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oh-for-fic-sake · 5 years ago

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Trophy Chapter Eleven

Masterlist

You try thinking for yourself and Daddy isn't to pleased and its going to end in tears.

Warnings: Adult Situations 18+, Smut, Angst, DDLG, DOM/SUB, Punishment, Spanking, Tawse, Crop, Ass play, Pacifier gag, Wetting, Wedgie, Toys, Humiliation, Overstimulation? and finally FLUFF cos we all need a bit of a cuddle after this shit.

A/N: So I am super nervous about this one...More so than anything I've done before just because of the wetting but it is what it is I've warned you all so read at your own peril. And this is long hence why I couldn't have it in the last chapter lol I hope this makes up for the last one though... I hope you all enjoy

Taglist: @havenoffandoms @aphrodites-punch @charlieferret @thatgirly81 @two-unbeatable-beaters @fitnees-motivation-2020 @viking-raider @iloveyouyen @black-ninja-blade @strangerliaa @sofiebstar @thefangirlsblog @thatdamncutegirl

You fidgeted in the seat as Luke sat there smugly, he was pleased you had decided to come. Just a few more weeks and he would be free! free from that tyrannical mad man! no. He couldn't get to excited yet, weeks...It would be at least two before they drag him in to court and you'd sing on the stand! you'd come clean letting them know just how terrible it was to be kidnapped, to be forced into becoming a sex slave for Henry! God! Luke was so giddy he could taste the freedom...And maybe, just maybe if some of Henry's empire was left standing he could take the reigns himself. He looked over to you, you were quiet and different like you were on a mission it was slightly unnerving. You were angry and scared and confused... He could tell but there was a calm that he had only seen on Henry, he must have rubbed off on you...In more ways then one. Unable to take it anymore he broke the silence trying to dig for info. "You holding up there Princess?" you growled clenching her hands into fists still facing forward gulping, you looked wound tight ready to burst. Excellent. Hopefully you'd burst into tears as soon as they got there! what a show that would be! you come running in as a damsel in distress hell if that happened you'd be put into witness protection and he wont see you until the trial! he flinched as you snapped him out of his thoughts snipping at him in a tight angry voice, like a little hell cat hissing at him. "Don't! do not call me princess ever!" "Okay okay I'm sorry...That was thoughtless of me... I suppose you don't like that name huh? I don't blame you though what he put you through and all" you turned to him rolling your eyes at him. Really? but once he started he couldn't seem to stop, unable to shut him self up. "Not-not that I'd ever understand what he has done to you..We hear it but... We try to stay away-" "Then your complaisant in it? you knew but never helped...You know what it's like? You ever think what it feels like to have someone use you? Play with your body like a fucking toy?...To force themselves on to it? into it? no, no you don't, you try not to don't you? You would rather just turn a blind eye and ignore the screaming girl up in the bed room...You run and hide away like a coward" your words were cold and bit into him, there was an animosity there that he had yet to see in a female was this it? the famed 'girl power' that reared its head in the most dire of circumstances...Shit you were holding up to well,all previous thoughts of a simpering damsel died at your sharp tone...Like ice picks cold and biting, he had to know what you were going to say before he got there to come up with some bullshit excuses. He moved uncomfortably at your words...They hit a little to close to home. "..You decided what your going to tell them?" You gave a tight smile he had no idea what you were about to do, that you'd already figured him out, the man new nothing of subtlety...He was nothing like Henry, he was trying to be but...No there was only one king in this city and he was currently being questioned, you turned to him again and nodded wanting to placate him for the time being. "Yes I have...Do you have the bail money...I don't want to be here to long" "Well that depends of what you tell, them-"you interrupted him he was to be quite frank doing your fucking head in and you needed to focus anything you said today was going to have to be perfect and vague, You shook your head tutting and looked at him exasperated. "I don't have much to say I won't be in there long" you moved your head looking out the window as the building passed you by you had to hold your nerve in there. Had to tell them what you wanted them to know...Nothing else, nothing more. Go in a quick statement and get out with Henry... And when he gets angry; which he will your going to drop Luke in the shit you've had enough of the lies. "Look I can-We can help each other if you'd just tell me what your going to say-" you growled out in annoyance and finally snapped at him. "Could you shut up? for two minuets? just two fucking minuets?! fuck sake I'm going to deal with it okay..Just don't wanna wind up dead okay just ...Drop it" He got the message and kept his mouth shut the rest of the way not making a sound as he pulled up at the station you got out before Luke could stop you on a mission. You entered and made your way yo the front desk. "I'm here for Cavill are they done yet?" Luke staggered up behind you trying to figure out just what the fuck was going on. Why had you asked about Henry? Wasn't you about to throw him in the shit? you were supposed to throw him under the bus and set Luke free...Or was this cover to get an interview or something?The officer blinked looking to you then Luke before continuing in a bored tone. "And...Who are you exactly?" you steeled yourself trying to be more than you were, wanting to be taken seriously as an adult and...It had been a while since you had that, it was a little daunting. "His girlfriend and this is our driver...What's his bail?" The officer looked at you frowning then to the screen she began typing away giving you sidelong glances as if she knew you. a few moments later she turned back to you. "Err well nothing...Mr Cavill hasn't formally been charged he is still in questioning" you nodded and leaned forward slightly that didn't make sense Luke said? Oh shit!fuck fuck fuck! You should have just stayed home! You faltered realizing just how gullible youd been, if he wasn't arrested then that means the police really didn't have anything on him, you didn't need to make a statement to help Henry out! You quickly decided you needed to get out of here. Try to go wait in the car or something. "When will he be done? its been hours " The woman at the desk shook her head "I'm afraid I can't discuss that with you-" you nodded gojng to walk back out side but Luke gripped your arm in a tight grip, he would not let you walk out of here not when he was so close to getting his way! "I thought you wanted to give a statement about last night you are a witness...I'm sure they would like to here your account of what happened y/n" you swore panicked and tried wriggling out of his grasp but no i was too late. The officer blinked at Luke then to you slowly seemingly remembering something and pointed to you her face lighting up. "Wait Y/n? Your y/n y/l/n?" You frowned at her unsure how she knew who you were but nodded slowly uneasy you looked to Luke who just smiled at you. "Yes how did you?" She nodded to the missing persons board you were there dead center, that hadn't been there previously did they know? "I? What?" The officer got up walking around to your side she looked smug like the cat that got the canary as she came to a stop before you clasping your hands in hers. "We definitely need to take a statement from you, follow me" Luke gave a hard shove making you fall in step behind the officer, you glared back at him but he just stood there stuffing his hands in his pockets he looked pleased with himself as you sent one final glance over your shoulder as you were taken into a room alone with an officer. They would break you, you’d squeal, Henry would go inside and he would be free and take a decent retirement for Henry's stash!

Henry chuckled as he sat there refusing to answer the questions choosing to invoke his right to remain silent...He'd been here hours but he knew they cant keep him long. They have nothing, absolutely nothing on him! they never do. Stephan was mentioned so he knew that little twat was the one behind it..most likely pressing charges, or trying to press charges on him. nothing would come of it he wasn't there he was at home. "Did you have any contact with Stephan last night?" "No comment" was the droll from the bored man. "You did you were seen having an altercation with him last night at your restaurant...a miss Y/L/N was there to" that got his attention the officer smirked as Henry sat up now meaning business, but Henry stopped himself and smirked at the cunt infront of him. "No comment" "...did you know she has been reported as missing for nearly five months Mr Cavill?" "You fucking leave her out of it!" the officer smirked "So you do talk Mr Cavill...you know shes going to need to be questioned Stephan named her as an accomplice...did she know about this incident Mr Cavill?" Henry growled low and leand forward glaring angrily at the officer who flinched back suddenly not feeling so safe in his uniform.Good he shouldn't "No comment" "What is your relationship with miss Y/L/N?" "No comment" "Ah right that’s a shame... She said that your her boyfriend...Should I go tell her you wont even own up to that? it’d only take a moment...Shes giving a statement in the room over" "Bullshit she's at home" "Home? Your home because she isn't at hers" fuck Henry snarled at the little man trying to play a big game...officer rook by his tag...Officer Rook was going to have a nasty fall after all this. Henry's face must have said it all as something else was wrote down then looked up again smirking and carried on.

"So a missing woman you have no ties to is living in your home and calls you her boyfriend?" "Your tricks wont work on me shes at home" a sly smiled crept across officer Rooks face, he knew something Henry didn't and Henry wasn't happy. "Oh no your driver brought her here..Been in that room for just under twenty minuets...I wonder how much faith you have in her" Henry jumped up swearing loudly "Fuck you!" the officer smiled at him "Right well that’s all we needed today Mr Cavill your free to go we will be in touch" Henry was quick to stalk out of the room wanting to get to Luke asap he stopped short as you were escorted out of the room next to him a female officer patting your shoulder. "That’s all miss Y/L/N thank you for your cooperation..We will be in touch if we need anything else" Henry froze his blood ran cold as he watched you move away from the officer you turned and lit up.You little Bitch

You were escorted into a room sitting down with another woman a kind looking woman. She was down giving a convincing smile but you didn't buy it they wanted you to throw Henry under the bus. She offered you a drink but you refused and took a seat instead. "Now..Miss y/l/n we are going to just ask you some questions today about last night? Okay? And if...If there is anything anything at all that you want to let us know we will listen...We have...Ways to keep you safe...Okay?" You nodded deciding it'd be best to play meek little woman for the time being. "Right did you see Stephan last night?" wow she wasn't wasting any time was she? you nodded no point in beating around the bush you wanted this over. "Yes I did" she moved shuffling her papers getting ready for some juicey info no doubt. "Can you tell me about that? What happened?" "He came to the restaurant...Must have followed us there wanted me to take him back, groveling really I said no" she nodded writing down your answer "And by us you mean you and?" "Henry..Me and Henry were having a date night somehow Stephan found out and got in, he wanted me to go back to him...He is my ex and can't move on...He was escorted out after I told him to leave...I don't want to see her again" she hummed writing down everything you said. "So Henry is your boyfriend?" and here we go, twisting the topic trying to find out as much on Henry, last nights incident a ruse to get you in here, just as you expected. You fluttered your lashes like a woman in love, excited and happy you didn't want her to know you knew what she was up to. "Yes! we have been together for a few months...Its serious..Think he might be the one! But Stephan is bitter over it, he doesn't like Henry would do and say anything to split us apart...Stephan and I ended on a bad note" she nodded fraighning a sympathetic look she didn't really give a fuck she wanted dirt on Henry. "A difficult break up?" you shook your head at her this was not going to fall on you! "Sudden...I he had been lying to me and using me I found out and left he wasn't happy...He followed me about scared me then one day he saw me with Henry and I was happy and he got worse" she quickly scribbled down a few more sentences. "And you said you'd been with Henry for a few months...Does that have anything to do with your disappearance?" You faltered heart pounding away did you? Should you? Your mouth went dry.This was it...the moment you could...you frowned should you do it? You came here to get him out, you had no real reason to protect him or give him loyalty.? Accept you loved him...Did you? Was it real this time....There was a painful jab that hit your chest when you thought about never seeing the beautiful man again, it was fleeting but it solidified our resolve. As you opened your mouth to answer she spoke quickly trying to sway your decision. She moved placing a hand on yours on the desk. "Y/n? Are you okay? You can tell me...We can help you" you blinked and slipped your hand back and down into your lap. "No I'm fine I-I was hiding from Stephan... I knew he wouldn't stop bugging me, looking for me and Henry he offered me a place to stay and I've been there ever since we...We fell in love and that was it..." you took a deep breath she didn't believe you but she couldn't discredit you. "So you live with Mr Cavill consensually? Of your own free will?" "Yes I do...I love him..." her face went tight and twitched she wasn't happy. She quickly changed her tone sounding a little snippy with you. "And why now? Why come out here now?" "Because Stephan is trying to ruin my happiness... As far as he is concerned if he can't have me no one can...I'm not sure what he is accusing Henry of...But he didn't do it he was with me all night" she perked up at that looking at you intently "All night? are you sure that he didn't slip away? For ten? fifteen minuets?" you shook you head at her giggling a little. "No he didn't, I'm never left alone when we play" she faltered not understanding what you meant. Good, this will make for an awkward conversation that she will want to end. "Play?" you smiled blushing a little at her and shifted in your seat. "We have a particular interests... But I can tell you he was with me last night...We had a very intense night" that made her even more confused...And you thought you were being pretty clear so shes either innocent or just fucking dumb! "I don't understand? I'm afraid we need more then that...We need a reason" You looked around the room sighing fuck, fuck fuck! Your gaze traveled back to her your eyes squinted she was pissing you off. "I err...Its embarrassing" you went silent for a few moments looking to your lap picking at your skirt your confidence draining did they need to know...but it was the truth. "Everything is confidential? Right...just-just you and me no one else?" She lightened up sitting a little straighter in her seat thinking you’d changed your mind and was about to tell all.

"Yes, yes of course no one, not even Mr Cavill will know what has been said in here, this is a safe space for you y/n I promise" you blinked and let out a breath "Henry and I we...are into kinky sex...Bdsm...We had a very long and intense BDSM session last night Henry doesn't leave the room when I'm tied up incase things go wrong that's how I know he didn't do anything we were at it most of the night" you watched the woman flush as you spelled it all out for her and make her embarrassed you smirked a little happy that she now felt just as uncomfortable as you did. You knew that face though, she was picturing him naked...You can't blame her for getting all flustered your daddy was a fine specimen~ "So he didn't leave the room?" you bit your lip to stop your giggles when she spoke trying to salvage herself and be professional and finish the interveiw. But instead of making her squirm any more then she obviously was you spoke. "No he didn't" "Not even after you fell asleep? How can you be sure?"" wow this bitch was persistent! You stopped for a moment pausing...Why are you so sure? How could you know for certain that he didn't leave? think! think! she smirked leaning back thinking she had you but suddenly there was an idea out of nowhere and you blurted it out...This will fucking show her! "He fell asleep with his cock in me...Henry is...Large as I'm sure you can imagine...If he had pulled out I'd have woken up.....Now is that all?" You sat smug as she stuttered over her words shaking her head and swallowed dryly. Thats it bitch suck it up Daddy is coming home. "Err yes... Well just to clarify you and Henry were together all night .And you disappeared because you had a bad break up with Stephan and felt unsafe...Y ou moved in with Mr Cavill; of your own free will, and this Stephan has been looking for you, he found you last night and tried to reconcile?" You nodded as she read back the basics "And you refused him then Mr Cavill had him escorted out?" "No security escorted him out, it was reservation only and he was causing a scene then me and Henry finished our meal and went home where we both stayed all night can I go now?" She nodded placing her pen down "Right... You may need to testify in court if Henry does get charged, or new evidence comes to light" you smiled and nodded to her she was trying to get a reaction...Anything to use you'd give her nothing! She sighed scrunching her face sourly before speaking "I will take you off the missing persons list as well" you stood thanking her as she escorted you out of the room. You followed and looked down the hall at the sound of foot steps seeing a brooding Henry stalking towards you from the next room. Your face lit up as you saw him and the two officers in the hall watched tryingnto notice any little strange details. But you ignored them both.

Henry! he was okay! You smiled turning to him and ran he looked angry but in that moment you didn't care you were just happy to see your daddy unharmed...Not that you thought the police would touch him but you had your doubts. He returned your hug stiffly rubbing your back tucking into into the crook of your neck and whispered harshly in your ear "What the fuck are you doing here little girl?" You pulled back ignoring his anger for a second knowing the officers were still watching you closely. "Shut up and kiss me" you lunged forward catching him by surprise he quickly played along moving his lips against yours moaning kissing you deep putting on a show for the police... It worked as they cringed looking away. You pulled back slowly and gasped whispering quietly. "Are you alright?" "I'm fucking livid! You are in so much trouble you have no idea whats in store for you little girl now move it!" You gasped looking up at him hurt why was he mad? Did he think you’d betrayed him? "Your..I thought you'd be happy to see me daddy... I came to help" he frowned and began walking down the hall ushering you out of the exit. "I didn't need your fucking help! I needed your obedience...You've made it worse no doubt! Just be quiet you've done enough!" You whined as he marched you to the car opening the door for you letting you climb in, you turned to him as he went to shut the door. "H-Henry please I was-" he raise a hand pointing a shaking finger at you trying to curb his anger and slapped a hand harshly on the roof of the car hissing at you. "Enough! ....E-fucking-nough! Not a word!...You hear me?! not a single fucking peep! I'm so angry with you!" You flinched leaning back looking like a kicked puppy, why wont he listen? Why isn't he giving you a chance to explain? You had to try you moved looking up blinking away the tears blurring your eyes. "But daddy-?" He growled and leaned into the car pushing you to sit properly shoving and twisting you to face forward showing restraint he didn't want to hurt you yet. "What did I just say? Not a word! I don't want to hear a peep out of you! Not a whine whimper or sigh! You will wait until daddy wants to talk to you and not a second before!" You whimpered looking down trembling your bones shaking under the force of your fear ,he slammed the car door with an angry grunt and stalked around the back of the land rover getting in sitting next to you. He shut the door bringing a hand up to his face rubbing the bridge of his nose with a sigh he had a head ache coming. He cast you a severe look "Stop it...Little one stop your sniveling you know I wanted you at home....Put your seat belt on...Put it on now!" you ignored him to upset to really register what he said you just shivered replaying his dark angry tone controlled...Barely had you fucked up? you squeaked as he swore and lean’t across you tugging the seat belt and clipped it in harshly "Put your fucking seat belt on and stop fucking crying!" he moved tilting your head to face him, you jerked back at the cold fury lurking in his eyes. "Just wait until we get home!" you whined and quickly covered your mouth in panic not meaning to make a sound you were trying to e a good girl but it was hard when you felt so put out.

The ride home was quiet you glared out of the window feeling put out. You just wanted to help. Henry sat next to you his fist at his side on the seat you turned feeling more upset by the second. You shuffled forward to him but he didn't look at you just glowered out the window. You looked down, you shouldn't have let Luke get to you, you sniffled wiping at your eyes in vain as tears began to fall. Henry tutted at you as you cried quietly.Luke finally pulled into the garage and got out he looked back noticing that neither of you were moving. "Drop the keys and fuck off out..Everyone I want the house to myself now get fucked!" Luke sighed and nodded dropping the keys on the back seat between you and left quickly without a word. You both sat there in silence for a few seconds you were to afraid to move and Henry was to angry. He was fuming you, how? How could you go in there and tell them anything? Did you? was he wrong about you? He loved you so much, had he been blind sided? He spared you a glance it broke his heart seeing you so upset but, he was just to angry with you. He wanted to know what was said. The flicked his gaze over to where Luke had disappeared to. That was another question, the officer said Luke had brought you there. So just what the fuck was he playing at? Had you and Luke settled your differences to frame him? Or was there something more... Did you like Luke? Was he fucking you behind Henry’s back? All these thoughts raced around his head making him angrier by the second. He couldn't stand it anymore. Henry’s dark voice made you jump when he finally spoke "You embarrassed yourself today and you embarrassed me...I'm very disappointed in you and very very angry" You froze as he said this looking to him, even in this intimidating state you couldn't help admire him, he was just to perfect to handsome and strong. His jaw twitched flexing the muscles in his shoulders and neck, his eyes had become a dark royal blue fury blurring the normally bright irises. You took a deep breath before trying to do some damage control. "I-I'm sorry I just thought-" Henry snapped his head to you and sneered menacingly, he looked like a bully like a cruel man...He looked like a mob boss all cold and fierce. "You thought what? That I needed you? That you had to come and save me? They had nothing until you opened you stupid fucking mouth!" You flinched whimpering shrinking back into your shoulders you couldn't find any words that could help calm him down but nothing you thought of would help. "I-I didn't mean to... I'm sorry" "You fucking better be little girl! Let me make something abundantly clear to you...Last night was wonderful! A step in the right direction....But nothing has fucking changed...Absolutely nothing you are not my equal! You are not even fucking close, your a baby girl, my a pet, my little fuck toy! And you have got a hell of a long way to go before I think of you as anything more then that...You just want to hope that these charges are dropped!" His word hit you hard, the most spiteful thing he'd ever said to you. You gulped trying to brush off the hurtful comments, telling yourself they were said in anger. But the damage was done, it felt like a hot poker jammed in your windpipe hitting you with a crushing force...Nothing had changed? Last night this morning? It had meant everything to you and...Nothing to him just another game, just another round in this whole shit fest you hiccuped through your quiet sobs. "Daddy I just wanted-" he growled at you flexing his fingers as he snapped at you again throwing his arms out in anger slapping the leather of the seats. "Oh I know what you wanted and for your sake I hope you fucking chickened out or you have got hell to pay!" you looked to him wide eyed did he really think you'd rat him out? that you'd leave the station with him if you'd told them everything? "I didn't tell them about...I just said last night you were with me and that Stephan came to the restaurant..That’s all" "That’s all you better have said little girl! You better be telling the truth and trust me I will have a copy of your statement by the end of the week and if your lying things are going to get very very unpleasant for you... So if I was you I'd think long and hard about what you need to tell daddy" you blinked up at him trembling his voice was tight and firm, low he had that terrifying calm and collected anger...You-almost felt impersonal...It sounded like when he spoke to Fletcher, even though he called you by your pet name you felt like you'd stopped being his little girl and was now just business, something he had to put up with, rather then something he cherished. The thought of losing him despite lying for him made you cry harder you still tried keeping your sobs quiet wanting to still be his good girl, he told you to be quiet and you couldn't even do that! You just felt so bad. He was angry so so angry your stomach twisted you were scared, scared of what he was going to do when you get upstairs, scared of what the police would do if they would try to use you against him? But most of all you were scared that in some stupid miscalculation you'd just destroyed the relationship you had with this awfully addictive man. You panicked apart of you debating whether you should run but you stayed looking down ready to face what ever Henry was going to throw at you this time however you felt like you deserved it...You'd take anything he through at you and once his anger had settled and you proved how sorry you was you could explain, what you said why you were there...Tell him about Luke and how he had tricked you and put you on the spot. After that all you could do was hope he would believe you. You'd be his good girl until he forgave you....If he ever did. "Now go wait in the office daddy has to get a few things...Wait in the corner hands on your head" you trembled again and moved slowly unbuckling the seat belt, you gave him one last pleading look but he wasn't looking at you instead he was fiddling with the car keys luck had left on the seat. You were distraught he really wasn't even going to let you explain? He was just going to punish you? You jumped out of the car then ran up the stairs into the house crying your heart out as you realized that maybe you truly meant nothing to him? that this man who you fell in love with was just toying with you and was going to throw you away once he was bored.

You cried the entire time standing in the corner your hands twisting the sleeves of Henry's sweater nervously as you had them placed on the top of your head, one slipped down occasionally to wipe your face. You were on edge terrified...What if he getting the ginger out again? the thought made you bottom clench painfully.... What if he had something worse? you shuddered at the thought was there worse? you shook the trembles making you panic and struggle to keep your breathing steady hiccuping and freaking out but you stayed standing as still as you could, you wanted to be good, you'd take everything he decided you needed then...Then what? would things be as good as they was this morning? Even though it wasn't real and he didn't mean it... Another wave of tears started and you coughed wiping your eyes and nose not wanting to be a snotty mess when he came up here. Thankfully or... Regrettably? You wasn't alone too long maybe twenty minutes or so Henry came into the office, you didn't peek you didn't want to. You heard a few items being moved and closed your eyes pressing you forehead to the wall sobbing louder. Henry turned snapping his fingers at you in warning. "Hey!...That’s enough you knew what you'd get...Now stop your pathetic crying you don't have a reason to yet little girl..." you took a deep shaking gasp biting your lip trying to curb your almost hysterical crying long high whines still crept front you against your will. You heard rattling and something being spread out over the sofa and something like a pot being place on the hard wood floor. He was calm it seemed ,well he wasn't slamming things. It wasn’t long before he came up behind you you shook knees knocking as he stood right close, his thighs skimming your ass you took a deep breath closing your eyes you dared not even breath! Henry shushed you moving your hair back combing it with his fingers gently until it was all behind you then pulled it into a ponytail still hushing you. The soft words and slow fingers did nothing to calm you, it made you anxious he was preparing you for something. "Hush now...Calm down pet, that’’s it good girl...Now you know daddy doesn't like to hurt you...No no no he doesn't but when you are naughty; and you have been very naughty he has to correct you...doesn't he pet?" The words were slow and collected a deep voice made deeper by his mood it was a tone that commanded obedience and the power to sway ones opinion with clever words. You jumped whimpering when he moved his hands from your now secure hair drawing faint lines down your back placing his large palm to your lower back then drew his hand down to the hem of his sweater that drowned you. "Today you will learn to mind me~ learn that when I put you somewhere, when I tell you to stay you will stay there until I call you or collect you." He bite his lip at your tremble as much as he hated scaring you and much as he knew what he was about to do would most likely set you back a week or so he couldn't help be aroused by our fear. It did delicious things to you, your whole body trembled goosebumps rose across the plains of your soft supple skin and your breathing became shallow, labored whines and mewls wrapped up in each soft pant...And your eyes stunning beautiful and deep made lighter when all glassy wet with tears. As much as he would love to see them right now he needed you to obey to prove yourself, be his good little baby. He needed to know he could trust you. He also needed prove a point. "You are a pretty little thing like this, so sweet and innocent...Naive, but very very stupid much like a doll pretty to look at but nothing behind the eyes" His words were a baritone growl but what frightened you was you sounded like a thing...Not a person, he had always called you baby girl, little one..Pet but never, he had never objectified you like that before you were never just a thing. Never a doll, dolls were objects, things they were lifeless.The word coiled tight digging its way into your chest biting and ripping making you sob and panic. "Did you think daddy would let this go?..." he moved pulling the sweater higher drawing out gosebumps as he went, you were naked below no vests or bra...You didn't need them you were meant to be indoors all day. He growled when you didn't answer and tugged the sweater harshly slipping it through your fingers and dumped it carelessly on the floor. He grabbed your neck making you squeak and shake your head but fought the urge to grab him moving your hands back into position, planted firmly on your crown fingers interlocked and digging into each other. His fingers dug into your neck slowly cutting off your airway. He moved his face closer grunting in your ear a viscous whisper the words sharp and taunting. "Answer me princess! Did you think I'd let your naughtiness go? That I'd fucking let you get away with being such a back stabbing little cunt!?" You yelped as he shook you harshly you had to shift your feet to keep from tripping over your feet as his brute strength almost pulled you off your feet. But hearing a pet name did make you feel better not much but you were almost sure he wasn't going to kill you, which in your eyes became a real possibility when he sent everyone away. "No-o! No da-daddy I DIDN'T-I..I DONT DADDY PLEASE I'M SORRY PLEASE I DIDNT TELL THEM I SWEAR! PLEASE DONT-" you curled down sobbing louder fighting the urge to move, to turn and clutch at him all you wanted was in that moment was him. For him to reassure you, but what you got was biting words as he snapped at you. "Enough! Your getting what you deserve! Think you can best me do you? Well daddy has ways of keeping his little girl in line! You are mine! You hear me? Mine your mind body and soul belong you me!" In his rant he had released your neck all but ripped your skirt off and froze snarling. You did to knowing he had seen the panties you'd stupidly forgot to kick off when you came up here. "What are those?..." you went to twist to look at him but he snapped his fingers at you with a growl making you snap back up straight looking at the wall. Henry shook his head, had you been allowed to look at him you’d have seen his blue eyes blazing with disbelief and glee? Like he was happy he had another thing to punish you for. Despite what he said about not wanting to punish you he did, in his mind there was nothing better then punishing a naughty pet. He licked his bottom lip and pointed at the thin cotton, then snapped his head up? When he didn't say anything more you did turn tilting your head around and down to peek at the offending undies. "No don't fucking look at me! I asked you a question! Get your nose in the corner! What are these?" He moved a hand to sit on your covered ass and pinched the fabric you hissed as he caught a tiny bit of skin and whined jumping forward. "I..D-daddy please! I'm sorry" you jumped when he moved swiftly landing a hot slap to your bottom more followed heating your cheeks quickly making you squirm and jump trying to stand still yet wanting to throw yourself tighter into the corner to escape his palm. The tutted at your twisting hips and grabbed them in bot hands jolting you back to stand straight. "Keep your ass still! Now what are they? Hmm because they look like a pair of big girl panties on a little baby!...now what are they? You better start talking little girl!" He gave a few more strikes to your tender bottom then smoothed his hand over the cheeks smiling at the pink marks that frames the tiny undies, you bounced on your tip toes hissing and yipping at the light burn.

"P-panties! P-PANTIES I'M SORRY!please please daddy I'm sorry daddy" he tutted at you and pulled the elastic around one of the leg holes and plucked it stretching it letting it snap back making you yelp louder as it left a strip on your already sore bottom. He smiled at the cute sound. He wasn't to angry now, he hadn't been since he took a quick breather in your bedroom but he was annoyed in fact he was having fun. He wouldn't be touching you if he was truly angry but you didn't seem to know that, and you didn't need to know either your fear would make his punishment sink in. "And what the fuck are they doing concealing that little cunt from me? Huh? What have I said about them?" His voice was almost teasing daring you to play up ,to ignore him and answer him. He plucked at them again letting it snap back painfully in the same spot as before making the tiny red welt raise throbbing. "I'm n-not allo-wed th-them o-on daddy" you shook trying to catch your beath your ass already alight and stinging the nerves warmed by his impossibly hard palm. "That’s right but if you want them on? fine you get to fucking keep them on!" He moved forward quicker than you could react fisting his hand in the back of the panties and pulled them high. You screamed moving your hands to the wall in front of you trying to stabilize yourself. You screeched high and loud as he lifted you up by them, your weight falling into the gusset the undies crushing painfully on your cunt slipping violently between your lips then went back. It hurt as the thin cotton disappeared up between your cheeks stinging and burning your insides from the friction. You felt like you were going to be split in half when he tugged higher your toes just skimming the floor but couldn't take any of your weight. "No-daddy please stop-it hurt's daddy!" He clicked his tongue and moved his hand that held your panties side to side rubbing on your little pucker making it throb painfully, you wasn't sure what was worse the panties crushing your mound and clit or the burn of your panties rubbing the sensitive skin on the inside of your cheeks. "Kick off your shoes" you obeyed hoping he would let you down afterwards, quickly flicking the shoes off but he didn't let you down he held you there making you wince and cry out in pain panting and hissing through your teeth fat tears streamed from your squinted eyes. "This is what happens, daddy doesn't want to have to go over this with you again, if he does I will hang you up by them on the coat pegs in the foyer for everyone to see a naughty baby's cunny get its just deserts" he threatened in a deep voice sending chills down your spine. You nodded agreeing to anything if it will make him set you down. You panted taking deep breaths between your whines and pleas slapping at the wall. Trying to stop your feet from scrabbling around for purchase, each movement made your weight rock on the uncomfortable hold he had. Henry smirked and lowered you slowly and sighed at he let your feet got back to the floor he held your panties taught still. "You will not wear these again without permission if you do I'm going display you and then give you the injection and you will have no need to have any panties at all ever understand?" You nodded crying into your hands just thankful you wasn't still being held up by your ass.

Henry smiled and let go, good now that was out of the way he could move on. He captured your hands at they crept back to peel the cotton from its wedgie position he slapped them just clipping your hands with his fingers creating a swift sting. "Leave it you wanted them on remember now face me and keep those hands on your head" you turned whimpering hands back on your head. Your stomach dropp at what he was holding, an adult pacifier locking into the center of a long lilac piece of leather. You cringed shaking your head as him whining. "Nooo! no ple-please daddy I'm not-I'm not a baby please!?" He just tilted his head at you as if to say 'really?' And moved forward holding the nub at your mouth the kept your mouth shut tight but he just huffed at your reluctance.

"Open or I will open it for you, you need to be reminded that your not a big girl...But you don't want to be a little girl either it seems so now you are a baby; my baby now open your mouth" you mewled and opened up a tiny bit not really sure you wanted to see how he'd open it for you. "Good girl~ You see daddy has decided you have spoken quiet enough for one day pet he doesn't want to hear you~" Henry smiled a wicked grin nodding to you and forced the large nuk into your mouth he chuckled watching you cringe as you got your first taste of the rubber, he chose this particular pacifier because of its size, large with an orthopedic tip that flattened out. It would pin your tongue down keeping your voice muffled and you'd sound just like a cute little baby girl! He gave a lopsided grin as he secured the gag around the back of your head watching you carefully as you eyes widened, ah there it was you really were getting a taste now. But the other plus with the tips size was it held quite a lot of fluid. You’d find in a few moments that the tip wasn't meant to be a murky golden color oh no.

That was the watered down vinegar and bitter lemon mix, not strong enough to burn your tongue but it tasted vile and the pin prick hole on the bottom would drip feed the concoction onto your taste buds, a fitting punishment for a tattle tale he thought.

"You will learn to keep your mouth shut after this pet" You pouted around the rubber in your mouth unused to the feel of your tongue being so restricted. Your eyes snapped open as you could taste something, sour and bitter it was...disgusting you whined shaking your head and gagged again as the bitter taste got worse you moved your tongue trying to escape the awful taste but soon found it was coming from the trapped rubber teet....It was being drip fed into your mouth coating your tongue. You spat trying to spit it out but is was to late as Henry had made sure it was firmly wedged between your teeth. "There she is just a little baby...A little naughty baby now go kneel on the sofa and put your head on the seat...Off you go... go on shoo" You cringed as he patted your bottom as the waddled slowly making your way over to the leather suite. It was slow going taking baby steps as each step made your ass and pussy rub against the trapped cotton. Henry didn't seem to mind trailing behind you probably admiring the view.

The journey was painful and pleasant all in one confusing messy of sensations, the thin fabric had slipped either side of your clit and pinned it tight to your pubic bone your steps made it move, the undies massaging the little bud from either side. By the time you got to the sofa you wasn't sure if the throbbing was from pain or not. You whined uncomfortably as you got into position slowly praying that he couldn't see the slight we spot you knew you left on the cotton, your pussy weeping slowly becoming needy. You tipped your head placing your forehead on the seat and looked at your legs. You squeaked as he came over and spread your knees so you could see him standing there just behind you. You whimpered embarrassed by having your undies still stuck so far up your hiney bending over had just made the material press tighter on your pussy your clit felt bruised throbbing and alive. Through the pain and humiliation you felt it, your arousal body coming to life under his harsh treatment. The beginnings of humiliation on a completely different level, you bit your lip trying to will away the sensations but it was hard. You turned your face to the side and wept. "Aww whats wrong little one I thought you wanted them on? You want daddy to take them off now baby girl?" He smoothed his hands over your back as he taunted you pulling at the loose fabric that hung over your lower back. "I-it hur-tss daddy! I'm my...Its ssore daddy Pl-pleasse take them off daddy pleasse" you begged around the bitter plastic in you mouth you flushed as your words came out distorted like a baby you had a lissp and just like a baby you were dribbling all over your chin you tried sucking it up but it just made more of the disgusting taste from the paci seep into your mouth closing your eyes as you wept quietly into the leather sofa "Aww baby whats sore? Your little clit? Hmm is it pinching? Or is your pucker thats sore?" You bit your paci and nodded squirming and pressing back trying to ease the tension. "B-BO-FTH DADDY! BOFTH...it's ss-sore pleasse pleasse! I don't like it!" He smirked and moved his hands over your back then down chuckling as he went. You grimaced as he pried apart your cheeks whistling low running his thumbs along the inner skin of your cheeks making you whine your holes twitching. Your pussy muscles coiling around itself empty and unsatisfied you groaned feeling another small rush of arousal coat the cloth stuffed against the wanton hole. "Ah ah! No chewing your pacifier~ if that nub comes off my little baby might swallow it and choke.....Now lets see about these panties....Oh my they have gone quite high haven't they baby?... Panties aren't as good an idea as you thought? Are they my little love?.... But no, daddy will not take them off yet. Your going to get your spanking with them right wear they are and when I do finally pull them off trust me you'll wish they were there to protect your little pucker." You sobbed shaking slapping at the leather weakly tears dripping down your face joining the spittal that covered your cheeks smearing around the guard of the pacifier. You peaked through your legs as he moved stepping back releasing your cheeks letting them snap back into place you hissed the action made the cotton move again clenching tight in instinct trying to push away the discomfort. Henry moved the few feet over the room to the implements he had brought down, he had chosen the most severe your punishment wouldn't be long, he could easily split skin with some of these. No it wouldn't be long but it would be effective, you will learn that pain is not the worse of punishments no, now humiliation that was a very effective tool. And to top it off he wasn't going to restrain you, you would hold position or he would start again. He smirked picking up his first choice, a tawse. Painful and biting it left deep red welts that lasted days you'd be a very sore baby. He would have to be careful no more then ten he ha decided this implement was very unforgiving and with the others he planned to use today he didn't want to over do it. You quivered staying as still as you could knowing that anything you did out of turn would make him even angrier. You held your shuddering breaths cringing as you almost blew bubbles in your own saliva as he approched...What is that? What the fuck is that!? You almost jumped up when he stopped a breah away from you, the long strip was tucked out of sight but you knew what you saw that was a strap or-or a belt!

Henry could feel your panic and placed the tawse on your bare back letting you take a few guesses at what it was. You trembled panting panicking he frowned, he wanted you on edge, frightened not panicked and nearly passing out. He sighed and picked deciding it was best to ease some of your worries he moved it up letting it fall with a resounding slap on the leather by your side

"Look...Now this~ is your tawse but daddy will be calling it your strap, it stings and has a very nasty bite...you will get ten and then we will move on daddy has a few things he wants to make clear in this little correction, not everything is fixed with a spanking." You whimpered shifting as you turned to look at the long implement of your own doom. It was long about fourteen the fifteen inches long, about six of them was a flat sturdy handle the rest well, it was a strap long and flexible made of durable old leather. Despite looking old it was well maintained shiny like it had been oiled recently. The strap itself was two inches wide a small long v cut from the tip down to the handle, it'd swing faster. You couldn't explain the dread as he picked it up quickly looking between your legs seeing him ready himself.

"Count...You can do that cant you baby? Count to ten that’s how many daddy wants to give you... but its really up to you, being the big girl you tried to be daddy will let you decide....If you move-If you can't hold still then daddy will start all over~ So I should hope you do stay still as daddy doesn't want to be here all evening remember no biting that paci either~" you squirmed shuddering with new cries terrified.

You heard the movement, the swish as the strap cut through the air. Then he slap it was loud and sounded viscous...almost as viscous as it felt. You rocked forward and screamed high around the rubber the hit had been high on your rump and most hit the panties that gave no protection what so ever.

"Count Baby what was that?" You heaved deep breaths in shock of jus how bad that stung.

"One! It-I daddy I can’t pleassse Itss bad!" You sobbed digging your nails into the lather suite moving side to side.

"I’m sure it is but baby I can see your wet little pussy~ so it cant be to bad can it my love now ready? Daddy wants this over with, you have this and one more spanking and if your god daddy will make you feel better afterwards now straighten up the next few will be faster" you groaned catching your breath barely as he moved striking you in three quick consecutive slaps each lower then the one before. You called out the numbers two three and four screaming and bucking rocking wanting to get away but didn't want to start over, your cheek hotter than ever, the burn was extreme. You could feel the welts rise in an almost pins and needles tingle that remained. You kicked your foot up and through your hands back.

"No nonono DADDY PLEASSSEE I CANT STOP PLEASE" he simply moved your hands away.

"Well don't do the crime if you can't do the time...haha well that applies to you anyway...Now put those hands down...Now little one....In fact place them under your head...That’s it like that if I hit your fingers I could break one now you stay right there!"you whimpered putting your hands under your forehead as he waited he tugged the panties up a little more ad smiled

"Oh baby? Look a little wet spot? Are you excited? Its very cute that even when I’m spanking your naughty little bottom you still want me~" you whined as he peppered another four strikes up and down the legnth of your ass and thighs the same stinging lighting a fire on your skin.

"Noo Da-ddYYY SSTOP!" You cried harder almost choking on the pacifier. Humiliated that your pussy clenched with each hit making you cringe knowing he was looking, you could feel his eyes on it. You wailed as loud as you could with the rubber teet in your mouth every movement and sound making your mouth flood with the nasty taste that was still dribbling out onto your tongue making you cough as it went down your throat forcing you to swallow and suckle more out a nasty cycle. Henry grunted as you got louder kicking your feet before screaming as he landed another harder strike.

"Stop that noise this instant!! Honestly screaming the house down because you ended up having a well earned spanking....You know to damn well deserve it little one!" Henry's scold made you quiet down more out of fear of making him start again then actual obedience. "Two more than we are done with your strap... The final two fell and you sobbed into the leather below you adding to the puddle of dribble and tears that had formed already. He sighed rubbing your back moving his hand down to your still wedged undies and tugged slowly you sighed in relief as he pulled the trapped cotton from your ass quickly threading your legs out of the cotton with ease.

"Thank you, thank you daddy!" You sobbed Henry hissed a breath looking at your blistered ass the welts were bright and thin littering you ass in clean sweeps he could count the number of strikes he had dealt. He pressed a palm you them. You leand forward trying to rock away but he didn't let you instead rubbed softly barely grazing the strikes. "Tch Shh shh I know little one you are being a good girl... That’s it love all done see daddy hasn't got your strap now he put it away~....So so brave, brave little baby girl....But you need to learn your not Your not all grown up are you? Say it...come on tell daddy" you flushed at his words but moved to look up at him. He had nothing in his hand he moved to stand behind the sofa letting you sit up on your knees to see him.

"I'm a-a little gi-girl...A bad litt-le girl daddy!-I'm bad! I'm sorry!" He chuckled at the despair in your voice he moved forward kissing your head wiping at your tears he smiled when you moved nuzzling him sweetly trying to savor the affection. "No baby no your not bad...you were naughty and your nearly all finished...But daddy is happy that you understand your not grown up...Your not a big girl... you are a horny little one though whats all this?~" You shivered as he moved around you again holding out his hand glistening from the arousal on them. You flushed at him and moved your face away whining he chuckled wiling the fingers on your back and stepped away. "We will deal with that after this baby girl now spread your legs a bit wider...Come on now don't play up now when we are soo close to finishing my love...That’s it good girl I promise you behave just a little while longer and daddy will help with your little tingles" you flushed at the matter of fact way he had blurted it out. You spread your legs and not a few seconds later his hand appeared placing a small decorative bronze pot under your spread aching legs.

"Da-daddy? Whats? What are you-" you frowned as he disappeared from behind you making his way around the sofa as he spoke.

"Shh love this is just incase you make a mess you'll see now hold still you'll get ten on your little pucker and that's all your spankies out of the way and then we can move on, daddy will give you a little reward for being such a sweet baby and doing as your told and you can tell daddy exactly how you betrayed him~" you looked up at him over the back of the sofa blinking at him then frowned not sure you heard him, he was going to strike your actual asshole? He couldn't mean it could he? You shifted your eye to the long slim crop knowing he definitely meant it. You panicked as shifted starting to plead with him not wanting to go through something that sounded to painful. "NO NO PLE-PLEASE DA-DADDY I DONT WANT- I'D NEVER-" You jolted but he was ready quick to capture your jaw and pull you towards him and the back off the sofa straddling the bronze pot. "Oh no little one...Daddy has to know to teach you a lesson because daddy loves you...He loves his little one so much...And because I love you I have to teach you these hard lessons...Its for your own good" You moved back but he moved holding your jaw lightly moving tucking the tip of his thumb under the pacifier sheild running over your wet lip pressing up ton the tiny sliver of teet you whined as he action squirted the last few drops of the nasty mixture from it onto your tongue he smiled and shushed you. "That's it baby I know...I know its scary but I'm not going to be to hard on you..I promise just this then your punishment is over and you can have a reward for being such a good girl...Does that sound nice yeah?...Yes I know and we can get this icky paci out and clean you up" You moaned pitifully nodding resigning yourself to his final punishment praying he kept his word and wouldn't hit you as hard as he had with the tawse you don't think you could stand it

"That’s it good girl stay down...Your being so good, such a good girl just ten baby girl and you wont have to count...That’s it back down stay still"you crouched down he wasted no time swinging the crop making the end flick across your ass just clipping he tight ring of muscle, you could tel it was more of a wrist flick than a full blown swing but it was enough. You jolted up again trying to close your legs but couldn't with the bowl sat between them. Henry sighed capturing the back of your neck and pressed down keeping you bent your head on the back of the seat.

"Stay still love nine more...Just nine then its all over" you shook your head at him heaving deep breaths groaning and mewling as your ass burned that was torture you never realize just how tender it could be you felt the ring of muscle contracting against the sting that lingered.

"Now now you asked for this~ you disobeyed your daddy...I did warn you last time I had gone easy on you this time you are not as lucky now nine more" he moved quickly flicking the crop across your pucker then moved making it curl around to your front. You whined bucking away terror struck you as you quickly felt the need to go realizing suddenly why he had placed the bowl under you, it wasn't a bowl it was a chamber pot, you shook as he struck the same way again making that terrible feeling grow you couldn't even protest. A harder strike landed just on your pucker then another even harder well placed strike. You cringed trying desperately to hold it but it was difficult each strike made you buck and tense your stomach contracting placing more pressure on your bladder. One final vicious sounding snap of the crop was all it took you cried out sobbing loudly as you began peeing into the pot below you.

Henry stopped at the sound mission accomplished. He wanted to show you how much of a little girl you really were, to humiliate you and show you just how small you were and how much control he could have over you if he wanted. He grinned looking down as you sobbed embarrassed and heart broken he moved tilting your head up to face him, eye contact was key here you couldn't forget he was here watching listening he shook his head tutting. "Oh whats this? Oh I thought you were daddy’s big girl? I thought you wanted to be a big girl from the way you went and spoke to those officers....Daddy thought his little girl was all grown up! And could handle her spanking?....But no your not a big girl are you? Big girls don't wet themselves" you cried out in pain and humiliation as once the trickle started you couldn't stop, you cringed looking down as your peed into the small chamber pot he had tucked below you. You squinted your eyes shut trying to remove yourself wanting to ignore your surroundings but it was hard you could hear your humiliation as you continued to empty your bladder into the pot. Henry smiled at your discomfort he knew this would happen, fuck he planned for it to happen many subs couldn't handle there bladders when struck so precise on their little pucker's... Especially on their firs asshole whipping. "Oh baby look you must really needed to go? no self control at all huh baby...Maybe your not a little girl? maybe you are a baby?" you pouted and whined shaking your head and gagged again as the bitter taste was still being drip fed into your mouth coating your tongue this was something altogether different just knowing he saw you peeing was mortifying a punishment in itself, you cried out pitifully. "See! Your just a silly little baby can't even ask to use the potty~ such an embarrassing little girl!...Hold on daddy has some we wipes to clean up his little one stay" you shuddered sniffling in and whining when you left him come back behind you taking away the now quater full chamber pot. You hissed as he moved a cool wet wipe over your folds but he didn't top there moving up and down cleaning your arousal from your labia making sure to be thorough. "Oh sweety that was only seven! But you did have an accident so daddy will let you off the other three... wouldn't want you to wet yourself again would we?" You sniffled ashamed nodding as he Continued to wipe around your privates then threw the wipes away out of sight. And walked back behind his desk taking a seat deciding to give you a few moments smiling when you stayed perfectly still. A good obedient girl who knew her place, waiting for him to give the okay for you to move. As it should be.

Henry twisted in the seat staring at your down turned head the way you curled up on the sofa embarrassed and heartbroken you were a very sorry little girl as you should be!. He rolled his fingers flexing them leaning his elbow on the desk watching your body shudder from the shock of his rough punishment...A part of him...A very cruel sinister part wanted to leave you there alone in your despair to deal with the aftermath by yourself. Make you beg him, realize you needed not just his love and his comfort but also his permission...But he couldn't, he loved you despite what you'd done, despite how hard you'd just made things he couldn't leave you alone in this state no self respecting daddy forgoes aftercare not even for the worst offenses.Sighing he rounded his desk pouring himself a scotch he felt better but was still on edge. Once the crystal tumbler was half full he walked to the leather sofa placing it on the table beside it stepping over the chamber pot he'd covered and left by the desk out of sight. You shivered and whined hoarsely as he shifted you ,you wriggled wanting to be left alone but he wouldn't let you.You wept sorrowfully as he patted your bottom again and tipped you up sitting on the sofa beside you quickly seating you on his thick thighs you hissed at the friction of your welts on his soft trousers hiccuping. He tilted you bak a little one arm around your back holding one of your arms drawing small circles on your skin pulling goosebumps. One hand unbuckled the pacifier letting it fall to the floor and he wiped across your mouth cleaning you up with his disguarded sweater you'd been wearing. "Shush...That's it such a good girl its all over now all over love now can daddy have a peek? I know I caught your little pussy my love let me see....Come on baby girl open up... That’s it good baby" you let him pry your thighs apart the hand that was on your arm now holding your still quivering thigh. You blushed and whined when he lowered his head to look. Henry bit his lip he really had caught you, no wonder you were squirming and crying as you were. You were red and swollen, the hood of your clit supported a red outline of the crop. There was no cuts or grazes though which was good he moved his fingers prodding at you. Despite your wailing you had found some pleasure in the ordeal...He would have to explore this little masochistic side of yours at a later date for now he would reward your good behavior. "Not to bad darling, its not to bad a little pink but its hard to see around all your mess! Look huh? Your reward wont take long love" you shook your head trying to clamp your legs shut having had just about enough. He chuckled as you tried fighting his hold. "No no! Now come on baby...you earned it being so good for daddy and taking your punishment like a good little girl!" He maneuvered you holding you open you panted at him as you felt the cool air on both holes again. Your pussy was alive twitching trying to find something to latch on to. You jolted when his other hand moved to you clit holding a standalone rabbit ear clit simulator, it was tucked in his hand snugly. "No no ple-PLEASE IT'S SOOOORREE no no no no! I can’t da-daddy pleas i want a nap no nooo" he shook his head ignoring you and smiled placing the soft rubber to your erect throbbing clit and pressed it on you bucked yelping not realizing just how aroused you were it must have been lost in the stinging and heat! Only now just noticing the state you were in horny, hot, sweaty and panting. You rocked against his hand as he held the small powerful device a tight on you.He chuckled again kissing at your neck as you through your head back one hand fisted in his shirt the other on the wist prying you open for him. You whined curling up as he clicked it up a notch and made just the tips graze the tender hood of your clit. "AhAH NO-DADDY FUCK PLEASE fuckfuckfcuk NO IT HURTS DADDY TAKE IT OFF! IM NOT NOO!" You panted harder moaning letting your head fall back looking up at him moaning trying not to buck or grind as it hurt your stinging ass. "Thats a lot of adult words for such a sweet baby~" he taunted and began running the ears across your folds moving so you don't have to. He twisted his hand managing to somehow plunge three fingers in to you and balance the toy his thumb poised at the button.You grunted gasping mouth agape looking at him pitifully trying to chase your end that was building. You loved and hated the feeling all at once. His finger moved in individual rhythms twisting and curling this way and that stretching you. Drawing patterns on your insides avoiding that one spot he knew you needed him, you mewled quietly as he lowered his head mouth just above yours staring at your glazed eyes as he growled working your pussy for all its worth. He opened his mouth and laughed breathing you in.

"Come on love~ so good be a good girl and cum I know you want to~" you moaned and moved tucking your head in the crook of his neck as your walls clenched wanting to keep him inside as all costs. Your indies felt like they were being treated to a Pampering as his finger pads stroked them making your nerves buzz under his perfected ministrations. You mewled loudly into his eck as he finally relented twirling his fingers inside you rubbing your spot harshly forcing you to tighten around him you yelped and twitched curling your abdomen as you trembled his finger moving firmer and firmer circling and tapping as he thrusted into you the sloppy sounds made you flush and whine again gasping as your body shuddered uncontrollably you could feel it. Just with in your grasp! Our insides were hot and wet twisting around his fingers as they moved faster slapping the vibrator against your clit with each deep determined thrust.

"Ah AH AH FUCK-YES PLEASSSEE-I DADDY!?" you fisted your hands in shirt turning to clutch at him bucking trying to ride his fingers. Your ass burned and your insides twitched. You grinded faster grunting at him when he flicked the vibrator higher that was it! You burst comming undone on a loud moaming and withering. "DADDY!~ AH FUCK FUUUCK PLEASE DADDY UGH YES ITS -so good so-thank you thank you daddy I’m sorry! Im sorry I didn’t it wasn’t-" Henry just held you removing his now drenched fingers, youd cum hard. He could feel your body go slak cagainst him s oothing your hair back kissing your cheek and neck.

"Thats it my precious girl~...my good baby , perfect little one its all done....thats it all done my love so good" you wept into him eve rything catching up to you you hugged his neck breathing him in just hopeing he now forgave you, calmed down enough to listen not that you thought you could say much you were just to messed up. He held you for what felt like hours rocking and shushing you.

"I-Im sorry but I really didn’t tell on you daddy...I really didnt i wouldnt...I love it here...even when you...do this i feel good after...better" Henry held his breath for a few seconds and smiled. He kissed your head and wiped your tear stained face.

"Do-do you forgive me daddy?" Henry took a deep breath and didnt answer that made your heart clench your tears coming back how you had any left to cry was a mystery to you. You placed your hands over your face and sobbed. He didnt he still hated you, he would find out what you said and throw you out you just knew it!. Henry noticed his mistake to late as you broke down in his lap again, he moved to pull your hands away from your face but you jerked shrugging him off. He frowned and pulled this time using his strength removing your hands his blood ran cold at your devestated face. You struggled to make him releas you but he didnt only held you tighted "Now now little one shh its okay...i do forgive you i love you -hey enough of that don't be so stubborn...Daddy forgives you will make it better...Shh shh you took your punishment very well...Now come up sit up for daddy" you wept not believing him as he tilted you cradling you to him. You grabbed his shirt crying harder hiccupping still a sorry mess your body throbbed you were exhausted and your nerves were shot. And your mouth still had that vile bitter taste. "D-Daddy I'm-I'm sorry so-o sorry daddy please- don't leave! Dont throw me out please i dont i want tobe here with you! I didn't he told me to! He-he pushed me...told them I knew!" you babbled still frantic trying to calm down Henry rose a brow "What baby zIm not...is that what this is about oh honey im not going anywhere and im not getting rid of you love.....okay? Your here with me and everything is all better but i need you to tell me exactly what happened Who pushed you baby? Hey hey shush thats it baby doll who told you- what did they tell you?" You sniffled loo,ing at him for a few seconds and took some deep breaths still jnsure of where you stood but you had to talk, to help him you could fix this, you could. "L-Luke...He he sai-d that you needed m-me...That I wa-as going to prison with you!" Henry growled and you flinched away again but he was quick to console you stroking your hair you were still shivering and trembling...probably getting cold now. He moved pulling a small fluffy throw he kept in here for you and wrapped it around your shoulders concealing you completly in the heavy blanket. He rubbed your arm lightly trying to encourage you. He moved his drink to your lips. "Come on a small sip...Thats it good girl..haha oh I know its strong huh? shh thats it now daddy needs you to tell him what Luke said to you princess" you looked up at him and shook your head as another wave of tears started and you tuccked into him leaning your weight on him resting your head at his heart letting the soft thumping sooth you. "Hey hey its okay little one...You can tell daddy...Daddy isn't mad anymore he just wants to know what was said...You can do it your such a good baby...I need to know were you plotting against me?" You looked up at him through your tears shocked and gasping your heart shattered at the broken look on his face cracking his gaze was so defeated another wave of panic washed over you.No he can't you have to tell him! tears fell as you shook your head. "I-I didnt! I swear daddy I didn't say anything! They wanted me to make a statment..She recognized me! Luke told her daddy! I didn't have a choice-" Henry growled moving the drink to his mouth taking a long sip the plced it on the side table with a soft thump. Yhen with a loud intact of breath he began speaking irritated and exasperated. "And you know what? He wouldn't have if you'd been here at home like daddy told you! would he baby? noo you wouldnt have been in this situation now if you'd just been a good girl!" You wriggled back whimpering quivering at his dissapointed tone feeling scared and small. You clutched at him worried he was starting to get all wound up at you again. "Now..What else happened now that your calmed down I can make sense of it all" he lifted you perching you on his knees, for a second he smiled at you naked and quivering wrapped in the throw, your red tears stained face and guilty pouting expression made you look the part of a very well punished little girl. He moved his hands across you gently rubbing you trying to ease your tight acheing muscles. "I-I Luke..he said I'd need to be there!" Henry frowned "What did he say love? I don't think you'd fall for just that" "Af-after they took you away...Said you were going to prison...That I'd go to prison to....he said that they had something big and-and that I needed to make a statement, tell them about Stephan last night or you'd be put away...And-and to pay bail money!" He hummed tucking your hair behind your ears and froze moving his fingertips down your jaw lightly frowning. Bail money? "Bail money? baby I didn't need bail..They I wasn't arrested my sweet girl" "I didn't know that till he got me there! I didn't-please daddy he made me! He said I didn't have a choice! That you were arrested and if I didn't come pay the money I'd never see you again!..He scared me! he was mean! He called me names to making me cry- a-a sexy doll and slut! and-and when I was upset he started saying I'd go to prison to cos I'm your girlfreind! thats all that's why I came there! He said I had to...To save you!...That you needed me..."Henry eyed you carefully and tilted your face up again you were determined to avoid his gaze and he didn't like it. But then again he didn't like the fact he had jumped the gun and wailed on you before hearing you out you either. Yes he stood by his punishment....Well some of it you should have stayed here. But maybe you didn't deserve such humiliation, it was a god send you were now telling him everything after what he had just put you through. He motioned for you to continue wanting you to explain. "He-he wanted me to...Tell them...About how I got here...He didn't say it...But thats what he meant...and then he told the police i wanted to tell on you..i didnt i realized then and just wanted to wait in the car...Luke pushed me to go with her to that room" Henry hummed he believed you it wasnt hard, Luke wanted a way out, and the man didn't like you one bit hed have no qualms about sacrificing you to save his own skin. But it was risky pinning all his hopes on you and fucking stupid did he really think you wouldn't tell your daddy what luke had been up to? could Luke really be that stupid? Henry cursed watching the tears fall from your eyes and you trembled. "Please-please daddy you have to belive me I'd never- I don't want to leave...I don't want you to leave me daddy please..." though pitiful as your pleas did sound sincere henry felt a deep pit forming in his stomach. he had just put you through hell, he made you fucking piss yourself! and used the most painfull of his arsenal. He felt like a right cunt!

"Shh Shh it's alright baby...Daddy believes you daddy believes you baby girl....He frightened you into going in? So Luke's trying to set me up now? Along with Stephan heh... You sure your not going to join them pet?" He meant it as a joke but your reaction was instant You shook your head holding your tender neck smoothing your cool fingers over it. "No...Stephan wants me to go down to...Luke said he is bitter...Stephan knows I slept with you last night" you mumbled slowly wanting hims to believe you, you needed him to believe you, to understand you were helping him! He looked up confused he began rubbing the back of your neck his warm palm helping eamse. the pain his other hand rose and scratched your scalp slowly letting you move your head angling it to get his hand where you wanted it at the side of your head. "What was that love?" you hummed twisting your head again as his strong fingers massaged your scalp harder in slow circles making your tension headache fade. You licked your lips before starting to explain to him what had been said. "Luke told me Stephan knows about us..That he was angry when they dropped him off..Was really mad- should I not have known daddy?" Henry cursed and chuckled shaking his head fucking unbelievable. You flinched as Henry moved collecting you in his arms again holding you tight kissing your head breathing you in.Henry was quickly starting piece everything together, it wasn't Stephan... Well not really it was Luke manipulating everone trying to play in a kings game!. Your whimperes pulled him out of his thoughts and he spoke soothing you. "No it isn't that....Babygirl I just I know whats going on Luke told him about us...Luke provoked Stephan and You... He was using you both...He was counting on you telling them everything...I?- did you? Tell them everything?" you cringed at how uncertified he sounded he small his voice ended up being, it made you feel uncomfortable. You shook your head smileing at him shyly. "No-no daddy I didn't, I said that Stephan came to the restaurant, that he is an ex who can't get over me and has a grudge against you...And that I didn't go missing I found out Stephan was using me to left cos I was scared of him and you offered me a place to stay...And...And that I-I'm in love with you.." Henry blinked sighing flopping back into the seat with a sigh maybe you did help him then. If you could both make it out to be a jealous ex lover it'd explain your sudden disappearance and why Stephan was so determined to pin this on him. "Anything else? I need to know" you twiddled your fingers at him and nodded feeling slightly embarassed but you knew he had to know...It's just...how was he going to handle you telling the police about your sex life? you flushed just remebering it, it had been so fast you hadn't really tought about the fact they now knew that you got tied up and spanked. Henry furrowed his brows at you as he watched you go pink...What the fuck had you said? "Th-they want me to testify... About Stephan....They took the statement about what happened last night...And after that she- the lady tried to say you'd have done..What ever they think you did, once we got home I said you couldn't have cos...Well you never leave me alone in a scene...She didn't understand so I had to tell her...A-About the err BDSM thingy... She carried on saying youd have left when i was asleep and ...I had to say something...So I told her...I said that you couldn't have slipped away during the night cos err... well i kind of said you slept erm in-inside me so...I'd know if you...yeah" Henry grunted trying to bite back a chuckle as you flushed brighter. "Cockwarming? Thanks for that....How'd you even? Do you? Do you want to try that baby doll? Want daddy to keep you full all night?" you flushed brighter he chuckled relaxing feeling much better he didn't think you had dropped him in it..Not yet anyway but he would have to keep you on a very short leash they would take this to court its the closest they have come to getting him. he sighed into your hair kissing your head again, you hadn't handed him in, and Luke... Yes it made sense Luke would have known that he didn't need bail but you wouldn't, it would make sense to you you didn't know any better. Just that alone made him believe you. He moved forward making you squeak and hold him tight as he heaved you up in to his arms and stood moving the blanket to cover your form and keep you warm then made for the bedroom wanting to give you a shower and put you down for a bed. An early night was what you needed now after a day like today.

Henry smiled looking at you curled up in the bed, you'd been good letting him take control and look after you. You'd only whimpered when he was washing you as he moved across your swollen bruises and welts he'd left across you. He felt guilty but what's done is done. He can't take it back no matter how much he wanted to, he tried making it up to you by lathering each and every mark with kisses as he massaged lotion into your damp skin afterwards, being careful to rub away your tension it was that; that had sent you off to sleep and somehow he had dressed you in fussy pajamas and tucked you in whilst you were in a deep sleep. He was happy even in his guilt, he would admit he jumped the gun but he now had a new target.

One that had no idea he was coming for him, one who had a very high price to pay, no one upset his baby girl, no one scared her. He couldn't tell if he was more angry over the fact Henry himself had missed the signs or if he was angry over the fact he had taken it out on his little girl before letting her explain.

Once he was sure you'd be safe and sound up here he moved to the side whistling in a high pitch through the house hearing the tapping of claws. Kal climbed the stairs panting happily making him smile at the bear. "Kal come on you lazy boy time to earn your keep...In" he motioned the dog to enter the bedroom with a flick of his head, the akita followed Henry's instructions and entered the room then turned to look at him as if to say 'now what?' Henry reached out ruffling his ears and scratched the dogs muzzle before moving cupping Kals chin making him look at him. "Now you look after your mother....You keep her safe boy understand?...Good now go give her snuggles she needs a bear hug" kal gave a quiet 'boof' then got up and pounce onto the bed curling up between you and the door making Henry grin before closing the door. Once in the hall he took a breath and locked the door, no one was getting in tonight. He did one final check making sure his knife and gun were both concealed once satisfied he pulled the tight fitting suit jacket around his abdomen and fastened the button then began walking, his polished shoes echoing off the floor he tried to be well dressed when being out on business, he pulled his phone from his pocket as he made his way down the stairs. "Hello Liam how would you like a promotion? oh you would? great meet me down at Pearls..Bring Luke...Oh your there already? enjoying the new girls I take it?...Theres no need to thank me...And Luke's there to? Excellent Keep him there I will be with you very shortly!" he hung up grinning tonight was going to be very smooth and clean by the sounds of it. It was time to take care of a rat.

#mob boss henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill is daddy

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seijch · 4 years ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago

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deja vu bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

christmas request info can be found here

prompts:

"How long has it been since you've slept." "I heard you scream. Nightmares again?" "Hold my hand. You're going to be fine."

Song: mirrors by pvris

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

i walked through the lounge, looking to all the men and women working on the renovations to the compound. i sipped my coffee and leaned my back into the counter, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. it had been a long few months since id been recruited and things werent exactly easier. i of course was a new hero, pushed onto the team after the untimely demise of one tony stark but we were making it worth it. i had made pretty good friends with bucky after all and everyone said that was hard to do. but then again maybe it was something more.

when i opened my eyes i saw him through the window, taking his morning jog around the building. he had done it everyday since id arrived and he said hed do it everyday until he left again. he had told me at one point though that he was waiting to head back to Wakanda, whatever that meant. all i knew was i got to spend every day with him, training as well as relaxing, amongst a few other things.

he was a smooth talker after all and we often found ourselves flirting over dinner, making the other recruits practically sick. it was a nice change of pace though, id finally found someone with as silver a tongue as myself. it helped for other activities though. i smirked to myself at the thought. when i turned back around to set my cup on the island i jumped, bucky standing on the other side staring at me.

"jesus buck, you gave me a heart attack."

i said, clutching my chest and he laughed, sipping his own coffee, looking at me over the edge of the mug.

"we both know thats a lie."

he said slyly, setting the mug down on the counter. i shook my head, leaning in and resting my weight against my elbows.

"we still on for tonight?"

i said with a wink and he smirked at me.

"arent we always?"

he quipped back and i couldnt help the smile creeping its way to my face. when clint walked in i heard him groan. he had decided to come back every few days to check on training progress and to make sure the renovations were going to plan.

"oh god, not you two."

he said, pouring his own coffee. i laughed, taking a sip.

"is there a problem officer?"

i asked and he sent me a testing look.

"no but i wont be staying, i wouldn't want to impose on whatever this is."

he said, motioning between us.

"How long has it been since you two have slept?"

he grumbled into his mug before leaving promptly. i turned back to bucky who winked at me. the thing is, ever since we'd started training, a spark was shot off and we keep finding ourselves together in bed. even if it is just for a round or two and never a full night. we hadnt committed to anything even close to that yet. that was okay with me though.

"my room or yours?"

i asked, biting my lip gently and i could hear him groan low in his throat.

"definitely yours, if i can wait that long."

he said almost annoyed with himself before strutting back out of the kitchen. i smiled widely, standing back up and returning to my position to watch the magic happen.

°°°°°°°°°

i laid in bed on my stomach and played with the ties on my silk robe. i had been waiting for bucky for what felt like forever and it was starting to get late. surely he didnt forget we were supposed to be doing something, he never forgot. i sighed as i rolled onto my back, worry starting to set in. i sat up quickly and walked around my bed, slipping my panties back on and tightening my robe. i looked to my phone before putting it in my pocket, it was already midnight and everyone else was asleep by now, those that were here at least.

i walked slowly down the dark hallway, side stepping the roomba-like creatures as they cleaned the floors. i drew my brows, not seeing a light coming from buckys room. did he fall alseep on me? even after he expressed his excitement? i almost felt offended. i crossed my arms over my chest before i heard him making sound from the other side of the door. i drew my brows, hearing him whine. i could almost make out soft 'no's. then i heard him scream. i tried the doorknob first but it was locked. then i started banging on the door.

"bucky?"

i called but no answer. i hit the door again.

"buck!"

i yelled but nothing.

"im coming in."

i said sternly, standing back and kicking the door open. everything was dark aside from the red glow of his alarm clock. i saw him stir against his pillows; he was still fully dressed, shoes and everything. he must've fallen asleep.

"no, no, get away from me."

i heard him mumble, his hand opening and closing a few times as he curled into a ball. it almost broke me seeing him like that. i stepped forward slowly.

"bucky?"

i said softly, touching his shoulder. a second later he snapped out of it, sitting upright and clutching my throat. he had the angriest look on his face like he was under some kind of spell. i gasped as i felt my feet leave the floor, reaching one hand to touch his face even at the distance we were at. as soon as i got contact all his memories flooded my mind as i absorbed them, seeing all the torture and pain they had caused him. this is what he was dreaming about. i clutched and scraped at the metal with my other hand before he realized what was happening and dropping me. i fell to the floor, couching up a storm and feeling the tears flowing down my face.

"oh my god, y/n, im so sorry."

he said, touching my back ever so gingerly.

"im so sorry."

he repeated, backing up. i finally caught my breath, placing both hands on the floor in front of me as i knelt down.

"buck."

i croaked out, reaching for him.

"im sorry."

he said again, helping me to the bed. he clicked the light on, making me blink hard against it.

"are you okay?"

he said a little broken and i nodded. then he gasped, standing quickly and walking backwards until he hit the wall. he covered his mouth and shook his head.

"whats wrong?"

i asked, standing and stepping slowly to him like you would a wounded animal.

"i hurt you."

i shook my head as he started huffing, trying not to cry. i grabbed his hand in mine and he tried to pull away. but i persisted.

"bucky look at me, you did not hurt me. i am fine. please just Hold my hand so i can show you."

he gave in slowly and i pulled him back to the bed with me.

"I heard you scream. is it the Nightmares again?"

he nodded slowly, looking to the ground.

"i thought they had gone."

he confessed, closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands. i rubbed his back slowly.

"You're going to be fine buck."

he looked over at me with sad eyes and i could see tears starting to form behind them.

"but i hurt you, how can i come back from that?"

i shook my head.

"bucky ill live, maybe with some bruising for a while but im still here. and i still trust you. you were doing so good and doing so much better. you said they were gone after all, at least until now."

he sighed.

"i guess i just had a moment of weakness. my best friend left me again and i just lived through another war."

he confessed and i pulled him in to hug me, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. he stiffened under my touch like he was worried hed hurt me again but i understood why. he was scared. hell, so was i.

"you are always allowed to have moments of weakness buck, especially if your dreams look like that."

i said and he pulled away, eyes wide.

"you saw them."

he said in realization and i nodded.

"yeah, i did see them."

i said and he shook his head, a tear finally escaping down his cheek and into his beard.

"im so sorry."

he said, his voice breaking as he began to cry.

"buck."

i said, pulling him back into me and hugging him tightly.

"you dont deserve my demons."

he said shakily, finally wrapping his arms around me. i pet his hair softly,

"maybe not, but they help me understand you and im thankful that i can."

i said just above a whisper, feeling him shake against me. i closed my eyes as we sat in silence. there was a million things i could say but none of them seemed right just yet so i decided against all of them. at the very least he could be vulnerable for a moment, even if it was just a moment. i liked that he could trust me enough to do this though. i sighed heavily, scratching at the back of his neck when i heard him sniffle.

"thank you."

he said softly, pulling away. in front of me was a broken man but i finally understood him as a person.

"you never have to thank me buck."

i said and he shook his head, wiping his face with his shirt sleeve.

"i know we arent exactly like that but i want you to know that i love you."

my eyes went wide.

"of course you dont have to say it back but i want you to know its true. we've been with each other for months and its only now im realizing how much i actually care for you and i just needed you to know that."

he said and i sent him a small smile, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. i could taste the salty tears against his lips and his face hot and flush against my cold finger tips. when i pulled away he finally smiled back.

"i love you too buck."

#wattpad #x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #white wolf #marvel #avengers #imagines #one shots #290

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scornedlove · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Twenty-Six

ROBYN

”What now” I groaned, putting out the blunt I was smoking to answer the door. I just poured my second glass of Moscato, and was about to get comfortable on the couch, but apparently I wasn't gonna get any peace today. After all this drama, I just wanted a moment and a blunt to myself. Before opening the door, I looked out the peep hole and was the least bit surprised when I realized who it was.

“What is it Dre?” I asked, cracking the door enough to see his face.

“If that mother fucker comes back, you need to get a restraining order on him!” he commanded, inviting himself in. I figured he'd be upset, but not enough to come back.

“I appreciate you looking out for me, but don’t do that again. Why are you here?”

“To make sure you’re okay. He ain’t putting his hands on you is he?”

“No, he ain’t crazy. It really wasn't that serious, I'm fine.” I rolled my eyes before sparking the blunt back up. I took a long drag and blew a cloud in his direction, knowing how much he hated when I smoked. Maybe he'd take the hint and dismiss himself.

“Fuck that. It is that serious. You don’t see what he’s doing to your mental health, but I do. You stay high or drunk, trying to mask whatever hurt you won’t let go. Which obviously isn’t working. If you keep fucking with him you’re going to continue to go downhill. I promise you, if I see him over here again, I’m kicking his ass.”

"Woah, chill out Dr. Graham. You don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“I’m not stupid Ana, I know he’s the reason you lost your shit last night.”

“It’s not what you think”

“Oh, it’s not what I think? Well enlighten me.”

“Aundre, I'm over it, so drop it. I don't want to talk about it” I stated, turning away from him. I left him by the door and went to the kitchen to refill my wineglass, but when I turned around, he was right on my tail.

"Alright, you don’t wanna talk about that so let's talk about how horny yo ass was last night." He retorted blocking me by the kitchen counter.

"I thought you said we didn't fuck"

"We didn't, but that ain't stop you from getting yours"

"Sorry...Its been a while" I shrugged, after realizing what he meant.

"It didn't have to be"

"Aundre-”

“Tell me you would be mad if I laid you on this counter and stroked you from the back until I found our favorite sweet spot. You obviously miss it as much as I do.” he stated, closing the distance between us.

“I....I don’t want to ruin our friendship” I stammered, taking another long drag before putting my blunt back out. I turned around and attempted to maneuver around him, but he wasn’t letting me out that easily.

"We've already crossed lines that can't be undone. Just let me take care of you. I can show you how a man is supposed to love a woman.” he pleaded as he slid his right hand across my breast and began to pinch my nipple through the thin shirt I was wearing. That’s all it took for me to give in and stop resisting. His left hand began to creep up my thigh while his breathing tickled my spine, driving me crazy. It felt so good to be touched. He was almost inside my panties when someone else knocked on my door, scaring the shit out of me.

“Stop” I paused, hoping whoever it was would leave. Only they knocked again, even harder this time.

“It’s me, open up” Mel called out between knocks. I pulled away from Dre, pushed him towards the back of the house, and smoothed out my clothes before opening the door for her.

“Why you knocking like the damn police?”

“Bitch, I been blowing yo shit up since last night. I got off the plane half an hour ago and rushed over here because I was worried about you, and you lookin fresh out the salon!”

“Calm down. I broke my phone last night” I explained, breaking from her tight embrace.

“Well I called your house too”

“I just got her-”

“What’s up Mel” Dre interrupted, coming from the bathroom. “Or shall I sall Mrs. Coleman”

“Oh hey Dre. What ya’ll got up?” she asked, looking from him to me, then giving me the side eye.

“Nothing, just-”

“He was just leaving” I exclaimed, cutting Dre off before he said something to get her started.

“Yeah, I was just leaving. Call me if you need me to come back” he added, leaning in to kiss me. I turned, giving him my cheek and rushed him out the door, hoping Mel didn't notice.

“Uh, what was that?” she asked, the moment I’d closed the door.

“What?”

“Don’t bring him into this back and forth shit you got going on with Chris. You know what, we’ll get to that later, what I really want to know is what happened between you and Rayven?”

“I don’t know, I was drunk as fuck last night. Wait, how do you know about Rayven?”

“Out of all people, she called me crying and said you flipped out on her last night. She was in her room watching TV and you picked a fight with her about Chris. Next thing she knew, you were choking her.“

”She gotta be exaggerating. I don’t remember any of that shit. “

”Nah. You fucked her up, look at these pictures she sent me" she stated pulling out her phone.

“Damn” I grimaced when I saw the black eye, busted lip, and bruises on her face and neck. I refused to believe I did all that. Was I harboring that much hate for her? “There’s no way I would beat her ass unprovoked. She must’ve done or said something to get that type of reaction from me.”

“Honestly, I don’t care or even feel bad for her. I’m glad you finally gave her that ass whooping she needed” she admitted with a chuckle. “Just be grateful she didn’t call the police on you.”

“I’m grateful she’s gone. I’m tired of babysitting, hopefully she went home”

“So you gonna tell me what’s going on?” she asked, before setting her purse on the counter and lighting up the blunt that was in the ashtray. We smoked while I filled her in on the drama from the past twenty-four hours, none of it was surprising to her.

“How many times will it take him stepping on your heart for you to realize he ain’t shit?” she quizzed, referring to Chris. “Not only that, but you’re gonna fuck around and get Dre’s ass beat by Chris. I love Dre and all, but Chris is kinda psycho. I’ve seen him mad before.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen both of em pissed, and that’s not a fight I want to witness. Anyway, it wont get that far, because I’m over this shit. I’m done with the back and forth and Chris can burn in hell for how he treated me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all-”

“I’m serious Mel. He’s gonna pay for it too, imma make sure of that.”

“What you mean”

“I have Shontae’s contact info. I’m telling her everything”

“What’s everything?”

“Everything he’s done to me, she deserves to know, and I know Chris ain’t told her shit”

“Well, what you going to do if she already knows? He’s supposed to be this changed man, so he probably already told her”

“Yeah right, Chris ain’t told her shit.”

“You don’t know that. I know you’re hurt sis, but I think this is a bad idea. You should let it go and let him go. Having that much hostility towards him just means your not over him, that’s why I mean it when I say don’t bring Dre back into your drama. He was heartbroken when you dropped him a while back, he finally stopped asking me about you like a month ago.”

“Well excuse me, I didn’t know you and Dre were tight like that”

“No, Dre and J are tight like that. I’m surprised he’s sticking up for you after you used him like a boy toy then tossed him to the side. Those were his words, by the way.”

“He said that?” I frowned with irritation. “See that’s why I can’t stand men. They’re never satisfied and always in their feelings.”

“Not all men, but you should definitely leave those two alone. Stop running in circles and meet someone new.”

“I’m not worried about no man. After dealing with all this shit, I’d rather be single.”

“I’m telling you, all you need is a good cuddy buddy or two. Have fun and stop taking shit so serious. You will be so much happier.” she advised, checking her watch for the umpteenth time. “I caught an earlier flight when I couldn't get in touch with you last night, so J doesn't know I'm back yet. If I’m going to surprise him, I have to beat him home from work.”

“Ok, thanks for coming to check on me” I added, walking her to the door.

“Of course, and I mean it when I say don’t bother that girl. That’s asking for bad news.”

“I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises I can’t keep” I shrugged.

“Well think hard, because I don’t want to hear shit else that’s Chris related” she ordered, before hugging me goodbye.

I watched her get in the car and drive off, while her advice echoed in my mind. Maybe she had a point with this cuddy buddy thing. Dre left my hormones in shambles, and the fact that I'm already in a dry spell only intensified it. I needed someone to release all this excitement on.

Just when I was about to go inside, a moving truck pulled up in front of my neighbor’s yard. Four men jumped out and began unloading boxes and furniture, so I decided to stay on the porch and be nosy for awhile.

My block was pretty quiet and full of older people, so I was glad to be getting new neighbors. The last guy was an old perve and my other next door neighbor is an old cat lady. Hopefully the new neighbor would be a closer to my age.

I watched the movers work hard and fast, but the boxes were never ending. They were all drenched in sweat in no time, but the one doing most of the work seemed to be really enjoying himself. He must’ve had headphones in, because he would randomly belt out in song while busting a dance move.

I was laughing hard as hell at his lack of rhythm when he finally realized I was watching. He smiled showing his pearly whites and nodded at me, so I returned a friendly wave.

He began walking in my direction, and I could make out his face a little better. He was cute enough for a hit and quit to help me get over this dry spell. Plus, he was my neighbor's mover, it's not like I'd ever see him again.

The closer he became, the more I set my mind a quick fuck. He didn't even know what he was walking into, and by the way he licked his lips, I knew he didn't stand a chance against my hidden agenda.

CHRIS

“Okay, okay. I’m up.” I muttered at Diamond as she bit at my toes, trying to wake me. Last night was the Day of the Dead event for the gallery and I didn’t get in until early this morning. I was so tired, I crashed on the first couch I stumbled across.

I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes when Diamond started barking, so I got up to let her impatient ass out. When I opened the door, Ryan was standing there about to knock, but was practically ran over by Diamond instead.

“My bad, she’s really got to go. What are you doing here?” I asked, letting her in. We hadn’t kicked it since she started hanging with Anthony. She had to know he wasn’t staying here anymore.

“It’s about Anthony”

“Oh, he came to get the rest of his shit a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know where he’s staying now”

“He’s at my place. I told him he could stay for a few days, but it didn’t even take him that long to hop in Kiki’s bed. Now she’s dickmatized and I can’t get him to leave.”

“Wow, he’s fuckin your roommate?” I asked surprised. He was just talking about how much he missed Ryan, so I didn't see that one coming.

“Yeah, I should’ve known he would do this. I feel so stupid for falling for his cunning ass. I thought he would at least have an ounce of respect for me, but I was fooling myself.”

“Talk to your girl, she’s probably your best bet at getting him to leave”

“I tried that already. She’s the one who convinced him to stay. I hate her for fucking with him, but I hate myself even more. I guess that's my karma, I shouldn’t have done the same thing to you. I’m sorry.” she mumbled, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it"

“It’s just… Don’t you miss our talks?“ she asked, sliding her hand down my arm and resting it on mine. I quickly pulled away, putting some distance between us so there would be no confusion. I wasn’t even remotely interested in her.

“I’m not tripping on that. It’s not like we wer-”

“I know, but still. It was wrong and now I’m paying for it. You would’ve never slept with a friend of mine. I should’ve just stuck with you” she blurted. Her eyes widened as she searched for my reaction to her confession, but truth is, it didn’t faze me.

“I can’t even pretend to be interested in someone who’s been with one of my boys. Like I said before, I’m not tripping. How do you expect me to get Anthony to leave your place?” I asked, cutting to the chase.

“I don’t know, threaten to kick his ass. He listens to you."

"I hate to break it to you like this, but I have a girl now, I can’t get involved in y'all’s shit.”

“Oh” she frowned as I opened the door and whistled for Diamond. Usually she’d come running in within seconds, but this time she didn’t. I went out and called her several times and still nothing.

“Want me to drive around the block and see if I can find her?” Ryan offered, before she took off and I gladly accepted.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll stay here and keep calling her. She’s never done this before, hopefully she’ll come back” I explained, before continuing my search down the sidewalk.

Ryan drove through the neighborhood, while I walked up and down my block for an hour, but Diamond was nowhere to be found.

“I should’ve kept my eyes on her” I muttered after explaining to Tae that Diamond was gone.

“Don’t beat yourself up, maybe she just wanted to do some exploring. Put her bowl outside, she might come home eventually.” She suggested.

As soon as we hung up, I took her advice, but after a couple of weeks a raccoon found the food instead. I didn’t realize how attached I’d gotten to Diamond, but since she disappeared I noticed how lonely and depressing my life was.

I’d rush home after work, in case she was waiting for me. It was pitiful, but it’s not like I had anywhere else to be. Trey was in full blown honeymoon phase, so it’s not like I could blame him for wanting to be up under his wife 24/7. I made the crazy move of being committed to a long-distance relationship, so it’s not like date night was in the question.

Shante worked so much, that we only talked late at night. On top of that, she was always tired, so our talks seemed to get shorter with each phone call. I couldn’t help but to question whether this long-distance shit was worth losing another chance with Robyn. All I had to do was break it off with Tae and Robyn and I could’ve picked up where we left off. Only this time, I’d do everything right.

I’d been lying on the sofa for at least a half hour, lost in thought about the what ifs, when my phone interrupted my thoughts. Guilt rushed over me when Tae’s name popped up on the screen.

“Hey babe” I answered after sitting up and clearing my throat.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Why?” I asked, wondering how she knew something was off.

“You’ve been in your feelings since Diamond’s been gone. I know you miss her, I just wish I could make it better”

“You can. Come see me. You know I’m lonely as fuck.”

“Aww baby. You know I would if I could, but this is the busiest time of year for me.”

“Yeah, I know. You got time to Facetime?” I quizzed, willing to settle for a video chat.

"Not really. I’m on break, but I only have one more client tonight. Imma go home, shower, and I’ll Facetime you when I’m done” she promised before we hung up. The moment I hung up with Tae, Taylor called.

“What you got up tonight?” He asked as he smacked in my ear.

“Not shit. What the hell you eating like that?”

“Bbq and buffalo wings. I was high as hell so I had my chef make a big ass pan of em. Come hang, I know you haven’t had a home cooked meal since Mama and ya girl been gone" he teased, cracking himself up.

"Alright. Send me the address” I replied after debating on it. Not only was he right about the home cooked meal, but I also hadn’t been out in a couple of months, so I got up, showered, then headed out to his place.

I thought I had a bachelor pad, but my place was nothing compared to his. He had a four-bedroom, five-bathroom house with the works sitting on a quarter acre above Sunset Blvd. I was impressed and a little jealous all at once, but when he told me it was one of the things he inherited when his mother passed, I felt bad. No amount of money could replace my mama.

We ate and had a couple of beers before I kicked his ass in pool a couple of times. It didn’t take long for him to get sick of losing, so we got on the PlayStation. After I kicked his ass in basketball, he was over that too.

“You wanna go for a ride?” He asked, leading me through his garage. He rummaged around a drawer, then tossed me what he’d been looking for.

“You sure?” I asked, realizing it was the key to his Harley Davidson.

“You know how to ride?”

“Yeah, it’s been a minute tho”

“It’s still the same” he reassured me before starting up his Yamaha. He took off out of his garage and I followed suit, right on his tail. It wasn’t my first time riding, but I was no pro either.

We rode around the streets of Beverly Hills for a couple of hours and I actually had a blast. He taught me how to do donuts and pop wheelies. I caught on quickly and even popped a wheelie while going 70 mph. It was exhilarating and I’d definitely found my new addiction.

“You should’ve seen me whipping” I boasted to Tae, still high from the rush the drive gave me. I’d just made it in when she called me back, this time on video. Actually seeing her face while we talked made all the uncertainty I’d had earlier disappear.

“You’re gonna have to get your own so you can take me for a ride next time I visit” she suggested, talking through a yawn. She was tired as usual and her hair was a mess, but she was still sexy. That made me miss her even more.

“Speaking of visiting, when are you coming to see me again?”

“You know that I can’t. Not any time soon, so stop asking”

“I’m just saying I miss you.”

“Sorry. I’m just, you know, tired. It’s making me cranky”

“I can have Tina do some rearranging on my schedule so I can visit you for a few days.”

“That’s cool, but with the holidays around the corner, I’ve been at work 24/7. I wouldn’t even be able to spend time with you.”

“Not even on Thanksgiving? I know you’re off for Thanksgiving. I’d be cool with coming out there for one night.”

“I work Thanksgiving too. A couple of my clients are high profile models. They have a shoot that weekend and Thanksgiving is the only day I could squeeze them in. It’s a fantasy color, which means it’s going to take at least half a day.”

“Wow. You just ain’t fucking with me anymore huh?”

“Don’t say that. You know that’s not true. I love you, I just... I can’t lose my best clients and I’d hate for you to come out here and not get to spend much time with me.”

“You know...you can tell me if you change your mind about this long distance thing.”

“I haven’t and I won’t. Why would you even say that?”

“It’s obvious you’re losing interest.”

“I miss you just as much as you miss me, if not more. Stop overthinking things. I’ve just been busy, I promise. When things slow down, I’ll be out there on the first thing smoking.” she reassured me, making me feel silly.

She was right. All of the alone time I’ve had lately had me overthinking and now I was acting like the needy boyfriend. If this is meant to be, then I won’t have to force it. I know what I have to do now, fall back and give her some space.

#robyn rihanna fenty #chris brown #ff #fanfiction #fanfic #RiRi

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bigbrothernetflix-st · 5 years ago

Text

EPISODE ONE

“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria

HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)

PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s

JOEY

WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!

NASH

tell me why i'm already nervous

NASH

waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect

GINA

skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk

alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes

KIKI

so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances

GINA

I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!

ARIA

okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!

So!! Lets make a tier list

We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)

-Nathan

-Jacob

-Gina

Asked to work together

-Joey

-Joshua

Implied we're working togther but lower tier

-Jev

-Josh C

-Monty

Super Sweet & Nice

-Bri

-Kiki

-Dem

-Mo

Sweet but i want a response

-Nick

-Emma

_saira

-jake

-Nash

So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing

1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)

2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)

3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar)

4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)

5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")

6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)

7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)

8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)

9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)

10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)

12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)

13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)

14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)

15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)

16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)

17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)

18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw

If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have

Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials

Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.

Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom...

Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...

Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.

Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.

Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.

SAIRA

I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out

JEV

i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem

JOSH C

HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.

my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!

i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.

i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.

for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.

xoxo gossip josh

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk

NATHAN

He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:

1. Aria

2. Jacob

3. Nash

4. Jev

5. Josh

6. Monty

7. Joey

8. Nick

- - -

END LIST

JOSH C

okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!

i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.

i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.

just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)

JAKE

chile............. where the fuck am i?

i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!!

the cast....... ill just do an assessment

dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that

saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well

joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..

nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye

joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3

nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe

emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3

jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him

kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT

monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again

josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be

gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?

mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes

brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more

aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe

skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on

jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...

and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......

i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!

JOSHUA

I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( (

JEV

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI

trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working

ARIA

its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..

First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy-

Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.

It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy

So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say

PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki

UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo

Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri

Help: Aria

So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!

So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.

I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod

JAKE

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that....

but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think.....

i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?

today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that!

brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.

i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on.

i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..

but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win

#bbnetflix st

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secretkelly · 5 years ago

Text

Beauty and Transitioning 101

BEAUTY AND TRANSITIONING 101

Step 1(Finding you and weighing the decision) – Accept yourself! Your opinion of who you are is what matters most! Find solace and a safe circle in support groups, counseling, and friends and family to find yourself. You could even utilize forums and chat rooms to help you get started. Any support can be helpful! Especially in the beginning! Being a transsexual a lot of times takes growth, perseverance, and is definitely a little about selfishness. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. You must tell yourself this! Think about it, the people in your life who don’t accept you are usually basing it on their own selfish views of who you are and should be. You have two choices. You can make everyone else happy or you can make yourself happy! Life is short and you must lead your life for you! Don’t waste your years. Living with regret is a horrible feeling.

For the insecure ones! If whats holding you back is age, height, and others saying you can’t…STOP! I want you to throw that negativity out the window! Women and men come in all different shapes, sizes, and looks! If being a woman is just about being beautiful to you, then maybe you should rethink your transition. Being a woman is so much more than looks! For the tall girls let me name some tall statuesque women. Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell, Kimora Lee Simmons, and many more! Does their height alter their femininity? I think not! These names should sound familiar to you. Keep in mind hormones can do a lot to diminish harsh lines, muscles, bulkiness, and it beautifies and softens the skin. There are other surgical procedures we will speak of later.

Step 2 – BRAVERY! Stick to your guns. Don’t give others a reason to question who you are. You know who you are and you define who you are. No one else does! Some of you may need counseling to get you on a safe and stable bedding. There is no harm in this. While others are fighters and know exactly what they want and aren’t scared to live it.

Remember to always be respectful of other peoples’ opinions, but make sure you put your opinion out there as well. After all opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. Doesn’t mean you need to take it to heart.

When you are ready (Read that phrase again! When you are ready!) to come out to your family and friends you will need to educate them on the decision, but their approval is not needed! Don’t fight them! Debate, but keep it classy. Yelling and showing aggression will not get your point across.

I know it will hurt a lot, especially with some of the things they might say. Keep in mind some of their attitude is their own confusion, anger, and their own selfishness coming out. Stay strong, don’t let them control your emotions! Let them know how much it hurts you inside to live a lie every day. Keep to how you feel inside and less about image! They may not understand at first, but eventually one day they will come around! Some wont, but every big decision in life comes with sacrifice. There are others who will support and love you! Count on this!

Step 3 (Therapy) – I suggest you always see a counselor first, and really understand what you are feeling. I think many times trans-women are misdiagnosed. They have body dysphoria disorder, rather than being a transsexual. A counselor will also be needed to further your transition. A counselor will also help provide much needed support, help you vent, and help you grow stronger with in! Believe me, you will need to stay strong for your journey.

As mentioned above you will also utilize a counselor to get on hormones and later to go post-operative. I do not think girls should self-medicate. Plus, the counselor should also refer you to a electrolysis/laser hair removal technician. You will normally get a referral rate. I will explain more in the next section.

Step 4(Hair Removal/Hormones) – Electrolysis and laser hair removal is painful I will not lie to you. If you have pain killers I would suggest to take them before hand! I would also suggest to do a mixture between laser and electrolysis. In between your hair removal treatments I would suggest facial peels with laser or even dermabrasion, because hair removal can be very irritating to the skin. Keep your skin hydrated! Drink lots of water, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! I would drink 4 to 5 bottles of water a day. I personally like Clinique “Dramatically Different Moisturizer” and I like putting straight vitamin E oil on my face and using witch hazel for an astringent. Alcohol is very drying to the skin, and it makes you look older. This was suggested to me by my electrolysis and it has done wonders for my skin!

You may also want to utilize vitamins to help your skin! Vitamins E and C are the most commonly used for skin! It really does help!

Girls may ask where I would go for hair removal treatment. I live in the Chicago area, so I would suggest Cassandra for hair removal. She works with Dr. Miller who is a endocrinologist. She is very good and understands the need and cost of transition. Also keep in mind she is also a trans-woman herself, so you will be treated with dignity and respect. I will link that info at the end.

As far as hormones, I suggest every girl use a endocrinologist, rather than self-medicating. A endocrinologist will give you blood tests to give you your hormone count and make sure you are inserting hormones into your body safely for your health.

Many girls over-medicate and ruin their sexual organs. If any of you plan on going post-operative you will want to keep the sensation in your penis. Hormones can ruin the nerve endings, and not to mention hormones are hard on the liver. The more sensation you have in your penis, the better chance you have reaching orgasm post-op.

Using a good endocrinologists will heighten you to your fullest feminine potential, by watching your testosterone level and estrogen level, and giving you the right dosage for your body. This will be the safest way and you will achieve great results.

Don’t think over-medicating will make the transition process go faster! It takes five years for hormones to fully work on the body! I know a lot of girls over-medicate thinking it will make the process faster, but really you are only being harsh to your body.

Pill form you only use a percentage of the hormone, and even shots, you only use a low percentage of the hormone. I personally think the best route to go is hormone pellets! You use pellets up to a six month period, and it is evenly distributed through out your body. I would suggest Dr. Odea to all girls, at least for the first year or two. He will do miraculous things for you! I will post his website at the bottom as well! He is located in California area though. I think he is worth the trip!

For my Chicago girls, I would suggest Dr. Miller! I like him a lot. I do not go to Dr. Odea anymore. I now utilize delestrogen shots and spironolactine with Dr. Miller. I get blood tests regularly with him to make sure my levels are correct. We are working on my own regimen at this time, and you will have your own as well. Every girl’s hormones are different keep in mind.

If girls are going to self medicate I would suggest you go to this page http://www.annelawrence.com/twr/regimens.html for details on proper dosage. I would also suggest this supplier for your hormones http://www.inhousepharmacy-europe.com/transgender/transgender.html they are reputable from my understanding. Please girls follow the proper dosages, and don’t over-medicate!

Step 5 (Clothes, Cosmetics, Eyebrows, Hair) – When you are ready to go shopping this will be an exciting time for you. You will be on your way to becoming the woman you always were! Remember gender is between the ears. I would suggest studying styles, looks, and fashions online and in magazines. I would also take your measurements, and invest in some silicone breast forms (I call them chicken cutlets) till you are developing breast or get implants. You can get those here http://thebreastformstore.com to wear in a bra and they have all different sizes.

Make sure to find clothing that best suits your body and is becoming. Remember your shoulders will probably be larger than your hip proportions. So your dress size for dresses may vary. You may be petite in the mid-section, but larger on top.

My favorite online store is http://www.greatglam.com the clothes are reliable, cheap, and last. I used to shop at Bebe a lot and other high end fashion brands until I noticed their clothes frayed fast, and would end up falling apart. I like great glam, cheap or not, their clothes last. Whatever your personal preference is dress for you!

Eyebrows are the window to the face as they say. A perfect eyebrow will really bring femininity to your face! It’s hard finding a good eyebrow specialist. If I may make a suggestion, I get my done when I go to get my nails done. Asians in my personal experience do great eyebrows. Especially compared to when I went to a white girl in a hair salon! They always seemed to be uneven. Thinking about it now even annoys me.

Hair will be a necessity. When you are first starting out you will most likely need to wear wigs. Many transsexuals utilize wigs and extensions. There is no shame in this! Women do it too! I would spend the most on your hair! Lace front/full wigs are the most natural. I would make sure to invest in a 100 % natural hair wig. Here is a good website http://www.invisiwig.com you can order offline.

Girls with hair, I personally love gay hair stylist. They in my opinion always seem to be the best. Every time I have gone to a female hair stylist I have always ended up disappointed. They turned my hair yellow or brassy or cut it badly. They are just not good hair stylist in my opinion.

I love Robert in Chicago at Salon 1800 in Oldtown. He also judges the Miss Continental pageants, and he is a beauty platform artist for Moroccan Oil products. They are the best products, especially for damaged hair!! Check out their website http://www.morrocanoil.com you wont be sorry! If you are in Chicago for a few days get in touch with him!

Hair extensions can be put in many ways. I have done the clip-ins and I have done the dreamcatchers. I love both. The clip-ins are much more inexpensive, but it’s up to you what you do. My hair now is all natural, but hair extensions can give you a more sexier and fuller look. Think sex kitten! You can watch youtube tutorials to help teach you how to put extensions in on your own too. Youtube is really a great source to learn tips on beauty!

Make up is an art. You will learn new looks and styles every day. I would suggest every girl own the Kevyn Aucoin beauty books. These will really help you on contouring and enhancing your face! We all have our flaws. I again would suggest youtube for learning, and I would suggest practice, practice, practice in the mirror. I personally would practice with cheap make up, so you aren’t wasting the expensive. Make-up is expensive when you think about it.

Make up brands I like are Cargo Cosmetics, Dior, Estee Lauder, Smashbox, and Nars. I am not a fan of MAC foundations, but their eyeshadows and pigments are amazing! Just have fun and study your craft and face! If you aren’t sure how it looks jump on a webcam or take a picture!

Step 6 (Surgeries optional) – I personally believe FFS (facial feminization surgery) is a natural process of transitioning. Unless you started really young or got lucky with feminine features. A man and woman’s facial shape is different in many ways! I think every girl should have at least her nose and adams apple done to achieve a more passable appearance.

Adams apple will normally give you away the fastest. I think the face should be concentrated on before the breast. Nobody is going to see you walking down the street nude, but they will see your face. Passing will open up more doors for you to be honest. It will open up a better chance at jobs, relationships, and acceptance. It will also in the end make you feel more comfortable in your skin.

If you aren’t a wealthy executive who is transitioning or have a rich family or benefactor transition is going to be expensive. Some girls pay by credit, others escort, some model, and many others go the cheapest route and pump their face with silicone to enhance their femininity. I don’t condone silicone pumping in the face, but many do it. If you are going to do this, make sure you use medical grade silicone, and go to a specialist/doctor who offers it. Don’t go to some crackpot!

I would also suggest webcaming for transition. It pays well, it’s not illegal, and it’s safe! There are numbers of sites that you can model for online. I personally like streammate and chaturbate, because there is no chargebacks and there is great traffic.

If you are going to go the full service sex work route, be safe girls! Screen your calls and make sure to protect yourself!

You will probably need anywhere between 20 k to 40 k to do your face and breast properly. Not to mention you will need to save up a few extra grand for living expenses and more, if you don’t have anyone to rely on. As I said it is very expensive, but your face is what everyone sees.

Go to the best, google reviews and history. Make sure you are going to a craniofacial/maxillofacial surgeon. They specialize in the bones of the face!

Some doctors I would suggest are Dr. Garth Fisher, Dr. Deschamps-Braly, Dr. Weinzweig, Dr. Lee, Dr. Cheetawaut, Dr. Suporn, and Dr. Mayer are a few. Don’t be scared to interview and ask hard hitting questions to your surgeon. Go with who you believe is the best!

If you are a girl planning on going post op or getting castrated. I would again goto the best doctors for this. Don’t mess with your downstairs and go to a hack job. You will definitely be dissatisfied! It wont be due to the loss of your penis, it will be due to the mess you have downstairs.

Some doctors I can suggest are Dr. Toby Meltzer, Dr. Suporn, Dr. Reed, and Dr. Menard. I have seen all of these surgeons work in person, and they did reputable jobs. I used to work in a laser/electrolysis office, so I saw work from every doctor you could imagine.

Dr. Meltzer, will be the most expensive, but his vaginal skills are amazing. Dr. Suporn and Dr. Menard are both out of the country, but great doctors. Dr. Suporn, does this surgery every day since he is located in Thailand. He has much practice and gives great results.

I hope this information has been helpful! If other girls have things to add please leave suggestions and tips in a comment. This really helps our trans-sisters out. Thanks for reading secretkelly.com

Sweet Kisses,

Kelly

Links to people I mentioned:

Dr. Odea – http://www.odeamedical.com Dr. Miller – (773) 237-7733

Cassandra hair removal – (773) 919-4247

JWPLASTICSURGERY.COM

0 notes

sneakyhomunculous · 5 years ago

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Last PT Report PT 2

Day 2: After day 1 we went to a nice dinner, 5 of us somehow spent 600$ [it may have had something to do with Rocky ordering 3 Apps a Salad a Soup 2 Entrees 3 Sides multiple glasses of wine and dessert) and we ended up staying pretty late. Continuing my hot run I got to pay for the whole thing! I didn’t get to bed until 12ish and unfortunately woke up around 4:30 to some obscene snoring. By around 5 it calmed down and I was able to sleep until 7:30. I woke up OK, but not fresh like the previous day. I went through the same routine as before and managed to catch the shuttle at the last second with Wily Edel and fellow Embercleavers. Draft 2, Pod 1 Featured Pod I was excited going into this draft because what I percieved as the toughest players Eli Brad and Hauck all drafted non blue decks day 1. In fact in all the drafts I did with Brad over the years he was basically never blue! He’s allergic to non green cards. I sat down to find the seating. Hauck was on my left and Brad and Eli were sort of across the table. Max Mick was feeding me, and I knew very little about him. Hauck and Brad’s drafts were both covered and you can watch them on the VOD. Unfortunately there is no draft viewer. They recorded every pick from every player, but unlike the old days they don’t really post the draft viewers anymore. It’s hard to do these draft caps off memory but I will do my best. The draft starts with a high, as I see many blue backgrounds on the magic cards in my first pack. Charmed Sleep, SecretKeeper, Didn’t Say Plz, Apprentice, and Vantress Gargoyle. I like Gargoyle more than most (I always have at least 4 cards in my hand) so I take it hoping one of the 3 good cards will wheel. There was a RW knightlord and not much else in other colors so a bit worrysome of a signal to send (and in fact Hauck 2nd picked the Charmed Sleep) Pack 2 was one of the worst packs I’ve ever laid eyes on. There was a steelclaw Lance and a B and G Paladin, and luckily a Frogify as the clear best card (Frogify isn’t very good). I take the Frogify Pack 3 is interesting; outmuscle improbable alliance tome raider covetous urge. It’s not that interesting, covetous Urge is completely busted. Alliance is a bit overrated and just fine, I do always have lots of opts and tome raiders so I like them I have it, but I know I will never play less than 11-12 blue sources and Urge is just so good. 4th pick Opt!!! This is the only blue card in the pack that otherwise really stinks. It was the last card I looked at and a huge sigh of relief for me. 5th pick didn’t say please and sage of the falls, a good sign. This is somewhat of a close pick but I value hard counters very highly and sage is just a much worse draw 3 scry 3. Take the counter 6th pick only one blue card tome raider, there is a henge walker as well but otherwise a weak pack. I take the raider as it sends a better signal and I don’t see myself being particularly aggressive after this start. I honestly don’t recall the rest of this pack but I know none of the 3 good cards tabled. I think maybe the overwhelming apprentice did but I don’t find that much of a playable magic card. I got a few playable like wishful merfolk and a forever young etc but nothing exciting. Pack 2 is where we make our living. Now I don’t want to go divulge off into a long theory piece, as this is supposed to be a silly fun report that is already bound to go absurdly long. But I have to say this. (and boy is it going to be fucking long. I just came back up to add this disclaimer. I am about to go on a massive rant about throne of eldraine limited. About how good Blue is. About how good unexplained visions is. About the theory of everything, and how Ben Stark is sometimes even wrong. If you don’t care about it you can skip past it. But you do care. That’s why you clicked this. Read it. You’ll laugh. You’ll learn something too; I think.) Rant on Drafting and Eldraine and Theory- Shoutout to Ben Stark the 🐐, and all the lovers of booster draft out there. Ben is great and much better than me. Shoutout to Marshall and Eduardo. They are both great players and great commentators as well, and they definitely understand limited and booster draft on a deep level. That being said... Ben Stark may tweet PT trophy records and shoutout his piece on “drafting the hard way”. Eduardo and Marshall may mention it multiple times during every draft. [See almost any draft ever, or specifically see Haucks draft on day 2 where he is completely handcuffed on my direct left “staying open” while ending up with a really embarrassing collection of cards after pack 1.] Multiple times throughout his draft Eduardo mentions how he and other good players and great drafters like to “stay open” by taking the “best card” in every pack. Well you see what Eduardo didn’t tell you and what Ben stark didn’t say in his trophy tweets or his piece on drafting the hard way is that... EVERY DRAFT FORMAT IS EXTREMELY UNIQUE [bolded and italicized for effect, but idk how] (Again Ben, Marshall, Eduardo, Riley, and Paul are all great. Commentating is absurdly hard and they do an unreal job. This stuff I’m talking about is way too deep for live on air stuff, and I can tell you that all 5 of them know most all of what I’m about to say already. “Drafting the hard way” is a great lesson for drafters, even experienced good drafters can learn a ton and will do well to remember it.) Throne of eldraine happens to be very dynamic. There are a TON of viable color pairs and options and “decks” but the thing is, some of them fucking suck. Shoutout again to Marshall for letting everyone know that RG was not really a thing when Brad was taking red and Green cards. Now we just need to admit that all the non U color pairs are not things either! The other thing is, a ton of the decks are really reliant on very specific cards. And of course the decks all have varying degrees of malleability. The fact of the matter is, 2 color decks just almost do not work at all. GB food is not a deck. Shoutout to Collin for somehow drafting it every time GW adventures isn’t a deck. RB and RW and BW knights are not decks. GR grumgullies isn’t a thing. UR draw 2 isn’t a deck. They are all complete traps and most people sort of understand this, but they don’t seem to know what to do about it. What you need to do is focus on the good decks, and then develop a draft strategy that gives you the best chance to end up with a “good version” of one of the [playable at all] decks. Now I’m not going to sit here and pretend like it’s easy. A magic the gathering 8 man booster draft with 3 of the same large set packs is one of the purest art forms to ever exist in our universe. Eldraine draft is mostly dead, but I’ll give you the [short; for how much I could write about this format] rundown anyway. It may help you develop a strategy in future formats. I can only hope R&D continues to make formats even close to as good as this one or Khans or Ravnica City of Guilds. Rule number 1: Blue is so much better than every other color. It would honestly make the format super awkward/Interesting if everyone was aware of this, but what I gathered before the PT and certainly during it, was that most people are not aware of this. And that’s despite the arena bots being so bad they force everyone into being blue every draft, and all the spreading of that info and complaining on Twitter still led to no1 really figuring it out. Rule Number 2: The color pairs are traps, fixing is very scarce and also very good, many cards look good but are TRAPS as early picks because the completely pigeonhole you into only 1 or maybe 2 playable decks/archetypes whatever you want to call it. If you watch theHamTV draft you’ll see him say it all the time. He first picks a card, and then by pick 2 or 3 he’s already tilting off because he says “I am never going to play these 2 cards in the same deck” this is not standard for a draft format by any means, but Throne is its own animal. Searing Barrage isn’t good unless you are Mono Red. That isn’t intuitive at first glance. Red white or Red Black are just not playable as color pairs. Same for Red Green or Green Black or Green White. You can obviously always splash, but the mana requirements are too heavy and the incentives to staying mostly one color are so high. This means you cannot afford to first pick Bake 2nd pick Charmed Sleep and then decide to take like Outmuscle over decent artifacts and U or b cards, and then decide to take Lochtwain Paladin over other blue cards and artifacts. The Paladin and to a lesser extent Bake are only good in mono black exactly (Bake is fine in UB). If this is the way the packs break that’s fine, what can you do? But Christian had a few better options I believe, and then soon I think he takes a red card. And then a malevelont Noble, And then another green card and then maybe a white card!? And look, I feel for him. The packs were weak overall and Throne of Eldraine is hard. He was also on my left, with Max on my right. Max and I both drafted Mono U. Christians draft is a perfect example of what many poor players drafts would look like if everyone realizes how good blue is. We probably don’t have time for it all here. But I’ll give you the short rundown. Exhaustive list of playable decks in throne of eldraine limited. Uxxxx Unexplained Visions Bury Their So Tiny Asses Alive I try to force this every single draft, but I do it in a delicate manner making sure to keep myself open to any of the other 10 or so good decks. After all we may not open any Vision, and they may not get passed to me. I sure as hell wont pass one. This deck is a malleable machine. It is so good because you can just take whatever nobody else is taking. If you get late pixies, you go green, if u get late mad ratter or alliance, u play those, if u get late Wicked guardians or a 6th pick lochmere Serpent or u open epic downfall and Bakes, you play those. If you get danse and have artifacts, you go dansing in the wind. If u get secretkeepers and counters you go mill. If you get stuck with Fae vandal and henge walkers and Vantress paladins you can even salvage with some runnaway together and tempo them out with fliers (I don’t recommend this tempo plan, but some drafts 5-6 people are blue and u gotta make it happen anyway. Your deck will still be better than the average deck in other colors) But ultimately all this deck truly needs is 2-4 visions/into the story (visions strongly preferred. Story only great if u have 3+ secretkeepers and or didn’t say please type stuff) You also would like some number of opts and witching wells (not necessary though). I’d play 6 opts at least and usually 2-3 wells. The less visions and into the stories you have the more wells I’d play. But even with 3 visions I’d play 4 Opt and a well or two. Any cheap magic cards that preferably block really well or gain more advantage in themselves like opt witching well clockwork servant wicked guardian etc etc, and then stuff like secretkeeper so tiny Charmed Sleep 1/4s and 3/2s for 2. and finally some good way to end the game (this doesn’t need to be a traditional big flier. It’s nice to have lochmere serpent or something absurd and easy to kill with, but a few secretkeepers and didn’t say pleases and mystic sanctuaries also works just fine, or some weird danse kill, or ratter/alliance army (watchout for revenge of the ravens!)) The real beauty of this deck is getting absurdly mileage out of other players dregs. Lochtwain Gargoyle is just actually a good card in this deck usually. Crashing drawbridge type stuff is not ideal, but totally serviceable. Corridor monitor and wishful merfolk can both be fine to actively good. You can see quickly how easy it is to consistently end up with this deck when you can play 5-8 cards nobody else would ever even take and other people are passing visions and playing non blue decks. Just wait until you hear what BEN STARK thinks about Unexplained Vision Ux Mill This is usually splashing black, sometimes mono. You know the deck. The arena bots give it away. In real life it doesn’t actually happen, a pipe dream. Sometimes my Visions Bury em decks end up winning via mill, bc secret keeper is just a fine to good card if u have drown in the Loch/into the story/ lots of visions and need 1-2 drops/the combo didn’t say pleases and no good finishers. But sure if no1 takes any secretkeepers and u get lucky clover or Folio and lots of didn’t say pleases this can be a great deck that’s hard to beat. Ug This is usually splashing for some very specific cards like maraleaf pixie, trail of crumbs, some rares I’m not thinking of, maybe Edgewall inkeeper/maraleaf rider and some eggs and some weird 3 color thing. I’ve had some wonky decks like this. It doesn’t come together often but I’ve had at least 3 drafts where I get multiple maraleaf pixies for free bc no1 can ever take them, and you can see how having an early trail of crumbs/outmuscle can lead to some weird mono u splash these cards shell Uw This deck has multiple different routes, you never want to shinechaser really, but you certainly always want owl. I think the best versions play a few plains for things like all that glitters and trapped in the tower or Danse of the manse type stuff. It’s silly but realm cloaked giant or that archon are other good reasons to end up this deck. Emry and eggs and witching wells any cheap artifacts you know what I’m saying. Ub This is mostly just an extension of the bury em visions deck. One note almost all of these decks want 11+ blue sources. Mystic sanctuary is busted in all of these decks. Clockwork servant type stuff is busted. Blue is completely busted! Now I know all these decks I just mentioned are sort of the same thing. But they really aren’t. And the big takeaway is that blue has all the best cards, and is also the deepest color by a lot, while also being able to support 3-4 different types of strategies in a single draft. It’s a crazy revelation when you realize it. Blues 8th best common is better than the 2nd best common in all of the other colors. Syr Elenora Urge Loch dragon Owl Snapper Vandal all great, so many more I’m leaving out basically every blue card in the set is a dreamboat. Tier 2 decks Mono Red aggro Searing barrage and embreth Paladin are not good in any other deck, but great here. Same goes for weaselback redcap and oftentimes even fling. The issue is lots of people don’t know that about searing barrage, so u may not get them for free. This deck just wants to curve out but have some serious burst potential with the haste Paladin/fling/barrage and then just fill in with any of the henge walker/joustin dummy type stuff and play redcap raiders/barge in/scorching dragonfires etc. I find it’s hard to get enough early creatures so prioritize them when you can. Mono G aggro This is a spicy deck that lots of people considered the best and so it’s well known and out there how to draft it. Go to Hamtv on twitch to watch Kyle play it all the time. Green has some good cards that no1 else wants like wildwooftracker the halberd gingerbrute maraleaf rider garenbrig Paladin etc. and while people do want outmuscle and Witchstalker, those are really strong. You can splash here, but you would almost always prefer to not have to. Henge walker etc can help you avoid having to. Mono W or Wx aggro. Tactician and cheap plays. White has no shortage of 1-2 drops and good value pump spells like guidemother and the squire. Flutterfox with some things to turn it on happens often, I think Banner and Wheel are just always great but they shine here in the flutterfox versions of this deck. Fliers/evasion is massive to get around my pesky corridor monitors and wishful merfolk and sectretkeepers. You can certainly have a knights theme and even splash black or red for some knights or removal/good cards. But you really want to prioritize actually being able to play your cards and being able to pick up Hybrid WWWWxxxx uncommons and cast henge walkers and ritual and Paladin and stuff with adamant. Same goes for all the mono color aggro decks, you really have to do your best to stay as mono as possible throughout the draft, and ultimately you don’t ever want to end up with a 10-7 or 9-8 manabase. It will obviously happen and with fine to great decks sometimes, but it’s super rare and you should actively be trying to avoid it. Some players have success with Knight strategies. I believe they need lots of uncommons and rares and then to get lucky to end up with a distribution that lets them play 11-6 to have good mana. I’ve 3-0ed with quite a few mostly white knight decks that splash the drain guy, epic downfall, reave soul, maybe some black rare idk. Things like that are fine. But taking the RW Knight uncommon 2/2 or the steelclaw Lance are recipes for disaster. I didn’t see Eli’s Draft, but see our round 10 match for an example of a steelclaw Lance deck. Mono B value/midrange I haven’t drafted this much but it’s mostly self explanatory. Usually it comes about by first picking bake into a pie or getting passed an ayara in a weak pack and just having black be wide open. You play the Lochtwain Paladin and the reave souls and bakes and whatever Hybrid Uncommons u can find and usually some rares and fill in with dummies and henge walkers as needed. Can splash for things like garruk or serpent obviously, and this comes up quite a bit, this is another good reason to try and stay mono going into packs 2 and 3. That is the end of the playable throne of eldraine draft decks list. Every other deck is a pipe dream. They do exist, but rely heavily on exact uncommons/rares like troll king or savy hunter in BG food. And even if u get them you will still lose to an average U deck with 3 unexplained visions. Avoid like the plague. Ok yeah, rule number 3 time I promise this is the last rule. Draft as though you know what the good decks are and you know how the format works. Stop acting like everything is a vacuum and Throne of Eldraine limited is just another Magic the Gathering Set that can be easily mastered by following the guidelines outlined in Ben Starks Timeless Piece “Drafting the Hard Way”. Taking random ass cards in different colors throughout pack 1 bc they are powerful is a recipe for absolute disaster in this format. It is true that Ben is right about draft theory in general terms, and in most formats drafting by taking the “best cards” you see in the first few packs is a sound strategy. Because you wait for a “signal” and then u move into what deck you are “supposed” to be in for your seat. Losing a few early picks is nothing when you end up in the perfect color pair that neither of the 2 players on your right or even the player on are touching at all. Right??? Yes it’s right, but not in throne of eldraine. Throne rewards cutthroat discipline of sticking to the blue cards and artifacts. You want to leave yourself open to being able to draft blue as long as possible, while at the same time not forcing it in case it just isn’t there. It’s very delicate and not easy, but some sample picks could probably illustrate my point better. Maybe review my 2 drafts from the PT and checkout my decks. I’ll try and post the pics again underneath the tweet linking these. Im exaggerating blue (a very small amount, it’s the best by miles), but sticking to cards that are good in multiple decks is huge. Youthful knight and flutterfox and tactician and guidemother and any other fine white card are fine white cards. There is only one deck that wants fine white cards. Mono white aggro. If this deck is not 100% wide open and you are taking these cards you will train wreck. I have drafted mono white 5+ times, but it was always because I started with a blue card, an egg, a banner or spinning wheel, a henge walker or dummy, and then started seeing late trapped in the tower or tacticians and the flutterfoxes or other white commons tabled. So this being said if you are faced with the decision of outmuscle or Tactician or Scorching Dragonfire or Even Reave Soul/Bake VS golden egg or banner/spinning wheel/Fabled Passage/clockwork servant always take the latter card. In their respective mono color decks the top cards are a bit stronger than the bottom cards. The problem is this isn’t a normal format. When you take a tactician in a normal format u can play it in 5-6 different decks. Any white deck. There is only one white deck here but 15 other decks. Don’t take tactician until it’s clear u are the only white drafter. Take opt. Or take run away together. Or if you’re lucky take spinning wheel. If you’re the luckiest person alive take Unexplained Vision The player on my direct right was Mono U in this day 2 draft. I drafted Mono U right behind them and 3-0ed with a great deck. It isn’t because I got lucky. The pack distributions were kind of ugly, and many players were blue or taking blue cards. None of my cards tabled. But it doesn’t matter. I stayed strong and took artifacts and fixing high, and I never let a good blue card go by. It’s a simple strategy really, but certainly hard to execute perfectly Some weeks before the PT, shortly after I had come to the realization that blue in throne of eldraine was approaching mandatory force levels; I saw Ben the 🐐 Stark first pick Emry Lurcher of the Loch and then 2nd pick a BOG NAUGHTY over a DRAW 3 SCRY 3! The best limited player of all time!! I certainly believe Ben is unbelievable and a very strong player and incredible mind. His willingness to search for the truth above all else is what I believe really makes him special. But Bog Naughty is not remotely pickable in any early pack 1 scenario. You have to be mono black and also have some food? It’s just not reasonable. GB food again isn’t a thing, and even if it is it’s likely heavy green. If it’s heavy black sure u can use the naughty to some good fun magic. But even if you do it’s like a slightly better card than what a filler card like henge walker or tempting witch? Don’t take Bog Naughty if you want to win your matches. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything so I asked him about it. I said “Yo Ben, you passed the literal dreamboat card for a Vantress Paladin that cost 5 mana double black after first picking one of the most busted rares in the set that is guaranteed to make your deck after first picking it, being as it is in the best color and it’s now so easy to prioritize artifacts in the draft.” What gives??? His response: “Not a big fan of vision. Especially when you already have Emry milling 4 giving you a source of end ess card advantage. I’ll play 1-2 copies of vision in my deck if I don’t have other card advantage, but it’s near unplayable vs mill and aggro and I don’t draft it highly.” Now I always look to give someone like Ben the benefit of the doubt. And this is twitter where nuance is obviously lost easily as we are limited to a few sentences. But breaking down what he said; he starts with saying he’s not a fan of visions, later saying it’s near unplayable vs mill and aggro and that he doesn’t draft it highly. This is when I realized I made a mistake asking him about it. The PT is still 3 weeks away and I don’t want him to realize he’s wrong and teach all of his friends. It is true that Visions have diminishing returns. Most decks can not afford to play the 5th, or even 4th copy. A lot of decks may end up not really wanting a 3rd either, but I think that is extremely rare. This is such a minor thing though, and it’s the literal most important card in over half the blue decks. You don’t say “oh I’m not going to take the best card ever because I can’t play more than 3 of them”. Like imagine a 5 mana card that said draw 10 cards. Sure you cant fill your deck with 8 of them. But now you want to fucking pass it because of that? No you fucking slam it to guarantee you have it. And if you get more, you slam those too and you play those too. And yes, once u get your 4th or 5th copy you can chill out, or you can bear down and play those too while figuring out a way to find some cheap shit to stay alive until you cast your first draw 10 and win by default . But the fact that you have this card, combined with the mere fact that it exists and you value it highly (properly) means you can now literally draft whatever u want, so long as you draft a sufficient number of cheap/defensive cards. More about his statement. Just because you have 1 Emry doesn’t mean you can’t take more card advantage??? He says Emry is an endless source. Yes it’s a 1/2 that needs an artifact stream and you also have to draw it and have it live. I would prefer to have 10 Emry type cards in every deck. If you’re tired of reading about this I’m truly sorry, but not really sorry because there’s no fucking way anyone is still here this deep in and not absolutely loving it. “It’s near unplayable vs aggro and Mill”. While the card is usually somewhat weak against mill (it actually ends up being the best card against mill a bunch of the time. I say this because I have a ton of experience with visions against busted mill decks in the arena streets. If you have 2-3 visions and you play against mill; There will obviously be games where visions is awful and you cannot even realistically cast it. But in the other games, the games you actually have good chances to win; you usually do so by burying your opponent in cards and killing them by default before they can mill you. No slow blue deck is going to aggro through a secretkeeper deck. You beat it by hoping they draw too many secretkeepers/defensive weak cards and don’t draw the counterspells. Mill vs U Visions control literally comes down to who resolves the visions! (I will concede that drafting like this means you are absurdly soft to Folio of the fancies/didn’t say please/Mystical Dispute and any really fast milling. But this is why I prioritize the counterspells very highly myself, along with cards like covetous Urge and cards that can kill efficiently thru walls of defense and kill alone like Syr Elenora/ratter/alliance and sB options like Vantress Paladin/steelhaze griffins or forever young, and also sbing in 8 more islands and 6 more blue cards if I need to.) But saying it’s “bad vs aggro and mill” is just silly. On its “bad vs aggro”- “Aggro” is a weird concept in limited. You really want to avoid being pidgeonholed into “aggro” at all costs. Being aggro means you are relying on having a strong opening hand with a good curve while also relying on your opponents to not have sufficient defenses against your onslaught. In theory this sounds like a fine strategy when executed properly. You fill your deck with powerful 2 and 3 drops with high power or menace or flying or haste or first strike, maybe even some one drops. Cheap burn and plays that help removal blockers/push through damage. And then u top it off with whatever powerful finishers you can find. In reality this is an inferior draft strategy to taking cheap/defensive cards, card advantage, and busted magic cards like the RARE MYTHIC RARE and UNCOMMON type cards. The reason is twofold, the draft portion + the games portion. In the draft, ending up with a great aggro deck is hard. You have to be in the exact right color for your seat, get the necessary amount of aggressive 2-3 drops, the right pump/cheap removal/burn/reach and the right mana base to be able to function well. In the games you have to avoid mulliganing, avoid stumbling on lands, and avoid drawing your 2 drops on turn 10 when you need your few finishers. Meanwhile you have to also avoid your opponent having any of the Stonewall Jackson type cards you dread facing. Like say Corridor Monitor into Clockwork Servant into Wicked Guardian. But this is the beauty of drafting. In a perfect world, we’d sit down for an 8 man where most of the players agree that being “aggro” is inherently bad, and we all lean towards being defensive and open to whatever the best ways to gain incremental advantage we can come up with in the draft. In this world the player(s) who recognize what’s going on and moves into the aggro lane will be rewarded and end up with a completely busted deck that has the highest win expectancy at the table. In many formats, this is actually exactly what happens. Aggro is [slightly] worse than just drafting a good defensive curve removal busted cards and card advantage. So if no one is drafting aggro you will end up with a broken deck that should crush everyone. That hidden factor is that you still have to avoid mulliganing and or flooding/stumbling/drawing weak cards in the mid game/overcoming stonewall Jackson so despite maybe having a slightly higher winrate than decent defensive decks, you still have to run well in your games and the medium deck can still stonewall you. You’re often prone to flooding as well. Look, I’m not saying aggro is unplayable. But I am saying you should do everything in your power to not draft it. Now back to the point. I would argue that visions is the BEST possible common you could ever have against aggro. (I wouldn’t actually argue that, I’d prefer wrath of god and moat and shit... but it is a very sound and good strategy of playing defense and then burying them with one broken draw spell. And this card is really really good, even vs aggro) Ben has this notion that in limited magic, card draw is often cheapened because of the low value of extra lands. I challenge this proposition in most scenarios, as finding a use for extra lands is easy when you are drawing tons of cards. And “getting past the lands” to find your specific answers/good cards is often very useful. But that is not super relevant here anyway. Visions isn’t just a draw 3... You then scry 3!! It’s a fucking common!!! Personal wheel of fortune!!!! End Rant Recap I have Hauck now feeding me for pack 2 My picks so far are Vantress Gargoyle Frogify Covetous Urge Opt Didn’t say please Tome raider Forever young Wishful merfolk Some dregs I forget Pack 2 I think I opened Fae of Wishes and 1-2 other decent cards. Fae is Busted so I slammed it. I am passed a pack lacking in good cards. It has a pixie, a queen of ice (not a good card, like the 10th best or worse U common) a Corridor Monitor (a good card, but obviously not happy to take early) and luckily a Fabled Passage that I slam! 3rd pick is full of busted stuff. Charmed Sleep So Tiny Danse of the Manse Trail of Crumbs Pixie (have to consider the other pixie tabling now) Ultimately I settle on charmed Sleep. I like So Tiny more in some decks, but you need multiple visions and preferably some mill stuff before I start taking my first So tiny over my first Charmed Sleep. 4th pick Covetous Urge number 2 over Opt and Mystic Sanctuary Urge is completely busted 5th Charmed Sleep over So tiny and Egg 6th pick So Tiny! Over wishful merfolk (Sorry Max) 7th pick Loch Dragon! Over So Tiny (You’re Welcome Max) 8th Pick Castle Vantress over nothing (Truly Sorry Max) 9th Pick Skullknacker Ogre over nothing (I boarded this in vs Brad who was Gr with no pump spells no removal. He had 2 Syr faren a few merchant of the vales and a bunch of Fierced witchstalkers a henge walker etc. I drew it and played it t4 and won bc of it!) 10th Pick the pixie tables but I’m Worried about my cheap creatures and plays and feel it’s unlikely I play G at this Point. I honestly may be confusing a pick in the draft and may have already had a mad ratter or improbable alliance bc I somewhat confidently took queen of ice over this pixie (2 Urge and Loch dragon mana requirements also weighed on my mind) 11th pick the other Pixie tables too. And I am on massive tilt bc I just pulled up the viewer to check this pack thru Christians eyes. There was a so Tiny in this pack he hate drafted here 😂😩😬 12th Pick he hate drafts Opt 🤦🏻‍♂️ But there is a mystic sanctuary anyway! He hates a Runaway Together with 3 cards in the pack and I don’t get anything Pack 3 I open a weak pack but it has a secretkeeper and an Into the Story. I timebanked this pick to the max and wasn’t confident. I really need early plays but also really need some more ways to draw extras. Bc of my two urges giving me some advantage in long games I decide to take the secretkeeper and pray I’ll see an Unexplained Vision Pick 2 Max does me a favor and passes me Syr Elenora. There is like a slaying fire and Yorvo as notables. But Syr Elenora is preeeeemium. Pick 3 I think I take either Mad Ratter or Improbable Alliance over Animating Fae and Nothing. Pick 4 Mystical Dispute over Moonlit scavengers Pick 5 Tome Raider over Queen of Ice Pick 6 Either Improbable Alliance or Mad Ratter (I ended with 1 of each, forgot which was which pick they are the same card in my brain) over Merchant of the Veil no Blue cards Pick 7 Opt over nothing Pick 8 Run away Together over nothing Pick 9 Into the Story Tables!!!! I end up deciding it’s my best Fae of wish Target and I only have 1 secretkeeper one Didn’t say please to mill, my removal is 2 Charmed Sleep So Tiny, so I figure the Into the Story being in my sideboard makes a lot of sense. I end up wishing for it 3-4 times and it was gas. Final deck is 12 islands 1 Mystic Sanctuary 1 Castle Vantress 1 Fabled Passage 2 Mountain 2 Opt 1 So Tiny 1 Merfolk SecretKeeper 1 Vantress Gargoyle 1 Fae of Wishes 1 Wishful Merfolk 1 Queen of Ice 1 Improbable Alliance 1 Run Away Together 1 Frogify 2 Tome Raider 2 Charmed Sleep 1 Didn’t Say Please 1 Mystical Dispute 2 Covetous Urge 1 Loch Dragon 1 Mad Ratter 1 Syr Elenora 1 Steelhaze Griffin (23rd card and I was torn on this. Card is whatever not good at all, but it can block and it can attack) R9 Dylan Lerch (The only White Drafter) Because we were the feature pod, we exchange pools. We don’t have decklists, but pools of all 42 cards drafted. Quickly I see that Dylan has a completely busted mono white deck, well likely splashing red. Dylan was two on my left. I figured Hauck was probably white, but since he wasn’t it all got to Dylan. Dylan was certainly the only white drafter. I am trying to imagine my gameplan for beating this deck, and I’m failing to come up with scenarios where I win any games. 4 Fairie Guidemother 2 Giant Killer 1 Worthy Knight 2 Youthful Knight 1 Inspiring Veteran 1 Shepard of the Flock 1 Glass Casket 1 Ardenvale Tactician 1 Clockwork Servant 1 Linden the Steadfast Queen 1 Brimstone Trubuchet 1 Slaying Fire 1 Outlaws Merriment 1 Archon of Absolution 1 Resolute Rider 1 Oakhame Ranger 2 Fireborn Knight 13 Plains 4 Mountain I know I clown aggro, but this deck is no joke. My wishful merfolk is downright embarrassing vs this. My queen of ice too. My charmed sleeps aren’t very good vs 1/1 fliers. As a matter of fact without Fae of Wishes I don’t see how I stop this onslaught. Game 1 starts off about the only way I could ever imagine for a game that I’ll win. I play turn 2 Fae of Wishes after Dylan played a turn 1 Fae Guidemother. Soon after he plays out a giant killer, and then some 2 power thing. He starts tapping my Fae and Building a force, but I find some tome raider chain into some real cards I can’t remember exactly, but I know I stabilize and then bounce my Fae with Run away Together and then Granted for Into the Story. I draw 4 then covetous Urge him a little bit behind now and at around 8. He still doesn’t have a mountain, so his Outlaws Merriment is stranded and I kill him with it over a few turns after I stabilize around 5 life. I feel I got very lucky that game with his draws being poor and being able to steal his merriment. G2 he plays 1 drop 2 drop turn 3 2 drop plus giant killer and turn 4 I am left conceding with no outs. Disgusted while shuffling for G3 I wonder where it all went wrong. How is Dylan’s deck so good? Why am I paired vs him now? I know I can beat the other 6 decks! I have a decent hand but slow, luckily he makes no play turn 1. He plays a few creatures over the next few turns and misses his 4th land drop. I have a singleton medium blocker I forget what it was but it’s getting tapped bc It’s facing down vs his now worthy knight giant killer Fae guidemother and I think Youthful Knight plus 1/1 as i cast my Covetous Urge, assuming I am just dead with no outs. Dylan is stuck on 3 plains and reveals his hand of fireborn Knight Outlaws Merriment another 2 drop anddddddddddddddddddddddd Archon of Absolution hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa I go ahead and take that. He doesn’t draw a land and makes some attacks putting me to 12 and plays another 2 drop. I untap and casually place his protection from white ghostly prison into play hahahhahahahahahah he has 7 creatures and 3 plains and draws land, but it’s plains. So all he can muster is fireborn Knight. He plays it then lines up attacks and there is under 10min in the round and a big crowd is watching. After a bit more of him thinking about who to attack with I just finally say you cannot attack they all cost a mana and he realizes it and shakes his head and passes. I untap and covetous Urge him again and take Merriment! His only out from here is mountain then slaying fire, but he doesn’t find them. I actually cast didn’t say please the next turn after playing Merriment and he mills a mountain and the slaying fire! Turns out Archon of Absolution is good against Mono White aggro 1 drops and tokens!! 8-1 and ecstatic to steal one. Round 10 Vs Eli Kassis on RB ~18 Playables??? Eli and I are featured as the backup match and a few parts of our games ended up on camera. When we exchanged pools we have 1 minute. I scan through and see he’s clearly black. He has rankle malevelont noble and some random assortment of ok black cards. He has Covetous Urge and Memory Theft. He also has like 5 red cards and a Steelclaw Lance. A crashing Drawbridge and maybe one other artifact. But overall if he plays every single black card artifact and red card that I deem playable it wasn’t even 20 cards. I ran out of time confused how he built his deck. It seemed that he was in fact just red black so maybe I miscounted or missed something. The games are somewhat interesting. Game 1 I kind of flood and awkward covetous Urge his hand of covetous Urge and weak cards, and he already has some 4 power attacker and shortly produced another. I had to urge his urge and I eventually get to Urge again to play something OK but I am just a little to much behind and can’t get a foot on the game before I’m forced to chump and then die. I’m still confident as his deck seems weak. Games two and 3 are pretty straightforward. He keeps drawing crashing drawbridge and steelclaw Lance and I’m Able to deal with his actual cards one at a time while producing a board of stupid little fliers. I did get lucky g3 on camera. His t2 crashing drawbridge I t2 Vantress Gargoyle He t3 memory theft and my hand is 6 spells no land. But it’s wishful merfolk Fae of Wishes charmed Sleep Run away Together tome raider and something else cheapish. So I don’t really need lands too badly and I also don’t have anything that broken. I think he takes my Fae or maybe a diff good card, but I immediately peel a land and tome Raider. I draw into another raider. He t4 covetous Urge off quad swamp and takes my Charmed Sleep and uses it on my Gargoyle the next turn. I’ve been milling with Gargoyle and I play tome raider 4th land go. From there I don’t miss lands for a few more turns and end up burying him beneath fliers once i draw Loch dragon and he only has some anemic beats with a solo rimrock Knight. 9-1 2-0 in the draft At this point I know Brad is playing vs Max Mick and I’m really hoping Brad wins. Max was on my right and I know he’s mono U with Folio gadwick. Unfortunately he won. But the good news is Brad Started 8-0 so he’s also 9-1, and we get paired!!! R11 Mike Sigrist on Gr Monsters His deck is a steaming pile of large creatures and bad mana. I kept going over the list looking for a spell and all I could find was a crystal slipper, 3 Fell of the pheasant, a Sundering Stroke and a Thrill of possibility. He’s mostly Green with 2 Syr Faren 2 Fierce Witchstalker 3 Garenbrig Paladin. He has a henge walker and a rosethorn acolyte, and then like multiple merchant of the Veils and Ogre Errants. I don’t even see how he has 23 cards either, he must be playing all these pheasant plummets (he is) We are main feature match. The whole thing was on camera. Brad won the die roll and mulligans to 5. I have 3 lands perfects with like a tome raider charmed Sleep counterspell and some 2 drop. I sort of draw only lands for the first lot of turns but Brad has a mono green deck and starts mountain mountain mountain henge walker. I charmed Sleep it. My plan was to save those for paladins, but with his mull to 5 and triple mountain start I figure I can race easily. He does put up some fight but I just take it slow and have Dispute and didn’t say plz and eventually find like an Urge and or a Loch dragon to close the game in short order. Game 2 is really interesting as I have to let him filter 10 times with merchant over the game but I maneuver my way to a winning position eventually on the back of both my Covetous Urges. 3-0 GG Y0 10-1 I know it’s way too late for subway or anything as the lines will all be unreal. So I pack up and find a message from Collin that he is grabbing convention center pizza. He grabs me a slice and it’s so terrible I can’t take more than a few bites. I’ve been staying really well hydrated and eating a decent breakfast at least, but these no lunches are brutal. Luckily I’m riding the adrenaline today and feel completely fine. R12 Vs Josh Utter Leyton on UG food Josh has 4 Growth Spiral instead of paradise Druid and is playing 2 Kraul harpooner I think. He has 25 lands but is on a pretty normal list otherwise. No Mass Manipulation or anything. Game 1 he’s on the play I think but starts tapped land tapped land goose. He has a turn 3 Oko I think but I have a decent hand with vraska and grasp and I think I end up vraskaing his Oko and Grasping a nissa and winning with my Own eventually. G2 is blurry but I think he mulliganed and or had a bad hand. I do remember having to take a big risk though. I could use my vraska and make a big attack to guarantee his nissa died, and he had no hand, but I would leave myself dead to a topdecked nissa Oko or aether gust. I decided to go for it anyway as I didn’t see any other way to guarantee nissa dying. He drew a kraul harpooner which was not good enough and I got to untap and put the game out of reach with a krasis or something. 11-1 I know that one more win should lock top 8, and I have at least 3 rounds to find it, maybe even 4. No pressure. I honestly didn’t it feel much. I’ve been here before after starting 8-0 in a PT a few years back. That time I went 1-1-1 in the draft and started 2-2 in constructed so I had a win and in the last round, and lost it in rather unfortunate fashion. But I didn’t really feel too nervous that day either. I think it gets to me more when my back is against the wall. When I’m just winning every round, I just keep going! R13 Mack Smith Bant Food He is playing Stock Bant from the European GP. 3 Maindeck Mass Manipulation Growth spirals etc. G1 I get ahead and I think I am fading mass manipulation in the later turns (nothing I can do about it) but he doesn’t have it and I win. G2 I feel ahead but have no answer to manipulation and the turn I thought he would play it he didn’t so I got excited, but he played it the following turn and I died. G3 i play t1 goose he t1 goose. I play Druid t2 and he just untap and says go. I go for t3 Nissa but he has a Negate to counter, down to just goose forest no food though. I think I have to spend a turn doing not much because I may be missing land as well, and he actually discards to hand size and then I wolf his goose. I win that one a couple turns later 12-1 and locked with 1 more match point. I feel like I would have been more excited if it were a few years ago. My first PT Top 8! But honestly it felt all a bit weird. The PT is moving to the Players Tour, and so much history is fading away. This PT top 8 literally means nothing if I don’t win first place. Just 2 years ago a PT top 8 would mean almost all the points you need for gold and over half of the way to platinum. Getting 2nd in a PT would all but assure you could make Platinum if you played some magic. Plus everyone was around and into it, the hall of fame talks etc etc. Now with the MPL and the PT going away everything is a bit cheapened and everyone is sort of automatically Jaded and unsure of the future. I was still feeling good; I just expected to feel more. I also know I still have to find a draw. My instinct says even if I lose r14 I’ll get the draw R15 with another X-2 though. R14 Andrew Cuneo on GW adventures This match was main feature and all on camera. Cuneo is great and we have some banter before the game about die rolling procedures. He also tilts off when I mulligan and say I’m going to keep before putting a card back. That’s not actually how that works he says. What does work is noxious grasp maindeck against GW little kid. I play multiple and Andrew draws plenty of lands and dies. In game 2 I keep a very sketchy hand of Wolf Massacre Girl Krasis 4 lands on the draw. I only have 1 Massacre Girl, He mulliganed, I’m locked for top 8, what the fucking hell could go wrong K3333pp! He puts a card to the bottom and announces keep. OUAT finds inkeeper, forest inkeeper. I draw land 5 and say to myself u are the dumbest fucking shit in the 7 kingdoms for keeping this. Land go; He untaps, aggressively pushes his inkeeper up at me and I right the 1 life, he shuffles his hand briefly and says GO. Wait what? He took inkeeper with OUAT and then didn’t play a 2nd land turn 2. How unlucky can this guy be??? I continue to draw only lands and he does hit a land next turn, but it’s a forest and no play. He eventually does find plains and puts up a fight. Eventually marching for 5 or 6 and convoking loxodon with a card still back. I have tons of Mana at this point, still have Massacre girl and can cast it + wolf to wrath everything. But I drew legions end the turn before and realize there is no reason to kill my own 6/6 krasis, just legions end the tokens and I’m ahead on board anyway. He dies shortly after. 13-1 R15 ID with Louis Deltour! 13-1-1 1 Seed Locked up R16 vs Paulo Vitor Damo Da Rosa Right before the match I had been talking with Tom Ross and I see the pairing and he says you should dream crush no? He won’t make it if you beat him. I honestly hadn’t even looked at the standings and wasn’t considering playing before talking with Tom. But then I started thinking. This last Pro Tour Ever here... it is so Top Heavy. True winner take all scenario. What do I have to lose by playing and trying to knock out the best player in the room? Well for starters I like Paulo. He’s just really likeable, and has always been friendly with me. I know he will be upset, and it will cause some drama as this type of situation is rare and they have probably already considered him in after seeing pairings. But the more I think about it the more it makes so much sense to play. I don’t owe Paulo anything, and this old mentality on the etiquette of IDs/Scoops makes a lot of sense in the old Pro Points/Level System. Or when PT top 8s really meant something. But what the hell does letting Paulo in the Top 8 actually do? Make it that much more unlikely I win the tournament is about all I can think. Greg Kowalski and his non green deck will be in if I beat Paulo. If I draw with him Paulo and his perfect mass manipulation gadwick list will be in. So anyway, I tell Paulo I want to play. He is obviously a bit surprised. And a huge crowd is forming. Shahar is behind Paulo and giving me the absolute stare of death throughout the whole thing. I tell Paulo the truth. I think he is great, and a random player making t8 would be very beneficial for me. I said this tournament is winner take all for me. If I go on to get 2nd not one person will care. In 6 months no1 will remember my name. They won’t know I got 2nd. I’ll get my 42 Mythic points and they will be worth nothing. I’ll be qualified for the next PT only and that is it. 20k and a fuck you have a nice day. But if I manage to win? 50k an invite to worlds (62,500$ in equity). All the clout, the trophy. There is an Arena PT in a month I’m Not qued for. Odds I get invited if I win? Not as high as Ondrej’s odds since he won (100%) but pretty high. You get the point. Winning first matter a lot. I told Paulo this. I said 3 years ago we would high five he’d say yay PT t8 number whatever triple digit number. I’d be happy I’m locked gold tons of pro points everyone cheers everyone happy. But we ESports baby. T8s don’t mean shit. So I ask to see his list and of course, it’s great. I told him this isn’t looking good for you. U got mass manipulations no shitty colorless land only 2 temples this shit is perfect. Let’s play. But I was not in it. I felt a slight bit of pain for Paulo in the moment, and I also was just tired. LSU was beating up on Alabama and I had planned on watching the 4th quarter before Tom mentioned I should play. But at this point I felt I had to at least go through with a game or two. I may just write ID on the slip even if I win, we will see. He beats me in a game 1 where I play ok, but not great. It’s a short game and I go to put my Sb Into my deck. As I’m shuffling through trying to find cards to cut I realize I forgot his SB. And I also can’t even think and don’t care anymore, so I offer him the draw and of course he happily accepts. I tell him I just couldn’t do it to him, sorry I made him sweat! 13-1-2 1 Seed going into Sunday. Paired vs 8 Seed Sebastian Pozzo on stock UG food, Paulo V Cuneo are the other match on my side. I will write about day 3 and the T8 games in another post. This one is a LOT of words and it’s unreal if anyone read this whole thing straight through with no breaks. I’ve been typing this all day, and I don’t feel like proofreading. Thanks for reading; GG Yo

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