#Do I think he seems like the perfect guy to have a toxic secret fwb thing with? Yes

[things-methinks]

I am a Carlos hater and I don't even think about him that much, what is going on in that head of yours James Vowles

[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

Destruction In My Mind (M)

★  PAIRING: Toxic! Stalker!Jaemin Switch!Jaemin x Reader

☆ WORD COUNT: 8.8k

★ GENRE(S): Smut, Thriller, FWB

☆ SUMMARY: The friends with benefits relationship with your coworker takes a turn for the worse as you realize he's been keeping secrets from you.

★ ☆ WARNINGS: Toxic relationship, Swearing, Various acts of sexual intercourse, Unprotected sex, DARK THEMES,YANDERE, STOLKHOLMISH?, KIDNAPPING. STALKING, MDNI

☆★ NOTES: This is the 2nd installment of THE POISON ARCHIVES! This series will contain toxic scenarios so beware. THIS ONE IS A LITTLE DARKER THAN THE REST! Each story is inspired by lyrics from the song poison! 

PART 2

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♫₊˚.“Maybe you were just bored”♫₊˚.

Honestly, you don't know how you ended up in this relationship, if you can even call it that, with Jaemin. You're not really sure what you guys have going on anymore, but one thing is for sure: it's getting out of hand.

Jaemin isn't your boyfriend, not by a long shot, but you know him well enough to consider him a friend. You met him at work, and although you swore up and down you would never mix work and pleasure, he was too charming, and you were swept right into his current. You knew this was an extremely bad idea. Especially considering the fact that Jaemin was the grandson of the CEO, but you had always liked a little danger.

Work life was getting too boring for you. The constant rise and fall of waking up and going to work was starting to eat at you. You were still young! You should be a little more daring and adventurous! You think maybe that's the reason you took Jaemin up on his offer the night of the office party. You were celebrating the company's 30-year anniversary. Everyone had gone out for a drink that night but passed on the offer to join. You had a few papers you needed to submit by this morning. Your boss assured you it was ok to submit them late, but you knew after she had a few drinks she would completely forget she extended your deadline. You weren't taking any chances tonight. You were definitely getting that quarterly bonus. You don't notice that Jaemin has stayed behind to keep you company until he speaks.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, but I just couldn't leave you here by yourself while we all had fun." Jaemin smiled, leaning against your desk.

You thought it was really sweet that he thought of you in a moment like this. That night, he helped you submit your paperwork, and you got the chance to talk to him a bit. Something between the two of you seemed to just click, and it was as you were on the elevator down to the parking garage that he made the proposal. He had noticed how tense you were and how tired you looked. He told you he could help you release your stress and relax.

You're not one for relationships, so when he assured you that it would be strictly pleasure, you jumped at the chance. This was exactly what you needed to spice up your work life. Every day, when you wake up for work, you can barely contain your giddiness. You were excited at the prospect of possibly catching Jaemin's gaze in the hallways, exchanging secret looks and flirty promises. At the beginning, everything was perfect. You guys would sneak away into the bathrooms or storage closets and get lost in each other's touch. Sometimes he would take you home after work in his Bentley, fucking you in the backseat just for the thrill.

But now things were starting to chart in territories you weren't prepared for.

It started about a week ago. Jaemin was his charming self as usual, flashing his perfect smile as a way of saying hello. You were certain that even if he wasn't the CEO's grandson, people would still bend over backward to please him. He was smart, handsome, sweet, funny, and caring. He was so perfect, it was almost scary. But that all changed when you were assigned to do a project report with Mark from the finance department.

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Your days with Jaemin were cut short and your interactions limited as you and Mark busted your asses to meet the deadline of your report. This didn't bother you as much as you thought it would. You weren't dating, so it's not like you were required to give him your undivided attention. Plus, with all the planning you had in front of you due to the project, you had no choice but to put your lust on the back burner.

It was your first time working closely with Mark, but you two worked really well as partners. Plus, Mark wasn't too bad on the eyes, so you spent half your time working and the other half oogling your partner. His ass looked so good in his neatly pressed slacks. Although you wanted to take a bite out of Mark's ass, you liked what you had with Jaemin, so you dubbed him nothing more than a friend. A really hot friend that you use for eye candy when Jaemin is not around because it makes the day go by faster.

One night, Jaemin was finally able to steal a minute of your time. You and Mark had already finished up a few hours ago, but you were stuck staying late again because your boss needed you to organize some reports. She was supposed to do it herself, but she shoulders it off on you like usual. You want to curse her, but in a way, it's because of her stressing you out that you're getting dicked down.

"Prime minister! Miss busy prime minister, please give me just a second of your time," Jaemin jests, catching you at your desk before you pack up to go home.

"Im sorry sir you will have to try again tomorrow," you quip back as you wrap your arms around Jaemin's neck, pulling him in for a quick peck.

"Oh? Only have time for Mark now huh?" He tries to hide the bitterness in his voice behind a laugh, but you can see right through him.

"Oh? that so?" You reply with an amused smile and raise your eyebrow.

"You think I don't see the way you look at him?" He's leaning down over you, just a breath away, his eyes locked on you, making you squirm.

"Someone is jealous I see," you chide, lightly shrugging off his allegations. What was it to him if you wanted to check out other guys? There's no harm in looking.

"No, because That would be against our contract, right doll? I would never jeopardize what we have; I was just checking in on you, making sure you're not thinking of running away from me, right?" He tilts his head slightly, brushing his lips against yours as he speaks against your lips in a hushed tone. He pulls back to meet your eyes with a sweet smile.

"How could I when you treat me so well?" You barely have to lean into him to close the distance between you.

The office cleared out hours ago, so don't protest when his touches start to wander into dangerous places. You hadn't seen him all week and missed his touch. That night, you let him fuck you against the cool window of the 15th floor of the office building.

You were lucky to have had such a good night because when you go into the office the next morning, you're getting your ass kicked left and right. Mark didn't show up today, and since it was the last day of the project, you would have to present it to your higher-ups alone. You had arrived later than normal, so you only had an hour before the presentation to learn his cue cards. You were able to just barely pull it together in time, and when you finish your presentation, the room gives you a round of applause. The higher-ups had heard you were pulling double the weight as your partner was absent, and they were impressed by your ability to adapt to the situation. Your boss commended you for once as you made your way out of the conference room.

"You did amazing! I was really impressed by your presentation. It's a shame Mark couldn't make it today. I wish him a speedy recovery," your boss Sunhee said sincerely.

The last comment really piqued your interest. You were so busy scrambling around the office that morning that you didn't get the chance to ask why Mark was a no-show.

"Now that you mention it, I never got the chance to call him today. What happened?" Your brows knit up in concern.

"You didn't hear? He broke his leg. He said on the way to work this morning, as he was coming up the stairs of his apartment, his foot got caught in something and he fell. Lucky it was just his leg; it could have been his neck!" Your boss exclaims

You shudder at the image in your head and shake it away. "I'll have to visit him after work; he did so much for the project; he was the perfect partner." You bid your boss farewell and go to your desk.

The presentation was the only thing you had scheduled today, so you were packing up to go home. You spot Jaemin a few feet over, watching you from the vending machine. He hadn't said a word to you all day. You chalk it up to the fact that you were busy running around all day, so you walk over to him to update him on the presentation.

"Hey Jaem! Guess what? The presentation went well. It's a bummer though, that Mark couldn't make it today. They say he's going to be out for a broken leg," you say a bit solemnly.

The fact that he showed no sign of worry or surprise should have raised a few flags, but it didn't, because soon he'll be flashing you that award-winning smile and praising you for your hard work. It's almost like he didn't hear the last part.

"That's wonderful, baby! I'm so proud! We should go celebrate tonight," he says, raising a suggestive brow. You can't help but bite your lip in excitement. Your face lit up at the proposition but soon fell once you remembered you had already told Mark you were coming over.

"Im sorry babe! I would love to, but I forgot I had to stop by Marks. I need to check up on him. It's the least I could do after all the hard work he put into the project." You pouted at him.

Just for a second, you see unrecognizable emotion flash in his eyes, but just as quick as it came, it was gone, replaced with another warm smile.

"Should I drop you off then?" he asks sweetly.

"No, it's ok; I'm not sure how long I’ll be over there; I don't want you waiting up," you assure him.

This seems to trigger something in Jaemin, because next thing you know, he's grabbing your arm and dragging you to the old stairwell. It is currently under renovation, so no one comes out that way. You struggle to keep up, and his grip gets increasingly tighter until you yank yourself free from his grasp once you make it into the stairwell. He closes the door behind him and slams you against it; he's in your face now, the wild look from earlier returning full force. You can easily identify it this time.

Jealousy

"I thought you said you didn't like him, huh? Are you lying to me now, baby? You know, I don't like liars," he growls while maintaining eye contact.

"Jaemin, chill out. What's your fucking issue? The poor guy broke his leg!" you snap.

"So why do you need to be over there all night? Why can't I come pick you up? What are you hiding?"

"He's injured, Jaem! He probably hasn't been able to move around a lot. Who knows how much stuff he needs to get done? I'm just going to help out!"

"I don't give a fuck about his leg! He can fall off a bridge for all I care! I hate the way he looks at you; that's what he gets!" He snaps back before he can stop himself.

You were shocked. You had never seen Jaemin as anything less than a sweet man who knew only how to smile. This Jaemin is completely new to you. You push him away and stare at him in horror.

"Have you lost your fucking mind? Who do you think you are? There is nothing between me and him, and there's DEFINITELY nothing between me and you! You're just a good fuck, or did you forget that's all I signed up for?" you state harshly. You take a deep breath before you continue. "We need some time apart; I think you're forgetting yourself," you say composedly before walking back into the main hall.

Jaemin is left alone in the dark stairwell. On the outside, he's cool and collected again, but on the inside, a war is raging, and there's no way he would ever let you walk away from him again.

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A few days have passed, and you see less and less of Jaemin around the office. Mark is still bedridden, and you stop by on your off days to check up on him. You used to go at night after work, returning home late. Some days you could feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up; it was almost like someone was watching you.

One night, on your walk home after bringing Mark some leftovers, you could have sworn you heard the shutter of a camera. You didn't want to freak yourself out, so you tried your best to rationalize it. You ignored it, hoping that your mind was playing tricks on you, but after another 10 minutes of walking, you could hear the soft thud of footsteps. You had finally summoned up enough courage to check behind your shoulder, but no one was there. You ran the rest of the way home and made sure to lock your doors and windows. You were so spooked that you even checked under the bed, still jumping onto it anyway, afraid someone might grab your ankle.

Since then, you have decided to visit Mark only during the day.

You wish you could say it ended there, but other strange things have happened since then. You noticed while doing laundry that a few of your favorite pairs of underwear were missing, and you also noticed your things moved just slightly off center from how you usually leave them. You're so shaken up that you hardly want to return home.

Today, when you go into work, you see a small teddy bear with a card attached that reads "I'm beary sorry," with a little sad face drawn next to it. Before you can even cringe at the pun, Jaemin pops out in front of you with an even bigger bear in front of his face.

"I'm beary sorry," he says as he tries his best to mimic the voice of a cartoon bear, moving the bear like a puppeteer. "Will you forgive me? I can't bear to be without you," he pouts as he reveals his handsome face from behind the plushy.

"Oh my god, Jaemin," You groan, "only if you promise to knock it off with the bear puns."

He smiles slightly before taking on a slightly more serious look. "Can we please talk? I really want to apologize."

You sigh and snatch the bigger bear from his arms, saying, "Fine, but make it quick. Also get rid of these; I don't want people getting the wrong idea," you whisper.

Jaemin smiles triumphantly as he looks for a place to shove the gifts. The last thing you needed was even more drama and gossip going around. You already had to deal with the whispers about how Jaemin always ate lunch with you. The last thing you needed was every girl in the office ripping you to shreds over him.

"Join me for dinner?" he says hopefully.

Alright, fine, but pick me up at 7. You demand. 

"Of course, make sure you wear that dress that I like," he jokes.

"Depending on how much you grovel, I might let you take it off of me tonight," you say, eyeing him mischievously.

You can't help it; it's been too long since you felt his touch, and the quick glances that you steal whenever you think he's not looking aren't enough to satisfy you anymore. Sure, he was an asshole, but he was a sexy one who knew how to push your buttons. It's like he knows his effect on you. One day he's wearing his white button-down with the collar undone and his sleeves rolled up, revealing his toned arm. The same toned arms that used to pin you down on the bed while he fucks you from behind, or the same arms that show no signs of struggle as he hoists you up onto his hips and fucks you against the wall. He was driving you insane! You were supposed to be angry at him for being a rude, inconsiderate, jealous jerk, not fantasizing about him fucking you against every desk in the office. You mentally apologize to Mark for being so weak and try to reason with yourself. This could be a good thing; if you went over to Jaemin's house tonight, you wouldn't have to worry about sleeping alone in the dark, scary house that you once found comfort in.

Dinner with Jaemin is wonderful. He apologizes 100 times over for stepping out of line and also admits he was jealous. He had said that he was just being insecure; he was afraid you had found someone who could make you feel better. He explained that he was stressed more than usual; his grandfather had kept pestering him about taking on a more active role in the company because one day Jaemin was to take over as CEO.

You couldn't find it in yourself to be upset at him. You knew how it felt to have the higher-ups breathing down your neck. He was just stressed; he was having an off day. The Jaemin you knew would never say something so heartless.

After dinner, you hold steady to your promise, and Jaemin takes off your designer dress the moment you step foot through the door of his rooftop condo. His lips were stealing every little bit of air that you had left in your lungs as you both undressed each other, leaving a trail of clothes behind you as you tried to make it to his bedroom.

"I missed you so much doll," he barely manages to say between kisses.

You return his fever and trail your lips down his neck, sucking and biting as you go. He's quick to lift you up with his strong arms, and you take this as a signal to wrap your legs around his waist. He sits with you on his lap at the edge of the bed. You push him until he's lying flat, and you take a moment to look into his eyes. His eyelids are heavy with lust, and he is sporting a lazy smile.

In your haste, you only partially managed to unbutton his shirt. His chest was on full display now, and you groaned at the sight of his thick muscles. You could almost cuff him on the spot. How could a man look so delectable? You wanted nothing more than to bury your face in his chest, so you did. You leave bruises and kisses in your wake as you dot his chest with affection. Your kisses trail lower and lower, but your plan to choke on his cock is foiled as he grabs your face in his hands, bringing you back up to face him. He pecks you on the lips a few times, a little too lovingly for a more sober you, but you're so drunk off of his kisses and touches that you don't even care.

"Nuh uh doll," Jaemin tuts, "tonight is about you. Lay back and let me take care of you."

You mindlessly nod, lying in the center of the bed, unable to break eye contact, like you're under some spell.

He helps you peel the rest of your clothes off and wraps your legs around his shoulders. He takes your hand and rests it in his hair.

"I'm not gonna let up on you tonight, so pull all you want baby," he says alluringly.

His once doe-like eyes are sharp like a siren now. He draws you further under his hypnosis, kissing and biting up and down your thighs teasingly. You would be surprised if you hadn't already soaked through his expensive silk sheets. You pull harshly at his hair as a warning to stop his teasing and do something. He chuckles at your eagerness but keeps true to his word.

Tonight was about you, so when he dove in, he made sure to eat it like it was his last meal on earth. The noises that came from his mouth were filthy as he sloppily licked and sucked at your folds. He had just started, and he was already pussy drunk. He didn't even realize how loud he was moaning into you or how desperately he was grinding into the mattress below him. You tighten your thighs around his head and grind into his mouth. In response, Jaemin sticks his tongue out for you to ride. You fuck his face until your thighs are shaking and his face is slick with your juices. Jaemin backs away enough to push his middle and ring fingers into your slick-covered heat, only returning to suck on your clit harshly.

You're losing your mind just from his tongue alone. You don't think you can go back to regular life without riding this face. It doesn't take long for you to cum all his digits, and you can barely bring yourself back down to earth before he's shoving his soiled fingers into your mouth and lining himself up with your entrance. He slides in easily and fucks you like it was the first time. His head is thrown back, and he can barely contain his groans. You almost wonder if he's even touched himself while you two were apart. The way he desperately fucks into you, pinning you down like you would run away from him, stealing his long-awaited orgasm, you wouldn't put it past him. He fucks you so deep that it has you seeing starts. You grab and tug at his hair and use the last bit of your strength to try to meet his thrusts.

"Come on pretty boy, let go and make a mess of me," you pant.

You try to hold on; you want to cum together, but you can't help it when your walls tighten around him, signaling your second orgasm. Jaemin is finishing soon too, after a few more deep thrusts. He shoves his face into your neck when he releases inside of you, his hips stuttering to a stop. You both take a moment to catch your breath. He soon rolls off of you and takes another moment to recoup before he gets up to pamper you. He runs you both a bath, and while you're getting settled in, he changes the sheets and then joins you in the tub. After cleaning up, you both head to bed, unable to fight off sleep any longer.

Just before you could enter into a deep sleep, you swore you saw the bright teal color of your favorite pair of lace panties sticking out of one of his drawers.

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The next morning, you awake to the smell of breakfast. Your eyes naturally fall to the same drawer you spotted last night, but there was no sign of your panties. Maybe you just dreamt that you saw them. You push the thought to the back of your mind, and you get up to find Jaemin in the kitchen, already dressed for work.

"Hurry up and get dressed or we're going to be late," He reminds you, mouth full of food.

"Ugh, can't we call in?" You groan as you pick off some bacon from the arrangement of food on the dinner table.

"And ruin your perfect attendance? No way sweetheart, come on." He insists 

You go get dressed and meet him back out to finish breakfast. You two head into the office together but part ways after you exit the elevator. You're walking to your desk when your boss pulls you to the side.

"Hey, I hate to ask you for so many favors, but I need your help," she pleads. "Since Mark is out sick, our new hire orientation team is short a member," she pouts.

You already knew where this was going. Even though Mark was a part of the finance department, he would occasionally help out the hiring department since they were always shortstaffed. He's good friends with Doyoung, the lead hiring manager, and has agreed to be one of his orientation leaders from time to time.

"No ma’am, get somebody else to do it," you whine as you try to walk away.

The main reason why the OLs were always short-staffed was because everyone hated training the new hires. With a billion-dollar company such as this one, you would think they would hire a proper team to train the new people, but instead they resort to pulling people away from other departments and making them help out. Orientation leaders were always behind on deadlines because orientation lasted a week, and there's virtually no time to work on any assignments when you have to watch the newbies. After a week, the new hires are then sorted out into their own departments for their department leads to babysit.

"I'll add extra vacation time. Come on, I'll only assign you one guy!" Your manager tries again, hot on your heels.

You sigh; extra vacation time does sound like a steal. "Fine, I'll do it."

"Great! I'll bring him to you later for introductions," your manager says as she clasps her hands together in joy.

You settle in at your desk and boot up your laptop. After a few moments, you notice a figure looming over you. You peek up and meet eyes with Adonis reincarnate.

"Hello, I'm sorry, I was trying to peek at your name plate. Are you Y/N?" The handsome stranger asks

"I can be whatever you want me to be." You almost spilled. You scramble to your feet and offer him your hand in a handshake. "Yes, that's me, and you are?" you inquired nervously.

"Jaehyun," he adds. "It's nice to meet you; will you be showing me around for the week?"

You nod first before tripping over your words to add an overly enthusiastic "yes". Jaehyun chuckles at your antics, and you can't help but notice his cute dimples.

Maybe something good did come out of Mark breaking his leg. You would get to work closely with this literal god of a man. You could hear the ladies around the office complaining in jealousy at your luck already.

Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin is watching the entire exchange from across the room, eyes cold and jaw tense, snapping a pen between his fingers as his grip tightens.

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It's day 3 of orientation week for Jaehyun, and by now you two have already grown close. Casually making jokes between the two of you, Going out to eat lunch together and exchanging phone numbers. You barely even spared Jaemin a glance, and when he asked you to accompany him to dinner after work, you made excuses that you were too tired from juggling orientation and your own projects, but Jaemin could tell it was a lie. Jaehyun isn't as incompetent as the other new hires and doesn't need much help when it comes to doing the tasks he's given. You just hover over him because you like his company and his handsome face. You could have finished multiple projects by now if you weren't glued to Jaehyun's side. Jaemin is no fool. Maybe you didn't have a thing for Mark, but you definitely had a thing for Jaehyun, and whatever it was that you were feeling, he was going to crush it.

The next day you go into work, you're not greeted by Jaehyun's smiley dimples. You try to call him, but his phone goes straight to voicemail. You decide to ask around the office to see if anyone has seen him, and you are met with devastating news.

"Haven't you heard? Jaehyun got into a car crash after work yesterday. They had to rush him to the hospital." Your coworker says it mournfully, her face pale.

"Is.....he ok?" You are almost scared to even ask.

"He's stable now, but it was pretty bad," your coworker Yena adds.

You finish up your chat with Yena. You get all the details of what happened and decide to visit him after work.

You run into Jaemin in the hallway. He looks as cheerful as ever. There's no way he hadn't heard the news yet.

"Why the long face beautiful?" he inquired when he noticed your deep frown and somber attitude.

"Jaehyun was hurt really badly yesterday; I don't think he will be able to return to work anytime soon," you say dejectedly.

Jaemin knows not to make the same mistake twice; he puts on his best worried look and tries his best to comfort you.

"I'm sorry doll; I knew how close you were with him. How about I drop you off after work to visit him?" Jaemin adds

You're surprised by Jaemin's reaction; this was a complete 180 from how he reacted last time you showed concern for a male coworker. Maybe he was telling the truth; maybe it was just stress last time. You grin up at him and agree to wait for him after work.

After work, you wait at the front of the building for Jaemin to pull his car around. You're waiting patiently when a Bugatti parks in front of you. You pay it no mind as you wait for Jaemin to pull up in his bentley. The driver rolls down the passenger window, and you meet face-to-face with Jaemin.

"What are you doing?" he laughs.

You hesitantly approach the car in confusion. "Jaem, you got a new car?"

"It's not new; it's just not one of my favorites," he shrugs, pressing a button for the passenger side to open, revealing the butterfly doors. You get in and can't shake the unsettling feeling in your chest.

"Jaem… Where's your bentley?" You try your best to sound as normal as possible, but your mind is running a mile a minute.

"It's in the shop; the transmission was fucked. Why? Did you like it that much?" he teases.

"Yeah, it was... It was my favorite," you try to tease back, but can't help but grow silent, letting the music fill in for the missing conversation.

After a 15-minute drive, he drops you off at the hospital. You tell him you'll catch a cab home and kiss him goodbye; he doesn't put up a fight and pulls off. As soon as his car leaves your sight, you rush into the hospital. You ask the nurse at the front desk for the room number and make your way through the hospital. You approach the room and stop to catch your breath. You peek in through the small window and see that Jaehyun is awake. You knock gently before letting yourself in; he turns to see who it was that was coming to visit and immediately freezes once his eyes land on you.

You smile at him. "How are you?"

"Don't talk to me!" he yells.

"Wha-jaehyun, it's me?"

"You can't be here; you need to go now!"

"I just came to see if you were okay."

"I'll be better once you're gone! I don't want to see you anymore!" he shouts.

The noise alerts a nearby nurse. The nurse enters the room and, upon seeing you, escorts you out, saying, "I'm sorry, but you're upsetting the patient; you need to leave."

Just before she can drag you out of the room completely, you lock eyes with Jaehyun one last time. His eyes are filled with terror. You left confused and hurt. You thought Jaehyun was your friend; what could have gotten into him? Every memory from the past couple of months comes rushing back to you as you try to piece everything together.

You flirt with Mark, and he ends up with a broken leg.

Stuff begins to go missing around the house.

You always feel like someone is watching you.

You form a friendship with Jaehyun, and he ends up in the hospital.

All of this, and now Jaemin's car is in the shop right after Jaehyun ends up in a car crash? It just isn't adding up.

You wish you could talk to Jaehyun to find out more, but you don't want to upset him. There is one person you could talk to, though.

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You're paranoid when you finally flag down a cab. What if he was watching you? What if you get to Mark's place and find out something terrible has happened? The drive is short, and when you get out of the cab, you rush up the stairs to mark the apartment. It had been awhile since you last spoke with Mark; you were too caught up in work to visit him anymore. You pray that he's alright as you bang on his door, shouting for him to answer. You didn't want to cause a scene, but as each second passed, you grew more and more desperate, and thoughts of the worst-case scenario tormented you.

You had been losing everyone you cared about recently, and the one person you thought you could trust seemed to be hiding more secrets from you, maybe even living a double life. Your banging slows as you fall to your knees in tears.

"Please mark. Please be okay," you whisper as you try to fight back sobs. After a few more moments, you hear the door unlock quickly, and Mark pulls the door open.

"Jesus, give a guy a minute; you know my leg is broken," he scolds before he looks down and sees you a crying mess on his doormat.

"Dude… What's going on?" he asks.

You pull yourself together and enter his apartment, quickly shutting the door behind you. You engulf him in a tight hug as soon as you're in the privacy of his home.

"Dude, are you like... okay?" He asks as he awkwardly pats your back.

You hiccup into his chest and pull away.

"I'm fine; I just really needed to check up on you." You give him your best smile, your lips still trembling as you try to quiet your sobs. "I need to talk to you about something."

You fill Mark in on everything that's been happening at work since he's been gone. You tell him about Jaehyun, and you tell him about Jaemin's weird behavior. You ask Mark if Jaemin had ever done or said something to him that would have set off any red flags. He racks his brain for a few moments until a light bulb goes off.

"You know what? A couple days before I broke my leg, I ran into Jaemin in the coffee room. We just started making small talk. He was pleasant at first, but then he started asking questions about our project, how often I see you, and if I had ever been over to your house. He even asked what our relationship was," Mark finishes.

You both stare at each other, your blood running cold.

"You don't think he's the reason..." Mark hesitates.

"Mark, you need to be careful, ok? I don't think anyone was following me when I came here, but please watch your back, ok?" You shakily exhale.

"Alright, you too. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think he will hurt you." Mark tries to console you.

You're not afraid of Jaemin. You know he would never hurt you; you can tell he loves you in his own sick, twisted way, but you are afraid of what Jaemin will do to others.

 ・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

You returned from Mark's house that night with a new resolve. You had to get more evidence. You needed to prove that Jaemin was really behind all of this, but you needed a way to get into the house to snoop around to do that. There's no way you could sneak in; his security was too tight, and you had to find a way for him to let you in. The only problem with that was that whenever you two were together, he wouldn't take his eyes off of you. You wracked your brain all night until you came up with a not-so-solid plan. You were going to have to wing it, but you prayed that you could pull it off.

You finish your work week without a hitch. You keep up an act around Jaemin, not wanting him to catch on to the fact that you're suspecting him. He asks you out on a date on Saturday. This was perfect. This was the exact opportunity you had been waiting for. When Saturday comes, Jaemin takes you shopping. He buys you all sorts of things—practically anything you lay eyes on.

"Jaem, where am I even going to put all this stuff?" you chastise him. "I don't need all of this," you tell him after you two have left the fifth shop that day.

He kisses you softly on the cheek. "Won't you let me spoil you? Come on, who knows? You may need this stuff one day! And you can store it at my house!" He raises his eyebrows at you, challenging you to rebut his logic.

You look into his eyes, and a part of you wants so hard to believe that this was Jaemin and that there was no sinister Jaemin lurking behind those pretty eyes of his.

"Yea, but come on, Jaem, a flat screen? Since when do fuck buddies drop a band on each other?" You raise an eyebrow to match him.

"Well, call me your sugar daddy then~" he coos, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"Gross, get away from me, old man," you say, pushing him away. You know you're on a mission, but you can't help but fall back into the normal swing of things with him.

You arrive back at his house, and he has the concierge bring up the bags. Jaemin sets the things down in another room down the hall. When he returns to the living room, you're nowhere to be seen. He travels the short distance back to his room, and he sees you dressed down to your lace set sitting prettily on his bed.

"Whats this?" He licks his lips.

"I want to say thank you. For today." You look away in embarrassment. To him, it looks like you're just turning shy under his gaze, but In reality, you're scanning his room for clues.

"So polite baby," he whispers as he closes in on you. You hold out a hand in front of you, effectively making him stop. He leans into your palm, and you have to fight the urge to caress his chest. He takes a small step forward, your hand still on his chest, and he smirks and quirks a brow. It's almost like he's telling you that you can't do anything that he doesn't allow. He doesn't stop because you made him; he stops because he decided to.

"Let me take care of you tonight, Jaem," you sigh airily, sitting up onto your knees to meet his eyes.

He leans in further for a slow kiss. His hands caress your body, drinking you up. You pull away after a few moments and give him your best puppy eyes. He studies you for a few seconds before relenting as he sits beside you on the bed. You climb onto his lap, and you undress him. Pushing him back into the mattress and worshiping his body. There are moments when you think he's going to try and take back control, but that just won't do.

You need him to submit.

You pull his hair harshly and whisper into his ear. "If you're not gonna be a good boy, I won't touch you. Don't you want to be good for me?"

He looks up at you with doe eyes and spit-glossed lips as he nods. That's all he's ever wanted; he needs to be good for you. His breathing shallows, and you know you've got him right where you want him.

Your plan is to wear him out. You're gonna have to pull as many orgasms from him as possible so that you can put him straight to sleep. Call this pussy nyquil. You start off by making him cum down your throat. You were sitting on his face as you sucked him off; he loved this position because he got to smother himself in your pussy, so it didn't take him long to finish. Next, you pulled out a few toys and ordered him to use them to fuck himself. You held one of his fleshlights just a few inches above his length, making him work for his release. He whined each time you would tease him and pull the toy away before he could bury himself to the hilt in it. He was looking at you with those pretty eyes and batting those long lashes up at you, begging you to give him what he wanted, so who were you to deny him? You were gonna give it to him, alright? Over and over and over again. You fuck the toy down on him harshly, and he freezes, letting his back arch in pleasure as you fuck him.

"Did I tell you to stop? Fuck," you command simply.

He resumed his movements not a minute later, meeting you thrust for thrust. His head is thrown back as he cums deep inside the toy, his legs shaking and his chest heaving.

"No break?" he heaves, trying to catch his break.

"No break," you confirm as you swing a leg over his lap and sit on this length. "But you can handle it, can't you?"

When Jaemin nods in confirmation, you ride him until he's crying. He can't control his hands anymore, and they find purchase on your hips, gripping the flesh as he bites his plump bottom lip, tears staining his cheeks as he calls your name over and over.

"That's it baby,almost there?" you ask, grabbing his face and making him look at you. His lips begin to tremble again, and he releases deep inside of you without warning. He really wanted to tell you, but his brain was fried.

That's exactly what you needed.

"Lay down, baby; I'll clean you up, ok?" You say this as you stroke his face.

He tries to fight to stay awake, but soon enough, he's out like a light. You wait a few minutes for his breathing to even out, then you spring into action. You gently crawl off the bed and gather your clothes, throwing them on. You go to the bathroom, grab a towel, and wet it so that when you return, you can just pretend like you left to find a rag. You begin searching the house for anything that can clear the thoughts in your head.

If you find nothing, you agree to drop it all and just go back to normal. Maybe Mark really did trip, and Jaehyun was just being an asshole for no reason. If you did find evidence, though, you would confront him. You wanted to turn him over to the police, but you knew that with all the connections he had, he would be right back out in a day. Your best bet is to confront him so he doesn't feel betrayed. You don't want him to act irrationally.

The kitchen is clear, so you move on to the living room; nothing stands out. Next was the bathroom; again, nothing. You were growing frustrated. You check the spare bedroom, the one where he put all of your things. It's set up pretty nicely. There is a huge bed in the center of the room and a huge window that overlooks the city. There's an attached bathroom and even a small fridge. All of your things are laid out around the room. You wonder if this room is specifically for you. Maybe somewhere for you to hang out whenever you come over? You don't dwell on it too much and move to the master bedroom.

You quietly check to see if Jaemin is still sleeping. His chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm, so you continue your search. You check under the bed and then the closet. You scour the shelves when something sticks out to you. It's a medium-sized box with your initials on it. You try to pull it down from the back of the shelf and clumsily stumble backwards, dropping the box in the process. It falls with a loud thud, the lid pops off, and all of its continents spill out onto the dark closet floor. You scrambled in the darkness to put everything back, but you couldn't see a thing. You're grabbing anything you can feel when the light flickers on. Jaemin doesn't say anything at first; he just watches you. When he notices what you're holding, he speaks.

"What are you doing?" Jaemin says it coldly.

Try to respond, but there's nothing you can think of to explain yourself. You take a look around you; now that the light is on, you can finally see the contents of the box as they lay spread across the floor. Photos of you from different angles, different days, and different locations All of which you had no recognition of. Among the photos, you see your missing underwear. You finally looked down to see what you were holding, and it was another photo. This one was taken directly over you as you slept in your bed at home.

"Jaemin…..what is all of this?" You shakily ask, barely able to meet his cold gaze.

He lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head.

"You weren't meant to see those pretty. Why did you have to go and ruin everything? Every time something is going great between us, you have to ruin it." He lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head.

The next thing you know, the room is covered in darkness again.

   ・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦

3 months later

Finally, after months of recovery, Mark's leg finally healed up, and he's able to return to work. He hasn't heard from you since the night you told him everything. He had been lying low, like you asked. He hopes that now that he's returning to work, he can get some more information about your whereabouts. He was greeted by the entire staff when he arrived, even a few new faces he didn't recognize. A party was thrown to welcome him back. He doesn't catch sight of you or Jaemin during the office get-together. He begins to worry, but everyone seems to be acting normal, so nothing terrible could have happened to you, right? As the day progresses, he's introduced to the new people in his department, one of whom is Jaehyun. Mark remembers you mentioning that name the last time he saw you. During lunch, Mark finds Jaehyun and asks to speak with him in private. They go to the stairwell, which has now been fully renovated.

"Hey man, by any chance do you know y/n?" Mark questions carefully.

"Yeah, she showed me around for my first two days," Jaehyun answers collectively.

"Why only the first two?" Mark asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I got hurt pretty bad in a car accident," Jaehyun says with slight unease.

"You know something similar happened to me after meeting her as well. I fell down the stairs and broke my leg after working with her for a few days," Mark said, gauging Jaehyun's reactions.

Jaehyun sighs in irritation before meeting Mark's eyes. sternly, "Look man, I don't know what you're insinuating, but it was just an accident. Leave it alone."

"Dude, I think something happened to her. I asked her manager, and they said she quit after not showing up to work for a week! That doesn't sound like her at all!" Mark argues back desperately.

Jaehyun grabs Mark's shoulder and pulls him in closer before looking over his shoulder. "drop it. You don't know what you're up against; just let it go; it's better that way." Jaehyun lets go of Mark to push past him, exiting the stairwell.

Mark can't let it go! He needs to know what happened to you. It's the least he can do for all the times you used to visit him, so he asked around, and he found out that Jaemin also left his department about a month ago. They said he got a promotion and is now working from home.

Mark takes it upon himself to pay him a visit after work.

When he arrives, his heart is beating out of his chest, and he can just feel it in his bones that something is not right. He knocks, and after a few moments, Jaemin opens the door.

"I see your legs better." Jaemin doesn't even bother with a hello.

"Yeah, thankfully," Mark replies, trying to keep up the formalities. "I'm back at work now, but I didn't see Y/N today? Have you guys spoken recently?"

"No I'm sorry; the last I heard from her was after she put in her two weeks." Jaemin replies nonchalantly.

"Bummer. Mind if I come in? I’d like to catch up with you." Mark knows it's no use but decides to take the chance anyway.

"Actually," Jaemin looks behind his shoulder, "right now isn't a good time. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, man, no problem. I'll be seeing you around." Mark waves as he bids Jaemin a polite goodbye.

Jaemin doesn't respond; he doesn't like the idea of running into Mark again and just watches as he retreats back down the hall.

Mark knows Jaemin is hiding something, and he was going to find out.

     ・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆

Jaemin shuts the door and locks it. He turns and heads down the hall towards your room. He unlocks the door from the outside and steps in. You're lying on the bed, reading manga. This was just one of the ways you spent your free time in your little makeshift prison. It seems like you really did need all that stuff he bought you on that Saturday all those months ago. Jaemin had this room fully furnished for you; the closet was stocked with all your clothes and more, and The fridge was full of your favorite foods and desserts. He had taken care of your lease at your old place and ended it. You don't need that anymore. The smart TV was now mounted on the wall, but you had already watched half of Netflix’s catalog by now. You have a nice view from your room. Jaemin allows some form of sunlight, but he had the windows altered so they don't open or break. You spend your time reading books. playing games or drawing. Jaemin spends a lot of time with you as well, but you still won't look at him.

"You had a visitor today; Mark came looking for you." Jaemin tells you casually, like he was just mentioning the weather.

This was the first time in 3 months that you looked at him for more than 5 seconds. Your eyes are hopeful as you sit up in bed.

"It seems like that caught your attention," he says humorlessly.

"Please don't hurt him, Jaem; he has nothing to do with this."

"I won't hurt him; I know how much you care for him. The same goes for Jaehyun. I love you, so I would never do anything to hurt you or make you sad," he pouts for the theatrics. "I just want you to love me back. You don't love me now, but time fixes everything. Until that day comes, you’ll be stuck in this room with me."

He's right in front of you now, softly stroking your hair as he smiles reassuringly at you. You want to move away from his touch, but his other hand comes up to grip your face, holding you in place. He lays a firm kiss on your lips, and this time you retaliate. You bite his lip hard enough to draw blood, but he doesn't pull away. He takes it. He smears his blood-covered mouth against yours and laughs as you whine in protest. Jaemin finally pulls away.

"Hurt me all you want; you're still mine."

You think he looks psychotic as he's standing in front of you, but even now, as blood trickles down his chin, you think his smile is still dazzling.

Maybe he's already destroyed you.

[hellreads]

Do you any super angsty fics like angsty angsty

hi there love, as I was checking my shelf for some angsty angsty fics to recommend I ended up pulling 50+ gvjhakgsdhjgsdjfk so I highly suggest you just check the angst fics I read here, but I will still be recommending the ones that I find really angsty, the ones that tear a hole in my heart, the ones that made me cry buckets of tears out of heartbreak and pain, the ones that haunt me and pull out all the sad feels from me whenever I’m reminded of these stories. 

p.s. I will sort this by member and will try to just list at least three or maybe five, okay five it is per member ~ the ones that made me feel very very angsty and very very emotional T_T | 🍒

Kim Namjoon

❥ Cut by @chimchimsauce➴ Anti-Soulmate!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Namjoon always hated soulmates.

❥ Covenant by fringesofsanity➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Series➴ You are betrothed to Kim Namjoon, the heir of a real estate mogul. To say that it was a fairytale romance would be erroneous. You’re instead loped in the sad tale of the rich and melancholy.

❥ Ride or Die by @jungcock➴ Bestfriends/Road Trip!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jungkook was a terrible boyfriend, always abandoning you on the side of the road midst your many road trips. Thankfully, you had Namjoon to come pick you up every time he did and it was about time you reward him for it.

❥ Nothing Like Us by @chiminiemoans➴ Exes/Lovers!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Two-Shot➴ Your ex hears about your new toxic relationship and that is the jump start to get him going out to look for you. With the worry and jealousy he feels consuming him whole, he questions if he made the right decision in letting you go in the first place

❥ Not The One by @personawife➴ Soulmate!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ There’s a fault in the cosmic system.

Kim Seokjin

❥ Epiphany by @floralseokjin➴ Exes!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Sometimes it’s best to remember the past is just a memory…

❥ 2,561 Days by @gossamie➴ Marriage/Divorce!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Two years of marriage could not stop the relationship from falling apart. As an attempt to seek closure before the divorce, Seokjin and you retrace your seven years together.

❥ Seven Seconds in Heaven by @jimlingss➴ Married!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ In the moment of your death, Heaven drops the hammer of punishment; making him travel back in time to relive memories that can never be changed. Seven memories. Seven minutes in each. Seven seconds before they are ripped away.

❥ Currents by @yeoldontknow➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jin thinks he’s loved you since the moment he saw you, back when you were teenagers; Jin knows he’s been in love with you, the soul burning kind of love, since he saw you on your wedding day. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate on his level, he’s just happy to show you he cares. Until one day, he simply can’t anymore. Until one day, you realize you need to show him you care, too.

❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook➴ Married/Mob!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok x Yoongi | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.

Min Yoongi

❥ Please Be Naked by @floralseokjin➴ Rebound!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Namjoon | Series➴ You find it’s easy to become addicted to a distraction…

❥ Wildest Moments by @joonbird➴ Infidelity/F2L!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series➴ “Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Married/Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Cheating by @jhspetitegf➴ Married/Infidelity!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Married too young, too fast, the temptation is too great when an alluring stranger shows you the attention you crave.

❥ To Be Without by @serenililly➴ Producer!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series➴ Funny how the world can shift in an instant. How you approached your bedroom with excitement only to walk away with a life forever changed.

Jung Hoseok

❥ Piece by Piece by @underthejoon➴ FWB/F2L!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok | Drabbles | Series➴ You’re in love with your best friend but you’re using someone else to forget. love triangle.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Gentleman/Club!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

❥ Ask and You Shall Receive by @floralseokjin➴ Sugar Daddy!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series➴ Your sugar daddy says you don’t have to sleep with him if you don’t want to…trouble is, you do want to. You’re just nervous and a little inexperienced, but he catches on quick and begins to teach you the true pleasures of sex, and boy, are they good…

❥ Fake Love by @aquaminwrites➴ E2L/Fake Dating!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Every year, your family spends the holidays at your parents’ cottage in the country. Freshly single and not wanting to be picked apart by your family for being alone, you decide to recruit one of your friends to pretend to be your boyfriend.The only available volunteer? Your brother Namjoon’s roommate, Hoseok. Only problem? He absolutely hates your guts.

❥ Call Out My Name by @hobiwonder➴ Exes!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok needed closure.

Park Jimin

❥ Ineffable by fringesofsanity➴ FUBU!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You’ve only bared your body to Jimin, mostly silent after the act. The one time you do, you find yourself baring your soul to him, far more than you bargained for.

❥ Right Person, Wrong Time by @mortaljin➴ Fuckboy!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Park Jimin is a name that holds no significance in your heart right now. But it is a name that will haunt you for years.

❥ Slight Changes by @chiminiemoans➴ Idol/Infidelity!AU | Jimin x Reader x Taehyung | Series➴ Taehyung gets caught.

❥ Everything by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ It’s funny how there are certain moments in your life which define you.

It’s funny how when you’re asked what was memorable to you in a year – the first things you think about are an odd, assorted jumble which make absolutely no sense out of context. People, faces, random speeches and words that moved you. I, for some reason, always think of a book. Last year, it was 1Q84. The year before that, it was The Name of the Wind.

I always think of a book – and then of Jimin.

❥ We Have One Hour Left to Live by @gossamie➴ Lovers/Apocalypse!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ The world is ending soon. How will you and Jimin spend your last hour on this earth?

Kim Taehyung

❥ Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ You hate him. He hates you. It’s a fine line though, isn’t it – between love and hate?

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Who Cares by @floralseokjin➴ Lovers/Infidelity!AU | Seokjin x Named OC x Taehyung | Series➴ What happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…?

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ I Must Still Want You by @filmflowersbangtan ➴ F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ //

Jeon Jungkook

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Seokjin x Namjoon | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.

❥ Euphoria by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Time Travel/Married!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day.

❥ 2U by @sokiijk➴ Surrogate!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You were simply trying to make a living and give the opportunity of having children for the women who couldn’t. You meet a couple who plans to have a steady life — you being the last puzzle piece for it all. But you acknowledge the boyfriend, Jungkook, who questions if he actually wants it.

❥ Animal by @cutaepatootie➴ Boxer!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ //

~ so that’s it! I hope you enjoy these recommendations, I do have a lot on my shelf so check them out if you want more, some of these stories are angsty through and through while others have this calm before the storm vibe and the angst will hit you hard it’ll hurt, prep a box of tissues (especially for those Jin fics, I cried the most reading them T_T) 

[goldblcd]

●● is that ARÓN PIPER? no, that’s just SEBASTIAN MONTFORT, the 18 year old CIS MALE who is a COLLEGE STUDENT. some say they’re ARROGANT AND INCONSIDERATE, but their family and friends will swear they’re PERSPICACIOUS AND DEBONAIR. when i think of them, i think of fast sports cars marking the asphalt, chemicals burning in bloodstream, screaming matches for breakfast, leaping into the unknown with no parachute, an ode to debauchery, black tie and black eye. i wonder if HIS neighbors know that HIS PARENTS BOUGHT HIS WAY INTO COLLEGE. 

no one saw this coming, i know. but here’s rory with character n5, possibly the trashiest of them all. 

story time !

montfort family is yet another one of those wealthy and pompous family that seem to flock to ashcroft. it is said the family has links to 18th-century french nobility, but if there’s any truth behind that who knows. in ashcroft, they’ve been perceived to be a perfect family, but behind doors, things were much different.

bas is the second son of a loveless and dysfunctional marriage that has only lasted this long because appearances are everything for his parents. his parents have been cheating on each other probably for as long as they’ve been married and their two kids were nothing more than a nice accessory.

though caring when present, his mother was always busy with her own life. social gatherings and trips with her son’s tennis coach taking much of her schedule. his father, on the other hand, was extremely controlling and overbearing. at times, physically and psychologically abusive to get his kids to fall in line. 

he always pushed both montfort children to be the best and set some pretty high expectations for them. their whole life was traced for them, from diapers to university and beyond. he has done a nice job making bas feel like no matter what he does it will never be enough. that he’ll never be enough.

the one person he always had was his older brother, xavier. he as his best friend, his protector against their father’s excess and the golden boy of the montfort boys. but that was taken from him when he was thirteen and his brother was sixteen. they had been out with jet skis when xavier’s was hit by a boat. 

life followed with his mother spending more time away from home and his father focused all his energy on making bas the perfect heir (at least on paper). his secret is very much about that. his whole school career his parents donated stuff to school to keep him there, and when he finally graduated his father didn’t think twice before going all aunt becky and getting bas into bu one way or another. 

oh. before i forget, boy is also scar’s baby daddy. ops. 

personality !

what can i say? he is an asshole. it’s genetic and he got it from his dad. the end. jk jk — he is an asshole, there’s no way around that. part of it is because it’s just the way he was raised, and that is the idea that being too nice to people won’t get you anywhere. unless it’s just some good old manipulation. it was always about being first, being best and taking what you wanted. and then there’s a part that is for protection. a way to keep people’s distance and get some sort of control of his own life and the narrative. and, if he’s being honest, people need to get a tougher skin if they’re going to feel insulted with every truth he says.

but he’s not all snark and bluntness, he can be very charming too when he wants. he has been groomed to take over his father and knowing how to present oneself and interact at social gatherings is very important. yes, he is manipulative and knows how to work people into getting what he wants. he’s arrogant and elitist so don’t expect this one to be remotely politically correct. and he’s very unapologetic about it too. just a great guy. he’s too cynic for love and thinks it’s all a transaction. thanks, dad, for that one.

he has been brought to be in control of his emotions. emotions are a weakness and if you let others see them, they will use it against you. though sometimes his temper gets the best of him, which only makes him angrier. more than being reckless, bas is self-destructive. he rushes toward trouble and danger with a smirk on his face. it’s like he’s constantly daring life to do something. maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing.

there’s a part of him that he doesn’t want anyone to see, though. the coward who can’t stand up to his dad. the guy who’s utterly lost because everything about his life to this point has been carefully orchestrated by his father. he wants nothing more than to break free and just be himself for once, but he just doesn’t know how to do it. doesn’t think it’s possible at this point.

wanted connection !

friends. he’s trash but some people like that? he needs his pals that enjoy doing terrible things too.

enemies. anyone he’s pissed off tbh. 

fwb. give him people to sleep with because he’s a heathen. 

one night stands. read desc above. (he will not call the next day)

dealer. boy gotta get his drugs somewhere.

ex-friend. what about someone his dad made him stop being friend when he was younger?

bad influence. someone he can be the worst influence on? even better if it’s someone pure. maybe someone that he’s using?

messy ex. that one toxic relationship that should have never happened yet they’re out there still hooking up sometimes.

idk gimme stuff!

[dcmiiniic]

hi, it me, mini from the block --- bringing you another muse, and he is my lil bb. also @maddisvn’s brother bc i love lia. so uh, read the intro (srry if its a bit long), like this and I WILL mssge you for plots and threads. the messier the better, bc im a messy biiih. ily.

❛ new york’s very own Dominic Parker was spotted on broadway street in  Off-White White 3.0 Off-Court Sneakers. your resemblance to Reece King is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty third birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being impatient, but also idealistic. i guess being a sagittarius explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be reading a book by the beach, torn up runners, and neon highlighters & ( cismale & he/him )

Basic Information

Full Name: Dominic Omar Parker

Nickname(s): d, dom

Age: 23

Date of Birth: December 20th 1995

Zodiac sign: sagittarius

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

Ethnicity: african-american/white

Nationality: american

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic

Language(s) Spoken: english 

Accent: american

Favourites

Weather: summer

Colour: green

Music: logic, big sean, etc.

Movies: the lion king

Sport: track + field, basketball

Beverage: hennessy or red label

Food: doubles! and plantains with cheese.

Animal: sea lions + turtles

Family

Father: henderson parker

Mother: cassandra parker

Sibling(s): maddison parker + older bro (WC)

Children:  aaliyah strawberry parker, 1 yr. (stormi webster fc)

Pet(s): a turtle named franklin

BIOGRAPHY

dominic grew up in san francisco, california. his favorite thing growing up was hanging out at pier 39 and just watching the sea lions chill all day on top of the boards. regardless of the smell. he loved the fact that it didn’t rain or snow, the weather was just ideal. it allowed him to thrive when things were constant with minor changes.

dominic feels most at home by the ocean. he finds it peaceful since it’s calm and quiet besides the sounds of the water crashing together.

@ 15, dominic and the rest of the parkers moved over to NYC cos their dad got a job there and tb he hated it. 

he had to be the new kid, at a new school, in a new city but, dominic is the type of person to blend in so making a whole new life barely came with challenges. he was able to work a room, and he was smart to figure things out easily. 

he made a lot of friends, went to the randomest of parties, all while maintaining a high average in school and keeping A1 appearances.

FAMILY

since the parkers were well off, dominic didn’t have to work for anything when it came to getting things he wanted - but what he did have to work for was getting his father’s approval on almost every part of his life.

being one of the only two boys, there was a lot riding on them to do things. going to school, getting the best grades, making sure you’re always presentable - and bc dominic just wanted to please his dad, he did everything he could. he studied a lot, he did a lot of volunteer work and thankfully for him he liked to study, so studying a lot wasn’t a problem.

dominic rlly struggled being the middle child, but don’t get him wrong, he loves his siblings. believe it or not, he still loves his dad, and he’s a big time momma’s boy. 

even while his dad talks a lot of smack about him, dominic still attends family events, dinners and the works, to please his dad and so it wouldn’t be stressful on his mom. 

CAREER 

dominic is a nerd, a smartass. his grades were always high, especially when it came to liberal arts.

it wasn’t really his choice if he went into university, it was expected. dominic didn’t think much of it besides that he had to do it. 

he went to columbia university for law, and he got his degree in that, and he was doing his graduate legal studies until he got scouted by the New York Knicks.

he grew up with a lot of stress riding on his back, and being the middle child really sucked when you had to have as much of responsibility as the oldest, still be looked at as the younger sibling but at the same time having to take care of the youngest. 

what he did on his past time was run. whether it was around the block, or around the track, dominic found it peaceful just to be by himself where his heart rate went up to the point he couldn’t breathe and he’d fall onto the ground. years of doing so earned him a spot on the track + field team, and because he was good at it, his dad put him in on basketball teams since he was fast enough to make home runs - multiple times.

Basketball was never his first choice at anything, if he could, dominic would do track and field but as far as his dad was concerned, basketball was the better path between the two. so that’s what he did to please his dad. 

dropping out of columbia though, that was dominic’s choice. he figured, he already got his degree, his masters could be put on hold while he played basketball. 

it seemed like a good idea to him, but since then he has a pretty rocky relationship with his dad.

he was never meant to be the black sheep of the family. he was supposed to have this picture perfect image, probably be the next Barack Obama - but that didn’t work out. 

Being an athlete wasn’t the same as being an academic. it took a lot of work physically, and at the end of the games he was left with such a rush. it was a completely different kind of satisfaction.

PERSONAL LIFE

for once dominic didn’t have to worry about hitting the books or the next test. his main focus was basketball and keeping an image that was easier to maintain. this came with a lot of partying and a lot of - accidents.

one night, when he was too drunk to function, he woke up the next day in a random girl’s bed. not that that was anything special but it definitely was when he got a call saying she was pregnant. so 9 months later, aaliyah strawberry parker came into this world. she is currently 1 year and a few months, and that little babe added a light into dominic’s life. 

he was never prepared to be a dad DILF, but he’s a damn good one! he keeps his life separate when he’s with his daughter.

he’s not with his baby momma, but they have a solid relationship, sometimes rocky, sometimes not but y’know. it happens. 

so far, dominic hasn’t introduce aaliyah to any of his family members except maddison. it’s not a secret, it’s just something he doesn’t want to do considering the rocky relationship he has with his dad. 

currently, besides being a baskeball player and a dad, dominic is just figuring things out as he goes. he loves to read, and paint, and sometimes when he’s bored he’ll take a class on something just to feel mentally stimulated. 

he’s always curious, and loves to travel to wherever he can. 

he’s a mfng fuckboy. just bcos he had a kid, doesn’t mean it’s gonna stop him from messing around. he’s just extra careful with it. 

even tho he’s not talking with his dad, and he’s doing his own thing, he rlly still hopes in a way he’s making his dad proud. 

he gets emo sometimes bc he didn’t turn out the way his parents wanted him to, and cos he doesn’t have the best relationship with them - but that’s why, at the very least he has close friends and siblings. 

he lives by himself in a fairly decent apartment with his turtle that he named franklin, bc he can’t own a sea lion. 

PERSONALITY

dominic is always fun. he was the one in the group of friends that made the jokes, and made everyone feel comfortable. he was always out there hugging his friends and chilling, laying around.

this was the guy that brought a textbook to a party bc he wanted to get lit but also had a test the next day to study for.

he’s been given so many expectations his whole life, he really doesn’t like it now. he just wants to be free and do his own thing.

he cares a lot about people, sometimes he’s too nice and doesn’t see the way it’ll back fire on him.

he’s smart in a lot of other ways. take him to a museum and it’s like returning an alien to the mothership. 

he believes in positive thinking, his mind is always open, and is never one to judge - or he tries not to judge bc he grew up judging other people that he doesn’t want to do that anymore.

he loves to be outdoors and walking around barefoot on the grass. 

a lot of things come easy to him. he’s sociable and charming, and loves adventure.

WANTED CONNECTIONS 

some connections based off of muse posts :)

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

besides that, i’m down for anything !

unrequited connections

toxic relationship/friendship

brotps

give me a SQUAD

first loves

childhood friendships

sibling type friendships

exes on good and bad terms

all the fwb~ 

creative type friends

enemies plots pls

crossword puzzle friends pls

[chocobroobsession]

I have to get this off my chest

Things are about to get very dark and very serious. I just have to get my thoughts out for my own benefit. Ignore this if you will. I didn’t want to share on my main blog because there are some people I’m not ready to share this story with just yet. I’ll go ahead and warn you of what’s ahead because I don’t want you to get triggered: rape, sexual assault, suicide, depression.

When I was 16, I was raped by my then boyfriend. We were on a date and he indicated that he wanted more from me physically and I panicked. I wasn’t ready for that. I remember saying several things: I’m not ready. I don’t think I want that. Not yet. Not now. 

Well, he did it all anyway. Up until that point, I had always been such a fighter, but in that moment, I froze. I disassociated. I retreated inside of my own head and didn’t even put up a fight. I realize now that it probably lasted only a few minutes, but to me, it was hours. I was so scared. I was in pain. 

Afterwards, I asked him to drive me home where I spent the rest of the night sobbing and trying to clean the feeling of him off of my skin. I rubbed myself raw in the shower the next morning, trying to scrub my entire body with the hottest water I could stand. I puked. I bawled. 

When I went back to school on Monday, I thought that maybe if I could hide it, then no one would have to know. Instead, I was met with harsh stares and whispers. Turns out, he got to school before me and told everyone what happened. Only, he twisted the story. I was the goody-two-shoes who was a secret nymphomaniac. I practically begged him to fuck me. I did such kinky things. 

I was mortified. He lied and yet, everyone believed him. When I tried to suggest otherwise, I was immediately dismissed. My own friends believed him. People I had known since kindergarten. I spent the rest of the week being called things such as slut, whore, skank, and nympho. All of the girls sneered at me while the guys high-fived him and then asked if I would be willing to fuck them too. It was awful. I had never felt so alone in my life. I didn’t want to tell my parents because if my own friends didn’t believe me, why would they? I just knew they’d find a way to blame me for it all anyway.

Then the thought hit me--what if I’m pregnant? I wasn’t on birth control. I had been a virgin and wasn’t sure if/when I would decide to become sexually active. I was only 16 after all. My parents didn’t believe in abortion, so if was pregnant, I knew they would force me to have the baby. Perhaps they wouldn’t make me keep it, but there was no way they’d let me end it. So that’s when I decided that if I showed signs of pregnancy, I was going to kill myself. 

I was at peace with my decision. I had initially thought of killing myself to save myself the embarrassment of the situation, but then I talked myself out of it. I could survive. I could make it to graduation and then never see any of these horrible people again. But could I survive with that monster’s baby inside of me? The answer was no.

Now that the horrible part is out of the way, we can fast forward. Obviously, I didn’t end up pregnant and I didn’t commit suicide. For years, I was plagued by nightmares--reliving the situation over and over again. I had bouts of insomnia followed by frequent sleep paralysis. It was really really rough. I also tried telling myself that perhaps I brought the whole situation on myself. I did go out with him that night. I should have known better. I didn’t remember specifically saying “NO”, so therefore it didn’t count.

Well, now that I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser, I realize that this wasn’t the case. No means no. Not yet means no. I’m not sure means no. No can have many synonyms. 

You can go into a situation expecting sex and then change your mind. You can always change your mind. Your partner has to respect that. Even if that partner is your boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend/fwb/spouse. You are not obligated to have sex. Ever. It’s always ultimately your decision and you always have the right to change your decisions. It’s not final; not set in stone.

It’s been 12 years since that happened to me. Over a decade. And it still haunts me sometimes. But I have grown. I have healed some. I have people who love and support me. I suffered from depression before it happened, and I still do, but now I’m on a good med that helps. I do what works for me.

Recently, I was chatting with a group of friends. One brought up a high profile celebrity sexual assault/rape case and really managed to piss me off with her views. Now, mind you, as an adult, I am trying to be open-minded to other people’s views, but this struck a nerve. 

She was saying that people shouldn’t bring up things that happened decades ago and that they should just “get over themselves”. That didn’t sit well with me. I mean, the past is in the past, but trauma tends to not have an expiration date. I mentioned that as a survivor, I still get haunted by the past occasionally. The petty side of me could totally see why someone would try to ruin someone’s life decades after the fact. If the guy who did this to me was up for a position of power and I had the chance to possibly ruin him, would I do it? I don’t know. The petty side of me would probably jump at the chance. I mean, in a perfect world, people should have to atone for their wrongdoings, and he never did that. 

Don’t get me wrong: I do believe people can change. The tiny optimistic part of me hopes that all people see their mistakes and work to correct them and be better people. Yes, even murderers and rapists. Obviously, that’s not always the case, but a girl can dream.

But when I confronted this friend about how her views might contribute to the toxic rape culture here and how it’s easier said than done when it comes to “getting over” traumatic things, she dismissed me. It hurt. I told her it was so bad back then that I nearly killed myself, and she dismissed that too. She berated me for it. Said that I should have known that nothing is worth killing myself over.

I mean, technically she’s not wrong, but you don’t just say that. To a teenager, life is nothing but school and your friends and your reputation among your peers. When that gets thrown off balance, it does seem like the world is ending. I mean, that is your world. For me personally, depression makes me selfish. All I can focus on is myself. How I hate myself. How other people make me feel awful. How I can’t handle life. So naturally, 16-year-old depressed me couldn’t see how taking my life would affect others. I see now that it wouldn’t have been worth it, but that’s now. That’s 12 years later. This is after seeing how my life improved. Until you experience it, you don’t know what it feels like. And even then, we all experience it differently. Believe me, I don’t wish it on anyone.

So this conversation just got me brooding and thinking. We all experience depression and trauma differently. Some of us are able to “get over it’ quickly and easily, but some of us take a long time to heal. Sometimes, we don’t experience complete healing. We struggle with it the rest of our lives. But no matter how you handle it, YOU ARE VALID. Now, is it healthy for you to dwell on the negativity constantly and let it consume you? Well, no. That may happen at first, but you do need to learn to handle things. Do what you need to do to healthily cope. Seek resources. Go to therapy. Get on medication. Spend time with friends and family. Do all of the above or none of the above. Do what works for you to heal and get on with your life. You may never “get over it”, but you can continue with your life and find a reason to live. 

You may find times in your life that you need to pause. Maybe you need to grieve for a while. Maybe all you need is a helping hand. A shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen. Whatever you need, don’t let people tell you the “right way” to deal. It has taken me years to get to the point where I can mention what happened without full on sobbing. Yes, I still cry, and maybe once I year I have a nightmare, but for me personally, I found ways to heal. I’m scarred, sure, but I’m living life and trying to get better every day. 

I’m not sure where I was going with all of this. I just had a jumble of thoughts in my head that I had to get out. If you stuck around this long, thanks. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I can’t promise I’ll be able to help, but I’ll be able to listen. You’re not alone. 

Please, don’t dismiss people who are dealing with grief, trauma, and/or depression. We all deal differently and at different paces. Just be a friend. Be an ally. Speak up for those who can’t or are too afraid to. Because of this toxic rape culture, there are people too afraid to speak up. I know this because I’m one of them. This is my first time publicly admitting anything. But it’s a step in my own healing process. We need more kindness in the world. Just be kind.