and explore what was once there.

RATING: Explicit

WARNING: There will be smut later in the story, some mention of violence, hard language, mention of pregnancy loss

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Special shout out to Monica @acaptainswaneternity​ - the artist with this story. I have loved everything she has done for me - so make sure to check her out! She made an amazing cover and the best image sets for each chapter.

Another huge shout out to Nicola @alocin209��� who beta read everything and tried to keep me on target!

Can also be found on FF - Chapter One; Chapter Two; Chapter Three; Chapter Four; Chapter Five; Chapter Six; Chapter Seven; Chapter Eight; Chapter Nine; Chapter Ten

A/N: Welcome to the end. I hope you have enjoyed the adventures we went on and the story I wrote. I know many of you are going to kill me for how I ended the story, but don't hate me too much!

Since we are at the end, I have to give another huge shout out to Monica and Nicola who helped with the story a thousand times over. I couldn't have done it without them!

Waking up in Killian's arms the next morning was everything Emma thought it would be and so much more. It was still hard for her to believe that all of this was true, that she finally got what she used to wish for. They had had an amazing date, where he was nothing but a gentleman who doted on her and made her feel like she was worthy of something. Their dinner was filled with laughter and memories. In fact, Emma couldn't remember a time where she had more fun on a date. Sure, her only comparison was Neal, who never made her feel the way Killian did, but still, it was something. Then, coming back to her childhood home, only to be wrapped in Killian's strong arms and to feel the emotions he had for her, was mind boggling.

Halfway during the night, after the second round of sex that Killian was able to fit in, when Emma had to pee, she found herself worrying that it was all too good to be true. Everything was starting to fall into place and that was something she wasn't quite sure was possible. Maybe she was sick and this was all a fever dream and she was really back in LA with Ruby, doped up on Nyquil. Maybe she had a tumor, creating these magical scenarios in her mind that weren't real. All she knew was that there was no way in hell that this was at all possible. Her life was too fucked up for it to finally be good.

As she stood in the doorway watching Killian slumber, she did find herself pinching her arm, just to make sure this was all real. The pain was there. Emma couldn't help but smile, knowing that even though the past was screwed up, that they both had demons they had to constantly face, that they both had past lives that defined them, they had found each other. They had finally come back to what was right, what made sense.

Damn it, her mother was right. Love does find its way back to you when you least expect it. Emma caught herself using the term, and it didn't surprise or worry her as much as she feared. Love, she realized, was something that had always been lingering between them. Even when they were just friends, Emma knew she loved Killian Jones. The only difference was the fact that Emma finally knew what that love meant.

What she was feeling for him now was different than what she felt then. Sure, there was the normal feeling of joy whenever she was around him, the feeling that life just wasn't the same without him in it. But now, there was more. It was like life didn't make sense without him in it. Maybe that was why she had so many problems in LA, with her mom, with friends. Maybe without Killian to talk to, to support her, her life just didn't work.

Now that he had reappeared, at a time when she really did need him, things started to fall into place. She had made up with her mom, in fact she thought that their relationship would actually grow over the next few weeks, and that was something she wasn't prepared for. She had finally realized just how shitty her old friends were. She had finally come to terms with everything that had happened in their past.

It was all going fast though, she knew that. To think that she had fallen in love with him this quickly was a bit scary. But, she also knew that it was right. She had loved him before, so falling back into these feelings was normal. At least that is what she told herself.

She wasn't just scared because it was quick. She was scared because of what it could all mean. Yesterday, she told him to just let everything fall where it may, to go with the flow, to not worry. Now, things were different. She understood his trepidation about their relationship. She knew how much Neal's escapades hurt her and she knew that if anything was to happen with Killian, she would shatter completely. There was no coming back from this, there was nothing after.

She wouldn't tell him of these feelings, not yet. She would wait till they were on solid ground. She also couldn't help but think that these feelings were just because of the intimacy they shared the previous night. It was the post-coital glow and hormones that were making her feel this way. In the morning, in the harsh light of day, maybe she wouldn't feel like this. The emotion may still be there, but not as strong. It could also change over the next few weeks. They could find out that they just don't work together, that this time they shared was just because of a forced situation.

She hoped none of that was true, but this was her fashion. She always did this. Better to prepare for something that may never happen, then not be prepared at all. Better to hide your true feelings until everything is certain, than to jump head first into shallow water.

All of those thoughts though were for tomorrow, for a different day. For now, she just wanted to be in bed with the man who had given her the best orgasms of her life, and maybe get another one before her parents showed up.

Over the next three weeks things progressed traditionally. Emma is pretty sure her parents knew about her and Killian. She was expecting one of them to at least throw a fit about them sharing a bathroom, which would in turn have them learning they were sharing a bedroom. They were hoping they were keeping that particular fact a secret, but she was starting to notice the looks her mother kept throwing at her. They tore through her in a way she didn't think possible; it was like her mother knew exactly what Emma was feeling. It was like her mother could feel Emma's worry, fear, happiness, and even the giddiness that came from the playful smiles Killian would flash her. Her father must know as well, but didn't change his behavior at all. That surprised Emma, especially since she had always been daddy's little girl.

Henry knew for sure. He had caught them about a week later. Emma thought she had woken early enough to sneak downstairs for some coffee to surprise Killian. She didn't think to use her own bedroom door. So when she quietly exited Killian's room, with his shirt on, she was not expecting her little brother to be waiting for her. He was leaning against the wall across from the room, his PJs still on and rumpled. He looked just like their dad did in the mornings. His hair stuck out in random places and his face still showed the sleep it had just woken from.

She felt like the silence between them lasted for hours, when in reality it was probably only seconds. Henry was staring at her and she was unable to read his face. Was he pissed? Was he surprised? Did he even care? There was no smile on his face, just a flat line where his lips were pressed together. His brow wasn't furrowed, but it wasn't fully relaxed either.

"Well, well, well, well, well," he finally said in a slow voice that sounded almost accusatory.

"Henry, it's not…" she began before being interrupted.

"What I think? What I think is that you have been sleeping with Killian behind my back. What I think is that you've been dating him since you got back and you haven't told me. What I think is that you owe me big, like taking me out for drinks in LA big. Definitely big enough that I don't tell mom and dad what you all have been doing in the late night hours," he said as he finally smiled, letting Emma finally be able to piece together that her brother was jokingly trying to blackmail her.

"You little shit," Emma huffed under her breath, unsure if she should take him seriously or not. She could see the playfulness in his eyes now, but something also told her that he meant business.

"Hey, how else am I really going to experience LA. The true LA. You would never take me to a real bar if I didn't have something to force your hand," he said slyly.

"Fine, but not one word to mom or dad, and I'm only taking you to the bar, I'm not supplying you with anything," she countered.

"I don't know sis, I mean, I don't think mom would appreciate her bedding getting ruined in the way it has been. Think of all those poor sheets have been through. You know how she feels about those Laura Ashley prints," he replied.

Of course he would have a counter offer. He was going to milk this for all it was worth. Even if he seemed OK with what was happening between his sister and the neighbor, he was still going to use it to get what he wanted. She had taught him too well.

"Fine, one drink," she said, extending her hand out to him.

"One drink, but if I have to hear you two again in the middle of the night, you will owe me more," he said, shaking her hand and shocking her at the same time.

"What?" she bit out, petrified that the whole house had heard them earlier.

Yesterday, Killian had taken her down to the amusement park. It was a long ride, but so worth it. She hadn't seen him that much during the week, as baseball practice and time with his family took up much of his free time. She didn't mind though. She could tell being back on the field and back in somewhat good graces with his family was helping him heal. She even noticed him and his father talking during the week at a dinner. She wondered what they would be like at the traditional Nolan/Jones meal later that day.

They had spent the day riding rides and getting wet, in a non intimate way. Sure, Killian still found a way to turn everything Emma did into a innuendo, but it made her laugh, so she didn't mind. He held her hand tight on the roller coaster, cursing her as he did. He hated them, but Emma really loved them. She loved the feeling of her hair flying behind her. She loved the feeling the loops gave her stomach when she was at the very top of them. Killian, on the other hand, called them death traps and refused to get on them until Emma made him a deal he couldn't refuse. If he got on the ride with her now, she would show him a better ride later that night.

She blushed as she thought about it. The rest of the day was a blur to her, as her mind couldn't help but picture what was in store for them when they got back to the Nolan household. Since their night together, they indulged themselves every chance they got. They knew they had to be quiet though, as the walls in the Nolan house were pretty thin and her mother had a tendency to be nosy. She almost didn't make it an hour, she wanted to jump his bones right there outside a gross and disgusting public restroom in the park. He would have probably been down for it too. She was also tempted to pull him into one of the changing stalls near the water park of the amusement area, but decided against it as there were too many witnesses.

However, spending the next four hours watching him move around in his board shorts, his muscles flexing as he lifted the tubes up for their ride, drove her insane with need. She was going to show him a good ride that night, if she could only hold it together a while longer.

She knew he was having a hard time too, considering what she was wearing. She heard the audible gasp from him as she stepped out from the changing area, her bikini on full display. Emma knew the reason for the gasp, it was the same reason why she was a finalist for the new Victoria's Secret show. Her body perfectly filled out the yellow bikini. Her lines were toned and tanned just enough, yet she was curvy enough to be real. She remembered the compliment he gave her as he stepped into the dressing room himself. He had told her she was the most beautiful creature on the planet and he was one lucky bastard to get her all to himself.

After the water park, they gathered with the crowd at the main plaza to watch the water show and fireworks. Killian held her in his arms the entire time, not wanting to let go. She felt at peace; she felt home. Her head fit perfectly against his shoulder. Once, she had tried to do this with Neal, but his shoulder was too bony and he complained that her hair was in his face and was annoying him. Killian on the other hand, turned right into her hair. She knew he loved the smell of it. He pulled her closer as he took a deep breath, then rested his head on hers.

"This was a perfect day love, I am so glad I got to spend it with you," was all she heard before the fireworks began, causing them both to look up in awe.

After the longest car ride home of her life, she was finally able to give Killian her thanks. She thought they got home late enough that everyone had already gone to bed. She knew they couldn't be too loud, but the way Killian used his tongue against her clit, she couldn't help but shout out her first orgasm.

He had taken her by surprise; as soon as they walked into his room, he had her pinned against the door and her pants off in a flash. He was lapping at her like a man with a purpose within two minutes. His tongue was doing things to her it has never done before and she was starting to realize that he had skills she would never tire of. In the back of her mind, she couldn't help but thank Milah, since she must have taught him some of this. He was so talented with his fingers, with his tongue, and with his cock, that she knew the woman who once broke his heart also taught him how to pleasure a woman.

As his fingers came up to join his tongue on their assault of her hardened nub, she came crashing down, but he never stopped. Killian kept licking, kept stroking, two of his fingers pulsing in and out of her hot core in a desperate fashion. It was like he needed her to come again, and quickly. She knew she couldn't hold in the pleasure any longer, and she must have screamed louder than necessary.

By the end, he had made her come twice more like that, pinned against the door while he worshipped her on his knees. She would have marks in the morning along her back and her legs felt like they were going to melt away any second, but she knew he wasn't done with her. He scooped her up and brought her to the bed, where he made her come two more times as he thrusted his cock into her.

She didn't think there were any additional ways for Killian to take her, not after the week of fucking they had done. He had taken her in just about every way imaginable. She was sore, but properly so. Never had a soreness felt so right and so good. Earlier in the week, he had taken her in the shower, something Neal had never done. It was a whole new experience, and one she wanted to relive soon. As Killian moved around her, she imagined her licking the droplets of water off of his skin, just as he had done to her. Her hands instinctively went to her soaking nub. She knew she would be so sore in the morning, that she would need a nice hot bath to rejuvenate her body, but it was all worth it.

"Love, I don't remember giving you permission to touch yourself," he scolded her as he moved into position.

Killian wasn't that type of lover, but she enjoyed the little game they had. It wasn't that he didn't like her touching herself, in fact he loved it. But in those moments, he always wanted her pleasure for himself.

"I wouldn't have to if you just took me already," she scolded him.

"Aye, that is just what I was about to do," he said, sliding into her.

Her wanting core gave no resistance to his cock. She was fully ready for him and a loud moan escaped her lips as his cock entered her. She was laying on her side, facing away from him. His lips at her neck and his hand holding her leg over his, just high enough to allow him to penetrate her deeply. He knew just what she needed, and it was always deep and hard. She had to feel him at all times, taking her, marking her, making her his.

Within minutes she was coming again, simply from the force of his cock sliding in and out of her wet quim. Never before had she come from just a cock. She used to always need the external stimulation, but Killian was not normal. She wasn't normal with him. She shook around him as he slowed his pace to begin to build her back up.

When she came for the last time, with his fingers playing with the other hole and with him now behind her, slamming into her hard, he came too, with a cry that she was almost sure could wake the neighborhood. She didn't care though, she was in such a state of euphoria that nothing around her but him mattered.

"Henry, I'm sorry, I… we… didn't… you…" she wasn't quite sure what to say to her little brother.

She knew he wasn't so sheltered that he didn't know what sex was or even what it was like, but still. She was his big sister and it was her job to protect him, to make sure she didn't scar him for life.

"It's OK Emma. I'm an eighteen year old boy you know, it's not like I haven't heard those sounds before. All I am saying is that if I have to hear it again, you will owe more so much more, because if I heard it, you know mom and dad probably did too," he said, winking.

"I'm sorry," she began, sliding down her wall to sit in the hallway, her brother mimicking her, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about Killian and I, and I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"It's fine, really. I kind of knew something was going on with you guys when you first got home. I just figured you would tell me if it became serious. But after hearing that, I decided to use it to my advantage. Two birds, one stone and all of that." She smiled at him. He really had grown up.

"So, why don't you also make it up to me by taking me to Starbucks with you and getting me a drink? We have a lot to catch up on," he offered, as he rose from his position.

"That we do kid, that we do."

They always had dates on the weekends, leaving the week wide open for Kilian to recover from practices, time for both of their families, and time to just relax. It had been years since Emma got to just sit around and do nothing. Normally, if she tried back in LA, she would find something she needed to work on. The laundry needed doing, the dishes had to be washed or grocery shopping sometimes. Often she would find that Ruby needed her help with something. But at home, Emma could sleep in as late as she wanted and just relax during the day. Her mother did everything that Emma would normally worry about.

For the first time in what seemed like centuries she was able to actually read a book, like really sit down and read it. She normally had a book when she went on photo shoots or casting calls, but rarely was she able to get lost in them. She tried to read on the plane rides when she had a special photo shoot, but half the time it made her sick and the other half she had friends, if you could call them that, along for the ride.

She was needing to get through the latest in her favorite series, especially since the final season was about to premiere. Unlike the book, the show was religiously watched by Ruby, Lacey and herself. Half the time they had a little party every Sunday to celebrate. They would drink to their hearts desires and discuss which character was the hottest and who was going to die that week.

She was also able to actually lounge by a pool. Their neighborhood boasted a community pool. It had been years since Emma had actually been to it, refusing to go during high school as it seemed like such a juvenile place to go. Instead, her and her friends would use someone's private pool or head out on the river. Just like with her house, the pool was just how she remembered it, except for the addition of a water slide for the kids and some additional sunning areas. She used to love sitting out in the sun and just letting it warm her soul.

Thankfully, her mother instilled in her a need for sunscreen. Emma was always lathered up in at least SPF 50, keeping her skin at a perfect color and never allowing her to burn. She also never stayed out too long, just enough to lull her into a sleepy state before she would return home for a nap.

The sun felt good and refreshing. It reminded her of just why she came home in the first place. She needed to get away from LA, from the smog and congestion. Sure, Washington DC was busy and probably just as polluted, especially from the swampy politics that happened, but it was different. The air was different. Hell, even the sun felt different. Things made sense here. She needed to clear her mind, to rid herself of thoughts of Neal, thoughts of fighting with her mother, thoughts that she wasn't good enough to model. She was finding that DC was doing all of that for her. Sure, she had thought about Neal a few times she since had been home, how could she not, when she was comparing what they used to have to what she was experiencing with Killian? But, she never thought of Neal in a positive light or in a way that made her want to return to LA to be with him.

Her subconscious told her it was all because of Killian. If Killian had not been on that plane, if kismet or fate or whatever you call it, didn't bring them together, reunite them, then she would have caved and gone back to Neal and his cheating ass within a week of being home. If nothing came of their relationship, she would always be thankful that Killian was present and helped her over that hurdle.

He had messaged her of course. When the first text came in about a day after she arrived home, she ignored it. She didn't want to read what it said, since she pretty much already knew it would be filled with his bullshit lies and promises about being better. She also knew they would probably be filled with anger and hostility at being locked out of his apartment with his shit being tossed on the front porch. She actually pictured it as Ruby explained Lacey's job during Emma's vacation.

Neal would message her, apologizing, begging to be taken back. He would then show up unannounced at her apartment, in some lame attempt at trying to be romantic. He would then find himself locked out and his stuff in boxes on the porch. He would send her a couple of very rude text messages. She actually wouldn't be surprised if he called her a cunt in any of them. She remembered him calling some stranger that once. If she had been a stronger person at the time, that moment would have been the end of their relationship. Then, anywhere from 6 hours to two days, depending on how much he drank the night before and what, he would apologize again, promising he didn't mean it, that he was just drunk and upset.

It was their final weekend in DC when Emma finally decided to look at the text messages. She was curious at what he was saying, since it had been almost three weeks and he was still texting her with no reply. She was mostly just wanting to get rid of the notifications on her screen though. She would sometimes forget everything that happened, look at her phone to see 20 plus unread messages and get excited that Ruby had sent her something, only to be disappointed to remember it was just Neal.

When she did look, she was surprised. There was nothing in the texts about an apology. The first text was him telling her that she needed to get her shit out of the apartment, since it belonged to him. She actually snorted at that one. She began to laugh hysterically when she read the second message that said if she didn't he would see her in court. She would love to see him try and bullshit his way onto a lease. Thankfully, Ruby and Lacey had made sure to get multiple copies of her lease before she left so that Emma didn't have to deal with Neal in that manner.

After a few more texts about getting her shit so that he could finally move on with Tamara, came the text that actually gutted her. He had told her that he had been with Tamara for over a year and a half and they were engaged. It wasn't that Emma was sad over that, it was just she was shocked. How could something like this was happening behind her back for so long? How was she so blind as not to see it?

A few texts later came the yelling that she predicted about the apartment being locked. She was surprised it took him a few days to get to that, considering his threats earlier on. He was so upset that Lacey and Ruby had drank all of his Cristal. Emma wasn't there for that. She knew Ruby knew about his secret stash of the expensive champagne, she just didn't think her friend would actually steal it and drink a thousand dollars worth of it.

The final texts were simpler, less angry and more final. They were simply tasks that they had to complete in order to make this real, according to him. They did have the cable together, which needed to get sorted out. His cell phone was still technically connected to hers. The internet was also under both of their names. The texts were simple reminders for Emma to fix them when she got back from "wherever the fuck she was doing whatever the fuck she was doing", in his words.

She sat back after reading through them all, exhausted from just the sheer volume of shit that their relationship was. She couldn't believe that for years, she allowed herself to be treated the way Neal treated her. She didn't know how she could have allowed herself to be so unhappy. She scrolled through her phone, looking at pictures of them over the last couple of years. Sure, they had gotten rid of the pictures in her apartment, but the ones of her phone stayed thanks to the multiple social media apps she had.

She looked at herself in the most recent selfie she snapped with Neal. It was at a bar a few nights before the incident. She took a good hard look and realized she wasn't really happy in that picture. She lit up the screen, her smile was wide and her cheeks flushed, but her eyes said it all. It was false, all of it. Every feeling she had for him was a facade.

It was completely different than the picture she found of her and Killian. Henry had taken a picture of them at his graduation party. She didn't realize he had gotten the picture. They had a ton of pictures of them standing near each other in family pictures, but none like the one Henry snapped. It had been taken without them knowing. They must have just come back from one of their secret little rendezvous. Emma was looking at Killian with complete adoration and Killian was staring at her like she was the sun that lit up his world. Both of their eyes sparkled with joy as they looked at each other.

Emma really couldn't believe the differences in the relationships she found herself in. It was a bit crazy to think of the changes she saw in herself when someone really cared about her. It was something she didn't want to give up when they went back to LA and it was something she was going to tell Killian about. She had made her decision; when they got back to LA, she would do whatever was necessary to stay with Killian. Screw leaving it up to chance.

She had two tricks up her sleeve for their last weekend in the area. First, she was going to tell Killian that no matter what, she was his and when they got back to LA, nothing would change. Second, she was going to tell him while doing something she hoped he would really enjoy, watching a professional baseball game.

She had hoped that bringing him to a game would spark a new love of the game in him. He had said his love for the game was starting to come back. The last three weeks had been enjoyable, at least that is what he said. However, Emma thought he was missing something. He had been focusing on his love for the game, how he felt when he threw the ball, how it felt being back on the field, but he was forgetting one large thing. He was forgetting how it felt to be around a crowd. He was forgetting how his playing could make others feel, how he could inspire young boys and girls to chase their dreams and how he was even a little part of families making memories.

She didn't tell him where they were going when they got on the train, but soon enough, he put the pieces together.

"Emma, I'm not sure this is a good idea," he said warily.

"I think it will be good for you," she began, taking his hand in hers and rested it on her legs.

"I really do. You've forgotten the best part of the game, the audience. Trust me, this will be good for you. Just enjoy the day with me."

He turned to her and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. He looked at her with the utmost trust, like he was literally putting his life in her hands.

She winked back at him and sat back to enjoy the train ride, knowing that soon the train would be packed and hot from the crowd.

She loved the walk to the park from the train station. It was filled with families going to their first game, drunken college guys acting a fool, drunken college girls falling over the guys acting a fool, and the hard core fans decked out in their National's gear.

She had made sure the game wasn't against Killian's actual team, but that didn't stop the random Dodger's t-shirts from being worn. Thankfully, Killian was incognito in his jeans, white shirt and sunglasses. His hair and beard had grown a bit since they arrived, which helped to keep him out of the spotlight. She could tell it worried him a bit, being noticed. However, something told her that no one would bother them today.

Emma was glad that she wore what she did. It was hotter than she expected, but that was thanks to the Virginia humidity. It was the one thing she missed about LA, no humidity. When the forecaster said the temperature would be 98 degrees, he meant it. In Virginia, when they said 98 degrees, that normally meant that it would feel like 120 in the sun. But her dress allowed her to feel cooler, plus she made sure their tickets were good enough to be in the shade.

She was thankful she remembered to bring a dress that was in the team colors, and one that was light and breezy. Plus, she loved the string back that allowed Killian's fingers to glide over her skin as he held her waist while they walked through the large crowd to their seats.

As the game began and the show got on the road, Emma couldn't help but see how stoic Killian was. He was seated straight up in his seat and looked so uncomfortable. It was like he was being forced to sit there and endure the most extreme torture any man could endure. Maybe this wasn't the best idea, and her mind started to unravel. She mentally beat herself up for subjecting him to this. She should have made sure he was OK with it.

As if he was reading her mind, seeing her internal drama unfold, he relaxed and bit and squeezed the hand that he hadn't let go of since getting of the train.

"I'm sorry, I'm letting my mind get the best of me. You're right, I should just relax and try to enjoy watching the game," he said, his voice soft and reassuring.

"I should have asked you first," she whispered, looking sad.

"No, it's fine. It's something I need to face, and I am glad that you are the one I am facing it with. It does feel good to be back in the ballpark. I forgot the energy that comes with the game that the minors don't have. It's quite reenergizing." The confession took her a bit by surprise, but she was glad he was willing to do something like this.

She relaxed a bit as well, and they actually enjoyed most of the game. They didn't really talk much, but Emma kept her eyes on him almost the whole time. She couldn't have told you who was at bat or what the score was, all because she was overwhelmed by him. She wanted to make sure he was doing OK, but the smile on his face as he seemingly started to let everything go told her she had made the right choice. She hadn't seen him so happy in their three weeks. She was glad she was part of getting that smile back on his face.

The game sped by and before they knew it, the game had ended and it was time to leave. Emma had thought multiple times that she would tell Killian how she felt, but as she watched him watch the game, she couldn't find the right way to tell him. She knew that if she said she wanted them to make it work, that baseball would take a back seat to their relationship. She knew he would give her everything, do anything, just to be with her. She would do the same for him.

She couldn't find it in her heart to tell him. She wanted him to go back to the game, wanted him to be happy again, and she couldn't be the reason that that was being taken away from him. She knew he would be happy with her, but she would end up resenting herself, or he would. She couldn't bear that. The game made him too happy and she didn't want to get in the way of that.

However, there was one thing they could do. Well, one thing she could do. They weren't scheduled to be on the same flight back to LA. Killian was scheduled to take an early flight on Sunday morning, while Emma was scheduled to take a late night flight, not getting into LA until close to midnight. She didn't want to spend that time without him, didn't want to leave without him. She wanted to end this trip the same way she started it; sitting besides Killian on the plane.

"What would you say about me rescheduling my flight to match yours?" she asked him, getting his attention from the crowd leaving the stadium.

"I was actually wondering the same thing love," his smile bright and sly. He was clearly hiding something from her.

"You already did, didn't you?" her question made his smile brighter.

"I may have already called Graham and told him I need to fly out later, something to do with my erratic mother and her wanting one last meal together, or something along those lines. He was happy enough to make the accommodation, said I sounded good and that maybe the few extra hours will be just as good as the time I've spent here already," he said, squeezing her hand and pulling her into his side.

"I hope that's ok," he added, a bit unsure.

"It's more than OK, I'm glad actually. I didn't want to leave without you," she whispered, wanting to add she didn't want to go on without him either.

Hugs were given freely. Emma's mother and Adelaide weren't crying, which surprised her. Her mother has always been strong, never really crying except for at monumental occasions, but she expected some tears for Emma's going away. Who knew when they both would be coming back to DC and she doubted her mother would fly to visit, so she expected something.

"Promise to come home soon darling, the both of you. We've missed you two so much, and you certainly keep us on our toes," Adelaide said as she pulled Emma into a hug.

"I will try, I promise," she agreed.

"And keep my son safe. I know you two have grown close, just make sure you are both happy, and you'll never let me down," she whispered.

Emma wasn't quite sure how to respond, but deep down, she was happy that Adelaide seemed to know about her and Killian and was supportive of whatever they were. It was hard for them to not put a label on anything, but it was even harder keeping everything secret. Emma wasn't close with her mother, but she knew if she told her about her and Killian and things didn't work out, Mary Margaret would be heartbroken. It would break both of the mother's hearts and their families relationship might never recover. She couldn't do that to either woman.

As they walked towards security, she felt a slight brush against her hand and the shock told her it was Killian's.

"Are you OK love?" he asked in a slight whisper.

"Yeah, I'll be OK," she smiled, grabbing his hand once they were out of view of their parents.

As long as she had him, she was going to be fine; they both were.

A/N: So I know I kinda left it off without a real ending, and that was for a reason. I plan on returning to the story in a little with a whole new series of chapters that follow their adventures in LA and elsewhere. Let me know if you would be interested in reading it!

[xbacklily]

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Starting a Career as a Web Developer: Nearly Everything You Need to Know

If you want to make a career pivot into tech (especially because of the high starting salaries and flexibility that come with it) becoming a web developer is one of the savviest ways to get there.

There’s a clear list of web development skills you’ll need to learn, and once you have those it’s one of the easiest entry-level tech roles to land, since the industry often hires developers based on their portfolio and code, not previous job experience.

But what IS web development? And how exactly do you get started in the field?

We’ve put together this ultimate guide to break down everything you need to know about starting out as a web developer. From what exactly a web developer is, to what skills web developers need, to how to find an entry-level developer, we’re covering it all.

And don’t feel pressured to take in all this information at once! Bookmark this page and come back as often as you need while starting on your own path to web development.

Table of Contents

1. What is a Web Developer? 2. Key Web Developer Skills 3. How to Learn Web Developer Skills 4. Web Developer Salaries 5. How to Land a Web Developer Job 6. Freelancing as a Web Developer 7. Final Thoughts

Chapter 1: What is a Web Developer?

Web Developer: The Basic Definition

Web development is the process of taking the plans and layouts created by web designers, then coding them into live, functioning websites. Web developers, also called programmers, are the people who do it.

In terms of what this actually looks like, web development can be broken down into three general categories:

Front End Web Developers—Front end developers use languages like HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to build the visible parts of websites (think “front-facing”) you see when you visit with a web browser. Front end development is an effective and flexible way to break into tech, since front end web developers do everything from work for established companies to freelancing on their own and building up their skills while working for individual clients.

Back End Web Developers—While the front end of a website includes everything the user interacts with directly, think of the back end as the“under the hood” parts of a site. Users don’t see this work, but back end web development makes the parts they DO see run smoothly. For example, back end developers use “server side” programming languages to request data from a site’s web server, which then appears as HTML output on a user’s screen.

Full Stack Web Developers—Combine the skill sets of a front end and back end web developer, and you get “full stack.” Full stack developers are simply programmers who have experience with front end web development and back end development (and keep in mind that “web” can be substituted for “mobile app” or “app” development in this description, too, hence why you’ll see job postings for full stack app developers).

It’s up to your personal career goals and interests which of these developer paths you choose, but wherever you want to end up, we recommend starting by learning solid front end fundamentals. Even basic HTML and CSS skills (which can be learned within a month or so), will qualify you to do entry level freelance work for clients. After that, it’s up to you to decide what you want to specialize in and how far you want to go (whether it’s sticking with front end, branching out into back end, or tying it all together as a full stack engineer).

Bonus Reads:

Tech 101: What is the Difference Between a Web Designer and Web Developer?

How to Become a Website Developer in Three Basic Steps

Front End, Back End, Full Stack—What Does it All Mean?

Tech 101: What is a Full Stack Developer (and Does it Even Matter?)

(back to top)

Chapter 2: Web Developer Skills You’ll Need to Know

Now that you have an idea of what web developers do, let’s look at the core skills they use to do it.

Front End Programming Languages

These are some of the most common programming languages used for front end web development.

HTML

HTML (Hypertext Markup Language) defines the parts of web pages to the web browsers that visit them. When you access a site through your phone, tablet, or computer’s browser (Chrome, Safari, Firefox, etc.) those browsers are able to read HTML content and translate it into what you see on the screen. HTML is the language that defines which part of the page is a header, which is a footer, where paragraphs belong, where images, graphics, and videos are placed, etc.

CSS

CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) is a sister language to HTML. It’s used after the parts of a page are defined, and specifies the page’s style. Page layouts, colors, and fonts are all selected and implemented through CSS. In other words, if HTML is the foundation of a house, CSS is the interior and exterior decorating decisions.

JavaScript

While HTML and CSS are used to build static web pages, JavaScript is the coding language that brings sites to life with dynamic content. When you visit a website or web app with features like animated graphics, forms that offer autocomplete suggestions as you type, photo slideshows, and just about anything that involves web page content changing without a user manually reloading the page, those features were likely built using JavaScript.

JavaScript Libraries and Frameworks

JavaScript libraries like jQuery are collections of pre-written JavaScript code that can be plugged into web projects. This allows developers to save time on re-creating basic JavaScript functions, like interactive forms and image galleries.

Meanwhile, JavaScript frameworks like Vue.js and React.js are collections of libraries that can be used as templates for web projects. JS frameworks not only provide pre-written code (similar to jQuery), but they also provide a structure for where your JS code should go, helping projects become more efficiently and uniformly arranged.

Back End Programming Languages

These are some of the go-to coding languages used for back end web development.

PHP

PHP (which stands for—get this—PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor) is a scripting language used in “server-side” (back end) web development. Server-side activity involves a web browser sending requests to a web server (the software or hardware that stores a websites pages, images, media, and other assets), which then responds to the request with HTML code that is turned into content on the user’s screen.

PHP is a language used to request server content—for example, a PHP script can make your three most recent blog posts appear automatically on your site’s front page. Meanwhile, PHP scripts can also involve conditional (if/else/endif) statements that direct your site to change its display and add content from your web server as needed, based on user behavior.

Ruby and Ruby on Rails

Ruby is a “a dynamic, open source programming language with a focus on simplicity and productivity.” In other words, it’s free to use and its users are allowed to study, change, and distribute the language to anyone and for any purpose (that’s the open source part), while its syntax is designed to mimic non-machine language as much as possible (the part about being focused on simplicity and productivity.

In order to instruct a software program to print “hahaha” on the screen, standard programming languages might require you to code something like this:

($i = 0; $i < 3; $i++) { echo “ha”; }

With Ruby, “hahaha” looks like this:

3.times do print “ha” end

Simple AND productive, right?

When it comes to web development, Ruby becomes even more simple and productive with a software framework called Ruby on Rails. Like JavaScript frameworks, Rails is a collection of pre-written Ruby code and templates used to build and control the back end of websites and web apps.

Python

Python is an “object oriented” programming language that can be used for front end and back end scripting in web development (with a majority of its use coming on the back end). Object oriented languages (like Python) allow programmers to create virtual objects in their code and give each of these objects unique attributes and abilities. All of the objects a developer creates are then able to interact with each other or perform actions on their own.

Through this object model, object oriented programming languages like Python reduce complexity for developers by mimicking real world building dynamics and giving programmers a clear structure to work with. Objects can be isolated and maintained separately from the rest of their code (making it easier to locate and repair bugs), and—once created—they can be easily reused in future programs.

WordPress

WordPress is the industry leading CMS (Content Management System), a type of software program that lets web developers create, publish, and manage digital content online. By using a CMS like WordPress, they’re able to do all of this through a user interface where changes are reflected immediately after pressing a “Publish” button (as opposed to the less streamlined experience of coding sites from scratch).

While complete tech newcomers can use WordPress out of the box by following menu cues in the user interface and selecting pre-existing site templates, one you build up skills like HTML, CSS, and PHP you’ll be able to create your own WordPress page templates and site features, giving you the same kind of options for customization you’d have when coding from scratch.

Because of this versatility, the WordPress CMS is a widely-used tool for building sites that will appeal to side hustle clients as well as full-time employers. (Web technology survey site W3Techs cites WordPress CMS as owning 60 percent of worldwide CMS usage.) Simply knowing how to build basic websites with WordPress is enough to open up work as a WordPress developer, and WordPress’ sliding skill scale will allow you to learn gradually as you go—all qualities that speak to the wisdom of WordPress specialization.

Web Design, a Clarification

Although web design is its own field (and it’s possible to work as a web developer without having an active hand in the design process and vice versa), it only adds to your hireability and job flexibility as a developer if you have at least a basic understanding of web design. Web design fundamentals include:

Layout & Navigation Principles

It’s always important to remember that the layout of a website is as important as the content it presents. You need to arrange the website’s images, text, video, and menu options in a way that allows for efficient navigation by users.

Familiarizing yourself with best layout and navigation principles, like those illustrated in this UX Booth article, is a good way to get a design overview.

Color & Typography

In addition to layout and navigation, color and typography play a deciding role in effective web design. Even the world’s most brilliant layout can vanish courtesy of clashing colors and unreadable text.

Certain color and typography choices are a subjective part of the design process, but there’s a whole science of color choice that can (and should) inform web design. The same goes for typography—in addition to making web pages easier to read and more appealing to users, the right font size and style choices can directly affect the ability of search engines to index and rank your website.

Mobile First Design

In the early days of web design, most of us were looking at sites from our desktop computers. Fast forward to 2018, and 52 percent of all website traffic is now served to mobile phones, making “mobile first design” the web design standard. This means creating your website designs with the smallest display screens in mind, and working outward to bigger screens from there.

Our curriculum team uses water in a glass as an example. When you pour water into a glass, the liquid conforms itself to the size and shape of the glass being used—which is the whole aim of mobile first design. A website that looks spectacular on your phone’s screen should seamlessly expand into a spectacular experience on your desktop, and vice versa.

This UX Pin article gives a look at the kind of specifics that go into mobile first design—something you should be familiar with even as a web developer.

Version Control/Git

After all the hard work of marking up with HTML, styling with CSS, and programming with JavaScript, web developers will go through a number of revisions. If something goes wrong along the way, the last thing a developer wants to do is start over from the beginning. Version control is the process of tracking and controlling changes to a website or web application’s source code so this won’t happen.

Version control software—like open source stalwart Git—is a tool developers use to track those changes so they can go back to a previous version of their work and find out what went wrong without tearing the whole thing down.

If you’re planning on becoming a developer, you can see why this is a skill that you (and your prospective clients and employers) will be very happy to have.

Bonus Reads:

The 10 Skills You Need to Land Your First Front End Developer Job

Everything You Need to Know About HTML

Tech 101: What is JavaScript?

Should You Learn JavaScript? The answer is YES

Tech 101: The Ultimate Guide to CSS

Tech 101: What is jQuery, and What is it Used For?

Tech 101: What Is a JavaScript Framework? Here’s Everything You Need to Know

Learning JavaScript Frameworks Will Boost Your Job Prospects—But Which One Should You Learn First?

5 of the Best JavaScript Frameworks to Learn

What’s the Difference Between Scripting and Coding?

Everything You Need to Know About PHP

Tech 101: Ruby on Rails

4 Key Things You Need to Know About Ruby on Rails

Tech 101: Python vs JavaScript—What’s the Difference?

99 of the Best Free Tools for Web Designers and Web Developers

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Chapter 3: How to Learn Those Web Developer Skills

Now that you have an idea of the kind of skills it takes to work as a web developer, you’re probably wondering HOW to actually start learning these skills. And, based on the kind of questions we get from prospective students, you might be letting some preconceived notions give you unnecessary anxiety on the topic. In addition to simply wanting to know where and how to learn tech skills, newcomers to tech are often worried that learning these skills will:

Take too long

Require high level math skills

Require a college degree

So let’s tackle those three common fears first.

Conquering Three Common Tech Fears: a Quickstart Guide

1. Learning Basic Coding Will Take You Months (Not Years)

Yes, you read that correctly. It is totally possible to learn tech basics in a matter of months. We’ve written in more detail here about general “learn to code” timeframes and timeframes specific to languages like HTML/CSS and JavaScript, but here’s the general summary:

The absolute first step toward web development is to start learning two coding languages ASAP—HTML and CSS. These two skills will allow you to start building basic websites, and they’ll even qualify you to start doing paid HTML and CSS jobs (think freelance web development gigs for friends, family, or local businesses). And here’s the thing—learning to code with HTML and CSS can take as little as weeks or even days depending on your pace and approach.

After getting experience with HTML and CSS, you can expand your development repertoire further with programming languages like JavaScript. Learning JavaScript will add a few more months to your learning process, but knowing JavaScript will open up even more development jobs.

Once you’ve nailed the basics of these front-end development skills the learning process will continue over the course of your development career, and there are always more skills to learn in order to stay professionally flexible and relevant—for instance if you’re interested in exploring back-end web development you’ll need to learn server side languages like Ruby on Rails—but the process of becoming a professionally viable front-end developer can realistically be achieved in a matter of months.

2. High Level Math Isn’t as Important as You Might Think

The high starting pay and job flexibility associated with web development sounds great…but unless you have doctorate level math skills it’s probably not for you, right?

Wrong!

While tech careers are often stereotypically associated with hardcore computation, it’s the computer you’re using that does most of the intense number crunching. According to web developer Charlotte O’Hara (who I interviewed on the subject previously), critical thinking skills and an eye for design are a much bigger part of the job than advanced calculations. You can read more about the facts on math and coding (and how insecurity around math is often just a matter of perception) in our How Much Math Do I Need to Know to Code article.

3. College Degree Not Necessarily Required

But even if you won’t need as much math as you think (or you know more math than you think you do), you still need a degree in computer science to work as a web developer, right?

Wrong again!

Yes, having a CS degree can certainly be a good thing if you’re trying to work as a web professional, but—since web development is largely a skills-based field—if you know how to do the work, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t get hired.

If you’re ready to start working as a web developer, the best thing to do is start upskilling your way to the languages (HTML, CSS, JavaScript, etc.) you’ll need for doing the work—it might sound like a long haul, but it’s considerably shorter and less expensive than going back to school for two-to-four years.

Even better, the degree-less success stories are out there (and we’ve covered quite a few of them).

Where to Learn Web Developer Skills

Fears and misconceptions aside, the next question to answer is WHERE to start learning web developer skills. The good news is, whatever your situation, there’s a learning format that will work for you. Some of the most common places to learn coding skills are:

Coding Bootcamps

Bootcamps are traditionally 8-12 week, in-person intensive programs where students code all day, every day for the duration of the course. While the bootcamp format can be a great way to get immersively hands-on with coding languages and learn at an accelerated rate, there are some pitfalls to this approach as well. As our CEO Adda Birnir says:

“Bootcamps are great options for some people, but—like most things in life—they’re not perfect for everyone. In order to do one of those bootcamps you have to be in a set location, commit to attending full time, and it’ll cost you. That might work if you’re not working, live in a major city, and have money saved up, but not if you’re caring for children, live outside of a big city, or can’t afford in-person bootcamp tuition (currently an average of nearly $12,000 according to Coursereport).”

Online Coding Tutorials

Fortunately, if the barrier of entry to bootcamps doesn’t fit your personal circumstances, there are other options. One of those options (on the other end of the spectrum from coding bootcamps) is learning through online tutorials. Unlike the bootcamp model, learning through tutorials online can be done entirely at your own pace, and in many cases for free. Sites like Coursera and Lynda offer low cost and free tutorials, while some languages like Python have their own official online beginners guides and documentation. You can get even more ideas for free coding resources by checking out our article, 64 Ways to Learn to Code For Free.

The downside to this approach is in the lack of structure. If you’re someone who’s extremely self disciplined and has a good amount of spare time, you CAN cobble together coding basics through tutorials alone. But when you hit a wall, it’s all on you to get past it. And there’s no recognition or certification at the end of the tunnel. Yes, all that matters when it’s time to build a website is whether you know how to do it or not, but the kind of certification that comes from completing an established course makes it a lot easier to convince clients and employers that you’re the person for the job.

Online Coding Courses

A third way to learn web developer skills is to take a paid, instructor-led course online. This approach mixes the structure of a bootcamp (though a lot less intense and considerably less expensive) with the flexibility of learning from home. Online courses like our Skillcrush Front End Developer and Web Developer Blueprints can be completed in just three months by spending only an hour a day on the materials.

Paid online courses like Skillcrush Blueprints also include access to instructor assistance and feedback, an online community where you can share questions and accomplishments, and a certification at the end of the process. You can read more about Skillcrush’s online courses here.

Bonus Reads:

How Long Will It Take Me to Learn How to Code?

How Long Does it Take to Become a Web Developer?

How Long Does It Take to Learn HTML? Not as Long as You Might Think

Is JavaScript a Hard Programming Language to Learn?

How Much Math Do I Need to Know to Code?

3 Successful Tech Pros Who Didn’t Go to College

Skillcrush ‘Who Codes?’ Series

Thinking About Enrolling in a Coding Bootcamp? Ask Yourself These Four Questions First

Why Skillcrush Is Different Than Coding Bootcamps: A Q&A With Skillcrush CEO Adda Birnir

64 Ways to Learn to Code for Free

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Chapter 4: Web Developer Salaries

So, if you take the time and spend the money to learn web developer skills, what kind of financial return on your investment can you expect to see from entry level web developer jobs?

According to Indeed.com, the average entry-level front end web developer makes $61,512 a year working full-time in the United States. After three years or more of experience this average climbs to $108,409 for mid-level and senior front end development jobs, while developers who learn back end skills average $128,148/year.

We’ve broken these numbers down further in our Web Developer Salary Series article, but keep in mind they’ll vary according to certain elements—location, experience, expertise, etc. To determine what you can reasonably expect to make, Glassdoor’s Know Your Worth tool is a great way to plug in specific details about your own circumstances to calculate a likely salary (and the right number to give when asked your salary requirements). You may also want to explore how to calculate your rate for freelance web developer work.

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Chapter 5: How to Land a Web Developer Job

You know the web developer skills you need, where and how to learn them, and the kind of return on investment you can expect, but there’s one important detail—how do you actually land a web developer job? Making that leap from learning to code to working as a junior web developer might seem daunting.

Of course, you should begin by staying on top of listings from general job sites like Glassdoor and Indeed and developer-focused sites like Github, Smashing Magazine, and Stack Overflow. But everyone seems to want experience, so how do you get that experience if you haven’t been hired yet? We have some tips and tricks to help you out.

1. Work on Mock Coding Projects

Working without being paid is generally NOT something we recommend—except when it comes to padding a body of work before you’ve actually started working. Don’t wait for that first paid job to put your coding skills to work. Do as many mock projects as you can while you’re trying to land your first paid gig, whether it’s a model website for a fictitious brand or a prospective redesign of a real site. Or show what you can do with JavaScript and tackle some test JavaScript projects.

And—while you’ll be using these projects as part of your resume and portfolio when you apply for jobs—don’t forget to publish your work publicly on sites like Codepen, Stack Overflow, and Github. Being an active member of the online developer community, even before you start your first day of work, is a good way of showing clients and employers your dedication and professional curiosity.

Finally, remember that this first step can actually bridge the gap between practice work and paid work. Reach out to friends, family, and acquaintances and see if anyone has website needs that you’re able and ready to tackle. Doing these starter projects either pro bono or for a beginner’s freelance rate will give you valuable work experience en route to your first “real” job.

2. Use Your Portfolio to Show Off Those Projects

Having a crisp, easily shareable digital portfolio is a must in order to win over clients and hiring managers. But what does that mean?

First, you need to find the right site to house your digital samples. This article on free design portfolio sites will lead you in the direction of stalwarts like Behance and Dribbble, both of which work just as well for web developer portfolios as they do for web design.

Second, you need to make sure you’re including the kind of web developer samples that will resonate with clients and employers. This article will give you 10 tips for building a stellar web developer portfolio, after which you can level up your portfolio game even further with this 4-step guide to making sure your work shines.

3. Make Sure Your Elevator Pitch is Good to Go

In between trolling job listings and compiling a knockout portfolio, life sometimes just happens. You never know when you might be in a situation where you’re suddenly face-to-face with someone who can hook you up with that dream web developer job. Which means you better have something to say when and if the time comes.

No problem, we’ve got that covered, too! If you need a little help explaining who you are, what sets you apart, and why (despite maybe not having the most on-paper experience) you’re the person to solve a company’s problems, go ahead and download our guide to writing the perfect personal pitch.

4. You’re Breaking Into Tech—But You Still Need a Conventional Resume and Cover Letter

The tech industry may have changed a lot of the ways we work and find jobs, but one institution remains the same—the venerable cover letter and resume. In order to really nail that web developer job, you’re going to need both.

Because you’re new to web development, it’s critical to write a custom cover letter when applying for jobs. Take the time to research the company or client you’re applying with, notice any trends in their projects or even problem areas (what could they be doing more of?), and make sure to include those observations in your letter. You can even mention a personal experience you’ve had with the company, too. The more original, the better.

Finally, when it comes to your resume, it needs to live up to the same high standards as the portfolio and website projects you’re showcasing. The good news is, there are plenty of free resume templates that will hit that standard for you, giving you one less thing to spend your creative energy on. Check out our list of free creative resume templates for 2019 here.

Bonus Reads:

12 Things You Must Do to Land a Junior Web Developer Job

10 Projects You Can Do With JavaScript

9 Jobs You Are Qualified for if You Only Know HTML and CSS

The Best Free Design Portfolio Sites For Getting Your Name Out There and Landing a Job

How to Craft a Stand-Out Web Developer Portfolio

How to Build an Impressive Portfolio Site

22 of the Best Free Creative Resume Templates for 2019

How to Go From Newbie to Web Developer Job Application-Ready

Web Developer Job Interviews Decoded: Exactly What Skills to Highlight, What to Expect, and

How to Leave a Positive Impression

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Chapter 6: Freelancing is a Flexible, Entry-Level Web Developer Option

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: tech jobs are flexible. And part of what makes them so flexible are the freelancing opportunities available in every tech field. Whether it’s web development, web design, or digital marketing, tech jobs run the gamut from full time jobs for a single company, to freelance careers, to part time side hustles you can do while caring for children or building your skills.

Web development is no different. If side hustling appeals to you, or if you’re looking for a way to do paid projects while building your skills AND your portfolio, don’t forget that freelance developer work is always an option.

Of course, if you’re going into business for yourself, you’ll need some support.

Here are some articles to get you started on the ins and outs of working as a freelance web developer:

The Apps, Tools, and Sites That Every Freelancer Needs

How to Get the Respect You Deserve as a Freelancer

How to Make Sure That Freelance Job Listing Isn’t a Scam

25 Top Sites for Finding the Freelance Jobs You Want

The 9-Step Guide to Making a GREAT First Impression on Your Freelance Client

Can You Balance a Side Hustle With a Full-Time Job? Yes—Here’s How

7 Tech Side Hustles That Seriously Pay

Meanwhile, you can check out our own guide to calculating a freelance web rate here, and you can download our calculator for freelance web design rates here.

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Chapter 7: Final Thoughts

Well, you’ve made it this far—which means you’re probably ready to get serious about learning to code and working as a web developer.

Making that first commitment is a big step, so congratulations! But now it’s time to take the next one: consider signing up for our Skillcrush Front End Developer Blueprint or Web Developer Blueprint today, and you’ll be well on your way to a high paying, flexible, creative career in web development.

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from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2019/03/19/how-to-start-a-web-developer-career/

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Industrial Blowers And Fans For Sulfur Restoration

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[lookingatinterestingthingsf-blog]

Invisible unicorns: 35 big companies that started with little or no money

Joseph FlahertyContributor   Joe Flaherty is director of Content & Community at Founder Collective. More posts by this contributor: Theres no shame in a $100M startup Overdosing on VC: Lessons from 71 IPOs Venture capital is a hell of a drug, and its possible tooverdose on VC, but for most founders that is a champagne problem. More often the question investors hear is how do I get a VC to back my startup? These founders arent worried about how overcapitalization will make their IPO prospects trickier theyre scrambling to get someone, anyone, to sign their first term sheet. Theres a widespread belief among founders that venture capital is a precursor to success. VC is a common denominator of the most successful tech startups, but it isnt a prerequisite, especially at the early stages. Entrepreneurs can prove out quite a bit with little to no capital. Capital wont make your company insightful. If you cant creatively turn $1 into $10, why do you expect to be able to turn $1 million into $10 million? To help illustrate how startups can move forward, here are 35 examples of companies that started with a few thousand dollars, or even just sweat equity, and went on to become exemplars of what I call efficient entrepreneurship. Many of these companies have subsequently earned billion-dollar valuations, some even have billions of dollars in revenue, but none started with anything other than what would be considered a seed round. Most of these startups raised money from VCs, but only after they established the fact that their success would come with or without a wire transfer from an investor. Even now, many of them arent widely known they are the invisible unicorns of the tech industry. So before scrambling to schedule meetings with investors, read these stories. They provide a counterbalance to the VC-centric outlook held by many founders, and provide alternative ways to think about funding. What follows are brief and simplified descriptions of these companies (categorized by approaches they share) and links to stories where you can read more about them. Remember, taking venture capital should be a choice, not a compulsion. These companies show how its done. Figure something out, then ask for money You dont need venture capital to get started in most industries if you can solve a real problem for customers and charge money for it. Here are three ways to think about this: Automate your workflow The easiest way to build a useful product is to automate some part of your daily workflow. This will ensure youve got proven demand for what youre building and a pre-existing funding source for your project. MailChimp: Co-founder/CEO Ben Chestnut was running a design consulting business in the year 2000 and had a stream of clients who wanted email newsletters created. The only problem was that he hated designing them. So, to spare his team the tedium, he decided to build a tool that would streamline the process.MailChimp, a $400 million run rate business, was born. Lynda: Lynda Weinman started as a teacher in need of tools to instruct web designers in the late 1990s. The offerings at bookstores were bland, so she began producing training films that better educated her students. Tutorial by tutorial her company helped software developers and designers improve their skills. She spent two decades building a content library and tech assets that had enough scale to entice LinkedIn to pay $1.5 billion to acquire the company. Start with a capital-efficient product Many entrepreneurs make frontal attacks on industry leaders, usually resulting in failure. This is especially true in the case of hardware. Instead of trying to compete with a company like Apple, these scrappy startups filled the gap left by RadioShack and built businesses worthy of respect and emulation. AdaFruit Industries: Limor Fried started her DIY electronics e-commerce empire as a student at MIT by assembling DIY kits comprised of off-the-shelf parts. Fried merchandised the same building blocks found at electronics stores, but also crafted quirky content that made the prospect of soldering a replica Space Invaders cabinet seem reasonable. Now she has 85 employees and earns $33 million per year. SparkFun: Similar to AdaFruit, Nathan Seidle started SparkFun out of his dorm room by selling electronics kits and oddball components to a coterie of engineers who wanted to explore exotic new sensors and systems. Now his e-commerce empire employs 154 and has revenues of $32 million per year. Solve an existing problem and leverage an existing business model Startups dont have to be particularly innovative in terms of business model. Building a better mousetrap on top of a more modern technical platform, or with a UX layer, can be enough. None of the companies that follow reinvented the wheel, but all wound up creating real value. Braintree Payments: Exchanging money online, without being fleeced by fraudsters, is one of the oldest problems on the web. All parties to a transaction happily agree to pay a fair tax for a superior experience. Braintree built a better tech solution and survived on the proceeds of those transactions for four years before raising $69 million in two rounds of venture capital, which preceded an $800 million acquisition. Shopify: Shopifys founders were looking for a shopping cart solution when they were starting an e-commerce site for snowboarders. Unable to find one, they decided to scratch their own itch and built a bespoke solution on the then red-hot Ruby on Rails framework. It turned out to be a perfect solution for plenty more people, and the founders ran the business independently for six years on the revenue they generated. They ultimately raised money from VCs and later IPOed, which rewarded them with a billion-dollar valuation. Self-reliance rules Many entrepreneurs waste their time playing CEO, crafting a strategy and drawing up a dream org chart for what their business might become. Dont do that. Instead, figure out what you can do, today, to advance this idea using only the resources you have. Ipsy: Sending boxes of makeup to amateur beauticians has become a growth industry thanks to pioneers like Birchbox. YouTube star Michelle Phan didnt have first-mover advantage, but she leveraged her online celebrity (8 million+ YouTube subscribers), relationships with cosmetics brands and <$500,000in seed funding to build a subscription box startup that generated $150 million in revenue before raising $100 million in VC. Capital wont make your company insightful. ShutterStock: Jon Oringer was a professional software developer and an amateur photographer. He combined this set of skills and used 30,000 photos from his personal photo library to start a stock photo service that is currently worth $2 billion. His capital efficiency paid off and ultimately turned him into a truly self-made billionaire. SimpliSafe: People scoff at the idea of trying to bootstrap a hardware business, but SimpliSafes Chad Laurans did it. He raised a small amount of money from friends and family and then spent eight years building a self-install security business, literally soldering the first prototypes himself to save money. Eight years later, the business has hundreds of thousands of customers, hundreds of millions in revenue and $57 million in VC from Sequoia. Everyones money is green Funding doesnt always come millions of dollars at a time. Founders can scrape together money from grants, incubators and angels, or even pre-sales. The savviest entrepreneurs design their business model so they collect payment before they deliver their product, turning customers into a source of growth capital.   Tough Mudder: Track & field entrepreneur Will Dean turned $7,000 in savings into a company with more than $100 million in annual revenue. The secret was pre-selling registrations to races and then using those funds as working capital to construct the electrified obstacle courses that have made Tough Mudder a global phenomena. CoolMiniOrNot: CoolMiniOrNot started out as a website where geeks could show off their ability to paint Dungeons & Dragons figurines. Eventually, the sites founders decided to design and distribute games of their own, leveraging Kickstarter as a channel. They have run27 Kickstarter campaignswhich have raised$35,943,270million dollars of non-dilutive funding. Game on. Sell! Sell! Sell! Usually the best source of capital is a customer, and selling has two benefits. First, you make the cash register ring immediately. Second, you quickly learn what resonates with customers and can use those insights to refine your offering. Scentsy: DNVBs are hip, but they are over-reliant on twee launch videos and Facebook ads to drive revenue. Scentsy sold candles at swap meets when they couldnt afford to buy ads. It wasnt glamorous, but it did give the founders a solid grounding on the messages that resonated with buyers now they have more than $545 million a year in revenue. CarGurus: This app leverages data analytics to help customers find the best deal on used cars, but the companys CEO credits its $50 million a year in revenue, and profitability, to hiring a sales team early in the companys life cycle. Nearly half the companys 350 employees are busy making sales calls, not writing software. LootCrate: LootCrate had more than 600,000 customers and $100 million in revenue before they raised institutional capital. Part of the reason they were so efficient was that the company started charging customers from its first weekend in existence. The founders were at a hackathon, set up a landing page, collected orders and used that capital to buy the geeky goods that would fill the packages. Be miserly with marketing Startup marketers might not want to waste time with unmeasurable brand marketing. Efficient entrepreneurs need campaigns to be additive, immediately. Wayfair: The home goods e-commerce company was profitable from its first month of operation because they skipped brand advertising and bought up hundreds of domain names that were exact matches for common search terms. This model kicked off a decade of profitable growth until they ultimately raised a Series A worth $165 million shortly before going public and earning a market cap that is currently over $4 billion. If you cant creatively turn $1 into $10, why do you expect to be able to turn $1 million into $10 million? Cards Against Humanity: With just $15,700 in funding from Kickstarter, the Cards Against Humanity team built a business that grossed more than $12 million in its first year. Theyve also sustained their brand with a series of canny marketing stunts, selling cow poop, cutting up a Picasso, digging a big hole representing the ennui of a post-Trump America, then selling Trump bug out bags and simply asking for money. These promotions arent cheap to run, but they make enough money to defray costs while earning a disproportionate amount of free media. GoFundMe: Viral marketing is dismissed, rightfully, when it is tacked on to a business model, but it can be a powerful driver when properly integrated into a business model. Paired with hyper-efficient conversion rate optimization (CRO), it can be unbeatable. The founders of GoFundMe were able to use these twin forces to bootstrap a business to the point where it was valued at ~$600 million. Efficiency > Capital Startups are often measured by how much money theyve raised. Its more important to ask how efficiently those companies use the capital. Efficiency doesnt mean penny-pinching, but instead, finding entrepreneurs who orient their business around a technology or business model that is intrinsically more effective at multiplying capital. PaintNite: The idea of combining Monet and Merlot has been around for a while, but the founders of PaintNite wanted to make the model more cost-effective. While their competitors relied on a slow, expensive franchise sales model, PaintNite paired art teachers with existing bars that wanted to sell wine on weekdays and created a business that did $30 million in revenue the year before it raised venture capital. Plenty of Fish: The dating site was founded in 2003 and didnt change dramatically regarding functionality or aesthetics over the next decade. Other sites had more features, flashier graphics and copious amounts of venture funding, but PoF was free and spent most of its resources fighting spam accounts. As with Craigslist, Plenty of Fishs biggest asset was its reputation as a well-stocked pond. The company iterated on the product over time, but never needed massive infusions of capital. Ultimately, the company sold for $575 million. Mojang: The masons behind Minecraft never raised any venture capital, employed just 50 people and earned nearly a billion dollars in profit before selling to Microsoft. The Swedish studio never got sucked into fads like Zynga-inspired social spamming and predatory microtransactions. Minecraft grew by charging users a flat fee, resulting in a $2.5 billion acquisition. Fortune favors the boring Boring isnt a value judgment. Many of the most impressive, successful companies that managed to grow without capital thrived by solving acute, if somewhat dry, problems. If you solve a hard problem, customers will happily fund it. SurveyMonkey was founded in the dot-com bubble of the 90s and though it wasnt as disruptive as peers like Kosmo, it was more durable. It survived the dot-com crash and steadily grew into a nine-figure run rate, only raising $100 million 11 years after getting started. Protolabs does for plastic injection molding what Vistaprint does for business cards, and is currently worth $1.2 billion. Cvent, worth $1.3 billion, builds event management tools and Textura, acquired for $663 million, handles construction management neither typically considered a hot or hip market. Grasshopper is a phone networking company that had 150,000 customers and more than $30 million in annual revenue, but no VC on the books, and was eventually acquired by Citrix. Epic was founded by Judith Faulkner in 1979; the Wisconsin-based electronic medical records provider may be the largest bootstrapped software company operating today. eClinicalWorks was founded in 1999 when the mantra was get big fast, and many of its contemporaries crashed and burned. By focusing on excelling at the dull, yet profitable work of managing clinical data, the company survived and now employs more than 4,000 workers and generates $320 million in annual revenue. Unity became a backbone of the mobile gaming industry by focusing on all of the unsexy aspects of game development, like cross-platform compatibility and bump mapping. They went years without raising capital, but now have a valuation over $1.5 billion, and are more successful than the majority of branded game startups. GitHub took the pain out of version control and became a critical part of the tech ecosystem before raising capital. Qualtrics started as a tool to administer surveys for schools and businesses in a basement in Utah and now employs 1,000 and rakes in $100 million a year, profitably. Blessed are the unfundable Sometimes raising capital is almost impossible. Weve seen companies with tens of millions in revenue, triple-digit growth rates and other advantages struggle to raise even small amounts of money. Fortunately, these startups tend to prevail in the end, despite this apparent disadvantage. Atlassian: One of the benefits of building a startup outside Silicon Valley, NYC, LA or Boston is that there isnt much VC available. This may sound like a curse; after all, how could it be helpful to have no access to capital? It can be a blessing in disguise. This kind of isolation prevents you from daydreaming about what youd do with millions of dollars and forces you to make happy the paying customers you do have. Atlassian, based in Australia, bootstrapped its way to a $4 billion market cap. If it had easier access to funding, they might have found themselves chasing low-quality growth and gone under before they figured out how to scale efficiently. You dont need permission from funders to found and scale a startup. Campaign Monitor: One of the odd features of capital-efficient companies is that their first rounds of funding tend to be eye-popping sums that look more like proceeds from IPOs. This is the case for Campaign Monitor, whose first round of funding amounted to $250 million. Sydney-based Campaign Monitor didnt have easy access to venture capital, so they bootstrapped the business and built a unique technology that offered superior email analytics to companies like Disney, Coca-Cola and Buzzfeed. Time will tell if raising a quarter billion dollars helps or hurts the company, but it is certainly a validation of the progress theyve made so far. The Trade Desk: While he had a unique view of how to power the programmatic advertising industry, founder Jeff Green started The Trade Desk late in the funding cycle for modern adtech. This overcapitalization of the market, combined with investors getting burned by bad performers, made every round of funding a struggle throughout the life of the company. Green was a consummate startup CEO, who raised only $26.4 million in venture capital during the companys first six years and turned it into a billion-dollar business traded on the NASDAQ. How? By embracing the constraints of having less capital, focusing on the highest return activities and building a culture of innovation powered by ideas rather than infusions of capital. (Disclosure: Founder Collective is an investor in The Trade Desk.) VCs arent perfect, and even the best miss out on ideas that seem like sure things. It is shocking how common it is to hear founders talk about how they couldnt sell investors on an idea that went on to become a billion-dollar business. AppLovin founder Adam Foroughi sold his business for $1.4 billion, but found it hard to raise venture capital, even with serious revenue. I couldnt find anyone to give us an investment at what I thought was a reasonable starting point valuation (maybe $4 million or $5 million) and, by the end of our first year of operations, we were profitable and doing over $1 million a month in revenue. The rest, as they say, is history. Takeaway: Avoid designing your business around VC Too many founders orient their businesses around venture capital from day one. Startups used to figure stuff out and then ask for money. Today, they ask for money to figure things out. Outside of drug discovery or aeronautical hardware, this is usually the wrong decision. In fact, making progress without resources is the best way to get VCs to take an interest in your company. The companies mentioned above chose not to raise money for protracted periods of time, but when they did, they had their pick of investors and could set the terms. Our advice isnt to try to bootstrap a business in perpetuity. Venture capital has powered nearly every major tech company from Apple to Zappos. Just remember that you dont need a penny to get started. You dont need permission from funders to found and scale a startup. So the next time a VC tells you they pass, remember these three principles: Its possible to get a tech-enabled business off the ground with no capital. Its feasible to scale a tech business rapidly with very little capital. Its often in the founders best interest to limit the amount of capital they take. If you know of some other companies that self-funded their way to an extraordinary outcome, please let me know.