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cissyenthusiast010155 · 1 year ago

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What Have I Done… ~Broken!Casey Novak xFem Wife!Reader

Summary— Occurs at the end of season 9/beginning of season 10. When Casey gets in trouble with Liz for committing a Brady violation, she goes home after a long day to Reader. Reader comforts Casey.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: angst, fluff, crying, implied exhaustion, light alcohol consumption, unhappy endings, etc.

Enjoy (;

Liz had given you a call earlier today and given you a heads up of what had gone down today.

You were anxious, biting your lip and nails, and fidgeting like crazy as you waited for Casey to come home. Finally, the door to your shared apartment opened. It creaked open, Casey entered the hallway, and then it creaked shut.

You were in the kitchen, already lightly nursing a glass of wine, standing behind the kitchen island, resting on the island for stability.

Hell, after what Liz has told you, you were sure you would both need the alcohol tonight…

Casey finally came into the kitchen, blazer and shoes still on and case in hand. He stopped at the entrance of the kitchen, froze right on spot.

“Hey Baby…” you gently spoke, as you came around the island, placing the glass down, and coming up to the redhead.

You placed your hands on her side and cheek, while Casey stood frozen still.

“H-hi…” she breathed out.

You looked into her eyes, they were filled with pain and agony. It broke your heart. You pulled your forehead against hers. Casey sighed a little in relief at your direct touch

“Case…” you whispered, “Liz called”

At your words, Casey pulled her head up and stepped back lightly. Suddenly, her briefcase slipped from her fingers and the contents scattered on the ground.

Her eyes began to a swell and her lips began to tremble.

“W-what…?” Casey choked out.

Your heart was being ripped to shreds now. You hated seeing the love of your life in this much pain.

“I talked to Liz. She told me… what happened, about you and the bar…” you softly spoke.

You saw the lump in her throat as Casey swallowed, and as she tried to suppress her tears.

“I’m— I’m a failure” Casey choked out, before she began uncontrollably sobbing.

You were quick to pull her into your embrace, cradling her form with all the love you could muster. Casey immediately melted into your touch, wrapping her hands around you. She instinctively buried her face in the crook of your neck.

“No no no, baby… you’re not a failure.” You whispered, comforting the woman.

“Y-yes I am…!” Casey croaked, in between sobs.

Tears were streaming down the redheads face and onto your shoulder and neck. But you didn’t mind.

“No Case…” you sighed, “You made a mistake… everyone does… and the committee will see that.” You whispered.

You got more uncontrollable sobs in response. You rubbed and caressed Casey in every place you could reach, and you could feel Casey starting to slowly calm, as you let her get it out.

“That’s it. good girl. Get it all out…” you comforted her gently, “How about a bath, hmmm baby…?”

Casey sniffled and nodded slowly into your shoulder. You smiled lightly and nodded, slowly and gently leading Case to your shared bathroom.

You turned the water on.

Then you slowly got her undressed, as well as yourself. Casey wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but tears were still rolling off her cheeks and she was still sniffling. You lent her a hand to get into the half-filled tub, joining her promptly after.

Casey was quick to snuggle up to your naked frame, starting to cry again into your chest this time. You played with her hair lightly, gently reassuring her that it was going to be okay and that she was doing good.

Eventually, Casey’s sounds had faded and she started pawing at you.

“Hmmmm Case, what’s up…? Use your words for me, sweet girl…” you coaxed the redhead.

Casey blushed a little.

“Mm hungry…” she murmured.

“Makes sense. Good thing I made lasagna.” You hummed and nodded.

At this, Casey perked up. For a moment, her eyes weren’t dismal, they were hope-filled. But they soon returned to their saddened state.

You then helped Case out of the tub, and handed her a towel to dry off. You both got dressed in your pjs, before heading to the kitchen. You both sat down and you served the food.

Afterwards, you carried a now tired and cried out Casey to your shared bedroom. She immediately snuggled up as the little spoon in bed with you.

“Get some sleep, Case, that’s it… It’s all gonna be okay… we’ll fight this together… but not today. Tomorrow…” you softly spoke.

“Mhmmm… thank you, baby…” Casey murmured, “Don’t know how I got so lucky to be with you…”

“You? I’m the one who’s lucky… luckiest wife alive.” You chuckled.

And before you knew it, she was dozing off, with those little snores you always found so adorable…

~~~

Casey Novak Masterlist

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khvlani · 1 month ago

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loml- calex

summary: casey and alex used to go way back then. they are lovers torn apart by fate. now that their paths cross again, casey struggles to keep in her unsaid feelings. alex tries to make sense of casey's confession.

word count: 2.4k

"can you believe it? another woman is having the eyes of the man I fell in love with?"

alex turns to face her friend, emma, who dragged her to their college friend's baby shower. It was alex's day off, and of all the places she could be in right now, she was standing next to emma watching their old friend's baby bump be measured. "i mean, it doesn't seem fair, does it?" emma asks. alex gives her a soft smile, "life isn't fair, emma," she says as she sucks on the baby bottle where the party had placed their beer. "besides, that guy was mediocre. you saved yourself from having-" she pauses, looking around before leaning towards emma and whispering.

"-an ugly baby" she grins.

emma laughs as she hears alex whisper. "you are never not funny, alexandra," alex smiles at emma, feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket. I bet that's work again," emma comments. "probably" she sighs as she grabs her phone to check her notifications, a smile creeping up her face as she reads who it's from.

"sorry to bother your rest day. need a consult on a case asap. can you drop by the office today? that would be great"

"who is it?" she looks up at emma. "just novak, she needs a consult" she replies. emma looks at her slightly amazed at the thought of it.

"casey novak?"

"yeah. you know, red hair, green eyes, pale-" she chuckles. "veeery pale, feisty-"

emma cuts her off, "i know who your ex-girlfriend is, lex."

"oh, uh, yeah.. her" alex mutters. "you work with casey?" alex nods, taking a drink of her beer. "temporarily." emma raises a brow, not quite believing alex. "temporarily? look, i don't know what goes down in the DA's office but i damn know that's not how it works" alex sighs. "she was my replacement when the whole shooting thing happened, and now that I'm back... well, I- she- there was this- oh, forget it. it's too complicated to discuss. i still haven't comprehended the whole thing but, point is we work together and i have to go." alex forces a smile, trying to convince emma. "i hope you don't do anything stupid, or yet, I hope you don't DO stupid" alex looks at her confused. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"I hope you don't do anything stupid with your "still existing" feelings for her, and that you don't do HER" emma states, making alex chuckle and shake her head. "I'm serious, alexandra." alex pats her on the shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile. "no stupid, I promise."

"good, now leave. I know you've been dying to get out of here," Emma smiles. Alex gives her a soft smile before saying her goodbyes to the hosts and leaving.

************************************************************************

casey was pacing back and forth in her office. her desk was a mess and olivia had just left her with zero leads, a case that's hard to deal with, and a "make it work, casey. it's your job." on top of that, her babysitter ditched her last minute, leaving her with her 5-year old daughter, amira, whining for mommy every two minutes in her office. "amira, can you please, just stop. stop." she snaps at the little girl in front of her. amira, clueless as to why, mommy just yelled, starts tearing up, making casey sigh. she was tired and frustrated and needed something rather someone to save her.

"did you seriously just yell at my favorite girl in the world?"

casey turns around and sees alex leaning on the door, with her arms crossed. "alex!" amira shoots up, running towards alex, hugging her legs tightly. casey lets out a sigh of relief, "you're here" she smiles. alex smiles back at her, lifting and carrying the five year old before walking towards casey. "babysitter ditched?" casey nods, looking down. "apparently, going out for ice cream with your "girlfriends" is much more better than earning money" the redhead says doing air quotes and rolling her eyes. alex lets out a soft chuckle, "she's a teenager, casey" she says as she puts amira down on her lap as she sits down. "what about-"

"he's out somewhere solving a case or whatever, i don't care, i just want everything sorted out" casey says cutting the blonde off.

"amira is his daughter and you both should talk-" alex cuts herself off as she sees casey rubbing her forehead. "migraine?" casey nods, "third one today. im being stretched out today. i need this case solved and i want, i just need something-"

"i can watch amira" alex blurts out.

"wait, really?" casey tilts. alex nods, “yeah i mean, youre loaded and amira is clearly bored. you can’t work well if you have a whiny five year old here” she says, playing with the little redhead’s curls. “it’s your day off, alex” the blonde looks up to face casey. “i know, that’s why i should do it. i can do the consult then i can take her home and watch her until youre done. that’s if you trust me enough to take her” alex says, earning a soft smile from casey. “that would be nice” alex smiles at her, admiring ever detail of casey’s face. she loved it when casey smiles, and she definitely sees that very same smile on amira, who is now looking at alex with a wide grin.

“let’s get that consult started then so i can take my favorite redhead home” alex grins.

************************************************************************

it was a few minutes before twelve when alex heard a knock on her door. behind the door was an exhausted casey who managed to give out a soft smile. "i'm sorry i got off late" she walked in. "it's okay, she slept instantly after dinner. she's a pretty active kid, y'know. i don't if it's yours or cha-" casey cuts her off, "it's mine. softball player, remember?" she smirks. a smile creeps up alex's face, "right."

"have you had dinner already?" alex asks. "you cooked?" casey asks putting her bag down on the floor and sitting on the couch. "as if i can" alex rolls her eyes, grabbing the unopened chinese take-out from the table and handing it to casey before sitting down next to her. casey smiles, taking the take-out and opening it, "i thought you were feeding my daugther.." alex looks at her raising her brow, "what?" the redhead chuckles at the blonde's reaction. "burnt food" alex dramatically gasps, pretending to be offended. "shame on you...well, i wouldn't poison your daughter like that, just you maybe" alex snarks.

"as if you haven't already" casey smirks takes another bite of her food. alex lets out a chuckle, positioning herself to face the other woman comfortably, propping her arm to support her head. "how are you casey?" she asks softly. casey pauses as she puts her chopsticks back on the take-out box, completely taken aback by the woman's blunt question. "i-i'm good. why'd you ask?"

"just asking, checking in rather"

"why?"

"casey, i asked you twice about charlie today, and you kept cutting me off everytime i ask you about him." casey rolls her eyes. "i just don't want to talk about my husband with my ex, is that so bad?" alex gives her a confusing look. "why not? i mean i'm not asking you to do something abrupt. i'm just asking about him because you're handling everything all at once when your husband should be helping you with crap" alex says. "amira is not crap" casey replies, putting down her food on the coffee table. "i never implied that. i would never think she is. she is your daughter and i know you love her" alex says, trying to find a way to defuse what would become an argument. "its- i-" casey sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "what is it?" alex asks, her eyes soft and pleading as if she's asking to help carry the burden that casey is visibly carrying. "you can always, always tell me anything casey"

"i miss you, alex" casey blurts out softly. "so, so, so bad" her voice breaks, her eyes welling up. she had let her walls crumble and fall for alex. "casey, i-"

"you don't have to say anything. i just- i needed to say that so badly. ever since the day i saw you again, i-"

"i miss you too. just as badly"

a tear rolls down casey's cheek. that was what she needed, all she wanted to hear. "oh, case.." alex scoots closer to pull the redhead towards her for a hug, rubbing casey's back as she breaks down on her shoulder. the warmth of her tears bleeding through her shirt. "i wish i didn't do what i did, alex. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry." casey says in between sobs. alex looks up as she feels her eyes start to tear up as well. those words felt like daggers to her heart.

casey pulls back wiping her tears away as she looks at alex. "i never stopped loving you" casey confessed. alex's jaw drops as she heard what casey had said. "charlie was...charlie was a fling i had after we broke up" she says. "you two dated. there's a difference between fling and dating-a huge one even" alex replies. "yes- well-" alex quickly cuts her off. "what lousy excuse do you have for that?" casey sighs. "i got pregnant with amira after our thing and i stayed. that's when we started dating."

alex sighs, shaking her head while pinching the bridge of her nose. this was new and heavy information. she didn't know how to handle something like this. "-and i couldn't get rid of the baby. not that people held me back...i just couldn't. i didn't have it in me to get rid of it" casey continues to explain. "then how did your career-"

"we made it work. i finished law school by then. my parents told me my best option would be to marry charlie, since it was the-"

"-right thing to do..." alex says continuing casey's sentence.

the redhead had fell silent for a few minutes. unsure of how this would play out. would she finally be with the woman she loved or would she lose her forver? either way, it looked bad. very bad. she sighed before continuing to explain, "my dad thought we should be married as soon as possible so that we can avoid amira being born before wedlock. then charlie agreed to work double shifts so i could start up my career after amira was born. when amira was two, he went on with the academy and became the cop that he is now. it... it all happened so fast. i wanted it to stop, i wanted you" at this point, casey was starting to tear up again. she was anxious and scared of how alex will react. she didn’t want much at that moment, she just wanted alex—regardless of the circumstance it would put them in.

“casey..” alex spoke. “please, alex..” casey pleads. “you know i would drop everything and anything for you right?” casey nods. “how long have you felt this way about charlie?” the green-eyed woman sighs, looking down. “a while” she replies. “and you want me? don’t you love him?”

“i- i..i do but- but not in the way married people do. it was a marriage of convenience. i got pregnant and he married me.”

“then leave him”

“alex, i can’t just-“

“and i am not gonna settle to be the other woman, just because you’re scared to get rid of your husband.”

“it’s not that easy, alex.” the blonde woman sighs. casey reluctantly took alex hands in hers, “i want amira to grow up with a mother and a father. i want her to know she’s loved by us. that we are both here for her” she says, her eyes glistening as she locks eyes with alex who looks down and pulls back her hands, “it’s late, casey. you should take amira home. drive safe”

“alexandra i-“

“don’t bother, casey. it won’t work. i love you, really i do, but i can’t do this. i can’t do what you’re implying i should do” alex explains, standing up from the couch. casey, who was sitting on the couch, felt helpless but huff. “it is late, i’ll go get amira and we should drive home” alex nods in response.

as alex walks them out the house, the first fall of snow appears. “first fall of snow” casey mumbles. alex hums in response as she helps casey to her car, watching her settle amira into her car seat. as soon as the redhead was finished, she turns to face alex, pressing her lips together, hoping-no, praying she would change her mind. alex lets out a soft smile, putting her hand on casey’s shoulder.

“in another life” she spoke.

“why not this one?” casey replies, looking at her soft blue eyes.

“life isn’t fair, casey.” alex replies.

“when will it be fair for us?” casey mumbles. alex then pulls casey in for a hug, “this is like your final year of law school, huh?” casey lets out a broken chuckle. “pretty much, yeah.”

“i love you always, alexandra” casey says.

“always in all ways” they both, surprisingly, said in unison.

no one can tell but that very day, they both lost a part of themselves, like they did a couple winters ago. both hearts were grieving and longing for each other.

as casey would say, "their love defied the gods, but it couldn’t defy fate itself."

************************************************************************

a few weeks later, emma had accompanied alex to her office, she “needed legal advice” was what she called that gesture but deep down she just wanted to make sure alex was okay, after the incident.

“yeah, so the barista is hot but i think im hotter so it wouldn’t make sense if— flowers,” she turns her head to look at alex who was just as shocked. “someone bought you flowers, alex” the blue-eyes woman nods her head, walking towards her desk, taking in the beauty of the bunch. “there’s a note” emma points out. alex then takes the note and reads it.

“i have always borne the weight of my choices, up until now.. you will forever be the loss of my life, alexandra. forever loving you, C.N.”

“what did it say?” emma asks. alex looks up from the note, quickly crumpling it and throwing it inside her drawer. “thank you note from a client” she smiles.

#casey novak #alex cabot #calex #law and order svu #diane neal #stephanie march #casey novak x alex cabot #wlw #alexandra cabot #svu

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