#DiaryOfAnAngryBlackGayMan

[diary-of-an-angry-black-gay-man]

EVOL

I am human, I cry and I bleed. I feel love and I feel hate. I have cast aside these feelings for you. For once I felt jealousy and contempt toward your actions. Now I only want to make you happy. I have become your dog. I am begging and longing for your attention. Striving to make you proud. All for a glimmer of hope that you will see me as your idealistic lover. Have I not given up all that I own for you? Have I not shouted your name from the mountain tops? What more can I give? If I were a woman I would even offer up my womb to you. Why cant you see? Why do you look through me as if I am made of glass? Why cant you feel my love that burns for you? But then, I finally understand. I have created this fortress around you. I have lifted you up but in doing so I have lifted you out of my reach. I have lifted you up so that you now look down upon me with disgust. As if I am not worth the ground that you walk on. What have i done? Why did I grant you such power over me? Why did I let you slither your way into my very soul? I cant breathe and I cant feel. My fingers go numb from the labor they have put into our love. The world around me goes dark as you strike me down from the heavens of which I placed you. Was I a fool for thinking that this would end any other way? Your face is burned into my eyes, burned into my memory. As the light fades from my eyes, I laugh. You see this is not the first time, love has struck me down. The bitter taste of regret is all that lingers on my lips as I sink into the dust. No longer human, no longer in love.

[diary-of-an-angry-black-gay-man]

Love's Tragedy

We gave each other everything but love is fragile and easily broken. Lies and time have cause rifts between us. You used to be this guy I loved and adored. I used to be the boy you would die for. How could we let them destroy what we had? We were a masterpiece like the Mona Lisa. So normal yet so beautiful but it’s over now. I can’t stand the sight of you and when you touch me I cringe. We are at war with each other, losing more than we could ever hope to gain. Every second we spend in this hell makes my heart writhe in pain. Like a King with no kingdom, the battles won are meaningless. The arguments that fan the flames of our demise are fruitless. I can feel that you want to go back to who we used to be. But that ship has sank into the sea of our lies. Leaving us with nothing but empty promises and dry eyes. We have become as tragic as Shakespeare, dying young without reason.

[diary-of-an-angry-black-gay-man]

My emotions cannot and will not be contained. I will let them reign free! You will be my next emotional victim!

[diary-of-an-angry-black-gay-man]

Diary of an ANGRY GAY BLACK MAN

Once again I am accused of being a angry black man when I was clearly provoked. You cant patronize me and belittle me, then wonder why I get upset. But you know what? Their right...I AM AN ANGRY BLACK MAN. I am angry because I am sick of playing the nice guy to save your feelings. I am sick playing nice because you might feel uncomfortable about my opinions or rights as a human being. I am not going to calm down because you cant handle the wrath of this BLACK MAN. I am over smiling at you in elevator so that you dont think that I will cause you harm. I WILL CAUSE YOU HARM. I want to scream and shout. I want to be mad. I have a right to be mad and upset. I have emotions and as much as you try to tell me to not be an angry black man....it makes me want to be an even angrier black man. Dont tell me that I am being too emotional. Black men have spent the better half of a century holding our emotions back. We have bit our tongues for too long and I refuse to be do it again. So get ready because this man will not hold back...I will be angry and I will yell because my emotions are valid and they must be heard!