#Deceit and Emile are partners somehow?

[theraputicfluff]

Evasion

You know what I can’t get enough of? ticklish Emile.

So guess what I wrote: a fic involving ticklish Emile.

Gotta credit this lovely fic by @cefstickles, which totally sold me on the Deceit x Emile pairing. The AU of this fic is based loosely on this post, which speculates that Dr. Picani might take on some of Thomas’ sides himself if he had Thomas as a client.

Pairings: Deceit x Dr. Emile Picani Words: 1,357 Warnings: tickle fic, implied angst from unidentified clients, sad Emile (don’t worry, he gets better). SFW. [Let me know if I left any warnings out!]

If you’d like to be added to my taglist, lemme know!

Emile Picani loved his job. Really, he did.

But the same traits that made him so good at it- the empathy and depth of understanding that allowed him to pour so much of his heart into his work - left him, on bad days, feeling as dim and hollow as a spent candle.

Today was a bad day.

"Are you alright?" Deceit asked, uncharacteristically direct.

Emile was slumped beside him on the couch, struggling to peel open an applesauce cup. He didn't seem to hear.

"...Em?"

"Hm? Oh, yes." His voice was thin, more like he was murmuring to himself than replying. Another long silence followed.

"One of your patients, I take it?"

Emile finally placed the applesauce cup on the coffee table, still stubbornly sealed. "Several." He straightened up and smoothed his hands over his knees. "But. Work at work, home at home." He flashed his companion what he hoped was a cheerful smile. "No need to worry. You wanna watch a show or... somethin'?"

It was not a convincing performance.

"That's not dinner, is it?" Deceit nodded to the applesauce.

Emile looked at it blankly. "Well, I can't get it open, so I suppose not."

Deceit turned his human eye to him and managed to deliver a scolding lecture on the importance of self-care in a single deadpan look. Emile would've smirked, if he still had it in him.

When he looked away instead, Deceit's heart dropped a little. He felt a bit out of his depth - heart-to-hearts were in Emile’s wheelhouse, not his (at least, not honest ones). But he sure looked like he needed one.

"Would... you care to discuss it?"

Emile did manage a warm little smile at that. "I can't, really... confidentiality and all that."

"Oh, but I'm very confidential!" Deceit replied. "Keeping secrets is my specialty."

"You have enough of my secrets, sweetheart."

Truth was, Emile really didn't want to talk about it. It was hard enough to listen to the echoes of the day's events; they’d been spinning through his mind since he'd walked through the door.

Deceit slumped back. "Well, let's find something to help you relax then."

"Honestly, Dee, I'm fine. I just need a good night's sleep is all."

"You know how you get, though. At this rate, you'll be tossing and turning all night..."

Emile sighed and let his head fall limply against the wall behind him. Another silence yawned.

"I thought you cared about me! I thought you understood!"

"...Is there a particular show you feel like rewatching?" Deceit's voice sounded far away.

"Dr. Picani, I did it again. I thought I was getting better."

"Well, if you can't get it off your chest, and you're clearly not interested in television..." Deceit was starting to grow concerned.

"Dr. Picani, I want to-"

"-Hey!" Emile squeaked, and dropped back to earth like a sack of bricks.

"That got your attention." Deceit peaked his hands under his chin and began tapping his fingers together, a villainous glint in his eye.

Emile, sensing where this was heading, drew his knees up to his chin and pressed back against the cushions. "I-if that’s how you think you’re gonna get me to relax, you’re-"

"Is it? Why, I hadn't considered it, but I must say that's an excellent idea."

"Dee, I didn't mean-" Okay, maybe he did, just a little bit. "Y-you don't have to-”

"I think we could both use a little... levity, don’t you think?"

"Wait - both of us? Is everything okay?" Picani scrambled to sit up against the arm of the chair and tilted his head with concern. "You didn’t have another nightmare, did you? I know how hard you take th-"

"Ah ah ah, don't go turnin' this back on me!" Deceit cut him off, smirking. "I'm not falling for your little therapist routines."

"Wha- that’s- it’s called emotional sensitivity, you jerk!" Picani was unable to keep the smile out of his voice. "That's not a ‘therapy routine,’ it's-"

"It's called an evasive maneuver, my dear, and I see right through it." He leaned in close, propping his chin on the other’s knees. "Evasion, after all, is my specialty."

Emile made an attempt at a stern look, but was far too distracted by the proximity of the other man (who was now stretching his fingers, catlike, up toward the ceiling) to maintain it.

"Now, if I remember correctly..." Deceit resumed poking gently up the other's sides, screwing his eyes up to the ceiling as if searching for something lost between sofa cushions. "Somewhere along here really got you last time..."

"Ack! Dee, stOPit, I'm too - I'm too tired to be ticklish - right nohow!"

Deceit actually did pause to give the doctor a look. "My dear. You are a terrible liar."

At that Emile finally cracked, unable to hold back his own nervous giggles any longer. One of the challenges (or perks, depending on how much of a lee mood he was in) of being tickled by someone who was the literal embodiment of deception (or so he claimed) was his skill in sleight of hand. It made trying to anticipate when and where he would strike virtually impossible. Emile could only press himself as far back into the pillows as he could, drawing his arms up to shield himself more as a reflex than serious defensive tactic.

"Oh, I remember now," the darker man drawled. "It was riiiight about... here."

Emile squeaked again and flinched sideways as long fingers began scribbling into his ribs. Deceit was also a strategic 'ler: he kept track of the precise pressure points that made his victim squirm most desperately, like the bottom edge of the ribcage, for example, or the space immediately above the hipbones. In Emile's case, he'd found places where skeleton met softness were particularly effective.

Of course, Deceit had to dig a little to find them, as Emile was... well, primarily composed of softness. But this only contributed to the stuttering giggles the therapist was now shaking with. And it gave Deceit an excellent excuse to slip a hand under his sweater to get a better feel.

"Dee- DEHEHE!"

"Yes dear?" Though the darker man's voice was perfectly calm, Emile caught a quick twitch in the corner of his mouth, betraying his true feelings. He was loving this.

So was Emile - at least, the part of him that wasn't trying to halt the progression of Deceit's hand against his bare skin. He succeeded only in trapping it even closer to his body. Deceit felt his glove slip off as Emile jammed his elbow into his fingers, and, shooting him a positively evil smirk, began skittering his now-free fingernails up and across Emile's belly.

"AH-aha! STOPPIT!" It didn't help that Deceit's hands were freezing cold. Must be why he wears those ridiculous yellow gloves all the time... Emile's train of thought came abruptly to a halt as Deceit found a sweet spot exactly halfway between the base of his ribs and his bellybutton. The poor doctor crumpled sideways and wheezed with laughter, desperately clutching at Deceit's sleeve.

"Goodness. That's a good spot." Deceit was outright grinning now, unable to stifle it. "Heaven help you if you ever require a Heimlich maneuver."

There was the hint of a waver to the dark side's voice as he (just barely) fought down his own case of the giggles. The man was just. so. cute.

And, unbeknownst to Deceit himself, catching that little waver was one of Emile's favorite parts of their little games. The dark side’s own giddy delight may have been subtle to onlookers, carefully tucked under his usual suave, sly persona, but the therapist was just as skilled at seeing through emotional facades as Deceit was at producing them. Emile could read him like an open book.

And being able to find a crack in the composure of someone so careful to maintain it? Somehow it felt to Emile as if a shy puppy had chosen him as his favorite.

When Emile lost his breath completely, Deceit finally withdrew his hand and patted the rumpled sweater back into place. It took Emile a moment to collect himself, still quivering with soft, hiccupy giggles.

"You're..." he slowly propped himself back upright. "Good... at that..."

Deceit only leaned back with a chuckle of his own. And a very fond smile.

Emile had always struggled to put his work aside long enough to adequately recharge his emotional batteries. But when he needed to forget the weight of the world, at least long enough to get some sleep, Deceit was always happy to help.

After all, it was his specialty.

[greenninjagal-blog]

currently vibing in a two-week lockdown, can you share some of your favorite fics? i need some new things to read, and I've got too much time on my hands-

Aw man, same! The rest of my actual Spring Semester got turned online… Let’s see…..Fic recs for the pseudo End of the World (Courtesy of AO3, arranged by most prominent ship!) Keep in mind that my descriptions are shorter and written mostly for comedic effect than the actual fics, so if something looks interesting Click it! Get more info about it! Don’t just take my word! I tried my best to get a lot of variety of fics and topics and tropes, as well as authors that might not be as well known! Uhhh here are the links to lists I’ve already made for various other reasons check out my Fic Rec Masterlist!

I also am including various of my fav authors masterlists for funsies!

jungle321jungle’s || Max-isTired’s || TrashficParlour’s || Lefaystrent’s || Mine!

Completed Fics

A Deal in which Virgil tries to summon a familiar and gets a Circle King instead. And he’s really pretty. (Anxceit)

Love Like You in which Virgil decides to give up looking for a romantic partner and considers adopting instead. He finds more than he’s looking for with a set of twins and the man who watches over them (Anxceit)

A Dragon’s Tail in which Logan is cursed to be a Dragon by his best friends stepmother, Virgil is struggling to learn a power he can’t control, Patton who’d rather marry a servant than the Prince, and Roman has no clue what is going on but the Prince he’s supposed to be saving can probably kick his ass. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

A Game of Vice in which Remus kidnaps Roman and turns it into a game of who can come save him from his lonely tower. (Logicality, Prinxeity) 

double down with the paradigms in which Logan tries to explain away his own OCD while dealing with the emotions he has for a certain Pre-Vet. Excellent depiction of OCD, made me cry, 300/10 would read again. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

It Takes Two to Tango in which Roman begs his brother, Logan, to let him go back in time to meet a famous dancer. Falling in Love was not part of the plan. (Prinxiety, Logicality)

A favorite star in the heavens in which everyone has at least one soulmate. They’re luckily enough to have three each. (LAMP) 

Forgotten Forests and Magnified Myths in which Logan finds out very suddenly that he has the passive ability to talk to dragons. (DAMP, Remilie)

Sense5 in which five people in different countries are suddenly psychically linked together and uh…yeah fun times. (DLAMP)

Stray Hearts Are Subject To Change in which black cat hybrid Virgil plans to die very heroically in an alley and Roman completely messes up that plan by being a decent human being. (Prinxiety, Logicality)

Hidden In Shadows in which Virgil is the boogieman every adult warned you about but he doesn’t actually enjoy being scary. Good thing the three Sanders kids aren’t scared of anything. (Not so good for their very confused Dad who isn’t sure what to do about their new imaginary friend)

Paved with Good Intentions in which the dark sides agree to send Virgil to the light sides as a way to get Thomas to listen to them more. Now if Virgil can just get along with the Light sides enough to actually start making some progress…

Absent Gods and Silent Tyranny or: How Logan Learned to Stop Over Thinking and Love Everyone in which Logan is a morally grey scientist who just works for supervillains because they pay well. He doesn’t expect someone like Virgil to change that.

Series

Clouds and Moss AU in which the sides are gods and its very gay and very good. (Intrulogical, Roceit)

Colors in which Logan is an excellent Dad, Virgil is an amazing son, and the world is very colorful. (Logicality)

Labeled in which Logan is a famous superhero, Patton is a doctor, and they adopt the would-be super villain and everything is soft and lovely and I cry at the purity. (Logicality, Remilie)

Fbi!au in which the sides work for the fbi and I diligently reread these series of oneshots for a daily dose of serotonin!  (Logince, Moxiety)

Growing Old is More Fun with You in which Patton is a PTA dad and so is Deceit and they have a “rivalry”. (Mociet)

Gilded Cage in which Roman is forced to dance for the fairy queen whenever she wants it. (Prinxiety)

Renegades! in which the sides live in a dystopia and fight the government while being completely in love with each other. (Prinxiety, Logiciality) 

Love and Other Fairytales in which a couple decides to keep their changling and their actual son, a child is cursed gifted a voice that makes people do whatever he says, a boy makes a rotten deal for the sake of his friend, and centuries before any of this, a fae prince is tricked into an endless sleep by his brother. 

The Vampire Hunting Vampire in which Virgil was turned into a monster and LPR slowly convince him he’s not as bad as he thinks he is. Through cuddles. (LAMP, DLAMP)

Wasteland, Baby! in which there are things in the woods and Patton gets,,, intimate with them. On purpose! (LAMP)

Destined in which Damian has successfully ignored his Soulmates for five years and he planned on doing it for much longer but on his twentieth birthday fate intervenes with a second soultrait that forces him to come face to face with all of them. (DLAMP)

Old Gods in which Gods sometimes walk the earth and Remus is pleased to hear that people are still making offerings to him– wait that is not a goat. And other fun stories!

Sit back and watch the world go by in which Virgil is a human abducted by alien smugglers, befriends Patton, breaks out, and everyone fears humans as space orcs, almost as much as Virgil is afraid of them. 

Teaming the Pieces Together in which Thomas is a pokemon trainer and eevees just…click with him.

Tales from the Dark Sides in which the author provides a lovely hub of works where Virgil is abused by OC dark sides and DLMPR are there to help patch him up.

Uncle Emile and the Super Nephews in which Emile gets custody of his six nephews and tries to bond with them. They in turn try very hard not to tell him they have superpowers.

Cuffed Universe in which Remus is a cop chasing after a hacker, Logan breaks the laws and Virgil would just like tO KEEP ONE JOB WITHOUT ONE OR BOTH OF THE OTHERS DRAGGING HIM INTO THEIR SHIT. (Analomus)

Ongoing Fics

The Origin in which space travel via Thomas Sanders’s ship SS Revelation gets more complicated when the Planets themselves turn out to be entities who aren’t all on board with humanity spreading to the rest of the solar system. (Remile) 

Delicato in which Logan and Patton are music professors with very different conceptions of music, and Virgil and Roman are students in both their classes who just want them to kiss already. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

Coming out of The Shadows in which a small mutant child Virgil is treated as subhuman because of his uncontrolled ability to manipulate shadows up until a scientist buys him. (Royality)

Falling Stars At My Command in which Roman wishes on a star and Patton reaps the benefits while Logan unfortunately gets dragged along for the ride. (Royality) 

Sugar in which Patton has three sons and no free time to bother with a relationship while he’s trying to manage bills. At least until Roman walks into his life. Sugar Daddy anyone? (Royality) 

A Man, a Snake, and a Rat in which Logan, Deceit, and Remus become college roomates (Intruloceit) 

a.s.h.es, ashes (We all fall down) in which after Logan almost dies during one of his recuse missions, him and his partner start to dig into the superhero agency they’re employed by and stumble into something far bigger than they expected. (Logicality, Prinxiety, LAMP? LAMP)

Keep him safe in which Detective Logan falls for the owner of his new favorite bakery while his partner Roman falls for the gang member they’re chasing. Ft: emotions, a pet rat, dealing with delusions 101, trauma, and family so gooey it literally makes me melt whenever it updates. I love this fic so much. (Advertises as Logicality and Prinxiety but theres so much LAMP I can’t not put it down here)

Multitudes in which Virgil works at a coffeeshop, pines over the customers that come in, and wonders why they all tip him so well. (LAMP)

Songbird in which the only thing keeping Virgil’s parents alive is his voice: the moment the (new) King gets tired of listening to him its off with all their heads. And Virgil’s okay with that, he is…. Until three visiting nobles leaving him wishing for his freedom for the first time since he was ten. (LAMP)

Shatter in which Logan gets fed up with not being listened to, and takes some poor advice from Rage, which ends with the entire Mindscape being turned upside down and inside out. Now its up to Deceit fix it all. (aka the author decided it was about high time Deceit got some love and appreciation and I’m out here living for it.) (DAMP)

Incredible Cosmic Power in which Virgil awakens some genies by accident and they refuse to let him go back to living a relatively normal peaceful life. (DLAMP)

Plea for my New Self in which Vampire Virgil decides he wants to start over again, and goes back to college to work on coding. There he proceeds to do reckless good with his absurd amount of wealth and a “fuck it” attitude. Actually one of my favorite things ever okay. I love this one so much. (DLAMP)

Your Wish Is My Command in which Thomas accidentally rubs six lamps and becomes the glorified babysitter to six jinn who definitely don’t trust him. But its fineeee. (DLAMP)

6 Dads in which Deceit, Emile, Remus, Roman, Thomas, and Remy make a relationship work and their children aren’t sure how but go along with it anyway.

Rebel Rebel in which Thomas, a well respected man, visits the Imagination, for some pleasure business as a one time thing. Except that he keeps coming back. Maybe maybe falls in love with one, two, thr– all of the men who work there. 

A New Kind of Experiment  in which Virgil runs away from home, and ends up kidnapped by merman, and somehow he doesn’t mind that much.

Becoming His Own Hero in which everyone has to juggle their superhero lives with their regular lives and sometimes…its just hard.

don’t wanna be a tragedy in which brothers Roman and Remus get a house and subsequently find out its totally, completely, 100% haunted.

Don’t You, Forget About Me in which the author recreates Breakfast club and does it spectacularly.

Heart’s Heroes in which Patton may be a villain but that does not mean he wants to see the child heroes of the city dead.

Mortals and Fae in which Deceit barely escapes the wrath of his town when they all turn against him. Dying, he stumbles into a fairy circle hoping that with his name the fae make his death short and sweet. Big Shock for him when he wakes up with a Fairy Prince swearing to protect him.

Sanders Family in which Thomas adopts six kids and has no regrets about it.

How Not to Go About an Important Inspection in which after a devastating betrayal the crew of the USS Bifrost is docked for repairs and the crew just wants to go back to being a normal family but Command is insisting on an inspection to ensure nothing so…drastic occurs again.

Symbiotic in which certain Vampires have a vemon that leaves with victims craving getting their blood drunken. Deceit, one of these Victims, continues to burn bridges because that’s easier than admitting he might need help dealing with this. 

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Qualified

Based off this post by @stop-it-anxiety

Summary: Virgil’s usual therapist was... unique. The man who just slumped into his seat is even unique-r. Of everything Virgil expected from the stranger, it definitely wasn’t actual advice. Pairings: Platonic sleepxiety, romantic remile, background LAMP, background RED Warnings: Sympathetic deceit (mentioned), food mention (kinda), like one swear, fears of abandonment

    Virgil hadn’t been thrilled about going to see yet another therapist. One too many bad experiences in the past had made him extremely hesitant when his boyfriends told him about Dr. Emile Picani.

    True to their word, however, Emile had been… unique, somehow in a good way. His methods weren’t orthodox, in any sense of the word, but they worked. It helped that Emile had seemed so familiar almost immediately, a feeling Virgil later attributed to how similar yet different he was from his boyfriends- logical like Logan, yet extremely bubbly like Patton. And for Roman, so much Disney. So, so much Disney.

    But it worked. Emile’s general kookiness and tendency to link problems to cartoons put Virgil more at ease than any clinical outlook at his problems ever had. It had been a few months since he first got asked, “Do you how do?” and he was doing surprisingly great.

    So, of course, now was the perfect time for things to go upside down.

   He had been anxiously checking the clock- it was normal for Emile to come in a little bit after the patient; he always had some dramatic entrance planned (Virgil was still finding glitter in his clothes from the time he had used a sparkle bomb), but five minutes late? The doc was normally very punctual- when the door opened. He glanced over, expecting to see Emile doing something positively ridiculous.

   Instead, someone in a black leather jacket and sunglasses breezed into the room, flopping into Emile’s chair and throwing their legs over one of the arms. Virgil watched, bewildered, as the stranger took a long sip from their starbucks cup.

   “So,” They drawled, letting their head roll to the side so they were actually looking at Virgil, “tell me about your emotional shit.”

   Virgil frowned, confused. “...Who are you?”

   “Emile is sick, so I’m your stand-in therapist.”

   “Did you even go to medical school?”

   “Listen, babes, we’re here to talk about you, not my qualifications.” They answered, taking another sip of their drink.

   Virgil crossed his arms. “Yeah, because talking to a wannabe rock star whose name I don’t even know and has probably never seen a degree of higher learning is going to do me a lot of good.”

   “You forgot caffeine addicted, sugar.” They replied, unfazed. “And if you want my name so bad, it’s Remy.”

   “Great.” Virgil said sarcastically. “Random stranger Remy, wannabe rock star with a coffee addiction, wants to try and help me solve my problems.”

   “Random stranger?” Remy repeated, sounding faux hurt. “I’m just a random stranger to you?”

   “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

   “Yeah I got that bit.” Remy responded. “I’m hung up on the fact that you’ve never heard of me.”

   “Should I have?”

   Remy frowned, though he still sounded more amused than upset as he grumbled, “Figures Em would be responsible… not talking about his personal life with his patients…”

   “Actually, that reminds me.” Virgil said, mostly ignoring the mumbles. “How do you even know Emile? Are you a past patient with an authority complex, or-”

   “I’m his better boyfriend.” Remy said, cutting Virgil off.

   Virgil scoffed. “Better? Oh, so it’s a superiority complex.”

   “Nah, it’s just the truth.” Remy countered. “See, Dante’s a knockout of a man, but he’s not willing to step up to bat when it matters. ‘Em’s sick, we should cancel his appointments.’ ‘No, Rem, you playing therapist is not a good idea.’ ‘I think you drinking another coffee right now will kill you do you really think you can offer any form of sane therapy.’ He’s such a killjoy.”

   “Did you ever consider he might have been right?”

   “Very briefly, yes.” Remy admitted with another sip of what Virgil now suspected to be a supposedly fatal coffee. “But listening to him wouldn’t have been much fun.”

   “So you decided to disturb your boyfriend’s patients?”

   “Of course not!” Remy replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m here to disturb a patient. You’re the only person Em was seeing today, so here I am! To deliver you helpful emotional advice!”

   Virgil chuckled. “Yeah, that’s going to go well.”

   “Well it might if you actually told me something.” Remy said, shifting in the chair so his legs were hooked over the top and his head was dangling above the ground. “Spill the tea, hunny.” He ordered while, somehow, taking a sip of his drink and neither spilling nor choking on it.

   “How- How are you doing that?” Virgil asked, thinking back to his one attempt to drink upside down. It had ended with a ruined shirt and a good two minutes of choked panic.

   “It’s an artform. Now spillllllllllll.”

   “This is extremely unprofessional.” Virgil responded before continuing, “But things are fine. There’s the fear of abandonment but that’s nothing new-”

   “Don’t care if it isn’t new.” Remy said, stopping Virgil. “Sounds important. Let’s start there.”

   Virgil raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You actually want to try and do something helpful?”

   “Did you think I wanted to hear about your most likely boring life for kicks?”

   “Basically, yeah.”

   “You give me no credit, babe. Just because I’m not certified to say helpful shit doesn’t mean I can’t.” Remy smirked. “Maybe you haven’t heard, but one of my boyfriends is a therapist. I’ve learned a lot from him.”

   “I find that doubtful, but go wild.” Virgil said, leaning back into the couch.

   Remy placed his cup down next to his head before pressing his hands together like a prayer beneath (or in this case, over) his chin. He wouldn’t have looked serious if he was sitting right-side up, but upside down just made him look even dorkier than his cartoon-adoring partner.

   “Tell me, Virgil, why do you have abandonment issues?” He asked, sounding about as professional as a five-year-old playing doctor.

   “The universe hates me.”

   “Mmhmmm yes yes let me write this down.” Remy said, nodding as he dug into his jean pocket, pulling out a silver sharpie, rolling down his jacket sleeve and scribbling ‘universe sucks’ on his arm. “Could you elaborate on that? How does it make you feel?”

   “Like I’m going to be abandoned.”

   Remy nodded again. “I see… have you considered the possibility that you are, in fact, not going to be abandoned?”

   “Miracle of miracle- my problems are solved!”

   “No need to be so sarcastic.” Remy said, jabbing his sharpie at Virgil. “My solution is airtight. But if you insist on being ‘complicated’ and having ‘complex problems’ you should probably tell me why you think everyone is going to abandon you for reasons other than the general hatred of the universe focused against you.”

   Virgil chuckled. “That’s a lot of big words you strung together.”

   “And that’s some very good discussion redirection you’re doing.”

   Virgil clicked his tongue. Mr. Indoor Sunglasses and Afternoon Coffee was smarter than he seemed. “Listen, I realize I’m worth a lot more than I thought before I started meeting with Emile. But I’m still nowhere on the level anyone I know is. The other shoe’s gotta fall and I am, stupidly, still afraid for it.”

   Remy started writing on his arm again, making bullets beneath the ‘universe sucks statement’;

   -’Imposter’ boi

   -Sad boi

   -Stupid boi

   “Hey!” Virgil exclaimed defensively. “‘Stupid boi?’ I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better about my self-worth or something, not attack me.”

   “You’ve clearly got that front covered, love, I don’t even have to touch it.” Remy replied, putting a little star next to the last bullet point for emphasis. “But while you cover the attacks, I’ll focus on the facts.”

   “Nice rhyme.”

   “I’m good like that. Now I’m not allowed to look at Em’s notes because patient confidentiality or something silly and highly technical, so you’re gonna have to lend me a hand here- who are you afraid will abandon you? Y’know, aside from everyone.”

   Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know. My boyfriends I guess.”

   “How long have y’all been dating?”

   “Two and a half years.”

   “...Sugar, I don’t know how to explain the concept of ‘if they haven’t left yet they ain’t gonna leave ever’ to you but-”

   Virgil cut him off, “That is not how relationships work. If it was the divorce rates would be a lot lower.”

   “You miss my point.” Remy said with a sigh, righting himself in the chair and for the first time that day looking actually serious. “Do relationships fail? Yes, it sucks, but it can happen to a couple of fifty years. That’s just life, sweetheart, I won’t sugarcoat it.”

   “Helpful.”

   “Let me finish. When those relationships fail, it’s because a fight or an opinion they didn’t know the other had comes up. Or something, I don’t know, I’m not a relationship counselor.” Remy added with a shrug. “What I do know, is that relationships that have existed for longer than six months don’t break up because they suddenly think one of them is worthless or some other bullshit. If your bfs are that pretentious, they would’ve dropped you ages ago-”

   “My self-esteem is doing amazingly, thanks-”

   “-and you would have been the better for it.” Remy finished, waving a finger. “You really need to stop interrupting. You miss the best parts.”

   “...What do you mean?” Virgil asked, pausing as he actually processed what Remy had said. Remy smiled, and it must have been the most gentle and genuine one he had worn all day.

   “Whether or not you’ll admit it, Virgil, you have worth. A whole hecking lot of it, as my cartoonish partner would say. If your boyfriends had left you in the beginning, it would have been their loss. And I find it highly doubtful they’re going to let you escape them now.” Remy leaned in a bit, smile morphing into a more mischievous one as he added in a stage whisper, “And if they do, I’ll help you egg their house.”

   Virgil laughed at that. “Y’know,” He started after a moment, still smiling, “you’re not as incompetent as you look.”

   “The secret is setting expectations so low, any single thing you do right is an overachievement.” Remy told him as he stood up, dramatically stretching before picking his coffee cup back up. “Now, as much fun as beating your problems with a stick is, the session’s over, and I have two boyfriends to annoy.”

   “Even the sick one?”

   “Annoyance is my primary personality trait. He knew the sort of caregiving he was signing up for.” Remy said as he moved towards the door. He stopped in the doorway for a second to turn back to Virgil with a wave. “Toodles, babes!”

   And then he was gone, just about as dramatically as he had come. Virgil remained seated on the couch for a moment, shaking his head with a smile.

   When he finally convinced himself to head out to the parking lot, he found Patton waiting, sitting on the hood of his car. He grinned broadly and waved when he spotted Virgil, greeting him with a kiss.

   “How was it today?” Patton asked while Virgil moved for the passenger door. “You were in longer than usual. Session run late?”

   Virgil shook his head with a chuckle. “Nah. Today was just… unique.”

   “Good unique or bad unique?” Patton asked hesitantly.

   “Good unique.” Virgil reassured him. “I’ll tell you what happened once we meet up with the pen and the sword.”

   Patton raised his eyebrows. “Oh, nicknames? Someone’s happy!”

   “Yeah, Pat, I am.”

   Patton smiled even bigger and turned on the car.

   ~~

   “Loves, your favorite bitch it back!”

   The house quietly regarded Remy with no response. Remy frowned as he dropped his sunglasses on the small table in the hall. He wandered to the bedroom, finding Emile curled up and watching Steven Universe, not even noticing Remy’s entrance.

   Smiling, Remy snuck around the bed, shrugging off his jacket before sliding into the bed and hugging Emile from behind. Startled, Emile turned his head, relaxing when he realized it was Remy.

   “Oh, hi Rem.” Emile said, sleepy, before his eyes widened. He tried to pull away from Remy. “You’re going to get yourself sick.”

   Remy just tightened his grip and laughed. “I have no immune system, love, I’ve been destined to get sick since your first sneeze. Plus, I will risk illness for attention and cuddles. Where’s Dante? I want triple cuddles.”

   Emile gave up trying to escape the hug, instead rolling his head so he could partially tuck it into Remy’s shoulder. “He’s getting me ice cream.”

   “What? Why?”

   “Because I’m sick and I said please.”

   “I thought ice cream was ‘unhealthy’ and ‘not for sick people.’”

   “Dante said that because when you were sick, it was from drinking too much coffee.” Emile replied. “Speaking of, you didn’t pick up any on the way to my session, did you?”

   “...No?”

   “Rem.”

   Remy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Emile’s temple. “Don’t worry, darling, I’m not going to allow for a repeat of the Coffee Disaster of May.”

   “Hmm.” Emile hummed, disbelievingly. “How was Virgil?”

   “Pretty good. Worried about his boyfriends leaving him but I casually called him stupid and everything was fixed.”

   “This is why no one believes you went to med school.”

   Remy twisted his head a bit to smirk at Emile. “Hey, my complete lack of professionalism is the entire reason you get to be the psych doc without even having to think about student loans.”

   “I know.” Emile said, moving up so he could kiss Remy. “It’s why I love you.”

   “Oh, so all I am to you is a free bachelor's and master’s degree?”

   “It’s one of the many reasons I love you.” Emile amended, yawning as he curled closer to Remy. “Along with the fact you’re a great hugger.”

   “And to think you tried to escape my hug but five minutes ago.” Remy teased, but he curled in a little more as well, quietly watching Steven Universe with his boyfriend as they both gradually fell asleep.

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Chapter Three - Origins

Heaven’s Grief

Words: 1,488

Ship: None

Warnings: Snakes eggs, mentions of a dead rabbit, manipulative deceit, vomit is mentioned but no one throws up, broken glass, Remus is mentioned, body mutation.

Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @jynxlovesluck@madly-handsome@strickenwithclairvoyance@limitededitionsanderssidesblog@ab-artist@sometimeswritingsometimesdying @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @because-were-fam-ily @gattonero17 @analogical-mess @joaniejustwokeup @whycantihavemorethan32characters 

---

A week had passed since the incident. Patton and Logan tried to go back to their normal routines; Roman and Virgil were far less fortunate. However, as a junior in high school, whatever magic powers and evil smoke men life throws at you, tests are more important.

“Are you okay?” Logan asked. “You’re shaking your leg, like, kind of a lot.”

“So are you, Poindexter,” Virgil bit back, gnawing on the skin of his thumb until it was raw with a noticeable chunk missing. “But you don’t see me getting on your ass about it.”

“Virgil,” Logan said softly. “You’ve been a lot more anxious since it happened. And if anyone is going to pick up on that, it’s me.”

“There’s a lot of differences between G.A.D and getting possessed by an evil cloud of smoke that makes you turn purple!”

Logan let out a deep breath, trying to stop himself from getting angry. He had to remember that Virgil had been through a lot lately and he was only trying to get his emotions out. Unfortunately, he was also being a massive dick.

“Students! Tests are out!” the teacher said. “Please be quiet for the duration of the period!”

Logan took one last look at Virgil, trying to reach out to him and let him know that everything would be okay. When Virgil didn’t even glance towards him, he went back to his paper with a defeated sigh. He had to stop thinking about Virgil and monsters and caves. For the next thirty minutes, all that mattered was the articles of the United States constitution.

Patton somehow couldn’t shake the sight of the rabbit from his mind. He had seen so many crazy things and barely spoken to anyone else that was there that night in a week. But the rabbit was what bothered him. He tugged on his binder as he went upstairs to class, trying to ignore how the fabric at the bottom rolled up and made it feel even tighter against his ribs. If he could survive one more class then he could hide in the bathroom during lunch and take it off for five minutes. Or ten. Or maybe the whole hour. I want to go home, he thought to himself as he kept walking.

His phone buzzed and he quickly stepped out of the flow of foot traffic to check it. It was a text from an unknown number.

“Meet me outside the chorus room during lunch. Urgent.”

Before Patton could even think of a response to type out, the warning bell rang and he found himself quickly shoving his phone back into his pocket and power walking to chemistry.

His lab partner had been absent that day, and he couldn’t tell if that was a blessing or a curse. On one hand, it was a lot easier to get work done with no one to distract you or ruin your work; on the other hand, he had nothing to distract him from the anxiety of waiting for lunch to come so he could find out who texted him. Was it Virgil? What would Virgil need him for? His heart began to race, slightly panicked but mostly hopeful. Was he officially part of their group?

He turned on the Bunsen burner and tried to burn those thoughts in the gas and fire. He had a job to do. He’d worry about the group later.

Roman packed up his music in a rush, trying not to bend anything as he slipped papers back into plastic folders but also not wanting to be late. If being friends with Logan had taught him anything, it’s not to be late to meetings. He threw his bag over his shoulder and escaped the upstream flow towards the cafeteria. He dogged bodies before falling against the chorus room’s brick walls. A breeze ruffled through his curly brown hair. He let out a calming sigh. It finally felt like fall- or at least as close to Fall as Florida ever got.

“Roman,” Patton said, his voice stuck somewhere between excitement and confusion. “Did you text me?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot you don’t have me in your contacts,” he said with a laugh. “Sorry.”

“What did you want to see me for?”

Roman patted the ground next to him, inviting Patton to sit while he dug through his bag. Roman has always been the tallest of the group but his height was significantly more noticeable next to Patton. He pulled a jar out of his bag, it held an egg with yellow spots that gave off a subtle glow.

“No more dead animals,” Patton pleaded.

“Relax, this egg is empty,” he explained, turning to show Patton where it had broken open. “I saw the baby snake this morning,” he lied, “and it’s very much alive.”

“O...kay. But what does this have to do with me?”

“Well, you were with us that night. What if this is the next spirit? Don’t you want to be part of this too?”

Patton panicked. Of course, he wanted to be part of their group, but what did that even mean anymore? Did he have a choice over whether this spirit- Monster- Thing picked him or not? What would happen if it did?!

“Did Remus have anything to do with this?” Patton asked.

Roman let out a sigh, keeping his eyes on the ground. “Yeeaaah.”

“And you trust him?”

“I don’t want to! But I can’t help but feel like he’s right about this! Ever since he took over, I can’t help but feel like I’m supposed to be connected to you and to this!”

“Roman, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Truthfully? Neither do I,” he confessed. “But please-“ He put the jar in Patton’s hands- “just try, okay? We just need to see what happens.” Roman got up and walked away, leaving Patton completely alone with the jar.

He stuffed the jar into his bag, hoping to forget about it for a few hours. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t do it. The jar was always on his mind through every test, every lecture, and every homework assignment.

Eventually, he had no choice but to face it head-on. He took the jar out of his bag and placed it on his desk, staring at it intently. “What do you want from me?!” he yelled at it. The jar did not answer, as it is a jar.

“What? You- You’re here to torment me?! Because Roman and Virgil are- they’re- UGH!” He slammed his head into the desk and looked at his watch. It was nearly midnight and he could feel himself losing his mind to sleep deprivation.

Tormented by your own mind. It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? This deeply human ability to split oneself in two?

Patton groaned. “I don’t need this. I don’t need to suffer like Virgil and Roman are. I’m- I’m fine just hanging out with Emile. I only need Emile.”

Oh, of course, you’re fine. You got a taste of belonging. You don’t need anymore. You’re perfectly fine with being alone when Emile leaves you.

Tears pricked at Patton’s eyes. “You’re not real.”

Oh that’s where you’re wrong, young one. I’m as real as the earth and sky. I’m as real as flesh and blood. As real as the monster under your bed.

“Get out of my head!” Patton yelled, knocking the jar to the ground. It shattered and he jumped, his heart pounding in his chest as yellow smoke grew from the remains. The smoke took on the shape of a man with his left arm extended towards Patton and a snake coiled up in his hand. The snake curiously slithered out of his hand, though always connected from the end of its tail to the tip of the man’s fingers, and wrapped itself around Patton’s neck.

“Get out of your head?” The snake asked with a laugh.

“First,” the man of smoke continued, “I’d have to get in.”

The snake forced Patton’s mouth open and slithered inside as the rest of the smoke quickly followed, muting the boy’s pained screams and sobs. When all the smoke had cleared Patton found himself coughing and crying with his stomach twisting in knots. He ran to the bathroom half afraid of throwing up and half hoping that if he did vomit he’d be back to normal as if nothing happened. Instead, he splashed water on his face to cool himself down. He looked up at the mirror and hardly recognized his reflection. Water dripped from his face and his hair. He gripped the counter, holding on as if it were the only thing keeping him from falling away into a different universe as he saw himself with one eye hazel and human and the other yellow and monstrous. He frantically grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and made a call that would change his life.

[sidespromptblog]

Away: Part 4

One, Two, Three, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, End

Summary: There’s no point staying in a place that does not welcome and loves you, there’s no point in causing yourself daily pain for people who would love for you to never exist again. That’s why he has to do this, to be selfish for himself, in a way that his host and the others could never grasp.

“So what are your plans for Halloween?”

Looking up from his partially eaten sandwich and his thermos full of rapidly cooling tea, Deceit quirked a single eyebrow back at Emile as the doctor looked at him from his slouched position against Deceit’s desk.  It was already the middle of October, and with the frightful chill that had gripped the city, everyone was acting as if Halloween was just around the corner. Personally, he didn’t see what was so great about, Thomas had thought about it plenty, and had participated in it plenty until he had been too old to keep going out. Eventually, he had settled for just giving out candy, but even then, it was a holiday that Deceit didn’t really pay too much attention to if he was being entirely honest. That was how it went for just about every holiday, the light sides had always cared about those kinds of things a lot more than the others ever had. It was just a fact of life, they didn’t do that kind of thing.

He answered with a half-hearted shrug, before he dragged his eyes back over to the tiny screen that was precariously propped up against his worn and threadbare lunch box. They had been breezing through the surprising number of episodes that Emile had saved on his phone.

“I dunno,” He finally mumbled, his fingers drumming in a monotone beat against the surface of his desk. “I’ve never exactly celebrated before so-”

“WHAT?!” Emile’s extremely loud and sudden exclamation earned him a sharp flinch from Deceit, as the other man’s spine straightened almost instantly at what Deceit could only guess was somehow terribly horrific news. “You’ve never celebrated… like at all?” He questioned, his warm brown eyes seemed to dissect Deceit’s slow and unsure nod, as if Emile was a grenade about to go off yet again. “Do you want to? Celebrate it I mean?”

At Emile’s earnest look Deceit felt himself deflate just a little bit as his hands slid into his lap, where he fiddled with his thumbs a little bit.

Emile most certainly didn’t understand it, but every single time he offered, and every single time he suggested doing something with his own free time with his colleague he always seemed to get so bashful and… well surprisingly shy about the subject. There was no way that he could have known what the real reasoning behind it was, but it always made his heart feel unbearably heavy to see that look that would cross his friend’s mismatched eyes. Like in a past life, with someone he didn’t know… someone hadn’t been that kind to Dee, someone had excluded him and left him completely alone to fend for himself. He doubted it was ‘just nothing’ as his friend liked to say, he wasn’t a therapist for nothing. But…

It was one of the very few things that made that ticker in his chest burn with a protective rage that would have rivaled even that of Te Ka after her heart had been taken from her.

Deceit snorted out aloud, disrupting Emile from whatever internal thoughts he was having at that moment. “I’m not sure if you’re aware Em, but where I live isn’t exactly conducive to tricker or treaters, I’m certain that just last week some dude got stabbed in the gut over a jug of milk.” This wasn’t exactly far from the truth, but it was probably best if Emile didn’t know the full details of his living arrangements. It wasn’t exactly professional to go on a rant about how his heating was no longer working and the landlord was being too snooty to even think of wasting the money to fix the damn thing, so he had resorted to heating up water bottles just so that he didn’t get too cold in the middle of the night.

The lack of sleep was entirely worth it, if it meant staying warm and not getting sick.

“What a sour way to go,” The other man jokingly said right back at him, and for a moment Deceit was split between the idea of beating himself over the head with his own thermos at the terrible pun, or just snorting at it again in the hopes he wouldn’t have to hear another one. He chose the latter of the two. “Anyways,” Emile straightened himself up, a bright warm smile darting across his lips. “That isn’t what I meant, why don’t you celebrate with me? My place usually gets trick or treaters all the time, and my partner wouldn’t mind the extra company. I’m absolutely positive that he’d love you! You could spend the night and just come with me to work the next day if you’re good with that.”

 Deceit felt the energy in his body fly right out of his body at that one word.

Partner.

Fucking partner.

He didn’t know why he felt like a dementor had just sucked the soul right out of his body, leaving him chilled right down to his core, bone-weary, and so very very tired. But just watching Emile rattle on and on, he couldn’t help but to stare without really hearing any of the words that were being said to him. His mouth felt as dry as a sandy desert, but even so, he didn’t trust himself enough to even think about picking up his thermos to take a sip from it. Surely his hand would shake, or he would drop it and Emile would ask why. And he’d be forced to either tell him the truth or..or lie right to his face about why he was acting so weird.

The very notion.. just the thought of it twisted his stomach like someone had just reached inside of him to fiddle around with his internal organs.

“Dee?”

Deceit’s head snapped up in one quick motion, almost immediately locking his eyes onto Emile’s worried one that worriedly stared back at him.

“Are you okay? You don’t have to celebrate it if you don’t want to, I was just offering and-”

Before Emile could so much as get a single other word out, Deceit felt his hand jerk forward like he was a puppet being led on a string, as he seized Emile’s hand. The motion itself felt almost detached from his very person, like he wasn’t actually the one doing it, as well as the nervous flighty smile that felt all wrong on his face as he gave the other’s hand a gentle squeeze before abruptly dropping it to his lap. His mouth felt even drier than ever, and swallowing was no help at all as he merely smiled again counting the seconds that he hadn’t said something when Emile was clearly expecting him to.

He swallowed again, “I’d love to celebrate with you and your partner, I think that it would be…” Terrible, disastrous, horribly embarrassing, and a complete trainwreck. So many other words that could possibly describe how the night would turn out with him and Emile’s so-called partner. Who would without a single doubt in his mind, hate him. “Absolutely wonderful.”

The beaming smile that he got in return said it all, as the other man turned back to his phone pressing the play button so that they could continue to watch their cartoons for the rest of their break. Deceit couldn’t even focus on what he was seeing on the screen, as the all-encompassing dread and fear weighed down on his chest threatening to crush his lungs into a bloody pulp until there was nothing left.

He was well and truly...fucked to hell and back.

And now, there was no getting out of it.

[ambersky0319]

Some Princani/Romile Stuff

I'm disappointed that there's so little content for this ship and I just

I need the fluff

And maybe angst

So some headcanons since I also can't seem to fall asleep- please feel free to add on!

---------------

They binge Disney movies every Friday and Sunday night

And binge Steven Universe every other Wednesday

Sometimes they just start a show together and accidentally either fall in love with it or despise it and there's no inbetween

Emile is really passionate about it

Also Roman's not allowed to cook.

Last time Emile let him, Roman nearly caught himself on fire somehow?? And Emile has never trusted him alone in the kitchen since

He honestly thinks it's a family thing since Virgil said the same thing happened with their partner Remus

Roman's an early bird and Emile a night owl

Ever since they started dating Roman started to go see a therapist after opening up a bit to Emile and Emile just went "yeah okay you're going to see this person now you need to talk to someone about this"

Can be anything really that's happened to Ro but just imagine it being something he originally brushed off as not actually traumatic

After every session Emile usually cuddles Roman once they're both home and plays some songs from Roman's favorite musicals

Roman wakes up Emile by peppering kisses all over his face

Emile often persuades Roman to sleep for a bit longer

It's less persuasion and just being adorable and clinging to Roman while half asleep and mumbling a bit coherently about how warm Roman is

Roman is a human furnace and Emile's actually a walking freezer

Roman loves playing with Emile's hair

They propose at the same time, both in tears from laughing and at the thought of them being engaged

Celebrate every holiday as if it's the most important thing in existence

And every anniversary, from their first date to their first kiss to the first time they met, the first 'I Love You' ever whispered. They celebrate all that.

Oh Emile's ace btw(also sex-repulsed)

They went on a break for a bit when Roman had made Em really uncomfortable with some sexual advances

They worked it out and Roman felt terrible, after they actually talked about their boundaries and ended the night cuddling

They adopt triplet girls and one slightly older boy; their names are Harper, Juliet, Penny, and Oliver and they love them so much

The kids very much love that their dads celebrate every little thing and started coming up with their own things to celebrate

Oh also these two are definitely not the first in their friend group to be married. Nope.

Because Deceit and Logan got married to spite their parents and it happened right before Roman and Emile got engaged

They speak in cartoons and confuse the hell out of everyone else cause one reference could be completely unrelated to whichever one comes next

Can you tell I'm tired? Anywho imma go to bed y'all enjoy this-

[teardr0ppeddew]

since you are my sanders sides idol may I present to you: mafia au! based around RED (remy, emile, deceit) in which Dee is a mafia leader, Remy is a dancer and Emile is a college student. They're all in ~love~ and it's so cute and Logan is the head of the police force, Roman is a deputy, and Patton is a secretary. Virgil is Roman's partner, and Remus runs a rival gang

(hello first i cried because im ur idol??? dew.exe has stopped working AA-)

and secondly im a sucker for mafia au’s! and i haven’t heard of RED, that’s a really interesting ship choice and ill have to look into it! Dee as a mafia leader, now, that is p e r f e c t. Remy is a dancer?! heck yea, i can totally see the sassy coffee man doing sick moves! and emile as a college student sure is the cherry on top, overall it’s a wonderful and combo that somehow fits with all of them! 

the ‘light’ sides are in the police force which makes me imagine all the chaos that happens at the police station lol. all of their roles fit them too, cause since logan is the head of the police force i can totally see him being the tired mom of the group TM. and lastly remus, oh my gosh. him running a gang = end of the entire world LOL. but i can see him being a lil mischievous rat and purposefully throw the police off their tracks in different cases, or just cause chaos with dee lolll!!! overall i l o ve this au so far, im excited to see what you’ll do with it!