#Dess gets hot and bothered over cartoon mice

[desultory-novice]

character ask. rat.

Ah, the eloquence that Anon has failed to supply in their ask, I shall make up for with my own flair and panache, for what else are the legendary Squeaks known for, if not style!

...I swear I'm not a Daroach kinnie, I just love his type, okay?!

003 Daroach

How I Feel About This Character:

...I like cartoon mice. I'm not afraid to admit it! Whenever you've got an ensemble cast of anthropomorphized animals going on, tv show or game, my eyes just go to the rodents! And I like phantom thieves. Ooh boy, do I like phantom thieves... And I like the color red, especially when paired with top hats. So, uh, you put all those things together and you get a character Dess is going to like QUITE A LOT.

And I'm not the only one! Look at him! This is OFFICIAL ARTWORK!

Like, Magolor is a total chatterbox, but when it comes to dialogue in Kirby games, Daroach RAN so Magolor could float. How does he have so much character?! How does he have so much character that is sitting there and HAL just moves on...?! (If only Squeak Squad had a better rep as a game, or if Mass Attack came out a little earlier, he could have became a series regular, perhaps.)

Any/All the People I Ship Romantically With this Character:

More like who WON'T I ship with Daroach?!

...Hopefully you've all read "Dreamy Gear" in some form, where Daroach is just casually sleeping on Meta Knight's couch, entering through his window every night, talking about all his private habits to anyone who will listen, covering for him, and kissing him when the...! :SHOT: ...Ouch... Anyway. they're married. They're married in that universe, I'm sorry. I don't make the rules.

I actually forgot this during my DMK post, but I just now remembered that Star Allies pic of Daroach and DMK fighting back to back and it's like...oh no...they would be good too...

Oh, and I have a Daroach crack ship! Yesss, a crack ship. Are you ready? Daroach x Captain Vul! You heard me. Both of them have this mature vibe (...I've seen silver fox-style gijinka of Daroach that should be illegal...) and Daroach is a mouse and Vul is a bird of prey...but in this case, the tables are turned because Daroach is the master thief and Vul is, in a word, incompetent. And the way Vul gets all shooketh in Dreamy Gear whenever Daroach shows up! Anyway, thank you for letting me put that in your heads.

...To answer my own question of who I won't ship with Daroach, the answer is Adeleine but I always laugh at --the expression-- he gives her in the Star Allies victory picture. Maybe it’s the oldschool FF fan in me, but I feel he’s the kind to flirt harmlessly with her in a "...Perhaps if my lady was older..." kind of way. 

(...Waddle Dee squad cars appear. "Here Come the Squeaks!" plays.)

My Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship For This Character:

I've done this three times already and I actually think I keep getting this question wrong but whatever. I'll keep at it. I actually really like Daroach with THE SQUEAKS. Considering that none of the rest of them have any dialogue to speak of, you can just sort of sense their tight-knit band of brothers vibe? Daroach is so confident in his little Squeakers. And Doc...well Doc made Mecha Kracko and I hate that boss! (/pos) Spinni and Storo are good too. I love that they worked all of them into Star Allies! Class act!

My Unpopular Opinion About This Character:

I'm so sorry, I only have popular opinions that should be held by EVERYONE about Daroach, such as: "He is the most attractive Kirby character." "He should return to the main series." "He deserves to be represented in more merch." "He is a great cook, an upstanding gentleman, and an excellent lov-... :SHOT:

...Oh, here’s one! I have no idea where this falls on the scale of opinions, but it IS an opinion! I completely LOATHE how his name was localized! 

They did so good making sure "Mahoroa" became "Magolor" in English. How could they take a beautiful name like ドロッチェ, a clever combination of the Japanese word for "thief" (dorobo) and the Italian word for "sweet" (dolce) and come up with something that has the word ROACH in it?! I'm not always a huge weeb, but I will -always- pronounce his name JP style for this reason.

One Thing I Wish Would Happen / Had Happened With This Character In Canon:

...Maybe not getting jobbed by the worst last boss in Kirby history...? AHEM!  U-uh, the Triple Star!! The Triple Star is CLEARLY important (despite being terribly silly looking) yet with future Daroach appearances being a massive unknown, we still know almost nothing about it? Where did it come from? Is it another Halcandran artifact? How'd he get it?! (I actually have my own headcanon about that. Will make it a post someday.)

Favorite Friendship For This Character:

Outside of shipping them, he and Meta Knight are, again, amazing in the Dreamy Gear Novel. But also Kirby! Daroach is so soft on Kirby, sticking around to help him out for a really long time and talking to him, like, OMG, cute!

And Adeleine in an obviously non-romantic way. I keep thinking about I-like-eyes's post where Daroach and Adeleine are talking about fanfic (idk if it's a quote from something or not, anyway it was hilarious) and that is exactly the kind of thing I want to see more of!

My Crossover Ship/FREE SPACE/Video Recs:

...Uh, fandom? Where are the Daroach videos?! How am I supposed to link an amazing Daroach AMV if no one has made one?! There is that Rhythm Heaven parody, 「こっそりドロッチェ団」 which is super cute but still...

Anyway, he may not be loved by AMV creators, but according to what I've seen, he's fairly loved in both the Mie novels and many of the manga adaptations! I don't know if this is one of the ones that is out of print or not, but someday I'd like to see more of the Kirby manga that released right around Squeak Squad's release date that I recall bumps him right up to regular cast member!