#Dr. Poku Poemu

[rottencoreofalpes]

I don’t know who else to tell. I can’t believe this is real. I did the test three times, and it’s positive every time. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m falling apart. I can’t breathe. How did this happen to me?

Please, please don’t tell anyone. I’m so scared.

[rottencoreofalpes]

Just read your analysis on the topic of Kan and his hands and you have made me see Tsu's heart surgery in a completely new light.

This prompted me to look further into the mentions of hands in different other instances of the terminals and threads, but I'm mainly focusing on Poku's terminal.

Poku is a very interesting victim of Kan's, mainly because she seemed to stand out compared the other victims (Kitamuro, Tsutsujio, Suga, Mikuma with a question mark, Seki) who Kan had assaulted and keeps on assaulting as an act of power.

Poku's harassment seems to have a completely different goal compared to the others. With Kan's behavior towards her, that Poku reports in her terminal, it seems as if Kan is actually interested in her. He seems to be attracted to her and not to the aspect of overpowering her and showing his authority and high stance in the KFTI.

The first instance we see any hands mentioned is in Report One, and it describes the altercation that took place between Kitamuro and Kan:

The two men exchanged blows fairly quickly, with neither one immediately gaining the upper hand. Dr. Toranosuke and Dr. Kitamuro were matched in strength and seemed to be struggling for control over each other. Dr. Toranosuke landed a few strikes, but Dr. Kitamuro, despite his age, responded fiercely, landing a punch to Dr. Toranosuke’s midsection that seemed to momentarily wind him. Their movements were chaotic and forceful, knocking over lab equipment and sending papers scattering in all directions.

This isn't a pretty strong point, but I find it interesting in light of what you analyzed regarding hands. Once again, "gained the upper hand" could work as a metaphor on how Kan managed to impose himself and to top Kitamuro's position by using his usual tactic, sexual assault. And we do indeed witness Kitamuro losing the part of himself who could fight against Kan. He becomes much more cautious in his interactions with Kan. And Kan gains the upper hand.

Now what I find interesting is that instead of Kan getting all handsy with Poku, he begins by observing her. At first he seems to only watch and look and even stalk Poku.

Report Four:

The first instance that made me feel uncomfortable occurred during a late shift at the lab. I was working alone in the engineering section when I noticed Dr. Toranosuke standing in the doorway, just watching me. At first, I thought maybe he needed something or had simply come to speak with me, but when I addressed him, he did not respond immediately. He just stood there, smiling slightly but saying nothing for several long seconds. I asked him if everything was alright, but he just nodded and left without saying another word.

On more than one occasion, I have seen him appear at the same locations where I have been. I am aware that these may be coincidental encounters, but there have been instances where I’ve seen him at local cafes or walking in the area near my apartment complex at times when I didn’t think it was likely for him to be in the same place. I have even seen him standing across the street from my apartment building once, which made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

I have caught him looking at me more than once, only for him to look away quickly when I meet his gaze. While this could be interpreted as innocent, it’s becoming harder to ignore that it feels deliberate.

Now the way Kan is described and how he conducts himself around Poku is pretty interesting. Kan isn't the type of person who shies away, usually. He doesn't take disrespect or backtalk and delivers immediate punishments, but in these instances Poku describes him as someone who just observes her.

He watches her from far away and even sneaks glances and whenever Poku is aware of that he looks away, as if embarrassed.

He seems to actually have a crush on her. He acts like one would when they got a crush on someone and are too shy to make any moves and this happens ONLY after he was already complimenting her in an uncomfortable manner and didn't get something mutual back from her.

Usually when Kan doesn't get what he wants from someone, he forces his way through, but his actions here seem to not match his past actions at all. Instead he somewhat retreats and acts all shy about Poku.

Now what do I find interesting regarding the hands motif we've seen in Kan's others victims related to Poku? Up until the fifth report we did not have a single mention of Kan's hands being involved.

Going based on your analysis, Kan weaponizes his hands. But in Poku's instance he still hadn't used his hands (probably up until her rape and impregnation).

It seems as if Kan wanted to treat Poku in a different manner. It seemed as if he wanted to give her a chance to realize his worth and to accept his advances, but that wasn't going well for him and so he changed his tactics, which we see in Report Five:

I am compelled to write this report following a deeply unsettling incident that occurred involving Dr. Toranosuke Kan. The event took place on [REDACTED] and involved Dr. Toranosuke attempting to pressure myself and Dr. Saimi Fukusaburou into becoming involved in intimate acts for the purpose of an experiment that he claimed to be conducting. I am deeply disturbed by this experience and feel it is imperative to document it for the record.

In this instance he seems to switch from a more passive approach to a direct one. He brings her and Saimi to conduct "an experiment". What I find interesting about this, is that he didn't begin with trying to do things to her. No instead he calls a third member to have him get intimate with her. I know that it's still fucked up, but it reads as if he didn't want to force himself on her, or at least he saw it as a last resort, and he was desperate to witness Poku being intimate even if it wasnt with him. In a dick twisted manner, he might have viewed it as him being respectful towards her.

When Dr. Saimi also expressed his concerns and tried to leave, Dr. Toranosuke became increasingly aggressive and insistent, raising his voice in a manner that was both intimidating and manipulative. He pressed us further, attempting to convince us that our involvement would be vital to the success of the experiment.

He seemed to get angry and aggressive only after both Saimi and Poku refused to participate in his "experiment", which is also very fascinating, since to me it seems Kan got upset that he went through all this effort to make Poku more comfortable (Saimi seems to be a close friend of Poku, which could explain why he picked Saimi as the other participant of his perverse experiment). This was Poku's second rejection towards his advancement, and as we know, Kan's ego is very fragile and the main factor that leads to him hurting others around him. In Kan's twisted mind, this was Poku bring ungrateful for the set up he preparef for her.

Moving on to Report Six, we notice even more of Kan's actions trying to impress Poku and trying to court her as one would do with a romantic interest of theirs. Now you can argue that, yeah that's how you approach someone you like, and that Kan isn't being generous by not assaulting her, but seeing things through Kan's mind frame, we can conclude that this is Kan being on his best behavior. It's not about power, it's about his actual feelings and he wants Poku to engage with him in a normal manner. He doesn't want to force it, because he genuinely cares about it.

There have also been several other instances where Dr. Toranosuke has made attempts to spend time with me outside of work-related contexts. He has invited me to lunch on multiple occasions, often making suggestions that we meet "outside of the office," which I initially assumed were simply for professional reasons. However, as the invitations grew more frequent, I began to feel that the intent behind them might be more personal. On one occasion, he asked if I would like to accompany him to an event that was not work-related, which he framed as "a chance to unwind and get away from the lab." I declined politely, stating I had other commitments, but I could sense a certain tension in his response, as though he was disappointed

Now things get interesting in Report Eight, in which Poku finally mentions that Kan's behavior has finally escalated into him touching her "accidentally":

There have been instances where he has touched me in ways that feel far too personal and completely unprofessional - brushing against me in ways that are not accidental, making physical contact without any explanation or excuse. These actions have escalated to the point where I now avoid being in the same room with him if at all possible.

This is where things start to take a turn. Kan has obviously started to run out of patience. He has tried to pursue Poku in every possible way (that was still respectful, in his mind) and yet he only seemed to drive Poku away. So he goes back to his root actions, which is forcing what he wants. He begins to say inappropriate things to her, touch her in uncomfortable yet seemingly innocent ways, brush his hands over her, etc.

These comments are no longer disguised as innocent remarks or jokes; they are deliberate and pointed, laced with implications about my physicality and his expectations of me.

He no longer seems content with subtle comments; there are times when he outright hints at a desire for physical intimacy, and I have noticed him watching me in ways that feel predatory.

Kan has dropped all pretence. He has tried every possible way to swoon Poku with no success and he has tired out of not getting what he wanted.

Moving on to Report Nine:

And I don’t even know if I’m making sense anymore. I don’t know how to explain the way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel trapped.

Once again, we see that Kan's focus on Poku is described mostly in how he observes her. Watches her. Stalks her. His behavior is mostly limited to observing first and then it escalates into inappropriate comments, innocent little touches and then the incident where Poku is impregnated (most likely) by him.

Having gone through all ten reports, the main point I'm trying to reach is the lack of hands in Poku's terminals. Kan seems to not use his one and trust weapon against her, at least not until he has reached the conclusion that Poku won't reciprocate his feelings and wants.

I just find it super interesting when combined with your thoughts on Kan and the allegories related to his hands and his sexual harassment and assault towards the other victims.

I kind of detailed the topic at hand (pun not intended) but yeaaah.

mini essay about tsutsujio tamemichi & the use of dr. kan's hands as a metaphor for rape

ive been thinking a lot about tsu and kan recently so i wanted to dump some thoughts lol. cw for things involved with their stories like medical trauma and sexual assault and such

i think tsu is a masterclass in writing a metaphorical rape scene. i know that he genuinely faced sexual assault by kan, but i wanna focus on the idea that his heart surgery was a metaphorical rape in and of itself.

for background, during tsu's first year working at KFTI, he got in an altercation with dr. kan that lead to dr. kan beating him so badly he broke four bones, including his pelvis and almost every bone in his arm. we're told that he needed a lot of recovery time, and that during this recovery time, dr. kan pulled him for an experiment that involved performing open heart surgery on him.

we're told that the anaesthesia used was localized and not general, meaning he was awake for the surgery. we're told it was for the expressed purpose of seeing how he would mentally cope with the experience of being awake for something like that. that's the background we're going with. we then see how that affects tsutsujio and how he describes it.

tsu has chronic arrhythmia and heart palpitations. when he gets worked up, his body starts shutting down, which makes him panic and makes the entire thing worse. every day hes having these little spirals where he thinks hes gonna die. this is why he refuses to leave the office and head to OMS - he's afraid that if he does, he'll have an episode that requires kan's intervention, and kan won't be there to save him.

we also see him describe the process in a very specific way: the use of kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Actually no im pretty sure nobody here understands me at all because I keep getting stupid fucking advice and critique from people who havent had his hands in their open fucking chest

he says that nobody can understand how he feels because they haven't had kan's hands in their chest. kan's hands are inside his body. his wording here is very important, because it's going to come up again in this thread, and then again further in the future. for now, let's focus on how it comes up in this thread.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like his hands are on my shoulders all the time [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like no matter what I do or where i go his hands are always on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like if i look down im just going to have handprints all over me [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I dont know why he makes me feel like that [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I cant leave because his hands are always on my shoulders and i cant ever be comfortable because his hands are always on my shoulders and nobody cares or questions it because oh its not that big of a deal its just his hands on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] my body feels wrong how the hell am i supposed to just live like that forever i dont want to [434334633/ Dr. Suga] You feel violated. [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Right like i do but like fucking why should i [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] God this is so stupid why do i always sound so stupid [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I just dont want his fucking hands in my body he fucking hurt me

he describes kan as always having his hands on his shoulders. he describes this as a feeling that's incredibly distressing, and says that nobody questions it because it seems so innocuous - just a hand on his shoulders. suga points out that he feels violated, and tsu agrees, but can't explain why. he then describes the feeling in a much more visceral way - "I just dont want his fucking hands in my body".

the language tsu uses alludes to much more than surgery. this isnt how people describe surgery in a normal context. the idea of someone putting their hands inside of your body holds connotations that feel much more intimate than medical. the descriptions of being covered in handprints corroborate this - he's not talking about medical feelings. he's talking about feelings of having his body violated, feelings that are intimately tied to the idea of sexual assault. this is further emphasized by the presence of his conversation partner - suga.

suga is the absolute picture of sexual violation within staffside. the way suga is described is the picture perfect image of purity. he was young and naive and eager to help. he was almost ethereally beautiful. he was pretty and weak and vulnerable. he was a virgin. the interesting framing device in tetro is that we don't learn any of this until after we've known him for some time. when we're introduced to suga, he's sick and vomiting and exhausted and on the brink of death. we meet him as his story is nearing its climax. only a short while after meeting him, he's put under anaesthesia and raped by dr. kan. this became one of our first central plot points of staffside.

suga's entire arc is about the trauma of sexual assault and how it eventually kills him, for all intents and purposes. we follow him as he's completely devoured by his trauma and his feelings of utter violation. pairing him with tsu in this scene is meant to show the connection between the two. staffside is drawing a comparison between suga's experience and tsu's experience. you're meant to associate them. they both feel horribly violated.

and then we find out that tsutsujio was molested during a medical exam.

it would be easy to take this information and write off the metaphorical rape that was tsu's surgery. it would be easy to dismiss it as no longer important or relevant now that we know tsu was genuinely molested and not just metaphorically assaulted. however, if anything, i think tsu's recount of being molested actually serves to greatly strengthen the connections between his surgery and the idea of rape. let's look again at how he describes the assault.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Again seriously its not that serious its not like what happened to Suga [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Stuff with his hands I guess [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Which again is stupid because obviously the Suga thing is worse so please dont get hung up on this like seriously

another mention of kan's hands. he describes his molestation as something that took place with kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] And it was just one time and it was just with hands like it not like that

his hands again. tsu's focus often comes back to kan's hands. it's the only way he describes his molestation in any capacity. we don't get any details beyond the fact that it was done with kan's hands. kan's hands themselves in this case are portrayed as a weapon of assault. the hands that molested him are the hands he claims to be constantly all over his body and on his shoulders and inside his chest. the connections drawn between the use of kan's hands for sexual assault and the use of kan's hands for tsu's surgery are incredibly clear and further drive home the point of tsu's surgery being used as a metaphor for rape.

let's take a look at other mentions of kan's hands in similar contexts. this is the first time we ever get a mention of kan's hands.

[840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Out of curiosity, was it DURING that event that you told her you were getting handsy with her husband? Before? After?

tatematsu uses very specific phrasing to describe the sexual relationship between kan and seki. she refers to kan assaulting him as getting handsy.

[154314147/ Dr. Toranosuke] Hence why I'm reaching out to you two! I'd like to borrow Minase. [796285914/ Dr. Hattori] Me? [840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Absolutely out of the question. Keep your grubby hands in your own department.

kan claims to want to "borrow" minase. minase is someone kan has expressed lust for in the past - he's pretty, he's blonde, he's got the same borderline ethereal beauty that kan assigns to suga. when he says he wants to borrow minase, tatematsu tells him to keep his grubby hands in his own department. another mention of kan's hands.

[155402844/ Monomoko] He has other methods as well. Ones you might be familiar with by now. Dr. Kan is at his most content when others are entirely reliant on his hands.

this is one of the more prominent uses of the metaphor of dr. kan's hands. monomoko doesn't just say kan needs people to be entirely reliant on him; she says he needs them to be entirely reliant on his hands. his hands are almost given a sense of being their own character in the way people describe them. consider the people we know are reliant on kan to survive: tsutsujio, seki, suga, genki and zenjaku. if he didn't care for tsu's heart, tsu would die. if he didn't medicate seki, seki would die. if he didn't continue to care for suga through his coma, suga would die. i have no idea what he does for genki, but we've been told that without his support, genki would die as well. if he didn't provide zenjaku with the BMS box, he would die. every single person reliant on kan for survival is someone he has sexually assaulted. tsutsujio is the only one of the four who wasn't outright raped, which is where his surgical metaphor becomes even more prominent. it acts as a rape. it feels like rape. to him, it is rape. and here, we see monomoko describing these four people he has raped as entirely reliant on his hands. its another association between kan's hands and rape.

now, we get into the most blatant evidence for the idea that kans hands represent rape.

WHERE KAN. KAN KAN KAN KAN. i kNOW iT wAs HIM. HE LOOKED AT HER, HE DID. WITH HIS. HIS GROSS HANDS!!! HE DOES THINGS!!! HE DOES THINGS TO THINGS!!! hE. HE TOOk her, I KNOW HE DID. WHERE IS SHE?!?! wHERE IS SHE?!?!?! DID HE - NO!!! no. he WOULDN’T - wOULDN’T HE?!?!??!?!? OH GOD!!!!!!! WHERE SHES COLD!!! SHE’S COLD AND I CAN’T FIND HER!!!!!!! HE HAS HER I KNOW IT!!! I KNoW IT. HE TOUCHES EVERYTHING AND HE RUINS EVERYTHING AND NOW SHE’S GONE. hER FuR. HER fur…soft, soFT, and NOW SHE’S GONE!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!! HE TOOK HER. WHY. WHY. WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!! WHERE HES HURTING HER. I KNOW HE IS. hES - hE'S DOING THINGS TO HER!!! THINGS. HE DOES THINGS AND SHE’S GONE AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!!!!!! hIS HANDS. hIS FILTHY HANDS. ON HER!!! ON HER!!! I CAN HEAR HER CRYING. sHE’S CRYING. SHE’S CRYING AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!! OH GOD I CAN’T STOP IT!!! WHERE wHy. why hE DO THIS. Why HE. tOUCH eVERYTHING THATS MINE!!! hE ALWAYS TAKES MY THINGS, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!! hIS EYES. HIS EYES WERE LOOKING. ALWAYS LOOKING!!! I CANT. i CAN’T DO THIS. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE It’s darK. sHE’S nEVER QuiEt. ShE’S never THIS QUIET. He MUFFLED HER, I KNOW HE DID. he DOESNT WANT ME TO HEAR HER CRYING!!!!!!! BUT I CAN. I CAN HEAR HER ANYWAY!!! hE THINKS I CAN’T. BUT I CAN!!!!!!! HE DOESNT WANT HER TO BE MINE!!! BUT SHE’S MINE. MINE!!!!!!! WHERE wHEre IS shE. IS sHE SAFE?!?! IS SHE STILL SAFE???!?!?!? DID I LEAVE HER HERE?!?! WAS IT ME??? DID I DO THIS?!?! no. No. IT WASN’T ME. IT WAS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS HIM AND HIS HANDS AND HIS EYES AND HIS SMILE!!! HE TOOK HER. HE TOOK HER AND HE’S RUINING HER!!!!

the maru logs contain an incredibly chilling description of kan's hands used as a metaphor for rape once again. in my mind, this is one of the most nauseating depictions of kan's inflicted trauma in tetro. in the maru logs, we see the jumbled thoughts of nemoto genki depicted as a terminal. throughout the staffside story, we are repeatedly nudged towards the fact that during genki's deterioration, he was raped by kan. it's something that many people seem to understand and that genki himself seems to still carry the pain of even after losing his memory.

here we see genki in a state of extreme distress after dr. kan took away his comfort item as a form of sadistic punishment - a stuffed sheep. sheep and lambs have extremely strong connotations when it comes to symbolism - they're purity, innocence, gentleness and youth. we see that literally ripped away from genki by kan's hands, and genki immediately begins to violently spiral into hysterics.

kan taking the sheep is, in my opinion, a direct metaphor for rape once again. he is literally ripping a symbol of innocence away from genki, and genki reacts accordingly. he completely melts down, insisting that kan is "doing things" to this symbol of his innocence, and that he's ruining her with his gross, filthy hands. "it's always him and his hands". another case of dr. kan's hands being treated as a separate concept to himself. his hands are a weapon, and we see genki completely lose it as kan uses that weapon to rip away his innocence once again. this isn't a connection that the reader needs to force - it's incredibly clear. genki reacts to this as if it was a rape. he cries about violation and filth and ruining. genki seems to go as far as genuinely thinking that kan would violate the sheep itself - directly violating the symbol of his innocence and purity. directly raping his innocence. he reacts with appropriate horror and distress. kan's hands are once again used in this disgusting, violating context.

but kan's hands continue to come up.

Hibari visibly tensed and vocalized his pain throughout the process, but Kan appeared unfazed. He made several inappropriate comments, including, “You should appreciate that I’m being hands-on. Many would leave you to suffer with less care.”

kan describes himself as being hands-on with zenjaku, and says zenjaku should appreciate it. kan has repeatedly stressed a perverse interest in zenjaku and his body up to this point, and would later go on to physically rape him during a moment alone. having this treatment associated with kan being "hands-on" is another glowing example of the metaphor of his hands.

i think tetro is incredibly effective at not only depicting kan's hands themselves as a metaphor for rape and violation, but then also successfully executing an incredibly poignant metaphor for rape in the form of tsutsujio's surgery. kan's hands are rape. by putting them into tsu's body, he violated him and left him with a trauma that tsu describes in an extremely intimate context. anyone affected by kan's hands is violated, because kan's hands represent violation.

im not sure how much more of this we'll get in the future but i just wanted to get my thoughts out - let me know if you see any other interesting examples of this in staffside or let me know if you disagree completely and think im reading way too far into this LMAO. i just wanna hear peoples thoughts