#Don't watch a show with gay captain or you will BECOME the gay captain

[ramenwithbroccoli]

Started calling my friends "soldier" as a joke when I address them personally, the only problem is, I can't stop. Seeing a person online who should be asleep by now? "Go to sleep soldier". Sibling sharing something they finally managed to do? "Good job soldier". An old lady falling down the stairs right in front of me? I have to manually flip the switch in my brain as to not call her soldier when I'm asking if she's alright.

[maxphilippa]

i'm genuinely just saying that the ii fandom should try to not put their ships on basic dynamics because when you watch the media itself you realize that they're wayyyy more complex than that, and that the content that gets made off it feels one dimensional and like people don't really get why their dynamic/friendship works at all, or simplify their attributes completely disregarding the other relationships the characters in said ship have.

nickloon works because of suitcase mattering so much to both of them. now this is something that most of the fandom doesn't get because they don't get nickel's character at all and often portray him as an gay asshole, but i've made a lot of analysis on his behaviour, so you can check my posts on him if you're interesed to learn why suitcase is so important to him too. however they're so much more than just "a weird gay thing", they're an story of growth and realizing that you were wrong, how much love they have and how you can learn and change for the better, as someone who went through that same thing and now i have a best friend thanks to that, seeing how people only put them on one dynamic disregarding completely the reason as to WHY they're like that is pretty boring. they work because had so many issues at hand and needed communication in order to work through it. their care towards one person (suitcase) is what made them be so angry at eachother and what ultimately made them become friends as well, but the way they genuinely ended up wanting to be friends and caring so deeply for eachother is what speaks the most. sure, nickel cared about baseball and all, but balloon was ultimately the reason as to why he lets go of the rough attitude, and decides that he does want to fix what he has done, that he wants to become a better person and friend.

lightbrush works as an POST canon ship, not as one that happens on s2, nor should people ignore the fact that paintbrush was often angered/stressed by lightbulb's behaviour for most of the show. it works because ultimately they're both struggling to come to terms with themselves, and lightbulb gets to finally understand why she was messing up so much and genuinely showed care for paintbrush, who was ultimately struggling with themselves, you know, coming out and all that. what people don't get by making their relationship just an "silly random fella x hot headed person" is that they're both so much more than that. lightbulb has depression and her terrible copying mechanisms are what made her suck so much as a team captain, and paintbrush wanted stability and for someone to actually listen to them for once. lightbulb gets to learn that life is much more complicated and that she has to be there for people if she wants genuine connections with others, and she helped paintbrush on such a complicated moment, showing that they can work on an actual friendship post show, and that they do care about eachotther after all.

fantube is so much more complicated and emotional from what the fandom usually portrays. downgrading them to just an "girlboss x malewife" feels like they're not getting their characters at all and also like it's missing the point of their arcs being entwined by still making them act like their s2 pre-ep 14 selfs. both fan and test tube had severe issues with social interaction and grasping on what's real and what not, emotional communication often being their biggest struggle, and constantly got on arguments with others thanks to the fact that they couldn't "fit in". test tube shows to generally struggle understanding people and their feelings, meanwhile fan is more so aware of those, he still struggles with understanding that the game is very real and that he can't keep running away from the fact that change IS very real. they both made eachother grow because fan made test tube aware of feelings, and test tube made fan aware of growing and learning. they're both pretty equal on their own terms and they had bad copying mechanisms through s2 as a whole, except for their elimination of course, where they make amends and start over. they trust eachother and are pretty much partners, whether romantic or not, they are a team. a duo. they're just trying their best after all, and still struggle a lot with feelings at times. but that's why they work it through talking: the thing that they couldn't do at all before.

i really like/enjoy these ships on their own and i kinda hope that the fandom starts to actually get the characters and understand them properly, i would've also talked about silvercandle, but that is a whole can of worms and after iii 18, i have an overall more negative/neutral stance on the fandom perception of them.

this is just a recollection of thoughts, too.

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[gottagobackintime]

I find it fascinating to witness the straight audience of any media not being able to pick up what the makers of the movie/show puts down.

It’s like when people reacted to the “You wear fine things well” scene in Our Flag Means Death with “aw, they’re such good friends” whereas the queer audience went “omg, this is happening”. We all had access to the same scene, we’d all watched the build up to that scene but the straight audience wrongly read it as friends/straight whereas the queer audience had suspected they were building up to a romance but this was the confirmation. Even the creator of the show was baffled that people were surprised that Ed and Stede fell in love. Because he thought they had made it obvious.

And as I said, we, the queer audience picked up on it. And I feel like the same thing is happening with Ted Lasso. Do I know that Ted and Trent will get together? No, I am unfortunately not a writer on Ted Lasso. But you can’t deny that there are clues pointing to it. But the straight audience barely pick up the fact that Ted and Trent like each other, be that in a platonic way or romantic way. I’ve seen several reactions to the last episode of season 2 and ONE of them included the scene where Ted reacts to Trent not being in the press room. All of them severely cut down the scene in the parking lot. One of the scenes most of us Ted/Trent truthers point to as a huge piece of evidence for it going canon. The parallel of them meeting in an empty parking lot, just like Ted and his ex-wife and Roy and Keeley. But because Ted and Trent are both men it couldn’t possibly mean anything. And Ted has an ex-wife and a kid so he can’t possibly be into men, as if there is no such thing as being bisexual. “But I’m pretty sure Trent has a family, he has a kid right?” So? He could be divorced, we also have no idea if his daughter has another dad or a mum. And the same thing applies to him, it doesn’t mean he can’t be into men (take also into account all of James Lance’s interviews, and his choice of shirt in one of them, friend of Dorothy anyone? He's the captain of this ship, we're just along for the ride tbh.)

Then we have the wonderful “I’m so not homophobic, in fact, you are homophobic because you think Ted is gay just because he likes musicals and has ‘feminine’ traits” um no… it’s the fact that he kind of acts in a way that an ally wouldn't. Yeah, he called himself an ally in that one episode. But every single person who is now out as queer who at one point considered themselves an ally because "I’m not one of them but I sure think they're neat" raise a hand 🖐️ (been there, done that. Was very into queer things before I realised I myself am one of them). What it always comes down to is "it's pandering", "it's tokenism" (having the main character on the show be queer wouldn't be fucking tokenism), "not everything has to be gay", "why can't men just be friends, there is a severe lack of male friendships on tv". And like the last one makes me go??? There are a MILLION friendships between men on TV. There are even multiple friendships between men in Ted Lasso. Beard and Ted, Ted and Higgins, Ted and Roy, the himbos and so on. Having Ted and Trent become a couple wouldn't really change anything because there are still friendships between men. They also claim that Ted is needed as the "straight without toxic masculinity" representation. As if Beard isn't right there. The man who has no problem going to an immersive show about the menstrual cycle. Has no problem with shrieking when he's surprised and so on.

I also like that if we'd get Ted and Trent together, we'd get two middle aged queer dads. Which isn't that common. It's not even super common to see people realising they're queer late in life on TV, and yet it happens every day. Because let's face it, most queer men on TV kind of look like Colin, and I don't mean that as a bad thing. And I'm looking forward to his storyline. But it's also nice seeing middle aged or old people finding themselves and being allowed to be who they are (see Ed and Stede from OFMD). Also would enjoy seeing people lose their minds when they realise they've been fooled this entire time. It'll be like Black Sails all over again.

I do not have any doubts about the fact that, had Trent or Ted been a woman and they saw Trent give up his career because of Ted's influence, they sure as hell wouldn't protest people thinking they'd become a couple. But because it's two men it's just delusional for some reason (homophobia).

What I'm saying is, it's clear that the straight audience has a hard time picking up subtext and clues that the makers are planting. Because they've never had to do that. Because they are always clearly represented. They don't have to look for minor side characters and hope that they might be queer. Because the main character is straight and most of the supporting cast too. When you've grown up with a lack of representation or with representation that is meant to be subtext, you'll learn to pick up on it. And you do look at media differently. I just wish that the straight audience could listen to us for once, without getting defensive and dancing around the fact that they are uncomfortable relating to a character that turned out to be queer.

[prickly-paprikash]

Don't you just hate it when one of the biggest grifters online decides to like a piece of media you like?

Gatekeeping is wrong. Forcing someone to like something in the specific way I interact and consume a piece of media is wrong. Art is meant to be viewed through a multitude of lenses, and each individual will have their own way of interpreting that creation. And that's good. That's fine. That's human.

But when an Anti-Woke Grifter who thinks alcoholism is a really cool personality trait and decides to brand everything about themselves as that; who has historically engaged and criticized films and shows and games and books in bad faith; who has put down women and POC's and Queer representation in media; who is one of the biggest dicks in the online space decides to actually pay attention to an art that is pretty much dipped, coated, laminated, and injected with fucking GAY, ANTI-PATRIARCHAL ENERGY—that's when I get mad.

For those not in the know, Critical Drinker has posted a review for Blue Eye Samurai, saying he likes it.

You know... Blue Eye Samurai?

The show that oozes Queer Wrath? Feminine Rage? Curb-Stomping Toxic Masculinity and the Patriarchy whenever and wherever it can? That Blue Eye Samurai?

See, he's done this before with Arcane.

He says he likes it. Him and his ilk say that, "Finally, the wokies have done something actually good!" and point to Vi and Jinx as strong female characters written well!

But they also say, dang, feels like all the men in that show are idiots and that they had to be dumbed down to make room for the rainbow-haired girlies brigade. Who have all remarked that Vi and Caitlyn's relationship is forced and being shoved down our throats because god forbid women like women!

I got sick of watching his Arcane review halfway, and this was before I knew what a douche Critical Sucker was.

So I ain't watching his Blue Eye Samurai review. Why?

His Glass Onion review was done in bad faith.

I didn't like She-Hulk, but that's because that show was a byproduct of abused VFX animators, creatively bankrupt executives, and writers desperately trying to manage a convoluted shared universe that continues to buckle under its own weight. Political Stinker over here thinks that it's pandering, stupid, feminist garbage. He is one of the biggest Anti-Feminist voices in Youtube.

Him and his incel brigade have an obsession over hating Captain Marvel and Brie Larson. These basement dwelling cucks rant and rave over a mediocre duology and an actress that just lives in their tiny heads rent-free.

He says that they are removing men from leading roles and roles of great importance!

So why would I want to listen to an inebriated libertarian's opinions on a show that has become the show for lesbians, trans mascs, and other lovely brands of gay and feminism that he oh so despises? He'll most likely praise the action and violence and shit like that, then probably say that Mizu and Taigen's homoerotic rivalry isn't gay actually. Or that Mizu and Akemi's narrative foils don't scream enemies-to-sapphics. Or that Mizu, WHO'S NAME MEANS WATER AND HER ENTIRE CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND FLUIDITY ISN'T IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FLUID IN HER GENDER AND SEXUALITY.

Fuck. I'm sorry. I don't even care if he doesn't say that. He's made so many disgusting, disparaging remarks about any piece of media that shows an inkling of progressive themes that what else am I supposed to expect?

If anyone watches it and sees this, lemme know. Watching an Anti-Woke bullshit video with just myself is just straight up wading through the desert without proper protection. No thanks.

Anyway watch Blue Eye Samurai again. Because I know you watched it. Watch it again. And again. And when you're done, watch Arcane. Watch She-Ra. Watch Dragon Prince. Castlevania. Watch anything "woke". Consume trans-positive shows. Make all the haters and even the ones who like it but have no ounce of media literacy irrelevant. Let them dry out and die, please.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

For decades slash fandom made art and fic about masc cishet characters in gay relationships and begged on their hands and fucking knees for a gay character and then the second they got a real fag they immediately accused him of being an interloper, made excuses as to why he would be against kink or call the cops on drag queens in a modern au or whatever bullshit they think, did olympic level mental gymnastics to explain why he's actually a man's man despite canonical dialogue to the contrary and the entire narrative of the show he's in hinging on the fact that he can't even fake it, and shipped his leatherman boyfriend (who they also character assassinated, this time for racist reasons as well as homophobic ones) with the nearest subtexually gay homophobic masc4masc (in a show where everyone is gay mind you) they could fucking find despite the fact that said boyfriend doesn't even like the guy and I'm never gonna let yall live it down as long as I fucking live. Here I was thinking you actually gave a fuck about gay men instead of just getting your rocks off to the idea of two hetties making out. If you wanted to do the subtext puzzle forever you should have never left the supernatural fandom. Go ship those fucking metalheads from stranger things and leave us alone.

Just, it has become abundantly clear to me that there was always a reason you fuckers were into Hamilton instead of Rent, and did the most to turn Captain America: Winter Soldier into a tragic romance between Steve and Buckey instead of a superhero action movie but never fucking bothered to watch Moonlight. It's because you don't actually like gay men. This is the reason that Destiel is still the top ship on AO3 to this fucking day. It's because none of you can handle real gays.

[sky-kenobye]

⛵️ Five Fandoms, Five Ships ⛵

Get to know the blogger, via five different ships from five different fandoms!

Thanks for the tag @underacalicosky !!

Putting it under the cut because this is LONG, sorry.

I love them your honor. Doesn't even have to be romantic, I just want to see them being obsessed about each other. I'm also a pretty big obianidala fan, hence why I added her too. (I'm a multishipper really. I have my otp but there's a lot of ships that I enjoy)

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker(/Padmé Amidala) (Star Wars)

When I first watched star wars (not that long ago, I only watched it because I wanted to see the sequels in theater lmao) I wasn't a big fan of the prequels so I mostly ignored them, but then a couple years ago I randomly rewatched them in the middle of the night and suddenly I was obsessed. I'm not even sure how I ended up on AO3 (did I go look for obikin? Did I stumble on it? Idk) but eventually I started reading Pining in Preschool, then realised that @palfriendpatine66 was on tumblr, I started interacting with more people around here, and now I'm (slowly) writing fics, and I'm having the time of my life here, so thanks Pal!

I don't think any if my past fandom brainrots reached my current level so I'm pretty sure I'm here for the long haul (at least it's not stopping anytime soon).

It's not super obvious here but I'm actually a huge Marvel fan (well, the MCU, I've never read a comic), and especially Captain America. Stucky is just, 🤌 so tasty (a lot of similarities with obikin actually imo). I'd like to talk to whoever thought "I'm with you 'til the end of the line" was a straight sentence to repeatedly say to your bro throughout an entire century though. Like?? I'm all for relationships that defy the boundaries of platonic and romantic, but still, that's kinda gay.

2. Steve Rogers/James "Bucky" Barnes(/Peggy Carter) (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

The first MCU movie I saw was actually captain america 2 (and not the first one lol) in theater, and I was instantly hooked, though since Endgame I've been less into it, since my fav is gone (and I have to agree with tumblr on that one: they're making too many movies and shows, I can't keep up 😩)

(And I'm still super salty about what they did to steve in canon, they should have killed him off instead of whatever the fuck that was, honestly)

I also added Peggy because she's great, and polyamory is so much better than love triangles or shipping wars. (I'm not polyamorous but I believe in their beliefs. I think it's because of the aromanticism)

Same as with obikin (and stucky too tbh) I don't really care how they love each other, I just care that they do. They're the most important person to each other, be it romantic, platonic, familial, idc.

3. John Watson/Sherlock Holmes (mostly BBC Sherlock, but from the RDJ movies and the books too)

I've obsessed over (non-existent) clues during the last season, and deluded myself into thinking they'd become canon, alas, it didn't happen.

I've translated a couple of fics in french for that ship, but I've never written for it (I thought about it tho), and I've read a lot. That's the fandom where I've read some of the best queerplatonic fics, and that's my favorite interpretation of the ship, especially sherlock being some flavor of aroace.

4. Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

I love them as a queerplatonic relationship, and I genuinely think that's what they are in canon, the haters can suck it, that's not queerbaiting even if they dont become a canon couple.

Okay, I'm starting to see a patern here. Am I really that predictable? You can just copy-past what I said above.

(I'm fully on board with them being a couple though)

Hey, a straight ship! With a woman not added as a second thought!

5. Elizabeth Bennet/Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Not quite the same vibe as the others, but I've read sooo many fics and books (straight up published fics lol), I've watched a bunch of different adaptations (even the one with zombies)... The worst part is that I think I've only read the og book once, oops.

I actually inherited that fandom from the women in my family lmao. My mom, sister and sister-in-law are all obsessed with it, so I read it to see what all the fuss was about and, yeah, I get it.

And that's it! There are other fandoms I'm into, and other ships in those fandoms, but that's pretty much it (the main one that's missing is Dinluke, the others are mostly smaller ones).

I'm not super actively in those fandoms (apart from Star Wars obviously) but i come back to them now and then. Usually I re-watch it then binge-read a bunch of fics (while my main fandom stays in the main spot in my brain) then I let it go again until it comes back (while obikin still stays in the main spot).

Also Harry Potter used to be my main obsession but JKR kinda ruined that for me so I'm not really into it anymore (hence why I didn't list it even though I have written fics for it).

Anyway that was way too long, if you've read all of this then props to you!

I'm tagging: @cottonraincoat @fem-anakin-skywalker @kingdomvel @ineffable-snowman @arobiwan (and whoever else wants to do it because I'm nosy and I want to know stuff about people)

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. earlier tonight, my eyes were cursed with star trek generations, a very very bad movie. if you don't know the big spoiler for this movie (the character death), please stop reading here. or keep reading actually i'm not your mom. fuck this movie anyway.

with the tos movies, i tried to keep notes on notepad as i watched so as to better type up a "liveblog" later. i was a bit spotty at remembering to do that this time, but i have enough to put together a reasonable write-up. here's kind of how it went

cried multiple times during this movie. first time was when kirk showed up because i knew it was the last time we were ever gonna see him. got bonus aftershock tears when i saw scotty and chekov - i was under the impression it was JUST kirk. second time, i THINK, was when he showed up again, though i just misted up a little. big boo-hooing when he mentioned spock, naturally. MORE crying when he finally bit it, though it was mostly because i was angry!!! and finally, even though i promised myself i wouldn't cry over data, i did start sobbing when he was reunited with his cat. gave myself a crying headache.

it was difficult watching kirk be on the bridge and want to be captain and he's not captain. and then crisis strikes and oh yeah he is. and really, the captainly thing to do WAS to go down to the lower decks and do whatever the fuck. needs of the many. he saved that guy's life. that would have been a fine death.

it was a little ruined by chekov going "was there somebody in there?" like to me it struck me more as funny than anything

oh, spotting guinan in the tos era made me absolutely thrilled btw. i missed her so much in s7 it was UNREAL.

OH YEAH AND. sulu's daughter. wah. ik aos sulu is gay do we think tos sulu is gay too. either way i;m very happy for him

apparently one of the guys in this is from succession. i'm choosing to blame this whole debacle on him.

switching directly to a fucking holodeck scene KILLED me. i HATE the holodeck. at first i thought they were giving worf a retirement party to send him to ds9 but they were just doing all of that for fun. deanna's outfit was hot though. also, data shoving beverly WAS FUNNY tng writers just hate autistic people

i have mixed feelings about data and the emotions chip. i was surprised they never covered it in tng proper and i think it would have been handled better there...data having the chip WAS the reason soren got away, which makes it plot-important, but it felt like a b-plot to a normal tng episode and this is supposed to be a feature film. instead it was a tng two-parter with a budget and william shatner. it was fun watching data experience emotions (happiness, terror) and struggle to control them, but there ironically wasn't enough time to really get into it, except when picard gave him the tough love speech, which i think was uncalled for. why is he so against suicide when it's data when he was out here telling worf to kill himself over an empty barrel??

titty klingon sisters. i never remember their names or their faces but i ALWAYS recognize those boob windows. at first it was really annoying because it is pretty sexist but honestly i've become very endeared. it's absolutely devastating that this movie killed them too. they were everything to me 💔

hey, sorry, side bar, were they watching geordi bathe through his visor? freaks.

also, geordi in the bondage gear while he was kidnapped. ALSO, wasn't he growing new eyes in the tng s7 finale? whatever happened with that???

stellar cartography looks better than it did in tng but it brought back memories of picard running around on poor beverly. idk what he's so worried about continuing his family line for wesley crusher IS his affair baby

hey, also, the lighting??? the "distant sunlight" atmosphere when the lights are off vs the brightly lit interior of the show? truly, the upgraded lighting was probably my favorite part of the movie. it looked SO fucking good. i really felt like we were on a spaceship.

no, wait, ACTUALLY my favorite part was data getting to say "oh, shit!" that was really good. they got one bad word for this whole movie and used it in the perfect place

no, my favorite part was the spock mention.

did not like kirk referring to picard repeatedly as the captain of the enterprise. kirk's the real captain here, bitch. picard doesn't have what it takes to die for his ship. he doesn't love his ship the way kirk loved his.

i did like the nexus reference to the tmp wife. in the novel she was named lori but she didn't show up in tmp proper much less get a name so i'm ok with them calling her the wrong name, but i just know it's the same woman. less okay with kirk's nexus dream being all about some random woman we've never met. he's in love with the IDEA of a woman to come home to, sure, but it's just lazy writing. we don't have any reason to care about this girl. at least if it had been carol ruth marcus or something we'd have SOME basis to give a shit on. the nexus was the perfect place for spock and bones! i wish they and uhura and sulu had had cameos...

i also liked him warning picard to NEVER retire/accept promotion, bc retiring wound up being so traumatizing for him. this is not really consistent but i'm making it that way in my mind palace.

also, kirk being a horse girl is FAKE. they just made him be into horses bc picard is into horses. gross. he was really good at chopping wood though lol

the scene with the kids evacuating the spaceship...WHY WOULD YOU HAVE CHILDREN ON THIS SHIP. i also worried about the pets the entire time, which is part of why i lost it when data found spot :(

it's sad that a piece of guinan was left behind in the nexus...does that happen to everyone? is a piece of kirk in there too? i really wanted to write a fix-it for this someday but they have given me so little to work with that it's hard to imagine a fixit that isn't just 80% "yeah we're ignoring that" which isn't very satisfying.

the crash was SO long. also, why was data holding troi? she's got 2 different boyfriends who could be doing that for her

since i was going into this knowing kirk died, i expected that he was gonna die because the nexus swallowed him or something. i was expecting something grand. instead it was like, tos scene, an hour and a half of very mid tng content, and then half an hour of rushed and poorly paced kirk and picard scenes. typical tng episode that it didn't get to the point until it was almost over, but jesus. i can't believe they got shatner for their movie and then barely had him in it. like, kirk at the end was a total surprise narratively (obviously everyone watching it knows bc of the opening at LEAST that he'll be back, but imagine if this guy had been some rando - it would have been so unsatisfying and weird).

see, this is the thing. the nexus actually has the potential to be incredibly compelling. the way picard's scenes were shot were very very good, if one could ignore the clothes from 1790 and the horrific portrait of himself looking like he stepped out of les mis and also how creepy his kids were and WHY WASN'T HIS WIFE BEVERLY I HATE HIM. kirk's were rushed and messy (he likes horses? his dog? none of this connects us to the character we knew in tos...), and picard's involved, well, picard. but the CONCEPT absolutely fucks, and i did love the creep factor in spite of it all. this whole movie had huge potential and instead it's a steaming pile of shit. i could have learned to live with a good kirk death but living with a bad one is gonna kill me. at least he had good last words. "oh, my" right before he dies kinda fucks tbh.

my final note is that i think sir patrick stewart got sunburnt filming some of those scenes near the end. there were a few shots where he looked quite pink. give the man some sunscreen. oh yeah also why did some people randomly wear the ds9 uniforms...what on earth

anyway, terrible movie, 0/10 stars, i'm never gonna recover. tng never disappoints in disappointing me.

NEXT TIME: back to ds9, thank god. we're doing "meridan" and "defiant."

[beelzeballing]

good morning. dealing with the ofmd s2 finale Badly.

idk im really upset. not because "bury your gays" or whatever, apparently theres people saying that shit? no thats not the issue here. everyone in this show is gay. what are you talking about.

its that izzy was like... the personification of the show's message. he opened up, he learned to love and be loved, he gave that entire speech to ricky which may as well have been the show's fucking thematic statement... and they killed him. he found love and joy and community and they killed him for it.

and then they had the nerve to put the words "ed, i want to go" into his mouth. no the fuck he does not. his entire dying monologue was so bad i genuinely don't even have the words to describe it. parts of it were wrong, parts were inconsistent, parts were straight up antithetical to the show, i cannot believe how badly they cocked this up. and then there were just randomly like 8 minutes left of the episode? as if nothing happened?

and what for? what fucking for? this was not a natural (or satisfying) fucking conclusion to his arc, no matter how much djenkins insists on it. izzy died for no fucking reason. none of the plot threads that his death was supposed to messily tie up needed him to die. he couldve become the new captain, this time accepted and loved and supported by his crew, calling back to s1. stede and ed couldve continued sailing and izzy couldve remained first mate. probably a bunch more stuff that i cant think of rn cuz im not terribly creative and also too upset. but i fundamentally believe izzy dying wouldve been a fucking terrible choice either way, no matter the execution.

this ending was a rushed hack job. im sure this isnt fully on the showrunners, but im hesistant to fully 'absolve' them of the blame for this either. i dont know. if theres ever a third season coming, i seriously doubt im gonna watch it. i dont think it should be cancelled or w/e but personally, this writing decision doesn leave me with much faith for a third season. plus obviously my favorite character is fucking dead so. yeah. thats my take after sleeping on it.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

ooh can i ask what story the girl turning into the spider is from? it sounds sweet!

oh uh... it's sweet in the sense that, even though pretty much everything goes wrong, some things still go right?

Tavra (spider girl) is a very stoic, somewhat blunt and socially awkward, generally grim, only ever laughs bitterly but will gently stroke your cheek and remind you to keep moving forward main supporting character in The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance YA books written by J.M. Lee. (mostly in the third one, tides of the dark crystal) (SPOILERS) She's... kinda like the older sister figure / adopted mom / eventual one half of fav OTP to the three point of view characters? Her whole thing is being ready to sacrifice herself and her happiness for the sake of saving people, enduring pain without flinching even while telling others to be careful, repeatedly almost dying and smiling about it....

....except that she really, really, REALLY wants to see her girlfriend again, too. Especially after kinda sorta dying and getting spider-ed.

Her uncharacteristic rashness and nervousness when showing herself to Onica- and Onica's zero hesitation to reach out to the small spider that sounds like Tavra- is the first clue these two are A Thing.

They've been a thing for a loooong while. A forbidden secret romance kinda thing.

Onica turns out to be outwardly the sun to Tavra's cloudy day, except she's actually still VERY angry at Mayrin (Tavra's mother) for being a jerk, and VERY bitter over how Mayrin treated Tavra over their relationship- and while Tavra tries making excuses for her mom the best she can come up with in the end is a damningly faint "that was a long time ago". Which. Well.

Anyway, up till now Tavra has always taken on the role the Experienced And Steady Advisor and Guardian to her new younger friends, but once she's back on Onica's ship (Onica is a single crew sailing ship captain able to dream of things happening far away have i mentioned that?) Tavra starts finally relaxing enough to show some of the stresses she's been under lately, even going off and 'mope' when her attempt at teaching one young friend how not to get killed with a sword goes badly.

(moping is described as Tavra "just being Tavra") (her kinda new little sister is the one saying this) (Tavra can be recognized in any form by her dower frown) (especially funny when Onica is constantly described as laughing and chuckling and wearing a mysterious smile)

So blah blah blah, Onica is a the good kind of terrifying and almost dies, Tavra saves her via the power of gay flashbacks with the help of their new number 1 shipper-

Then Onica's bestie, who is in huge awe of Tavra, tries to push a traumatized depressed disabled woman in the body of a spider into leading all their people in revolution bc she'd be ideal for it- and Onica very pointed says that you can't help others if you don't take time to help yourself before going off to presumably snuggle her sad spider gf.

The two are last seen in the books as Tavra's sorta adopted teen son Kylan-

(who turned her into a spider to save while committing murder despite generally being a pacific presumably bc of the trauma of watch his birth parents get snatched away by murders as a child)

-decides to look at some runes, and Tavra says she and Onica will stay with him.

So. Tavra never gets her old body back, and her mom is murdered, and part of her soul is drained and eaten, and her sisters probably think she's dead- but she also does not die. By the end of the story she is happy with the family she has found, and finally fulfilling her and Onica's promise to someday live their lives as one.

Oh did i mention there's a parallel between her and Onica's secret forbidden romance and the more tragic example that kicks of the whole story?

Did i mention Onica calls Tavra "my love"?

And Tavra was a swordswoman before becoming a spider?

I don't know if you wanted or needed all this info and I don't care, there will never be enough stuff about these two written but by gods i will take ever chance to scream about them

And that's how my arachnophobia was cured!!!

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

The Week of Jojo Part 2 begins. Last week, Army agreed to be the sperm donor for Nim, Mollie and Nim had a good moment during the training for the film that totally left Bew jealous, See-ew stepped out on Liu and ended up arrested for making porn, Liu broke up with See-ew in a scene that was fantastic between Sing and Clize, and Captain beat the shit out of Kat for not wanting to be his partner.

I'm glad we're staring with Kat. What happened to her was upsetting, and I wanted to check on her first.

It's interesting how Kat displays a wide array of feelings here, but annoyance, irritation, and offense come through most strongly.

All of Kat's girls came to check on her, but she doesn't want to be a victim. She is totally right to be frustrated that she was attacked after making her boundaries clear.

So now she'll flirt with Jean (who is apparently bi!) as a tease? I need this to become more than teasing!

I like Jean. Just because something bad happened to Kat doesn't mean she's gonna let Alex back in.

Army is lovesick, and also frustrated that Joe won't switch. So glad we're having frank conversation about the relationship dynamics in gay relationships about sex. Army is right that bottoming is tiring, and doing it all the time is exhausting. I'm curious how they'll explore Joe's reticence about the act. Just don't turn this into Cucumber, because I'll never forgive Russel T. Davies for that.

Alex is the straight guy determined to get his gay friend laid. We've come such a long way.

Cutting between Kim and Nim about the pregnancy tests was a neat touch. Kim's is unexpected, and I don't think Nim is pregnant yet.

I kinda like this plot with Bew. Lesbians can have poorly planned pregnancies, too. Bew may be jealous about Mollie, but the callous attitude about the baby is concerning.

Joe needs to do things away from this school more often, and everyone else needs to stop trying to make Joe talk about gay shit in the locker room of the school he works at.

Ah, Joe is a side. I appreciate that he doesn't like anal sex; I don't think it's required. I also don't like the bar and club scene. I just worry about the self-fulfilling nature of Joe's sense that he doesn't belong anywhere. You have to find your people.

I want to see Silvy whip ass in this film they're working on.

So Bew really left. TRASH. How do you look like Dichen Lachman and let me down like this??

"I remember all of it." Mollie, please never say that to your ex if you're trying to maintain a platonic relationship.

Jean stressing repeatedly that Kim's health and safety is more important than the set is exactly how more places should be. I will accept less shows less often if it means the people making it aren't suffering.

I just don't think the doctor should have told Jean that Kim is pregnant though? Seems like that's private information.

Oh, this is an interesting way for this plot to develop. Jean, who I suspect has had an abortion, doesn't foist that choice upon him. Kim admits she's not ready to start a family, and doesn't believe Ice is either. Kim doesn't hide the pregnancy from Ice, and he immediately rallies to become a dad and parent with Kim, much to her chagrin.

Kat is tough in front of others, but I am not surprised she's nervous in parking garages now.

Gosh, almost every scene has a blue hue to it this week. It's like watching Eyewitness again.

Mmm, unsure how I feel about Kat opening herself up to more with Alex immediately after beginning recovery.

Tony stay shooting his shots with Jean.

Alright, I do think it's important for us to talk about men's health and making sure they actually get it from professionals. However! Army knows Alex is not actually trained as a doctor right now, so what are the ethics here??

This and Between Us acknowledging bathroom stalls as their position in gay sexual history. I wonder if I'll have to write about this at the end of this year.

I get why Army stayed friends with Alex. He's very affectionate for a straight man.

Jojo really loves to fuck with the audience. Kat snuggles in with Alex, considering what it might be like to be serious with him, only for Alex to call out for Jean in his sleep.

I really like the exploration of the sensual potential of outercourse with Army and Joe. With how much BL misrepresents the physical considerations of penetrative sex, this feels necessary.

Also, in terms of the narrative, I like that Army's problem is solved by reconciliation with the first boy he really hurt and reaching equilibrium with him.

This fictional scene of Rose and Liu enabling Kat to curb stomp Captain is making me think of I May Destroy You (2022). I'm feeling a deep surge of complex feelings. Of course, her girls are here to support her.

Love that Kat's problem wasn't solved by choosing a guy.

Oh good, we're returning to Rose and Jedi next week. Not showing him in the bar felt intentional.

[random-writing-shit]

so.... I'm a few days late, but here's day 3 in 5+1 things format!

1 - Late

Stina was late to the student council election again and Sophie was becoming pissed.

They might've made up, but there was no excuse for missing an obligation she'd promised Sophie.

Sophie was Stina's running man (woman?), but lately, it seemed like she was running for both of them.

It was nearly time for their turn, but Stina was a no-show.

Sophie sighed.

Stina seemed to be sincere about her ambition to be class president, but if this went on, it would never be possible.

Not only was Stina late to some elections, but she usually missed most of their meetings to discuss their campaigns.

Sophie still wanted to run, but now, she wasn't sure if Stina was just setting her up for failure.

On the stage, the teachers called out the pair going before them, Maruca Chebota and Biana Vacker.

Outside the competition, she and Biana were friends, but inside the competition, they were sworn rivals.

Sophie checked the time and started pulling on her eyelashes like she usually did when she was nervous.

If Stina were arriving, she only had 25 minutes to get there because their turn was coming soon.

She texted Stina in all caps, but she almost got an answer.

Stina had typing bubbles that disappeared every few minutes and it was driving Sophie crazy.

Whatever. 

If all else failed, she could recite both their campaigns.

Since Stina hadn't been showing up, Sophie decided that she was better off memorizing both-

The doors to the backstage banged open, and there stood Stina, hair messy, but face determined and arms with a laptop and a projector.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Sophie yelled as soon as Stina was in ear range.

"In my dorm. You'll see when it's my turn to speak."

Stina knelt down and started sorting through various wires and plugged in a few things.

"Whatever you were doing, it better be worth missing all those meetings."

Stina paused in her work to look Sophie in the eye and said,

"Look, I'm really sorry that I missed our meetings; I really am, but I've been working on something to boost our campaigns. I got carried away sometimes; so, sorry."

Sophie sighed.

"Thanks for being honest."

Stina gave her one of her (cute) rare smiles.

Sophie felt blood rush to her head and turned away.

"Continue setting it up; I do want a good start to my campaign."

"Of course, captain."

Sophie tried pretending that she didn't see the small smile Stina had when she turned back to her work.

2 - Sick 

(kinda inspired by @gay-otlc's sickfic, but not really)

Stina was coughing… coughing up a storm.

She'd gotten the flu from Marella, who was now (temporarily) rooming with another set of girls, Linh Song and Maruca Chebota, because although she was already better, she'd accidentally transmitted the flu to Stina.

Now, Stina was just cursing Marella in her thoughts because her throat had gotten too hoarse to scream; and not in a good way.

So far, only the school nurse and a doctor had checked on her a few times.

She was going mad. 

There was nothing she could do.

It was an absolute crime against her humanity that she couldn't even binge watch teen movies from the early 2000s.

Call her cliché, but she was an absolute sucker for those.

Ugh, she hated that she didn't have friends apart from Marella except for the one girl she didn't want infec-

Just as she was about to finish that thought, the door opened.

"Stina?"

Oh, speak of the devil.

Why was she given the most difficult challenges by whoever was above?

Against her will, she groaned. 

"I came to check on you. Marella said that you were sick."

Stina lifted a weak hand and gestured to Sophie then herself.

"Won't I get sick? No. I just got my flu shot before coming to Foxfire. I managed to make some chicken soup."

Sophie shook her head in the lamp light.

"They don't make that here. I had to sneak into the kitchen at night to make this. Open your mouth."

Stina did as she said and Sophie managed to, miraculously, spoon it in without mess.

And, oh, it tasted like love; a love where you took days off work to care for them; a love that was messy, but that was what made it beautiful; a love where you could seek for comfort and get it; a love Stina wished she had.

She continued that until the bowl was (most likely) finished.

Stina had some strength to drink some water and fell back into her pillows.

She snuggled in and drowsily said, "Thanks, Foster. I'm sorry I'm not the best, but thanks for caring."

"Of course."

3 - Fries

"Foster, they were just fries. You don't have to freak out."

"JUST FRIES?! STINA, THEY WERE SPECIAL TO ME."

"They're just sliced potatoes."

Sophie's head left Stina's lap as she fell off the bench.

"YOU DARE INSULT FRIES IN MY PRESE-"

Stina put her hand over Sophie's mouth and smiled.

"I'm sorry, Foster."

Stina tilted her head like a puppy.

"You know, you're pretty cute when you're mad."

Sophie pulled her head away in shock and Stina could see that she'd turned red.

"Take that back!"

Stina smirked and tried not to notice how Sophie turned redder.

"Bringing out that tsundere energy, eh?"

Sophie got back up and pinned Stina to the bench. 

"Don't call me a tsundere or I swear, you'll regret it."

Stina's ears started burning and managed to let out a breathy "Yes."

Sophie stepped back and smiled.

Then it dropped.

"Where's my apology?"

Stina could feel her face burn up a bit.

Damn her poor lesbian heart.

"I'm sorry."

She stood up and held out her hand.

"As another apology, let's get you fries."

Sophie took it.

"You better buy me a Coke as well."

"As you wish, your Majesty."

4 - Broken

Stina closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

When she opened them, she looked at Sophie.

She'd just been through a fight with her earlier that day and Sophie had just confronted her about it.

She hoped that whatever happened wouldn't wreck another good relationship. 

"I'm really sorry I did that. I got carried away and I thought that you'd leave."

Stina started fiddling with her hair.

"And?"

"And, well, I shouldn't have gotten jealous."

Sophie's face relaxed, but her eyebrows furrowed again.

"Why… were you jealous in the first place?"

Stina gulped.

What if she thought that it was a silly reason and this time, she'd leave Stina like all the others did.

Nevertheless, she took a few shaky deep breaths and hugged her knees closer.

"I'm- I'm used to people leaving my life. I- it started when my older sister ran away and- and then when I turned thirteen, I- I started  ruining my own friendships.

"With my first, I t- told her that she looked pr- pretty, b-but she was convinced that I was just being g- gay and we spiraled into a huge fight.

"T- to be honest, she- she'd started acting like that after I came out, but this one was the worst she'd be- behaved.

"It ended badly and I ended up losing the rest of my friends because her friends became mine, but they were more loyal to her and-

"They left." a tear fell down her cheek. "They never came back. They'd yell slurs when they passed by me. And until Marella, I had short friendships.

"And even then, we rarely saw each other because we had clashing schedules.

"Then there was you."

More tears started falling down her face.

"W- when you became friends with me, I was convinced that you had a motive. I mean, we were fresh out of a project and that was the only reason why we made peace and-

"I didn't want to lose you, but you were being way friendlier than people usually were, so I distanced myself on purpose.

"But- but you didn't stop. When we ran for student council, I didn't really need all that time to make a presentation. I was just making time to see if you were sincere about being friends.

"You were. And then, well, I don't know. I- I think there's something wrong with me. I mean, there's gotta be something broken with my ability to keep relationships and-"

"Stina."

"-and I don't know how you manage to keep up with my bullshit, but-"

"Stina."

"-you don't deserve to be my friend and-"

"STINA."

Stina finally turned to Sophie, who was gripping her shoulders. 

"I'm not gonna leave you. Just because you blame yourself for those people leaving doesn't mean that you should be hard on yourself. They never deserved you in the first place. Promise me that you'll never degrade yourself like that."

"But-"

"Promise me."

Sophie made eye contact with Stina.

Stina looked away.

"I- I promise."

"Good. Now, are you going to apologize to my cousin or will you leave his boyfriend to it?"

"But I thought-"

"Denial."

"I'll let his boyfriend calm him down. I'll apologize later."

"That might be for the best. I've been meaning to leave Dex and Fitz alone because they have unresolved romantic tension."

5 - Kiss

Stina pulled away a bit too quickly for Sophie's liking. 

She avoided Sophie's gaze.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking and-"

Stina's words were cut off by Sophie's first initiated kiss.

When they pulled away from air, Stina was the reddest Sophie had seen her and seemed to be having a crisis over what to do.

"You- me- but- uh, no homo?"

Stina smiled sheepishly.

"If you say that each time after I kiss you in the future, you're not getting anymore."

"Yeah, that's fai- wait, did you just say-"

"Yes. Is it too homo that I want to ki-"

Of course, instead of being normal and responding verbally, Stina kissed Sophie again.

+1 - Hoodie 

"Hey, Stina?" Sophie called from the bathroom.

They were planning to go out, but barely 10 minutes out, they got soaked, so they went back to the summer cottage Stina and her mom were staying in.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. But, um, Stina, you sure that all your clothes fit?"

"Yeah, they do. Why?"

The door opened, and out stepped Sophie in one of Stina's pink hoodies that was, maybe, too big for her girlfriend.

Stina tried not to gay panic, but her ears betrayed her.

"This is why."

Sophie gestured to her entire outfit, ignoring Stina's familiar gay panic despite them dating for 4 months.

"I don't see a problem with that."

"The problem is that the outfit should've been cute, but the hoodie ruins everything."

"Really?"

Stina was starting to feel a bit hot despite how cold the rain made the room. 

"Yeah. Maybe it would look good on you."

"Maybe."

"Also, it wouldn't hurt to-"

Sophie finally noticed her red girlfriend.

"You haven't been this red since I kissed you. Are you okay? Do I need to get your mom?"

Stina shook her head.

"I'm totally fine!"

"You don't look fine."

"No, I promise. I'm. Fine."

Sophie had gone closer and Stina was starting to get dizzy from the blood rushing to her head.

"Really- oh wait, why are you getting redder?"

"I'm not!" Stina squeaked. "I swear!"

"Wait. Stina, is it the hoodie? I'm really sorry if you're mad about the hoodie- and, you're not mad. You were just having a gay panic."

Stina had finally passed out from all the blood rushing to her head. 

Sophie sighed and rolled her eyes affectionately. 

Only her girlfriend could pass out from a gay panic like that.

[caesarflickermans]

Tag Game

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better. I was tagged by @hayffiebird Thank you c:

Three ships:

Virgilia/Plutarch. I know, a bit cliche to put my own ship forth here, but I'm noticing how much less of a shipper I've become insofar that I've more lukewarm takes on most ships, but this is one I'm really passionate about. It really (obviously) encompasses a lot of what I personally enjoy in seeing a relationship unfold. Virgilia has her own personal journey that fits well with Plutarch's. They complement each other so well and it's enjoyable to write / think about them :>

David Butt/Julia Montague. Those two are from the BBC series Bodyguard and they are such an interesting couple. There's hatred initially, each of their moments bringing them closer, and the final resolution of their story (the question of being together) never finding an answer. The show has its own problems with the portrayal of Muslim characters, and tbf whenever I rewatch it I only watch the first three episodes, but it has a sort of tension and development that I've really never seen replicated. I'm a sucker for bodyguard stuff, but none ever did it as well as this show, and most of those stories are far too smutty, far too overprotective, far too easily and quickly resolve (and me and @beedelia totally have a Plutarch&V AU based on those two).

This is NOT a ROMANTIC ship (hence the &), but I love PLATONIC stuff so much, so: Ellie Williams&Joel Miller. I really, fully, enjoy their growth together. I love a good parenting platonic not-actually-related situation. Their story is so raw. It's the way that their relationship is painted through struggles. It's the going through everything to keep their dad/their daughter safe. I love their journey and I love both games so much.

This was really hard because, as I said, I've got plenty of ships and I feel rather lukewarm about them. As in, yeah, I enjoyed this, but it doesn't have my mind spinning once I finish it and am done with the show/game. Here's a list of some ships I enjoy, but do not have a lot to say about: F!Commander Shepard/Miranda Lawson (Mass Effect), Cullen Rutherford/F!Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Will Graham/Bedelia Du Maurier (Hannibal), Serena Joy/Mark Tuello (Handmaid's Tale), Blackbeard/Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death), Newt Scamander/Leta Lestrange (Fantastic Beasts). Was this cheating? Maybe, lol.

First ever ship:

I think my first ever ship was Captain Amelia/Dr. Doppler, mostly because I was very gay for Amelia and was excited for any romance interest she got. Like, it should have been me, but this was second best. I didn't write fanfiction about it or anything because I was far too young, but I think this was the first moment where I really shipped something.

First time I engaged with fandom might have been Remus Lupin/Tonks. Though I mostly read stuff rather than wrote anything.

First time I wrote something (in rp) was Haymitch/Effie, though I don't ship them anymore--same as Lupin and Tonks actually lol. Both for different reasons.

Last song: Bottom of the River by Delta Rae. Been listening to this one while writing!

Last movie: Everything Everywhere All At Once. I've had this on my watchlist since release and finally got around to it. Feels like something you should totally watch a second time. It was a brilliant movie.

Currently reading: A secret history. I'm not sure what to think of it yet & I'm halfway through. It's definitely interesting, but it's a very slow read (or maybe me mostly reading it in bed before falling asleep just doesn't read very fast).

Currently watching: Arctic Warrior. It's a German TV show about one (military) expert and one beginner having to survive (and travel through) the arctic parts of Finland. I usually don't enjoy those kind of shows, but I have a soft spot for Otto + watching it as an uncut reaction video from a favourite youtuber of mine is double fun. Actual tv series though, I want to start Succession (thanks Emily, lol) and/or Yellowjackets.

Currently consuming: I ate my salad + slice of bread for the evening :>

Currently craving: Still a bit hungry, so maybe some fruit later. I've got mango and peaches at home :)

Tagging: @beedelia @footnoteinhistory @plvtarch @mrsalanavalentine @rosegardeninwinter @ellanainthetardis @endlessnightlock @tinyfrenchowl @mollywog @districtunrest @bexbaxx @thegoddessprose @jenniferiawrence

[swordbreakerz]

Waving, I had no idea I was not the only one griping about this in the tags lol! Happy to give a tldr, sorry in advance if it's not the most clear, but:

At the end of season 6 fox cancelled the show, they had no intention of carrying it for more seasons. Luckily, the abc network picked it up almost immediately and confirmed for season 7. We had a LONG hiatus with the writers strike and other general network-switch-shenanigans, and then earlier this year we finally got s7, out first season with abc. There's a lot I could talk about here wrt to how we only got 10 episodes and the pacing n whatever, but we're here to talk about Tommy, so fast forwarding a little

Tommy was introduced as a helicopter pilot with the air rescue division of lafd in episode 3 during the cruise ship disaster arc, this seasons opening disaster. He and Buck have a nice shoulder touch moment at the end, it's very sweet. Episode 4, the series' 100th episode, comes out swinging with a buck centric episode of him being jealous that Tommy and Eddie (the latter being the second half of buddie, the most popular m/m ship and ship overall in the fandom) are hanging out a bunch and good friends. Its an insane episode, I felt crazy watching it, and then in the last 5 minutes Tommy shows up at bucks house to talk things out and then KISSES HIM and we get: buck bisexuality real. Abc loves us, thank you abc. After this tommy becomes bucks primary love interest for the season and they start dating after a catastrophic first date while buck figures out the whole bisexuality thing, they're very cute and very hot

And here is where we reach people losing. Their minds. Because after the initial kiss in episode four, people have started WILDLY hating on Tommy in ways that I don't think even bucks female love interests have gotten? Take that statement with a grain of salt tho, even when I've disliked his girlfriend's I stay OUT of the main tag so I don't know what levels it's reached. Point being, people are finding flaw with every little thing tommy says and does, calling him gross and insensitive for a daddy kink joke he makes when he and Buck are on a dinner date (THAT BUCK STARTED, BTW, buck is the one that started that particular flirt and made the conversation horny, christ), and overall being nitpicky in a way that uhhh Really really fucking comes off as homophobic. Another specific instance is at an awards ceremony later in the season, tommy and chimney (another 118 member) get approached by their old captain (why was he even there. Whatever) and he's racist and homohpobic at them because he sucks and then later in the scene Tommy is understandably subdued and uncomfortable seeming when he's chatting with buck and people JUMPED on that, seeming to forget he was all but called a slur to his face by his old captain he hates 5 minutes ago??? I'd be a little off too, jeez

To me it's even more of 'hes getting in the way of buddie!!!' than it's ever been with buck or Eddie's female love interests too, which is driving me nuts. All in all it's like, it's FINE to not be a fan of him as a love interest, right, you can feel whatever about it, but dont be a homophobe????? It's really not that fucking hard?????????

Anyway. Props if u read all of this I woke up like, 30 minutes ago, I'm deeply deeply tired and hoping people have calmed down over the hiatus, especially since we've started getting s8 promo. 911 fandom be normal about gay men challenge

many of you need to be asking yourself “would this statement be homophobic coming from the mouth of a conservative?” and then the followup “why do i think my identity absolves me of this?” . i am talking specifically about your comments about gay men btw

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E10 (part 1)

The Hope That Kills You

Nate arrives before everyone else, but something is off. Will is here (dun dun dun). Nah, Will is a sweetie, though they could have come up with a better last name for him than Kitman. His name is Will Kitman.... Guys, come on.

Nate got promoted! Good thing that Rebecca took his hostility well. He was so disarmed by her knowing his name that he forgot about what was going on.

The fact the Rebecca wants to be a part of this and is just as excited as the rest of the team shows how much she has grown to care for them, even while trying to destroy them.

The whole team being there to celebrate Nate's promotion shows how much they care for him now. But it also makes Nate's later betrayal hurt even more.

They even made him his own special box with a brand new whistle in it, just for him.

Okay, the jab at Colin hits different after season 3. And Nate picks him to be his verbal punching bag early on. I get that Colin used to bully him, but it stops being banter like it is now, and becomes more vengeful later in season 2.

Mr Muscle is a brand of cleaner in the UK.

Roy knowing his time is soon up wants Ted to find a replacement Captain for him. But Ted being, well... Ted isn't going to make things easy for him. I love their little back and forth, but Beard's reactions are the best part. Really, Ted plans on playing Roy at some point during their final match, so he has to stay as captain until after then.

Roy loves Ted, even if he won't admit it. Beard's 'He loves you' was adorable.

The last match of this season is against Manchester City, their soon to be white whale. They won't best them until 'Mom City' in season 3.

Yeah, I have no comment on how American football deals with all their shit teams, since I know nothing about sport. Hell, I don't even like European football, but I will watch the hell out of this show.

Don't blow whistles inside, that shit hurts ears. Why does Nate keep doing that?

Dani calling Jamie amigo. Still wants to see everyone as friends. Don't change Dani.

Jamie reverting back to being a pick. Making fun of the team, especially Roy and Ted. Yet Ted just smiles and takes the insults.

'Instant caramel'. He means karma but it's Jamie so he will get it wrong, not that he cares.

Isaac throwing the chair is perfect. He's the new captain now. Everyone but Roy flinches when he throws it, because Roy has probably done that many times himself. But it's Isaac's 'oops, innit?' that makes it perfect. It gets Roy's seal of approval.

Okay, the cigarette thing. Yes, in the UK people call them a word that is also used a slur words gay people. I fucking hate that word and will never use it. The longer form of the slur also shares it's name with a type of food. Never eaten it, never will. And I hate that word too.

Oh look, Baz is trying to be nice, insulting still but at least he is trying.

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek: Disco season 2

Episode 1

ooooh new intro!

oh not a new intro. lol

We got new uniforms. Very colorful.

lmao their EV suits are even more colorful. Those are terrible looking. they look like Mylar balloons.

Haha talk shit get hit Connelly.

ah poor Saru. Captain then not then captain then not lol

So Spock was chasing the same red dots as Pike? But sooner?

Episode 2

I feel bad bc I didn't get a chance to do my play by play on this one but... what the fuck.

Episode 3

No, don't bring Tyler back...

Why does Michael call Sarek 'Father' in conversation with him, but she says 'Amanda' instead of Mother? Seems the more obvious emotional connection would be to her, rather than him.

Oh, they gave the klingons their hair back, huh? lol

Ha, she says 'mother' when she's exasperated though. I guess she switches back and forth quite a bit for both.

I gotta say... even as a mother, the whole "I will have a fiercer title, call me Mother" thing made me roll my eyes.

Episode 4

"I can fix that analogy with duct tape, too" lol I think I like Tig's character.

Saru's gonna make me cry. You know... they didn't like each other much in the beginning, and then he actively disliked her later in season 1. I love that they've grown into a friendship since then.

Hey, he's not dead!

Episode 5

Fuckin Georgiou lol I'm glad they still get to use Michelle Yeoh though.

Poor Tilly's having a rough week.

Hey they unburied the gay. And made him out of mushroom. And showed his bare ass on tv.

Episode 6

hmmm are the Ba'ul also Kelpian? Is that why they won't show us what they look like and why 'you don't even know what you are' is a thing? Do they remove the ganglia and then they become this aggressive, fearless, isolationist society? The kelpians are just... adolescents?

Half right :joy:

Ok, I gotta stop watching while I play Starfield cause I don't have time to actually write things about it lol