#Denial in me is so strong

[silveranchor]

I love Frank Langdon, because it's post-rehab and he's clearly (pathetically) in love with his 😊best friend😊 Dr. Mel King, but he literally wouldn't know his feelings if they hit him in the face, because they have, multiple times, in the form of several walls all over the ED (doors are involved too)

[dailykarin]

meow

day 13 karin: and i was beginning to think you were clever, miss sauer

[deiaiko]

#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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[itsmistyeyedbi]

I'M FINALLY DONE! HELL YEAH🔥🔥

I'm gonna post it later though because there's a whole lot of fics I wanna read now that I'm outside of Zuri’s head for a bit lol.

So until then, wanna look at what I named it when I first jotted the idea down in my notes?

[s0fter-sin]

sometimes i think about how wild a mw2 movie would be if they just dropped soapghost right in the middle with no warning or marketing. like imagine it being beat for beat the exact same, it’s your typical military action movie, promoted as just another military action movie then after they get to the safe house, ghost has to patch up soap and he’s still out of it, overwhelmed by the betrayal and everything he’s seen and ghost needs to ground him and keep him in the present, to remind him that he’s alive and safe so he kisses him and they have sex. the tantrums and the rants and the “ReAl sOLdiErS aRen’t liKe ThAt”, god i can taste it and it’s delicious

[jumpingtoconclusions]

i remember when s5 came out and everyone was talking about buff merlin and i thought i was so quirky and different for not liking him. i was like i just don’t like him all manly, he used to be so pretty before when he was more similar to morgana im so different hahaha NO YOU DELUSIONAL DUMB FUCK YOU JUST LIKE WOMEN

[aparticularbandit]

I think the biggest character note I use for Junko/Ryoko as a whole is her response to Mukuro telling her to kill the Madarai.

Because - despite imagining it very clearly, and despite Yasuke being at risk - Ryoko can't do it. She can't kill them. She doesn't care about hope or despair, but she can't kill the Madarai - who have been trying to kill/capture her from their first meeting - even if it means being able to reunite with Yasuke. She can't. She refuses.

And it's clear from Mukuro's reaction that Ryoko was expected to kill them. Mukuro is confused. Puzzled. This is not the way this scenario is supposed to go. Ryoko is supposed to kill the Madarai so that her hope (seeing Yasuke again) would overcome her despair (not seeing Yasuke again, being forced into this horrible choice).

But Ryoko...doesn't.

It is the thing that Junko scripted out and told Mukuro would happen and then it doesn't. Which means that Junko incorrectly predicted herself.

Mukuro sends Ryoko on anyway because Junko would be disappointed if the scenario ended like that - without the climax - but the scene still stands.

Junko says later that she predicted everything perfectly, but she didn't.

Junko thought Ryoko - she, herself - would murder to get to Yasuke.

But she didn't.

And that's the core of a lot of my characterization of Junko and Ryoko.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Why am I. So scared of Strangeglove of all things with getting so attached to him.

[vault81]

got the first season of battlestar galactica on dvd so ig I'm doing a rewatch!

[dragoncharming]

my hot take is that piggyback rides can be more intimate than princess carry.

princess carry:

one person's side pressed against the other's front

maybe arms wrapped around a neck but that just pulls them closer to

stare at someone's chin

less secure. depends entirely on arm strength so can't last as long

piggyback:

arms and legs wrapped around the person. entire torsos pressed together. hands braced on the person's thighs.

both staring forward.

you think that's a draw back? no. we all know about the car leading to more intimate conversation bc you don't have to look at each other

one person's mouth right by the other's ear. breath on their neck

multiple points of contact, distributes the weight more centrally. can go longer.

it's just a matter of PR: nomenclature and one looks cuter on TV. the physical reality? oh baby

[the-blorb-system]

Back on my bullshit (I think I'm making it all up)

[orvreread]

Ep. 42 - Asmodeus

At first, I purely felt gratitude. Ah! Yoo Joonghyuk was a decent person! That jerk hit the industrial complex to save me! I felt thrilled for a while without thinking much. Then once I thought about it, I couldn't believe it. That Yoo Joonghyuk entered the Gilobat Industrial Complex to save me? In the first place, it was strange that Yoo Joonghyuk knew about my crisis. How could a guy who wasn't a constellation or have access to a channel know about my crisis? Thus, Yoo Joonghyuk was likely to do the opposite of coming to my rescue. He noticed that I impersonated him and came to the Demon Realm to pick me up. In the meantime, something went wrong and he headed to the Gilobat Industrial Complex first where he went through an unnecessary dispute and overturned the industrial complex. I couldn't even fathom how much rage it felt to do that.

[quietwingsinthesky]

haunting the narrative for real. we don’t even know she exists until s11 (because it’s a poorly planned show) but everything has been about this injustice that all of creation is built on top of. it is about her!!!

[demonnstein]

Mourning the life I wanted for myself again 😔✌️

[nutria--oscura]

Just said (outloud) "ohmigosh I love looking at sorting algorithms so much!" as I added a 58minute "sorting algorithms to study/relax to" video to watch later. knowing full well I will watch all 58minutes and 4secons of that algorithm sorting bars as intently as a surgeon looks at their patient whilst performing surgery

And my parents still haven't realised I'm autistic how?