#EAP's apprentice writes

[nopenototdaysatan]

Where to find "______"?

Art

Grumpy Bunny/Blupee Cuddles: Sketch / Color

Vengeance: Color

Mini Trio: Sketch / Color

Breanna Pride dtiys: Color

Ravioli Napping (w/background): Color

Writing

Fan Poetry-

Ravioli:

Never Had the Chance (7/7)

Vidow:

Healing and Hurting Series-

Hurting and Healing(11/?)

H&H Side Poems(3/?)

Four Swords Manga:

Love and War (1/1)

Fan events-

RavioliShipWeek(7/7)

Satan's October Prompt Extravaganza[ Cozytober, Whumptober, Ai-less Whumptober, and Linktober Shadow] (31/31)

Poetry-

Unseen Denial and Regret

The Tower

Playlists for what I write:

"This is how you get sad Ravioli" [Never Had the Chance Playlist]

"Someday you just gotta rage (The Colors)"

"Hurting and Healing" [Hurting and Healing Playlist]

Tags:

Satan's october prompt Extravaganza (October Prompt Extravaganza 2024)

H&H Side Poems (Hurting and Healing Side Stories Tag)

Satan does Art (Art tag)

EAP's Apprentice writes ( Non fanfiction poetry)

Satan screams at a word doc (fan poetry)

(If I have missed something I'll fix it later. -Rowan)

[nopenototdaysatan]

"Unseen Denial and Regret"

Keep on denying,

Say that my words are not true.

Because all you ever wanted

was to stay eternally true.

But if the day comes

When you see all your lies

I will be laughing

At the regret in your eyes.

[nopenototdaysatan]

Thought it over. Decided why not just bring over all of my work if I already want to post the new stuff. I'm gonna start with my favorites and go from there. I'm gonna read more the ones that are more intense and/or need tw's. The tag will be "EAP's apprentice writes" because it's just what I've gone by for years when writing and I refuse to stop my love for Edgar Allen Poe now.

The first poem is gonna be posted tonight and is truly special in my heart because it is technically published due to a contest I won with it in my teens. CX

[nopenototdaysatan]

Holding My Chest Open for You

TW: Abuse, trauma, victim blaming from the victim

I once was Free. I once knew myself. I once spoke out. I once was me.

Now, oh Now, I am just a jigsaw of missing pieces Chewed up and spit out. I make the picture they want But never mine. Never ever mine.

I used to know the plan. I used to have a plan. In my naivety I had my life planned out.

And it betrayed me. Who knew my hopes and dreams Could go ahead and betray Every good part of me.

All of the good and Kindness in me It was used against me. My trusting nature. My loving self and loyalty. MY EMPATHY.

You took it! You ripped it into shreds. Destroying me inside out. And I let you! I fucking let you!

I stood there as you cut me to pieces. I stood there as you tore out my hopes I held my chest open as you covered my heart With blades and knives And let my pumping heart destroy itself.

By the time I realized it, It was too late. I was dead. Gone. Goodbye. Breathing through a dead heart And a broken mind.

I could do nothing To feel safe again. Try as I might. I kept trusting the worst. Never seeing the light.

And as my broken mind tried to mend SO much got lost in it. Memories, Myself, My voice, My dreams.

My sense of peace.

Now, I am stuck in a state of panic. Of fear Of Guilt Of shame.

Because only those who are fully good Would not feel ashamed. Surely, I deserve this to some degree If I made mistakes.

If I slept downstairs to get some sleep If I walked away to not be mean If I left the house silently and afraid. If I wasn’t perfect.

Maybe I don’t deserve this. Maybe I never did Maybe I deserved better But the shame is so much stronger.

I am broken. I am scared. I am numb. I am a survivor. And that is so much harder.

[nopenototdaysatan]

Gotta love those days where you need to scream and instead choose to write. I started to come to terms with some of my trauma today and I just needed to write. I do like what came out of it so it's going up. This shit is DARK (because trauma). Please take care of yourselves and don't read this if it is going to upset you.

TW/CW: References to Kidnapping/Being Held Hostage, Abuse

The Tower

How do I live

Knowing what you did to me?

How do I love

Knowing the scars you’ve left on me?

All I can see are the months I spent by your side

Not allowed out on my own.

All I can feel is the silence on my skin

From where you ignored me when I tried to live without you.

I have never known the pain of being ignored till you.

The scars on my mind only matched

By the itch on my skin for any kind of touch

And now tears drying on my face is the only thing I feel.

Please God. Let someone see me.

Let someone touch me.

I can’t be alone anymore.

I can’t be locked away a single day more.

I don’t wanna be here…

I feel silenced. I feel scared.

Someone save me from this tower please!

I don’t wanna be Rapunzel a single day more.

[nopenototdaysatan]

I didn’t see a pinned post so I’m curious, do you write? Draw? If so, is it on ao3?

I have been thinking about making a pinned post so people can find my posts in the middle of reblogs but unfortunately haven't started that.

I do both.

I've got my drawings here under the tag "Satan draws again" and I plan on keeping those here. Stuff I write is on here and on my ao3 here. Probably easier to find the ravioli poem series there than here as I haven't figured out a tag for them.

I've got non fanpoetry pieces here though under the tag "EAP's apprentice writes" because I am that weeb for Edgar Allen Poe. Those pieces might go on AO3 as well just depends.

Not writing or drawing related but I do have a tiktok where for years I've done cosplay related stuff as well if anyone is interested in my ocs which is here.

And then maybe one day I'll dip my feet back into prose. But I have nothing at this time for that. I think that's everything. If it's not, oh well That's what reblogs are for.mm