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snowboyclarkov · 1 year ago

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Everybody Is Dead...!

In the Metal Fight Beyblade verse, Rago is capable via Diablo Nemesis of absorbing the power of his opponent and gaining their abilities. He can also gain the abilities and power of everyone that opponent has fought from the beginning to the present.

Despite this, Pluto states that Nemesis has the power of every bey in the world by the time he and Rago do battle with the Legendary Bladers and company. It opens the door to a potential trickle down effect that would go on and on. It makes Rago's main ability one of the most horrifying in any verse.

This got me thinking about another potential trickle down that could be applied to another overpowered deity. This one being of light rather than destruction. Galeem. Due to the incredible amount of crossovers and cameos that can be traced via some path to someone within the Super Smash Bros verse, there's a disturbing amount of verses that are almost certainly reduced to non-existence alongside everyone that ever existed within that verse by the Lord of Light and it's "Everybody Is Dead" attack. That isn't counting restoring the verses back into existence and shuffling them while everyone in them become mindless slaves. Even the verses with stages, Mii outfits and music have potential to be completely screwed. A scenario like this would represent the absolute highest limit of Galeem's power...

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The Verses In Danger of Becoming Un-Made and Un-Alived

Section 1

Super Mario

Donkey Kong (verse)

The Legend of Zelda

Metroid

Yoshi's Island

Kirby (verse) - Kirby dies if either Galeem or Dharkon win in the end, having barely escaped Galeem's initial onslaught.

Star Fox

Pokémon

Mother

F-Zero

Ice Climber

Fire Emblem

Game & Watch

Kid Icarus

Wario (verse)

Metal Gear

Sonic the Hedgehog - Includes Frontiers, so Sage becomes un-alive. The End gets Galeem'd too.

Pikmin

R.O.B. (verse)

Animal Crossing

Mega Man (verse)

Wii - Includes Wii Fit, Wii Sports, Wii Party, et cetera. Part of the wider Mii verse.

Punch-Out!!

Pac-Man (verse)

Xenoblade Chronicles

Duck Hunt

Street Fighter

Final Fantasy

Bayonetta (verse)

Splatoon

Castlevania

Persona

Dragon Quest

Banjo-Kazooie

Fatal Fury

Arms

Minecraft

Tekken

Kingdom Hearts

The King of Fighters

Section 2

Paper Mario

Streetpass Mii Plaza - Part of the wider Mii verse.

Pilotwings - Part of the wider Mii verse.

Nintendo Land - Part of the wider Mii verse.

Sheriff (verse)

Baseball (verse)

Tennis (verse)

Devil World

Urban Champion

Clu Clu Land

Balloon Fight

Excite

Mach Rider

The Mysterious Murasame Castle

Famicom Mukashibanashi

Ice Hockey (verse)

Famicom Grand Prix

Famicom Wars

Advance Wars

Detective Club - Also known as Famicom Detective Club

Joy Mech

Yakuman

X (verse)

The Frog For Whom The Bell Tolls

Mole Mania

Card Hero

SimCity

Battle Clash

Stunt Race FX

Panel de Pon

Marvelous

Sutte Hakkun

Origin of the Forest

Teleroboxer

Wave Race

1080°

Custom Robo

Sin and Punishment

Kuru Kuru Kururin

Napoleon (verse)

Golden Sun

Magical Starsign

Tomato Adventure

The Legendary Starfy

Thousand Year Family

The Tower

Drill Dozer

Calciobit

Rhythm Heaven

Cubivore

Eternal Darkness

GiFTPiA

Baten Kaitos

Chibi Robo!

Jam With The Band

Another Code

Electroplankton

Brain Age

Big Brain Academy

Elite Beat Agents

Project Hacker

Chōsōjū Mecha MG

Hotel Dusk

Kurikin Nano Island Story

Number Battle

Slide Adventure MAGKID

Archaic Sealed Heat

Make 10

Soma Bringer

Fossil Fighters

Glory of Heracles

Personal Trainer: Cooking

Style Savvy

Art Academy

Looksley's Line Up

Tsukutte Utau: Saru Band

Fatal Frame

Captain Rainbow

Disaster: Day of Crisis

Takt of Magic

Zangeki no Reginliev

And-Kensaku

FlingSmash

The Last Story

Pandora's Tower

Nintendogs

Steel Diver

Pushmo

Sakura Samurai

Swapnote - Part of the wider Mii verse.

Kiki Trick

Dillon's Rolling Western

Shovel Knight

Culdcept

HarmoKnight

Fluidity

Nintendoji

Rusty's Real Deal Baseball

Nintendo Badge Arcade

BoxBoy!

Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.

Ever Oasis

Sushi Striker

The Wonderful 101

Rayman (verse)

Snipperclips

Galaga

Bomberman (verse)

Virtua Fighter

Monster Hunter

Shantae (verse)

Nintendo Labo - Part of the real world.

Daemon X Machina

Tetris

Art of Fighting

Samurai Shodown

Psycho Soldier

Ikari Warriors

Resident Evil

Astral Chain

River City

Cuphead (verse)

Warframe

Ring Fit Adventure

Mana

Octopath Traveler

Bravely Default

Ghosts 'n Goblins

Sakuna: of Rice and Ruin

No More Heroes

Wrecking Crew

Section 3

Pictochat

Tomodachi - Also known as Tomodachi Life. Part of the wider Mii verse.

Miiverse - Part of the wider Mii verse.

Fallout

Doom

Babylonian Castle Saga

Goemon (verse)

Assassin's Creed

The Elder Scrolls

Devil May Cry

Shin Onigashima

Yūyūki

Nintendo Hardware - Includes Mii Channel, Wii Shop Channel, etc.

AR Games

Freakyforms

NES Remix

Tank Troopers

Undertale

Miitopia

Section 4

Soul [via The Legend of Zelda]

The Walking Dead [via Tekken]

Spawn (verse) [via Soul]

Mortal Kombat [via Spawn]

God of War [via Soul]

A Nightmare On Elm Street [via Mortal Kombat]

Friday The 13th [via Mortal Kombat]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre [via Mortal Kombat]

Predator [via Mortal Kombat]

Alien [via Mortal Kombat]

Terminator [via Mortal Kombat]

Robocop [via Mortal Kombat]

Rambo [via Mortal Kombat]

Injustice [via DC]

DC [via Mortal Kombat]

Hellboy [via Injustice]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [via Injustice]

Power Rangers [via Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]

Star Trek [via Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]

Masters of the Universe [via Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]

Star Wars [via Soul]

The Witcher [via Soul]

NieR [via Soul]

Drakengard [via NieR]

Indiana Jones [via Star Wars]

Dead By Daylight [via Alien]

Halloween [via Dead By Daylight]

Left 4 Dead [via Dead By Daylight]

Saw [via Dead By Daylight]

Scream [via Dead By Daylight]

Evil Dead [via Dead By Daylight]

Stranger Things [via Dead By Daylight]

Silent Hill [via Dead By Daylight]

World Wrestling Entertainment [via Mortal Kombat] - part of the real world.

Section 5

PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale [via Metal Gear]

Uncharted [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

LittleBig Planet [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

Ratchet & Clank [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

Jak & Daxter [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

Gravity Rush [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

BioShock [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

Dead Space [via PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale]

DreamMix TV World Fighters [via Castlevania]

Transformers [via DreamMix TV World Fighters]

Bakuten Shoot Beyblade [via DreamMix TV World Fighters] - Part of a wider Beyblade verse.

Beyblade X [via Bakuten Shoot Beyblade] - Part of a wider Beyblade verse.

Beyblade Burst [via Transformers] - Part of a wider Beyblade verse.

Metal Fight Beyblade [via Beyblade Burst] - Part of a wider Beyblade verse.

Section 6

Astro's Playroom [via Tekken]

The Last of Us [via Astro's Playroom]

Horizon Zero Dawn [via Astro's Playroom]

Ghost of Tsushima [via Astro's Playroom]

Resistance [via Astro's Playroom]

ICO [via Astro's Playroom] - Includes Shadow of the Colossus & The Last Guardian

Bloodborne [via Astro's Playroom]

Tomb Raider [via Astro's Playroom]

Crash Bandicoot [via Astro's Playroom]

Spyro the Dragon [via Astro's Playroom]

Legacy of Kain [via Astro's Playroom]

Brawlhalla [via Tomb Raider]

Ben 10 [via Brawlhalla]

Steven Universe [via Brawlhalla]

Section 7

Project x Zone [via Street Fighter]

Ace Attorney [via Project x Zone]

Professor Layton [via Ace Attorney]

Darkstalkers [via Project x Zone]

Resonance of Fate [via Project x Zone]

Marvel vs. Capcom [via Street Fighter]

Marvel [via Marvel vs. Capcom]

Disney [via Marvel]

Pixar [via Disney]

Fortnite [via Street Fighter]

Unreal [via Fortnite]

Who Framed Roger Rabbit [via Disney]

Looney Tunes [via Who Framed Roger Rabbit]

Betty Boop [via Who Framed Roger Rabbit]

Woody Woodpecker [via Who Framed Roger Rabbit]

Droopy [via Who Framed Roger Rabbit]

Space Jam [via Looney Tunes]

Ōkami [via Marvel vs. Capcom]

Dead Rising [via Marvel vs. Capcom]

Section 8

Blazblue [via Persona] - Includes Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle

Under Night In-Birth [via Blazblue]

RWBY [via Blazblue]

Vocaloid [via Persona] - Specifically, through Hatsune Miku. Crypton Vocaloids and Internet Co. Ltd. Vocaloids all affected. Includes Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA.

Arcana Heart [via Blazblue]

Senran Kagura [via Blazblue]

Akatsuki Blitzkampf [via Blazblue]

Dead or Alive [via Senran Kagura]

Super Sonico [via Senran Kagura]

Neptunia [via Senran Kagura]

Just Dance [via Vocaloid]

Like A Dragon [via Vocaloid] - Also known as Yakuza.

The Idolmaster [via Vocaloid]

Shinkansen Henkei Robo Shinkalion [via Vocaloid]

Neon Genesis Evangelion [via Shinkansen Henkei Robo Shinkalion]

Godzilla [via Shinkansen Henkei Robo Shinkalion]

Lucky Star [via Vocaloid]

Haruhi Suzumiya [via Lucky Star]

Groove Coaster [via Vocaloid]

Hololive [via Groove Coaster]

Kizuna AI [via Groove Coaster]

Aikatsu! [via Vocaloid]

Pretty Series [via Aikatsu!]

Ace Combat [via The Idolmaster]

God Eater [via The Idolmaster]

Granblue Fantasy [via The Idolmaster]

Katamari Damacy [via The Idolmaster]

Taiko no Tatsujin [via The Idolmaster]

Ridge Racer [via The Idolmaster]

Tales [via The Idolmaster]

Super Robot Wars [via The Idolmaster]

Smite [via RWBY]

Avatar: The Last Airbender [via Smite]

Nicktoons Unite! [via Avatar: The Last Airbender]

SpongeBob SquarePants [via Nicktoons Unite!]

The Fairly OddParents! [via Nicktoons Unite!]

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Invader Zim [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Danny Phantom [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Rugrats [via Nicktoons Unite!]

My Life As A Teenage Robot [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Ren & Stimpy [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Halo [via Dead or Alive]

Forza [via Halo]

Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE [via Fire Emblem]

Shin Megami Tensei [via Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE]

The Loud House [via Nicktoons Unite!]

Touhou Project [via Groove Coaster]

Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond/James May [via Forza]

Katawa Shoujo [via Haruhi Suzumiya] - Galeem's whole thing seems like something out of Rin Tezuka's worst nightmares.

Section 9

Lego Dimensions [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

The Lord of the Rings [via Lego Dimensions]

Harry Potter [via Lego Dimensions]

Back to the Future [via Lego Dimensions]

The Lego Movie [via Lego Dimensions]

Jurassic Park [via Lego Dimensions]

Adventure Time [via Lego Dimensions]

Ghostbusters [via Lego Dimensions]

Mission: Impossible [via Lego Dimensions]

The Powerpuff Girls [via Lego Dimensions]

Knight Rider [via Lego Dimensions]

Gremlins [via Lego Dimensions]

The Goonies [via Lego Dimensions]

The Wizard of Oz [via Lego Dimensions]

Portal [via Lego Dimensions] - Includes Half-Life

Legends of Chima [via Lego Dimensions]

The A-Team [via Lego Dimensions]

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial [via Lego Dimensions]

Beetlejuice [via Lego Dimensions]

Scooby Doo [via Lego Dimensions]

Ninjago [via Lego Dimensions]

Doctor Who [via Lego Dimensions]

O.K. K.O.! Let's Be Heroes [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

RPG World [via O.K. K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]

Captain Planet [via O.K. K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]

Wacky Races [via O.K. K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]

Angry Birds [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Hello Kitty [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Gundam [via Hello Kitty]

Super Monkey Ball [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Jet Set Radio [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Crazy Taxi [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

House of the Dead [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Billy Hatcher & the Giant Egg [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Shenmue [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Space Channel 5 [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Skies of Arcadia [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

NiGHTS Into Dreams [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Team Fortress 2 [via Sonic the Hedgehog]

Fall Guys [via Team Fortress 2]

Poker Night At The Inventory [via Team Fortress 2]

Sam & Max [via Poker Night At The Inventory]

Homestar Runner [via Poker Night At The Inventory]

Penny Arcade [via Poker Night At The Inventory]

Borderlands [via Poker Night At The Inventory]

The Venture Brothers [via Poker Night At The Inventory]

Section 10

The Simpsons [via Super Mario]

Futurama [via The Simpsons]

Family Guy [via The Simpsons] - Includes American Dad!.

Bob's Burgers [via The Simpsons]

Rick & Morty [via The Simpsons]

Cheers [via The Simpsons] - Includes Frasier.

The X-Files [via The Simpsons]

Archer [via The Simpsons]

King of the Hill [via The Simpsons]

South Park [via The Simpsons]

Tamagotchi [via Super Mario]

Shaun The Sheep [via Super Mario Maker] - Includes Wallace & Gromit.

Nisekoi [via Super Mario Maker]

Monogatari [via Nisekoi]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica [via Monogatari]

Onegai My Melody [via Super Mario Maker]

Shinya Arino [via Super Mario Maker] - Part of the real world.

Babymetal [via Super Mario Maker] - Part of the real world.

Section 11

Naruto [via Tekken]

One Piece [via Naruto]

Bleach [via Naruto]

Dragon Ball [via Naruto]

Yu-Gi-Oh! [via Naruto]

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure [via Naruto]

My Hero Academia [via Naruto]

Digimon [via Tekken]

Fist of the North Star [via Naruto]

Urusei Yatsura [via Fist of the North Star]

Ranma 1/2 [via Urusei Yatsura]

InuYasha [via Urusei Yatsura]

Section 12

DuckTales [via Minecraft] - Includes Quack Pack and Darkwing Duck.

Toy Story [via Minecraft]

Pirates of the Caribbean [via Minecraft]

Quake [via Doom]

Wolfenstein [via Doom]

Commander Keen [via Doom]

Yooka-Laylee [via Shovel Knight]

Creepy Castle [via Shovel Knight]

Super Meat Boy [via Shovel Knight]

Cave Story [via Shovel Knight]

Five Night's At Freddy's [via Shovel Knight]

Enter The Gungeon [via Super Meat Boy]

The Binding of Isaac [via Super Meat Boy]

...and this list isn't even all of them. By far.

Here's a full chart that someone that isn't me made. It includes Warhammer, so the Emperor of Mankind was murdered or possibly deleted from existence. I doubt that would be allowed to stand. Ever.

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count-demonlord-of-decadence · 8 months ago

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Fortress Decadence

“Welcome to Inqaba Ukuwohloka.” said a man and woman in Elizabethan era butler outfits as you entered the lavish mansion designed by Kazuyo Sejima as a love song to Giyōfū architecture, the mansion was completed on August 10, 2019. The main entrance hall is a beehive of social activity with people in and out of dress, in and out of costume mingling, flirting and otherwise interacting. Several celebrities are within your sight, Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy introduces herself to you, as do Jamie Marchi, Vince McMahon, Jacinda Ardern, Jeffrey A. Rosen, Rose Montoya and Jay-Z. Ellen DeGeneres, Jake Busey, Meghan Markle, Anita Sarkeesian, Keanu Reeves, Megan Thee Stallion, Prince William, Greta Gerwig and Tucker Carlson do not. The further in you go the more casual the attire becomes as does the atmosphere. You bump fists with Joe Rogan, Tom Kenny, Joseph Buttafuoco and Cynthia Erivo. A very drunk Kim Tok Hun bumps into while putting his tie on his head, prompting you to bump into Samia Suluhu Hassan who introduces herself but doesn't recognize you and quickly walks away. A crying Dak Prescott dashes past you, a midget dressed as He-man offers you a cup of applesauce and Ke$ha, looking like Amélie, sprays you with Obsession for men. A tray of Angels on horseback is presented to you just before a man who looks a lot like Claudio Castagnoli wearing a lot of makeup kisses you on both cheeks and is off into the crowd before you can react. A person that can only be described as Tipper Gore cosplaying as Pizzazz, the main vocalist, rhythm guitarist and leader of the fictional rock band The Misfits, apologizes and hands you a pink bellini, which is taken away by someone in a black and white Korean girl’s high school uniform with a gray horse head mask on who directs you to the bar upstairs while dodging a plate of Tokwa’t baboy being offered to you. A dashing Frenchman in an all shark skin gray three piece suit helps you avoid a glass of champagne spilt by Mahdi al-Mashat, only to be separated from him by Elon Musk laughing hysterically. A man clearly older than your father, wearing nothing but a reddish pink feather boa and a matching bandana in his gorgeous hair, gently pinches your bottom and scampers off before you can protest, he is caught and beaten by the crowd, which he rather enjoyed. A tray of Bakwan is offered to you but knocked over as a brawl erupts between rather large men dressed in ill fitting tuxedos yelling at each other in Greek. Katerina Sakellaropoulou said they were fighting over her, while wearing an all too revealing desert brown dress. She takes two of the Rumaki on a tray being offered to you when you are intimately greeted by Mosch. No age, no race, no gender, no labels, no touching; just Mosch. The Dalton Castle entrance attire, bronze tan, make up, flamboyant gesticulations and platinum blonde 1980’s rock god hair gave away nothing.

Mosch takes you to an elevator with six other people in it. One was a priest who looked exactly like the American Gothic painting. One was actor Billy Campbell, trying not to get noticed. Three are dressed as businessmen who are snickering whilst playing a game of who can release the worst fart. The last is a Palestinian man enjoying the farts. Only you and Mosch exit to the second floor, which is more of a nightclub setting which Mosch laments, then has a mood swing after spotting a young lad in tight Lederhosen and drags you to the bar. He orders, “A Zima for my friend and a martini for me. Three measures of Tanqueray Rangpur, one of Ciroc, half a measure of La Quintinye Extra Dry Vermouth. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add three speared pimento stuffed olives. Got it?”

After correcting your drink order, Dillon Francis’ “I.D.G.A.F.O.S.” came on much to Mosche’s excitement and you two dance, never once touching. By the song’s end your drinks are served by a woman in a violet niqāb. Mosche hands you yours after looking at it with dismay, Mosche tips her a fifty dollar bill and you can't help but notice Mosche has no pockets and carries no purse as you're led to an elevator where a man, woman and a nonbinary person were all over each other. Kissing, licking, groping, feeling, biting, wanting. Two of the three invite you to join them but Mosche declines on your behalf while taking in their sight, sounds, aroma and aura.

The third floor is a hookah bar and smoke lounge with terrible tiki lounge decor and a terrific live band. Mosche walks the room, takes a random hit from a hookah, introduces you to Kevin Spacey, takes another random hit, is waved off by Seth Rogan, briefly makes out with a waitress and you're back in the elevator before finishing your drink. You ride with a woman who looks like Megan Merkel trying hard not to get noticed. The Gull Terrier sniffing up her skirt made it impossible. Mosche informs you out of respect the two of you are going to exit at the next floor.

The music of Phinehas 12 decibels too loud, as the doors open to reveal a bondage dungeon. Nothing but leather and steel visible between the bodies. While dragging you to the bar, Mosche stops to introduce you to Joe Biden, who is wearing only a diaper and being walked on a leash by Mistress Rouz. Rouz is 30 years old, 1.77 meters tall and weighs 73 kg. She was born, raised and usually resides in Port Louis, Mauritius. She speaks with a heavy Mauritian Creole accent as she exchanges pleasantries with you and Mosch. She wears a black leotard with far too many accessories to be considered tasteful. She is accompanied by Zelmire, a 14 year old Austrian girl with charming features and curly hair. She is dressed as a bunny girl. Mosche asks Joe where their Lord is but Biden responds but he only barks, as Rouz had commanded. Rouz then says, “But if I were looking for anyone, I’d check the observation lounge.” Mosche thanks her and drags you to the bar where you’re served by a Papuan lad clearly too young to be serving drinks. Mosche orders a dirty version of the drink from before and a light beer for you. Mosche vows not to linger but is distracted by Taylor Swift riding Robert Kraft side saddle, allowing you to correct your drink order and catch a breath. What can only be described as a young Arsenio Hall with stunning golden brown Farrah Fawcett hair, wearing a red leather dominatrix outfit and far too much makeup, stands next to you and says, “I hope you don't mind me coming over, but I've been watching you all evening.” They pause to suggestively eat a speared cherry from their Mojito, “And I want to tear you apart. Your friend as well.”

Before they could move in for the kiss, Mosche pulls you hastily to the elevator where two midgets dressed as cupids are smoking massive cigars, and verbally degrading a red headed obese woman who is loudly masturbating with a Bratz doll.

“The next floor is the S & M suite.” Mosche laments, “I’ve no need to go in, do you? Well we can always come back. I can say the same thing about the Sanguine Suite above us. Let us move on to the school. That’s where our Lord and Master awaits.”

The elevator ride was a bit cramped with Polish strong man Andrzej Zieleniecki and a constantly performing mime joined the five of you in the elevator. The doors open to reveal a hallway filled with lockers and classrooms. All the other occupants exit and a rubenesque Samoan woman in a black and yellow Korean high school uniform beckons the two of you to the first classroom on the right. Her black hair is worn in curled pigtails and side-swept bangs. She smells like ripe cloudberries. Through the window you see what appears to be Bill Cosby giving a lecture about jazz to a class of teenagers. She takes you to the classroom diagonal to the first where R. Kelly is teaching an all girls choir to sing. Moving diagonally again, the next room reveals Kevin Spacey reading to an all boys class. He was wearing nothing but a velour silk robe that clearly wasn't tied. Mosche introduces her, “This is Sophia Wind. She's mute but not deaf. She gets off on showing people things.” Sophia bows and Mosche asks her, “We're looking for our Lord and master, have you seen him?” Mosche doesn't understand her sign language but you correctly guess the library based on her gestures. Mosche is impressed by your cleverness and escorts you back to the elevator where a guy who looks like Skipp Sudduth cosplaying as Jalen Hurts was trying to persuade a cheerleader who favored Madison Curry to give him a blow job. You ride the elevator down back to the smoke lounge so you can use the bathroom purposely designed and decorated with a cold, mechanical feel. Like the kind one would expect to find on a WWI battleship. When you’re finished, Mosche is waiting with drinks. Your’s appears to be what your previous drink was, garnished with an added speared cherry, olive and lime wedge.

Mosche escorts you to the elevator where four guys who resemble Beavis, Butthead and their fathers are standing in the now smoke-filled elevator giggling at each other

You feel a touch light headed as the doors open and the four morons rush out saying, “We’re gonna tip over a cow,”

You’ve entered a stable with the obvious hay, smells and noises, some of which were clearly human. Mosche simply mutters, “Oh no, the dierentuin. We don’t want to be here.” and takes one step before a high pitched voice squeals, “Mosche! Thank God you’re here! I need your help to settle something.”

The voice belongs to a blonde woman with big blue eyes and a model’s figure dressed in an all too sexy cowgirl outfit. The kind only a stripper would wear.

“Please Judy, I'm working.” Mosche laments, gesturing at you.

“What? Oh Hi! I’m Judy Punch, nice to meet you.” She squeaks at you and shakes your hand. Before you can respond she’s back to Mosche, “So I have a problem and you’re the first person I thought of.”

“But Judy, I’m busy.”

“But, you’re already here.”

Mosche dramatically laments before pulling you along while being dragged by Judy. She leads you past three sheep, two horses, two cows and a man fucking a goat while she explains the problem.

“So Viktor and Arse Splitter were arguing about who had the largest dick. I offered to measure for them but I couldn't make Arse Splitter hard.”

“Of course my dear, you're much too old and the wrong gender for that.”

“And now they're trying to fight.” Judy lamented with her squeaky voice.

Viktor, no surname, hails from South Sudan and is very tall at 224 cm. He possesses a hulking, muscular build at 130 kg. His hands are massive enough to close around the entire head of many of his opponents. He is bald and wearing nothing but tape around his hands and feet to protect his knuckles and shins. The man known only as Arse Splitter is 28 years old and hails from Sheffield, England. He has the look of a satyr. He wore a short sleeveless tunic that revealed his genitals.

“I think I understand Judy.” Mosche giggled and took the tape measure before handing you an empty glass. Mosche then whispered sweet nothings into Arse Splitter’s ear all the while making sure not to touch him. And it worked, after 222 seconds he was fully aroused, displaying a penis that is bent saber fashion, it’s head, or glans, is enormous, it is 21 cm in circumference and the shaft 20 cm length. A fine curve to this majestic prick. Viktor’s measured three cm longer but four less in circumference. Judy tips you both twenty dollars after thanking you at a pitch no one would find pleasant. Mosche mutters, “Stupid bitch tipping me like I'm part of the help, what's wrong with her. I hope she gets pregnant and fat.” Mosche concealed the twenty despite having no pockets and escorts you back to the elevator where the red headed obese woman is loudly masturbating while an effeminate anorexic man verbally degrades her. He looks at the two of you and says, “She's not the one who should skip dessert.” And the look Mosche shoots him would've backed down Mike Tyson. He exits as soon as the doors are open wide enough and enters Barack Obama, a young Caucasian man and an older black woman. Mosche introduced you to Lady Eloise Gripenasty, 68 years old and wearing a gold and black Chong sim that revealed her lack of underwear. Christof Select, the youngest capo in the syndicate, wearing a white Armani tuxedo. And the former president is wearing a tuxedo by Versace. Christof is going on about how he can't get a giraffe here on the ride down to the dierentuin, so you don't have an opportunity to chat with Obama before they exit. The elevator stops at the lobby and four elderly white business men enter having a loud discussion about the stocks of aerospace companies and defense contractors. They exit at the club, Mosche calls them perverts and enters a 183 cm tall female bodybuilder from Romania making out with a Mexican boy who was 152 cm tall on his toes and weighed 50 kg at max. Mosche is intrigued and participates as only Mosche can, taking in the sights, smells, sounds and aura, but never touching. The couple exits and Mosche exclaims, “Oh, I’d forgotten about the preschool prostitute ring, shall we indulge? Oh, but I need to introduce you to our Lord and Savior, one more floor up.”

The next floor is the observation lounge which has monitors everywhere displaying the other floors from multiple angles. Everyone who exits is wearing a gray trench coat and matching fedora. Mosche introduces you to TJ Whittenhouse, a man who looks and dresses like a cliched ISTJ. Mosche has him confirm Lionel Virtanen is indeed in the library before heading there. When the elevator arrives a skinny white twink is getting quadruple penetrated by four big buff sweaty black guys vigorously, while they shout every epithet and slur possible. You silently agree when Mosche suggests waiting for the next one, which arrives 100 seconds later with a fresh batch of voyeurs looking to not be noticed. The two of you enter along with a dead ringer for Timothée Chalamet dressed as Raggedy Andy, a 222 kg French chef, the constantly performing mime and Honey Boo-boo. The elevator stops at the S&M suite where the chef exits and three softball players in full West Texas A&M uniforms enter, gossiping about who could fit a bat up their cunt like the whore they did it to. They and Timothée Chalamet exit at what looks and sounds like a gymnasium and a Pakistani couple enters, arguing loudly. This doesn't deter the mime one bit and in fact he incorporates them into the act, which causes them to yell at him and each other. The couple exits at the dierentuin and enters Crown, you know because Mosche gasped his name. Crown is 200 cm tall and a muscular 147 kg. He has long black hair spilling out of his purple and black lion mask and light brown skin. He’s wearing a light blue cowboy jacket with a dark blue poncho, white pants, a black belt, brownish gray shoes and white fingerless gloves. His presence is so commanding it was easy to miss the three other people who entered with him. An Armenian woman in a cute pink Loza Maléombho dress, a Libyan man in a Thebe Magugu tuxedo and a small man in a green screen suit who were clearly intimidated. The mime on the other hand tries to get Crown into his act, to which he respnds, “Déjame en paz antes de que te rompa.” The mime expresses a lack of understanding but continues the act, seeking an explanation from the other passengers. Crown then says, “¡Fuiste advertido pendejo!” and hits the mime with an uppercut that bounces his head off the doors just before they open revealing the Sanguine Suite and its cliche vampire decor. Crown then body slams the mime, mounts him and punches him in the face four times before transitioning to an armbar. The mime’s scream is drowned out by the sound of his ulna breaking then the doors closed. Clearly frazzled, Mosche drags you out of the elevator and into the triage ward, one of the few areas without a full service bar. Mosche is on the verge of a panic attack when a voluptuous woman in a black dress that showed a lot of leg approached. Her steel blue eyes meet yours, she gives you a wink and a smile, then a whorl of curly black hair as she approaches Mosche. And like that, you know everything is going to be alright.

“You’re looking a little ragged right now.” She says in a deep, breathy voice, “Anything I can do to help?”

“Oh Raven!” Mosche laments and hugs her, which shows clear indifference to. “Oh Raven,” Mosche pauses to sob, “I’m just trying to take this one to meet Lionel Virtanen for the first time.”

She pulls a cigarette and a lighter from god knows where and lights it, prompting one of the orderlies to shout, “No smoking in here!”

“Relax sugar, we were just leaving.”

She leads you to the elevator, followed by a man 1.2 meters tall and dressed like an accountant from the 1920s. He was trying desperately to get her attention.

“You know what they say Mosche: The harder the journey, the better the destination.”

The elevator doors opened and four orderlies moved a gurney out. On it, you couldn’t help what appeared to be a mime with a face of pureed beef on it, followed by a skipping Anita Sarkeesian. The green screen suit guy was break dancing to DeBarge was inside as was

Jacinda Ardern, who no one recognized. The three of you, Sendhil Ramamurthy in blood stained scrubs and WNBA star Brittney Griner with a heavily taped left knee enter the elevator. The accountant tries to dash in as the doors close but Raven kicks him in the chin to stop him.

The elevator doors open to a lobby decorated to look like the street front of a discreet Jakarta bar with a half moon rising. There were three people standing outside chatting; Vince McMahon, former president Donald Trump and Kim Belair. Inside is a very classy and impressie decor guarded by two men so large Mosche verbally assumes they were bred for security. But they look at Raven and say, “Welcome back boss.” then eye the rest of you menacingly. Raven turns around with her hands on her ample hips and says, “Mosche and guest. And…” You turn around to see the options only to see everyone followed you out of the elevator and joined the trio standing outside, but they were joined by a cowboy, a female construction worker, a biker, a female GI, a Tsuutʼina Nation chief, a Chinese admiral, a female British cop, three non-discript straight white men and what appeared to be a Syrian gigolo; all wanting the same thing, admittance. “...Jacinda Ardern.” Raven pauses to laugh in a manner uncharacteristic of her look and voice and adds, “And the green man.” There is audible disappointment from those not admitted as they return to whence they came.

“Welcome to the VIP lounge.” Raven breathes as the green man clears the metal detector. In the first booth was a man in a gold lion mask surrounded by a harem of girls far too young to be in such an establishment. They were eating from a cuminall five gallon bucket of neapolitan ice cream. The second was a man in a black bull mask surrounded by a harem of boys far too young to be in such an establishment. They were wrestling for his amusement. A woman in a taxidermy deer mask was choking and cursing at a server in Chinese accented English. The next booth had a man in a yellow panther mask and a man in a polar bear mask smoking massive cigars and casually chatting until they saw you looking at them. You look away but they continue to stare until you’re out of sight. A woman in a gold eagle mask is in the next booth beating a dark skinned man wearing only a loincloth with her fan. Her profanities flow from English to French and back again. The next booth is empty and Raven invites you all to sit as a classical jazz version of What’s Goin’ On plays. Raven takes everyone’s order and is the only one not shocked when the green man speaks in a deep voice with a heavy Welsh accent when ordering a pint of Newcastle. Raven is only gone for 90 seconds before the man in the polar bear mask approaches the table. He is wearing a shiny purple sequined sports coat with a black button up shirt, black slacks with violet pinstripes and the 1994 Nobel Economics prize on a gold chain around his neck. He says, “What kind of rabble are they letting into the VIP lounge these days?” like he’s impersonating Jack Nicholson.

“I know, right?” Mosche laments with a limp wristed dismissal. The man folds his arms, poorly pretending not to be agitated and says, “Seriously, I want to know who you people are and what gives you the right to be in my presence?”

“Who the fuck is this cunt?” Jacinda Ardern asked. The man attempted to strike her but the blow was intercepted by the shin of Baek Hae-Ryeong the rising star in the Taekwondo world. Mosche recognized him and remarked how handsome he was. You notice he’s wearing a loincloth and remember seeing him on the way in. The man in the yellow panther mask was trying to console the man in the polar bear mask who clutches his arm like it’s broken.

“Gāolí bàngzi!” he hisses, “Do you know who I am, how much money and power I have?” he doesn't pause as Raven returns with the drinks and a wink that tells you to let the man finish.

“Of course you don’t and I like it like that! I have enough money and influence over this world to keep my name out the mouths of you people who jumped a border to sell drugs, hijack planes and not speak English as they’re getting railed up the ass by some twink in a turban that jumped another border to escape the Jihad or their corrupt government or some sort of ethnic cleansing or cartels or whatever abomination the Cafri want to infect the rest of the civilized world with!”

A blonde middle aged woman in a gray pants suit that showcased her flat ass, with a white blouse that showcased her flat chest silently stepped from behind the ranting man and asked Mosche, “Mr. Virtanen was expecting 20 minutes ago, what is the delay?”

“This man here said he was more important than anybody else and insisted he had to listen to him.” Mosche blurted out.

“Is this true?” she asks, ignoring her tablet for the first time.

“Yes Ms. Prentiss.” Raven replied. Prentlss looks at the rest of the table and all you can do is nod along with them. Prentiss then turns to the masked man, who only now noticed his friend was nowhere to be seen. “You’re the reason for their delay?” she asked while backing him up by advancing.

“Delay?” At this point he’s backed up to the bar, “Okay look I may have had some choice words for…”

“Save it.” she cut him off, her attention back on her tablet, “You and Hae-Ryeong will accompany us. Mr. Virtanen awaits.”

Mosche urges you to finish your drink while not doing the same and rises, silently urging you to follow.

“And we’ll take the stairs so no one gets lost.” Prentiss says leading the group. The man in the mask tried to protest, but after two words Prentiss stopped walking and sternly asked, “Do I need someone to carry you there?” and continued walking before he actually said, “No.”

The stairs were old stone work. It was up to flights before a heavy wooden door opens to the library. The stone walls were seven meters tall with bookshelves three meters high on every wall. Above those were two meter tall windows that revealed a windy moonlit night. But you recall it being daylight when you arrive. It smells exactly as it looks.

Lionel Virtanen is standing in the middle of the library wearing blue gray slacks and a matching button up shirt and a navy blue vest and tie. His height, hair, weight and face are unremarkable, plain and average. He’s reading an old copy of The Odyssey.

“Mosche and your guest sir.” Prentiss announces. “They were delayed by this man Simon Javier Malhotra born the 20th of January 1963. He is the global chairman, CEO and controlling shareholder of Metal Mammoth Mining and the founder, chairman and largest shareholder of FirstOrder Corporation. In 2022, Malhotra was named to Forbes' annual list of the world's billionaires. Wife, Barbara. Children…”

“We get the point you fucking bitch, you know who I am. You can shut the fuck up now. Goddamn stupid cow wasting everybody’s goddamn time running off at the mouth with all the yakety yak yak.”

Lionel threw the copy of The Odyssey so the corner hit Malhotra on his penis. He then choked him into a standing position and said, “That’s enough out of you! I know everything! You disrespect my guests, my staff, in front of me, but the most grievous thing you did? Telling that private eye about this place. And why? Because you raped your son's wives on their wedding night and blackmailed you!”

He released Malhotra and a pair of obvious sicario pick him up after playfully kicking him. Lionel slaps the mask off Malhotra, thrusts his middle and ring fingers up Malhotra’s nostrils and said,

“Low order scum. Prince, pauper, president, pawn, no one is beyond my reach.” He removed his fingers and gut punched Malthora who fell to his knees. The sicario held him up, pressing their crotches into his face. Lionel then looks into your eyes and says, “He’s all yours, what will you do with him?”

#fiction #bad fiction #my fiction #amateur fiction

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