#E-Sumi-Yan is basically her dad

[wolveragrace]

Pouty baby doesn't like to study. Ficlet under the cut.

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Vera’s eyes scanned the walls as she absently fiddled with the pages of her book. Reading over the page a fifth time was unlikely to make her retain the words if she hadn’t managed to by now. Unfortunately for her, the Stillglade Fane was intended for meditation and focus. As much as she has been allowed to put her own touches on this particular study, there was little to look at except more books, and she was not in the mood.

“I get the impression you aren’t enjoying your gift.”

She glanced behind her at the welcome distraction, surprised that she had not heard him open the door.

“I appreciate the gesture, brother, I really do. It’s just so… dry.”

“I would have thought you’d find the subject of your own heritage fascinating,” he questioned as he came to stand over her desk. “You never tire of asking the newcome adventurers about theirs.”

“A firsthand account of far-off places is a tad more intriguing than a book that manages to make nomadism and horse marriage of all things sound about as interesting as stale toast.”

He ignored the face she was making, leaning over to turn the book to a new page himself.

“That is in reference to a Xaela tribe, I believe. Have you learned naught of the Raen?”

“Besides those that have mysteriously vanished? Most Raen, the group of which I am allegedly a part—” 

He began to cut her off as soon as the word ‘allegedly’ left her mouth. Endearing as her stubbornness could sometimes be, he was trying to encourage her to grow out of it.

“We’ve been over this, Vera. You are not Padjali.”

A pout flashed across her face before she straightened up, mimicking her father's stoic nature. 

“You’re just jealous that I have more horns than you, E-Sumi. Now don’t interrupt. The Raen have fully assimilated into Doma’s culture, placing great importance on hierarchy and the master-servant relationship. Despite their low numbers, they are known to be loyal and trustworthy.” Vera flipped the book closed, relaxing and signaling the end of her miniature lecture. E-Sumi-Yan watched her expectantly, dutifully refraining from interrupting despite the extended pause. She sighed, dropping her eyes to her lap. “The book paints each culture with a single brush. There may be a few interesting details in there, but it’s impersonal. I could memorize it front to back and be no closer to the Au Ra than I am now.”

“You’re disappointed in the book because it’s a book, instead of a person. My purpose in procuring it for you was never to sate your curiosity, but to pique it. You seem so interested in learning about every culture but your own.”

“But it’s not my culture! I’m Gridanian! My home is here, my family—” She cut off her outburst abruptly, but he understood her all the same. My family is here. You’re my family. Not whoever left me or lost me. They’re not here. “Look, I want to see the world, I do. Every last ilm of it. But to go looking specifically for… whoever,” her eyes met his again, wide and pleading. “what if I don’t like what I find?”

“Then you’ll come home.”

[lavarislightshield]

Prompt 22: Free Day

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast spoilers for SHB

Lavalia couldn’t remember a time when she’d dreamed of the Light. He dreams were often disorganized, fractured pieces of memory sharp enough to cut, but they were never bright. She was surrounded by light. It pulsed under her skin, inside her like a heartbeat just out of sync with her own. It filled her, clawed at her, burned. Light had always been gentle, a reprieve but she could feel it now. Lavalia groaned. She pressed her hands to her chest, nails dragging along the skin. It was too hot, too much. She didn’t think she could hold it all. A scream built in her throat and she dug in deeper.

Lavalia!

She couldn’t hold it all. It was going to burst from her – burn her away to ash. She had to get it out.

Godsdamn you wake up!

She thought she could feel a set of hands on hers, pulling them away, Lavalia looked down, and the dream shattered. Her eyes flew open, to find Ardbert standing over her, face twisted with worry and one hand extended as if to touch her. Lavalia reached out to swipe at him, but he stepped back before her hand could pass through him. “What?” She asked. Her clothes were damp, curls fizzed from sleep.

“You were moaning in your sleep.” Ardbert said. The worry hadn’t left his expression, but he gave her her space.

“How do you know I wasn’t having a good dream?”

“I think I know what a moan of pleasure sounds like.”

Lavalia scowled at him. She didn’t have the energy to trade barbs. Instead, she flopped back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling above her.

“What happened?” She hated the softness of his voice, the pity. It made her throat tight.

“Bad dream. Surely you remember them.” She looked at him when he didn’t answer and sighed, rolling onto her side. “I dreamed about a light that consumed everything, and I was the only one who could try to hold it but it felt like it was eating me alive.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“You could tell me why you’re doing all this. I find it hard to believe even someone like us would let themselves be polluted.”

“You’re saying you wouldn’t?” She didn’t need an answer. They were cut from the same cloth. “I was at Carteneau.”

“So I’ve heard.” He leaned against a nearby wall, watching her expectantly.

“It was the site of the last Calamity on the Source… and I was there,” She closed her eyes, the memories were less sharp now, almost ten years later, or maybe so much had happened that they seemed smaller. “I was… almost twenty, and we were at war with the Garlians. Things were already getting bad. The crimson moon seemed to be getting closer, but… I don’t know, I was young… younger. I wasn’t going to sit by while others fought so I enlisted with the Free Companies. I could swing a sword well enough, my dad had taught me.” She smiled slightly at the memory, the argument she’d had with her parents. They blamed it on the fact that she was blessed by the Fury and the Destroyer, a deadly combination. “And I didn’t want to run drills or wait, so I enlisted with the first group that would take me, not realizing that the Free Companies would be on the front lines. I was scared shitless, but it was exhilarating. I thought I could be a hero. Save some people.”

Ardbert small smile tightened the corners of his lips.

“I didn’t know that the Calamity was coming. One minute I was fighting and the next… it was like the sky exploded. There was chaos everywhere. Horns were blown for retreat. I… didn’t see what hit me, maybe it was some rubble or… something, but I fell and a suit of damned magitek armor fell on top of me.” her expression darkened, and she absently rubbed her leg, feeling the phantom shocks of pain. “Shattered my entire right side, right up to the hip. The conjurers told me later that the bones were basically dust. I don’t really know how long exactly I was there.” All she remembered was the agony before her leg had gone numb, screaming for help as the world tore itself apart outside and then grew quiet. She’d tried to push the armor off of her but it was too heavy, and moving even a little sent shockwaves of pain that had dragged her into unconsciousness. She was quiet for a while until Ardbert cleared his throat, “I don’t know how long I was there, but it was long enough that I had just kinda… relaxed.”

“I find it hard to believe you just accepted your fate.”

“What was I going to do? I couldn’t push it off me, and the chances of me being found… I mean I was found. One of the Padjal – E-Sumi-Yan – found me. He couldn’t move the armor by himself, but he had people do it. They were worried about it. Apparently when a limb it trapped it starts to die. Moving anything could kill you. I guess it was lucky he was a White Mage. He purified it, started repairing the bone.” She rolled onto her back again, letting out a tired sigh. “They said I was lucky. Lucky they found me, lucky that I could be fixed with only minor complications.” She frowned, “I’d never seen E-Sumi-Yan so angry as when I tried to get up to help with the search efforts.”

It had taken years for her to recover. She’d had to learn to walk again, and her leg still aggravated her if she pushed herself too hard. “I guess it was the Blessing… but… I swore I wouldn’t let it happen again.”

Ardbert frowned at her, “So you let yourself be ruined by the light?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“And what if this is the wrong thing?”

“Then I’ll deal with it when it comes, but if I don’t try something when I could have I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“There are people that love you! People that want you safe!”

“And they’re right there with me on the front lines. There won’t be a place for us after if we don’t do something. It’s why I haven’t stopped, haven’t really thought about it… well… not since Ishgard.” She fixed him with a hard stare, "You can't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing. I will save this world or I will die trying. My kids will have a world where they don't have to fear extinction, and by the gods, my wife will go back to her shop one day."

"That's... admirable, perhaps a bit idealistic, but... I'm pretty sure I said almost those exact words before we went to the Source."

Lavalia smiled and held a hand out to him in silent offering. He stared at it for a moment before reaching out. There was a familiar hum in her blood when he got close, and the Light seemed to swell, reaching for him as well. Perhaps it was because he’d been there when it had been halted. Face twisting in concentration, Lavalia tried to find that almost-solid form his hand could take. She reached for his fingers and felt resistance. She laced their hands as best she could, watching his breath shutter out of him as it always did. “Whatever it takes.” She whispered, “We’re all going to do whatever it takes. So long as I can take another step forward, I’m going to keep fighting. We’ve already destroyed four Wardens. I can hold onto one more.” Even if the pain was unimaginable, she could do it. She had to. There was no other option.