#Dissaociative identify disorder

[sasarahsunshine]

I have a strange tendency to create alternate universes in which my favorite character has a dissociative identity disorder. In this case Hotch so imagine that due to the abuse at the hands of his father Hotch and Aaron are two different personalities hotch just stopped taking control once their father died and Aaron had control most of the time or at least That was until David Rossi told Hotch that he would be very useful in the FBI. the one who joined the FBI was Hotch not Aaron. Aaron is the loving husband and lawyer while Hotch is the serious and stoic FBI agent. I just have one question, how do you think the team would find out?

Anon, my sweet Anon— your brain is so amazing. Like, oh my goodness.

So I personally have not done any research whatsoever into DID, all I know is what I’ve seen in various media’s online (tiktok mostly- which I know isn’t a good place to get information but some people on there like to share their own DID experiences), and the couple of episodes of Criminal Minds where they explored it (however I have read that Tobias wasn’t a good example of it).

In a fictional sense, I could see this being executed really well on the show (or in a fic). Especially if nobody knows about the two different personalities (or even if only Rossi knows).

Hotch is this stoic, no nonsense unit chief. He’s a badass who takes care of his team, his family, and his “unit” (I’m not sure if everyone with DID calls their multiple personalities a unit but I have seen two different people call themselves that so… idk). He comes out when things get too overwhelming for Aaron to handle. When emotions and tensions are high, Hotch fronts to take care of things.

I can think of some perfect examples of this too! Like when Emily and Reid were trapped inside the church of that cult? And the governor showed up to try and regain control of the situation- Hotch just got in his face and told him off. “Those are my people,” type of attitude. The whole “sit down and shut up” scene in the Alaska episode too- ugh.

And then when the team needs a calm mind, a soft hand, a small smile to show that they’re doing the right thing- that they did okay- Aaron is there. He’s a father first, a friend second. He cares too much and his heart is too fragile.

I’d like to think there might be another personality in there, but with no name. The broken man who seeps through the cracks every once in a while, gripping that glass of whiskey as he sits alone in his apartment, staring at a photo on his desk of Haley. Someone who is there to deal with the emotions Aaron can’t handle. Someone to cry and scream and punch the wall so Aaron doesn’t have to feel the burden of Hotch’s failure as a husband and father.

Okay that got sad, whoops.

Gonna talk about the team finding out under the cut!

Also, I legit think is anyone found out it would be Reid first. Not because I’m a Hotchreid whore, I swear. I legit think that he would know what to look for after the Tobias incident, and it would kind of be an accident. He would be speaking with Hotch and notice the subtle shift in facial features, the faraway look in his eyes as Aaron fronts for a moment to check on his team. He’d take note of that, maybe store the info in the back of his mind. Then pay attention as it happens again. Eventually he’d find a safe place to speak with the man, alone, to ask about it as delicately as he can (once he has enough evidence on his side). Hotch would be reluctant to admit anything, but Aaron might feel a weird sort of relief that he has someone to share his secret with.

Over the years he might eventually feel safe enough to tell some people. Garcia first, because he knows she’d love and accept him no matter what. She promises not to tell his secret as she hugs him, burying her face into his shoulder and telling him how ungodly happy she is that he trusts her with something so big. (I can see her getting or making him some sort of gift, kinda like the reversible octopus toys? One side is for Hotch and the other is for Aaron. Aaron thinks it’s cute, Hotch feels weird about having a toy on his desk lol).

When he tells Emily she just smiles and places her hand on his. She doesn’t really say anything, but she kind of insinuates that she knew. Which, she might have. She’s been a spy, for crying out loud. That woman has seen shit, lol, and she’s observant. Unlike Reid, she just left Hotch alone about it. But she feels endlessly grateful that he feels safe enough to tell her (even if it’s 6-7 years after they met). Emily is the only one who can help him front who he needs (Hotch or Aaron) when in situations where it’s almost impossible (panic attacks for example). She learned trigger words on her own.

Hotch doesn’t tell Morgan, not with words. They’re at a bar after closing a case but before going home. It’s just the two of them, sitting at the high top and sipping from their beers, watching whatever sport is on the TV (not paying attention). Hotch let’s himself slip and Aaron fronts. Morgan watches the shift, the way his facial features relax a little, his eyes dazed for a moment before brightening up again. Aaron glances at him after that, and Morgan understands. He doesn’t say anything, just tips his beer and clinks it with Aaron’s. They don’t talk about it.

I honestly have no clue how JJ would find out, but I can imagine Garcia or Emily tells her. She’s kinda weirded out at first because she doesn’t understand (and her only experience with someone with DID almost killed her best friend). She’s wary around Hotch for a week or so, but eventually goes back to the way things were when she can see that he’s still the same person he’s always been.

And then Rossi just watches the team in the bullpen, laughing and goofing off, as he sips his coffee from his own office, and he smiles. Because Aaron is with them, leaning against Emily’s desk and pretending to be annoyed that they’re not doing their work. And Rossi is glad that Aaron has a family he can be himself around. That he can be both Hotch AND Aaron around.

[show-you-the-lights]

okay I know, The Final Problem was NOT what anyone was expecting, at all. But here are some of the things I enjoyed, and some of the things I didn’t like, and some of the things I have to say because I gotta get this off my chest...

it ??? literally ended with Parent!Lock!?? 

And I .... thinkk.... like, to me, this ended canon. I mean, it is soon after Mary’s death so you can’t expect John to move on too quickly, but if you consider that... like, Sherlock has trouble identifying his emotions (not feelign them, identifying them, I think) so I don’t think there would be a “””big reveal’’’ scene like to me it seems like it would be unrealistic (although queer representation would have been splendid); and like following The Hug .... we didn’t get ONE joke abt them not being together / John being A Straight, and we did get things like the “it’s family” “that’s why he stays”, and John and Sherlock working together to prank Mycroft, and a John and Mary moved in with Sherlock like YES, and Mary’s statement of what they could be without her (and i think with that they kinda glance at each other) and them comforting each other throughout the various games..... like I think it ended canon but not explicit i really think that okay

 at the start, when Mycroft first grabbed his umbrella-sword? and?? used his PHONE FLASHLIGHT (i died)

John and Sherlock pranking Mycroft ... but doing it so Extra , like John went home and was like “oi Sherlock? you might have a second sibling?? and i think the only way to get it out of Mycroft would be if we played a massive prank on him and made him scared for his life?!? and Sherlock said yeah?? 

John’s little smile with the “it’s family” “that’s why he stays”

REDBEARD WAS A CHILD JESUS CHRIST and I think that was an interesting twist and like some of you guys had suspected that Redbeard was more then a dog

so many of you predicted the whole “What if Sherlock was locked in a room w Mycroft and John and forced to choose one (1) to kill?”

with the scene jumping out of the blown up room at the start, the difference between Ben and Martin is hilarious- Martin is all flailing limbs and Ben looks lowkey gorgeous

Mycroft was so interesting this episode

that was a pretty brilliant explanation of why Sherlock didn’t recognise “Faith”

okay I know that a mental illess does NOT excuse unacceptable behaviour. But, Euros was an amazing character (in my opinion). Like, in the past we’ve been explicitly told that someone like Sherlock could easily be evil due to all that unused intellect, and I think it was good to contrast how someone with intellectual abilities like him / more then him can be evil like Euros or good-ish like Sherlock and Mycroft, like ahhhh. And?? She clearly dissaociates/suffers from some severe personality disorder? So the other Holmes kids are super smart and she is super smart + just not thinking right and the consequences for that were interesting to see. PLus, I liked the realistic sympathy that Sherlock showed for her towards the end, seeing how she is traumatized, and with talking her down and the embrace and the violin duet/s, he really does care for her, I think, and sympathises her but at the same time yes please keep her locked up

and on that note the concept of them communicating throuh music is gorgeous 

and the plane metaphor that Euros created for herself was amazing

I don’t think? Sherlolly was canon at all??? to me it looked like Molly seeing that she could get something out of sherlock rn and when he says it, i think she knows it isn’t real but she is still allowing herself to soak it up and pretend? he meant it to save her... didn’t he????

the breaking of the coffin pls oH MY GOD his emotions it was amazing to see all his emotions this episode

Mrs Hudson vacuuming to that song (idk what song it is unfortunately but I recognise it)

I also liked how they didn’t cheapen Moriarty’s death by bringing him back (pls no) because if two people made it off that rooftop alive? then is anything even real?? and Euros did make a statement like “intersting how Moriarty had never really been interested in being alive, especially if being dead would be so much more exciting” like Moriarty is the real suicidal one here and to me it seems like someting he would get behind

sherlock being unable to choose between Mycroft and John oh my

Mycroft intentionally being a Dick to make it easier for his brother?! i did think it was legit and when Sherlock explained I was like !!!!! that is thoughtful in the oddest way, like something only Mycroft could do

Euros raped someone and can’t even remember what gender they were WOW she is screwed

Euros said that sherlock had sex 

Mrs Hudson offering tea and telling Mycroft to get the kettle himself

Mary’s Baker Street Boys

an explanation of Sherlock’s backstory, who the third Holmes is, who Redbeard was and... finally the answered question ..... whyyy is Sherlock so careful to set emotion aside

mycroft? using trigger words to asses Sherlock’s state??? how did that work? did he like say a word and gauge the reaction

the whole episode was so dark and psychotic

Greg’s statement abt the good man thing in reference to ep1

Look, to me the episode wasn’t perfect (plot holes that should have been dealt with, tbh it was kindaaaa queerbait) but but but 

we got an amazing Holmes backstory and, in my mind, it ended with Sherlock and John moving in together with little Rosie, going back to solving cases together, explaining to Molly the situation and her understanding over time, continuing to work with Greg, dealing with Mycroft’s bs, leaving Rosie to stay with Mrs Hudson when they are staying up late on a case, Sherlock visiting Euros to perform duets, and, following The Hug and Mary’s “I know what you could become” and the parent!lock and the family comment, I think that they would have slowly shifted more and more into lovers untill it happens without either of them really realising it because they both know each other so well and care for each other so deeply 

I’m kind of content, quite frankly

but yeah not perfect