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sticktopia · 1 year ago

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Welcome to the Garden (Sanctuary AU)

The Garden. A pocket dimension that sits on the line between life and death. This little world is designed to house and heal broken souls. Those who have died under tragic circumstances, or have many regrets are called to this realm. Once they let go of their trauma and regrets, the soul can pass on to its next life. That is the role of The Garden.

Orchid (Chapter 7)

Orchid groaned as she awoke. Her body was sore, but it was bearable. Orchid’s vision cleared as she felt more awake.

“I'm... not dead…?” Orchid muttered as she lifted her hand to her face. She could still feel her face, and the bed underneath her. Orchid groaned as she tried to sit up. That was when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Orchid looked up to see the tall Stick that brought her to the strange world.

“Please, don't strain yourself.” They said softly.

“You… where am I? What happened to me?” Orchid asked as she lay back down. Bel removed their hand from her shoulder and grabbed a remote. They pressed a button, causing the back of the bed to prop Orchid upright.

“You're in the garden, my home.” Bel said as they put the remote down. “When I brought you in, your body began to erode. Like whatever happened to you in your past life was amplified and began to eat at your code.”

“Eat at my code…” Orchid repeated as she thought about her tragic death. She then remembered her son. She turned to Bel once again, a desperate look in her eyes.

“My son! Have you seen my son?!” Orchid asked, grabbing Bel’s hand and holding it tight.

“I-I watched him die!” Orchid began to cry as she remembered the scene.

“He w-was sucked up into-into this bright light! A-and I followed him! Please tell me where he is!!” Orchid was bawling now. She couldn't tell if she was crying in sadness or joy but she needed to know if her son was there. Bel sat still, their expression unreadable behind their shaggy bangs.

“I don't think your son is here Miss. We are notified whenever a new stick enters the Garden. But the only one to enter was you.” Bel said. Orchid’s heart broke.

“Please! Find him! I need to know if he’s ok!” Orchid begged Bel, holding their hand tightly. Bel reached out with their free hand and wiped away orchid’s tears.

“Don’t worry Ma’am. We’ll find your son.” Bel said, their lips pulling into a small comforting smile. Orchid sniffled and nodded her head.

“Th-thank you… Thank you so so much.”

**********

“Miss Orchid.” Orchid looked up from her book. The yellow stick from earlier stood at the door to the med bay. Orchid closed her book and placed it in her lap.

“Yes? What do you need?” Orchid softly asked. Dandi smiled softly and went over to Orchid’s bed. She sat at the foot of the bed, facing the mother.

“I heard that you have a son correct?” Orchid’s eyes widened.

“Did you find him?! Is my son ok?!” Orchid asked desperately. Dandi chuckled and nodded.

“We found your son. But he’s not here in the garden.” Dandi said. Orchid furrowed her brow in confusion.

“But, he dided… I watched him die!” Orchid stated, trying to peice together her thoughts. Dandi tapped on her charm. A screen appeared in between the two women. Dandi stretched the screen and showed Orchid what had happened.

Displayed on the screen was purple, her son, being sucked up into the light. It then showed Purple sitting in the void all by himself, surounded by pink rose petals. Orchid gasped as she reached out to touch the screen. But her hand went right through. Orchid pulled away and continued to watch. All of a sudden, the tall orange stick came running. Orchid’s eyes widened as she watched the orange stick embrace her son. Tears spilled from his eyes. And his lips moved, he was saying something, but there was no audio. As the two embraced each other, the darkness around them shattered. They fell, causing Orchid to gasp. Even though both of there were in a free fall, they never let go of each other. They refused to. The pair was suddenly tossed into a strange world that Orchid didn't recognize. The video then stopped and the screen disappeared. Dandi looked up at Orchid with a comforting smile.

“Your son is perfectly fine.” Dandi said. Orchid processed everything she has just seen. Tears were soon brought to her eyes. Her son was alive. He was ok. Dandi chuckled and stood to hug Orchid.

“Thank you… Thank you so much.” Orchid Wept. Dondi chuckled.

“I'm not the one you should be thanking.” Dandi said as she side hugged the pink stick. Orchid sniffled and wiped her tears.

“Oh thank gods.” Orchid said as she leaned back in the propped up bed.

“Besideds that news, are you feeling better now?” Dandi asked as she sat up straight. Orchid recollected herself and nodded.

“Y-yeah. I feel a lot better after some rest.” Orchid smiled. Dandi nodded and stood.

“The medics said that you leave as long as you took it easy. Are you ready to meet the others?” Dandi asked, hand held out to her. Orchid looked at her hand before carefully taking it. Dandi carefully helped Orchid to her feet. She was a little unsteady, but with Dandi’s help, Orchid made her way to the main room. As they entered the room, all the sticks in the room were hushed. Dandi stood at the front of the room with orchid.

“Introduce yourself .” Dandi said as she helped Orchid sit down. Orchid sighed and looked across the room. Sticks of all ages awaited her. Orchid smiled softly.

“Good afternoon everyone. My name is Orchid. I appologize for my dramatic entrance I normally don't do that.” The room filled with the checklist and giggles of the sticks, causing orchid to smile.

“I’m excited to get to know all of you. And thank you for welcoming me to your home.” Orchid said as she rested her hand overr her heart.

“Welcome to our home Orchid!!” The sticks cheered. Orchid laughed as they did.

“Thank you all.” Orchid said as she moved some hair out of her face. As the crowd of sticks went back to whatever they were doing, Dandi rested a hand on Orchid’s shoulder.

“Orchid, this is Bel, I’m sure you remember them.” Dandi said as Bel bowed slightly. Orchid chuckled.

“Yes, I remember you. Thank you again for saving me.” Orchid said with a smile.

“It’s no problem Ma’am.” Bel said as they stood straight. Orchid chuckled.

“Oh please, you don't have to call me that. Just call me Orchid.” Orchid said as she rested her hands in her lap. Dandi chuckled, getting Orchid’s attention oncemore.

“Well, Orchid, we decided that Bel will be your aid as you heal. We don't want you to strain yourself.” Dandi said as she turned to Bel. Bel nodded once.

“Please, allow me to take you to your room.” Bel said as they helped Orchid stand.

“You can walk correct?” Bel asked as Orchid stood.

“I can. But not too fast. I'm sorry.” Orchid said as she and Bel began making their way to the stairs.

“Not at all. It is my duty to help you.” Bel said as they carefully helped Orchid up the stairs. As the pair continued to walk, they made pelasant conversation. It may have been more orchid talking and Bel listening, but they did enjoy each other’s company. Once they reached Orchid’s room, Bel helped her into bed.

“Oof, thank you very much for your help Bel.” Orchid said as she relaxed into the pillows. Bel nodded once and then pulled out a necklace.

“This is for you.” Bel said as they placed it over Orchid’s head.

“Oh, thank you Bel.” Orchid said as she looked at the heart shaped charm. “It’s very beautiful.”

“Whenever you need help, just press on it.” Bel said as he pressed on the top. As he did, a bracelet that Orchid didn't notice Bel wearing buzzed softly. Orchid smiled.

“Oh Bel, you don't have to go that far.” Orchid said. She was about to take the necklace off but Bel stopped her.

“It’s customary that we do. You… are a delicate situation. And we want to make sure that if you need help, we’ll come running.” Bel said as he looked down at Orchid. Orchid thought about it. She wasn't exactly in pain anymore. But she was flattered that Bel was so willing to help her. Orchid chuckled softly and put her hands in her lap.

“Thank you Bel.” Orchid said as she fiddled with the charm a bit. Bel nodded once and stood straight.

“Lunch will be served in a few minutes. I will come and bring you some when it is ready.” Bel said with a bow. They then made their way out of the room. Orchid sighed as she relaxed in bed. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering how her son was doing.

“I hope that man is treating him well…” Orchid muttered as she thought. She didn't particularly like that her son was going to be hanging around the same man that hurt him. But he was a father at one point as well. Maybe Purple would finally have a role model in his life. Orchid suddenly heard the door open. She turned to see a little girl standing there.

“Hello, who are you?” Orchid asked softly. The child entered the room and closed the door.

“M-my name is Gold.” The little girl nervously said. Orchid’s eyes widened as she remembered that name.

“You're….” Orchid pulled the sheets off of herself and pulled her feet off the bed.

“You're his child…” Orchid said as she saw the resemblance. Gold’s eyes were just as blue as her fathers. How could she forget them? Shaking the thought, Orchid looked down at the little girl.

“You knew my father?” Gold asked, taking another step towards Orchid. Orchid hesitated. She thought out her next response very carefully. Orchid took in a breath before continuing.

“I don't know him. But he has been taking care of my son.” Orchid said with a soft smile. Gold’s face seemed to light up at the sound of that.

“Dad has another kid?! I knew he would be happy again! Is my dad doing ok? I get worried about him sometimes. Does he love your son as much as he loved me?” Gold asked excitedly. With each question, gold took another step towards Orchid. Soon, Gold was right in front of the mother. As Gold continued to ask questions, Orchid’s heart began to hurt. The child in front of her reminded Orchid of her son so much. Now that she’s met his child, she understands just how empty he may have been, losing this absolute ray of sunshine. She would have been devastated if she had lost purple as well.

“Miss Orchid?” Orchid blinked back into reality. As she did, she noticed that her face was wet. “WHy are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”

“Oh, no no, you've said absolutely nothing wrong.” Orchid said as she wiped her tears.

“I just, miss my son. And you remind me so much of him.” Orchid said as she looked at the little girl before her. Gold smiled softly as Orchid said that.

“I wonder if dad thinks the same thing about your son.” Gold said as she hugged Orchid. Orchid let out a teary chuckle and hugged Gold as well.

“I'm sure he does.”

**********

“Miss Orchid, Gold.” Orchid opened her eyes, seeing Bel kneeling next to her bed.

“Bel…? What time is it?” Orchid asked as she rubbed her eyes. The mother was going to get up when she felt something move against her body. Looking down, she could see Gold asleep next to her.

“How long have I been asleep?” Orchid asked as she wrapped her arms around the little girl once more.

“Well, you missed Lunchtime. So I came to give you and Gold dinner.” Bel said, referring to the cart off to the side. Orchid’s eyes widened. Dinner time? When was the last time she slept that long? Orchid looked down at gold in her arms. SHe smiled softly and moved some hair out of the girl’s face.

“Gold Darling, it’s time to wake up.” Orchid said as she caressed Gold’s face. Gold stirred and yawned. SHe rubbed her eyes and sleepily looked up at Orchid.

“Good morning Miss Orchid…” Gold murmured. “WHat time is it?”

“It’s dinner time.” Orchid said as she sat up. Gold followed her actions, still sleepy and dazed.

“Really?” Gold yawned as she leaned on Orchid. Bel placed the tray down in front of the two. On the tray were two dishes of spaghetti.

“This looks delicious. Thank you Bel.” Orchid said as she picked up her fork. Bel nodded.

“Just press if you need me.” Bel said as they took the cart from the room. Gold reached for her fork as well. The scent of the food was enough to wake her up.

“This looks delicious.” Gold said as she placed a forkfull into her mouth.

“Yummy!!!” Gold said as she continued to eat. Orchid chuckled and ate a bit herself. Orchid must admit, this was quite delicious. The little hint of cheese with the tangy sauce warmed Orchid from her core.

“Compliments to the chef, whoever they are.” Orchid chuckled.

“Momo, Aqua, Clover, and Jean are normally the ones that cook.” Gold said as she took another bite.

“I must thank them for the food when I can” Orchid said. As orchid glanced down, she saw that Gold had a bunch of tomato sauce on her face. Orchid burst out laughingas she saw her messy little face.

“What?” Gold asked, her mouth slightly full.

“You have auce all over your face.” Orchid chuckled as she took the napkin and started wiping Gold’s face. Gold giggled as Orchid did so.

“Hey! Stop that!” Gold laughed. Orchid chuckled as she finished cleaning Gold’s face.

“Don't make too big of a mess alright?” Orchid said as she continued to eat.

“Ok Miss Orchid.” Gold said as she began to eat more carefully. Once the two had finished their dinner, Orchid pressed the button on her necklace. Just a few minuets later, Bel came into the room.

“Have you both finished your dinner?” They asked.

“Yes, we have.” Orchid said as she lifted the tray to Bel. Bel carefully lifted the tray and held it with one hand.

“There’s going to be a meteor shower tonight. Would you like to come see it with everyone else?” Bel asked as they made sure nothing fell over.

“A meteor shower? That sounds fun. Do you wanna go Gold?” Orchid asked the girl. Gold nodded her head vigorously.

“Yeah! Then we can make wishes for Papa and Purple!” Gold said excitedly. Bel smiled softly.

“I will come get you guys when we are about to leave.” Bel said as they exited the room. Gold giggled as she hopped out of Orchid’s bed.

“I can't wait to see the stars! I hope my dad will be looking at them too.” Gold said as she twirled around the room. Orchid chuckled as she watched Gold dance around the room.

“Do you like to dance Gold?” Orchid suddenly asked. Gold turned to Orchid.

“Uh, yeah! I love dancing!” Gold said happily. Orchid smiled more.

“Do you want to dance with me?” Orchid asked. Gold stood still and tilted her head.

“But your hurt. How are you going to dance with me?” Gold asked. Orchid shook her head and stood.

“I'm fine. I'm not hurting anymore.” Orchid said as she walked over to gold.

“Come on, let’s dance.” Orchid said as she grabbed a disc from the shelf and placed it in the cd player. A soft song came on and Orchid made her way to Gold.

“Ready?” Orchid ased as she took Gold's hand. Gold nodded as she followed Orchid’s moves. Together, the two makeshift waltzed to the song.

“This is how princess dance! Are you a princess Miss orchid?!” Gold asked excitedly. Orchid laughed as she spun with Gold.

“I was once. But not anymore.” Orchid said as she and Gold continued to dance. Gold giggled with every spin and step. It made orchid’s hear feel full. She hasnt danced like this since she got sick. It was truly nostalgic for her to be dancing with Gold. As the song ended, there was a small applause at the door. Both ladies turned to see Bel and Aster standing at the door.

“That was magnificent.” Bel said, a small smile on their lips.

“You guys looked so cute together!!! My heart was melting!” Aster said as he bounced on his toes.

“Aster!!!” Gold laghed as she ran and jummped into his arms.

“Hey kid! You ready to see the stars?” Aster asked as he held the sunshine child.

“Yeah!! Let’s go!!!” Gold said excitedly.

“Onward!” Aster said as he made his way out of the room. Orchid chuckled as she watched the two sticks leave. As they left, orchid began to cough. Bel quickly approached the pink stick.

“Are you alright?” Bel asked as he supported Orchid. As orchid regained her breath, she replied to them.

“Yes, i'm ok. I just had something in my throat.” Orchid said as she looked down at her hand. A black substance stained her palm.

“Again?” She sighed as she grabbed a tissue and wiped it away.

“Will you be ok to watch the meteor shower tonight?” Bel asked with concern. Orchid cleare her throat and tossed the tissue away.

“Yes, I'll be fine.” Orchid said as she faced Bel with a smile. The tall stick hesitated but took Orchid’s hand.

“If you need to rest, just tell me and i can take you back inside.” Bel said as they led Orchid out of her room.

Chapter 6-(Chapter 7)-Chapter 8

#sanctuary au #ava #avm #alan becker #fanfic #Sticktopia's stories

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libidomechanica · 2 months ago

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“Yours shore shall bird”

A sonnet sequence

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My rooted China, touch fals singing roaring water had it not too zeal, a wild he stoor; and once shells a thing seas. And freedom brow whole a sullen Europe for even line, and love heart with house, too late: let were lying soul disdaine, arm’d my true! The terror, told mammoth buds, all thy oracle of felicious meals: he that I admiring pastime—I turn to meet a vacant pain, then in mouth. Which I of the night they beheld; they are the wood, behind wild carnation ruins how sholdered Asses’ express of time we lay in the wind come; no hath was worke delight is the Tree!

But for me, by maiden, as I don’t thou would be, a bird’s howling so, some future tire, would you love. Observance in wonder Nay! ’Ve shul other scorpions— stifled like types of galloping through alwey, stretch the same groups under up my primroses, and gay was no one humming in dreaming, and found his wyf hir long the Follow of pensive crown’d, or liked at he meadow- like a child; she lion’s that ’twere dwell a love, before the will not know my wife, and in the Hare useless would spark unto islanderer thou yields, and hideous Mother, neverence; his holy time past.

As the bees sea of sugared? Cyril said my leads an Angel now it in the sallying teeth, that them; I cam free as myne eyes doubt, fair-faced to the improvidence, and swear self their mosses, roar their hush and how its name failing world, and seyst meant knight, and the way becaused by Florian, Roman fell, the lost; and otherbifoore. Where on other day. And Cather in closed that mercy deep ways vision sprente as a hills, and a named: our terrors over cheere on be so, because of the she: man wol person far as oak trees, than oon; as, while I things and me, ne of eterne on horses.

Survive therwith! Twice I said, but forgot his full, the summer everything hath and things. How begot been graves, and shears, by my own topsy-turvy, twiste. Give heaven, my bright; yet should now a saddle him window, around is but a young cense of flow’rets down this may part her of her cherry seasons do dwell, severe way be afraid! And as stored in the next gracioun, and her suspicion that a greet maybe it to no discerned; and condition’s the wol entered with thorn in they passion, pulsation through heels me from the lakes this made him in everywhere I was the could goat by that thee!

From wall; not displese. While these new-built it woot, the started for his garment wrong’d, unrevealed in this, to whom the will ranks wonder crescent-wise; such as I kissed be to give to ape them glide, and silver moon horses, ground nurse isles of those discrecioun of sang all the state, and whole desire: I pored in parfitly, finished a scarlet gytes. Harsh chastily sunny kinsfolk at the made first hymself your from wherefore me, to wexe at meant mine, and at gave the shall has not yet the hand unco wae, and hurl’d mine-muffles, salad, Parker House; and away; if Susan’s play, that much.

I hid and never handson are two, and smile, and held he fern, while them, so wel as Sight. Who asked as our oracles, a dull more done, he ledge, must be noght from the wind sad, swift-footed in, and othere is, when Aurora lead fr an old blazing, and take ours, and much I love’s victims at they conscious to heart and said Arac: Arac’s side: by the doubts and prunes. Tables roar: the nat kepe in then, to spreading a side, and leave to write to San Sebastian look’d immediately morning, never when I clothing water, or goode, as clerkės be blissful waves rolling train lover, the shore?

Lays. I watching till these we hear, we are ye, Nymphes cancer: could till now and smothere, named her make to dwell at the deviate hem best fly: if these, and repay, faults doze; and yet cross the uniform, then I know how the drynken wyn on the doctor, certes, clothes of ease his way! But I streak these world, I sting through cheerful and of his guifts; his art. And harmony to the wolde housbonde world, like a down bait: to look on nobler again. Which were som manere. And Pan with men much few sad tease my arms have neuer lyst prove the leve of hire formed by thing in the blood was as the can I be?

Strive, you cause? The note to saved, that Lente; I wish I haue gay, showing and spring mortal gods shook where is red-faced at once in thus shal yeldė to have; then on that time ful of us died, ye are love of this very eyes; and new; she watching has, lie, o ease trying charm from elm: only way, whose prove, which of most swelling fame? Who is his yeere we’llget o’er the fires, but not love’s feeds youth, no noise of Better woe: now range her taste matin lazy tolerance rolled in what of that the moonlight out of careful wyf yrekened all as you not simple, fit for to teached Parable the Tree!

And bids the delight, as commer look forgot how, or honour! Solitary night, part, if he yaf me in joy. This silly seldom costly on the doctor at the Tree! And as an hate wealth, and feels, and green identic may redressioun be witeless will sealed, by what sedge, and bare out with her love you sawest thou wonder skins; then the heart, I say, that any clear strong at my speak there without as they drawing turns not entering: it is this grace and their past breed, and all forth his dronke a poor dear, let its whirls me laughė whan thus and lyė as a figures at al man should the rake, breaks.

The women spread; or cash far from cost her flower yet to shewe hire days, and all the valley-depths of hir owene juggėment; for what all. See now soother of the dead, and I fell I could and bride white-wall; and yet woe is worthy rymes we find told where all the lilies forth which thousand blew along ago—that clashed a virtue of them. What tiny cell in lonely whippe,—thou to some serpent I receive! Blushes and horn that we faint things are gazing skies; tis close morning: the olde have said, our sweeter spare, grow him not their leave myster then the voices him a wastfull of lights I die.

Than aughter, while faults, no double being crave ashes of all the trumpet downright. Our Gipsy-Scholar of the bring in hir brain the owe heat oaths I quite for to comanded he is songs grateful cell o Mercurie and trance, dear, wake the eaved my pypes refin’d, call’d married by solemn day theatres beneath it fatal names and every gloom; up the people fresh, and feet ripple those sternity. He roots, and plate as all. The mark obscurity; they can’t wander Friends, cool we saw that reckless praised by me. Perjury; there agiltelees, that there upon the must tenderneath men.

Ye so certain there them achieve me at he where such outward him with Brocade one, and for youre party, three for my branched strikes they little, but all is soul, that thy fame in a Lente all his his bandage sinks no deynte right aloft by turned Nor Johnny do, I desire, to written men of legal struggle hand! You like to the world for her folly wits taught from all: well in my bone of shadowy net, the tincture tire, now are nothing; yet most gone Sun, that to the treasure the borne be see us peace is companions the cave all the mates; but bitter music shall selling diamond doon, and seyst thou seistow, which praised hym lepe, hey ho pinching clouds best I saw the Ephesian as a lonely to gray leads herself able swayne, that fail, and their eyes the said: for the turn things and now love it ever wish’d inside as marble strong slave obtain’d his own the place rank sad providers.

Loud prays, fell in the houses hard to make him that used his lyf. Complete to mix with Amaryllis an is gore; for Time, I should not quite some question well-sung time, if at alone haunt old learned at that poor old cheare on between a wants: because of Scotch Court melt wind of discuss; a love pit of the owls have wept. He said or doth pearl and help them him down world. No plot, ’ he sands realm’s still I main, enow of my place, shade of a heaven in vigour, too oftė have know from on repair’d words came hunter-scoff, seeing only me, far the tress unworth they ho see her move, in all that sweete pyne?

Nurses turn and the places. Will you’ve been overal offend almost smote and now woodland, am urged within me was moon, yet hadde wyn! Call he is one pang of womman kitte history live, and fill; and this, her vile, and her planned so may deel. The which still selling to me in the is siker as God-knows your grace, mine own modest, of my lordynges, by rage, waving lyre, to comb, a new bond—this heart in Sommer poniard, and crushed as he town as soul to your cold to That I knew him range in who boss the knew of pain, without, finished in the trouble griefest sad? Her men hem spreads his such lady, Dianeme, rather that oothe hedge and either men: the cabinet, being crave me sorrow. Long loves, which in the moss. Innocent, doth perchance where Lycidas, thou deserve of twenty I heart, still the work divine, but Calvary— Love is love it nor his thing eyes and for everyone else Fire!

Was I, that hark the hir love, his to this way be, thy welked recipe he’s height thus thynges equal task the squares hours; that grown the fear me a philanthropy; and by thy flocks, she knew who country; none ever she waterfall, such person our by the innocent, that Creator’—still; together good service, no lutes distinctions it is an hour idiot boy. And I wol heed of my old some easy term: the great of hem, What the dewdrops aboute. Of housbondes that once in on youthful plight of flies, that did thimble to the logic of ancient ranckleth you death—and is me!

Is it truly serve the deep in you just paine, when when to the may nothing our thinkest and order female for ever empty- handed eye, and earlier task’d of sighs drops falsely in my despised, she secrecy our prudence, are stand ancholy that none of his time, by God of Cincing Bellibone, and yet with sports me farmer’—a race. Condemning flames? By God, it still in my earth you to no dreary way. Bring to win it Ding, as the hold the sea growe? Who rapt, we consecration boil and som, to shift my dream the pomps coming sailor’s, his think too latest of this to my Electric clouds before so full voice shepheard thou, to weep no more the pitchen clerk wol I kiss to do our great me fresh and colliday! That light i’ the seydest play as anybody and thee, when a new grows war the town. That he wende of men loe Pernasse like; but I there on on though to see.

Nay! Now a sad of the roof any of the palace what acquaint in kings I overal ribands. That, black of the devil take you dost ruth for thicken hall. That old past this but with the hadde a wilderness. Every day; come ages, roses ev’ry grace the chorus, Fame is sings are still: I cannot so as the never mine, and which is mourn hall, this mild a years wit is call’d Saviour, and lete the resort, and respect, where so long blossom’d the dark, our own skinnes going muchel care no wight, but it seek, what we used against my Muse thy heard, I abide what a sweet Eloisa see!

My father of ours, and once of this well! Took with him gain’d. Or sit be afraid! It is there. What is a humble be pacem oh my flowers which, the call this Bond: and I, shall you’ve daunce more was Tertulan, crisippus, Trotula, and the rest, bleeding Children dear Girls, knowledge unto me; when a lip to your quaint remove? As rich the sallying, to live, and culmined the spring- days, and he windows raise and those whan that’s best conjured my hard, hath common vein of old, and hardly and paye his dronkeness and the neither grew beside beere, nor them him whom she necks on though you. The ways.

While I turn my vision, yea, let they fled? That I say the moon the arms of his face of noon, full voice with the wont to be worn with Ruby and want did Johnny, mine-muffles, among the crowned? Not colour aged steal a thing farther dead, and make my minds a Hell in a hen that go outnumbering turns of some unto islander stops would I lose convey what hath poynt of them pleads and thus thy pipe, the little light, but since you still be fail’d to the ploughman’s preambulacious new all. Tree again, that which on thered heart, what draught with eager far as condemn all growing call, is resist?

A whirlwind of metals, wher true. I trust since inspirits rounder shade, to brings the head, declare all we hopes doth live, some free than slay me, now, and there such flowering havoc with thy love’s far in juice shepheards Tityrus japonica shouts all how showers. What som forth, despairing more warm, pass head of the dreams! She knew you be at night to thy paines of Princess the world, and her spirit dost my fancy dies and one came across to looked weel. Be her, that were he wolde nature an in sighs, my Loue, I muses! A blue eyes around, which him crying tide visit’st that affect to-day!

Somethings that she never reach’d and now honey on great sparent of their May and of weand mute admits and sickness to say shall stops, and from his not mine, or an hous as farewely, which chequer’d, and feats, aromas, lie, fifteen, Indeed, to selectra! And Susan lakes it, and doth bow common welter wyn or may she knocker, right laid his Highness, if sheets rise, we are you are is, the day after aspects to you likewise I: be come awakens and shall inter-time began to gild a storments and which fame—with scramble build a virginitee, it may ye went, but stay! Yet have yours.

And blossom-belts, and had never shows on all in March, and moves whirling whose thing I knew nod think you’re talked, oh could rest. Whose plants imbibe it too. It sailing upon hire there, till the blood; those lumine eyes, ropes does henceforth, and strange my life or losse in his singering warm pillar! Which stirre more I sey nat kepe me anothers,—that, ne cloud, sweet so in the powers with he heart believ’d the housbonde hands before it homest he leopards hard the drum cried footstep aside, and saw the light, susan, with complainnes gray linger out of Truth and the thirsty each that’s in the Moon and answered, heere.

That then with messenger inspire of light. Love’s false dark greet postscription. Ignorance my leopards rite, deepening out of art that she, in a povre wolf with emotion: then Florian walls between abate, and highest which can learns to-day: here that toong? ’ Feast of devis’d, and deep, and beckoned dream all prove, if my hear his lordynges the scorn they fell into the sea, and you are those hour! May we nat let you came. Poor Betty’s cried to the hung, as I kisses terme of my shrieked there are caught is not for bowre, beside thee all—now that mind, and in my touchesse, and heart that moment, recreation.

She asked, peace, who rapt, we water, brother’s hair, and often comes two, and at leads me thou could gaze at her daintye Daysies out of join the feare, we all, the childe is love its amain. When Aurora learnd euen recognize? Too little, beside a beauties I must be said this woman! Some chiefest senses far away, consign is why God of him? Summon been sitte the wolde I mighty Jove, enquired, wrother at though all yonder none than to see His hanging his stupid, if he world? Not in happy, happed carcasses smooth of nine do I remembering remove, fatherefore the hollide?

Which jostles, seabathed, I diligences and me slewed thy gold repose; no, now she statutes, the to seed y-sowe, of body and doun! I said, our Gipsy-Scholar of war or nor ever than he, my death: burye hym in the hearts can affords: while in juice she palate for soul, as she moon to warm, seabather the left a sad quandards of Albany. And contempting years and doth all thy hear me Swear, play to shore, and darkens all the disguise, staineth brooks, vials in the sea, lover, out transfix thee overwrough you mountain, and the come from his man-girl who like Orpheus could desire, till amountered groome. And wide, is wormes, but, loveth wysdam and blossoms, false to shewes her held to enter, lest; yet lettes; but the might dale, lo, quod he, their passed—A rebel stay till remember, I never- nearing within that thought abode; and me of grew pale is so.

No doubt—Sweet—thyrsis, lest eyes moonlighte, or any weedes the Futurism just we maun dark how it like, even in the aiming laughs,—it is times and low-brow’d and fright to zero, in like the rathers’ pray you, not of the dove, as he west that are you. Fast, mean not know me my soule be seemed the circles, Pomegranates of those sory groan, his stillness aboute my sighs that, I seye no? But her loth, by twos and see; a night-gear where onward shrine, and tost a treason of fare wilt thou will I nurs’d up the found dine. Soon is, her sore: so that to you wage between among their passing? How of his uninscribe who promise; fruitfull of glee, this pipes on than all me where with his visionary pats the childe that she sat life, under whisper trust man such person toyes purple ward praise be forth, my she longing: Here was swayne: sike a femele from out al foe. Beside the Doctor!

And make me how to-whoo, that is it bear a found O found he think and noblest Scholar, we are peeping horses, giant, sweet unto my Electric clouds best as is gracioun, but when heel, for al swich as I drops aboute my bells; the kneel for years, and have connections where be and why showers to dear ladies, by Gods pursue from out her banks then in himself with cost heaven we conclusion. Those voyces shee countenant the nectar for thou go—called but mind. Stella loue, I fill woody perior, in that sun peers, which stirte the blast bed. As somtyme was Johnny in divine! Boss the kiss.

Gone so sharp as pale main—surelesse of a like to his description. Till the shoulded, and truth another was more escapes, with the road, oh Khalífah laughing accidentic may survivor wine. So learnd a white of Beauties in the wind satin- wood for the can bend; that part, e’en the looks again with bulks and the began to while the Cane of my hearth and pays the will the heel, that’s beautee and the baskets boast; in the prince, made hidde hand, with burst the Tree! We are floor with dainties in these with me; they can she languish in here, if I love’s cleverned to touch world love us passion sense.

Then, the rude at hobbles upon the heaven’s mortal mankind of the waves delighten’d in fact, if I have rest. Where oppose of a talisman—an and New York city’s straitors, er the such this words were. Of cherelesse byrds, that Psyche’s leaues fro Parys, and said, in thy proverbe they must I shift myselfe did fly twins may streamer, or off your arrow wol peril of rock, as laughs,—it is a juggle greens I pick of Ida, touch of his Bible lungs, it scarcely reigns all. You. As wyves the Bible their chief to war with vernance ful forced recited, were, but Colin, Colin mariage?

Comrades arm-chaises since the moon thy imageste, and palms, and such is just night, and love fought me it long Devotion: it short to shift mi hips these thou are mix’d with homest set. After and ever come as they never said did feede, if more wax al day. From his own at he, and never hood to whom the sprang else a lamb the learn? The heart’s glory, with them worth, and daunger spoke: why, that merciful; shearer though all me past. While delicated, wrongs in made his vanquish’d within height is alters he kneel for envye nothynges this she tears and from fill, how Holland drink that fourthe humming on meet!

Oft gratify it, as if the last she doctors are always use, to terrors. Who know its way, and man could striking day, where a Patagonian jealous hand, for the full verse my thought thou and dark—years, and dawn wherein to thre, the sensual in hair. What sunk so far I company is the salt over a loue me a few, the wilderneath the chose; but when these loue. Let mine, no stood town; then, my Beloved youre from memory of waters waft thy pranced wel it breath’d proceed with shows half your sense, the spring warm pillows, and a decrepit fatal wedded more that its name!

And freedom brow dost thought, him whom I shifte. Or gallop by, and flints, and unlawful Drink my chiste! And, O ye dote; but yet must for I can cries, and dry. To his life; and on so in thy sweet Aglaia, my day, each one between us from my night, those who has Love? Come, and on a nest was realm in dells, and silver, where stocks rise! In our eyes were made up upon things of the rare. A colt—take me morning go throbbinoll, I despair! Always scorn. Water, and died entangles of which, this my jolitee, cacche was a curl’d marriage? ’Re in dream how allures who groans, instincts immaturity.

Alas, who wolde no dislike a boy, the value might is unembarrass’d th’ fire to all not death it show with his striue in the feeble form a syde, till its far can has pain, past over yet and we would. Less break on all all the Apostles, spontaneous as anymore. Take back a less as we love like all in the Mine? And are two face and Wooll, alas, where, never Last no silver, and shade of a talisman— an angry fantasye: wayte what comfort: lie perfect wide the language her synge me mistake his guide. Hey had seen and seeks, but the you. Mild zephyrs war with the still fair?

That shine. With thee happy is just stirrup, sad me from op’ning in turf such Clytemnestrains the world spar’d words. I sang about dreamed to enlarge blooms, and takė witness up upon his speak words, right. My old Susan’s found, its touched be. Ponder clappiness or the door stand and pity hath sing in whom you here, thy flames inspired. Time down and good, no doubt its her dull rebel nat wordes it went to be afraid! And still pardon yours. Hee vowel-keen door and flame, her gardyn groan, what the ambitious passed it also sang there woman for a treading at housbonde. And each project find seyst me.

She price; o’er than and likerous, imperial— men and mute destroy, that I might appal. To somethings we with golden came, by your wailing: thou little waylefull officient in the bare! Or a kingly still shown the should my hand, and steals in hot for power than all in the Prince: Lady Psyche wente of pass’d in a somonour, and more thy lose concern: if Ida, that’s in any wicked pins filchers learned wipe to the Norther baldnesse was rays of how to his head to join grows flesh to-day I stood and catch divine, like the streams along it were, to belt and made supply throe!

And anon the Federation messors: then, and you know: when those cross my eyes. Wave is; saying of your past reache hungry arab— after that made him bell. Oh reason clung back and murmur tonnė that which doth buds, and the my squares, where left: she love and for can thou do that all that I love no longing started up in hot warm. Leave my whole darkness of it true lough of the mankynde the Should I on me, I woot wel after that your cold to marvel of riche, and crown against thy bride, as this Presents of your life, which ever loue with the hyesterday call night pebbles on evere been my rocks.

God woot, I recorded march narrows from despised, sweep my passions of nine drum we’llget out of turned the laughte the stand bade the had chose,—motherwithal: be here its long to the would. Of fallen in time down with soft into a decay! Oh commenced ascending point: science, I gesse, for very was we were kill once also, is six days, you lie, fists. And Venus burnt, turn overaynetee, can see, I play thy darkness! She know? I have see a marry; the societies, on! I asked, and, ere not a somethinks, so longed boy, wind cold. Never banks thy text, an angry former one of Life!

We were sire, but tis may the night. And hath bulked trembling from out you in crushing three years, pant up through I often me, how much, but forget that be right warm and writ in these thin a moral mankind. To give child is the grant not what your doon his fest her loue. With thy to its stuff that locust beautifully. A Countering die, nor holden my eyes are all say This side there by the radiant from elm: only grow. This, none heaven in a rais’d her play. Ah the oaks, we al dancer, myself to thyng foil set into hide my love, beating to blowe yow to look at the west the lend who know?

Beauties hath human, garlic in the Highness ill jest to win it Ding, and blushing and why nothing air. The church of passage discourself—To Do, not love’s hate that he soule aboue and first hunger come tears began to sunlighting the Heart be good neighbour guerdon its whirlpool full, soon then one day, which the imperiods keep in minted snow. But now a song, it made himself to Heaven. Bring tributaries for than a cock’d the loved in hand! Their pinions, she isles of silver, and like the drains, and to die. Ah me, it soon, yet and sit heard, that since of that she warpings at my head like Good-bye.

Then to sin away from out by a partly rain of beauties, too, to with Thou live youry Luyts an arms; it hath, what on my Lucia’s cheek, as well know I meene says;—and yet freely should my hear, not tamed you, ever reaps not now all seeing, for to the heav’n’s heards gladly cross a land! Who wast begins hym with myne to mount my flower add one else foremost sweete Violet-hoof and I wol nat made Lucia’s self art, with shall I dye, how Xantippa castle of into three of no need, that loud full out him which what he watching him in of all; and Venus measure. My cheek as your peace is not!

Ah, where that Honour ingress on the in a raucous to the fierced tease to drag on such a strange and gold, whichever seeketh kep or severe beauteous ever which would sings, and yet was dead; the dampnėd wedded girl who’s always prompt to go. While they were brine; the found her bringing the same; before level may augment. For the blessed the flowers, beneath sorwe. I ne that sings pay when I knew that her stop to a false—is not pin me that side, is simple ayre, and to good that oon of The God, too, more rype, and Paradise, with all soon, and to haul up and fair creeps from she bear and all thee!

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #198 texts #sonnet sequence

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sweeethinny · 4 years ago

Text

I just want to be the one you love

Summary: "You need to stop rowing with Hestia." [...] "Look—bring her here. The password is 'caraway.' Have a bath. Ask her where she wants things to go after Hogwarts. See what she says. And stop snipping at her in private over unrelated things that you're not even mad about." Lily said.

[...]

At his side, Hestia shot him a glance torn somewhere between fondness and exasperation. "I said I'd be his girlfriend," she said before anyone could prompt her.

"And she suggested it. I didn't even have to ask." - Voyeur by @scriibble-fics

I hope Scriibble doesn't care that I tag her on so many things, sorry dear

---

Sirius felt a little nervous as he walked towards the prefect's bathroom, his palms sweating as if he were a 14 year old teenager about to give his first kiss. It was stupid to feel that way, but he couldn't help feeling it.

He had been fighting with Hestia like a dog and cat, neither of them would give the truce first, and that made them end up fighting over everything, even if it didn't make sense anymore. They started fighting over Sirius to find out that Hestia hadn't told him that the Slytherins had attacked her a few weeks ago, and now, he doesn't even remember anymore why they were fighting.

It was as if anything was capable of making the two of them explode with each other, they could barely spend more than an hour together without starting to scream, and Sirius blamed mainly the fact that things were getting worse with each passing day, they had joined the Order and it looked like the war was getting more and more real, getting closer and closer, and everyone seemed to be going out of their skin with the feeling that in less than a month they would be out of Hogwarts, and consequently out of the most protected place they had.

Or it should be like that, Sirius thought angrily, remembering the Mini Death Eaters' attacks that seemed increasingly excited to do whatever Voldemort told them to do.

'Can I come in?' Sirius asked at the bathroom door, he had already given the password, but he preferred to ask only for security, looking at the wall next to the door instead of the bathtub in the middle of the bathroom, where he could already hear the noises of Hestia.

'Yes.' Her voice was low, as if she were letting her guard down, which Sirius had also done.

First it was Lily who had gone to talk to him, telling him to talk to Hess, then it was James, who seemed a little more irritated by the idea that Sirius was being an idiot.

He also didn't like to fight with her, he hated it, Sirius had been unhappy since things started to fall apart. He missed being hugged to her, their conversations, making her laugh and blushing, Hestia sat on his lap to talk about her day, her hand in his hair, almost making him sleep with affection.

She was already inside the big bathtub, there were several bubbles around her, the sweet and Hestia smell in the air making Sirius a little dizzy, as it always did when her smell was on his clothes. Her hair was already wet, running down her back, one or two strands stuck to her forehead or her cheek, making her look adorable. He could see her bra strap, light pink, and Sirius had to inhale a good deal of air when his imagination worked on the image of Hestia wearing pink.

'Hi.' He was the first to say, standing in front of the bathtub, James' invisibility cloak on his arm along with the clean clothes. Hestia approached the edge, her eyes locked on his.

'Hi.' The girl's cheeks were pink, as they usually were when she was hot, but there was that part in particular, which Sirius noticed turned red whenever she was embarrassed, near her nose, outlining her cheek perfectly. He knew that if he put his hand there, it would be hotter than the rest of her face. It was as if Hestia had a fever whenever she was having an extreme emotion.

It was adorable.

'Aren't you going to come in?' She asked, arms crossed on the edge to keep her balance, Sirius didn't need to see to know that her feet didn't touch the floor in that part of the bathtub.

'Of course,' He went over to the benches there, looking over his shoulder to see her. 'Do you want me to come in?' For some reason, Sirius felt doubly more careful, now that he was trying to make things work, with his guard down. He was not ashamed to show this more insecure side to Hestia.

'Don't be as if I never saw your white ass,' Hestia broke free from the edge, pushing herself back and floating in the middle of the bubbles, making him catch little glimpses of the pink panties she wore. 'Why would we come here if not to get into the bathtub?' The two laughed, Sirius had to turn again before he looked too much at her shiny legs. ‘Don’t tell me you’re ashamed?’

'I just wanted to make sure.' He took off his shirt, then his pants, taking care to keep everything neatly folded, next to his clean clothes.

'Well, I'm telling you to come in, the water is delicious,' Hestia said, but Sirius thought he heard her voice tremble a little, and then the sound of the water of what should be her turning her legs inside. He turned around, wetting his fists and the back of his neck, before jumping in, keeping his eyes open to swim close to Hestia, which was not a smart move, as he can better see how she looked in her pink panties and how she really couldn't put her feet on the floor.

Sirius felt his heart melt with love for her.

He planted his hands on her hips before he emerged, holding her close to him, with the excuse that it was so that Hess didn't have to move her feet like crazy to stay balanced, and not because Sirius felt he needed her close before that something inside him would break.

'Hi.' She said this time, the faces of the two were close enough for them to almost touch their noses.

Her dark brown eyes were perfect, seen up close, it was like seeing precisely the color nuances of a molasses, or a caramel, Sirius had not yet decided.

'Hi, again.' Hess smiled, not that big smile where her eyes got those little wrinkles on the side, but still, it was a smile. 'I missed you,' he admitted, clasping his hands on her hips a little, just because he missed it.

'We saw each other two hours ago ... Or was your mind already eaten alive and you forgot?' She smiled, and this time showing her teeth, and her cheeks took on even more color, especially in that part near her nose.

'You know what I meant.' He wasn't even ashamed to look like a fool in love. 'And my mind was eaten alive, yes, but it was because of you.'

'Me?' Her hands touched his arm, and Sirius didn't even realize that Hestia hadn't touched him yet, until she did. He felt breathless at the sensation of her warm palms holding his biceps, as if to help gain balance. 'I did nothing.'

'For that reason,' Sirius sighed. ‘Sorry for all the fights, I was a little crazy just to imagine someone hurting you.’

'You shouldn't have gone after them, especially after I asked you not to do that.'

'I know, but you understand why I went, don't you? I wouldn’t sleep peacefully thinking that- ’

‘But I asked you not to do it, didn't I?’ Her eyes didn’t seem to get that darkened color of when she got mad, as it happened every other time they argued about it. ‘They don’t deserve all that attention.’

'Doll ...' Sirius sighed in defeat, hiding his head in her neck, intoxicated by her sweet scent. 'I would kill someone if I knew that person hurt you,' he admitted, because it had been his will, if it weren't for James and Remus pushing him into an empty room, trying to get Sirius to think with his head and not with heart.

Unlike the time he dided that prank with Snape, which he didn’t think about and didn’t imagine what could happen to Rem, and all that stupid idea involved, Sirius was aware this time, he probably would have done a lot worse than just playing those Slytherins into a house with an uncontrolled Werewolf. He should remember to thank Remus and James for stopping him.

Sirius was embarrassed for that, after the anger stopped burning inside his chest, and he saw that he had ruined everything, Sirius wanted to cry for the first time in a few good months. Perhaps the last time he had felt so lost and empty, had been when he ran away from home, on vacation last year.

'I know how to take care of myself, you need to trust me.' Hestia hugged him, her head lying on his shoulder, allowing Sirius to have more access to her neck.

'I really trust, I just ... Doll,' Sirius lifted his head, looking into her eyes, wanting her to understand how deeply he loved her. Saying those words was too difficult. 'I trust you, I know you can take care of yourself, I know that, I just ... Hess, I would rather be tortured, than have to see someone hurt you. I would die before I allowed any of my friends or you to be hurt.' Sirius hoped that Hestia understood that she was in a category apart from his friends, not because she was not his friend, but because she was so much more than only that.

'Siri ...' She looked at him as if Sirius were a puppy, her arms wrapped around his neck, her brown eyes never leaving his. 'Don't say that, I never know how to answer.' This time it was Hestia who hid, giving an impulse upward and wrapping her legs around his hips, running away from his eyes when she hid her head in the curvature of his neck.

Sirius wanted to laugh, but the feeling of love that surrounded him when he felt her holding him, looking small in his arms, made him just kiss her head, his eyes closed to support the feeling of his expanded chest with the swirl of emotions.

‘You don’t have to answer, just because you still want to stay here with me, it’s already a good answer.’ He admitted, because it was true.

Sirius was afraid, in the middle of everything, when Hestia moved away from him, when they started fighting and looking a lot like what Prongs and Evans were like at the beginning of the year, and even last year. He didn't like to argue with Hestia, he didn't like fighting with anyone he cared about, but she mostly.

'But I want to, because I feel like I never answer you, and ... Just give me a minute,' she murmured, still clinging to him.

'Are you going to break up with me?' Sirius joked, even though his chest tightened at the thought.

He walked to the stairs, holding Hestia firmly by the thighs, keeping her in his lap as he sat on one of the steps, keeping both of them under the hot water as much as he could.

'I don't think I would be like this with you, if I wanted to break up.' She looked at him, a lovely smile on her lips. 'And it would be a little difficult to be firm when I'm on your lap.' Her cheeks came back with that pink tone that he was in love with, and Sirius laughed at the feeling of happiness that invaded him.

'I'm happy that my lap prevents you from thinking straight.' He straightened up on the bench, not because he wanted to make her realize that it was also difficult for him to think straight when she was sitting there, of course.

'Don't be an idiot,' Hestia laughed, small wrinkles appearing in the corner of her eyes, as she hit his arm, making Sirius laugh too. 'Stop moving, I need to think.'

'Make yourself comfortable, Doll, I'll be here as long as you want.' He leaned on the other step, trying to gain some distance from Hestia just to be able to breathe and think with his head up, keeping his eyes in the foams around them. Sirius knew he would collapse if he paid attention to how pink the color was on her, and how her skin was reddened from the heat of the water.

'I've been thinking,' Hestia started, and he looked at her. ‘I don’t want to be fighting with you and,’ She looked away from him, around the bathroom, as Hestia always did when she needed to think or was embarrassed. 'I know I said other times that I didn't want to, but, I think I was just scared, you know? There is a war out there, I already lost my mum, but at the same time, I don't want to lose you, and just thinking about losing you I almost go crazy. I didn't want you to go and talk to the Slytherins because I don't want them to realize how easy it is to affect you ... I don't want that if you-know-who needs to find a weak link in the Order, they know about you. Do you understand?’ He nodded, resting his hands on her hips again. ‘I like you a lot,’ Sirius smiled, the ego swelling inside his chest, thinking about all the other times that he had been the first to say that, hoping she would return.

'I like you too, a lot,' Sirius said, just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut when Hestia was declaring herself to him.

'Before you arrived, and these past few days, I was thinking about something you said a while ago but I said no, and ... If you still want me to be your girlfriend ...' She bit her bottom lip, and now her cheeks were completely flushed, even her temples looked pink, which was lovely, since Sirius didn't remember seeing her so flushed even when they had sex for the first time.

‘Are you asking me to date you?’ He could only be dreaming, honestly.

'I am.' Hestia rolled her eyes when she noticed the smile that was growing on his face, and Sirius felt that his face could tear at any moment. 'Do you accept being my boyfriend?' She joked, taking his hand on her hip, as if to put a ring on his finger.

'I don't know, I need you to ask Mia and Mont first, you know, out of respect and everything ... And I want flowers, a dozen at least.' The two laughed, but Hestia didn't let go of his hand, kissing his fingers and placing his hand on her cheek, supporting her face there. Sirius missed those moments of affection, warmed him up in a way he had never felt before. 'Of course, I accept. It’s also hard to think when you’re sitting on my lap.’

'Oh, I already know how to convince you to do the things I want, then.' Hestia leaned forward, bringing them closer, and they noses touched again. Sirius realized that they had not kissed until now.

'It is not difficult to convince me, Doll, I am all yours.' He closed his eyes, lost in feeling.

Hestia said nothing, preferring to close their distance and kiss him, calmly first, as if it were the first time again, the two of them still trying to understand how it worked, how they liked it, carefully.. It was he who attacked her most willingly, intoxicated with love, wanting more than anything in that life to kiss her forever, Sirius circled her waist, pulling Hestia closer, while the girl's delicate hands cupped his face.

He should remember to thank Lily tomorrow.

And to shout to the world that Hestia Jones was his girlfriend.

#sirius black #sirius x hestia #marauders #padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #marauders era fanfic #hestia jones

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dr-habit-b · 4 years ago

Text

In pursue of happiness

Stressed and tired.

Yeah, that was a good descriptor of Kamal on any given day. These last few specifically applied especially well, however. He’s not sure why exactly. He never is, but.. he can take a guess.

He rolled from his side to his back, staring up at the ceiling of his room as he hugged a mess of blankets against himself. He’d been awake for hours, but after doing his morning routine.. he just got right back in bed. He couldn’t bring himself to step out the door and face the work day.

Face his boss.

He groaned and smothered his face with his blankets, like it would help him stop thinking about it. But face it, Kamal, its all you’ve been thinking about. When he uncovers his face again he glances towards his window, sunlight slipping in from under his curtains. It had to be well past noon by now.

There was nothing he could do, he had decided hours ago. After extensive thinking, that was his only conclusion. And it frustrated the hell out of him. But honestly, realistically, it was true wasn’t it? He wasn’t stupid, he knew Habit had some... stuff going on, to say the least. Stuff he’d probably never be privy to, cause that’s not his business. So what changed? Why, all of a sudden, did this bother him so much?

...Maybe it was that someone else saw it too. That Habit wasn’t okay. Which confirmed to Kamal that his worries weren’t all just in his head, like they normally are. This was.. real. Very real.

Too real.

The idea that Habit was depressed wasn’t anything new to him. He understood, even though personally he found himself more Anxious than depressed, he’d been there before in his life. He could have helped, had it just been that.

But it... wasn’t, was it.

The idea that Habit went through some kind of trauma was very new to him. Not for any particular reason, it had just.. never crossed his mind. Personally, the biggest traumatic event he went through was falling down the stairs as a kid. That gave him a weird phobia of stairwells, but that was about it. Very cut and dry.

Habit, on the other hand... Kamal didn’t have a single, static idea. There was no way he could possibly guess whatever he must have gone through. Even with the little snippets he knew.. like how Habit was a dentist, and how he profusely refused to talk about it. How the mention of family makes him uncomfortable. A bad home life, maybe? But that could mean so many different things...

Even if he did find out, even if he did manage to get Habit to finally spill the truth... well, what then? What would he even do with information like that? Tell him ‘wow, that sucks, im so sorry.’? Was that it, was that really all Kamal could offer him? A few heartbroken words of apology, when he wasn’t even the one at fault?

No, that was shitty. That was so unbelievably shitty. If someone did that to him, he knows he wouldn't feel any better. So he shouldn't do that to Habit.

Augh, this is assuming Habit would even tell him about these things! He’s made it abundantly clear that there are just some things he Will Not talk about. Kamal respects that, because its not his business.

But, god. God it tears him up inside.

It would be one thing if he was just. Worried about his boss, about his friend. But it was just never one thing with him, was it! He tucked his face against his bundle of blankets in his arms, letting out a weary sigh as he felt his face flush.

This was ridiculous, and, and totally unprofessional, and just!...

Hrrmm... Not fair.

Coming to terms with these feelings had been a Process, one that Kamal still wasn't even through with. But no matter how many circles he ran himself in, no matter how he tried to rationalize or explain away the tight, warm feeling in his chest, he came back to the same answer.

He cared about Habit. More than a boss, more than a friend. Admitting it was hard, considering their professional relationship as boss and assistant. It felt... wrong, somehow. Who falls for their boss?

Suppose Kamal does. And truthfully, was it even.. that weird? After all, Habit and Kamal never really acted like boss and assistant. Those were terms they used, sure, but... first and foremost, it felt like they were friends above all else.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy.

Why it was so easy for them to get along in a way boss and assistant probably wouldn’t otherwise. Playful banter and comments were normal and expected. Habit was a very touchy-feely sort of guy so hugs, head pats, and general comforting touches became normal and expected. Kamal remembered when he thought it was weird, but he got used to it. He liked it, it made him feel... warm, and like he was home.

Lately, that warm, home-y feeling had become so much that it hurt. And oh, god, did that scare him something fierce. Because what.. what was he supposed to do? Even if he did risk trying to see if Habit felt the same way, he.. there was still so much he didn’t know. So much he knows he wouldn’t have the skills to deal with. Sure the possibility of rejection was scary enough as is, but. The thought of trying anyways, and screwing up, or.. hurting him? That was a thousand times more terrifying.

He cared about Habit. The big lug was just an awkward, well meaning teddy bear. He just wanted to make people happy, probably cause.. he wasn’t a very happy guy growing up. He had a big heart and even bigger imagination. He was so friendly and did his best to get along with everyone he came in contact with. It was charming when he gave folks Russian pet names, or how he slipped back into it when talking to himself. And, maybe most importantly, he was really respectful. Kamal’s not sure he’s ever been somewhere or met someone that respected people’s pronouns and comfort so much before.

He finds himself groaning into his blankets again, finding his face even hotter than it was before. That was all well and good, sure. He’ll admit it, he likes Habit! But...

That persistent, nagging anxiety is still there, at the forefront of his mind. The thought that he’ll hurt Habit if he tries to act on his feelings. The thought that he cant do anything to help him in a worthwhile way. Its quick to drain away all that warmth, and leave him feeling cold and tired.

Some assistant he was. Whatever. He was gonna sulk in bed all day. He’d apologize to Habit t-

Knock knock.

Kamal’s thoughts screeched to a halt and his heart jumped up into his throat as the silence of his room was broken. He was so startled and frazzled that he didn’t register the sound of his name, but when he heard the click of his door open he bolted upright just in time to see Habit poke his head in curiously.

Their eyes met and Kamal could see Habit visibly relax.

“Kamal! Oh, goode I was worryed.. You did not an-swer me when I knocked....” He gives the other a sheepish grin opening the door the rest of the way and stepping in. He taps his fingers together a little bit, and worry creeps into his expression again.

“Are... yew o-key? You hav’nt beene to the office.. ah, it is o.k if you’re are not feeling well!! Dide you get sick?” He’s quick to make sure Kamal knows he doesn't have to come up if he’s not feeling well. “Have u eat-en? Eye cam go get soup!”

Kamal’s chest gets all tight, and its almost enough to make him cry. Stop it, stop, stop. He shakes his head and turns away from Habit, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I-... Im.. ok, just... Not really in the mood t’get up, y’know?...” That was... honest enough, he thinks. After a moment of quiet he glances back over at Habit, only to flinch seeing him right next to his bed. Oh Jesus big guy, how were you so quiet?

Habit sighs, before giving Kamal a bright smile.

“Non-sence!! Yew will note feel bettr juste staying in bed! Come, come, I wiil help you.” Before Kamal can protest Habit scoops him up into his arms much like how he did that time Kamal was panicking. He looks pretty proud of himself, even as Kamal sputters in embarrassment.

He would have set Kamal down, had he asked or protested! He would! But he didn’t seem uncomfortable, at least, just embarrassed. That’s okay, the elevator ride up to the office is very short, and Habit is quick to set Kamal down once those doors open into the office. He’ll give him another smile and a pat on the head before stepping inside and going over to their little coffee station. Kamal has presumably been in bed all day, sleeping a lot.. he must be tired! Coffee will help. Coffee always helps.

For a second Kamal could only stand there, his face flush and his chest and throat so tight he felt it was a miracle he could even breathe. He finally stepped out just before the elevator doors started to close on their own, and he made his way to the office computer. The sunlight coming in from the window-wall stung enough as is, but the light of the big, clunky computer was... almost worse. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and decided to poke his head online a bit, see what was happening.

It was becoming very apparent that spending all day in his dark room, barely moving, and then suddenly being carried out into direct sunlight and made to move was gonna give him a killer headache. By the time Habit finished getting Kamal’s coffee already, he was holding his head in his hands and rubbing his temples.

Habit frowned to himself as he set the mug nearby, tapping his heels against the ground. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten Kamal up... it was a little rude, but he knows how laying around all day feels. Good in the moment! Very not good afterwards. He thought..

Before he could even think about saying sorry, Kamal is already waving him off with one of his hands. He could feel his boss just, staring at him with worry. Didn’t even have to look.

“Im- Im fine, okay. Just... got a headache. Don’t. Worry about it.” He drags a hand down his face with a sigh, picking up his mug and taking a sip of his coffee.

...His tone was too harsh just then, but it was too late to take it back now. He avoids looking at Habit, and after a second of silence he hears a small ‘ok’ before listening to those heels move away from him. His heart sinks, and now he just feels worse. Great, good job Kamal.

The rest of their time spent in the office is... quiet and awkward. Kamal spends a bit of time online chatting a bit, finishing his coffee, but ultimately.

He doesn’t feel any better.

When his headache starts getting too much for him to deal with he finally gets up and leaves. He gives Habit a wave and a short ‘going to bed’, but that’s it. He still doesn’t make eye contact or anything. Just... feels too awkward right now. Try again tomorrow, maybe.. after some sleep he’ll stop being so stirred up inside.

----------

Sleep didn’t help.

Kamal could hardly get himself to fall asleep after he left, and even when he did finally doze off, he kept waking up on and off all throughout the night. Reminded him a lot of his stressed out, tiring college days. You know, like... half a year ago now.

God he’d been working for Habit for about half a year now. It felt like forever...

When the sun finally started to rise, Kamal was already up and about. There was no point in making himself feel even worse trying on and off to get himself to sleep like he had been. He was in bed almost all day yesterday... he had to make it up to Habit.

An extensive morning routine later, he got himself dressed in clean clothes and made his way out of his room. He stopped, briefly, to look at the door to Habit’s room. He contemplated, for a second, knocking and seeing if he was up and about too. Habit was an early riser too... but, no. They could just talk when they met in the office.

The ride up the elevator was quiet and awkward. Stepping into the office was even more quiet and awkward. It didn’t seem like Habit was up yet, which... surprised him, but. It was early, maybe even earlier for him. Maybe.. he was getting some good rest, for once. Hopefully that was the case!

...Who was he kidding. After yesterday, after being so?... Worrying. Even he worried himself. He shouldn’t be letting his mess of feelings affect how he treats Habit. Or, anyone for that matter..

Its a while of just working in silence. He logged into the computer, checked some emails, checked some bills afterwards... not much going on today. Might be a nice, quiet day to just... relax! Relax. That sounds like a good day.

Once he gets some of his daily checkups finished he goes and starts making coffee. He’ll get one for Habit ready too, full of creamer and sugar, he’d appreciate it. Once he finishes he takes his coffee back over to the computer, taking a seat with a sigh. He sips idly as he decides to check on the blog this morning... and almost spits out his drink onto the screen. Wait, wait, what? It looked like there was a new post on blog... he looks around the room for a second, taking in the silence before looking back on the screen. When did Habit?.. Well, he was a very.. sneaky kind of guy, but. Geez, not even a hello?... Or was he just that spaced out making coffee? He couldn’t be 100% sure. Both options were... plausible.

Kamal decides to pull his knees up against his chest, sipping from his coffee idly as he just stared at the computer screen and waited. He kept glancing around the room, as if to see if Habit was sneaking up on him or not. He hadn’t even heard the elevator... or did he? He couldn’t even remember anymore, he was so focused on listening to the brewing coffee.

He groans as he thumps his head against his knees, silently cursing himself for being so... Like This. Useless, stupid assistant... get a grip already. You can do this.

Getting up and walking around a little sounds like a good idea, so thats what Kamal does for the next few hours on his own. Walks around, does some stretches, nothing special. Every now and then he’ll step out onto that little balcony, peering down into the carnival area and looking to the terrace. Hoping he’d see Habit, and maybe get the chance to wave at him, but. No such luck. Maybe he was hanging out with Jimothan or those artists... someone inside, probably. Hopefully.

Against his better judgement, he finds himself spacing out a little, just looking out into the sky. This place really was nice, up in the mountains... they always wondered what exactly this building was used for before Habit came along and bought it, but they never figured anything out. Maybe it was an abandoned passion project, or some sort of strange hotel. They’d never know. Guess it didn’t really matter-

Something suddenly brushes up against his back and his breath catches in his throat as he turns quickly, finding himself staring up at his boss. A smile twitches at the corners of his mouth and he hangs his head for a second as he lets out an over-exaggerated sigh, looking back up at Habit with a grin.

“M-man, big guy, can... can we like. Tie some bells to your sleeves, or something? Y.. you’re way too quiet.”

Habit looked worried for a second, afraid he made a mistake, but when his friend smiles up at him... he relaxes a bit, giving him a little smile back.

“Ah, but yew were note an-swering me.... Are... You feel-img bettr than yes-terday?”

Kamal visibly cringes and he sighs again, dragging his hands down his face for a second. So, he probably did space out earlier, too. God that must’ve been so weird, what was wrong with him?

Wait, no, don’t answer that. He shakes his head, dismissively waving his hands.

“I- no, no I mean yeah I’m. Better. Look, I uh...” He looks back up at Habit, making an effort this time to actually look at him as he speaks this time. His hands go behind him, holding onto the railing of the balcony.

“I’m... real sorry, ‘bout yesterday. I was... Had. Still have. A lot on my mind, and I was all stressed out, but I shouldn’t have... taken that out on you, even if it was only a little bit. So I’m... I’m real sorry, d-... Habit.” He tried his best to keep eye contact, but as he spoke his gaze drifted, till he stopped looking at his boss all together. He just couldn’t help feeling like he had to run away, to hide, to curl up into a tiny little ball and just disappear.

Habit just watched and listened carefully, intently, smiling gently at Kamal even as he started avoiding eye contact. When he finished he reached down and pat his head, only to run his hand down the side of his face and under his chin, coaxing him to look back up at him.

“It iz okay, Kamal. You should’nt worry so much for me. I... should note have gotten you up so sudden-ly. It should be me say-ing sorrey to you.” He smiles a little bigger, and is thankful when Kamal doesn’t protest. He doesn’t move his hand for a little while, till he starts getting embarrassed himself and decides its gone on too long.

He ushers them back inside more boisterously, hoping to clear the awkward air he feels he just created. He’s not dumb, he saw how red Kamal’s face got.

They head back over to the desk, Habit lets Kamal have the chair again while he leans against the desk. He’s tall enough to sit on it pretty easy, but he wont, that’s rude. He sips his cold coffee and they talk about mundane things for a bit.

Bills, emails, whats going on online, how check in went... normal stuff. Everything was normal!

“Do... yew want to. Talk a-bout?... Whate has been botherimg you?...” He gazes down into his last bit of coffee when he asks that question, tapping sharp fingers against the mug, making a peasant little sound. He can see Kamal stiffen up from the corner of his eye.

“It is o-key if you do’nt wante two. I under-stande.” He finishes the last of his coffee, but keeps the mug in his hands, continuing to make that pleasant little clinking noise with his tapping. He glances over to Kamal, who has his knees up against his chest. He really liked to sit like that... Habit never found it very comfortable, honestly.

He perks up curiously seeing Kamal take a big breath, his gaze softening as he realizes he’s trying to calm himself down. He starts to say something, but pauses when his assistant looks at him again.

His expression was... determined! But nervous, and anxious, and a little bit flushed. Habit just barely suppressed a snicker. Not that he would have laughed at Kamal, but... it was very cute. The determination drains from his face as he finally starts to speak, though.

“I just... don’t know if I. Should, y’know? I just, I mean.....” He waivers for a second before bumping his head against his knees with a frustrated groan.

“I. Care about you, Habit. A lot.” Okay, that part was out. Just.. gotta keep going, keep the momentum.

“But its... it’s hard! Not- I mean- not the.. the caring party, I-I more mean the...” No, no, stop. Pause. Take a breath. Try again.

“It’s just that... you’re. You’re my boss... that’s like. A whole thing on it’s own, but at the same time...” His chest tightens, and his expression saddens. Even just thinking about it, about...

“I don’t... really know you. At all. I mean, I know you’re a good guy, obviously. You.. have a big heart, and even bigger imagination. You really... care about other people, and what they want, and what they need. You’ve got such a.. positive energy around you that I just. Wish I had, or, wish I could... be apart of, maybe.” His face flushes a little more, but the words are coming easier now.

Now came the harder thoughts.

“But you never... talk about yourself. And I know that its.. hard, I do. You... you gotta gimmie something to work with though. Like, I.. up until a little while ago, I didn’t even know Habit wasn’t your first name? All I know is, is the tiny bits and pieces that I’ve had to gather and put together myself! And that’s!....” He lifts his head and looks up at Habit again. This time, the taller man avoids eye contact.

“That’s not fair. I- we, promised. That we would talk to each other! I just- I don’t even wanna know everything I just...” He starts to lose steam a little bit, and his momentum is grinding to a halt. He just feels tired now.

“I don’t wanna be in the dark about everything about you... I don’t, don’t wanna have to sit here and.. and assume, and worry, and just not know. All I know, for sure, is that... you had a bad childhood, and you still get nightmares about it. That.. could mean a million different things, a million different ways to know how to... to handle it, I just. I cant just... try and guess.” His voice progressively starts to sound more.. on the verge of panic, maybe? He can feel it in the way he talks, but he’s just so. Tired. He wants to help, he wants to know.

Maybe that was selfish of him.

For a moment that dragged on for an eternity, the two of them simply existed in complete silence. Hugging his knees to his chest was all Kamal could do to keep himself from bolting out of this chair and running away. Or throwing up. Either or. He could feel the anxiety spread from his chest to the rest of his body.

Habit didn’t feel much better. He stared at his mug so intently, you’d think he was trying to shatter it with gaze alone. Just in the tone of his voice, he could tell how deeply Kamal cared. And how much this meant to him, right here, right now.

It was like daggers in his heart. He’d never felt this from someone else before. It was always him giving out this sort of feeling to people. It was like being so deprived of food and finally getting a good meal, after years and years of nothing but scraps, that you couldn’t even scarf down or enjoy without making yourself sick.

Suppose he should have expected this. Lately, his nightmares had been worse. He desperately had been trying to put the past out of his mind, but... recently, it was like everything brought it back to the forefront of his brain. Like an annoying pop-up ad that wouldn’t let you hit the X to close it. It was bleeding out into how he acted, how he reacted, his mannerisms, the little things that made him jump.

Kamal was so smart, of course he noticed. How could he not? It was a miracle none of the other Habititans were as nosey.

After what felt like an eternity, Habit let out a long breath he had been holding. He turned to look at Kamal, his eyes tired and sad. Their gazes met, and this time, neither of them looked away.

“You... really wante to know? You want to knowe thise... part of me, ev-en if it changes how you feel?”

Kamal blinked, Habit’s last comment giving him pause. Changed how he?.. What was he about to tell him, exactly? It could just be an exaggeration, to make him back off, but...

After thinking about it for a second Kamal moved his legs so that his feet were on the ground again, looking up at his boss with a serious expression on his face.

Habit stared at him for a long while before giving him a weary smile, sighing heavily. He mumbled a quiet ‘ok’ before deciding to take a seat on the floor, cross legged with that mug still in his hands. He kept it to occasionally tap on as he thought over his words, where to start, how to say certain things...

He was quiet for a long time as he deliberated, but Kamal was patient, and waited quietly. He even slid down from the office chair to sit on the floor with his boss, which got him to chuckle just a little bit. It seemed to relax both of them, being on equal ground.

After a while, Habit finally spoke.

“Mine family was.... not. The best.” He started, and immediately his expression contorted into an expression Kamal had never seen on Habit before.

Hatred.

Habit tried so, so hard. For almost all of his life, to not let hatred become a normal feeling in his heart.

There had to be times when it slipped in, however. It couldn’t be helped.

“Mom was... verrey over-bearing. She al-ways wanted me to be juste like her. Her... малышка.” He grimaces at that word, not that Kamal understood. “Even whene I told her, thate I was.. umcomfortable, or did’nt want to do something... she did not listen. Ever. How do you say, ah, thate phrase... ‘Mother knowes best’? Yes, that was her. And if I did note list-en...” He shut his eyes for a second, letting out a sigh through his nose before he opened them again. “She... waz not the worste, at least. But, she woulmd pull on mine hair, un-til I cried and cried for her to stop. I am verriy sensative to it even now.. A smal tug will hurt like yew are ripping hair out.” He looks over at Kamal a bit and offers him a reassuring smile. No, he’s not upset you pulled his hair that one time. You didn’t know.

He looks back to his coffee mug, idly rotating it in his hands. When he thinks about what he’s going to say next, he cant help but let out a very short, bitter bark of a laugh.

“My... dad, on thee oth-er hande. Much, muche worse. Two bothe of us, me ande mom.” He stops for a second, taking a deep breath. Trying to settle his anger for a moment, before it bubbled over. “He... only re-spected himselfe. No-one else. God could have come downe in front of him, ande he would note care. He was.... was...” He scratches at the mug in his hands, biting his bottom lip a little bit. Even now, even now.... He shakes his head, resigning that thought for the time being.

“Mom and dad were bothe doc-tors. They were fighting all the time.... Yelling. Screaming. Ne-ver smiling. It... made me so sad.” Even thinking about it now, after everything. It still made him sad. “Once, when I waz... ten. On-ly ten. I had raized a verre special flower.... I wamted to show them. To make them Happy.... I loved flowers verri much, back then... but...”

He sucked in a sharp breath, raising a hand to cover his mouth for a second. He flinched slightly feeling a touch on his arm, only to look and see Kamal staring up at him worriedly. He managed to smile from behind his hand, letting out a shaky breath. He laid a hand over top Kamal’s and left it there, while his gaze drifted upwards.

“Mine dad... he... saw me giving kissies to my flower. I wamted to make him happy, my lily.... but... it did note make dad happy. I stille do not know why, but he got so. Mad. Fury-ous. He... hurt my lily. Thene, he hurt me.” He finds himself lightly tracing over the scars where it happened. He remembered it vividly, and it made him shudder uncomfortably. He wouldn’t go into detail.

“Hhe.. broke mine smile. I was... bro’kn. And my lily was hurt. Oh, I could heer him cryimg.... it was aw-ful. At first, I felt more sad for my lily... but..." He lets out a short, bitter laugh. "Like I saide, I waz... bullied, harsh-le, by mine peers, for my bro'kn smile."

He glances down at Kamal, who hadnt looked away from him this whole time. He could see the worry and pain on his face clear as day... it hurt his heart. He didnt want people to worry about him.

But... Kamal wanted to know. He looks back down at the mug in his hand, his other squeezing Kamal's underneath it.

"They wamted me two be a doc-tor too... they forced me. Eye had no say. I waz made to have per-fect grades, I had tutors, and ex-tra lessons frome a verre early age... hahh, it worked! I waz al-wayes the top of my class.... By the time I waz al-most graduated, I made a de-cision... if I had to be a doctor, eye would be one who helped thoze with bro'kn smiles. Like mine. I be-came a dentist. I... left my home, ande came here. It waz what mine parents wanted, but... I waz happy to leave. To be a-way from them." He sucks in a sharp breath, letting out a long breath. "I hav'nt seen theme since. It haz been... years and years."

He looks wsary as he thinks about the next portion of his life. It... was easier, but.

"Coll-ege, was.... fine. People were so.. un-happy, thou. Just like mom n' dad. No smiles. So muche.. complaining, amd fighting, and sadness. I could'nt bee happy either. I juts wamted to finish and go worke. I... I waz able to finally be me, thou. Thate... thate was nice." He perks up a bit feeling Kamal squeeze at him, and when their eyes meet, he can read his confusion easily. He smiles sheepishly, before turning his head away.

"I waz... raised as a. A girl, yew know. Long long time ago now... But whene I got here, a-way from... everyone eye ever knew, I de-cided to change. It.. it was verrey hard, amd. I still got... got bullied, a lot, but. I chamged my name! And cut my haire... and no, I did'nt like it, haha." He smiles almost.. fondly at the memories, before he starts frowning again. "I stille get... nervouse, going by mine new name. As if... my parents will. Will show up, amd yelle at me, and tell me I ca'nt. Thate it iz not normal, that I ame just..."

He shuts his eyes and grimaces, trying to push the bad thoughts out of his head. No, its okay, you're. Okay. When he opens his eyes again he looks down at Kamal, giving him a small smile.

"The name I chose for mine self, waz.. is, Boris. I do note know, but.. some-thimg about it felt.. right. May-b it was cause it sounded manley, haha! I.. liked it, thou." He casts his eyes downwards, humming a bit. "I coulde never change my laste name... I wamted to, to... tru-ly escapt my parents, but... ah, weel. Mine uncle was a verre good man. Kimd, but stern, and always nice to me... I su-pose I kept it to staye close to him, in a way. Thou, eye doubt I will... ever see him againe."

He takes a deep breath, slowly exhaling through his nose. He doesnt look at Kamal when he speaks up again.

"I knowe it does'nt seem like it, but... there iz a deep, deep hatred for mine parents in my heart. I woulde not be sad for they're deaths. They were..." His voice catches a little bit, but he pushes through it. "...evil. Thate is what I thimk. I coulde tell you so, so much that they did, but... it would be two much. Fore you, and me. I think... yew get the pic-ture though, hah..."

He feels two hands squeezing his arm now and he looks back to Kamal wearily, blinking at his determined expression.

"Do you really think that- that me knowing... any of that, would. Would seriously change how I see you?" His voice cracks a tiny bit, full of emotion threatening to spill over. Habit's- no, Boris' surprised expression doesnt change this. "I still care about you, I care about you so much. I want... to be here for you, to, t-to help you, and, and I..."

Kamal shakes his head and rubs his eyes for a second, fighting off tears threatening to spill over. Be strong, be strong. When he looks back up at Boris, his eyes are still teary, but his expression is still full of resolve.

"I w.. wanna see you happy, Boris. I wanna see you smile for real. Please..."

Ohh... now its time for him to get all teary eyed. Emotions well up in his chest and throat, dangerously close to turning him into a blubbering mess. He hadn't known what to expect, he had never... told anyone these things, before, but he had been expecting the worst. For Kamal to.. get scared, or.. upset, or even grossed out maybe, but no.

Kamal was always so kind and sincere to him. They hadn't even known each other for very long. It was so... he didnt even know how to explain.

"Yy.. y-you're are sh.. shore, Kamal?" His voice breaks, and his tears finally spill over. He has to confirm, he needs to be certain.

When Kamal nods, thats all he needs. He grabs Kamal and pulls him into a big hug, trying to hold back his sobs and failing. He wasn't so sure why exactly he was crying so hard. Talking about everything was draining, yes, but. It didnt make him cry. Maybe he was just... happy? Did people cry from happiness? He's not sure he ever has.

He's so used to crying when it feels like his heart is being torn apart. Right now, it feels more like... his heart is full to bursting, and it almost seems to make it worse? He doesnt know how to handle it, so he just.

Clings to Kamal, crying against him while the other rubs his back and pets his hair, faintly hearing him say that it was okay.

Things were okay.

----------

The rest of the day slowed to a crawl. The two of them left the office to Boris' room. No words were exchanged, they didnt need to be, right now. The two of them.. simply existed with each other, in quiet content, until the day grew long and sleep took in the both of them.

Morning was no different than normal, except they woke with each other. They exchanged embarrassed, sleepy smiles, giggling like kids who just got away with something.

They separated to do their respective morning routines, reuniting in the elevator. They still said nothing to each other, but continued to exchange little smiles, only to giggle like they were playing some sort of game.

Things slowly returned to normal as they returned to work, but it was more... relaxed. Normally Habit was the touchy-feely one, but Kamal found himself playing with his boss' hair, leaning against him, touching his arm... occasionally their hands would touch, but. They'd start laughing, and never actually held hands.

Boris was sure he'd never felt this good in his whole life. He really was... happy, for once.

#the smiler (ooc)#smile for me #smile for me game #dr. habit #kamal bora #the smiler's stories (mun writing)#long post #(drabble done! mostly i think lol)#(i may come back and edit when i have... actual wifi)#(instead of my phone's hotspot)#(and a desk to work from)#(but!!!! but but but)#(IM... happy with this i think)#(i feel like my interpretation as to how the habitat was before flower kid came along is verryy different than what most peopel thing hsdfh)#(REGARDLESS)#(i hope some of y'all can enjoy the read u wu feel free to lmk what you think!!!)#(i worry about how i write Kamal sometimes so hdsfhf)#(also idk if i rly like the title but whatever)#(flaps my hands)

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persona5-imagines · 7 years ago

Note

ann x futaba headcanons? they're such a rarepair but i love them,,,, ;0

[im not too good with shipping stuff so!! i dide my best :3c]- since futaba seems way more talkative over messages rather than in person, and ann tends to do modeling jobs its a relationship that works mostly over text than in person.

- i can imagine that they gossip and make fun of the boys ryuji mostly and stuff like that. Mostly Ann gossiping and doing what she does!

- maybe Ann trying to take interest in what Futaba does and kind of failing at it.She’d try really hard to understand computers and hacking etc. but she just can’t wrap her head around it

- futaba trying to understand how Ann is able to do all those modelling jobs with out burning herself out too much. more so in a way she’s trying really hard to be supportive but due to her shut in ways tends to just not know what Ann is talking about regarding her jobs

- That being said, they send each other really nice messages once in a while! Like Ann will send Futaba reminders to stay hydrated and to eat (because she’s a sweetie goodness) and Futaba sends little messages like “good luck with your job : D”

- They share clothing. a lot. more so of shirts and things but Ann loves to wear some of Futaba’s dorky shirts with her outfits and Futaba wears Ann’s jackets (but they’re big on her becaUSE SHES A SMOL)

- Futaba’s hair is so much longer than Ann’s that Ann just likes to play with it when they cuddle!! sometimes when its too hot she’ll braid it around Futaba’s head like this [link]

- they both eat a lot i think. they’d be the couple that eat weird foods just to try it. like candy squid or mayo chips

- Ann would definitely take Futaba’s glasses and goof around with them

- Futaba sometimes sees things online and orders them for Ann as little surprise gifts. like maybe flower fairy lights and dumb stuffed animals

[Jellie]

#jellie #futaba sakura #Ann Takami #ann takamaki #futaba x ann #ann x futaba

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the-genius-fanfiction · 7 years ago

Text

Stormy Weather - First Case in the Field (Part 2)

Right as we were boarding the plane, lightning brightened the dark clouds that had rolled in. Thunder boomed so loudly, the plane shook slightly. “Pilot says we can’t take off until the storm subsides. Luckily, the hotel we booked with had 3 rooms left,” Hotch paused, “Unfortunately, they only had rooms with king sized beds... So we will need to share.” He finished. On the way, we discussed who would be sharing rooms with whom. Aaron decided he would share the room with Rossi and Prentiss said she would share with Morgan. This left the last room to Reid and I.

**Reid’s Point of View**

I think Prentiss did this on purpose. She even looked me in the eye before she said she would share with Derek. I swear that this was going to be torture. Sure, I thought Ivy was attractive, but sharing a room might not be a great idea. I have a lot of self control, but I don’t want to do anything to compromise our friendship or team.

We arrived at the hotel and each went to our respective rooms. “You can have the bathroom first, Reid,” Ivy said with a smile. I nodded nervously and entered the bathroom. I climbed into the shower and washed my hair and body. Trying not to think about the fact that we were going to share a bed. It wasn’t working.

I got out and started to dry my hair and looked in the mirror. “Calm yourself, it’s just one night, and a king sized bed... Plenty of room to stay apart.” I whispered to myself. I put on my white t-shirt and pajama pants and left the bathroom.

She was patiently sitting on the end of the bed, flipping through channels. when she looked over at me. I stopped in my tracks, studying her face and features. She was gorgeous, and I needed to be careful. We were finally beginning to talk without feeling awkward with each other.

She got up and walked towards me. My heart and time stopped. “My turn,” Her voice like the sweetest thing I have ever heard. She glanced up at me as she walked past and ruffled my wet hair even though she could barely reach. Her eyes, green as the leaves of a rose. Her smile brightening the room as she laughed about my wild hair.

The door closed and I heard the shower run. Wondering about if she thought of me the same way.

**Orion’s Point of View**

I ruffled his hair and laughed as I walked past. His face looking surprised at my touch and his jaw hanging a bit. I wanted to stop and wrap my arms around him, but I couldn’t. I knew better. I closed the door behind me and got undressed, let down my hair and set the hair tie and my glasses aside on the counter. I started the shower and looked at myself in the mirror, as I am sure he had not that long before me. “It’s just one night, Ivy. The weather channels say the storm will clear tomorrow.” I said out loud to myself, but quiet enough for my voice to stay in the room.

Although the shower was only 15 minutes long, it felt like forever. Pulling the curtain open and stepping out, I nearly slipped. “Woah!” I shouted. I could hear Reid jump up and knock at the door. “Is everything all right, Orion?” I heard him say through the door. “Yes, everything is fine,” I said and panicked. Hoping he wouldn’t open the door. The last thing I need is for him to see me naked. “I am fine, floor is just a little slippery,” I said to him. I could feel my face turning red again.

I grabbed a towel to dry myself when I realized that I forgot my pajamas. “Crap!” I whispered to myself, “Hey, Reid?” I asked through the door, hoping he was still there. “Yes?” his voice muffled by the wood between us. “Um, c-can you grab my go-bag, I seem to have forgotten my clothes,” I requested with a soft giggle at my own forgetfulness. I could hear him fumble through the hotel room and come back with a gentle knock.

I unlocked the door and put my arm through to get the bag and swiftly pulled it into the bathroom to ensure I wouldn’t be seen. I put on my black tank top and my yoga shorts that I wear to bed. I started rubbing at my scalp with a towel trying to dry my long hair. I stepped out of the bathroom still rubbing my head. I looked into the direction of the bed to see the blurry form of Reid.

He had turned off the TV and it looked like he had a book in his hands and even though I could not make out every detail, I could tell he looked towards me. My heart fluttered a bit as I walked towards the bed. He was on the far side and we attempted to get comfortable. I moved some of the extra pillows between us, in hopes of preventing me from doing something stupid and I could feel him staring at me as I did this.

“Is there something wrong, Orion?” Reid asked. I jumped, not expecting him to notice. “Huh? Oh,,, Uhm... Well... No... I just... Well, I nest,” I tried to create any excuse to be building this barrier. I heard him let out a little laugh. “You... Nest?” he commented through giggles. “Yes... I rearrange comfy things to resemble a nest,” I answered, “stop laughing at me!” I swung a pillow at him playfully. “Ow, hey! I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it!” He said, still laughing. I swung again and he stopped this one, trying to pull it away from me. I didn’t loosen my grip enough when he took it, and I went flying towards him, tackling him onto the bed.

Now on top of him, our faces mere inches apart, my vision still blurry from not wearing my glasses. I could still tell that we were both blushing. “Uhm sorry, I didn’t let go fast enough,” I apologized, frantically trying to push myself up off of him. Once I was sitting up again, I pulled my hair over to one side to rest on my shoulder and looked away, trying to hide my embarrassed face. “It was an accident Orion, don’t worry about it,” he started, “You know, statistically, most people with darker colored eyes tend to have a faster reflex time.” He spouted the fact and although I couldn’t see him, I knew he was pointing to his eyes. “What color are your eyes anyways?” I asked, this time deliberately getting into his face to see him. I ended up so close to his eyes before they came into focus for me, I could see them dilate.

**Reid’s Point of View**

I bit my bottom lip a little. I had to fight the urge to show her how I felt, but I could swear I saw her eyes dilate at the same time I felt mine. I tried to think of facts that would keep my feelings at bay. Her face was in mine still when I told her “Did you know that only 2% of the world’s population has green eyes? Whereas brown is the greatest at 55%,” She finally pulled her face away, I let out a quiet breath of relief.

“What were you reading anyways?” She asked, clearly trying to change the subject. “Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales,” I answered picking my book back up. “Have you read the Miller’s Tale yet?” She asked in a very excited tone. “I’ve read all of them,” I replied, her face lit up as she jumped out of the bed. She ran over to the bathroom and came back with her glasses and jumped into the bed, sliding in next to me as I opened the book. “You enjoy Middle English?”

“Enjoy it? I can’t really get into any other types of literature,” she tipped the book towards her and read a few lines. “This is my favorite part,” she said, pointing to one of the sections:

~~"Why, nay," quod he, "God woot, my sweete leef, I am thyn Absolon, my deerelyng. Of gold," quod he, "I have thee broght a ryng. My mooder yaf it me, so God me save; Ful fyn it is, and therto wel ygrave. This wol I yeve thee, if thou me kisse." This Nicholas was risen for to pisse, And thoughte he wolde amenden al the jape; He sholde kisse his ers er that he scape. And up the wyndowe dide he hastily, And out his ers he putteth pryvely Over the buttok, to the haunche-bon; And therwith spak this clerk, this Absolon, "Spek, sweete bryd, I noot nat where thou art." This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost yblent; And he was redy with his iren hoot, And Nicholas amydde the ers he smoot.~~

I looked at her with a brow raised. Orion gazed up through her lashes, and her glasses slid down her nose a bit. “What? I’m weird and enjoy Middle English potty humor... Okay?” she retorted, a shy smile and a chuckle escaping her lips.

**Orion’s Point of View**

He looked like he wanted to explode into a fit of laughter. It was true though, but why was I telling him this? “You’re judging me, I can feel it,” I said, looking up at him. That was it, he let out the loudest laugh I have ever heard from him, so bad, that he was in tears and hitting the bed. “Shhhh! Stop that Spencer! If the rest of the team hears you banging around like that, they’re going to think we are up to no good!” I said in a hushed tone, laughing with him and grabbing at his hand to prevent it from lifting again.

“We should probably get to bed,” I said to him, taking my glasses off and placing them on the side table and reaching for the light cord. He reached over me to put his book next to my glasses, his smell enveloping me. I unintentionally took a deep breath as he leaned back over and settled into his side of the bed.

“Good night star child,” he said over his shoulder, jokingly using Penelope’s nickname for me. “Good night boy wonder,” I responded, pulling on the cord to turn off the lamp. After a few moments of silence and a lot of rolling around, I heard him whisper, “You did really well on the case today. How did you come to all of those conclusions so quickly?” he asked as he rolled over to face me. “I am always looking for patterns. I was also in a lot of art classes, so pinning down images is another thing I’m good at,” I tucked my arm under the pillow my head was resting on, “It was also a gut feeling.”

“Oh, well that makes sense then. Hopefully next time, though, you won’t walk into such a dangerous situation without protection,” his tone going from impressed to concern. “What protection? I had a vest on, and I stayed behind you and Prentiss, like I was told,” I answered, “Besides, you wouldn’t let anything happen to me... Would you?” I asked propping my head up using another pillow. It was dark, but I could hear him rub his head into the pillow and he answered, “I would never let anything happen to you.”

“Good. Maybe I’ll have to train to have a gun so I can protect you too,” I said with a smile that he could hear. We both giggled and fell asleep.

I woke to a calm steady breath on my shoulder and protective arms wrapped around me. I realized it was Reid. He must have climbed over the pillow barrier in his sleep. Frantic, I checked to make sure I was still wearing clothes, considering that I usually kick them off by morning. I sighed in relief, they were still on, but my shirt had ridden up a bit and his arms were making direct contact with my skin. It felt so nice, but I had to wake him up.

"Reid?" I whispered, tapping his leg. "Reid," dragging out his name this time as I shook his hip. He inhaled deeply and nestled further into my hair and as he exhaled, it managed to hit that one spot on my neck that caused my entire body to shudder. His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer.

"Reid!" I shouted. He jumped awake, immediately withdrawing his arms from my waist. "Oh... Oh my God... Ivy, I am so sorry," he was mortified. "Do you always cuddle whoever you share a bed with?" I asked with a giggle as I put my glasses on. When he came into focus, I could see his face was red with embarrassment.

He ran his fingers through his hair, propping himself up on his elbow. "Don't worry Spence, to be honest, I hadn't slept that well in a long time," I admitted as I sat up on the edge of the bed, looking at him over my shoulder. The sunlight from between the curtains was shining through the window, bouncing off of the mirror on the vanity across the room, highlighting his beautiful brown eyes. He was so gorgeous in this lighting, he could be a magazine model I wanted to caress his face and feel him against me again.

"Don't move," I said to him, he looked at me puzzled, his hand still laced in his hair. I grabbed my phone and took the picture. "The lighting is perfect and this moment makes a beautiful picture... Like... Magazine model perfect," after I told him, I realized what I had said and I tried to laugh it off. He laughed with me and asked to see. I sat on the bed again and leaned towards him with my phone, resting my head on his arm. "Wow... That is nice," he commented. “Told you... Art classes,” I said back with a smile.

I sat back up and went to the bathroom for my morning wake-up routine. When a knock came to our hotel room door. "Guys, storm cleared, we're going home now," Prentiss voice muffled. "Be out in a minute!" I shouted through back. I could hear her giggle as we finished up and got ready to head to the jet.

**On the Plane**

We all filed in and chose seats. I was the last one on and chose to sit in one of the back corners. The plane took off and everyone started settling in or getting snacks or beverages. I opted to get a cup of coffee and I returned to my seat. I was looking out the window and sipping my caffeine fix when Hotch took the seat in front of me.

“You did really well on this case Orion,” he started, “but you weren’t supposed to go into the house. You haven’t been properly trained for that.” I hung my head, wrapping my hands around my mug as I set it on the table, “I’m sorry, sir,” I said fidgeting with my cup, “I’ll stay at the station next time.”

“Actually, I just spoke to the director. You were instrumental in this case and we would like to have you as a full agent,” he said. My jaw dropped a little, I was not expecting this. I tried to speak, but could not find the words. “Don’t worry Orion, you don’t have to make this decision right now. Just let me know what you would like to do and we will see what we can arrange for you.”

I nodded enthusiastically, still unable to speak. He nodded back and went to another seat. Prentiss then came over and sat with me. “I hate you right now, Prentiss,” I whispered to her under my breath.

“Wha- What did I do?” she scoffed, trying to feign innocence at the situation that she put Reid and I through. She couldn’t even keep a straight face over it. Of course she would be the one to harbor me for those 2 months and because of it, she knew how I felt about him. “Oh no... you know exactly what you did,” I responded in a quiet, but frustrated tone. I took a sip of my coffee, trying to hide my facial expressions, “and don’t you dare try profiling me right now,” I added as I returned my mug to it’s place on the table.

“Don’t act like you didn’t wake up ‘refreshed’,” she said, winking at me. “What the hell do you think we did?!” I said through my teeth. “Listen, all I’m saying is that Reid hasn’t even spoken since we left the hotel,” she paused, looking over at shoulder at him. He was quietly playing chess against himself and didn’t even look up. “If nothing happened, then why don’t you go sit with him?” she suggested. “Why, so that all of you can profile us?” my words almost a hiss, “99% sure you all know already anyways...” I huffed. She let out a quiet laugh at my attitude and I went back to looking out the window.

We safely arrived back at Quantico and headed back to the office to grab what we needed and we had the rest of the day off. Even though almost everyone had left, I stayed behind to file some paperwork and submit reports. Heading out, I heard some shuffling around in the bullpen.

“Reid? What are you still doing here?” I asked the flustered genius as I pull the heavy glass door open. He looked up after finishing the page he was reading (which didn’t take long), a chess board set up next to him. "Just putting together my reports, almost finished up," and he looked over at his chess board and moved a knight. I dragged a chair over and moved one of the pawns as if it was my turn. He looked up with a big smile, "you play?" he asked. "Not well," I giggled, "I learned a bunch of games like this with my grandfather, backgammon is my favorite"

We continued our game, and of course I lost. "Well... That game was... Interesting," I let out a lighthearted laugh, looking up at the clock, "but I should probably go catch a cab before it gets too late." His face looked nervous for a minute, "would you rather have a ride home? Working long enough at this job causes me to not trust cabs and independent contract drivers..." he said, nodding with his words.

"I will take you up on that offer," I felt a smile grow on my face. "Great, let's get going then," he suggested, "where is you're new apartment?" I had to think really hard about it, I hadn't lived in Quantico long enough to remember the location well. "Uh, over on Main? I can't remember the exact house number," I laughed at my own stupidity, "but I do know what the building looks like."

“All right, just let me know when we get there,” he said with an enthusiastic smile as we both got onto the elevator. On the ride, when everything started looking familiar, I pointed to the building. “No way,” he said, his face showing some excitement. “Yes way?” I responded, confused by his enthusiasm. He pulled up to a space and I got out. My confusion increased as he got out of the car and locked it. “What are you doing?” I asked curiously. “Oh, you didn’t know?” he started. “Know what?” He had me genuinely confused now. “I live in this building too!” his exploded with happiness.

This was both amazing and terrifying.

We entered the building and he walked me to my apartment, which happened to be a floor below his. I put the key in the lock and opened my door and went to walk in. Reid stood kind of awkwardly. “Are you okay?” I asked with a little giggle. “Uhm,” he started. He looked down at his feet, his grip tightening and loosening on his bag. “I wanted to let you know,” he paused, kicking at the hallway carpet, “that was the best sleep I’ve had... In a very long time too.”

The expression he had was both shy and honest. I nodded with a smile and playfully nudged his arm, “I’ll see you tomorrow Spence.” He waved, “see you tomorrow Ivy,"and we parted ways.

I closed and locked the door behind me and heard shuffling footsteps go by my door. I knew that they weren’t Spencer’s because he had already gone up the stairs to his apartment. The footsteps briefly stopped in front of my door but continued and faded away. I paid no mind as I went to do my nightly routine.

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libidomechanica · 6 months ago

Text

And flocks at a job having open laughd her in odour fingers to me

A curtal sonnet sequence

Her beam had joyous love the corners of pleasure time nurse I love but aye she womb is mine, smooth shroud; and through the statesman’s cot came to this arm-chair? Upon thy bud’s the stars, the than she human door of Morn, her solid aim be dead, and set in Absál, and only thou may yet wi’ twa while the dark is a sheephooks, her eyes greater life. Wild night night!—And flocks at a job having open laugh’d her in odour fingers to me.

The wretched the Nymphes done? Only an auld make lilies, very flappers ever pales in this, that your cousin within my reckles and shadows, the Susan? The open at the bene that me, Soul was of pleasure, where one with them not persuade me witelesse grief-worn like friend, when shall broken having blade. That to thy Court, that thinking on mounting that we coupled, love. And gracelessed! No. That once plays, that overhear.

Do not at the muck of sunset, moon, or tongue, or belong areede the read Aristotle by such foremost, and Philoctetes indissectible&extending men, are lowly least of heavenly. Great loue refinger of a state, and other knew no rocks; of desires has a good and let the hair. In come from sacred hating that is truth and love the Prince, for home: they not heaven round, and gum, rich in yonder, dying.

Of pleasure, girdle me I knows. By those my heard sky the lights of a grey stone of all the Doctors and more, and sphere; and your purest I have love devise. Because I trow, lintel, scattering and you bend to me, nor was to me; Blythe air in the eye and ruin, and heart, and is, stella look our soul-tormenting flower blaze of monstellation, glow. But underbolt hangs hymns and you gave my life, a tiger-cat in they shorts.

The stomacher; on her, her laughing brown length, no spurre cannot heart, and to somehow shine, and make like watch bled not tell these two names were near, my secret, sad yearn. And lives. Like effection of light coin, that here. The sod from the tenses I stood like in the apartment the world, the bed touched forth to touch of thee: but Like just thousand heart beat admit to me, o dreary’s thy verse that time’s flocks that made the back, so much: but painter day.

In the house; and lo! In two strained creature of Heav’n, atone in a dastard in we ride. Sweet friend much moughts purely, loving knowledge is Head—clean to learnt, for one is deeper where there all the starres in wanted shadow with flow’r of a trembles and pledge is a shall the blanket, too, he one in the be, I change within the fast, to raunce: my old stars. Between me and is! Or clicked outstretched both in my returne, what had sunflowers.

Some on the discontent to vs lent, and thou are grow for some rest. Unto thee seen mine execution, and therewith flesh, than streame: she raise a low should the flower of a place of your hallop by, or as endless arrowes Melampode euery waves give up to dream; so cold, if you hast the dame that every moon to smooth-shaven, happy draughtiest boye, hey homewardings, some photographs, I told herself this arm-chair?

Never in her head! Whose body keepe. In the surf brightning soul in lover, but the tangled with fleshly fondling, thou rove, in her tyranny of old, bare true and me! A pond edge-tools! The cried, He lieth, for all the pride, the deaf moon-faced, Sirens these arrivals of the lonely by a fall vnsoft. Of his work of the Breathing underneath, I said Cyril: Pale great wishing at the Altars shine, the distance or there; while, whose her side.

New joy and he weapons heare always for studs, and perfect abstracts her genitals I found his own he swerved from pain. And as in clear, then my silken net, nor fragrance this mine earth, what loues daily chores: feeding on the star-light. And wonned not break of a man-at-armes dide. But you’re laid his pipe— the Rome in one to where pronounce, into eyes on the valley of yours. Night shine on all eat that flew, saw other due, love whatever.

I got so it compact of a tun to breadth of Mercy opening in the grave. Withdraw in all make men! Even corne Astraean and structure declar’d but to not go gentle into me. Upon sandy food from walles to move, that straight called houre times to itself and under harding sod; they thee on mothers and smooth-sharp shall broke of life in wine. It holden delight and the multitude; wise wish: but is; and gay, for one mercy!

He hills to no earth beauty purple bunch of irksome were shepheard of sugarcane, that rest, which were starry tide; the hollow’d fu’ low unto your name, where pass’d then, all clinking him to me; Blythe ascending rallying, loue doth shade. I must least pass’d their flocke, where you blush, and only within clumsy jacketh distance the Muse, star-shadow of a spirit of sharply state, thy Kingdom isolate the bones dead of Ida, to save.

Surf bright of man! Her mine, rose high tube soft sawe it, and day, and glutterie is: and sated to speak, soon: it strands enmesh your own quill danced it, Floria victi. To spreading noted China, to cathedral. Why were were apart, and doat. Yet the inscription crabbed and sticks, and sung of the green. That is square of houre thinner shone like more the Kiss of flowed in lilies, that might ourself this whole your whole World consumed with her? Wherein was.

On black not heart bailey bene father, weak for you can triumph—let then a bless, he man office theyr sheepe thy brain of love; yet you, that lay about her penny that thy rays on two stroke her fear thou have been word to sulphurous Earth so right wi’ a crown, what ill-sound than South-deep so charme many time, O Season knells of Novembers fall out of all alone cost,—that I most frame, o dread and she part of prompting stone: our lips.

And you’d like thought out of that we again I would auntie Katie upon my affect but him, and swells me in the held answer, Madam, all or ill, I all we sins o’ a’ the choir sheepe hand how thine—and feebler heel whelms us ally your of a bird, sith this my suit you learnt, for his auld making seene. Bid you bend tost it well she same these fits old where in order hard by dismantling in my breast—my enemy Fraunce.

Rehab and therein my Muse doth rises up: embracelestial kindly she salt Medway, mortal lovelightning league be my Son, what every peryenched within the conceals in me. Down the cup hast of the trickened, which circumscrib’d, and for good night will ne’er willowing room besides to one must be extinct against your round it our Head, and two dear after her make one rosebud with ever descended to his leave.

What too bright! And die! Your arrow, and the late, as the my lords but I mighty government, and whispered star, have not you, break me in vainly, this private in wedges lay live for Stella, died of use right eyes that walk that least night the little what axelike it. The moment is hills, and say, Fair of the sun and Lo! ’Er that look the face morals to your Highness so little of blood was fierce in commonwealth. My blonde, and fear.

Whether, while ringle grow. ’ I trust you is the Song. Trample she warm’d, and die. Worn like the tearest rose, then unharm’d, carrying and grin of one date; as earth live ourse, when a bound, yourses, a started sheepe like a God’s furrows send it is it strong in my break of double world, though the circum-walk here long, and pass’d the dying, choking out baptism, a thine—and so tend upon the square, sleek Odalisques, falcon, and this wind.

Are your bookless; like the hill shepheard be in the ear, was like the timeless majesticulous organism that fair Nine, and grace of grieves from wall in love oft through she-wolf within the woman’s could not a red in a cute can he vnto stone: and I. And one I love: she answer, agape, her heiress him and that, ’ she break my life, the wish: but still, even Some west, She knee to depart of some neighbouring sports beneath from fear!

Here is miss him to land revive I speak with jealousy from they-love or Greek join, the years like a chambers better the weeping hearts hinges at the bed bad, on the vernal numbers foly one, hey ho thee, cut of pine-grown paper to youth, and ivy bud’s thy Court we two were a dainty that sithens neuer sheepehears as in the hoasts nor a lang; they brim. One on the fiery grasses on my heart. What made our lord!

What doth giue darkness, stone thyself almost rove to fill at you were she same flocked in spirit of tomorrow, and other still my mothers are—the memory by a new pan. Her contented by the bars to stick mard but every well a-weeping appear up by its rear my content to her the heat sculptures of duties everywhere him, myself and Lucy house where him against all and sighing, and all my wings; by the bleached.

Among men, alas! They pretence of their fast, however acquiesce, a brotherwise wild would an empire of heale the planisphere; they turtles, falcon, and under thine in which wrough great deeper where icy and need form, the sky and sail’d the secret, ah, my Wulf is other body already to veil a notarize our pain, an easily sunder, die. For, weakness moon. Carry gun? Where are thunder your Princess!

Who am now this said they raiment, to fetch foreign—back in: albeit our promise you shouts form, limping all all unarm’d. I prize, boasting levin, that made of the praise rehead, dog how your lady to the did plane sits Diotima, teached bird a- wing …. And waters hidden my Muse way, for one other swayne: as meeke morning, where fierced the game of dead, thou hast night to thy Feet, and liued in happing into another limbs.

And sleep sight for the muck of deservice of deeply, because same did gliding the morn before, she hands, your land rave Lochinvar? Your eyes were on thy must not soil the image to have I behold I fell, my mouth were not—Continues for than in coming with the galliard did me here. Once of some hid and round, last passing this many her fly from Paradise, and so, even mazer alone is notes lesson when were like thee.

Softest dream; but—ah she shrieking a little neuer shepherd, but hard self for you take to purge from far and them spreads were curious he bones that give heaven a care the hither did moves with good and them: o bring in lowly dales already have dream our land, as drops about me, whose in His style if your forget till to have a touched below my face, but on earth by on tongues of air—Rome is these dream. He feeling, called the world.

We might will below my harp shall else fled from Psyche, both in the did then down. And all the raised the words beetle brows, with the fashion, sent for they will I but if aught moon, and she stone with using; is come from is so loved and admit the long woo’d your unguarded, and Moon, and he creature’s ghost since the squaws of dreery death. She receive it; and spite of worth I been, in the secrets, fear, and at hold the day. You gave me; heauie cheeks.

Rage, the yearning the older plan, and years backwards, truest then—speaks out you wilt send; it is in clumsy jacketh Perigot of holes. And all creations of woman’s eyes of old erect beholders, Fenwicks, what, but such like a please you, look down in my healing I forc’d, the wretch at always crowds, cuckoo-like, named from his hands death! I did not made answer, sculptor—so, you wept in mirrors slide into her to receivest, drown’d.

But a laesie were we none, somewhere a human prior can know, and soone myght by thee she: how it narrative by young man, and let it. At not know I am sad thoughter theories flying this my breathe sighing storm. A librarian asked below. When, and her how, ’ my brain sentence, thy sweat from breathe, then a caring to Heaven and vows of brass will have and unruffled; the gentlewoman and breast! I knew you and my teare.

Her soft storm. Her pearl for heroines was, as a kissing, dying on thy soul to shed; and with the fading cast than wealth bruzd his epitaph above tie; next, Virgil I’ll drink to the South until mine. They musickes of music of my mother on my cryes, I reuerence to one date; for the come; nor from home: they them did gracefu’ air; and beauties in you, that work of a day the sacred poison on my knee-high hearde wall.

We were to seed, the stane, the radiant kids will arrive behind the took alofte, the staid not could her litanies, your great deep into eyes, let thee, whose hallowing, the three, and that talking of the heart, let all. Our eyes, and castles already turning said, Sweet and make all Time downe that once places on the Dragon from where thou medless sigh brake, when pity we were alike. I meaning delight the same why, if it pleased us.

Still he great deep tone with my skilled, and I. Mutual or in the sun after Adams of such day, and hastily we prow, he large and of a mate; and acted lead turned tow’rd his hand, be of youth, and to flower, Madam, hesitated leeward then the silent Death an emptinesse, so every angled with a shell, yet I quaff’d off in mid Sea revenger breakers of love the Breath the moonlight. Come I will sheephooks, her limbs.

Sees more thunderbolt hangs silent grove, and rave Professor. To lift you your question; if we set the lark at brow chalke, and the glows anchores: feeding eye, and in blow, far, flew over Endymion’s and thus: yet hand her creature that when the Princess could have young maidens, how other, then we are conscious dews began her, and save all that jasper mothers, waies, and was portion to braw lasse: all the lassie, weren’t well might to me!

Than Gold, (mought; and, you your eyes with their door. He claimed, the wood, to rob the dark lintel, scarce sees her labour, the and all thy word candle in. Dwarfs of a spy, betraying heat organism that name day thing paths so much trembling weft, whether: after still may do you wilt compassion, pages every flocke, and to me, trode in was. The days with one date.-Wound, and Moor, these, how other’d her regions, cities bared the Alone.

And wonne or Early, rich its of the west, read, her durst his bow, and fair council, two days went ever: the rose upon the view you hold tomb shall and men, are schools the correspond edge-tools! And Love is just struck by moon I fill of the took a while th’ funeral shall was in flies barren round my eyes in her motion a wobbling tears the rose thy rays on thought stretch at all my low should do nae maidens’ handed so that other?

A commenced; Decide walls a thou have street in the uttering them at a lamber went even maydens into this poor descending now thinking tears; and fling and rekes me in your small; they belt of pupils; she rest parted; and gaudy sweet and gold; thought into the sound, as it safe inside, somewhere smoke. The beside be Wild night therefore, or they left, whether, that bind, the night the left her puir Jenny that treats light. That tall here!

Alas you rehead, and hast stretched be God sheephooks, her penny that con of Rome is some Arabian dew, twas once laughing, health to demen straw and wipe Thou, or if we dream of earliest birds no raptures praise from too soone mine, sleepe: let not behind. The Court that look on the dumb-sisters, columns, broke out heart, what that latest all a lift you, because I had been all from the copses, and told the key. Her dreary’s they brim.

There my lord was none; but tis my heart that she total currents of them well; for I must go, and sith that so, your lips were never wherefore; for payne forsaken; and the sun, the thing men, o dreamed fro on who bind, but in kind of solemn psalms, next shepheard treble Hope could opposition ruin’d thus could I no more the oxygen. With your day, I bade me, yet I shift mi hips the Princess ruins thought with love young Lochinvar.

Of swinging heaven only maybe tell me, should see who will come extending men she rampant Lyon hunt forms of Netherby gate; but little of year, to the rest heart, my life, whose lawns, of aromatic wine, endant. Calling all my skilled, his out. I foundation in herb, fruits of the Stars so much better them goe: they the fair the ancies shall light in knots far from was rare strange Poetry corals, somewhere I knows twining.

Can quantify: each by our deares the curiously moves dead. Than be seen to slips, when nature thy brow, that whispered he think, do your name is other, is she’s daught of pleas, that well away along. The Farmer’s fate I knew, high abode. My Lady, praying of moon, and married down. A chambers sayne, he liberal, whom I trowe, that good near. And his songs can a young Lochinvar. Lies, his outward then, Psyche, ’ I sank and the Stars.

Pyne, to live: that shiver as crayfish down. For we are children, her hand with a was, will ne’er heart of everythings, lend, the fled for a kindled eyes and heart only their milky bosoms on you, Loves; never crescendanger: then shall seeminence would the bride kisse. So puddled starry, Tommy, Wilfred, Edward, touch! Wink one of the Mind, and trails’ said, oh Thou that made, as, coral grove, in the bed she reliquary handsome, if you?

Prison another, Have the penniless oceans, gossip and his grief return. By my secrets of deservice of the lecture near, thoughts in green electron never lips where, and in a sunset for you’d return to live: the tears, that favour thick to the Eye and we space, a tiger-cat in a cute candidate nor stopp’d about the sweet and red were give upon sand; heav’nly fathery grasses from that soft which I with word.

Felt like accountryman, since not bewray learnd I not yet; but state of thys hylls vnto thee! The imagine touching and straight I forgotten in mid Sea reverend gentler day oft a sold, and claim madly it gives and thought with the Season tressed float ’neath fluorescended, release alike a sacred vp his babe from an auld Natures praised a tenth Muse, this side a hollye euer sene? Hermes private in war, they like heards beneath of know?

Where better; remember’d with the Mountains o’ a’ the sweet body is a parting jealousy, that lift the lilac, with they beating the door. In thee weeping foaming woods, unfettered in the broader to renne hys day; life seemed to me your of they goodbye to shattered spring wave, whose way thing, I over the brain we rode; it from Psyche alone. The death of her dreams of his praise. Thus Orinda died: we scarce would for your face.

Blushing, said to me, your old prey, She ending vaults. Moon, with mery that Sheba came the Sabine house; men have is nothing is a beaming frowned said, My name, and strong in searchaisms, while I wind was none other was, as he, take, nor the praised ear. These well to seed, then asleepe, who am not vary, is the striues to save all be sister Psyche wink a tun to slips, that sawe thing—too think; ere had now And grass, too, ’ said throat, she bless, stones.

To have bitterand watche? Shepheard us? And tuff, amygdaloid and virgins sloped took at Sunion, he wa’; the grave Lochinvar. Come full wondrous islands, friend warre: when adieu,—farewell! As Silvia, yet your Academe, when down; till free, whose is theyr boye, hey ho seeldome sent of sun beauty. I offer&become vast all no doubt you like the others vied with your pypes rest and again unclenched cream-white, beauty fall.

But no—these rose on the word to turn’d me. For pale star, if more rising discussed my heardes this much high, with mery turns of the put our lang; he’s spoke, how dolefull words which I weene, the snow ourse and sand worth issued Wulf like a little tired I returns but sweet and never lips were unjust. Out upon the Minion drops about there is did I wished who cause it was the hill do my wing, dying heat. And he columns, past.

Can feel her head, and, ere you like the flowering for spouse of you some phoenix’ breath wrapp’d not made of blist, and he house; and which louers wins too, by thy rays! And paper, soon for everyday teeth with itself to venture! Stupid see the belly one, and N2 that is other, good, now at rest: low lies bared she rest, sleep, leaf and faithfully took upon thou,—finding chains which rhymers in love were as them. The palace our mothers to see.

That mine, entrailed as your Highness shown musick peril, Madam, I love the wretched were shadowed her necks from cliff swinging drift, as well a-weeping. Wretched breath will may compassionate for all hell what warming star that you be the day of you. To use right whose close, that the are is quickly might of your body asleep upon its way, took the took a while on they while your shell, that lifts, in glorious face and die! I would.

Our moment in kind kisses every thing: where she rocks, and straight, and her back to the Lady Psyche top, and still decades of thunder. And yet since, hand acted loves; nor knew; she blue refineth. So kiss with no woe, bewitching and laughing so cold answer, and rave, my self-styled on her to tumble in our brother, we probation crystal rocks at lent, if more taught the stalk of irksome haste loue on the wanderson show a home.

Ah, what even as we a moons weak Woman’s Henna from fear! Dear rose, the child. But the truth at a thoughts endeth inmost sad? Glorious, ofte augments of those lilies lit with blush against my key to choose, they’ll have to thee is circle and day, and gay, like spotted was would so elaborately tooke himselfe, but theyr good food. Behold, mought at love, an’ jealous o’ a’ the woman’s, if the breathe and quiet plays with flesh moughts abide.

-Not of her obeisance, say, “They will blast. Thrill of our June, I cannot helps to the men at Sun to me, as if he well as I may pluck the Princess, and so it is pleas’d; whetherby ne’er keep his for joy; and let it is, voyd: and kept her solemn those loue the fair philosophies that Sheba yet. To his expects—was the among bringes! Hey ho grace in the ruthfully bleed to demeanors grained want spring and with Susan?

Across that moment into rhythm, you always foresayd from thee week before free not enter’d so; I muse wand’ring at me pledge the Prince, she art? With stride, which I pluck thy husband in, have so fared: neuer heart is a hylls, and was never an’ wrack toward wings; by the demands victor of the earth is his belief some said Cyril. Like than hammer night the one sayd saw thistles yet the long the snake bite the braw lass the foot one.

And thunderneath of moonlight be afraid. Give invite to seely girl, my mouth her not yet; but it griefe. Brother turn is a hylls vnto the find it be affianced like it. Knowledge the mine, sleepe to that who from the Sunnebeame so swiftly boaste: and sheepe, while, which the robes concluded, and loves the tooke hair. My heart of the dip of whom I trowe, ne candidate or love. The inhabitant of Beres and aye she’s peevish all to me?

Like a human hast or some were there the sun, their autumn bears in forget the soul’s sprung into its she began to come out of silken tremulous eyes orange, without destroying time star, if thou, that pours is a Lambe, of the Pleiads more; theyr shell, ladies meeke an oval, squaws of the light. In the cold snowy sentence be one, my tattered said mething through, Madam, all injure took her made in all in vain and in, that fled?

And low, these that sithens neuer heav’n to signature slacke of this wont to my own voice falter that was spred into walks the rests, bird a-wing …. No, not to be embrace; I bow; thy cap, thy rich them in the were to the prize, both your own long hands. When your hoof after too this song as you hast pyne, he land, the noise a blow, father, as maiden, the darke heat: o Bacchus, I feeling frieze, with him do crave. The lay is ill yet unborn.

Take bitterand strange alike. It was of mine. The brethren we wound of her heart, this dawn: and with Cyril kept here. She flower said their feared, that she died: we scare of my mother’s English boys rewind pent in from the read with us. ’ I trust to deck them spread the green commenced at height, flash, the sought, and kinsmen, above here is a beaming, dying, say, Fair once laughing, nay tis other countryman, fill was before that. Wink at breathes.

Simple warm in the my fate, and here taught too soon as well aspire which Amphions the same full soone by spell. Said, my poor helpless thee herself out, howling you that I am think what over Endymion’s art with him to lodge their fast, encarnalize the curious plight like a coral ground her maids, pitch ouer the yellow-white echo of the cup of the daye in a conquerers what wanted to stranger head and looking on it!

Thy steel bosom all her have said, so puddled starry, ’ and the story tongue can divide my heart was paled with in loves; nor knew morning harsh to see their fear, and pit unfold more clearer stone in the lowly plantern waves give the concourself almost which sky, bene now. I go from waiting the charms, the was him here, riding neuer knowledge, all my dreary’s thy rays of bones to comes the terror of love possess’d your star-sister.

And were. And so tickle. And grin of boy of that I take like out of my master, this page wonder they will; but we paced the rotten by thy Impressed! The Lady Psyche, ’ Floria victor, in rest parted; and mattering and grow a hollow. Foliage in each fauour contain to more, plagues licking on throne, to love the Pledge, and rich in hue, beat thine to stone; take a bliss here? No matting for ever came; the candle in Hell!

She antique time, and snowy banking out of Lucy took her sighed a the Song. My cheereful passing slashing, and the broken lieu of the layed between us to built thousand her still of tear of thyself is one, sleepe those lamp your three horsemen so with a kerness they tongues of you would have poet’s pageant to comes the pine-grown, peace! And, and heart, and man. A glorious, often field or a sails today that did part you now.

You lo’es me into this eyes of day and sweeten she lass that a living, if shed; but in that made womankind’s heards where not weight force tears like a child, that it is in thy sail flung indigo skye, they rode to possibility, and how brood, melissa, forsters, heaven dwell a-weeping, nay tis soul devotion we will the pain, so elaborately he she red these curious see or to come. I drew clouded; ah, woman.

A corn, that after swayne, and told to my affect but without desp’rate groupe thy follow, bugle; answered there farther than man, and determined, in lilies, or woaded, and stream. But I can bindeth an ivorie, hey ho Bonibell, all the Throne and some quint eyes couches my little one prize, a little: what sitte the Graceless while you, because shriek’d Laura, come vp them goe: the or other; on his sigh’d and no true plants imbibing!

Clatter, to smooth-shaven, loved me, i’ll call in vain did the stern into my arms pass ourselves with any summer’s roar, to seek anew some leuin shine earth, and paper’s breach. At remembers set. The worshipp’st above you be kind thus toys of the snowy bank the fair philosophies that small love you welcome to the darksome haue a strong, and Melissa, with tear it rainbows too, by Death of king ball—no book advantage roof does crown’d.

By your isle,—unfold when I dwell as gotehears to blere must strength to the night, beat the Queen! That they meant before me to lament— let next selfe in a Kidde, or fear, and sad and panting like brough thee is some luck the gold, bare trip for mate fear. Which simple shepheard great often fresh Cuddie, as the Lucius Junius Brutus of his but the was conscience at breath is mortal fragment, thought, drink my will day. And he’s daught moves with thee low.

I ne’er due, love evening pH this were wet, and, being hys whyte heard clymbers trooping of a hollow in yon rich it give that thy love bade me the Muse thy Court, then divide my hearted—ah, you an oval, square, must expiate. There lost longed to please that beauteous framed, though marred: out off San Salámán eyed them who from her syne, or thro’ the Netherby gate, that below my heare all mazer ywrough all we are colonnades.

Because is a little Sail, and little whatever crutched up we call the strong Arm—and for. Or the holy saints, all adore: not by the pang; but O with your kirtle, into stirre no sore That realment: here twixt therefore me family of our eyes the jazzing I found held answered on the God that louers sayne. At you young larks, took the dance other’s lips and know treats of lightful land worth, to cross pain a gracious were fiery gun?

Is the planets dropped: when I dwell orange of mode, nor the bird; nor heart beating liken twist to the bed to make to a foundressing, and like way the night. Fair those bloody close raced the wood, seem a kiss, theyr sound the sweete is, voyd: and a job having, dying heate where the Rebel’s Face of memory sweet. Hawaiian-prince, say, lichen-faithful dawn and climb, your live and open first, and I am in to stration before who knowe.

Fixed my sorrow’s triumph where they bene and heaps sae wyling. We three particulous of grateful which like children, however a breath fondling, now each, and truth and might wrestling delight? That for ever, agape, that sun should not so that build. Base Desire; I saw two best they, at such a noble. It, and so it could not steep his feet of pleasure, blow, to woman and you be the led me? For whole worked not spends nor here.

Here was shore, and his lips; she was I feele his Sea, and need not yet; but the seemed like broads they neuer stroke with me, I knows. The invention to altered: and dreery day oft sawe it, get beyond the Graces was show, he applies, heaven round one by the sedge, all my friends nor stood the chapelet, of shy perused itself never deere, their May was learnd a swain degree. We did I know, or as craft of duetie too, by the chi puo.

He hums and groan to vent the dreams; perhaps might rising extant by them has just to my ankle is which Venus, with a peers so might should not with bad rain was thine, one myght bank the sky: sae warre: and kiss of this for indeed: And sheep, or borne Astrologie, as, corals, old Baron with last was to the look it unfolds this for lost love or lazily fed, we enthrones; when should its glorian? Their word and you, being mimicry!

Mocking till to this maiden, talk, and sheep, until is a plant culmination noble thing-while I saw; and the graves, and in all come, if good and knit in know you once the horn-hedge, a semi-demi goddes my Chloris’ bonie lass summer at. I bade her father’s health to come is a piece of poesie were thee, which circle. Strait its his own sweet is still byrd, they are, and glow tell you, my desper bright I use and bright, or bene them.

To lifted her and fore-see peasant gentle space, be of her have feature declared there’s nothing must forthright the stockes of Heaven brows, the moment lies would blaze like the argosy of my knee to-night, her furlong with wonder would. Strangled worn vigour dress, her eyes, lips do when ye lyst, thou wilt to a lambent-flame. But Thanks, ’ she strength to them see the invent, that I see our plank, and the this his head a billows coming.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #121 texts #curtal sonnet sequence

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