#Did you know there are graphs of the cheese economy. I just wanted to look up whether it was as expensive in america as it is here

[ranvwoop]

I've been getting really into toast with jam lately

[theyrealllegends]

How to piss off your neighbours (Roger Taylor x Reader Smut)

I can’t really tell you what happened of why but I still had this laying around and I thought today, I’d finish and then share it with you. Roger and Reader are childhood friends but one day, horniness gets the best of them. This is pretty filthy, I guess, so 18+ ONLY, please! 

Enjoy!

“Want another one?”, Roger asked, holding up his empty beer bottle while he slowly moved away from you to get up. 

“Yeah”, you just answered absentmindedly and you almost didn’t notice his glare but when you did it made you snort. “C’mon, Rog, just get me that beer.” He still didn’t move his feet, only crossing his arms over his chest. “Please, Roggie?” He took it with a nod and went over to the kitchen counter and the fridge as if he’d never made a big deal out of it. You were back into listening to Deaky’s story about how he met Veronica, his ridiculously pretty girlfriend. Roger came back some moments later placing the bottle in your lap before sitting down next to you again, his arm going on the couch’s top behind your shoulders again and you leant back into him slightly. 

“How long have they been dating?”, you heard Freddie’s new girlfriend, May or something, ask and it made you snort. 

“Why does everyone ask that?”, you got their attention. “You did too, Fred, didn’t you? And Deaks as well!”

“Should tell you something, love”, Freddie said with a grin. “You can’t deny that blondie’s a handsome one.”

“I’d never, but I like to think that I’m the one that made him look that good.” Roger snorted and you turned a little to slap him. “You do remember what that hair looked like before I took you to my hairdresser, don’t you?”

“That was third grade, y/N”, he tried to argue himself out of it with a grin. “I guess I burnt down every photo before that.”

“Everyone you could find”, you teased and chuckled when his eyes went wide for a second. 

“You’re joking.”

“Am I?”

“I hope you are! Wouldn’t wanna go back to that story of Ray Miner’s girlfriend. Oh, or the one with the stolen baby-sheep?”

“Fine, we’re even. Just shut up”, you just nodded, crossing your arms over your boobs. In your earlier years you’d lent towards girls much more than these days, after you’d realised how much pleasure and power it gave you to ride a guy - but back in the days you’d gotten into various arguments with that idiot about his kindergarten “girlfriend” and when you’d started to throw hands one time, that little bitch whose face you couldn’t recall anymore had started crying like she hadn’t given you puppy eyes all the time before! It was one of your dumber early moments, especially since you couldn’t blame it on alcohol like the story of the stolen baby-sheep. 

“Are we still going out?”, Freddie asked some minutes later and you shrugged.

“Where to?”

“Club or Pub?”, Roger asked as well. 

“I’d like to dance”, Mary told Freddie who smiled and leant in to kiss her neck quickly. 

“I’d have to get changed for a club”, you rambled, pointing at your legs. You wore knee-high socks and black jean shorts which you considered fine but you’d just thrown on a grey Led Zeppelin shirt before Roger’s band mates had come over so Mary could meet the whole gang. You weren’t even wearing a bra and you weren’t sure if you wanted to put one on just for the drunks in the club you usually went to with the boys. 

“Just put on a blouse and you’re good."

“You know I don’t really do blouses”, you told Roger after rolling your eyes at him. 

“Yeah, but I do and you never hold back on my stuff”, he argued and you raised an eyebrow. 

“I’ll consider your offer”, you explained and he grinned. 

“We could do better things if we stayed in.”

“What you got in mind, Roggie?”

“I don’t know, just telling you I may or may not have gone to meet that Antonio guy.”

“I told you you shouldn’t tell me if you do!”, you replied and caught Mary’s glance, knowing that you’d lost her somewhere in the conversation that wasn’t entirely made for her ears either. 

“I’d share it with you”, Roger just shrugged it off. 

“At what expense?” His eyes were sparkling when his lips curled into a grin and you rolled your eyes again. “I’m way too sober to give you a lap dance. Again”, you added after a heartbeat and shuddered at the blurry memory. You were glad you didn’t even remember what you’d done it for and that the only thing you were certain about was that it had taken Roger quite some time to persuade you to do it in the first place. He’d been your friend since the beginning of kindergarten when his family had moved in next to yours and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. He was the only one that seemed to get you, when you were bursting out in unexplainable anger, when you were struggling with your feelings and your sexuality around the same time you got your first period - which he’d been very serious with, already being the biologist he liked to believe he was becoming these days. You’d been there for each other when you got too drunk the first time, smoking cigarettes and later pot together, the first shag, the first heart break - everything really. And you weren’t blind you knew that Roger had grown into a handsome man but you didn’t really want to go into that deeper, scared that anything sexual happening between the two of you - apart from the occasional drunk cuddles and a few tight dances you barely recalled - would ruin something. 

“It’d be on me this time. If you were kind enough to grill the cheese later on.”

“I would, actually but only because I can still smell how horribly you burnt it last time.”

“Good, then that’s plan B if the lads decide to be bores.”

About a month and a half later you thought back to that night and how you’d ended up going to the club, dancing the night away. It had been way past 6 in the morning when you’d returned home, the sky already light blue, birds singing in the still chill summer day. Roger had gone home with two cute blondes, one of them had caught your interest as well but you could tell by now when to step back for Roger to give a girl what she was really looking for. And it wasn’t that you weren’t alright with that, you were just not too pleased to acknowledge that your fingers weren’t precisely able to get to that one spot deep on your inside that made you cum like not much else. Roger had come home to your shared flat in the later afternoon with take out burgers and fries and he’d saved your whole hungover day with it. 

You wished it would be as easy to safe your day right now as well but with all the books and papers and notes and the days marked red in your calendar to remind you of your exam dates you knew it wouldn’t be. A miracle would have to happen actually because you could do a lot of things but the maths for your annoying economy class wasn’t one of them. You sighed when you looked at your calculator that was showing you a wrong result again and decided that three hours of unsuccessful studying were better than nothing and that you deserved to reward yourself with a cup of tea. You actually found Roger in the kitchen, his head on one of his books, his fingers scratching his scalp and it made you snort because you could relate so bad. 

“I really feel you, buddy”, you said and he sat up with a groan. 

“Fuck, y/N, you have no idea how bad it’s this time.”

“Why?”

“Well, last time it was the human reproduction system and I somehow powered through that because it was at least kind of entertaining.”

“There were graphs of vaginas, admit it.”

“Kinda, yeah. But this is a whole other level, I couldn’t even tell you the exact topic if I tried.”

“That’s a pity”, you judged honestly. “Tea?”

“I’d need at least half a bottle of scotch to keep going”, he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll have one”, he added when he found you still looking at him, holding a tea bag up in question. “Thanks.”

“Sure, sweety. My economy calculations seem much easier now, thanks.”

“Anytime, love. Should we get dinner tonight?”

“We always have dinner, Roggie, you can’t cook.”

“I mean, should we order something to keep us motivated right now.”

“I could use some good greek food”, you admitted, your mouth already watering. 

“Sounds good to me”, Roger agreed with a smile. “Wanna join me here?”

“I know how your moaning sounds and I’m not quite up for that right now”, you told him bluntly and he snorted. 

“I don’t know how you think you know that. Also, I’m lovely when I moan.”

“Of course you are”, you shook your head sarcastically. “See you at seven?”

“Yeah, you’re a mood killer.”

“You love me”, you just told him before you left the kitchen, shaking your head at yourself wildly. How desperate could you be that suddenly Roger’s bad jokes turned you on? Like - you bloody knew them all! And still, this time his words had gone straight to your core, making your body ache for a relieve and you let your head fall back between your shoulders when you went back to your desk instead. At least you hadn’t forgotten your tea and you’d make Roger pay your dinner. 

A dinner that you well deserved actually because after what felt like eternities, your results started to be close to the actual solutions until at around 6:30 you got a correct answer, leaving you with a smile. 

“I want to celebrate my first correct calculation”, you explained Roger when you stretched up to the kitchen cabinet that was dedicated to alcohol. 

“So you’ll forget how you got it right?”, Roger asked with a grin, helping you to reach a leftover bottle of white wine. Someone else must’ve brought and forgotten about it because Roger and you usually went with something more high proof. 

“Just as a little distraction”, you mumbled, pouring two glasses while Roger got plates for the delivered food. It smelt delicious and you gave him a genuine smile when you sat next to him on your rectangular, dark-wood kitchen table.

“How’s your nameless topic going?”

“Better, I suppose. It has something to do with the digestion system, I guess.”

“Good start that you can name that now, I suppose”, you told him while you tried the food that was just as good as it looked and smelled. “Thanks for the food, by the way.”

“Sure, hon”, he said and the two of you turned silent while you ate. “Damn”, Roger mumbled just moments after he was done with his plate. 

“What?”

“This was great and all but we must smell horrible after all that garlic or whatever they put in there.” You snorted, not really seeing the problem. 

“I think it was worth it. Also, we both ate it so we won’t gross each other out.”

“As much as I like that, I was considering to go out later.”

“So you really want to forget you’re dealing with digestion and everything?”, you couldn’t help but ask with a raised eyebrow before you took another sip of your almost-empty glass. 

“‘M just bored, if I’m honest. And I mean, I can very well do the job alone but I’d prefer some help.”

“I just ate, Rog, didn’t need to make me want to vomit.”

“Oh, come on, y/N, I think you’re aware that it’s been quite some weeks for me to get laid and an even longer time for you, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Didn’t precisely need that reminder, Roger”, you told him, trying not to sound as pissed about his correct observation as you were. He fell silent when you got up to put the plates in the sink and the takeout boxes in the trash. 

“You know”, he got your attention again when you were about to leave the kitchen but stopping in the doorframe to look back at him, a shit eating grin on his lips. “You could always let me know if you needed help. Wouldn’t want my little girl to be too aroused to focus.”

“In your dreams, Taylor”, you replied with a snort and Roger just shrugged, still grinning. You returned to your room, feeling goosebumps on your skin and your thighs were pulsing heatedly. You caught yourself chewing on your lips before you sighed and returned to your desk to go over your notes again, any kind of distraction welcome. However, that really didn’t do the job and you ended up in your bed, trying desperately to relieve your desire. Of course, that didn’t make it less annoying when you didn’t succeed again, your fingers being unable to find the sweet spot on your inside. 

“Oh, are you alright?”, Roger asked you, when you joined him in the kitchen the next morning. 

“Didn’t sleep well”, you mumbled, reaching for a cup to get a tea as well. 

“You don’t look that good”, he said and his concerned tune made you look up instead of coming back at him. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You started making some breakfast and Roger gave you a thankful smile when you sat a plate of eggs in front of him some minutes later. 

“Nice shirt by the way”, he told you when you went back to the counter to get some food on your own plate. 

“Thanks.”

“Y/N”, he said and you looked up at him in question. “That’s mine and I’ve been looking for it.”

“And what about it? You didn’t ask me, did you?”

“Because you never took my clothes!”

“Fuck’s sake, Rog, I have no idea where I found it, do you want it back right now?”

“I s’pose you’re not wearing pants and as eager I am to see if I’m right I’ll leave you with my shirt for today.”

“Too kind”, you bitched at him again before you took your plate and just left because you didn’t want to fuck him up further. It really wasn’t his fault that you were unpleased and extremely tired, a migraine already tickling the back of your head. Roger just happened to be the only outlet there was but you didn’t want to drive him insane. 

“I’m sorry”, you told him later, sitting on the table in front of him him to get his attention. He looked up from his book and rubbed his eyes as if he wasn’t sure you were really there but then his fingers went to your still naked knee softly. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I would if I knew what was wrong”, you mumbled, tugging the hem of his shirt down a little, suddenly very conscious that you still hadn’t put on pants and that he might’ve been able to see more than you would’ve liked Roger to see. He chuckled when he watched you and you rolled your eyes at him. “My room’s getting all the sun in the mornings, I was too hot”, you explained yourself. 

“No doubt you are”, Roger mumbled, his free hand shovelling through his hair. You leaned forward to brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes and Roger smiled when your fingers found their way around his jaw. His eyes were sparkling and you had to swallow hard not to jump on him that very second. Memories of your life with him kept creeping into your thoughts and held you back, scared you would ruin something when you gave in to some random desire you knew he could cure. “You considered my offer?”, Roger broke the silence, his fingers still on you knee began to stroke your skin delicately, moving upwards just a few millimetres. It was almost enough to make you jump and you had to swallow before you trusted your voice again. 

“What d’you mean?”

“I can basically smell how bad you’re aching to orgasm.” His voice was low and you were willing yourself hard to interrupt him but your brain failed to form coherent thoughts when his fingers moved up a bit further. “And I don’t only happen to be here, I also wanted to do this for quite some time”, he admitted softly. 

“How long?”

“I don’t know, since I was sixteen maybe?” He was actually blushing and you giggled. 

“Roger Taylor, are you blushing?”

“God, y/N, go easy on me this one time, can you do that? We were talking about some shit and you were wearing this red dress you hated but you’d worn it because it was someones birthday and you only sneaked off with me because it was so boring - and god, I don’t think I’ve ever seen something more beautiful.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were running away from my aunt or your uncle or someone and you were a bit out of breath, your face a bit blushed and your hair had come out of your bun. And I realised right there that you were probably the most beautiful girl in the world and I wasn’t proven wrong ever since.”

“Don’t go romantic on me, Taylor”, you tried to joke your way out of it but Roger didn’t fall for it. 

“If you don’t feel the same then that’s fine but you’d have to tell me now before I further make a fool out of myself”, he whispered and his eyes revealed how desperate he was for you not to turn him down. 

“Rog, are you sure this is right? You’re so important to me, I wouldn’t wanna ruin what we have”, you whispered and he smiled softly. 

“Don’t you think we should try at least? And if we see it’s not what we want we can still go back to what we have now.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy”, you replied, shivering when his hand found your hip and he pulled you down into his lap softly. His smell surrounded you when you leant into his chest for a moment and you closed your eyes because it was the smell of home, the most familiar thing in this world for you and it calmed you. “I’ve seen you with girls, Rog. I know that you cheated and lied and got high to forget about all of them”, you told him and his face dropped a little. 

“Because they weren’t you. I never lied to you and I know I could never because you deserve something so much better. But I’m selfish and I can’t stop wishing to be with you.” 

“You’re quite the charmer, Taylor”, you teased him and Roger sighed deeply. 

“I’m sorry I started this. I just genuinely wanted to help you.”

“Why don’t you do that, then? We can still see about the rest.” His eyes went wide and his breath hitched up before he cleared his throat visibly and then smiled, nodding his head yes. You laughed at his eagerness but his lips silenced yours when they found them. You were only taken aback a second before you let the kiss happen and felt Roger’s lips softly dug around your bottom lip. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your fingers in his hair when he deepened the kiss softly and you opened your mouth for him. It felt a little weird and familiar at the same time because you’d run your hands through Roger’s hair countless times before and he’d touched your hips before but it had never been that intense and he made you moan when he pulled you closer and your core got some friction on his dark-blue sweatpants. He moaned when your body was close to his and your hips were on top of the bulge forming under the soft fabric of his pants. You kept moving your hips into his and Roger’s eyes rolled back into his head while you moaned, both enjoying the small friction. Roger’s fingers dug deeper into your skin and you felt his body tense, veins growing more visible on his arms and neck and you couldn’t help but follow them with the tips of your fingers, causing goosebumps on his arms. You could see him clear his throat again and his eyes never left yours while he spoke. 

“You wanna stay here or go to my room?” 

“I’d have ink from your book on my ass afterwards, I guess”, you told him with a smile and Roger grinned, getting up easily while you wrapped your arms and legs around his body to keep yourself stable. He was on top of you in no time and you sighed when you got comfortable on his bed, his smell even more intense in his sheets. “I like it here”, you whispered and he smiled, moving his lips to your neck and his fingers under his shirt you were still wearing. 

“Like having you here, too”, he mumbled and your grip on his hair tightened when he pushed the fabric of the shirt up to kiss your tummy. It wasn’t exactly where you wanted his lips. “Do you mind -?”

“No, it’s not that, Rog”, you tried to reassure him and he rose an eyebrow in question. “Need your lips somewhere else”, you mumbled blushing and he chuckled. 

“I’ll take care of you, just be a little patient”, he said, voice muffled by your skin and you felt goosebumps grow on your tummy. He really tested your patience, though, because he took his time to explore your skin with his mouth until you were so riled up, you were basically shoving his face between your legs. Roger chuckled softly while he touched you through the fabric of your panties and you still moaned. 

“Need you, Rog”, you told him shivering and he pulled down your underwear as if saying it was all you had to do. “Stop teasing!”, you whimpered when you felt his lips on your upper leg but too far from your heat. He continued kissing up your thigh but his fingers already found your wet entrance and you both moaned. 

“Shit, y/N, you’re so-“, Roger was cut off by his own moan and you could tell he was trying to get some friction on his cock when he crawled closer to you. His eyes were on you body while yours fell close when he slowly pushed two fingers inside of you. “Want another one?”

“Yes”, you moaned, your back already arching of the back. Your nails dug in his pillow and you threw your head back when his mouth finally found your pussy and he licked it in slow strokes. You grabbed his hair harshly and wrapped a leg around Roger’s shoulder who moaned and started pumping his fingers into you, exactly were you needed them. 

“God, right there”, you praised, moaning and shifting under him. Roger laughed into your core, the vibration causing you goosebumps before the tip of his tongue started teasing your clit and you could’ve lost it then and there. His hand that wasn’t buried deep inside of you went up to tease your nipple and your grip on his hair tightened, causing Roger to moan. You were sweating, your breath deep and needy and you could feel your orgasm creep up deep in your body. 

“Roggie, I’m gonna -“ But he cut you off when he suddenly let go off you and you let out a little scream of dissatisfaction. 

“‘m sorry, love”, Roger mumbled hoarsely while he wiped your wetness off his chin. “But I don’t want to make you come just like that. Can I fuck you, please?” You grabbed his sweatpants in response and pulled them down as far as you could before Roger had to lie next to you so you could strip him off his boxers too. His cock was huge and red and you smiled when you touched its tip to rub it softly, the precum wetting it in preparation. Roger moaned and positioned himself so that you could still get friction on his leg if you wanted to. But you concentrated on him when you bent down to lick long strokes over his length and Roger gripped your head moaning. You softly ran your tongue of his shaft before you took his whole length in your mouth and he whined. “Fuck, y/N fuck! Fuck, love, no one ever took me so well”, he moaned and his voice got higher with every word he said. 

“You’re huge, I’m not surprised”, you told him after his cock sprung from your lips, wet and ready. 

“And you didn’t even gag”, he whispered before he sat up to grab a condom. 

“It’s what you deserved”, you replied before laying down next to him and he knelt between your legs to put on the condom. Roger looked at you for one last confirmation and smiled when his eyes met yours, your sweaty hair sticking to your forehead, one of yours hands teasing your nipple, the other one reaching for him in need. “You’re so beautiful, y/N”, he praised you before he pulled one of your legs on his shoulder and entered you in one swift motion, almost making you see stars already. Roger moaned and started to push in and out of you with a slow rhythm while he softly toyed with your clit. 

“Go faster, please, Rog”, you said with your head thrown back, your fingers reaching for his legs in the weak attempt to hold onto something. 

“Your wish is my command, princess”, he whispered and when his next thrust hit your g-spot your eyes rolled back. 

“God, Rog, fuck”, you mumbled, your back aching with every new thrust and you completely lost track of space and time when he made you moan and swear with every breath you shakily took. “You’re perfect!”, you screamed because you’d never been hit so right. 

“Y/N”, Roger just repeatedly moaned, his voice getting deeper the closer he got to his climax. “‘m so close.”

“Me too”, you replied, tears pricking in your eyes. “Make me cum, Roggie, please.” He sucked in a sharp breath before he went even fast, his bedframe starting to hit the wall behind it and that was when you lost it and came, seeing only white and screaming his name. 

Roger’s lips and fingertips were soft on your skin and you turned to him dizzily when you finally came down from what must’ve been the best high in your life. 

“You alright?”, he asked you in a soft whisper and you nodded tiredly. 

“Can I stay?”

“Always, babe. Even though I think we’ll have to move.”

“Why?”

“Our neighbours are going to kill us if that’s going to happen more often.”

“I want them to be pissed everyday”, you whispered and Roger kissed you chuckling.