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hyunsuks-beanie · 3 years ago

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Come With Me

Culinary major! Soobin x food vlogger! reader; just some teeth rotting fluff

Word Count: 3.35k words

Mellow speaks: So I finally completed this long overdue and super fun request!!! Honestly, writing this was just so amazing, and I kinda drew Y/N based on my own self, so I hope you enjoy reading it!!

Rushing into his apartment, Soobin didn't waste a single minute in discarding his bag on the floor, rushing towards his laptop and turning it on. As the screen booted, the final-year culinary major prayed to the gods for the livestream to not have started yet. The winner of the contest from last month was to be announced at the beginning of the stream, and even though Soobin didn't have any hopes of him winning, he couldn't help the tiny voice at the back of his head saying, "What if?."

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a voice, sweet and velvety as always. There you were, on his screen, the biggest of smiles plastered on your face, making him feel warm all over. Y/N L/N, his favorite food vlogger in the world, ready to start another livestream. Soobin had always been more of a silent supporter, his introverted self being too shy to even post a comment under any of your videos, partly because you had a habit of replying to as many of those comments as possible, and he knew for a fact that he would combust on the spot if you were to ever reply to his praises of you.

You see, he greatly admired your love for food and your wanderlust. He was also a great fan of the way you spoke, and the way you articulated your ideas and thoughts. Truth be told, he genuinely liked you, and not just your voyager self. Watching your videos over the years, he had found himself developing a small crush on you, knowing full well that it was probably just him being starstruck. So, gathering all the bravery he had, the boy had finally pressed "Send" on the application form for the competition on the last day, after contemplating it for God knows how long.

There had been only one question on the form, asking respondents to describe what food meant to them. A smile had graced Soobin's lips as you answered it, pouring in his most sincere thoughts on everything culinary. What had pushed him to participate, you ask? It had been the prize, of course. A chance to hang out with none other than you yourself, through a one-on-one video call. He had always wanted to see you in person, to tell you how much your vlogs meant to him. How they had helped discover his own love for food, had helped him find his happiness in the kitchen.

And that had brought him to right now, biting on his fingernails as he listened to your regular introduction, one that he knew by heart and repeated after you, subconsciously. "Hey my food-holics! How are all of you doing today? Hale and hearty, I hope!," you said, following up quickly with a brief overview of the contest, before announcing the winner, as Soobin waited with bated breath. "All your answers were amazing, and I could relate to so many of them! It really sucks that we can only have one winner, since you're all winners to me!," you smiled, and he caught himself copying your expression. "So now, the winner of the contest, and the person who gets to be my new friend, is @aglio_olive!!," you exclaimed, clapping your hands as your eyes crinkled up in joy.

The fact that you had just announced him as the winner of registered belatedly, as Soobin was busy gushing over how adorable you had looked while clapping. He felt his mouth drop open, finding it hard to focus on what you said next. "I'll be contacting you via email shortly," you had said, and that was all it took for the rest of the livestream to go by in a blur for him, as he waited for your mail, checking and re-checking his inbox every two minutes. But it wasn't until the next day that he finally received what he had been peeling his eyes out for. An email from your official account (or that's what he figured), informing him that the meeting would take place on the coming Saturday, at 6:00 pm. Now all he had to do was wait three days, but it was easier said than done.

By the time Saturday rolled around, Soobin was equal parts bubbling with excitement and panicking with nerves. Reluctant to trust his own fashion choices, he had called over his best friend, Yeonjun, hoping to get some much needed guidance. "Should I wear this suit? Or will simple tracks be better?," he had asked, making the older boy shake his head as he patted him on the back. "My friend, Y/N's neither your professor, nor your friend. You're meeting them for the first time, so why don't you just wear something comfortable, that would make them feel at ease too?," he smirks, throwing a plain blue hoodie his way.

As the clock struck 6:00, Soobin found himself seated at his study table, ready to start the meeting. He had even prepared cue cards to help him if he got stuck, and they were propped conveniently next to the laptop. He reached out for them, but just at that moment, his screen came alive with someone waving at him with a smile on their face. Awestruck, he simply waved back, too tongue-tied to say anything. "Wow," he thought to himself, "They look so much better without makeup." A couple seconds later, a new kind of panic set in. "Am I staring too hard? Is it creepy? Should I look down? No but I need to keep eye contact!"

Little did he know, you were having similar, if not identical thoughts. "Wow, no one told me he was gonna be this cute. Blue suits him so well! I'm no staring, am I? Should I speak first? Or should I wait for him to say something?" This finally resulted in the both of you speaking at the same time, something you would later smile about. Because saying "How are you? I'm Soobin," and "I'm Y/N! How are you?," helped you crack into laughter, breaking the ice and easing the awkwardness. Once you had gotten past the niceties, it was time to get to know each other better. The cue cards lay unused, as Soobin just spoke about whatever came to mind, praising your vlogs and thanking you for teaching him more about cuisines. You, on the other hand, took the time to get to know him better, asking him questions about what it was like to study culinary science, something you had never gotten the chance to do.

The hour-long virtual meeting flew by in the blink of an eye, or so it seemed to the both of you. Talking to you, Soobin didn't once feel that you were a stranger or that he was just a fan. You seemed like a genuine and warm person to him that he couldn't help but admire you even more than he did before. To him, somewhere during the meeting, you stopped seeming like a famous vlogger anymore, and instead, all he saw you as was a friend. You, on the other hand, had made up your mind about him being the most interesting person you had ever met, and couldn't stop a sad sigh from escaping your lips as you looked at the time. "Well, Soobin. It's been a pleasure meeting you," you had said, making him smile wistfully.

The moment he had logged out of the meeting, he found himself missing you. He thought back on how nice you had been, smiling when he pictured your face, your hair slightly messy but not too unkempt, an oversized hoodie thrown over your body. To him, it had honestly felt like he was conversing with a friend, and he couldn't bring himself to let such an amazing person walk out of his life. So, without thinking, he began typing out an email to your account, his finger hovering just above the "Send" button. He stopped short though, realizing that your official account wasn't meant for personal mails, and realizing that he had no other means to contact you. Pouting, he fell face-first onto the bed, his energy going down all of a sudden.

He woke up to a "ping," indicating an email on his phone. Unlocking it, he noticed a mail from an account he had never contacted before. Clueless, he clicked on it, the phone nearly falling out of his hand as he read through it. It had been you, after all, reaching out to him through your personal account, and telling him that you had loved talking to him, and would like to be his friend. And thus began the most beautiful friendship either of you had ever forged, full of memories even though you hadn't met each other.

Late night video chats and good morning calls became a ritual, and Soobin found himself busily typing away on his phone every free second he got. You told him all about your escapades and trips, sending him photos and urging him to try cooking whatever you ate and whatever you liked. He, on the other hand, would teach you to cook, sending you tips and giving you suggestions on what to eat. Food was an intergalactic part of the relation you shared, but it was far from being the only thing.

When things got hard for him, you were there to push him towards his dream, reminding him day in and day out that he would have to give in his all to achieve it. "You'll be the greatest chef one day, Soob," you'd giggle, causing him to let out a whine as he said, "How would you know? You haven't even tasted my cooking yet!" He too, was there to provide you a taste of what it felt like to be grounded to one place, to have everything you wanted right next to you. He was there for you to cry to when someone posted a nasty comment under you video, and he was there to virtually feed you when you missed a home-cooked meal. Inside jokes became a thing, as did bitching about classmates and complaining about managers.

Over time, your friendship started blossoming into something more, as Soobin found himself catching feelings, real feelings, for you. The way you smiled, the way you would bite your nails just like him as you went through what people had to say about your videos, the way you cracked stupid jokes and laughed at them alone, he found himself loving them all. He had given his heart out to you, and he didn't want to take it back. You, meanwhile, had been a bit more careful of your feelings, wary of harboring any hopes for a long-distance relationship. But over time, you too, found yourself drowning into the oceans that were his eyes, watching the way his lips moved through the screen, imagining them on yours. Over time, you too, felt your feelings grow, but being your stubborn self, you didn't act on them.

Days turned into months, and soon enough, you were keeping Soobin company through his late night study sessions, talking to him in the hopes of keeping him awake. Helping him prepare flashcards, and letting him teach you a full four-course meal so that he could practice for his practical exams. "What are you gonna do once you graduate?," became a regular question you posed towards him, and every time, it was the same reply. "I don't know yet, Y/N. I want to do something like you. I want to travel the world and learn about different cuisines first-hand."

As Soobin's exams drew nearer, you found yourself bring just as worried as he was, worried about how he'd fare in the examinations, worried about what he'll do when he gets his degree. But keeping your concerns aside, you did your best to push him to do his best, study that last chapter, practice that last technique, memorize that last recipe. "I just wanna sleep, Y/N," he'd whine, only to have you let out a giggle at how adorable he looked. "It's for your own good, bub," you'd reply, your smile somehow managing to give him the strength to put in just a little extra effort.

Seeing him work so hard, you couldn't help but want to give him a surprise by congratulating him in person when he graduated. So, you decided to plan a trip to Seoul, shooting a film vlog just an excuse to finally meet your closest friend, and the person you had a crush on. You had initially wanred to keep the plan a secret, but soon realized what a waste it would be to not use it to your advantage. And so started your ingenious way of getting Soobin to hit the books. "I'm coming to Seoul after your exams, but I'll meet you only if you put in all your effort," you'd tell him, repeating it like a mantra day in and day out.

In response, the boy would pout and whine about how he "hated" you, but started putting in double the effort, just to make you proud. Your tactic seemed to work, but Soobin was still nervous. Nor about the theory, but about the practical exams. "What if I don't do well on the exam? It happens all the time on Masterchef," he said one day, looking into your eyes as you attempted to calm him down. "I know you'll nail it, Binnie," you replied, smiling at him through the screen. "Just think about what makes you happy while you cook, and you'll be good to go." As if on a whim, Soobin muttered out a soft, "You," causing your breath to hitch as you asked him to repeat. "You make me happy," he said again, looking down as he felt his cheeks growing warm. You couldn't help but smile at his sudden confession, sending a virtual kiss his way. "Now go study, you idiot," you giggled, proceeding to tell him about your day as he pored over his books.

The day of his practical exam rolled by, and as you had said, Soobin decided to cook while thinking of something that made him happy. He thought back on the day when you had told him about a delicacy from a city you had visited, and had convinced him to teach you how to make it. The memory alone made a smile appear on his lips, reminding him of how happy the two of you were. And so, that's what he cooked, passing his exam with flying colors. He was so happy he could have kissed you if you were there, and he told you that, causing a laugh to escape your lips. "I'll be there soon," was all you said, fighting to control your excitement.

Soobin passed with flying colors, earning his degree fair and square. And the one person he wanted to thank for it, was you. As you had promised him, a week later found you roaming the streets of Seoul, as you hurriedly made your way towards his college, ready to finally meet him at his convocation. Climbing up the stage to accept his degree, his eyes were busy scanning the crowds, eager to see your face. When he couldn't find you, however, he felt his smile falter, as he took in a gulp.

"Where are you Y/N?," he thought to himself, hand itching to check his phone that was lying in his back pocket. You had told him you'd be here on time, so then, where were you? Just as he feels himself falling deeper into his thoughts, he (like everyone else in the hall) hears footsteps running down the corridor, finally revealing you standing at the entrance, out of breath and with a huge smile stretching across your face. "You're here," he mouthed, his smile matching yours, as you replied with a simple nod and a "Congratulations," your eyes brimming with tears of joy for the boy.

Accepting his degree, Soobin walked off the stage to sit with his classmates, eyes meeting yours every so often as he tried to fight the urge to rush to you and hug you. Once the ceremony ended, neither of you wasted a second in finding each other, throwing yourselves into a hug long overdue. It didn't feel weird as you snuggled your face into his convocation robe, and it didn't feel weird as he did the same into your hair. Pulling away, you just couldn't hide the smiles that threatened to take over your entire face, taking each other's hand as Soobin left you to his parents. "Mom, Dad, this is my friend Y/N," he introduced, and his mom didn't miss the spark in her son's eyes as he looked at you.

Once you were done with the niceties, the two of you made your way out into the city once Soobin had handed his robe over to his mom. Walking the streets with him, with you cracking jokes and him pointing out tourist sights to you, you felt something you had never felt, no matter how many cities you visited. A sense of comfort, a sense of belonging. You felt like you were home for the first time in ages, and it was all because of the guy walking next to you. As if on a whim, you whipped out your video-camera, switching it on and turning it to yourself. Soobin belatedly realized what you were doing, when he heard you recite you introduction. Looking at you in shock, he felt his mouth fall open as he heard you say the words, "Friend," "Soobin," "Featuring," "Guide," in quick succession, piecing the sentence together in his brain.

"Y/N! What are you doing??," he whined, looking down to hide his face. "Awww Soobinnie is shy!!! Sorry guys, it's his first time," you cooed, a giggle escaping your lips as you turned your camera off, trying to convince him to feature in your vlog. "But I won't know what to say!!," he retorted, making you snicker. "Just take me out to eat somewhere tell, and tell the camera why you like the place you like and the food you like. It's not that hard!," you replied, and after much convincing (and some borderline begging), he finally agreed.

He showed you all his favorite eateries and restaurants, gawking at the insane discounts you got him, and just enjoying watching you eat in person, sharing his food. By the time evening rolled out, the two of you were full to your throats, looking out over the river from the bridge. "Thank you Y/N," Soobin said, turning to look at you. "For today, and for everyday. For being there for me, and for being the best friend I have ever had, and more." "Thank you too, Soob," you replied, your eyes stinging as you looked up at him. "Thank you for making me feel at home. Thank you for becoming my home." You hadn't noticed just how close your faces had become, both of you having leaned in subconsciously. Finally, Soobin closed the gap, your lips meeting his in a kiss that's full of the pent-up love and emotions.

His lips were soft against yours, molding with yours like two pieces of the same puzzle. Pulling away, a smile graced your lips as you looked up at him shyly, whispering an "I like you," causing him to repeat your words and adding a "too," cheeks rising up in a smile. Biting you bottom lip, you say, "Come with me," making him tilt his head in confusion. "You said you wanted to be like me. To learn about cuisines first-hand. Then come with me. I don't want to be away from you, I want to be with you 24/7, and not virtually. I want to talk to you in person, to hug you, to kiss you." You notice his smile growing wider, and so you ask, "So, what do you say?," as he replies by placing his lips back on yours.

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saintobio · 3 years ago

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I don't know if you have seen it at your other account inbox but I was the 🐉 anon, I written that ask at saintgojo and I can totally understand why it wasn't answered (Which totally amused me when I was right with the imagine). And the amount of times I laughed when I saw that part in Chapter Eleven where Y/N bought Toji a pair of shoes and Gojo was acting like a jealous child when deprived of its candy. I suddenly let out my evil laugh in the middle of the night when I read that. The part was so amusing (that's what you get for gifting that bitch with Princess Diana's shoes, anger coming from a royal family geek) Anyways, this chapter was hard to read. It was fun at first and I had a round of laughter, ALSO NAOYA. WHAT?! AJDHWHSAJDHAHSHA. DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE MILFS. 💀 I had my time in the sun, before that hospital scene came. I am so sad for what Y/N had to go through, I just wish she'll finally and completely let go of what's causing her problems and live for herself. And you know? I am having faith in S*ra that she understands the situation with Gojo and Y/N, I know she's a smart woman and she doesn't have to go this low just to get revenge.

I know she can understand the situation and I hope for her character change (At the same time I don't, because fuck that bitch). But ugh, if she really ends up pregnant then damn. Y/N better get the divorce papers ready.

I have a question though, if ever S*ra dies or what freak may happen. Do you think Y/N will accept her baby and treat the baby as her own? (But of course, the baby will learn the truth later on). Because if I compare S*ra and Y/N, I just know that Y/N will love the baby (if ever) even if it hurts her. She's selfless, (I hope my words don't come out as offensive). I can clearly see her pitying the child if ever the child ends up loosing their mother at a young age, like her.

But I trust you and your writing, and I can see how much you love both the main leads. I just know you'll give enough justice to Y/N (and maybe the other characters). I am looking forward to the future chapters and S2 of SN will be freaking amazing and I will highly anticipate it.

And I just know that the next chapters will be more angsty so I have to get myself ready for the feels and cry. Seeing how Chapter Eleven ended. I have to get ready for the next battle. You're so good in conveying such heavy emotions out of your readers (like me) from your writing. I applaud you for that. 👏😩

That's the end of my rant about your beautiful book, I'll also take my time and read RE because it seems like you and your readers liked it. I'll give it a chance (I am not a fan of webtoon manhwa's but you know, I can't be biased towards any forms of literature or art.)

I also hope you won't be too hard on yourself, seeing as I am a quiet reader and have your notifs on, I read that you cried (is that the right word to use?) to your friend about Chapter 10(?). I know I can't say anything to ease your diligent nature because you mentioned that you're quite the perfectionist. But you should know that your health, well-being, and mental health concerns us too. So you shouldn't pressure yourself because you (may) think that you may have not done so well in some certain chapters. You are always doing well saint. And I adore you for that.

You should know that you're my favorite fanfic author. No joke. I look up to you, please take care of yourself.

Signed by, 🐉 anon.

thank you for writing to me <33 as of your question, yn will take care of the baby and treat it as her own but raising sera’s child would leave a negative impact on her as a wife and a mother — ofc she won’t show it to the baby bc she’s very loving, but the thought will stick with her possibly for the rest of her life.

also aaah yes i didn’t exactly cry. i was just ranting to my moot about how much i struggled writing chapter 10 but it turns out that chapter 12 is even harder to finish i got sick so the creativity wasn’t there. i feel awful that the next chapter isn’t well written but it’s the best i can do for now 😭 thanks again for leaving this message <33 ur words brought me comfort !!

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not #tw.pregnancy #tw.death

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years ago

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Hewo! I know I was literally just hear but like, I like your inbox soooooooo yeh. ALSO you introduced me to my new obsession *coughAnalosleepcough* and that deserves some recognition or whatever. So uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, meep. quack quack. moo. mooove bitch get out the way. (in a john cena voice) ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. I'm feeling very memey right now. Send help. Or send me Analosleep fics\headcanons. Whatever works to make sure I don't die. I'm sowwy I have done this (Not really tho)

oh,,,, so you want analosleep do you,,,, :3

a dangerous thing to say to an idle Me, Hewo…. a dangerous thing….

(warnings for sleep deprivation, self-deprecation specifically around feeling things/feeling sad, referenced nightmares + isolation, panic attack, happy ending ofc; tagging @emo-disaster for the fic idea + the fact that it’s their ot3 I’m legally obligated to tag ‘em)

When Logan shot up in bed in the dead of night, his first instinct was to slam a hand over his mouth.

Of course, this seemed to be a poor choice on his part- it was hard to breathe through sobs when you couldn’t pull in the air through your mouth, as sobbing often demanded you do- but in reality, it was the most logical one. It was the only way to muffle his sobs; aka, it was the only way to make sure he didn’t wake up his partners. They were cuddled against him, Virgil simply curling into his side whereas Remy had their arm through over his midsection. Though both were snoring softly, Logan knew that, if he wasn’t very careful, they’d be awake soon enough. Insomnia and poor sleeping habits made both of them into very light sleepers.

Which made the whole ‘not waking them as he fell apart’ thing a little difficult.

Slowly, Logan lifted Remy’s arm off of himself, tucking it against his partner’s side. Remy stirred at the movement, and Logan immediately froze, holding his breath as well as he could until Remy seemed to have settled back down.

He pushed himself up, careful not the creak the mattress too much as he quietly jumped over Remy. He hit the ground quietly enough, the result of having pulled this move off many times for happier reasons- usually to escape Remy trying to keep him in bed all day (and often being immediately caught a moment later by Virgil) or to get out so he could make a surprise breakfast for his partners. Using it in such unpleasant circumstances was grim, but if it worked…

Logan was careful as he crept out of the bedroom, well aware of exactly where the hazards and noisy spots were. He moved towards the dresser first, claiming his glasses before moving towards his escape. The door was tricky- it always squealed halfway through opening. Even opening it as little as possible, it still whined, and Logan winced, quickly turning back towards the bed to see if either of his loves had awakened.

Remy remained on their side, motionless and facing away from him, but Virgil had moved, face scrunched up as he reached out for the warmth that had left when Logan did, but his eyes thankfully still closed. Logan waited in the doorway as he watched Virgil grope about, letting out a small breath of relief when he found Remy’s arm and tugged them closer. With luck, he’d assume that Remy was Logan and fall back asleep, paying no mind to the lack of a third body in their shared bed.

Feeling secure in a successful escape, Logan slipped fully out of the bedroom, padding down the hallway towards the kitchen. He wiped impatiently at the drying tear tracks on his cheeks, happy that, at the very least, his sobbing had sorted itself out.

All he had to do now was get a drink of water, wash his face, take a breath, and go back to bed, pretending like nothing happened. Because that was the truth of the matter- nothing had happened! Nothing at all! It had just been some stupid nightmare- hell, was it even bad enough to be called a nightmare? Logan really didn’t think so.

After all, it had been bland- just him, him in some void of a place, all alone. Which was fine, what did he care, the only thing that even mattered a little was the odd lingering feeling dream-him had, the feeling that earlier he hadn’t been alone, that earlier Virgil and Remy had been there, but they were gone by the time the dream started, gone because they didn’t want to be there, gone because they didn’t want to be with Logan, gone because they had left him because they didn’t want him couldn’t deal with him couldn’t be with someone they didn’t love-

Logan stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, hand coming up to his mouth again as another sob tried to bubble out- this time not to muffle himself (the kitchen was down the hall from the bedroom, he was plenty far, he hoped) so much as to stop the sobbing before it could start up again.

Because it was pointless, really, to be crying over some stupid dream that wasn’t even real, that he knew wasn’t real and therefore didn’t matter to him at all, that didn’t mean anything because it was just. a. dream.

His body, however, wasn’t getting the message, and his attempts to stop his sobs were failing. All he could manage was keeping them quiet, even as he leaned against the kitchen doorway and slid down it, hitting the floor not-so-gently as he continued to remind himself why this all was just stupid.

Stupid, pointless, not even real, just a dream, get over yourself, even if it was real you could deal with it, this is stupid, whiny, emotional, this is-

“Honey?”

Logan froze at the sound of his partner’s voice. Why were they awake? He had been so careful- and they needed their sleep, why would they have come after him-

Remy was already dropping down to crouch next to him. They looked odd like this- hair messy instead of carefully arranged, sunglasses no where in sight, wearing baggy shirt and shorts instead of their fitting jacket and jeans- but they also looked soft, so Logan didn’t mind. At least, they normally looked soft- right now, forehead creased, eyes worried, they looked unhappy, and Logan hated that.

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but a sob came out instead, and even though he slapped his hand over his mouth as soon as it slipped out Remy had still heard it, their eyes only going wider in worry. They reached out, placing their hands on Logan’s shoulders. When he didn’t react, they started moving their hands over his arms, grounding, comforting, familiar.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, shh, you’re okay, I’m here, you’re safe, you’re okay, darling it’s alright, you’re alright.”

“Why are you awake?” Logan managed to ask, this time successfully stifling the sob that tried to slip out instead. There were still tears running down his face, yes, but it was dark- he could probably convince Remy it was just a trick of the light, convince them that Logan was fine, that they could go back to bed and Logan would be there soon enough, completely fine, as if nothing had happened (because, in Logan’s mind, nothing had).

“I woke up when you opened the door.” Remy answered, still running their hands over Logan’s arms soothingly. “Virgil did too. I thought you were just going to get water, but he said you looked upset.”

“I’m fine.”

Remy chuckled, but they sounded pained. “Babes, you’re crying on the kitchen floor at two am in the morning. This isn’t fine.”

“I’ll be fine.” Logan corrected. “You should- you can go back to bed, I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Then I can wait a moment so that we can go back to bed together.” Remy told him, one hand moving from Logan’s arm to cup his cheek, thumb wiping away some of his tears. “I know how you react to these things, love, and I’m not going to leave you alone to repress and ignore your problems away.”

“Go to bed, I’ll be fine.” Logan repeated, turning his head away from Remy and the hand cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes, as if pressing them shut would stop the flow of tears, would make Remy be sleeping again, would put everything back to a few minutes ago when everything- as far as his partners were aware- was fine, would make it so neither of them had to deal with him now, deal with him like this.

And that was the really ugly part of all this, the reason why he couldn’t just shake the thought, shake the stupid nightmare that wasn’t real- because it could be real, so easily, so easy that Logan was surprised it wasn’t real already, because his partners must have made some mistake when they picked him and every day that passed that they didn’t undo it was a miracle to him.

Because they were so- so feeling, Remy so lively and real and carefree, and Virgil may often be stuck in the throes of his anxiety but when he wasn’t he was so alive and bright and happy in his own way it was nearly infectious, and then there was Logan, Logan who had as many feelings as a worm and smushed them all down to the point they barely existed anyways, until all he was was stupid pointless outbursts and annoyance and waking up his partners who needed to sleep and not worry about him or his stupid fake unrealistic problems that came in the form of night time terrors and sobs he just couldn’t silence-

“-gan? Logan, I need you to breathe for me.”

Breathe? Why did he need to breathe? Wasn’t he already breathing? Why was Virgil (and when did Virgil get here?) asking him to breathe when he was already-

Oh.

He wasn’t breathing.

That was why.

He tried to do as Virgil asked, tried to take a breath in (since apparently at some point he had stopped), but it got stuck halfway up his throat, choking him instead. He bent over as he coughed, someone squeezing his hand reassuringly as he did so, Virgil still in front of him. Virgil took Logan’s free hand and pressed it against his chest.

“Breathe.” Virgil repeated, taking a deep breath as he spoke. Logan knew what he was doing- over-exaggerating his breaths so that Logan could follow them. Logan was more than grateful for the gesture.

It took a few minutes of Virgil coaching him through the breathing exercise and Remy- who Logan had finally identified as the one holding his hand- murmuring reassurances before Logan finally got his breathing under control. As soon as he did, Logan ducked his head, refusing to meet Virgil’s focused and earnest yet incredibly worried eyes any longer.

“Hey, Lo, can you look at me?”

Logan ignored Virgil’s polite ask. His boyfriend sighed before softly cupping Logan’s cheek. He didn’t force Logan to look up, however. “Can I see your pretty face, love?”

“Don’t want to.” Logan murmured, shaking his head minutely against Virgil’s palm.

“Alright.” Virgil responded easily, still cupping Logan’s cheek. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Logan said. “I’m fine.”

“You already tried that, hun.” Remy pointed out, words accusatory though his tone was only gentle. “And if I didn’t believe you before you had a panic attack, I’d definitely not believe you now.”

“I’ll be fine.” Logan said instead, well aware he was just repeating what he had told Remy earlier, hoping it would work this time. “I’ll be fine, just- you can just go back to bed, I’m sorry I woke you-”

“We’re not going back to bed until we know what’s wrong.” Virgil said, calmly but firmly. His hand remained against Logan’s cheek, thumb now rubbing a circle right beneath his eye. “And something’s pretty clearly wrong.”

“And whatever it is, you can tell us, sweetheart.” Remy added. “We won’t be angry, or upset, or anything. We just want to know what’s hurting you.”

“It’s stupid.” Logan told them bitterly.

Virgil clicked his tongue. “If it’s got you this worked up, it’s not stupid. And even if it were, I’d still want to hear it. We can’t help you til we know why you need help, starshine.”

Logan didn’t respond to that, allowing the conversation to be overtaken by silence. Remy and Virgil seemed to be alright with it, Virgil continuing to rub circles against Logan’s face and Remy continuing to ground him by squeezing his hand, neither of them showing any signs of stopping soon.

“…I had a dream.” Logan finally admitted after a good five minutes had passed, forced to accept that nothing he said would get his partners to simply give up on him (and a horribly illogical part of him spoke up too, saying this meant not escape but comfort, but Logan ignored that part). He cleared his throat. “A nightmare, actually.”

Both his partners made a noise of upset. “What was it about?” Virgil asked.

“Nothing, which is why it’s so stupid.” Logan lamented, angry at himself. “It was just me, sitting around doing nothing.”

“Is that all?” Virgil asked, gently prying, clearly unbelieving that there was nothing more to the nightmare.

“Yes!” Logan said, snapping, not at them but at the general idea of such a thing having brought him so low. “That was all- I was just there, minding my own business, alone, alone because-” Logan cut himself off, ignoring the lump that was starting to reform in his throat.

“Because what?” Remy pushed, quietly.

Logan swallowed. “Because-” He could say this, it wasn’t that hard, just the truth, “because you- you two had- you weren’t actually there I just knew that- that you had- you had left.”

Something that had just barely been fixed broke inside of Logan as he said that, and suddenly he was crying again, which really wasn’t making him feel any less stupid. Now, however, his partners were here, Virgil moving to hold Logan’s face with both his hands, gently wiping away the tears but not minding if he missed some; Remy’s grip moved from his hand to his waist, their arms wrapping around him and holding him comfortingly close.

“Shh, darling, handsome, honey-love, it’s okay, it’s alright.” Remy murmured, laying their forehead against the side of Logan’s head, a warm and real reminder that they were there. “No wonder you were upset, sweetness, I’d be upset too.”

“And it’s not stupid.” Virgil added, taking a moment to tuck Logan’s hair behind his ears so that Virgil could see his eyes. “Being left behind by people you care about is terrifying, Lo.”

“But it wasn’t real.” Logan protested, his voice raw and ugly from crying as he spoke. “It was just an illusion, a product of my mind, and you two are- you’re here, now, and not gone- yet- not gone and-”

“We’re not gone ever.” Virgil corrected. “You’re stuck with us forever.”

“I don’t know why…” Logan muttered, looking downwards, as if that would hide his comment.

“Because we love you, ya dork.” Remy said, voice light but sincere. “Because you’re cute and you make nerdy science jokes and have our favorite meals memorized even though you can’t cook and you’re the best at giving surprise cheek kisses and while it’s really stupid you’re always trying to be admirable and deal with your issues alone, which- like I said- is stupid, but sweet in theory.”

“Don’t want to bother you-”

“And you’re not.” Virgil cut him off, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You’re our very beloved boyfriend, Logan. If you’re hurting, we want to help you. You’re never bothering us, especially not over something like this.”

Logan didn’t speak for a moment, processing what his partners had told him. He almost wanted to come back with a lie, almost wanted to look at it and find that their words were false and empty, but he didn’t find that- it was late, they were all tired, and yet their voices were real and honest, in a way that couldn’t be faked ten minutes after awakening.

With a sigh, Logan leaned his head forward, Virgil immediately moving up so that Logan’s head hit his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“Don’t be.” Virgil told him, starting to run his fingers through Logan’s hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I was being illogical.”

“We all are sometimes, dearest.” Remy said soothingly.

Once more, silence fell upon the three of them, but it was more comfortable this time, Logan allowing himself to relax against both his partners as they held him. The nightmare was still playing in the background of his mind, but it didn’t hold as much sway over him now, the loneliness of the false memory nothing against the warmth of his reality.

“Should we relocate?” Virgil asked after a good five minutes had passed, still combing through Logan’s hair. Logan had started to lean more and more heavily against him, slowly but surely falling back into the embrace of sleep.

Logan nodded against Virgil’s shoulder, humming tiredly. Crying took too much effort.

Virgil just chuckled. “Babe, you wanna pick up our moonbeam?”

“Of course.” Remy said, quietly but happily. There was some shifting around Logan- part of which involved him removing his head from the crook of Virgil’s neck- before he was settled in Remy’s arms, his partner holding him close against their chest.

“No offense, babe, but you look worse than I do when I haven’t had my coffee.” Remy teased as they carried Logan back towards their room, Virgil following behind.

“Oh, don’t be mean to him.”

“I’m just saying!”

Logan hummed again and pushed himself closer to Remy. “Shhhh.”

“Aw, sleepy nerd.”

Virgil gently slapped their arm for that one, Remy chuckling soundlessly before leaning over and giving Virgil a kiss. “Love you too.”

Finally, they reached their bedroom once more, Virgil pulling Logan’s glasses off for him as Remy settled him down on the bed.

“And this time-” Remy got on the bed as well, barely a second between them letting Logan go and them pulling him close against their chest once more, “you’re going to sleep until noon.”

“That’s too late.” Logan protested sleepily.

“And you’ve had a rough night.” Virgil said, climbing in behind Logan and wrapping his arms around both him and Remy. “You can have a little bit of sleeping in. As a treat.”

“That’s grammatically horrible.”

Virgil just laughed quietly and kissed the top of Logan’s head. “Go to sleep, nerd. Worry about my grammar in the morning.”

And, surrounded by the solid, real warmth of his partners who had no intentions of going anywhere, Logan did.

#analosleep #ts virgil #ts logan #ts remy #ts sleep #hewo anon #the cryptid speaks #the cryptid answers #sorry this took so long to write #and sorry it sucks ajdhbjfds #I don't like it much but eh #nb!remy #also completely unedited because we die like men

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: ��🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with 🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Grace

Janis: [When the first snap] Janis: what the fuck Grace: my reaction to you being in my inbox rn tbh babes Janis: what the hell are you doing Grace: none of your business ever Janis: it's everyone's business now don't you know Grace: & that's the only reason that you care Grace: whatever I told him not to post it Janis: are you for real Janis: yeah, he tends not to listen, did you not get that memo either Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: we ALL got it, hun Janis: evidently not Grace: oh you wish Grace: he told me everything so Janis: I bet Janis: for your own sake get over how much you hate me and love yourself a bit Janis: this is pathetic, even for you Grace: get over yourself Grace: nothing I do is about you Janis: this isn't about you Janis: and you know it Janis: come on Grace, fucking hell Grace: like I said, you wish Grace: you think I'm pathetic but what's thinking everyone's obsessed with you? Janis: get a grip Janis: he's vile and this all started because I really did not wish Janis: realistic Janis: is what it is right now Grace: OMG Grace: you first Grace: suddenly you care, I think not Grace: leave me alone, I really was living for it Janis: Yeah I care that you don't make an absolute joke out of yourself Grace: welcome to my world for like years, bitch Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: whatever, I'm not engaging in this with you Janis: I would never do this, none of us would Grace: sure Grace: that's so believable Janis: you're cracked Janis: whatever we might reckon about this family you were raised to have more self-respect than this, it's bullshit Grace: ugh shut up Grace: you're so full of it Janis: full of what Grace: I'm the family disappointment all of a sudden, okay Grace: get real Janis: did I say that Janis: don't feel sorry for yourself when you're the only one who can do something about it Grace: I don't Grace: you're the one trying to make me go there Grace: it's honestly so cringe Janis: Go where Grace: oh please Grace: you're trying to make me feel bad Grace: duh Grace: it's your thing Janis: feel bad because you're letting yourself be used and for literally the most ridiculous reason Janis: yeah, I do Janis: the fact you don't is worrying Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: you should feel bad that you're thinking so much about him when you literally have a boyfriend Grace: but sure keeping telling yourself it's about you though, babes Grace: bet the barista loves that Janis: thinking so much about him? Janis: fuck you he literally publically shamed me, not to mention the fact he lied Janis: it is about me, no matter how many times you tell yourself otherwise Grace: he shouldn't have posted the pic, he feels bad about it Grace: & he got beat up so it's not like he hasn't suffered Grace: it's gone now Grace: obvs it's shaming when lads out you Grace: but not my fault or my problem Janis: no he doesn't, Grace Janis: and shames me for what? I haven't done anything wrong Janis: it's fucked he'd do it even if I had done what he claimed but I literally haven't so that's 10x worse than it already was Grace: whatever you say, babes Grace: literally didn't ask Grace: keep your protests for your man Janis: fuck this Janis: go ahead, they're already laughing so why not Grace: thanks so much Grace: didn't need your permission though, never have Janis: yeah, you're really showing me Janis: that's what it is then, yeah Janis: think I actually like him 💔 Grace: It couldn't be less about you Grace: & I know you don't like him Grace: I'm not that stupid Janis: as I said, not about you so Janis: give him all the attention 'cos I ain't rising to it Grace: I meant what I'm doing isn't about you, bitch Grace: not thinking about you at all rn Grace: sorry about it Janis: devestating Janis: I don't care, Grace Janis: sort yourself out, that's all I'm interested in Grace: obvs Grace: keep away from me, that's all I'm interested in Grace: there's no need for us to be having this convo Grace: or any Janis: there's every need Grace: no Grace: there isn't Janis: yes, there is Janis: this is fucked and you're a mess Grace: according to you that's me true to form Grace: so like I said, stop wasting your time & mine Janis: no Grace: ugh Grace: just go away Janis: again Janis: no Grace: what are you even trying to do? Grace: other than cluttering up my inbox just like before Janis: knock some sense into you Janis: everyone is laughing at you, Grace Janis: do you want me to send you the screenshots, and this is after one stupid picture Grace: yeah obvs I want that Grace: don't be stupid Janis: you need to know Janis: imagine how bad it's going to be at School Janis: it isn't worth it Grace: like I don't Grace: like it isn't really bad at school anyway Janis: so you need to make it worse Janis: hand them more ammunition Grace: I already told you, I told him not to post the pic, okay Grace: god Janis: why did you even talk to him Janis: never mind go meet him Grace: to get him to take the picture of you down, duh Grace: but then he talked to me so Janis: and told you what you want to hear Janis: you aren't an idiot, you know it's not true Grace: am I not? since when Grace: that's all I am to you Grace: you're the one telling me what you think I wanna hear rn Janis: this isn't about what's been said between us Janis: you know it isn't Janis: it's not real Grace: this is the first time you've spoken to me since then Grace: you don't get to go back on it like that Grace: that's not real Janis: you haven't spoken to me either Janis: it can all stand if you want, I told you, I don't care Janis: I told you, this isn't about you and me Grace: why do you think I haven't spoken to you, babes Grace: you don't care Grace: acting like you do so you can get what you want isn't gonna work Grace: awks I know Janis: what I want Janis: I have nothing to gain from this Janis: it's you that'll lose everyone's respect, never mind your own Grace: then literally stop talking to me about it OMG Grace: I can't lose what I never had, can I, hun? So whatever Janis: no Janis: come on, that shit matters to you Grace: you have no idea what matters to me Janis: and this is it, is it Janis: not your family or friends, your youtube, nothing like that Janis: this random dickhead who wants to fuck me Janis: that's the hill to live and die on Janis: very convincing Grace: he only wants to cos you won't Grace: if I turned down lads for that there'd be nobody left Janis: you could turn down lads for not having a shred of decency Grace: then who's left? Grace: your boyfriend Janis: plenty of lads Janis: they don't have to be perfect or the love of your life or anything reaching Janis: but you don't have to settle for being part of some stupid fucked up attention grab Grace: stop Janis: you need to hear this Grace: I don't need anything from you Grace: & I don't want to talk to you Janis: I don't care and it isn't from me Janis: it's facts, the truth Janis: you don't get to ignore it, you can't Grace: OMG Grace: I can't keep telling you that I can literally do whatever I want Grace: get over it Janis: why do you want to do this then Grace: why would I ever tell you Janis: you don't need to, I know why Janis: ask yourself, think about it Grace: sure Janis: just sort it out Janis: alright Grace: just leave me alone Grace: go back to that Janis: whatever you want Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: bye Janis: later Janis: [after the tattoo] Janis: get your friendship goals touched up whilst you were there too? Grace: obvs Grace: try to be home as little as possible ever duh Janis: sure Janis: if you're gonna make everyone as uncomfortable as you made Igs then probably for the best rn isn't it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: you're the only allowed to be OTT with your PDA in the kitchen, I know Janis: yeah, 'cos Iggy is such a prude Janis: more the fact your 'boyfriend' is a horrible person with no respect for you Janis: so yeah, that was nice, put him in that position 'cos you know Mum would never sign off on that Grace: there's no respect for me anywhere Grace: soooo tragic Grace: ugh, get a hobby babes Grace: he offered when Harry got all highkey about my touch up Grace: there was no drama Janis: you first Janis: namely one that doesn't include permanently scarring your body for people who don't care about you Janis: there is drama, you ain't here Grace: & now you care Grace: cos its my drama Grace: you couldn't care less about the amount you caused when you left Grace: honestly such a hypocrite Janis: I still don't Janis: it's you that does Janis: or has always claimed to Janis: so you'll be wanting to fix this Grace: mum knows how to get a hold of me if she wants to go off Grace: be even more hypocritical than you but anyways Janis: none of them want to go off on you Janis: much as that would vindicate you, clearly Janis: they're just really sad for you Grace: sure Grace: excuse me if I don't rush home for that Janis: you love a pity party Janis: and it's all for you, no sharing Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: well I'm busy so Janis: no you ain't Grace: rude Grace: & untrue Janis: you never are these days Janis: aimless Janis: again, sad Grace: go ahead & cry about it if you want, babes Janis: she already has, like Grace: stop trying to guilt me Grace: you're the literal worst Janis: it's nothing but the truth Grace: oh sure Grace: there's nothing to cry about Grace: unlike when you disappeared Janis: yeah, probably have that talk with ma Janis: she disagrees Janis: Ri's here, sure she'll bullet point their stance for you Grace: like I said, they know how to get hold of me Janis: do they Janis: 'cos it ain't connecting, is it Grace: ugh Grace: stop talking Janis: ugh Janis: start listening Janis: and thinking Grace: listening to what? Grace: everyone thinking I'm so stupid & so tragic Grace: why would I? Janis: reason, for one Grace: no thanks Janis: not an option Grace: you don't get to tell me my options so Janis: yeah, I do Janis: unless you're clinically braindead, it isn't an option Janis: again, just facts Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what is it Janis: not got enough attention yet Grace: I've had enough of yours Grace: but you never take the hint do you Janis: nah Janis: you ain't though Janis: you do know he's still messaging me, yeah Grace: how would I know that? Grace: I'm not going through his phone Grace: stalk much Janis: you should be Janis: highly doubt I'm the only one Janis: might want to check your friends whilst you're at it Janis: [screenshots 'cos duh] Grace: thanks yeah Janis: 👍 just doing my bit Grace: v appreciated obvs Janis: know it's not a shock but Janis: you going to dump him when you find out he's physically cheating too or is that all chill too Grace: but you had your 🤞 like Grace: so sorry I'm not 💔 Janis: yeah Janis: wouldn't hate snapping you out of this shit Grace: well I would so Janis: fairytale, is it? Janis: your family pitying you and worried to death, your friends all laughing behind your back whilst contemplating letting him get them on theirs Janis: the Gracie dream, yeah Janis: show me how right I had you pegged when I said all that shit I shouldn't have Janis: that's winning Grace: for you & the barista sure thing 💘💘💘 Grace: I don't get one Grace: & defs not with him Grace: so the fam can be as extra as they want & the girls can be as slaggy as they want Janis: this is self-imposed Janis: the martyr look doesn't suit Grace: IKR Grace: I'm exactly where I wanna be, babes Janis: no, you're not Janis: and no one is buying it Janis: not him Janis: not you Grace: it was his idea to get the tat not mine so Grace: he's obvs hating every moment Janis: nah, he's loving it Janis: the more needy he can make you look, the more points he gets Grace: good luck to the boy Janis: are you joking Janis: obviously Janis: you're aware how pathetic you look because you're doing it on purpose Janis: every post Janis: reading like satire but your audience don't know what that means Grace: sure Grace: this is literally so boring Grace: just make your point so someone else can have their turn Janis: ooh to have an inbox full of #concern Janis: keep it up Janis: might earn the intervention they never bothered having for edie Janis: that'll be nice for everyone Grace: 🤞🤞 Grace: I'll stop short of running away or trying meth though, obvs Janis: nothing #obvs about it Janis: more like her with every new boy and new ink Janis: it's uncanny, really Grace: oh please Janis: I mean it Grace: yeah, you always do Janis: what, you think you're better than her now? Grace: why can't I? you think you're better than me Grace: you didn't fuck him, well done Grace: I did & it was pretty good actually so Janis: fuck who you like Janis: don't marry them and let them treat you like shit for the world to see Grace: I wasn't planning on it but thanks for the tips Janis: you already are Janis: say to little too late but you were warned Grace: get a grip Grace: I am not Grace: we hang out & hook up it's not that deep Janis: you get matching tattoos and wax on about how goals he is like you've got something to prove Janis: not that deep Janis: you're exactly like her Janis: maybe that's what it is Janis: nice to fit in with the 'I don't fit in' crowd, yeah Janis: interesting Grace: OMG I told you that was his idea Grace: & it's how people talk Grace: I'm not like her Grace: shut up Janis: and you therefore HAD to do it Janis: you know, reckon Da's probably a bit TOO nice Janis: can still make a case for why it's okay to have all these daddy issues Janis: the real #goals Grace: seriously STOP it Janis: you Grace: it's not about dad or you or Edie Grace: god Grace: why does it have to be about everyone else Janis: that's what I'm telling you Janis: it's all about you Grace: then stop talking about them Grace: you said that you never get to have anything, that you just wanted one thing Grace: him Grace: why can't I? Grace: why can't I just do something cos I want to Janis: 'cos it's a fucked thing to want Janis: Eds really wanted to do meth and whatever she wanted all the time and guess what Janis: they all let her and she ended up fucked up and then dead Janis: family doesn't let family do that Grace: like you said, they did Janis: like I've said, they were bad parents Janis: I reckon they still are but you can disagree Grace: & you're a bad sister Grace: so am I Janis: Undoubtedly Grace: literally then what does it matter Grace: we're not a family Janis: we are Janis: like it or not Grace: no, we're not Grace: it's too late to act like it now Grace: & you're not a part of it even if we all did Janis: you ain't dead yet Janis: and I am, sorry Grace: I fucking thought you were Grace: do you know that Janis: how would I Janis: you've not spoken to me Grace: cos I can't Janis: you haven't tried Grace: bitch I've tried for years Grace: you don't want to be my sister Grace: you don't even want to be in the same room as me Janis: as I said, we unavoidably are Grace: that literally makes it worse not better Janis: do you want me to apologize for being born? Grace: I want you to stop being such a bitch all the time but it's obvs not ever happening Janis: so you do Janis: alright Janis: I'm really sorry for being born, Grace Grace: apology not accepted, babes Grace: you weren't born like this Janis: neither were you Janis: but I'm not asking you to be sorry Janis: just do better Grace: ugh here we go Grace: every convo is about how much I need to change or do better Grace: you think mum and dad are shit, doesn't mean you have to do their job, hun Janis: clearly, it does Janis: and this one, and most of them actually, is about how you need to not let people treat you like shit Grace: sure Grace: except when it's you Grace: that just needs to happen Janis: can't pick your family Janis: you treat me just as bad Janis: but as I said, don't care if we never talk again Grace: I literally do not Grace: but whatever, if you don't care, go away Grace: I'm not doing this with you, I told you before Janis: sort it out and I will Grace: there's nothing to sort out Janis: not true Grace: true as far as what you want me to do Janis: no Grace: I'm too busy for this Janis: still no Grace: just shut up OMG Janis: no Grace: Janis, seriously Grace: talking to you is like Gus & Diego on their worst days Grace: stop Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: You're the one who doesn't seem to grasp the point here Janis: no Janis: non Janis: nein Janis: nyet Janis: etc Grace: grow up Janis: see above Grace: fine I'll mute you again Grace: have fun Grace: go off Janis: aw Janis: grow up Grace: I'm not the one being childish af Grace: you wish Janis: better than what you are being Janis: so yeah Grace: I'm so sure Grace: whatever Grace: like I said, have fun being ignored Janis: from what you reckon, I won't Janis: but you already knew that Grace: from what everyone reckons, you don't care Grace: you included Grace: honestly over it Grace: that's why I haven't tried Grace: you're literally exhausting Grace: get more back from a convo with any of the cats Janis: Nah, you aren't trying because you don't wanna hear this Janis: at least be honest Grace: I don't wanna hear every mean thought that you have about me Grace: I'm not trying cos you're such a bitch Janis: I've not said anything mean about you this entire time Grace: comparing me to her is a horrible thing to do Janis: only because you think she was a bad person or something Grace: yeah I do Janis: how's that working out for you Janis: we're all so horrible and mean and wrong Janis: does it help Janis: don't think so Grace: obvs not Grace: but she still was & you still are Janis: and what does that make you then Grace: I'm the worse, duh Grace: you've already listed all my flaws off enough times babe Grace: can't not listen to that Janis: so, you are like her Janis: what's the problem Grace: according to you yeah Janis: according to yourself Janis: sit here and tell me you think any differently Janis: if you did you wouldn't let him treat you like this, or them, and then we wouldn't need to have this conversation Grace: Not liking myself doesn't make me her, she doesn't own it Janis: like her Janis: and yes it does Grace: no it doesn't Grace: it's different Janis: how? Grace: it's not about dad for me, for one thing Grace: & my boyfriend is nothing like any of hers Grace: he's not even my boyfriend anyway Janis: what difference does that make Janis: it's all excuses Janis: she didn't like herself and looked in all the wrong places for validation Janis: you do exactly the same Grace: whatever Grace: you've got your heart set on us being so alike, enjoy it babes Janis: no Janis: like I said Janis: it's really sad Grace: not for you, you don't have any feelings about anything ever Grace: just your barista boyfriend Grace: so leave me alone Janis: yeah? Janis: if that makes you feel better, have it on me Grace: it literally makes me feel worse Grace: every time I try & talk to you for you just to say you don't care Grace: but that's how it is, babes so Janis: like I said, you aren't dense Janis: so don't act like you reckon I'd be bothering if I didn't care Grace: you don't care about me Grace: it's not about me, yeah? Grace: I'm so cringe that's as far as you're bothered Grace: Mum's so sad & Rio's actually shown her face for the first time since when Janis: Jesus Janis: firstly, no one BUT you is describing anything as cringe, ever Janis: and secondly, yeah Janis: give a shit about them if you don't me Grace: I do Grace: It was me there when you left & mum and dad were freaking out Grace: taking all the blame for being a bitch so they don't have to hear that you couldn't care less how they feel ever Grace: & you don't wanna be here Janis: so Janis: come sort this then Grace: how Grace: I can't wash the tattoo off Janis: tell them you'll stop seeing him and then do it Janis: for a start Janis: it ain't that deep so what do you care Janis: you care about them, don't you? Janis: prove it Grace: you know what he's like Grace: I can't just stop Grace: he could do worse to me than he's ever done to you Janis: he won't Grace: I don't have another boy waiting to beat him up for me Janis: I'll do it Grace: UM be serious Janis: I am Grace: I would actually have to die Grace: like I need you to fight my battles for me Janis: okay then do it yourself Janis: you don't need a lad to Janis: he's a pussy Grace: you don't Grace: I do Grace: I can't fight anyone Janis: he's not that much of a cunt, he's not gonna fight back Grace: OMG stop I'm not fighting him Grace: this is stupid Janis: I will then Janis: you can't stop me anyways so Grace: can you not Grace: literally just don't Janis: then don't let it come to that Janis: you're not staying because you know what he's like, that's insanity Grace: like its not insanity to dump someone the day you get a matching tattoo with them Grace: okay sure Janis: that's gonna be insanity no matter when you do it Janis: it looks stupid if you get divorced after 25 years Grace: ugh Grace: I'll just stay until he cheats on me then Janis: no that's worse Janis: can't you put one of your friends to use Janis: honeytrap him Janis: they get to pretend to be a decent friend, you have an excuse and you don't look like a fool because you were in on it Grace: okay that's actually not a bad idea Janis: thank you Janis: you have my screenshots so you don't even look paranoid Janis: he isn't subtle or slick so Grace: did he say anything about me? Janis: it doesn't matter what he said, or says Janis: it's all just a game to him, isn't it Grace: you've said everything else you think I need to hear Grace: just tell me, okay Janis: he was just Janis: you know, what you'd expect he'd think I wanted to hear Janis: he's an idiot Grace: duh he obvs slagged me off but what did he say Grace: I need to know Janis: okay Janis: mainly how he was just doing it to make me jealous back and Janis: for an excuse to be around me still Janis: talk about pathetic lengths to go to Janis: but that's the fun for boys like that ain't it, the chase Janis: like you said, if and once I did it we'd both be out so Janis: don't worry about it, like Grace: ew Grace: dad made him dinner and everything that's so rude Grace: did he say I was a crap shag cos that's really not true Grace: & I will have to fight him when I'm done dying Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sorry but Janis: priorities Grace: did he though Grace: it's more important Grace: I already know he wants to hook up with you, that's not news Grace: !!! Janis: 'course he did Janis: anything to get my pants off Janis: it was almost funny how hard he was trying Grace: I'm not laughing but you do you, babe Janis: well no Janis: who knows what he meant or didn't Janis: it's all bollocks Grace: that he's gonna tell everyone & they are gonna believe Grace: he's a player & I'm a slut it doesn't matter what I do Janis: he won't Janis: 'cause you're gonna catch him out so he's just a cheater then Janis: can't defend that and tear you down Grace: but who am I even gonna ask to do this Grace: literally kill me before I ask Mia Grace: I'm actually gonna be sick thinking about it Janis: definitely not Mia Janis: take the assignment too serious and bae him herself Janis: you need him gone not on the guest list Janis: who's the least shit Grace: she can have him & his shit tattoo ideas Grace: but yeah I'll figure it out Janis: get Sophie to do it Janis: she would and wouldn't be a sly bitch about it either Grace: do you think she would, like seriously? Janis: 'course Grace: ugh okay Grace: do you want me to add you to the convo? it was your idea Janis: that's alright, you've got this Janis: just make him look like the shit he is Grace: duh Grace: thanks Grace: for like Grace: thinking of something Janis: been known to happen sometimes Janis: don't mention it Grace: I really did start talking to him to try & get him to take the picture down Grace: that wasn't a lie Janis: it's alright Janis: you aren't the only one who believed him Janis: I did mess around with him for quite a while Janis: but not as far as he said and not since Jim so Grace: well duh he does have some uses obvs Grace: if he was this cocky with nothing going on nobody would go there Grace: I knew you'd never cheat on barista boy it's ridiculous how much you're into him Grace: just like I knew you were a virgin, excuse you Janis: not good enough to warrant how much of a prick he is Janis: okay, we're done talking about that now Grace: boys are Grace: that's just 99% Grace: if I'd waited for the 1% like you, I'd still be Janis: stop tarring all lads with that brush when you only ever go for that one type Janis: you act like that's such a tragedy, we're 15, over half our year still is Janis: it ain't the norm to be in double digits like Mia Grace: cos I know where I am with that type thank you Grace: & if I have to tell you how good sex is, you're doing it wrong, babes Janis: 🙄 Janis: you could go fuck yourself, literally Janis: like I said, he ain't that good Grace: that's so pre-teen Grace: but if the choice is him or going back to that then sure Janis: yeah no one over the age of 12 wanks Grace: I'm just saying, it's more fun with someone else Grace: you're lying if you disagree Janis: depends on the person Grace: maybe I'm just bored of myself Grace: idk Janis: yeah Janis: well good luck Grace: thanks Grace: I better go home before I do anything 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: joy of joys Janis: least you have something to tell them Grace: did she really cry or did you just wanna hurt me Janis: she did Janis: but it's just about all of us really Janis: like you said, we're not a family anymore Grace: can you remember if we ever were? Grace: I don't think I can Grace: genuinely Grace: not trying to be a bitch Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Grace: ugh obvs he wants to come home with me Grace: please tell him you aren't there 🙄 Janis: are you serious Janis: god Grace: duh Grace: I've been at his this whole time Janis: how have you managed that Grace: not as stupid as you think Grace: & it's not like planned to dump him today so Janis: yeah but are you a psycho how have you sat there with him after hearing all that Grace: I obvs made him go out and get... I can't even remember what now Grace: when you wouldn't take I'm busy for an answer Janis: good Grace: except now he's back Grace: call me & pretend to be mum Grace: you love shouting at me Janis: alright 👍 Grace: thank god boys never notice literally anything Janis: he's quite thick Janis: too many rugby balls to the head Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: is he actually any good? Grace: you'd know Janis: yeah Janis: ain't gonna play for the country or nothing but could probably cruise through a shit uni with it Janis: that's the plan, obvs Grace: Bitch you could've lied! Grace: 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: it doesn't make him a good boyfriend Grace: yeah but I'm not going to uni, am I? Janis: you could Janis: do you want to Grace: oh please Grace: I'd never get in Janis: 'course you could Janis: not saying you try for Oxford or nothing Grace: just not that smart, babes Grace: get over it Grace: I don't get to be like Edie that way Janis: okay, will do Janis: pick up your phone Grace: [does] Grace: 👌 v convincing Grace: I'm out Janis: �� stuff Janis: you're welcome Grace: IOU Janis: if you wanna, just be happy to see the back of him Grace: whatever Grace: your choice, hun Janis: no doubt if I think of something worth it I'll remember this Grace: sure Janis: talked to Soph yet? Grace: she'll do it Grace: she just got back to me Janis: no doubt be really into that if he realizes we're related Janis: ugh Grace: ew Grace: but yeah Grace: & she's a virgin too so Janis: doublepoints Grace: catch me wishing I was gay again Grace: ugh Janis: true enough, girls aren't as interested in virgins Janis: give you that Grace: boys are OBSESSED Grace: it's so stupid Janis: hoping inexperience covers insecurity in skill Grace: there's literally nothing hot about the freak outs I had when the first few times, sorry about it, boys Grace: but you do you Janis: were you really that scared Grace: duh Grace: I still get them now Grace: I'm just better at hiding it thank god Janis: why Janis: I mean Janis: what freaks you out so so much Grace: I told you, boys are the WORST Grace: they want you to look, sound & feel like a porn star all the time Grace: it's a lot Janis: I've seen the lads you've slept with Janis: they ain't putting in or needing that much effort in return Grace: they don't have to Grace: who's judging them Grace: they get patted on the back just for hooking up Janis: you Janis: there's only you and them actually there during Janis: presumably Janis: why should they not try and impress you too Grace: cos if they disappoint me, they'll try again with someone else Grace: & so will I Janis: exactly, nothing lost Grace: I wish Grace: how they rate me can lose me plenty Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what about how you rate them, like you said Janis: no one is going there if you get that rep Grace: it's not the same Grace: cos I can be clingy or desperate or a slut or anything else negative they want to cancel out what I might say Janis: idk why you're sleeping with dickheads like that Grace: like I said, I know where I am with them Grace: what they want from me & what they don't Janis: doesn't sound very good Grace: it is what it is Janis: but if its shit and it freaks you out ??? Grace: you told me not to tar them all the same so Grace: it depends on the boy Grace: & me freaking out depends on me Grace: it's like shopping or filming or school or whatever Janis: alright then Janis: guess so Grace: if I'm not #feelingmyself 🙄 then I'm not Grace: can't shade the boys for it Janis: yeah but not gonna sit here and saint 'em unduly either Grace: 😂😂 literally don't Grace: exes for a reason, babes Janis: mhmm Janis: how do you Janis: he's not even a proper ex and it makes my skin crawl that I ever Janis: ugh Grace: like you said, I don't get to martyr myself Janis: but it's Grace: ?? Janis: I wish I'd never done it Grace: obvs Grace: I wish I'd never done him either Grace: at least you didn't Janis: you didn't waste much time though Janis: it must've been years Grace: we hooked up a lot though Grace: & I'm not getting any of my time back Janis: didn't need to know Grace: 🤷 Janis: gross Grace: DUH Grace: I literally wanna throw myself in traffic Janis: probably don't Janis: you want Ma to stop crying, remember Grace: IKR Grace: so unfair Grace: but sure I'll 😭😭😭 instead Grace: it's chill Janis: not over him Janis: you didn't like him did you Grace: ew no Grace: I'm not crying over him Grace: just me Janis: I guess you know where you stand with that too Grace: mhmm Grace: the white girl tattoo is a new thing to devastate me though Janis: at least it ain't your first Janis: or his name or something Janis: then you really would have to die Grace: OMG DON'T 😱😱😱 Grace: he'd have never let me though Grace: not that into me Janis: shoulda faked that Janis: he'd have shat himself Grace: now you tell me Grace: 💔💔 too little too late bitch Janis: nah, you could defs amp it up whilst soph is working on him Grace: true Janis: 😂 instead of 😭 Grace: already did the 😭 but sure Grace: let's pretend I didn't Grace: he didn't see it so it didn't happen Janis: I didn't either so Janis: no harm no foul Grace: 👌👌 Grace: are you gonna beat me up cos you don't get to hit him or? Janis: I can still hit him, unrelated to this Janis: he still fucked me over Janis: tried to Grace: yeah Grace: but it has been a while now babes Grace: not saying get over it but like Grace: maybe don't just randomly hit him?? Janis: we'll see Grace: how do you Grace: like I could never hit him Janis: it ain't that hard, I promise Janis: make a fist, and swing, try not to break your hand 'cos that'd be embarrassing Grace: or a nail OMG he's not worth that thanks Grace: & okay but hit him hard though, if you're going to Janis: 😏 Janis: 'course, not planning on tickling him Grace: or letting your boyfriend do it better, duh Grace: I know Janis: look, I can't help being so hard, alright Grace: 😂😂 Janis: do you reckon he'll get the hint this time Grace: maybe when you fight him Janis: yeah Janis: 'cos don't need to hide on the coach every time we have to play their school really Janis: or have all the girls from this school 🔪🔪🔪 Grace: get a restraining order, what else is Buster even good for tbh Janis: 😂😂 Janis: bring it up with Ri when you talk to her, yeah? Grace: oh god Grace: do you think she'll still be there Grace: actually worse than mum Janis: she ain't leaving, she's on one about this tattoo Janis: which is hypocritical but I probably wouldn't start with pointing that out Grace: I won't mention his name on her, like Grace: we get it you're 💍 Janis: you know she won't hear it Janis: they're special, can do what they like Janis: namely each other Grace: gross Grace: I won't point out that I also didn't do it the night we met, mum & dad Grace: you were at school together sure that does not count Janis: 🙄 Janis: and you wanna say I weren't born like this Janis: mess 'fore any of us got here Janis: no hope, babe Grace: I'll use that for my excuse when Ri starts then, yeah? Grace: just come & kill me thanks Janis: she's lucky her kids don't have webbed feet so Janis: bigger problems Janis: get some perspective, sis Janis: definitely traumatizing how often we all heard and saw 'em so kinda her fault, why not eh Grace: is that a thing? 😱😱😱 little like 🦆 babies Grace: awkward Janis: mhmm Janis: all sorts can go wrong Janis: its why the royal family look so weird, they're inbred as fuck Grace: I hate this family so much Grace: ugh Grace: & why do we have to live so far away Grace: just trying to get home OMG Janis: same, I been preaching since day 1 Janis: free house, tah gus snr Grace: 🙏🙏 okay you can be right about it if you hush Grace: v annoying Grace: having good ideas & not being wrong Grace: ew Janis: I know Janis: good at everything and you hate me for it, I remember it's all good Grace: yeah Grace: I'm sorry for the girl code violation though Grace: sooooooo rude Janis: least I didn't actually like him Janis: have to flagellate yourself or something Grace: that'd be okay, Mia takes boys I like all the time Grace: what he did to you was like Grace: & it makes what I did worse so Janis: she just needs to drink their blood, probably nothing personal Janis: and you know, you hate me, got no reason to stick to girl code when you don't for your besties even Grace: but I don't wanna be a bad sister Grace: or like her Grace: even if I do hate you Grace: cos I do stick to girl code, it's Mia who doesn't cos she believes she's a law onto herself Janis: be a good one then, if you must Janis: the others will probably appreciate, I'll try to keep complaints to a minimum Grace: what's that for you though, like don't fuck your boyfriend or straighten your hair? idk Janis: neither of those are ever happening so Janis: yeah Janis: how straightforward is that Janis: you're welcome Grace: thanks so much Grace: good talk, babes Grace: you're okay, you & him Janis: 👍 Janis: leave us the review, some people still don't believe it Grace: I mean, are you? Grace: that wouldn't be my review & you know it, bitch Janis: bit rude Janis: 'course, why wouldn't we be Grace: cos an obsessive fuckboy is literally still in your inbox daily? Grace: just maybe Janis: not like I sit there and chat w him Janis: just tell him to fuck off, more or less Grace: 👌👌 Grace: it'd just be the worst if he'd ruined it, that's all I'm saying Janis: no chance Janis: like you said, been a while Janis: and Jim always believed me so Grace: how is he so cute & so not also a twat Grace: literally never happens Janis: I dunno Janis: he's a bit of a twat Janis: works 'cos I'm such a bitch Grace: oh & I'm a worst bitch so I attract worst twats OMG Grace: I've solved it Grace: maybe I'm not thick Janis: maybe Janis: pretty solid theory Grace: won't get me into uni but still yay Janis: I mean it's just Newton's third law but in relationships, init, don't think you're getting that past plagiarism as your own Grace: but is there any way I can hit up one of my exes tonight & get it past Harry? Grace: you're full of good ideas Janis: say you want a threesome and then make him watch from the wardrobe Janis: idk Grace: sadly none of my exes are girls so I don't think he'd be into it Janis: leave that bit out Grace: also lowkey don't want him to watch me or look at me ever again but Janis: shouldn't be hard actually though Janis: just pie him off and have someone else 'round Janis: you have so much homework, you got your period etc he's not gonna insist Grace: the period thing always works Grace: but it's more can any of my exes keep me off snapchat cos he didn't & that worked out SO great Janis: unless he's that dirty of a bastard and that's an awkward way to find out Janis: oh to be a teenage boy who needs to prove he's getting laid Janis: can't you hookup with a random instead Janis: what the apps are for Grace: I'm trying to feel better not worse Grace: that's just asking for me to freakout Janis: hmm Janis: glory hole it is then Grace: you're so gross Grace: & weird Janis: it's been said Janis: by you, a lot Janis: could keep the pillow over your face but fucked yourself with the tats haven't you Grace: STOP Janis: I'm brainstorming Grace: can you not in your head? Grace: & I'm the dumb one okay Janis: just getting your input, babe Janis: surely one of your exes can keep a secret Grace: I'm 🤔🤔 Grace: but when they're all lowkey or highkey versions of the same boy well Janis: oh lord Janis: just have a wank okay Janis: so much easier Grace: yeah really wanna be alone with myself Grace: love that Janis: sure you and your mates don't circle jerk Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: like no Mia YOU look most like you're dying Grace: shut up Janis: 😩🍆👌😩 Grace: I hate you Janis: yeah Janis: I know Grace: how did I get here? Grace: & I don't mean this bus stop which is a hell of its own making Grace: ugh Janis: shit happens Grace: I'm so calling one of my intervention team to come get me Grace: public transport brings out my acne Janis: may as well Janis: use the attention to your advantage Grace: is dad there? Grace: he'll do it Janis: yeah Janis: can ask him if you want Grace: sure Grace: but why are you there? Grace: you never are Janis: oh yeah, he's actually left me and taken the kids Janis: got to move back in disgraced Grace: v hilarious babes Janis: glad my tragedy got you like that Janis: just happen to be about Grace: is your boyfriend Grace: cos if he witnesses my lecture Grace: how embarrassing Janis: he's seen the post babe Janis: damage done Janis: but won't let him watch, don't worry Grace: but he hasn't heard Ri moming me & being soooo disappointed Janis: we're in my room, you know,not thick enough or a total virgin, to let him 'round her Janis: rule #1 Grace: ugh truly Grace: mum's bad enough Grace: I fucking hate yoga okay Janis: may as well be cracking out the kama sutra on the lawn Janis: it's not sneaky, ma Janis: we get it, you've got 10 kids, you get laid Grace: & you still look good somehow 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: all the fucking obvs Grace: when I have a kid there's no way I'm springing back Grace: I don't go to the gym for like a day & it's like I was never there Janis: let yourself go, way God intended Grace: maybe I will now Grace: then he'll dump me I don't have to get Soph involved Janis: we'd have to put a feeding tube down your throat for them kinda results Janis: effort Grace: oh please Janis: what, how else you getting fat overnight Grace: like I don't know how to binge Grace: get real Janis: you aren't gonna eat 15lbs worth of chocolate in a night Janis: you'd go into a coma before you got fat, sadly Grace: it doesn't have to be overnight, the period excuse is good for days Grace: I've used it more often than I really get mine Janis: you also wanna get laid in that time Janis: you gonna make your ex stop off at maccies on the way 'round Grace: we already worked out my exes are a no-go Grace: unless I wanna be the cheater Janis: 👎 Janis: just stick with the burgers, like Janis: dependable Grace: obvs Janis: get us some nuggets Grace: you're making me hungry rn don't Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: eat up Janis: got loads to put on Grace: ughhhhhhh Grace: as if Mia isn't gonna be enough of a bitch about this Grace: no thanks Janis: when is she not Janis: be a bitch about you wearing a different shade of lipstick so Grace: mhmm Grace: but obvs she like LOVES me & him as a couple Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: duh Janis: she couldn't have masterminded it better herself Janis: though she tried Grace: so over it Janis: mhmm Grace: I need to break up with her too Grace: but him first Janis: just don't keep going back to him like you do her Grace: don't keep making me hate you Janis: what? Grace: you left Grace: that's why I went back Janis: okay so it's my fault Grace: no, cos it's my fault you ran away Grace: she just knows when I feel bad idk Janis: it's her lifeblood Grace: yeah Janis: have her and the other skinny one got a death pact though actually Grace: the goal isn't death Grace: she'd actually love to live forever duh Janis: I bet they egg each other on though Grace: obvs Grace: she does that with all of us Janis: it's fucked Janis: some of the rest are bitches too but none are as bad as her Grace: that's why she's 👑 babes 🙄🙄 Janis: 🙄 Grace: I just don't eat in front of her & avoid the shade, that part's easy Janis: ever? Grace: of course ever Janis: what about sleepovers Grace: like when she's asleep maybe Janis: actual midnight snacking Janis: that's mental Grace: lowkey motivating Grace: never been so thin 🙏 Janis: fucked, is what it is Grace: not like it's the most fucked thing about being in her squad Grace: like you said, she's the WORST Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: yep Grace: & if I'm worried about what a 💔 boy could do to me Grace: it's literally nothing compared to what she could or would Janis: you know her secrets too though Grace: I'm not that bitch Grace: I don't wanna be Janis: nah but just saying Grace: that's the thing though, she knows I'm not Grace: like he does Grace: ugh Janis: sometimes you have to Grace: I can't Grace: I'm not strong like you are Janis: sometimes it's the right thing to do Janis: don't have to smack her down Janis: though it would be class Grace: you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: where does it end Janis: what's your limit Janis: she can't cheat on you but she's done much worse already Grace: maybe I don't have one idk Grace: too done with myself Grace: it's not like I don't deserve friends like that so Janis: no one deserves friends like that Janis: they aren't even friends it's a stupid thing to call them Grace: I'm not calling them frenemies or whatever Grace: I'm not 12 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: it's just shorthand anyway, like I call him bae but he isn't Grace: they're my boyfriend but none of them are, same difference Janis: call 'em what they are Janis: cunts Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: right, Dad is en-route, had to finish whatever the fuck he was making as per Grace: sure Grace: at least I can have some Janis: probably made Ri's fave 'cos he's blatant Grace: well duh Grace: does he even know what our faves are? 🤔🤔 hmmm? see you dad Janis: tbf you ain't eating and when you do it's gotta be #whitegirlsafe so Janis: pains him greatly, I'm sure 😏 Grace: UM excuse you no Grace: that's just how I drink Grace: & I can't help that okay Janis: 😂 Grace: maybe I'll just strut in & start making cocktails Grace: that's a mood Janis: yeah 'cos Ri ain't gonna take over and show-off her skills on that one too Grace: distraction duh Janis: worth a shot Janis: good news anyway though Grace: has she left cos that'd be the BEST news 🙏🙏🙏 Janis: nope Janis: last I heard he was on the phone though so who knows Janis: if anyone can convince her to piss off Grace: booty call or babysitting emergency, either way, come through please Janis: 🤞 Janis: not sticking around to find out, tah Grace: he'll probably just come over & dad at me too like Grace: thanks so much boy bye Janis: 😂 Janis: like they ain't only 7 years older Janis: just 'cos you popped out kids, don't make you grown Janis: @maandpa Grace: & just cos he put a 💍 on it doesn't make you ULTIMATE GOALS Grace: ugh Janis: 🙄 Janis: shame there's no hot cousins left Janis: do it just to fuck 'em off Janis: you ain't special, lads, soz Grace: ewww Grace: I'm so sick of her & mum acting like they don't have the worst taste in men just cos they found one who stayed around OMG Grace: actually stop judging me Janis: and did dad really stick around or did you trap him 🤔🤔 Grace: truly Grace: we can all get pregnant okay Janis: I better not be able to tah Janis: not having that thing shoved up there for nowt Grace: but like technically Grace: if we weren't on all the conception on earth Janis: maybe none of us since Billie are actually his Janis: she just got way better at cheating #keepitblack Grace: maybe you're not but I literally look like avó soooooooo 🤷🤷 Grace: love what she's done for the bi stereotype though Janis: can that happen Janis: like cat litters Janis: Iggy is his clone so that's another one for him Janis: get in, boy Grace: Diego's on my team too tbh so Janis: done alright then Janis: I just look like if nan got a tan and a perm so deffo none of him to be seen Grace: 😂😂 Grace: that's why you're her fave, babes Janis: right? Janis: both such self-obsessed bitches Grace: & you just wanna hit everyone obvs Grace: loves that Janis: alright, just 'cos I said you're like Edie Janis: drag me Grace: duh Grace: never over it Janis: worked though Grace: I seriously hate you Grace: 👌👌 Grace: you also said you want me to die & I'm still here, bitch Grace: sorry about it Janis: can't win 'em all Janis: even if you're me shh don't tell Grace: literally gonna broadcast it, bye Janis: don't think peeps will believe you but never know Janis: very ready to believe I was a massive slag Grace: honey, nobody ever believes me Grace: it's fine Janis: guilty by association Grace: at least you aren't actually a massive slag Janis: 🙌🙏 Janis: still getting into heaven Grace: duh Jesus loves you, babes Grace: his foot fetish might be devastated that you aren't a slag though Janis: 💔 our lord and saviour is all in a days work for me Grace: just tell him to wait for me Grace: I've got your back, girl Janis: 👌 appreciate it Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: you'll be glad to know we're off out so less audience 👍 Grace: 🙌🙏 Grace: are you coming back though? Janis: most likely Janis: his dad still hates me so Grace: family dinner didn't change his mind? how rude Grace: I told you to play the race card babes Janis: nah that never happened Grace: awks Grace: did he get dumped? Janis: probably Janis: I wouldn't go out with him if I were a lady of a certain age Grace: so I shouldn't hit him up tonight Grace: tragic but sure Janis: 🤢 Janis: not unless you want your daddy issues to get real Grace: OMG I don't have any Grace: stop saying it Janis: calm down 😂 Janis: you who wanna pipe Jimmy's dad all of a sudden Janis: not his winning personality, I promise you Grace: I've literally never seen him Grace: not that slaggy thank you Janis: 😏 ain't missing much Grace: & with a son like that Grace: awks Janis: Hmm Janis: I know Grace: 💔💔💔 Janis: that's the gist Janis: sure you ain't met him? Grace: men are just grown boys, babe Grace: of course I have Janis: okay you and your infinite boy wisdom 😏 Grace: ugh I wish Grace: me & my infinite boy regrets Janis: 💔 Janis: could be worse Janis: could be pregnant Grace: oh please Grace: not that stupid Janis: please don't Janis: always surrounded by fucking kids as is Grace: I'd kms before I had his baby thanks Janis: 👍 Grace: whatever Grace: I'm done thinking or talking about him Janis: sounds good to me Janis: later then yeah Grace: 👌👌 sure Grace: have fun Grace: I obvs will be living for this intervention so Grace: & I'll tell my exes you say 👋 too Janis: 'course Janis: fill in the appropriate name 'cos all the same Grace: I won't say it too highkey so they don't hit up your inbox as well Grace: v popular these days Janis: 😂 Janis: gutted Janis: such catches, each and every one Grace: mhmm Grace: why I don't need the competition from you duh Grace: already so many girls coming through Janis: yeah, and gotta hang on to Janis: kyle you dumped 3 months ago Janis: obvs Grace: exactly Grace: where are you going? pass my number out to the hottest & worst behaved, yeah? Janis: nowhere you'd be seen dead, I'm sure Janis: but you changing type now? so proud 💕 Grace: my type are everywhere, babes Grace: no need to change Grace: but ILY 💜💜 Janis: I meant they'd never been hot but Janis: backatcha ✌ out 😘 Grace: UM rude Grace: they at least had that going for them Grace: excuse you for stealing the best looking boy in our school for yourself Janis: 😂 Grace: not funny Grace: actually v offensive Janis: take it up with him Janis: not actually kidnapped him, believe it or not Grace: I've had enough rejection for one day thanks so much Janis: I mean Janis: actual rejection was ages ago really babe Grace: IS THAT MEANT TO BE COMFORTING Grace: & my exes are rn so Janis: comforting or rejecting Grace: rejecting obvs Grace: when have they ever been comforting? please Janis: damn they all actually got girlfriends rn Janis: inconsiderate Grace: not even Grace: I'm just that undesirable Janis: probably let yourself calm down first Janis: you'll be coming off batshit rn Grace: mhmm really calming going home to whatever this is Grace: dad is literally being so Grace: just drive OMG Janis: I hate it when he talks Grace: there's no english Grace: I really am getting a talk Janis: 🙄 Janis: just pretend you don't understand Janis: that really winds him up Grace: does the entire fam think this boy is the love of my life or just dad? Grace: ughhhh Janis: I mean we know his concept is a little outta whack Janis: but you did just get matching tattoos so Grace: that'll last like 6 months at most Grace: I didn't put it over my heart, did I? Janis: probably assuming the boy was meant to last at least as long then Grace: 😂😂 Grace: maybe he's forgotten which daughter I am Grace: he lasted longer than 6 days sure but Janis: only you know why but Janis: 👏 Grace: you said you know Grace: was that like a shameless lie Janis: I got my theories, duh Grace: take Em to Di, always some conspiracy with that boy Grace: *them Janis: or you could just 🗣 Grace: what does that even mean?? Janis: tell me Grace: you've got somewhere to be & so have I so Janis: 🤷 Janis: okay Grace: I'm literally talking to you now cos its this or dad Grace: no offense Janis: none taken Grace: 👌👌 Janis: we all would Grace: talk to anyone but dad Grace: yeah sure Janis: anyone is a stretch but you know Grace: not v much Grace: literally idk what to even say to him Grace: any of them Janis: what they wanna hear Grace: you make it sound so simple Janis: it is Janis: you're not with him no more Janis: you never were Janis: you were just hyperbolic on social media 'cos ?? Grace: yeah okay Grace: I can do that Janis: exactly Janis: just get off the defensive, let 'em lecture you, it'll be over quicker Grace: & if I cry Ri can't be that mad at me Grace: it's fine Janis: you'd know if that works Janis: always assumed so or why bother Grace: it works on like everyone Grace: teachers even Janis: yeah, know that Janis: skiver Grace: says you Grace: you literally never go to lessons anymore Janis: well I'm allowed, they were talking about me Janis: bit of a cheek, get your own scandals Grace: well I have now Grace: you're welcome Janis: you've piggybacked off my latest but um Janis: go off Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 😏 Grace: can I like ask you something without you being so weird about it or? Janis: charming proposal as always Janis: but go on Grace: you said you're going nowhere I'd be seen dead which means none of them would obvs Grace: so like where can I go if I don't want them to find me Janis: and stayinghome is out of the question, yeah Grace: obvs Janis: Hmm Janis: idk Janis: any pub Janis: lbr Grace: except one 🙄🙄 I don't need nan & granddad coming at me with their opinions Janis: well no Janis: it's a big enough town, you can probably still do something you'd wanna and not see them Grace: yeah Janis: can't really do it with a place in mind, if that's what you're asking Janis: you just have to go Grace: okay Janis: but you gotta work out if away is worse 'cos tbh you'd probably have a shit time in some dive so it ain't a cure-all Grace: duh Grace: but its not as if anywhere that isn't is gonna let me in Janis: 🤷 sorry Janis: you've said many times, I don't have no hobbies Janis: probably not the erson to ask Janis: p Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: can't you just stay home Janis: do your nails, take a bath, all that shit you usually do Grace: sure Grace: but I don't want to Janis: what do you wanna do then Grace: not be alone Grace: not be me for a hot sec Grace: idk Janis: get white girl wasted then Grace: 😂😂 Grace: thanks babes Janis: well that'll do the trick Grace: lowkey already the plan but glad it's endorsed Grace: love that Janis: could be worse, could be meth Grace: if I can't handle spirits I'm not going to do well on hard drugs Grace: sorry I can't go that hard with my comparison for you Janis: 💔 Grace: v tragic Janis: truly Grace: I have to go get lectured now so you do you Janis: 👌 Janis: enjoy Grace: 👌👌

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Rio & Nancy

Rio: You know Rio: If you like, I could sleep with Mr. Tomlinson Rio: Take the heat and shine off you all in one, just ask Nancy: It's a kind offer Nancy: But it's not gonna fix any of the important stuff Nancy: And it's not like you deserve any of what would come from that unholy union Rio: Okay, you could give me names of the worst offenders and I'll sort them out Rio: not in similar fashion to teach, of course Rio: How are you really though, babe? Stupid question but gotta come Nancy: You can't take on half the school, Rio Nancy: If it was that easy I'd still be in London Nancy: Maybe it's a stupid question but I've only got an obvious answer so Rio: Sure I can Rio: Ain't my first rodeo Rio: Is there anything of actual use I can do to make everything not totally shit or? Nancy: Don't be nice to me Nancy: I can't handle it Nancy: And I just re-applied my make-up Rio: You ain't wronged me Rio: along with half the School, like but they LOVE taking shit personal when 10 minutes ago it was Quinn who? Rio: And we've all put our waterproof to the test before Nancy: If it was just her I wouldn't be thinking about leaving Nancy: Tristan literally has half the school on his side and it's not like I can blame him Rio: It's just insecurity Rio: 'cos you're not a total sadcase like the kids she usually works with, can't pick on them for loving on his Ma or swinging at her whatever Rio: he's just taking out his blatant issues about it 'cos he ain't had the chance before Nancy: Am I not? What would you call me? Nancy: Yeah, bit like how I was with his dad Nancy: At least he's got real issues, I've got...imaginary emotions? Or something Rio: Hmm Rio: I might throw hopeless romantic at you if I'm feeling really savage Rio: Nah, they ain't imaginary Rio: How much easier if they were Nancy: Hopeless is right Nancy: But I doubt either Sian or Quinn would call me romantic Nancy: Well, they weren't real. None of it was Rio: Not the fantasy in your head but the feelings were Rio: you can try and discredit them if it helps but in my experience, usually a pointless exercise Rio: but painful enough to feel somewhat fitting of a punishment, right? a start, at the very least Nancy: Ouch. Calling it a fantasy sounds....yeah let's not Nancy: I know you've got a point, that I should have let you make earlier Nancy: God, how did I let myself end up here Nancy: What the hell Rio: Sorry, as if the world wasn't ready to burst your bubble, like Rio: Shit happens Rio: You can't control it Rio: Arguably could've controlled it enough to not get to that point but I ain't got room or desire to judge too harshly Nancy: It's fine, I've heard worse from the world Nancy: I can though. I had been Nancy: Or so I thought Rio: 'Til you didn't Rio: exactly Rio: It's done now, the rumour mill will do it's thing, then you'll be free to deal with the actual mess in your head Nancy: It's his fault Nancy: The prick Nancy: I wouldn't have lost control if he didn't first Rio: Yeah Rio: She sounds devious Rio: Why her, like Nancy: He hates me and so does she Nancy: Match made, like Rio: He doesn't hate you, babe Rio: He's just an idiot Nancy: Okay, he hasn't forgiven me then Nancy: Point is, he's mad at me Rio: At least you've got reason to be mad at him now too, yeah? Rio: Fair fight Nancy: Like I need a reason, he didn't have one Rio: Yeah, not how he sees it though Rio: maybe you can get it all out there now Nancy: He sees things to suit him Nancy: Always has Nancy: Everything about her was right there for him to see before I left and after Rio: Yeah, it's fucked up Nancy: I shouldn't have to spell it out to him, he was right there Rio: I know Rio: I don't think it's like that Rio: like it's still shitty Rio: but it's not like, love Rio: he ain't like that, if nothing else, thank fuck, yeah Nancy: It doesn't make me feel any better Nancy: There's always girls around him, he didn't need to get with her Nancy: All their friends remember, they tagged me, so he can't have forgotten what she's like and everything she did Rio: He looked wasted Rio: in her photos Nancy: Lesbian or not, I know if he was that wasted he wouldn't have been able to get it up for her Nancy: It's not an excuse Rio: Let's not think about the logisitics Rio: it's not personal, physical reactions Nancy: You can say that, it doesn't matter to you Nancy: If he's so mad at me for moving to Dublin he shouldn't sleep with one of the main reasons why I had to Rio: Have you said this to him yet? Nancy: Fuck no Nancy: And I'm not going to Nancy: He knows what she did, he didn't stop it, whatever I didn't ask him to, but he still had a front row seat Nancy: She made sure everyone did Rio: Wouldn't it make you feel better, to rip him a new one? Nancy: Not really Nancy: I've tried enough times before Nancy: And she's the least of my worries now that half this school hates me and the other half loves me in a way I don't want, ever Rio: I can hear the threesome offers from here Rio: Ugh Nancy: Like, I get it, I'm a cliche, let me list the ways for you but then go away Rio: Keeps your inbox fun and fresh, I guess? Rio: Is it gonna be hate or love, know the feeling Nancy: I haven't even asked how you are! Nancy: Letting myself down in all the ways Rio: Oh God, same old, same old, no need to depress yourself further Nancy: Not to be like my brother and his (lack of) coping mechanisms yet again, but can we go out? Nancy: I'm over being staring at my walls or my phone crying or trying not to Rio: 'Course Rio: you're allowed to drown your sorrows at least 3 more times 'fore I'm calling you out on the parallels Rio: Anywhere with cheap drinks and GRL POWER bops? Nancy: Anywhere that my haters won't be Nancy: Because now I've called them haters which is the WORST thing Rio: 😂 Rio: May as well call 'em motivators whilst you're at it and be done with it Nancy: Sounded like a soundbite from my mum's mouth Nancy: That's the last straw. I wanna die Rio: Not before you've got a 'round in Nancy: If you come and help me not look how I feel then I'll owe you so many drinks Nancy: You'll be able to get as drunk as Buster, fuck everything up too Rio: I do owe you for the time I shamelessly stole your wardrobe so Nancy: You're literally trying to remind me and I still don't remember Nancy: So you're fine Rio: Still omw Rio: I've rocked many a makeover in my time, though it's been a while since any of 'em but Grace would let me 😂 Nancy: I have no energy to fight you Nancy: And can't look worse than I do right now Nancy: The bar is low low low Rio: Slap some cucumbers on those puffy eyes Nancy: Excuse me mum I need to take those from your water really quick, babe Nancy: 👌 Rio: When plain old water just ain't hydrating enough Nancy: @ my dehydrated but still crying self Rio: Dry it up, babe Rio: Gotta at least arrive at the club semi put together Nancy: Are they gonna let me in? Nancy: I can't do any more humiliation today Rio: Of course, you're nearly 18 anyway Rio: they let Indie in, you're fine Nancy: Tell it to Sian Nancy: And the powers that be so they don't sack her Rio: 😑 Nancy: If we're going out you need to work on your poker face Rio: I'm sorry but I'm not gonna cry for her, babe Nancy: You sound like the rumor mill Nancy: none of this is her fault Rio: Mm, she could've done more about it Nancy: She didn't know about it, what could she do? Rio: You reckon? Rio: She's a married woman and you probably weren't that subtle Nancy: You're talking to me not my brother Nancy: I can be subtle Nancy: I've had years of practice Rio: Not with love and shit Rio: No offence but you know it's true Nancy: Yes with love and shit Nancy: She didn't know until I wanted her to Rio: Okay Nancy: You don't believe me, do you? Rio: No but there's no need to push the issue Rio: you can't know either way now Rio: but they won't sack her Nancy: You should Nancy: You say I can't, but I do know, 'cause I've been over every moment in my head Nancy: I wish she did know, before, and she felt the same as I do but that's not gonna happen Rio: Yeah, and every time you go over it, the memory changes Rio: Sorry but you're not a trusted source on this Rio: especially 'cos you still wish that Nancy: I know Nancy: I can't just stop loving her Nancy: Everyone wants me to, even her, but I don't know how to Rio: Yeah Rio: Time, that's about all that'll do it Rio: or someone else Nancy: Did time work for you? 'Cause been there tried the second option already Rio: 'Course Rio: heals all wounds don't you know Nancy: I can't say I do know that yet Nancy: I'm still angry and hurt about Chloe and Buster so Rio: That's allowed Rio: got a decent amount of time left on both before people are eye-rolling Nancy: You think? It's been years since I left Nancy: I should be over it Rio: Nah Rio: she's still the same bitch Rio: why should you try and be above it Nancy: 'Cause I came here to change Nancy: So I shouldn't be the same bitch Nancy: It's pathetic, right? Rio: No, 'cos you weren't the bitch to begin with Rio: You don't need to change Nancy: if the alternative is this Nancy: i want to Nancy: I hate this Rio: Okay Rio: How do you wanna be? Rio: Let's make it happen Nancy: where to start, like Rio: You tell me, babe Nancy: My extensive wardrobe doesn't include a chastity belt so I'm gonna need more self control Nancy: Any ideas? Nancy: Not an app for building that as far as I know Rio: Hmm, idk Rio: could get yourself on tinder, the awfulness of people looking for a quick hookup will do wonders for your sex drive Nancy: Lord Nancy: That's a scarily good idea Nancy: Anywhere where straight guys exist in numbers Rio: The club will be the IRL embodiment so tonight is your lucky night Nancy: Luck isn't on my side lately but i've got nothing to lose Rio: That's the spirit Rio: Might as well put all your chips down now Nancy: Keep my phone for me later? Drunk dialing Quinn at the end isn't gonna work out the way it did at the start Rio: Not yet anyway Rio: Time, yeah? Rio: You take mine, swapsies Nancy: Likely not ever Nancy: You didn't see her Nancy: But sure, your phone camera gets me Rio: Never say never Rio: unless it's your married teacher Nancy: Don't give me undeserved hope Rio: I dunno Rio: It's not like you were married, you know Rio: or you properly cheated Nancy: Yeah but that's only because I didn't have the chance Nancy: I was still thinking about Sian most of the time Nancy: That's gotta hurt Rio: Bit insulting, yeah Rio: I wouldn't go back but maybe she liked you Rio: Either way, don't think there's anything you can do to make ammends rn so Nancy: She told me she liked me Nancy: And because I'm the worst human I didn't stop it Rio: Hardly Nancy: You're too nice to kick me when I'm down Rio: I ain't Rio: And I ain't above using someone for my own shit, not many are Nancy: I'm just as bad as him Nancy: Fucking twinning Rio: Different sins Rio: If you're gonna make like him, try not to give a shit about it, right? Take the perks with it Nancy: If only Nancy: At least he didn't like Chloe and use her anyway Nancy: That's just me and what I'm looking for in a girlfriend Rio: Oh, babe Rio: what a mess Nancy: Help me Nancy: Should I just go back to London or? Rio: Hmm, I don't know Rio: It'd maybe hurt less to not see either of them Rio: but you'd be more alone Rio: but, either way, it's a year and you're out of both Nancy: I don't know either Nancy: I wanna see them both so much and that's why I shouldn't be near either of them, right? Nancy: But June will murder me if I leave and I'll murder Buster if I have to share a house with him all the time again Nancy: Summer was Nancy: Oh God Rio: You're not a monster, you're allowed to feel that Rio: You aren't going to do anything else, the mistakes have been made, you're on learning time Rio: I can't really see London working, to be honest Rio: It'd be a step back, more than all...this Nancy: Yeah. I don't love it there. Closer to being at home here by far Nancy: I know I'm just scared to stay Nancy: But I need to girl up and stick it out, like Rio: Yeah Rio: We're all here Rio: that's a good % of the school pop so fuck it Nancy: 😂 real Nancy: be on your way faster 'cause whatever is closest or coldest in this fridge is being opened now Rio: 👍 Rio: Had to sort my own self but I'm in my car Rio: not looking a total state now, welcome Nancy: teach me how to make cocktails so I can make new friends? Rio: Ooh Rio: Fun Rio: Grandad gonna be pissed off but deal, old man Nancy: sorry but I need the gays to protect me now, granddad I can't wait for you to come over and be fabulous Rio: I'll invite some of my gay friends if you want Rio: not a hoe you out vibe Nancy: They'll back right off when they sense my 💔 so bring whoever you want Rio: See who's about and up for it Rio: first though, some tlc Nancy: If you bring a boy you like I'll promise not to gag Nancy: Or cry Rio: Trust, there are no boys making me gag or cry atm Nancy: Gross Rio: 😂 Nancy: And I assume disappointing? 🤔 Is that the goal, penis so big it almost kills you or? Rio: Oh honey 😏 Rio: I don't believe for a sec you're so 💔 that you're ready for the lowdown on the d Nancy: Trying to talk about you and your interests since I haven't shut up about me Rio: Sweet Rio: Maybe when I'm drunker myself I'll tell you all about it Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: So there's stuff to tell Nancy: Knew it Rio: Nahhhhhhh Rio: Not my own personal penis Rio: just the basics Nancy: Like basic teenage boys from your street or Ann Summer's basic range? Nancy: Either way, do better if I have to live through you Rio: Damn Rio: Pressure weren't real enough already, like 😜 Rio: Ma like, where's those grandkids @ Nancy: Like she wouldn't come at me with the same question Rio: We're all slacking Rio: for shame Nancy: Wait until she hears about my celibacy Nancy: Sorry auntie Nancy: I gotta do what I gotta do Rio: 'til you 👀 some cuties in the cloob Nancy: I'm giving myself to god Nancy: she's a babe Nancy: full nun mode activated Rio: You talking about Ariana Grande? Nancy: Never Nancy: I've got enough drama in my life without fancying a straight celeb Rio: Celebs don't count Rio: ask anyone, free pass, like Rio: off chance she's out in dubo tonight Nancy: It's 🌈 icons or nothing Nancy: But it's nothing, obviously Nancy: feel free to hit her up yourself though Rio: Picky Rio: I'm good tho, not really my type either Nancy: I could make a bunny joke but we don't need to get back into the Ann Summer's shelves Rio: Don't we? Rio: Celibacy ain't gon' be easy babe Nancy: I've done it before Nancy: First girlfriend, remember Rio: Pringle rules Nancy: Never say that again Nancy: Touches too much of a nerve, which in itself sounds dirty so Rio: 😂 Nancy: Don't laugh at me Nancy: Why did I have to ruin my life? Nancy: 😭 Rio: You had to know, yeah? Nancy: But I should've known anyway Rio: You'd always have a what if Nancy: Yeah but I've just swapped one for another 'cause now Quinn's a what if instead Rio: She's a has been now Rio: in the nicest possible way Nancy: Ouch Rio: Not a never ever though Nancy: Safe to assume Nancy: I wouldn't have me back Rio: Yeah but you're living up to your name rep rn Nancy: ? Rio: A negative Nancy Rio: sure that's not old Nancy: I was going on the McKenna part and I was like, how insulting is this gonna get? Rio: Too real for tonight Nancy: Too real for this month Rio: I'll allow it Nancy: Oh god, I'm gonna have to change all my birthday plans Nancy: Don't let me think about that Rio: Yeah, don't Rio: we'll sort something Rio: but I'm here Rio: pour me a drink and lemme in Nancy: 👌👌 Nancy: Excuse mum and dad's scowls Rio: 😬 Rio: Should I move my car lads Nancy: Back to the 24 and away from my bad influence I'm sure they'd say right now Nancy: not a direct quote Rio: I'll chat 'em round Rio: parents love me Nancy: 😏 Rio: Rude! Nancy: Hey, I'm preparing you for the kind of quality banter you'll have to get used to hearing if you hang around me Rio: Alright, the craic starts here Rio: deal with it, 'rents Nancy: 💚🍀

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true

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