#Dave Filoni I'm gonna fight you personally

[twocrowssinatrenchcoat]

I think Timothy Zahn should have a full custody over a child (Thrawn).

Dave Filoni just doesn't get him like he does.

[cuddles-with-dragons]

where the fuck is my impulse control

Yeah, Avengers AU.

Don't care what you say, I tried to make it work.

Including edited quotes from Avengers and Age of Ultron

I replaced Hulk with the Zillo Beast.

---

Dave Filoni: Superheroes in New York? Give me a break.

Echo: We won.

Hunter: All right, yay! Hurray. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I want to try it.

Wrecker: We're not finished yet.

Hunter: And then shawarma after.

Echo: Is he breathing?

Tech, in lizard form: *roars in his face*

Hunter: What the hell? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.

Hunter: Tell him to suit up. I'm bringing the party to you. *a giant Chitauri is following him*

Omega: I don't see how that's a party.

Echo: Tech. Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.

Tech: That's my secret, Echo. I'm always angry.

Omega: Just like Budapest all over again.

Crosshair: You and I remember Budapest very differently.

Hunter, to Scorch: Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it.

Crosshair: Why am I back? How did you get him out?

Omega: Cognitive recalibration. I hit you really hard on the head.

Crosshair: Thanks.

Crosshair: Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out and stuff something else in? Do you know what it's like to be unmade?

Omega: You know that I do.

Mace Windu: There was an idea, Hunter knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Cody died still believing in that idea. In heroes.

Echo: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?

Hunter: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

Mace Windu: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the Cube. And I would like to know how Scorch used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.

Wrecker: Monkeys? I don't get it.

Echo: I do! I understood that reference!

Hunter: It’s good to meet you, Tech. Your work on antielectron collisions is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous Godzilla lizard.

Tech: Thanks.

Hunter: The only major component he still needs is a power source of high-energy density. Something to kick-start the Cube.

Ahsoka: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?

Hunter: Last night.

Hunter: Raise the mizzenmast. Jib the topsails. *points to Anakin* That man is playing Galaga. He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did. *covers one of his eyes* How does Windu even see these?

Ahsoka: He turns.

Hunter: Sounds exhausting.

Wrecker: Don't talk like that. Scorch is beyond reason, but he's from Asgard. And he's my brother.

Omega: He killed 80 people in two days.

Wrecker: He’s adopted.

Echo: Is this a submarine?

Tech: Really? They want me in a submerged, pressurised, metal container? *walks to the side of the deck* No, no, this is much worse.

Cody: We need you to come in.

Omega: Are you kidding? I'm working.

Cody: This takes precedence.

Omega: I'm in the middle of an interrogation. This moron is giving me everything.

Bad guy: I don't... give everything.

Omega: Look, you can't pull me out of this right now.

Cody: Omega... Crosshair's been compromised.

Omega: Let me put you on hold.

Hunter: Shit!

Echo: Language!

*Some chatter and fighting later…*

Hunter: Wait a second. No one else is gonna deal with the fact that Echo just said “Language”?

Echo: I know. Just slipped out.

*Some more chatter and fighting later…*

Wrecker: Find the spear-thingy.

Hunter: And for gosh sake, watch your language!

Echo: That’s not going away any time soon.

Omega: Wrecker, report on the Zillo.

Wrecker: The gates of Hel are filled with the screams of his victims.*Omega gives him a look* But not the screams of the dead, of course. No, no, wounded screams. Mainly whimpering, a great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids and gout.

Echo: The two Enhanced?

Ahsoka: Leia and Luke Skywalker. Twins. Orphaned at 10 when a shell collapsed their apartment building. Sokovia's had a rough history. It's nowhere special, but it's on the way to everywhere special.

Echo: Their abilities?

Ahsoka: He's got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neuroelectric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation.

Echo: *confused*

Ahsoka: He's fast and she's weird.

Ahsoka: Lab's all set up, boss.

Hunter: *points to Echo* Actually, he's the boss. I just pay for everything and design everything and make everyone look cooler.

Tech: How's he doing?

Hunter: Unfortunately, he's still Crosshair.

Tech: That's terrible.

Hunter: Right, so, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?

Wrecker: Yes, of course.

Hunter: I will be reinstituting prima nocta. *tries to lift the hammer* I'll be right back.

Hunter: *Tries again with the Iron Man glove, nothing. Makes Rex take his glove too and they both try to lift it.*

Rex: Are you even pulling?

Hunter: Are you on my team?

Rex: Just represent. Pull.

Hunter: All right, let’s go.

*Echo tries next*

Hunter: Come on, Echo.

Echo: *makes it move a tiny bit*

Wrecker, nervously laughing: Nothing.

Echo: Sorry for barging in on you.

Hunter: Yeah, we would've called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.

Luke, in a police station: We’re under attack! Clear the city! Now! *No one’s doing anything, comes back with a gun and fires in the air* Get off your asses.

Crosshair, to Leia: Hey, look at me. It’s your fault, it’s everyone’s fault. Who cares? Are you up for this? Are you? Look, I just need to know. Because the city is flying. Okay. Look, the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.

Luke: Keep up, old man! *takes Leia and runs off*

Crosshair: Nobody would know. Nobody. “The last I saw him, an Ultron was sitting on him. Yeah, he'll be missed, that quick little bastard. I miss him already.”

Crosshair: All right, we're all clear here.

Echo: We are not clear! We are very not clear!

Luke: This is S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Echo: This is what S.H.I.E.L.D. is supposed to be.

Luke: This isn't so bad.

Luke: *Shoves Crosshair and a kid behind cover and gets shot multiple times in the leg* You didn't see that coming?

[david-talks-sw]

Hi! I’m a big fan of your SW takes (particularly ones addressing the criticism towards Jedi) lol

I was wondering what you thought of the Deception arc in TCW? Personally with most of the Jedi’s decisions during TCW i feel like they’re making the best choices they can, but with this arc it seems almost uncharacteristically cruel. Even if Anakin had not been attached to Obi-Wan (which the council surely knew he was?), his death would’ve been very painful to Anakin. Doesn’t that kind of go against Jedi compassion and the kindness we consistently see?

Again I’d love your take on this, but either way I’ll continue to enjoy your blog in the future!

Hey @soopisoop! Thank you very much for the kind words 🙌! I'm glad to hear you enjoy the posts!

So I lightly touched on the "Obi-Wan undercover" arc in this older, more general post about Anakin's relationship with the Jedi Council, but, hey, let's zoom in!

Not telling Anakin... was wrong. Plain and simple.

Yoda says so himself.

But the train of thought was:

"The chancellor - leader of the free world - is gonna die if we don't do this, so the stakes are high. We gotta send Obi-Wan deep undercover behind enemy lines, but Anakin is very close to him and known for being volatile, so there's a 50/50 chance he'll go AWOL and fuck the mission up and those are unacceptable odds."

It's not an excuse, but a justification.

And, in a slightly different context, Anakin seems to use this justification too.

Hell, if anything, Anakin thinks the Jedi should employ even harsher methods in the war and that their values are holding them back.

It's just that, in this case, it hit closer to home.

There's a "hypocrisy" argument to be made, but honestly... that's the Clone War in a nutshell for you!

The Jedi repeatedly told the Senate and the Chancellor "please don't ask us to fight, we're not made for this, we're diplomats, we act on compassion not violence”...

... because they knew that's what the war would force them to do: compromise on their values, tarnish every principle that defines them and that they hold dear, turn them into hypocrites.

Yes, the Jedi are compassionate, but they're also at war, and they're forced to pick between two shitty choices on the daily.

And the deciding factor, EVERY time, is not "which option is the better/more compassionate one" but "which option does less damage?"

Lying to Anakin is just one of these hard "no other choice" choices.

And EVERY time they see an opportunity to step back from the fighting and let diplomacy start again, guess what Palpatine says?

"Fuck you, go back to the front."

And when you listen to Dave Filoni's commentary on this arc, it turns out that this whole plan by Dooku and Morallo Eval was actually engineered by Palpatine to:

1) Distance him even further from the Jedi so Palpatine can swoop in and manipulate him more and more.

2) Set the board for another Anakin vs Dooku confrontation, to gauge how much more powerful Anakin has become.

"Y’know, ultimately, what we realize is that the whole thing is a fake-out on the Jedi. That Dooku is conspiring with Sidious to set-up this whole bounty hunter plot to make the Jedi believe that they have once again saved the day, and it’s all an effort to get Anakin isolated. So what I really liked about this story that, y’know— as George handed it out, was: we tell the story that’s really about Anakin and Palpatine trying to tempt him to the Dark Side… and we tell it more from Obi-Wan’s point of view. And you see this whole other tale that’s going on, and we check in with Palpatine and Anakin every now and then, until finally, it’s really about them and their struggle. And we see that this is a point that Anakin really wasn’t ready to become the Sith apprentice. He wasn’t strong enough, I think there’s a possibility that Dooku would’ve killed him here." - Dave Filoni, The Clone Wars: “Obi-Wan undercover” video commentary, 2012

So, again, like... sure. The Jedi made a mistake.

But ultimately, had Palpatine not hatched this particular plan, hell, had he not engineered a whole war designed to corrupt the Jedi's morals... that mistake would never have been made in the first place.

To use an analogy:

If a dude tries to make his way in a pitch black room (the Jedi playing catch-up to Sidious' plans) and steps on a Lego brick (their mistakes)... you don't blame him for it, you blame the guy who turned the light off and emptied the Lego box on the floor in the first place (Sidious).