#EDDIE DIAZ TIME IS PASSING WITHOUT U

[gayeddieagenda]

eddie have u talked to your son about how you were just barely older than him when you met shannon. have u talked to your son about how u were a teenager and didn't know who you were but u got set on a path anyway. have u shown him your wedding photos lately. your prom photos. how young u were in both of them, playing dress-up in a rented suit. shannon left chris a letter; what did u tell him? how does chris even start to understand what eddie and shannon's relationship was actually like for them (how does eddie?)? i know eddie is about 10 thousand miles away from understanding what is going on in his own heart but he is rapidly running out of time when he can push everything away on the assumption that chris is too young to understand. he's almost the age eddie was when he got started on this path he's still on today - is eddie still too young to understand how he got here? where he wishes he was? where he wants to be in five, six, seven years, when chris is the age eddie was when he was starting a family?

[dangerpronebuddie]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

My five favorite fics?? Hmmm... This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.

The Pain is UnBEARable (4.7k)

The first Danger Prone Diaz fic I ever wrote and honestly my favorite so far. I had so little confidence in my writing when I posted this and I got so many compliments on the pacing of the story- something I always thought I sucked at- but beyond that I LOVE the whump and humor in this one.

My Life Is Gonnto Be Bee-u-tiful (1.2k)

My dyslexia fic!! It's probably my most favorite alongside the bear trap. I love the sweetness of the fic and how Buck immediately starts trying to help him. I've always wanted to write a sequel, but I haven't got around to it yet.

I Am What I Am Cause You Trained Me (4.9k)

This fic was SO cathartic to write. It took me months to finish, but I am really happy with how it turned out. And not just because of the Helena Diaz bashing! (Though that is a major plus lol). I was stuck on how to include Buck in the matter without making it seem like he was fighting a battle for Eddie instead of with him. I think I did a pretty good job 😊.

Oh What A Way To Die (3.4k)

I know it doesn't have a happy ending, but I'm really proud of the imagery and introspection in this one. I said I was gonna do a part 2, but I think I like this one as is.

Baby, I'm Never Gonna Leave You (11.9k)

The whump in this one!! I'm so proud of it. Another one I fought with for MONTHS, writing and rewriting till I got it where I wanted it. I think besides the whump, the actual mystery involved was so fun to write. Weaving it all together for part 2 though is proving to be just as big of a challenge and I have... 2 weeks? to finish it in time for Spooktober. 😅

[ontoheartache]

wip wednesday

tagged by: @gayhoediaz

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Buck was never supposed to exist in a world without Eddie Diaz in it.

And yet, the world spins on while Buck's whole world slips away in a room he cannot enter.

They said it was a coma, said he could wake up any day just like he had after the shooting, but Buck knew better. Buck could see it written all over their faces. Eddie wasn't going to make it out of this one. This coma was permanent, in the same way bullet wounds and drowning could've been, had Buck's luck run out just the slightest bit sooner. If it was ever going to run out, Buck is of the opinion that it should've been under that truck. It should've been in the waves when all was lost. It should've happened amongst the flames in that warehouse. It should've happened in the storm when the lightning stopped his heart. It never, ever, should've been Eddie. Not when it could've been Buck.

Not now. Not after Eddie's will. Not now that Eddie is going someplace that Buck cannot follow, no matter how badly he wants to.

Buck would've dug himself down 40 feet and suffocated amongst the mud. Buck would've thrown himself into the sniper's line of fire. Buck would've signed his life away to Eddie, given the chance, and yet here he is with Eddie's whole world left in his lap and a duty to protect it, and he cannot run away. Not from this. Not from Christopher. But, but, but. But he wishes, in his most selfish thoughts, that Eddie could never go somewhere that Buck couldn't follow. He wishes the earthquake would've taken him instead.

Because of course it was an earthquake. Of course it was Eddie, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course.

Buck wants to go home, but home is on the other side of the door. So he sits and he stares and he waits.

The nurse tells him, so gently, that he doesn't have to wait out there all night. Buck doesn't even meet her eyes. The scrape on the wall is more of a smudge, and it kind of looks like a heart, and his is broken. So he waits.

He blinks, and Bobby is sitting across from him covering up the smudge-heart. His eyes are as sad as Buck has ever seen them.

"Buck – " he starts, stops, and lowers his gaze. The sympathy in his voice is enough to make Buck's hands shake. "Son, I think you should go home."

A beat passes. A nurse walks between them.

Buck says, "My home doesn't exist anymore." And the worst part is that he wants to mean it, but Christopher is sitting in the waiting room with Carla, judging by Bobby’s presence, and as long as he breathes then Buck's home still stands. Bobby's face tells him that he knows it.

"You need some rest, kid," he says. Buck scoffs, eyes red and swollen, and doesn't bother with a response. He only leans forward and rests his forehead on his arms.

He hears Bobby sigh, listens as the man stands and waits for him to walk away.

A hand rests on top of Buck’s head instead, Bobby’s fingers carding through his hair. “I love you, kid. He does, too. He’d want you to rest.”

Buck doesn’t say a word. The gray sleeves of his hoodie dampen as fresh tears soak into the fabric.

He waits until Bobby leaves, quiet as he came, to let his whole body shudder with the force of his grief.

tagging: @gayhoediaz (i know u tagged me, but lacho 🤨) @lesbiandiaz @buddieblr @eddiebabygirldiaz + anyone else that wants to. sorry if you've been tagged before (not u nie <3)

[babybuckleydiaz]

Hey, I was wondering if you take request? If you do, may I please request a Buck and Eddie idea where Buck and Eddie are dating and Eddie's parents turn up unannounced and they hate buck for losing Christopher in the tsunami and when Eddie goes to work, his parents verbally hurt buck causing him to leave and Christopher overhears everything and tells Eddie when he gets home and they leave to get their buck? I absolutely love a caring and protective Eddie.

an/ i am so sorry to make you wait so long, and i hope that this was worth the wait, hun. thank you so much for prompting this, i enjoyed writing it. 

  Today was one of the rare days where Eddie had gone to work without Buck by his side, so the younger firefighter had been spending his Saturday with his favourite little Diaz. As much as Buck loved to be working alongside his boyfriend and making sure that the other was safe, he enjoyed having his one on one time with Christopher and just unwinding in a place that he knows he is loved. It beats the loneliness of his apartment walls. Right now found both Buck and Christopher curled up on the couch, a book opened up on the adult’s lap with the kid leaning heavily into the other’s side. Curled up and safe against Buck.

  The atmosphere had been peaceful and quiet, but that had all been ruined by a knocking off the door that caused both the people in the house to jump in freight at the sudden noise. “That scared the sh- heck out of me.” Buck chuckled, and the slip up he almost made caused Christopher to giggle as Buck jumped up to his feet when the knocking at the door began once more; this time a little louder than the first time. Opening the door, Buck is caught off guard and more than surprised at the two people that stand strongly before him.

  The last people that he had been expecting to see when he answered the door was Helena and Ramon Diaz, looking annoyed that he had been the one to answer the door instead of their son. “Oh, um. Hi?” Buck says, confused because Eddie hadn’t hold him that he had been expecting a visit from his parents, and he was underprepared for the two people to be standing before him. And outnumber because these two never once tried to hide their dislike for their son’s boyfriend.

  “Evan. Where is Edmundo?” Questions Ramon, pushing passed the young firefighter to get into the house and beginning looking around for his son. But the annoyance that was on his face was replaced with a bright smile when he saw his grandson sitting on the couch, moving over and pulling the young child into a hug; one that Christopher happily returned with an excited smile on his face. “Oh Christopher, my boy!” Happily says Helena as she too pushes passed Buck, who sighs before running a hand through his hair and down his face as he shuts the door behind them. “Sure, come on in.” He mumbles, only loud enough for himself and would have fallen on deaf ears anyway.

  “Eddie is at work, doesn’t finish for another four hours.” Buck explained in response to the question that had been asked of him earlier, and he is raising an eyebrow when Ramon stands up straight after letting go of his grandson. He whirls around and looks at Buck, who doesn’t miss the anger that he sees there. Nor does he miss it on Helena’s face when the woman turns to barely look at him before making her way to greet and hug her grandson.

  “And he left our grandson with you? Seriously?” Buck flinches back as if he had been physically struck by the older man, the question being one that he never expected to be asked. “U-Uh yeah? Why wouldn’t he, I’m capable of looking after Chris.” Was the response that he had given back, not too sure whatever the older man could be meaning when he had asked that. He was more than capable of looking after Chris for a couple of hours, the kid is most of the time a dream to babysit for the day. An easy kid to look after.

  “I’m just surprised he would make the same mistake after last time.” Ramon utters under his breath as if what he said was nothing more than an afterthought and Buck frowns deeply at the words. “Excuse me?” Buck is annoyed now, because he had no idea what the hell Ramon was trying to imply as he spoke, and he’s angry that these people who barely even know him have judged him so easily. “You know exactly what he means.” Helena adds in, having had let go of Christopher and is now standing by her husband’s side; Chris sitting on the couch and watching the scene going on in front of him. “Hey Chris, buddy?” Buck ignores the other two adults for a moment in favour of turning his attention to the child with a smile on his face, one that’s kinda and loving. At the sound of Buck’s voice, Christopher looks from his grandparents and turns to look at the firefighter. “Can okay to go in your room for a while, we’re going to be talking about some grown up stuff.”

  Buck doesn’t want Christopher to be around for this conversation, and it was as if the young boy could see that is exactly what Buck wanted and nods his head happily at the older male. “Course, Bucky!” Christopher announces, and uses his crutches to push himself off the couch before he is making his way down the hall and into the bedroom, the door slightly jarred and Buck sighs as he watches the kid he loves so much go.

  And as much as he doesn’t want to deal with this right now, he turns his attention back to the two Diaz parents who are looking at him with barely concealed anger. “What the hell is your problem with me?” Buck jumps in first before either of them can get a chance to start, confused and annoyed that these two have come and ruined a perfectly peaceful and nice day that he and Christopher were enjoying. “I haven’t done anything wrong to either of you.” Buck says, because he hasn’t done anything at all that could have made these two hate him as much as they seem to do. But at his words, Ramon snorts a laugh that holds absolutely no humour inside of it.

  “We almost lost Christopher because of you, I warrant that as a good enough reason to dislike you.” Ramon cruelly says, and for a moment Buck is absolutely confused as to what this man was getting out before it hits him like a ton of bricks. His body growing cold and eyes widening as it is made perfectly clear it was that Ramon was talking about.

  The Tsunami.

  “Are you serious, the tsunami was a freaking natural disaster! I did my best to try and keep Christopher safe!” Buck hisses, not wanting to let either of these people come in here and blame him for something that was a natural disaster, they have no idea what he or Christopher had gone through that day on the pier. “Oh really? Your best?” Helena huffed. “Then clearly your best wasn’t good enough, because you lost him in the middle of it! He could have been killed!” buck can understand why they are thinking like this, he really can, because he had struggled so badly with no blaming himself for losing Christopher but that doesn’t give them the right to treat him as they currently are. “You’re are not fit to be looking after our grandson! I have no idea why Edmundo left him in your care.” Ramon says distastefully, and Buck rolls his eyes as he scoffs. Because as long as Eddie trusts him then that is all he needs to focus on.

  But he can’t deny that that feeling of self-doubt is crawling back up his bones, because what if Eddie was still mad? Buck quickly shakes his head as if to rid himself of the thought. If Eddie didn’t still trust him with Christopher then he would have made it painfully obvious and wouldn’t have left his son in Buck’s care the day after the tsunami. But the words being screamed at him do nothing to help all the work that he has done to try and move passed that day and all the trauma that had come hand in hand with it.

  “Well, we are here now and you can leave. We’ll look after our grandson now, thank you.”

  Once more Buck scoffs as he shakes his head. “No way, Eddie left Chris in my care, he trusts me with his son.” Buck presses on, not wanting to relent to what they were asking him; but he can’t help when the trembling in his hand begins and his heart beats a little too fast for his own liking. But he stands unrelenting none the less.

  “ I don’t care if our son left him in your care.” Ramon begins, and Buck doesn’t say anything yet, instead he clenched his jaw and looked at the older man in the eye. Whatever they have to say will never be worse than what his own parents have ever said to him, he can easily take this.

  “We are Christopher’s grandparents and we cannot trust you to look after him, you are unfit to do so. You’ve done nothing but proved that, and we don’t want you to look after him.” Ramon is ruthless in what he has to say, and Helena standing there the entire time in support of what her husband has to say, nodding her head every few moments as Ramon continues to make his points. Leaving Buck’s heart dropping in their wake. “And we are not going to wait around and have the day come that you get him killed in your care.” Buck eyes widened, because did they seriously think that he was that unfit in watching Christopher that he would get the kid killed? We’re they seriously saying that right now? Buck really couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now.

  “I-I-“ Buck didn’t know what he was even going to say before he was cut off anyway, Ramon holding up his hand in front of Buck to silence him and Buck hates himself for how quick it worked. “Get out right now, okay? Don’t bother saying goodbye to Christopher, because we will convince Eddie to stay clear of you.”

  Not knowing what he can say to change their minds or even make them see common ground, that being Christopher’s safety, Buck just nods his head slowly. He looks down at the room that Christopher is in, and as much as he wants to ignore them and go and say goodbye to the kid, he doesn’t do that. He’s not about to give Ramon and Helena another reason to go off on him. Wordlessly, he grabs his jacket and his keys as he roughly puts his shoes on; lips pulled down into a sad and angry frown the whole time doing so.

  With one last look at Ramon and Helena, Buck is out the door without Christopher even knowing.

---------

  One thing that Eddie wasn’t expecting when he got home was the silence that filled the house, having had expecting the childish laughter of his son and his boyfriend as they caused absolute havoc on the house. But instead there is nothing of the sort, just the television playing softly and the chatter of two voices that Eddie hadn’t been expecting. Unlocking the front door and entering the living room, Eddie is greeted with the sight of his mother and father sitting on the couch, conversing quickly amongst themselves.

  The second thing that he notices is what Buck is nowhere to be seen, only now clicking onto the fact that his jeep wasn’t in the driveway where it was usually parked when he stayed over. Noticing all of this, Eddie can’t help that he is already annoyed and defensive; but usually his parents being here doesn’t always been the best news for him. “Ah Edmundo, you’re finally back!” Helena happily announces, seeing her son standing in the doorway with a frown on his face as he looks around. “Oh Christopher is playing in his bedroom, do not worry.” She says, as if that was the only thing that he was worried about in this moment, but he was able to hear Christopher moving around in his room so that wasn’t something he was too concerned about at this given moment.

 Instead he finds himself asking “Where’s Buck?” Before even giving his parents a proper greeting, but he isn’t in the mood for their dramatics right now, and them being here usually ends in arguments that he doesn’t want to deal with. Sighing, Helena just smiles softly at her son instead, knowing that he obviously wasn’t in the best mood right now. “Ah, once we got here he decided to leave and go back to his apartment.” At that, Eddie frowns because he already knows that isn’t the truth, he and Buck had a lot of plans for after work with Christopher, ones that Buck himself was excited for. But he knows that Buck wouldn’t have left without letting his boyfriend know that the plans needed to be changed. Buck has always contacted Eddie when he wasn’t going to be home if Eddie finished work long after he himself had.

  The sound of Christopher’s crutches clicking down the hallway distracted him before he could open his mouth to call them out on their bullshit, a determined but sad expression marring his features. “Hey buddy, you okay?” Eddie questions, forgetting his parents are even there and instead focusing on his son, who should never have to look as sad as he currently does. Christopher moves as quickly as he could to stand by his father’s side, looking at his grandparents before nodding to himself and taking a breath. “Hey, whatever you need to say just say it kiddo, don’t worry about them.” Eddie encourages, not caring about the displeased grunt that his father makes in response to his words.

  He and Christopher do not keep secrets from each other, and he doesn’t want the secret keeping to start now when it was clear that his son has something that he thinks is super important.

  “They’re lying about Bucky leaving, they’re mean to him.” That isn’t something that Eddie had expected to come out of his son’s mouth, and he grows a look over his shoulder at his parents before turning his attention back onto his son; prompting the younger boy to keep talking. But he seems hesitant when he looks over at his grandparents once again, obviously not wanting to make them mad but he’s clearly concerned for Buck and needed to say what it was he wanted to get out.

  “It’s okay, kid. Eyes on me, you can talk to me.” Eddie reassures with such a patient and soft smile on his face, Christopher’s eyes searching his face and nodding to himself before he begins speaking once more.

  “Bucky left because they told him to, they were yelling at him and were mean to him.” Christopher admits, and any anger that Eddie is feeling at those words, he’s pushing them down because he’s talking to his son right now. His parents will get getting a piece of his mind though, that was for sure. “They think he’s going to get me killed and that you shouldn’t trust him to look after me.” Christopher has tears in his eyes as he shakes his head though, because he feels as though he needs to explain to even his father that he’s safe with Buck. “But Bucky has always protected me, he keeps me safe! They blame him for the tsunami, but that wasn’t his fault!”

  Seeing easily that his son was getting worked up, Eddie pulls the kid into his arms and whispers something in his ear that no one apart from Christopher can hear. “It’s alright, Chris. Calm down, I know.” He sooths, running a hand through his son’s hair as Christopher listening to him; taking calming breaths like Buck had taught him not long after the tsunami had happened.

  “Now, why don’t you run along and pick out some clothes and shoes.” Eddie prompts with a smile, Christopher already agreeing with a determined look because he knew what it was that he and his father were going to do. They were going after their Bucky. “Okay, dad.” He responds even as tears still slide down his cheeks, and Eddie gives him a kiss on his forehead as he brushes his cheeks with his thumbs, dying the tears as they fall.

  With that, Eddie pushes himself to his feet and looks at his parents with nothing but anger written on his face.

  “Look Edmundo-“ Eddie doesn’t even give them the chance to speak their mind and trying to explain what they were doing because he doesn’t want to heart it. “Save it.” He cuts off harshly, he is so angry right now. “Who the hell do you think you are, telling Buck that he will get Christopher killed? What the hell is wrong with both of you?” And now, Eddie really doesn’t care that he is being rude because they had no damn right to come in here and tell Buck that he had to leave. He was beyond furious, because Buck does not deserve to be treated so horribly.

  “You also have no right to undermined my parents and decide who I should trust my son with.” Angrily states the young firefighter, and Ramon and Helena stay silent because they already know they won’t be able to explain themselves and their actions. “Who I trust my son with is up to me, and no one else. And I trust Buck to look after Christopher.” Eddie says, and it really is as simple as that. Because as he said before: there was no one else in this world he trusts with Christopher then Buck. He meant it then and he still means it now.

  “By the time I get back, I want both of you gone. I’m far too angry at both of you right now. You have no fucking right to do what you did.”

  Briefly, Eddie wonders if he is blowing this out of the water, if he’s going over the top for what the situation is. But then he remembers the expression on Christopher’s face moments ago and how Buck must be feeling to realise how he isn’t overreacting what so ever. He’ll deal with his parents later, when he has calmed down. Because right now he has a boyfriend to worry about and bring back home.

--------

  “Okay, I’m coming. Jesus.” Buck sighs tiredly as he makes his way down the stairs when hard knocking on the door had woken him up from  a light sleep. Jogging down the stairs and to the front door, he doesn’t even really bother to check who is here, just opening it and then making a surprised sound at the people who greet him.

  “Bucky!” Christopher cries out happily as he horrible forward and goes to stand by the older man, who bends down to hug him and kiss the top of his head. “Hi there, kiddo!” He happily says back, his whole mood having shifted seeing the kid he loved so much and his wonderful boyfriend, who is smiling softly at the scene. “Not that I don’t love seeing you both, but what are you doing here?” He questions, moving out of the way and allowing his loved ones to enter his apartment, Eddie closing the door softly behind him. “Well, Christopher told me what happened today so I thought I could come and drag your butt back home.” Eddie explained in response, as if it was the most simple thing on the earth and Buck can’t help but blink in surprise.

  “Eds, it’s no big deal. Go spend some time with your parents.” Buck says, nodding his head at Christopher who motions for the television; leaving Eddie and Buck to talk about things that he really shouldn’t have to be concerned with. “Hm, nah. I’m good.” Eddie smiles, and Buck can’t help but snort and shake his head before his small smile drops and a frown takes over his expression; and it makes Eddie sad to see. At the end of the day he thinks the only expression that should be on Buck’s face is one of pure happiness.

  Or Euphoria but that isn’t the point that Eddie was trying to focus on right now.

  “They’re wrong, Buck.” Eddie says before Buck can even begin to say what it was that he was going on, because the older man already knew what it was going on in that wonderful head of his boyfriend’s. “I meant it said when I trust you with Christopher, I know that you will always protect him as best as you can.” The tone in Eddie’s voice was serious now, and he moves to cut the side of his boyfriend’s face, thump gently tracing his cheek bone as he smiled something so soft and loving that it never failed to leave butterflies in the younger’s stomach. “In the tsunami, you tried with everything you had to find him, okay? I know you never would have given up.” Buck remains silent, but Eddie doesn’t miss the tears that begin to burn in his eyes.

  “I should have tried harder, Eddie. I never should have lost him to begin with.”

  This is something that will always be quick to break the older man’s heart so quickly; and that was Buck’s habit for blaming absolutely everything on himself without hesitating. “Baby, don’t do that to yourself.” Eddie pleads, an unusually soft tone that he usually keeps reserved for Buck and Christopher, and it’s so gentle and patient that the tears in Buck’s eyes fall down his cheeks. “Don’t get so lost in your own self-doubt that I can’t find you, because I don’t and never will blame you for keeping separated from Chris that day.” This is a repeat of a conversation that they used to have so many times, and Eddie can’t help but resent his parents for making them have it once more.

  “You were both caught in a natural disaster and you did the best that you could, love. You worked yourself to the bone until you had your eyes on that kid again.”

  That was something that the dark haired man doesn’t think he could ever get, watching Buck collapse to the ground as all the fight had left his body at the sight of Christopher in his father’s arms. He just dropped and just thinking about it makes Eddie’s chest twist so painfully. And he hates that he couldn’t convince Buck to stay with him and Christopher that night, that Buck would have gone back to an apartment alone and hurt; it’s one of his biggest regrets that day. He can’t help but wonder if Buck’s feelings about that whole day would have played out the same, of having himself and Chris there that night might have played in his favour.

  “Now, you’re coming home with Chris and I, okay. We will always want you with us, no matter what my parents say.” Buck doesn’t open his mouth to protest, and that is something that Eddie is going to take as a win. “Because they will always be wrong about you, I will always trust you with Chris; never gonna hesitate about it.” Buck just sniffs back tears as he seems to search Eddie’s expression, trying to find something that will counter every word that he had just said but he doesn’t find a single thing. But everything that Eddie had just said he means it with his whole heart and being. “You know, I really fucking love you, Eddie.” Buck whispers as he is pulled into a hug by the older male, burying his face in the crook of Eddie’s neck and taking a moment to soak in the love the other is offering. He can feel the other chuckle, the sound vibrating in Eddie’s chest as he brings up a hand to cup the back of the younger’s head; fingers trailing gently through his hair.

  “Good cause I love you too, and you’re not getting rid of us.” Eddie replies. “Ever.” And to himself, Buck smiles because that sounds like something that he could happily live with.

[fcntasmas-archive]

hi!! i'm the anon who started 911 after her exams back in may, idk if u remember me? my last ask was in may (?) when i was through s1 and now a lot of time has passed but i'm slow as FUCK when it comes to watching shows. however! just in time for s5, i finished s4 on saturday and man. what have you dragged me into. i have a FEELS (imma try to keep it short). 1: i said: stop hurting buck. 911 said: no :) (my dumbass son has been through so much PLEASE make the universe stop kicking him in the face) 2: i love eddie diaz everyone loves eddie diaz. prayer circle for him to go to therapy. also chris is indeed a national treasure. 3: god bless carla. 4: if hen and athena so much as looked at me with a stink eye i'd pee my pants and give up on life. they can step on me and i'll say thank you 5: why are eddie and buck married without them knowing. JESUS [insert what was the reason vid here] 6: I AM SO PROUD OF ALL OF THEM FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR!!!!! petition to stop hurting my bbys!!! i'll start doing arm workouts so i can give the team a power hug and fight the universe when it throws the next bunch of traumatizing life-altering events at them. THAT'S IT!! (also you said i was through the roughest patch but, uh. doug? tsunami?? shannon??? ladder truck???? athena attack????? hen + nia situation + med school?????? i-) i'm giving you the biggest hug!! thank you for this hyperfixation!! and your blog and presence!!! mwah!! have a lovely day!! and watching 911 later!!! ❣ - exam anon

oh my god HELLO YES OFC I REMEMBER YOU!!! i'm so happy you came back and that you watched it omg fjdsaklfj that's amazing???? i'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO BE WATCHING LIVE THIS SEASON it's gonna take over your life even more i'll tell you that much right now i am so glad you have all the right opinions and i am so happy you're sharing them with me now i feel so empowered by this (also cough i meant roughest patch in terms of writing,,,,, yeah you definitely had a lot to go through I'M SORRY) i'm giving you the biggest hug RIGHT BACK and than you so much for sending this and i hope to see you around more often to cry together ily <333

[datleggy]

i think buck is so good for eddie (and christopher too) specifically bc buck isn’t afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve?

like he unashamedly admitted in front of the team that he always cries at those soldier family reunification videos, his voice notably shakes/cracks when he’s distressed, he’s always physically affectionate, and god thru out the whole ep where he thinks he’s being replaced at the firehouse and eventually talks to that shit lawyer?????????????? LITERAL TEARS IN HIS EYES THE ENTIRE TIME

buck does not shy away from his feelings, as opposed to eddie, who could be going thru hell and stay stone faced about it. i feel like even in the ep where shannon passed he was like >___> and even when buck told eddie he lost christopher in the tsunammi???? he had an OBVIOUS pained expression bc thats his SON but he didn’t lash out or start sobbing or anything, just kind of stood there (which i get it, i’d be in deep denial too) but STILL!

i was glad to see eddie finally break down and talk to someone (bobby---aka everyones dad) about how much he was hurting and i’m especially glad for that bc i think christopher needs to see that more often, so that he feels safe expressing his own inner turmoil (the kids been thru A LOT) instead of putting on a happy face for everyones sake!

and i think in the long run buck will really help eddie and christopher be able to be more open to sharing/expressing these feelings without the need to hide behind a facade, bc buck himself is so unabashedly demonstrative with his emotions.

like when he confronts eddie time and again after the lawsuit incident so that they can TALK and work things out--and not just in the ep after, but in this latest one in the now famous kitchen scene where eddie tries to brush it off like hey its fine all under rug swept man, but buck is like UM NO ITS NOT, NOT TO ME, IM SORRY FOR NOT BEING THERE FOR U GUYS!

and also at the pier before the tsunami when he was spending the day with christopher he was so open talking about his feelings with this nine year old instead of patronizing him or pretending he’s a-okay, he legit asks christopher for his opinion on the matter and LISTENS and christopher is able to comfort him and see that feeling down is OK like jbgrjnkea gszoureiwpok fltgrgeadvf im sorry i have so many feelings about the diaz family (which obv includes Evan Buck Diaz)

[judesstfrancis]

a note on race in 911

I'm trying to sound........Nice here, bc I know a lot of u are like literal children and maybe u just don't know certain Nuances then and that's fine that's not your fault it's a product of society not teaching u these things bc they don't traditionally apply to u etc etc

so this is going to be a nice informational post free of my own yelling for once bc I genuinely want u to understand, so if this gets a little long bear with me, I'm trying

I want to start off by saying I'm talking about the portrayal of a mexican american man as a mexican american person myself. I don't have experience with other races, bc I'm only latine, so that's why this is what I'm sticking to. it's not to ignore anything else, it's to stay in my own lane

in the newest episode we have seen that eddie diaz, a latino man, suddenly has Anger Issues. anger issues which have, up to now, never made an appearance in canon, not even by a passing mention. he decides to deal with these rising issues by taking up street fighting.

my problem here is the glaring stereotype that brown men, specifically latino men, are angry. that they're all volatile, that they all fight, that they all have something simmering just under their skin that makes them somehow dangerous.

and up to this point all we've really seen is a kind man with a son who keeps his friends and family safe and does his best to do right by everyone. even when a coworker hated him, he treated them with kindness and respect. something that latine people have to do all to often to just get by, but in this case I genuinely think with his characterization that's just how he Is. he's nice, he's a sweet guy.

and maybe the dig at his son is what set him off in the first place. if it had left at that, I would have been fine. sure, a casual misstep maybe, but hey I'd do the same thing in the same situation. but it clearly isn't. bc it's still happening, bc through out the episode he keeps blowing up. he keeps shouting and at the end he's shown street fighting.

again, there's no previous basis for this to happen.

romanticizing this or reacting to it in any positive way is a problem. using it as a plot device for buck to Fix Him, using it to further your angst headcanons, particularly if they lead to him having a bad childhood/home life, are not good.

saying that buck was obviously his impulse control and now that eddie can't talk to him anymore he doesn't know how to act is not good

and that's another thing I've started noticing as the episode settles in for more and more people and we've had more time to theorize and connect dots and wonder what comes next

buck is a white man. eddie is not. depicting buck as somehow being the thing that's going to save eddie plays dangerously into the white saviour trope

eddie doesn't need a white man to save him. maybe he needs help, maybe he needs support, but he doesn't specifically need the magical touch of someone who is white to make him all better

buck isn't his impulse control. he's not the only thing that keeps him together. they work together as a partnership, yes, and they're great together, on this I agree, but buck isn't the one Saving eddie

there's not some power imbalance where buck makes eddie better just by virtue of Being there, where eddie wouldn't be able to survive on his own without him

so those are my two cents! like I said if u didn't know it's an honest oversight, I get it. don't apologize. don't overstretch yourself trying to show me how guilty u are for pity points. realize what you've been playing into, and correct that. keep it in the back of your mind for when you may see the same tropes occur again in other media

and if you're just going to reply to this as a white person telling me why it shouldn't matter then don't bother bc u have clearly missed the point