#EDITING THIS BEFORE I POST YEP MARBLES ARE GONE

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

THE SITE IS UP, EVERYBODY BRACE-

[opulopful]

I’m posting my Paranatural fanfic here because Reddit won’t allow comments over 10,000 characters for some reason. Warning: I went full fanfic mode on this thing; OC protagonist and everything. It’s also less joke-heavy than usual. Also I have done exactly zero editing. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Suzy’s grand scheme

The third grudge was being uncooperative. Not that the other two had gone particularly smoothly either, but there’s a certain point you reach after a day of running back and forth through the woods, up and down hills, and through Mayview’s small-town streets that you begin to take every scraping stick and uneven curb as a personal offense. Marcella had passed that point an hour ago. It’s not easy to track a spirit, even a rampaging one like the insectoid monstrosities of today. Apparently somebody had disturbed a nest and although most of the swarm had been contained, a few had become grudges and escaped. That’s when they’d called Marcella. “Lazy Consortium… smidges!” She hissed between her teeth as she hurdled another log in pursuit. Marcella tended to make up new insults whenever she was feeling particularly upset. “���Oops, messed up a basic containment procedure, who should we send to do cleanup? Oh, I know, let’s send Marcella. She loves cleanup runs. I bet she doesn’t even need any help; she’s just so good at them!’” She caught a glimpse of a shiny insect leg through the leaves ahead and tried to put on a small burst of speed. It didn’t work. Her foot caught a tree root and she only just stopped herself from falling. She stopped, hands on her knees, gasping for breath. Something was buzzing in her ears and it was getting louder. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from outside her head. A bluish green streak flew towards her, cleanly clipping several leaves from the branches above as it passed. The giant bug spirit had turned around and come back the way it came. “It’s taunting me.” Marcella panted. It was coming directly towards her at quite an alarming rate. “Maybe not taunting exactly…” The bug spirit screamed through the air toward her trailing fresh-cut leafy debris. Marcella was forced to dive to the side to avoid its assault. The grudge traced a shallow curve as it zipped through the trees, looping back around for another pass at Marcella. The shrill buzz of wings grew louder as it approached, yet since it was a spirit, the birds gave it no notice. Sounds produced by spirits are very strange to those used to sounds in the corporeal world. Since spirit sounds don’t interact with the physical world, they often don’t echo off of surfaces or reverberate through objects. A ghost duck’s quack has no echo. However, there is still a ghost Doppler effect for some reason and this is what Marcella was hearing as the bloatfly-lookin’ grudge hurtled toward her although it is unlikely this technical audio-spectral phenomenon was on her mind at the time. Instead, she was probably thinking something along the lines of: “If it hits me at that speed, this dumb bug is going to cut me in half.” The dumb bug was going all out, it had extended sharp-looking spectral energy protrusions to either side of its body to maximize its slicing efficiency. Leaves and branches alike were falling to the ground as it traced a long line through the trees. It dropped altitude as it made a- “Bee line haha get it?” Marcella grimaced at her own joke. -a bee line towards her with clear lethal intent. “No dodging to the side of the bugger this time.” She thought. “Bring it on, bug! I’m not afraid! Unlike some people, I can face my doom with decency.” It complied with remarkable enthusiasm. The persistent human was dead in its sights. No way to dodge now. She’d smushed her last larvae! It had almost reached her when Marcella jumped. The second to last thing that went through the grudge fly’s mind was “humans aren’t supposed to be able to do that!” The last thing that went through the grudge fly’s mind was the opposite end of the grudge fly. Marcella dropped the ten or so feet back to the ground, landing with an unnaturally soft thump. She smirked at the gooey blue blob behind her. “The thing spirits always forget is that there are, in fact, some downsides to poltergeisting.” The fly may have been fast, but even it was no match for a large sturdy elm. As Marcella slipped a marble back into her pocket, its color faded from a dull grey to bright blue streaked with white.

“Did you hear that, Collin? Sounded like crime to me!” Marcella looked around, the voice was coming from a nearby clearing: past the line where the trees stopped and the edge of a field began. A soccer field. “Oh man, I didn’t realize I had come this far.” Mayview Middle School held few positive memories for her and she tended to avoid it as much as possible. “All we could hear was you yelling, Suzy.” “Shudup, Dmitri, Collin can speak for himself. You heard that crash right, Collin?” “Actually I-“ “Told you he heard something. C’mon let’s investigate! Everybody spread out!” Marcella decided she didn’t want to be spotted snooping around in the woods behind the middle school on the opposite end of town from her own school. She hid in a nearby thicket. She could hear the small group drawing closer. “What do you think we’ll even find out here anyway? Suspicious squirrels?” “Well, Dmitri, I’m glad you asked. As a matter of fact, I just so happened to overhear a member of the Activity Club -“ (The tone of voice Suzy used to say ‘Activity Club’ was the kind of tone people usually reserve for such things as ‘cockroaches’ or ‘infidels’ or perhaps the name of the bandit gang who burned my small rural village and murdered my family and who I’ve dedicated my life to training in order to defeat) mention that they would be meeting out here after school today. I thought it might be worth investigating.” “Suzy, you stuffed yourself into the locker next to Max’s and waited for two hours until he finally showed up.” “Your point, Collin? A good investigative journalist must be prepared to do what it takes to get the scoop.” They were quite close now. Almost to the bush Marcella was hiding in. Suddenly they stopped. “Ok, Collin, you go left, Dmitri, straight. I’ll go right. Make sure to stay in contact via radio.” “You call this a radio?” “You know it’s the best we can do with our club’s funds, Dmitri.” “I was referring more to the glitter glue.” “Hey, Suzy, I thought you said you knew where the Activity Club was meeting. Wouldn’t left be the opposite direction?” “It’s important to be thorough in your investigations.” “Right, but-“ “Move out, team!” Marcella heard a deep sigh and a resigned plodding away through the underbrush. Another, lighter set of footsteps went the other way at a much faster pace. Almost as though someone had somewhere specific to be as soon as possible. Then Marcella noticed a pair of white sneakers standing next to her thicket. They weren’t walking anywhere. The other footsteps faded away. Marcella looked up. “Hi Dmitri.” “Hey Marcy.” “You know I hate it when people call me that.” “Yep.” Marcella stood up and dusted herself off. “Sounds like you have somewhere to be.” “Nah, Suzy can handle herself without my help.” “That’s what I mean.” “Oh, ha. Well, I’m not too worried about it.” “I thought you were part of the Activity club.” “I was.” “Oh.” There was an awkward pause. Well, awkward for Marcella. Dmitri never seemed to be awkward. Like a middle schooler talking with a high schooler in terse phrases about a ghost club in the woods behind the school was the most normal thing ever. “Weellp, I’ve gotta go. Always nice chatting with you, kid.” She gave Dmitri a pat on the shoulder. The look in his eyes could melt glass but his expression remained unperturbed. His hands never left his pockets. “See ya later, Marcy.” They turned and began to walk in different directions. “Hey Dmitri” Collin’s voice came through the trees. Marcella dove into another bush. “I heard voices, were you talking to somebody?” “Nope. Just coming up with some new lyrics.” “Oh, cool. Should we go after Suzy yet or…” “Eh, give it a minute or so.” The sound of something crashing through the trees came from the direction Suzy had gone. “On second thought, maybe we should check it out.” Marcella stood as they dashed off and removed a small rope with a loop on it from her wrist. The other end hung over a tree branch nearby. It smelled of orange juice. “Who put this thing here?” She muttered to herself. Then she heard a familiar buzzing overhead. “Not again.” Another large fly passed overhead. It wasn’t attacking but it was flying with purpose. “Aw man, I thought I got the last of them.” She rushed after the fly and toward the distant crashing.

“Do you hear it, Collin?” “Yeah I mean it’s pretty loud.” “That’s the sound of a scoop.” “Sounds like a moose.�� “Don’t be ridiculous, Dmitri. A moose sounds more like- wait, I won’t fall for that again. We can’t afford to blow our cover this time.” “Wow, you got me Suzy. Foiled again.” The three were huddled behind an overgrown shed. Nearby, a few rocky outcroppings poked out of the hillside above the forrest of pine trees that stretched for miles around this side of the town. A few of the pine trees below seemed to be moving. This was where the crashing was coming from. “You’re sure you saw the Activity club?” whispered Collin. “Sure I’m sure.” Said Suzy “Just before you got here I saw them go behind that rock.” “That one?” “Didn’t I tell you to go the other way? We coulda flanked ‘em.” “But if I had gone the other way I would-“ “Shhh. Look!” Mr. Spender ascended one of the rock outcroppings and posed dramatically. “Now kids, I want you to pay close attention. This can be a great learning opportunity for all of you. Especially you Isaac.” Suddenly, he flew backward off the rock and landed in the grass below. After a moment, a driving-gloved hand emerged with one finger held upward. “Lesson one: Never let your guard down.” “Thank you for the demonstration, sir.”

“What are they doing?” Whispered Suzy. “Perhaps some kind of elaborate role-playing game.” “Shut up, no one asked you Collin.” “Maybe we should go ask them.” said Dmitri amicably. “Don’t you dare! So help me if you blow our cover I’ll… I’ll… cut your salary for a week!” “Oh no… my salary.” “Well, you’ll be sorry, ok.” “I’m shaking just thinking about it.” “Shh, stop distracting me. I have an idea.”

Marcella was not getting paid enough for this. True, the Consortium never actually paid anybody at all. There had been that thing with the ecto tokens for a while until people began to realize that the tokens got up and walked away every time you stopped watching them and they always seemed to end up in BL’s treasure hoard in the end. Regardless, she wasn’t getting paid enough for this just on general principle. The fly wasn’t moving at full speed which meant she could just barely keep up with it. “Land, you dumb bug.” she said between gritted teeth. Her side hurt from all the running she had been doing and she was feeling quite dehydrated. Suddenly the ground dropped away in front of her and she skidded to a halt. Ahead were a few rocks, a shed, and the flailing tendrils of a horrifying monstrosity. This was where the fly was headed. “Oh no,” She gasped “It’s a Putrimoid.”

Suzy had a plan. Whatever the Activity club was doing, it was definitely illegal. If not now, it could be illegal later she was sure. It all depended on how she spun the story. And she would get the story whatever it took. “Collin, you’re with me. I need somebody to carry the camera case. We’re going to get some shots from down there, right next to the action. Dmitri, you stay up here and get some establishing shots, B-rolls, rolling shutters, stuff like that.” Dmitri thought quickly. “Thanks for trusting me with the more important job, Suzy. I’ll be able to get way better shots from up here without any trees or anything in the way.” “Hmm, on second thought, maybe you should go down and try your luck in the trees. As the head journalist, it is my responsibility to make sure we get the best photographs possible for our audience. Therefore I shall take pictures from up here.” “Sure thing, Suzy.” Said Dmitri. He breathed a sigh of relief to himself as he crept down the hill. No need to add Suzy and Collin getting squashed to the mix of today’s problems.

Marcella considered her options. A Putrimoid was the result of a dying animal, usually a deer caught by a wolf or something, which ends up as a ghost at the same time as a related spirit is created from something nearby. If these two come together in just the wrong way, they can get stuck together. Potentially things can get worse from there and the spirits can mutate and grow and feed off of the purification of the dead animal which is where they draw their name. Really gross, really dangerous. Highly likely to poltergeist. This one had flailing tendrils almost as long as the surrounding trees were tall. Some other spirits and ghosts including the bloatfly hovered around it at relatively safe distance. Sadness on this scale tends to attract them. Occasionally a stray tendril would slice through one that got too close and it would poof out of existence. The trees crashed and waved where it struck them. Clearly a full-blown poltergeist. “Ooh, boy. How do I handle this?” A bolt of electricity arced from behind a rock and struck the end of a tentacle. It recoiled momentarily and then lashed out with a violent smack that shook the ground. “No, no, no, no! The journalists will see you!” After a moment’s hesitation Marcella’s brows set in a determined frown. She clenched her fist and leapt from the cliff.

“Did you see that!” “You’re kneeling on my neck.” moaned Collin, his voice slightly muffled. “A good stepladder wouldn’t complain so much. There was some kind of flash and the whole ground shook!” “I think they’re just setting off some fireworks or something. I doubt we’re going to see anything interesting today.” “Dmitri! Why are you back already?” Dmitri shrugged. “Eh, I couldn’t find any good places to take pictures. Besides, there’s nothing interesting to see anyway.” The ground shook with a boom that shook rocks loose from the hillside. A blond spike of hair and a paintbrush emerged from behind a rock with a terrible war cry. The yell descended down the hill out of sight with a flapping of sandals, getting fainter. There was a sharp crack and then the yell got louder again as it came back up the hill. Apparently the charge had met some resistance. “Dmitri!” “Ok, fine, I’ll go back down.”

Time froze as Marcella fell through the air. The sky turned black and filled with an endless starscape. Standing on the forest floor yet towering high above it stood a blocky, roughly humanoid figure holding a massive beam across its shoulders. It’s face was lost in shadow. “WHY DO YOU HESITATE, CHILD?” “I’m not… hesitating. I’m planning my next move.” “THERE IS NO NEED TO PLAN, YOU HAVE MY POWER ON YOUR SIDE.” Marcella glanced at the marble in her hand. At first glance, it appeared to be a flat, dull grey, but if you looked closer you would see intricate details: tiny divots and cracks almost like… craters. “I don’t want to compromise my deal with the consortium. I can’t let the people down there see me.” “I AM THE FULCRUM ON WHICH THE WORLD HANGS. I AM THE SCALES ON WHICH ARE WEIGHED THE SANDS OF TIME. IF I HAD BUT ANOTHER EARTH TO STAND UPON I COULD MOVE THE WORLD. THERE IS NO NEED TO OBSERVE THE PETTY RULES AND REGULATIONS SO NEEDLESSLY PRESSED UPON YOU.” “I’m the same as everybody else, Fulcrum. And you’re not as great as you think.” Color returned to the world as Marcella’s feet touched lightly down to the rocky hillside. The marble turned blue and white again and she slid more heavily down some gravel and stopped behind a tree. She peaked briefly around it to make sure everyone’s attention was still on the shaking trees ahead and then ducked her head and darted between the pines.

Max lounged against a moss-covered rock, bat hanging loosely at his side. “Nice going, Isaac. Almost got it that time.” “Maybe if you would help a little we could actually make some progress here.” Spender was giving some inspirational instruction from the sidelines which was difficult to hear over the din from the trees below. Isabel was busy elsewhere on another mission which she had called ‘more important than some weak old rot ghost’. Ed was making another attempt at a charge. This time he managed to cut almost a whole inch off the tip of a tendril with an ink slash before making a hasty retreat. “Nah, it looks like you guys have got it under control. Anyway, what am I supposed to do? I’ve got magnet powers. Do you see anything magnetic?” “Well, you could try doing something.” seethed Isaac. “What if you ran up to there and then I could push you up over the thing with a wind blast. You could aim your bat down at a weak spot and I could shoot a lightning bolt through the bat and deal some devastating damage!” “Wow, what a great plan. I like it… except maybe for the part where I get tossed through the air over an angry tentacle monster and then you shoot a lightning bolt at me.” “Well, you come up with something then!” “I have.” “What is it?” “You’re looking at it.” Max started a game of snake on his phone.

Suzy was beside herself with frustration. “I can’t see anything, they won’t come out from behind that rock but if I get closer, they’ll see me!” “Don’t worry Suzy. I’m sure they’ll have to come out in the open at some point to eat or sleep.” Collin said helpfully. He was sitting in the shade massaging his neck. “No, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands. I’m just going to have to go down there, no matter the risk.” “Ok, well have fun.” “Oh, I will. I certainly will. Muahahaha” “You know your evil laugh would be more convincing if you actually were laughing not just saying muahaha like a normal word.” “Let me have this Collin.”

The beast loomed through the trees ahead. A pulsating shapeless mass with dozens of protruding tentacles flailing in every direction. Some passed through the things they struck without a mark, others thrashed through the trees with a horrible cacophony of destruction. The overall effect was very disconcerting. “Ok, here we go.” said Marcella, but her feet didn’t move. Heroics are more easily said than done. “I just need to find an opening.” Suddenly there was a calm. The tendrils calmed for a moment and a sudden hush fell over the valley. “What is…?” Then the Putrimoid shivered and a large eye opened on its side. It was red-rimmed, twitchy, and opened sideways but it was definitely a functioning eyeball because it looked directly at Marcella. “Oh no. It mutated again.” Marcella barely had time to dodge as a tendril came smashing down on the place she had been standing moments earlier. She stumbled into a tree. “This is not good.”

Ed had an idea. It was a good idea because he had seen it in the movies multiple times and it almost always worked. “I’m going in!” He proclaimed. Max looked at him skeptically but Isaac, who was more in tune with common story tropes, began to look panicked. “N-No! Ed, that is not going to work! Do NOT-“ “That’s what they always say.” Said Ed grimly “But sometimes a man’s just gotta do what he’s gotta do.” “Ed!” Ed began to charge down the hill once more, but something was different this time. Maybe it was the set of his shoulders, maybe it was the hard, steely look in his eyes, or maybe it was the fact that his battle cry was so high pitched it could have shattered plate glass.

Marcella was nearly exhausted. There were only so many tentacles you could dodge before your luck ran out. She took cover behind one of the sturdier-looking trees as another attack flew by. “I can’t even get close to it.” The massive eye swiveled away from Marcella and towards the open hillside. A small boy with a paintbrush was flailing his way down the hill screaming wildly. “What does he think he’s… oh no.” There was a blur as a tentacle shot forward, almost faster than the eye could follow. It wrapped itself around the boy and hoisted him into the air. Marcella watched helplessly as the tentacle was retracted, pulling the boy in towards its awful bulk. He struggled valiantly but was pulled inexorably inward. Marcella dashed towards him desperately but a tendril caught her before she had gone 5 steps, knocking her to the ground. She watched helplessly as the tentacle finally dragged the boy the last few feet and then with an awful ’schlorp’ he disappeared into the grisly mass. “You fetid freak! You pustule of incontinence!” Marcella yelled. “I will be your end if it kills me!” The putrimoid paid her no attention. Her vision narrowed, she felt her heart rate spike. This was it. She had to act. She only saw one path forward and it was looking very bumpy. The sky went black. Her marble was in her fist. “Do you have my back Fulcrum?” “ARE YOU HESITATING AGAIN?” “No, just figuring out the timing.” The sky snapped back to blue. Marcella sprinted forward. A tentacle lay limply on the ground, apparently forgotten for the moment as the putrimoid flailed its others. She ducked as another went by her head and then jumped heavily onto the grounded tendril. It snapped upwards reflexively flinging Marcella high into the air. Much higher than she should have flown. For a moment, the earth fell away and she seemed to be suspended in mid air. In the distance was the lake between the two hills of Mayview. The setting sun sparkled off the still water. Pine trees carpeted the landscape below. Marcella looked down. She saw the shed and the cliff with the three journalists one of which was snapping pictures wildly. She saw the Activity club further below, quietly freaking out about their lost comrade. Directly below, the eye of the monster stared up at her looking about as surprised as a horrid tentacled blob is capable of looking. Or maybe she just imagined that part. “Taste the wrath of Jupiter you skrunge!” She shouted. The marble in her fist turned from a dull grey to a pattern of creamy bands adorned with a small red spot. You see, mass may be consistent, but weight is relative and a fulcrum can tilt both ways. A pound of lead may weigh the same as a pound of feathers, but if you move the lead to, say, Neptune, it would weigh much more. If you move the mass on a lever further from the hinge, it tends to have more of an effect. And if you put an angry teenage girl 60 feet in the air and give her the same weight she would have at the core of Jupiter, well… Marcella surrounded herself with a prism of purple spectral energy, point downwards and plummeted at a stomach churning rate. There was a squelch that would scar the memories of everyone present for years and a sudden, deathly silence.

“That was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done!” exclaimed Ed proudly. Ed stood in the middle of a clearing of destruction and pale orange goop and looked around dazed. He was covered with slime from head to toe. “Wow Ed!” Said Max. “I didn’t think you had it in you, but in the end, it was the Blob that had you in it.” “I knew you could do it.” Said Isaac, trying to sound nonchalant. “Never doubted it for a second.”

“Yes! Victory! I finally have definitive proof that the Activity Club is up to no good! My scheme has finally succeeded!” Suzy held up her camera in victory. Collin sat against the shed rubbing his neck. “At least call it a plan or something. You don’t have to flat out say you’re evil.” he muttered. “Hovering around weirdly has got to be against some kind of rule somewhere!” Ed’s antics today had looked very strange from a non-spectral perspective. “Oh, hey, Suzy. By the way.” Dmitri walked over to the shed where they were hiding again. “Did you remember to replace the memory card after I took it out to use in my camera?” “Memory card!?” Suzy frantically checked the card slot on her camera. “I told you to do that before we left!” “Oh, whoops.” “Dmitriiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!”