#ENDING A OF FEAR AND HUNGER WAUGH

[impossiblerebelblaze]

GODDD nothing gets me more than a horribly cruel story that has a loving and merciful end. Especially when the ending is still cruel at a surface glance, but only shows its true colours once you look a little closer

[dressed-to-keehl]

10 favorite characters tag

@stvlti​ tagged me, and i definitely haven’t done this for like 4 or 5 years, so there are definitely some changes!!! Except one thing hasn’t changed -- I almost exclusively love antiheroes, and if they’re absolute shithead nightmare disasters, all the better. Fiction (reading & writing) is how I process literally all of my emotions, so I always gravitate towards characters who deal with things that I don’t love talking about. While there are shitloads of characters that I enjoy, I’m out here exclusively stanning the ones that give me painful emotional catharsis. (I am actually a soft vulnerable SAP, but THAT’S not what I need to process.)

In no particular order:

KLAUS HARGREEVES (The Umbrella Academy)

Klaus breaks my fucking heart and puts it back together again. He’s so chaotic and yet so vulnerable at the same time; seeing him overcome his demons adds years to my fucking life.

ELIOT WAUGH (The Magicians)

Eliot’s character arc is so beautiful, and he honestly just fills my heart with joy. I love how far he comes over the course of the series and how he’s able to become absolutely himself, live up to his fullest potential. His past DOES NOT MATTER. He is a KING. 

MELLO (Death Note)

I first encountered Mello at age 12, and he’ll always represent the kind of intense, destructive hunger I recognised in myself from a really young age but wasn’t able to put words to. He’s always been a symbol for me to project myself onto, but no matter how his story ends, his need to be the best regardless of the odds is always a motivator. His existence has always been a big FUCK YOU to the idea of futility to me, a reminder that you will always know whether or not you gave something your all even if nobody else does.

RONAN LYNCH (The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater)

Ronan Lynch is 100% one of the reasons why I was able to continue writing after an especially dark period, which is 100% the reason I am currently alive.

JOSEPH KAVINSKY (The Dream Thieves - Maggie Stiefvater)

There are so few naked depictions of certain types of issues in YA. I honestly prefer YA because it’s so emotionally visceral, dramatic, and intense when it’s at its best. I love gorgeous prose, but so often in works that people deem more intellectual, the prose makes the emotions harder to access. It’s genuinely rare I find a combo of sharp literary insight and also raw emotions, and TDT is that exactly. Not surprising: many characters on this list are Disasters, and Kavinsky is the Disasteriest of them all. A close friend once told me, “you’re not a Kavinsky; you’re a Ronan” and it made me want to not die.

RICHARD CAMPBELL GANSEY III (The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater)

Was struggling with CRIPPLING panic disorder and substance abuse relapse when I first started reading TRC, so Gansey’s struggle with mortality and ultimate heroic triumph over his fears was extremely necessary for me. I literally could not be sober for more than a few hours the summer leading up to when i read TRC because the second I became aware of my own body I knew with absolute certainty I was going to die. While reading, I genuinely felt that this series was holding my life in its hands. I read every single word of Gansey’s like it contained some answer about my future.

COLE ST. CLAIR (The Wolves of Mercy Falls - Maggie Stiefvater)

Cole St. Clair is literally the most relatable character I have ever read in my life and he is a heroin-addicted LA werewolf rockstar so what does that say about me??? Probably that I Too fear I will never escape my past self. SO many thoughts in this book are a word choice away from things that I myself have tried to articulate in therapy and have written down in countless diaries.

ZUKO (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Zuko has the best character arc of all time, and A:TLA taught me more about storytelling than my entire undergraduate degree. He’s SO nuanced, raw, and vulnerable. What could I ever say about Zuko that hasn’t been already said?

RUBY (Supernatural)

Ah, another bad bitch who’s willing to do whatever it takes to be the best. She genuinely doesn’t care if those around her thinks she’s a traitor; she adheres to her goals despite any internal or external cost.

SIMON SNOW (Carry On - Rainbow Rowell)

How unlike me, to gravitate towards a hero TWICE on this list. (Just kidding, All these characters are heroes. Except probably Kavinsky.) Simon is like, an INSANELY good depiction of depression in Book II and his character arc really explores the idea of living up to yourself and holding onto yourself even if it feels like there’s not very much of you left.

MY OWN CHARACTERS (!!!)

(Who are everything I ever needed.)

I’m tagging @oceanofstarfish​, @flowerofthebarricade​, @puddingjeoddi​, @juuzouthough​, @thosekindofpeople​, @sowhatsurfavouritecolourpunk​, @spin-not-twirl​, @thewittywriter​ and anyone else who’s interested in participating!!! i wanna see all ur faves so go ahead n say i tagged you