#Drops of Jupiter - Train

[sapphiccyranodebergerac]

web weaving: love felt wholly in the mundane. the kind of love that sometimes goes unnoticed

| fleabag s1 ep4 | the orange by wendy cope | circe by madeline miller | love should be about the mundane by lauren bravo | circe by madeline miller (again) | everything everywhere all at once | the happiest day by linda pastan | drops of jupiter by train | lady bird dir. by greta gerwig |

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[neopuff]

lunella/mel-varr // drops of jupiter

[lastoneout]

"and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"

[myimaginaryradio]

Drops Of Jupiter - Train

[raceispunk]

the fact that Drops of Jupiter, a song about supporting your best friend and accepting the path they need to take through life even while loving them unconditionally, was playing when Matt and Foggy met

[twilightown]

I'm just a simple girl, if I listen to Drops of Jupiter too hard I will cry

[gotweim]

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken

Your best friend always sticking up for you

Even when I know you're wrong?

✨,❤️&✌🏼

[friendlybatteringram]

Rarely do I feel as conflicted about a piece of media as I do about the song Drops of Jupiter by Train. I mean musically, it’s such a pretty song and the words are so evocative and it’s so, so lively and fun to listen and even sing along to.

But then you actually pay attention to what this guy’s saying and it’s just WAAAAH WAAAAH my (presumably female) friend is out looking for herself and not paying attention to meeeeeee. He’s like gee, I hope you’re having oodles of fun traversing the STARS and grazing the face of GOD as you grow to understand the majesty of CREATION, because now I gotta down this cup of soy latte by myself like a fucking douche. HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

Also, it’s really telling that you’re just chasing that ass when you say that you defend her even when you know she’s wrong. Thats not what real friends do, dickshit. They help each other GROW, which means POINTING OUT when they’re wrong. Please amass one Planck length of perspective before continuing to whine over this woefully trippin hoe.

Except FUCK me it’s a good song.

[iwantahockeyhimbo]

happy birthday mat barzal :)

[wanderingmind867]

I do think my mom's death had a profound effect on me. I mean, I never grieved in the conventional way. My brain didn't immediately go to tears when she died like my dad did (although i'm not a jerk, i did cry and miss her), my brain chose to focus in on the ramifications for me. And those ramifications... brother, were they bleak. And they're the things that stick with me.

Because, well...I have no real friends outside of my parents. I'm not open with anyone the way i'm open with my dad. My dad sees my bad and my good. But nobody else sees my bad or good the same way. My dad sees my anger fits and meltdowns where i can scream at him and act irate, but he also sees me excitedly rambling and sharing my hyperfixations with him. And he accepts both of those aspects about me, in a way i always feel scared nobody else would. So i do struggle with opening up to other people, and thusly have no friends.

And since my only friends were my parents...well, losing one of them really kicked that existensial dread into hyperdrive. I don't like aging or birthdays at this point, because they remind me of the eventuality that is probably me ending up alone. And i think you now see one of my more intimate fears. And one of the things that depresses me. So... yeah. I'm scared of being all alone, and that can make me depressed sometimes.

[tanjir0se]

what you don’t understand is that once a ship becomes canon, or even once the tension, romantic or otherwise, becomes overt, I lose all interest. no intrigue. no mystique.

the most powerful indeed the most holy and divine of ships are not canon they’re not even ‘will they won’t they’. they’re 12 episodes of fucking nothing followed by one absolutely insane scene that makes you wonder what the hell the writers/actors/animators/ show runners were fucking thinking that makes you go

[neopuff]

klak/azel // drops of jupiter

[thekidsarentalright]

love songs that u can rock back and forth to. best songs ever are ones that u can rock back and forth to

[californian-libertarian]