#Dark!Kollos x Reader

[deepspacedukat]

From Never To Always

Welcome to the second installment of the Dark!Tales Halloween Series in collaboration with @bigblissandlove1!

This nearly 10k word oneshot is centered around a dark version of my Vulcan OC, Kollos. It's set in the Mirror Universe (but this isn't necessarily how I see the actual Mirror!Kollos behaving - it's complicated), so the usual warnings for mirror universe bigotry and violence apply. The Mirror Universe is a warning in itself, so do be aware and keep that in mind as the story progresses. This version of Kollos has had it rough. He's angry, he has killed, and he will do so again, but he's sexy, so it's fine...because fiction. 🤷‍♀️ Anyway, enjoy!

Cross-posted to AO3 here. Find the rest of the Halloween Dark!Tales Halloween Series on AO3 here.

~*~

Dark!Kollos (OC) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut adjacent and includes mature themes, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Implied interspecies sex, implied Human/Vulcan sex, sexual fantasizing, brief masturbation, hungry gazes, canon-typical violence, enemies to lovers, pining, mutual pining (even if Kollos doesn't realize it in any universe), angst, threats, Kollos denying his own feelings, mild bigotry, the mirror universe and all its horrors, agony booth is mentioned but not used, Kollos is a vengeful freedom fighter in this AU so take that how you will, mentions of blood, injuries, decapitation, all smut/implied smut is consensual.

~*~

Staring at the viewscreen of their stolen Terran warship, Kollos polished the blade end of his lirpa. The arced metal had several scratches and marks down its length, but it had served him faithfully for many decades. He had longed to go down to the surface of this remote planet for today's attack, but he owed his second in command a turn on a landing team.

Besides, there would be nobody left to fight. Their orbital bombardment would've left little more than ashes and ruins in their wake. Muroc enjoyed looting more than he did hand-to-hand combat, anyway, so the choice to send him was a logical one. They'd expended a small number of their stolen ship's torpedoes in today's impressive display of efficient annihilation. No doubt, this would send yet another message to the Terran Empire that Vulcans could and would have their freedom. It was simply a matter of time...and blood.

"Osu, we have captured a survivor," a voice called over the comms. He recognized it immediately as Muroc's. The younger man sounded as confused as he felt.

"...Repeat your previous statement."

"A Terran woman survived the attack," Muroc reiterated, and Kollos set down his lirpa and cloth.

"That isn't possible. We confirmed that there were no life signs after the bombardment. You should be locating only usable supplies–"

"I am aware of that, but even now she is struggling to escape from my grip - a futile effort, obviously."

Kollos thought silently for a moment before reaching a decision.

"Have one of your guards bring her to the ship. I wish to interrogate her," he ordered, and when the channel closed, a small smirk stretched his lips. Perhaps he would be able to satiate his bloodlust today after all.

He knew the impulse was a savage one, but then, how better to defeat savage beings than by beating them at their own game? Vulcans had attempted a logical, passive approach to resistance. It had failed. Thus, Kollos had met up with others of his species who shared his desire to topple the oppressive Terran Empire and formed a small rebel army.

Logic alone could not prevail in their struggle for freedom. They needed to use force. Violence was all Terrans understood, and who better to outdo them than the people whose past had made a desert run green with their own blood? If the Humans believed they were savages before, they had seen nothing yet. Kollos had vowed to make them see the error of their ways, to continue until the Terrans were kneeling beaten and bloody at their feet, pleading for the mercy that they themselves had not bothered to show to any species but their own.

Kollos stood and ran a hand through his scruffy graying hair, picking up his weapon. With a deep breath, he rolled his scarred, muscled shoulders and looked to the Vulcan at the Operations station.

"I shall await the arrival of our latest prisoner. You have the Bridge."

--

Most Terrans protested their capture, tossing out threats and swearing vengeance, but this one was strangely silent. Curiosity was painted plainly across her face from the moment Kollos laid eyes on her. Sitting on the bench in the brig, she tilted her head like an inquisitive sehlat when he entered the space.

Muroc paused beside his makeshift commander and spoke in a low voice.

"I realize you wanted me to send someone else, but given the circumstances, I believed it would be prudent for me to bring her here myself. After her initial struggle, she seemed to recognize me and ceased her resistance," he stated sounding slightly disconcerted. "She seemed confused about many things: her location, my appearance...she even seemed not to understand the hostilities between her people and ours."

"How did she survive the bombardment?" Muroc merely shook his head and looked at her as if she was some scientific experiment gone wrong.

"I do not know."

The two Vulcans were silent for a moment, observing the woman they'd discovered. She wasn't dressed like the rest of the Terrans they'd encountered, nor did she seem arrogant and prejudiced. However, Kollos knew from experience that appearances could be deceiving.

"She recognized your voice, as well, osu," Muroc murmured, and Kollos looked sharply over at him. "When you responded to me over the comms, she waited until the channel was closed and said that she wished to speak with you. She knew you by name. By that point, she was behaving quite obediently."

Looking back at the Human, Kollos found her smiling softly at him. Anger stirred deep within him, and he took a slow, even breath.

"Leave us. I wish to speak with her alone." He waited until Muroc and the guards had all exited before opening the door to her cell. "If you attempt to resist or escape, I will kill you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, osu." She spoke quietly, but her words still struck him as hard as a punch to the jaw. He blinked and tamped down his emotions.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked lingering in the doorway. His broad shoulders effectively blocked the way as he crossed his arms, so he wasn't concerned about her being able to slip past him. She didn't even seem bothered about being kept in the brig.

"Yes, osu. You're Minister Kollos of the Vulcan High Command." With a stunned blink, his arms dropped to his sides once more. "You're the first person I met when I reached the Vulcan Embassy...the first Vulcan who honored me with his friendship."

'Friendship'? Kollos would sooner eat his own liver than befriend a Terran. A subconscious sneer curled his upper lip, and he saw her smile droop.

"You...? You don't remember me, do you? Sub-commander Muroc didn't either." She sounded genuinely disappointed, but Kollos couldn't bring himself to care. This little wretch had the audacity, not only to survive, but to come aboard his ship, claim to know him personally, and speak the language of his own people - one that had been made illegal by her Empire.

He knew several Vulcans who had been punished for breathing a single word of their own language around a Terran, himself included. The hours he'd spent locked in an agony booth were certainly enough to cut away any remaining neutrality he'd held for Humans. Hatred had filled that void and now bubbled hot and lethal in his veins.

If his composure was any more fractured, he'd have removed the burden of her head from her shoulders the moment a syllable of Vuhlkansu touched her unworthy, arrogant tongue.

"We are not acquainted, nor would I wish to befriend a single member of your monstrous species." His voice had dropped into a quiet, dangerous register, but she didn't seem frightened. Damn her, why wasn't she intimidated? "You are incorrect on other points, as well. There is no Vulcan High Command - the Terran Empire would never allow their slaves to hold such authority. Muroc is not a Sub-commander - again, your people would never allow us in such high positions. There is no Vulcan embassy, but there are prisons...work camps...slaves. Do you wish to retract your statement?"

She looked up at him with her lips parted in surprise.

"But...but that can't be. Starfleet's mission was to seek out new life...to make friends while we explore the galaxy. The ship we're aboard is the Enterprise, isn't it?"

Kollos shook his head.

"This ship was an Imperial Starfleet ship, but it is now under new ownership and has been renamed. You are currently aboard the Retribution, a ship owned by the Vulcan Resistance Movement," he said straightening up and looking at her with as much defiance as he could muster. "I am the commanding officer."

She looked utterly flabbergasted.

"Osu–"

"You will not speak our language! You have no right, Terran!" He roared, and she flinched. "You will be silent and cause no trouble, or I will use you to test just how much pain one member of your species can endure. We have not had the opportunity to test one of the Terran Empire's Agony Booths on one of their creators yet. If you behave yourself, there will be no reason for you to become the first. Am I understood?"

She nodded her head quietly, but he couldn't deny the pain and sadness in her expression. As he strode from the cell, he tamped down the shard of guilt he felt over losing his temper at her. She'd caused no trouble yet, but who knows? She might be trying to infiltrate his organization and topple them from the inside. Kollos could not risk the future of his people on the chance that this Human was different from the rest of her people.

The sting of the life they'd stolen from him still gripped his heart and twisted his insides with agony every time he dwelled for too long upon what could have been. If the Empire didn't exist, would he have been fortunate enough to have a mate? A permanent home? Perhaps even a child? The stories of how life used to be before the Terrans took over always sounded so idyllic. If he'd lived during that time, would he have a pet sehlat? Could he have immersed himself in more academic pursuits, like science?

Pausing as the lift door closed behind him, Kollos forced himself to take a deep breath. As always, those scenarios that had been snatched away before they had a chance to come into being gnawed incessantly at his brain. He needed to focus on the mission, instead. That was how he was going to survive this war for Vulcan's freedom.

He would gladly spill the blood of every living Terran if it meant future generations of Vulcans would not have to suffer as he had.

It was too bad, though, that he would not be contributing to the gene pool for that future generation. He would've liked to have a family. A mate, a child or two...yes, and a sehlat to protect them all.

When the lift door opened again, Kollos had forced his control back into place, shoved away his pain, and come back to himself. He couldn't afford to waste time with wishful thinking. He had a mission to complete.

--

This was clearly not the Kollos with whom I'd become so familiar. From the moment he raged at me in the brig of his ship, it was obvious that this was an entirely different man. His hair was slightly longer and grayer, and it looked unkempt compared to the Minister's usual appearance. However shaggy it looked, though, it did at least appear soft and clean.

As for the man himself, this Kollos was tough and scarred - obviously battleworn and teeming with bitterness. His physical strength wasn't what startled me, though. His barely-tethered anger did that well enough on its own.

The Kollos I had spoken to barely hours before had been in complete control of his emotions. This one, however...he'd seemed to be on the cusp of losing control and becoming savage like the ancient Vulcans about whom I'd been told so much. He'd been through a lot, this remade Kollos, and from what I could gather, his bitterness was justified.

There were several questions prodding at me insistently, though, the chief of which was whether I'd be able to get home to the universe I knew, because, clearly, this was somewhere entirely different. The second most prominent inquiry was what the hell had happened?

While viewing a scientific experiment as a member of a cultural exchange program on a planet at the edge of Vulcan space, there had been an explosion, a flash of pinkish light, and I'd been knocked to the ground by some unseen force. My vision swam so severely that I'd no choice but to close my eyes.

When I opened them again, my skin tingled, and everything was burning. I'd looked around, squinting through the flames, but there was nobody else in sight. Maybe they'd all gotten out, already? Stumbling toward the exit while trying to stay low, I managed to make it out of the crumbling ruin of a building, but where I expected to see a small, well-maintained city there was only rubble and flame.

Shocked at what I'd found, a small scream worked its way out of my throat. Had a single failed experiment caused all of this? Surely not! This appeared to be planet-wide devastation. The scale of the experiment wouldn't have been capable of destroying much more than a building or two if it went wrong. Besides, the Vulcan scientists conducting it had been so careful. They'd made sure that every precaution was in place.

So how the hell was this region of the planet basically destroyed?

And how was I still alive?

A familiar hum sounded from a few feet away, and several Vulcans in odd outfits materialized. Relief had rushed through me like a great wave, and before I could think better of my actions, before I even noticed that they were all armed and slightly ragged looking, my feet propelled me toward them.

"Oh, thank goodness! Help! Please, I don't know if there's anyone trapped in the–" Four phaser rifles were aimed at me in a fraction of a second. I froze in place, confused more than ever. "W-What are you–?"

"Silence!" One of them ordered, and I broke off my attempts to speak. The same man stepped forward. "Are there others? Did anyone else survive the bombardment?"

What?

"I don't know what you're talking about. I-I was in the lab, and there was an explosion, and when I got up I was here," I stammered, but he seemed not to believe me. "Nothing looks the same. Where am I? Aren't you here to help the injured?"

One of the others scoffed.

"You must have sustained cranial trauma. Why would a Vulcan help Terran scum like you?"

Startled, I could do no more than blink.

"I-I don't understand...? Our people are allies–"

"Allies?" The man closest to me - the familiar one - scowled down at me. "Is that how your species assuages your guilt? By calling your slaves your allies?"

I gaped up at him, but before I could protest, he grabbed my upper arm. I struggled, and when he called his ship, I heard a voice that was so out of place that it barely registered at first. That's when I recognized my captor.

Muroc hadn't believed me when I said I knew him, but I had gotten to see Kollos in the end. Before he raged at me, I thought I saw...well, a glimpse of the man I'd known. Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though.

The lights dimmed a couple of hours after he left. With a sigh, I resigned myself to my current imprisonment and resolved to prove to Kollos that I wasn't going to try to oppress him the way he claimed Humanity had already done to his people. The first step, though, needed to be finding out more about this place. What had my people truly done? Were he and the others justified in their hatred? Somehow, I already knew I wouldn't like the answer.

--

Over the course of the next few days, all I saw was the inside of my cell. Each afternoon - or at least, I assumed it was during the afternoon - a different Vulcan brought me a ration pack and a small glass of water to wash it down. Apparently, these officers weren't able to get their hands on a more stable food supply. That didn't bode well.

Occasionally, just before lights out, Kollos came by and asked me a series of seemingly innocuous questions.

"Are you from Earth or a Terran planetary annex?"

"Have you encountered many of my kind?"

"Do you have a family?"

"How has the quality of your sleep been since you took up residence in this cell?"

Finally, though, when he tired of those, his queries became a bit more pointed. Repeatedly he asked me how I survived the blast, but he simply didn't believe that I was just as puzzled as he was. One night, after something like two weeks in captivity, I'd become irritated enough to snap at him.

"Again, I ask you: how did you survive the assault?" He'd already asked the question three times, and after two weeks of awful sleep on the cramped little bench that passed as a bed in my cell, my back ached, I was tired, and I'd just plain had enough. "Your non-compliance will cease. You will tell me how you–"

"I don't know, alright?! Just mind-meld with me if you want the answer that badly! You won't even have to force me. I'll submit to one right now, if it'll stop you asking the same damned questions over and over like a broken fucking record," I ground out, and he raised his eyebrows.

"You...would willingly submit yourself to such a procedure?" The disbelief in his voice was understandable if he'd been telling the truth about Humans being so awful.

"Yes, but only if you're the one performing it."

Taken aback by my willingness, he opened the cell door and gestured for me to stand.

"We will go to the briefing room, and your meld will be witnessed by my most trusted officers," he said. "Out of respect for your good behavior since your capture, I will warn you in advance. If I sense any intentional resistance during the meld, I will cease being gentle and tear the information I require from your synapses. I would prefer to avoid such an action, as it can lead to permanent brain damage, but if you purposefully resist me, I will not hesitate to do so. Do you understand?"

"Yes, os–I mean, sir. Yes, sir," I murmured, hoping he wouldn't be offended that my old habit had nearly made me slip up again. I'd been conversing with Vulcans for so long that small usages of their language, like titles, were simply automatic. It was so hard to turn it off, but I was trying my best for Kollos's sake. After all, even if this wasn't the Kollos I'd come to know so well, I owed it to my memories of our friendship and my feelings for him to at least try to be kind.

We were nearly to the conference room when I realized that I hadn't been cuffed or restrained in any way. Obviously, Kollos either trusted me not to run off, or - more likely - he knew he could catch me with relatively little effort if I did try to escape. Not that there was anywhere I could go. The layout of this universe's Earth starships was different enough to make it seem like an unsolvable maze.

Taking a seat in one of a pair of chairs, I tried very hard to block out the dozen or so sets of eyes watching us. I needed to be relaxed for this meld so that Kollos wouldn't have any need to be rougher than necessary. Even a meld with the most gentle of telepaths could be severely disorienting.

"Have you participated in a mind-meld before?" He asked loudly enough for the others to hear.

"Yes, but not recently."

"Have you any mental training regarding telepathy, mind-melds, or mental defense?" He inquired as he took his own seat directly in front of me.

"No, I don't."

"Very well. I will treat you as all untrained minds are treated. As you will know from your previous melds, anxiety can throw up resistance, whether intentional or not," he said raising his hands but not touching me just yet. "Obey my instructions during the meld, and I will have no need to harm you. Now, take a deep breath."

I did so, and his fingertips met my face: two on my chin, one on either side of my nose, and one on each temple.

The effect was familiar and instantaneous as he began to chant in that low, smooth voice of his.

"My mind to your mind...your thoughts to my thoughts..." His voice faded as our minds merged, and suddenly I found the pair of us standing in front of each other. It was as disconcerting as my previous meld with his counterpart, but I did my best to remain calm. "Recall the day in which my men found you."

All at once, our surroundings changed, and I was in the lab again. The group of Vulcan scientists conducting their experiments were only a few feet away, and I walked slowly toward them.

Kollos blocked my path with a stern expression on his face.

"I said, the day we captured you–"

"This is that day," I said emphatically, and, with the absolute certainty that he'd be able to tell that I was answering truthfully, I stepped around him and moved over to stand beside the machine. Just as it had happened that day, within moments, there was an explosion, and I watched as the pink light engulfed me again.

Disoriented yet again, I felt a small bit of panic creeping into me as acrid smoke filled my lungs once more. Struggling for breath despite the fact that this was just a memory, I knew Kollos would follow, so I did the same thing I did that day, taking the same turns I had until I was outside the smoldering building.

The sight of the devastated landscape was still shocking. All the destruction and the flames licking up amongst the rubble still made me feel a pang of sympathy for whoever might have been trapped.

A large hand met my shoulder in the midst of the meld, and I turned to find Kollos looking at me suspiciously.

"There were no Vulcan life signs on the planet's surface before our attack."

"Neither was there a Terran Empire that morning before the machine exploded," I countered, and before he could ask, I called forth the memories of my own time studying under Vulcan teachers and living alongside them as I walked through life. Image after image, memory after memory floated in. I showed him every instance I could think of regarding Starfleet's mission and Human interactions with other species including Vulcans. Ambassador Soval and Admiral Forrest chatting, Captain Archer and T'Pol walking together, on and on, example after example, until–

"What is this?" His hoarse voice called, and I knew immediately why he suspected that I was somehow manipulating him. The Kollos I knew, the Minister of the High Command, my friend, and the man I'd grown rather...attached to over the years, was standing mere feet from his rougher counterpart.

This was the last time I'd seen him. This was the day I'd left Vulcan. The suns beat down upon us both, but we were in our own little world, as usual, and took no notice of it. Kollos had taken that day quite seriously and had donned a set of his ceremonial robes, the deep green fabric with embroidered flowers and vines twining up the sleeves hugged his torso with an elegance that left me breathless. I could never tell him that, though. It would be highly inappropriate, and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship with my feelings.

Watching from this odd, outsider's perspective, I saw Kollos take a slow step toward me as we reached the transport station. It was quite deserted that day, mainly because at that time of day the majority of the population would have been busy with their occupations or their education. Given how empty the station was, we didn't bother to keep our voices down - an oddity for my friend, but I'd been glad of it.

"Ashal-veh, there is something which we should discuss when you return from your scientific exchange," he said with the same inflection he'd used that day. Soft and somewhat tender in retrospect, my Kollos's voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket, affording me a small measure of comfort that I hadn't experienced in weeks. I'd turned the memory over and over in my mind as I sat uselessly in the brig, wondering what he could've possibly wanted to discuss...and trying to determine the meaning of that damned word. He'd said it before - it seemed to be some sort of a title - but he'd never told me what it meant, and he never used it with anyone else.

I thought I'd have all the time in the world to ask him what it meant.

"As soon as I get back to Vulcan, we'll go to that tea shop you enjoy so much and talk about anything you want for as long as you like," the version of me from my memory responded, and I noticed something I hadn't, in the moment. The Former Minister was blushing. A rare occurrence, indeed!

"That is kind of you, but a private conversation would be more advantageous, in this instance," he murmured, and I watched as the other me cupped his cheeks and smiled up at him. How had I managed to be so bold when I was so sad about leaving him?

"Of course, osu. If that's what you like, then when I get back, you and Koss can come over to my place, we can crack open a bottle of that port you favor, and the three of us can talk all night."

"I...believe this is a topic I should discuss with you alone, first. Depending upon the outcome, my son can be informed later..."

Confused, but wanting to make him happy, I agreed.

"Sure, if that's what you'd like to do. I'd never say 'no' to spending time alone with you, osu. I promise you and I can have a private evening with just the two of us when I'm home again." He nodded his head in approval, and I watched as I kissed his cheek and drew him into a tight hug.

"Six weeks is quite a sizable duration of time for us to be parted, ashal-veh. Are you certain you will be alright?"

A light laugh had poured from my throat as I savored the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. I'd never had the courage to hug him before, let alone to dare hope that he'd return the gesture.

"I'll be perfectly fine, you worrywart. If anything, it sounds as if you'll be the one pining over the absence of a friend. I'll miss you too, of course, but it's only a few weeks. You watch, time will fly by and we'll be together again before you know it."

He sighed just as he had that day, brushing the tips of two of his fingers down one of my cheeks, sending a bolt of warmth across my skin. He'd never done that before. Not knowing if it was a gesture with some sort of meaning behind it, I'd taken a chance and copied his movements.

"Be safe." His husky murmur coupled with his light grip on my waist flustered me more than I'd thought possible, and when I watched myself board the transport shuttle, the image of the Minister froze.

I became acutely aware of the other Kollos by my side. As I'd watched the memory of our last interaction together, all at once, the realization that I may never get the chance to ask him what he meant slammed into me, and I felt the corners of my eyes burning with tears. I hadn't meant for my captor to see this reaction or feel how such a private memory was affecting me, but if it proved to him that I was telling the truth and showed him how I knew him, then it was worth it.

"You show me this freely?" He asked, and because of the meld, I heard him as if he was both in front of and beside me. Mild disorientation prodded at me, but I managed a quiet 'yes' in spite of it. "The light you saw in the laboratory...what do you believe it was?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I have several theories, but each is as unlikely as the next," I muttered, trying desperately to ignore how much I could hear the evidence of my tears in my voice. "It could've been some sort of odd radiation surge, or...or a portal through spacetime, for all I know. I'm not a physicist. My area of study is in biochemistry. I will say, though, this is not the universe I left behind. Our people are at peace where I come from."

Gradually, safely, he withdrew from my mind, ending the meld in the same way his counterpart had in a wholly different universe.

"You have not lied to me. You did not try to stop me from viewing the information I required. I do not know how, but you have told me the truth." Kollos sounded as surprised as he looked. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

When he cocked his head curiously, I realized he was truly seeking an answer from me, not just asking a rhetorical question.

"I may not know everything that was done to your people, but I want to help if I can. Who knows if I'll ever be able to get home? In the meantime, I may as well do what I can to right the wrongs committed by my species," I reasoned, and Kollos raised a single eyebrow.

"You expect us to trust a Terran?"

"I don't expect you to after all that you've been through, but I do hope to prove to you that you can, should the need arise."

Kollos glanced at his officers, and nodded his head once.

"You will be given the chance to prove yourself, but be forewarned: if you so much as attempt to betray us, you will regret being conceived."

Oh. Lovely. Death threats seemed to be as common as greetings in this universe. No doubt I'd get used to them as time wore on. They didn't startle me anymore, at least.

"I promise I won't give you any reason to doubt me, sir."

--

As Kollos escorted her to a guarded set of quarters, he couldn't help but feel guilt and self-hatred rising slowly in his chest.

Illogical feelings, of course. Kollos himself had done nothing to warrant such intensity in his own frustrations.

And yet...

'Ashal-veh' the image of himself had called her. Kollos hated that it hadn't been a manipulated memory. Somehow, a well-groomed, happier version of himself had dared to call a Terran woman a Vulcan term of endearment.

After all that those monsters had done! After all that his people had suffered at their hands! How could a Vulcan ever love a Human?! He'd even initiated a partial ozh'esta with her!

The name he'd heard during the meld, Koss, stuck in his head. It was one that he'd considered to be a serious contender if he'd had a son. According to her, this other version of himself did have a son.

All his years of regrets and wishful thinking grated within him at the realization that one of his alternate selves had a family. Clearly in that universe his mate was no longer in the picture, but he'd fallen in love a second time...with a Human.

How could this have happened? He felt betrayed by himself, by his own feelings. He knew already that if he didn't keep his heart turned firmly against her, there was a very good chance that he would end up exactly the way that 'Minister' Kollos had: in love with his worst enemy...worshiping the ground upon which she walked...craving her touch in the dark, solitude of his quarters when he should instead be sleeping...

The strain of walking beside her was quite suddenly too much to bear.

His emotions punched a hole in his tenuous, carefully-regulated control. The rage that he normally held so tightly on its leash curled his lips into a feral snarl. Slamming the Human girl against a bulkhead in the corridor, Kollos gripped her shoulder and her throat with equal ferocity.

"The man you knew is no longer here. Nothing in this galaxy will ever make me care for a Terran!" To her credit, she didn't cry out or struggle. She tilted her head back to lean against the wall, and her eyes...oh, her eyes! She didn't look frightened or defiant. She seemed curious, as if he was a sehlat who'd responded to a command in an unexpected way. "Your people have murdered and enslaved my people, oppressing them and outlawing nearly everything to do with our culture. Until the day your people kneel before Vulcans in obedient supplication, all I am capable of feeling for you is disgust and contempt."

He had to convince her, but most importantly, he had to reinforce that notion in his own mind. He hated her. He had killed many of her kind and would continue to do so in the future, so...

Why wasn't she frightened of him?

Even worse, why was a small part of him proud that she wasn't?

Without further ado, Kollos opened the door to her quarters and practically shoved her inside.

"You are not to leave without authorization. If you require anything, your guards will attend to it," he said shoving his emotions back into place. "If you keep to your word and assist us, you will be rewarded. If not, you will die. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," she murmured straightening her posture. He didn't even acknowledge her answer. He just turned on his heel and beat a hasty retreat to his quarters.

As he did every night, Kollos removed his shirt and attempted to meditate, but this time all he got for his efforts was a single word echoing through his mind on repeat: 'ashal-veh.'

Eventually, he fetched his lirpa from its place on the wall, and, with an almighty roar, he brought the blunt end down on the table in front of him, smashing it to splinters in one blow.

For a moment, all he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears and his heavy breathing, then his door chime sounded. With resignation, he called for whoever it was to enter. He knew there was no chance of hiding the evidence of his temper, so his guest would simply have to cope with the state of his quarters.

"Osu?" His eyes snapped up at the sound of Muroc's hesitant voice. He never sounded like that. Kollos must've startled him when he lost his temper. "Are you well?"

"...I do not know," he murmured setting his lirpa back on its wall mounted hooks.

"Did something in the Terran's mind...trouble you?" When Kollos remained silent, Muroc tried again. "You know that anything you tell me will remain confidential, do you not?"

He supposed that it was only fair that he tell his second in command about the revelation that was compromising his emotional control so severely.

"Sit, my friend. I have much to communicate to you."

They spoke for many hours that night. Confessing everything to Muroc was somewhat therapeutic. Having someone share in his confusion and voice the same questions confirmed to him that he wasn't hallucinating or otherwise losing his mind. Never had relief felt so sweet.

Over the next thirty-seven days - not that he'd been keeping count - the girl had kept to her word. She was as involved in their resistance movement as they allowed her to be. At first, they only gave her small tasks that could be supervised: assisting with ship maintenance, tending to superficial injuries, and preparing the food they'd secured in their various raids.

To Kollos's surprise, she had done everything she was asked, never uttering a single complaint. She always gave a small acknowledgement - 'yes, sir' or 'I'm on it' or something similar - and got straight to work. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that she truly enjoyed being able to help them fight back against her own people.

The first few weeks, he wasn't really convinced that she'd keep her word, but when she bled for them two months in, Kollos was forced to admit that she was serious. During a mild skirmish against a small Terran transport, Kollos decided to test her loyalty, so he assigned her to the boarding party. They were responsible for taking out any guards in the cargo hold and tagging the crates with transport signal enhancers.

Everything went according to plan. Kollos managed to disable the ship's engines and sensors, and when the boarding party transported over, there were only a few guards to deal with. Within mere moments, they'd stolen the supplies due to be delivered to a nearby Terran starbase, and made it back aboard the Retribution.

When Muroc and the Terran reported to the Bridge to give their account of events for the record, he saw a large, red stain blooming across the upper arm of her shirt. Kollos brought her to the medical bay and tended to her personally. She had fought her own people and bled in the service of the Vulcan Resistance. That was more than any Terran had ever done on behalf of his people. She deserved respect after that.

As she sat on the medical bed while he sterilized her wound, he found himself speaking before he could think better of it.

"You are not...In my experience, Terrans do not behave the way that you have. You act as though you truly wish us to be free," he murmured, not daring to meet her gaze with his own. He focused on the task before him, wondering why he was feeling almost positive about her.

"That's because I do, osu." He should've raged at her as he did before. He should've carried out his threats for her casual use of his people's language, but...he didn't. The thought of retaliating against her made it harder for him to breathe. Instead, he looked into her eyes.

Oh. Was this what his counterpart had seen? Bravery, intelligence, and beauty, all wrapped up in one fragile Human woman? Well, given her actions today, perhaps 'fragile' was an inaccurate descriptor. He caressed the bandage that he'd wrapped around her arm without conscious thought.

The insatiable urge to know exactly how much she knew about his culture rose as fast and furiously within him as lava in a fissure vent. How much had the other version of himself taught her? Would she misunderstand him as she had the other Kollos when he all but confessed to desiring her as a mate?

His jaw clenched at the thought. No, he would leave no room for misinterpretation in their courtship–

Courtship?! What was he thinking? She...she was Human!

But that argument felt weaker every time he used it to tamp down his growing emotions. She was Human, but she'd proved herself to be strong, determined, and fair-minded. Could he really continue to hold against her that which she could not control?

"Have you been shown the Vulcan method of meditation?" She looked a bit surprised at his question, but she nodded her head and uttered a quiet 'yes, osu' that send his heart racing in his side. "Very well. Tonight, I will bring the necessary items, and we will meditate together in your quarters. I would like to assess your technique."

Later that evening when he kept his word, he entered her quarters only to find her kneeling in the center of her living space. His brow furrowed as he tried to determine what she was doing.

"You said that until Humanity knelt before Vulcans, until we humbled ourselves, all you could feel for me was disgust and contempt. I can't make you like me, Kollos, but I don't want you to feel disgusted by me, either," she murmured as he made his way toward her. "I may only be one Human, but one is a start...right? Is this enough to earn some personal neutrality in your eyes?"

Kollos dropped to his knees before her, setting his meditation accoutrements aside. Where could he even begin when he hadn't even begun to puzzle out his own feelings?

"Even before this, you have proved yourself more worthy of respect than any other Terran." The surprised smile she gave him more than made up for the difficulty of that admission. That acknowledgement alone startled him into turning away to set up the candles. "Come. Meditate with me."

--

The next time Kollos was involved in a hand-to-hand fight against the Empire's forces, she was by his side. He'd never been in battle at her side before, so he hoped that she'd view this as the sign of trust that he intended it to be.

It began easily enough. Combat with Empire ships was fairly common for them, but this one had a big prize: this shipment of supplies was due to be delivered to the Emperor. The goods aboard were of the highest quality, and the Resistance wanted them. Badly.

Disabling the engines had been easy enough, but how Muroc had managed to disable their communication array before they could get a message off, Kollos had no idea. He wasn't complaining, though. That just made their job simpler.

Grabbing his lirpa, Kollos felt his lips tug into an almost-smile that easily betrayed how much he was looking forward to this. It had been far too long since he'd last spilled the blood of his enemies. Knocking a few heads together always felt rather therapeutic. For him, this was long overdue.

They'd made excellent progress through the guards, at first, removing them from the equation as easily as swatting flies.

Halfway through, however, reinforcements were summoned from other decks, and soon Kollos and his fighters were surrounded. When he was pushing back two Terrans at once, a man managed to get past him with a knife in hand.

He turned barely a fraction of a second later, but that was enough time for the man to grab Kollos's Terran. He dared to lay a hand on her – on his mate!

Kollos saw red. Thinking of nothing but her, he began tearing through the enemies before him. He didn't stop until he was within grabbing distance of the Human man. His target let out a startled yelp when he was tugged backward by Kollos's grip on his uniform collar. A primal yell tore from the Vulcan's throat as he threw the Terran officer to the ground and brought the blade end of his lirpa down on his neck.

The dagger that had been pressing into her skin now lay on the ground by the dead man's feet, a small drop of red Human blood coloring the tip. Her blood.

Still breathing heavily, Kollos turned his gaze to her, fully aware that he most likely looked utterly savage and murderous, covered in the evidence of his body count from this fight. The scratch at the hollow of her throat slowly wept a few drops of blood, staining her clothing as he moved closer to her. Reaching out with all the care he could muster in his current state, Kollos brushed his fingertips down the length of her clavicle.

There was much that he needed to communicate to her: his regret over behaving so foolishly toward her; his fear at the sight of someone getting that close to her with a weapon; the affection he felt for her that he was no longer able to ignore; his relief that she was not seriously injured. The significance of his need to protect her was at the forefront of his mind, but all he could seem to manage at that particular second was looking into her eyes.

He was certain that his own hunger for her was showing quite plainly, but he couldn't tell whether the reciprocal desire he saw in her irises was really there, or if he was simply projecting his own emotions onto her features in his mind's eye.

Her hands came up and covered his where it rested, and Kollos felt his control falter. He could take her here. It would be a simple matter for him to shred her clothing and stake his claim to her in front of everyone else. Her screams would be for him...because of him...

"Kollos?" Her barely audible call of his name snapped him from his primal, spiraling thoughts. The sounds of fighting had died out around them. "Are you alright?"

He swallowed heavily, tearing his eyes away from hers with great difficulty.

"I am unharmed," he croaked, but, emotionally, he wasn't sure that he was. How could he be after witnessing danger sidle up to the woman he loved, brandishing a dagger?

He couldn't remove her from his thoughts that night no matter how hard he tried. It had been wrong of him to immediately react as though they were already bonded, but...it had been instinctive. He could not force himself to feel guilt over his actions. The memory of the hungry look she gave him still burned so vividly in his mind's eye, stoking the flames of his desire. All of his confused emotions swirled around inside him, but they all essentially acknowledged the same central point: Kollos loved and needed this Human woman more than he'd ever needed anyone before.

It was shameful for him to give in to his emotions so easily, but that night Kollos couldn't help himself. He was forced to satisfy himself with his hand. With every stroke he imagine the caress of warm, slick walls gripping his length in place of his callused fingers. Would she sound as gentle as she looked, or was she just as savage inside as he was?

No! No, he mustn't allow himself to think such things about her. She may have looked as though she was prepared to offer herself to him during that fight, but she deserved more than that. She deserved his respect.

When the explosion happened a few days later, that was how he justified his actions. This was repayment for the respect she'd earned, nothing more.

That was a lie, of course. It was more. He knew from the moment he threw himself into action that this could never just be simple respect.

Kollos didn't think in the moment. He didn't analyze the situation. He simply acted. The minor skirmish in which they'd become involved was on the verge of being won, but the Retribution had taken damage. Small fires and shorting circuits illuminated the bridge from all corners. A familiar, high-pitched whine began, and Kollos leapt at her, wrapping her in his arms and shielding her with his own body just as the console she'd been working at exploded. Heat and pressure met the expanse of his back, and something hit him hard enough to knock them both to the ground.

As the pair managed to scramble away from the flames, he noted with relief that she was not hurt. She looked up at him in surprise - did she truly believe he would have allowed her to be hurt on his watch? - but when her eyes trailed lower, she went pale.

"We need a medic! Now!" She shouted over her shoulder, and when he looked down, there was a long, sharp piece of metal protruding from just below his collarbone. An emerald puddle of his blood was already forming on the deck plate beneath them.

Ah. He'd been impaled. No matter. His injury was irrelevant. She was alarmed but safe. That was his only concern.

Why was the Bridge spinning?

There was a dull thunk as his back struck the ground at an angle, but her hands cushioned his head's impact. He couldn't bring himself to regret his actions, especially looking up into her eyes at such close proximity. Her fingertips were so soft where they met his skin. He wished she would touch him for the rest of his existence. Why had he ever fought his attraction to her?

As his consciousness faded, he managed a single word, even though he was barely aware that he was speaking aloud.

"Ashal-v...veh," he breathed just before the world went black.

--

The trip to the medical bay was a blur. Muroc had reached Kollos's side on the bridge just in time to hear him utter that word. Nobody said a word as their leader was laid on a medical bed to receive their doctor's ministrations, but Muroc did give me a respectful nod while we waited.

Both versions of Kollos had called me the same term: 'ashal-veh.' Not long ago, Kollos pinned me against a wall and swore that he'd only ever be able to hate me, and now he'd saved my life twice. The look he gave me the first time nearly made me spontaneously combust where I stood.

Seeing him stalk toward me, glaring and covered in blood was almost more than I'd been able to handle. I'd thought - a small part of me had hoped - that he was going to claim me right there against the Terran ship's bulkhead. Instead, his touch had been feather-light, and I'd been more sexually frustrated when I returned to my quarters that night than ever before.

To complicate things even further, beyond simple lust, I'd begun to feel soft for this hardened, bitter, angry mess of a Vulcan freedom-fighter. His emotional control was tenuous at the best of times, he held grudges against those who had wronged him or his people, and he seemed to enjoy killing a little too much, but despite all of that - hell, maybe because of all of that - I loved him. I'd watched him murder a man who'd gotten too close to me with a knife, yet I still felt irresistibly drawn to him.

What the hell did that say about my own morality?

After all, under that rough exterior, Kollos wasn't completely evil. He had protected me, respected me, and even though he wanted to kill me multiple times in the beginning of our acquaintance, he'd given me a chance to prove myself. Hell, I'd even seen him full of bloodlust and rage, deep in the heart of battle, savage and the polar opposite of how a Vulcan was supposed to behave, but I couldn't help the way my heart fluttered when he'd regarded me with blatant lust afterward.

Those nights where we meditated together - yes, there had been many more than just the one - were soothing and tense in equal measures. On the one hand, I could almost forget that I wasn't with the Kollos I'd known before. Those nights, he was tranquil and serene. On the other, every time I closed my eyes to meditate with him, I felt as though I was being watched...as if he didn't actually close his eyes. I had wondered more than once if he'd simply taken the opportunity that those nights had afforded to observe me in close quarters.

That thought seemed mildly creepy, at first, but after a while, I almost relished the feeling of being so interesting to him that he couldn't help but shirk his nightly meditation to watch me instead. It was somehow simultaneously odd and flattering. For all his blustering, I knew deep down that he would never harm me. The universe didn't have many constants, but he was one of them.

And I knew that no matter his threats, he would never carry them out. Whether from confusion or desire, I was simply more intriguing to him when I was in one piece and able to behave as illogically as my species was so famous for amongst his people.

Upon reflection, his presence here in this terrifying version of the galaxy seemed like a sort of cosmic apology from the universe for ripping me so unceremoniously away from my home.

My home...I hadn't thought of it for a couple of weeks. The other Kollos must surely have given me up for dead, assuming that time passed the same way in both universes. I hadn't meant to break my promise to him.

A deep, shuddering sort of regret flooded through me, tasting distinctly sour and disgusting as I took a seat beside my Vulcan freedom fighter. Muroc and the doctor had spoken quietly for a few moments and left me alone with him. They'd done all they could. The rest was up to Kollos and his own strength. There was nothing I could do but wait, so that was what I did. Grasping one of his hands with both of my own, I stared at the bandages wrapped securely around his torso. The slight green stain that had seeped through at the location of his wound made my breath hitch in my throat.

I'd lost my chance to tell Former Minister Kollos of the Vulcan High Command how I felt about him, but that didn't mean I was going to lose my chance to tell Kollos of the Vulcan Resistance Movement just how much I adored him. Even if he hated me for it, I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. That would kill me.

So I resolved to wait by his bedside until he awoke. Maybe then we could come to some sort of mutual understanding.

And maybe - just maybe - I could finally figure out what that damned word meant.

Long, silent hours passed with nothing more than the sound of the medical machinery around me and the occasional visits from the doctor. Time ended up blurring together, and before I knew it, I had leaned my head down beside Kollos's arm on his medical bed and dropped off into a light slumber.

--

When his conscious mind finally surfaced, Kollos became aware of two things. The first was that the doctor had kindly dimmed the lights. The second was that his left hand was warmer than his right, and that warmth was accompanied by the sound of slow, steady breathing. Someone had fallen asleep keeping watch over him.

Cracking his eyelids open despite their leaden weight, Kollos saw the angelic visage of the Terran woman he'd fallen so hard for. Both her hands were grasping at his left. Her face was smooshed into the fabric of the blanket that was covering him from the waist down.

If he concentrated very hard with his slowly-recuperating strength, he found that he could catch glimpses of her dreams. For a time, they seemed to be a mix of nonsensical chaos mixed with flashes of anxiety over his condition.

Of all the people for his instincts to select as the ideal partner, he was truthfully glad that it was she who had been selected.

Kollos had no idea how long he'd been dipping in and out of her dreams when she finally stirred. A bleary yawn escaped her, and she blinked at him, seemingly taking a moment to recognize that he was awake just as she was.

"Lesek, t'sai." His raspy whisper settled over her like a blanket. He could see the moment she recalled the meaning of those words, because her eyes widened almost comically as she sat up.

"You're welcome, but I haven't done anything. Hell, I should be thanking you - actually, I am thanking you - for risking your life to save mine," she responded. Her own voice was equally rough with sleep as she spoke, but he found it alluring. "Kollos? I...don't know how to tell you this, but I never had the chance to say it to the other you. I mean it just as much with you as I did with him, and I don't think you'll be happy to hear it, but..."

She took a deep, steadying breath, leaning back to give him some space as she poured her heart out.

"I know we didn't start out on the best of terms, but I've developed...feelings for you." Despite his injury, Kollos sat up and grasped her jaw lightly in one large hand. "I-I know you must be upset, b-but I promise I can keep them to myself if you–"

"You must tell me to stop," he croaked, and she looked up at him quizzically.

"What are you talking about?"

"This is your last chance. Refuse me now while I am still able to turn away. Otherwise..." He swallowed around the lump in his throat that had risen at the thought of her rejection. "Otherwise, I will take you right here and claim you until your voice is gone. You will be mine, and I will be yours."

To his surprise, she smiled affectionately up at him.

"Kollos, I've been yours since the day I was brought aboard your ship."

"Do you fully understand what you are getting yourself into?" He asked as his eyes skimmed her face for any sign of second thoughts. "I have killed many of your people. In my resistance to the Terran Empire, I will likely kill many more. I...very nearly killed you on more than one occasion."

"I know exactly who you are, osu. You're not the Minister of the High Command who I became friends with in my universe. You're Kollos, defender of Vulcan rights. You are Kollos the Brave, Kollos the Valiant...and I love you," she murmured, sliding her hands slowly up his chest to rest carefully atop his bandages. "But I warn you: if you take me, I expect you to keep me."

His pride roared within him as his forehead touched hers.

"Oh, ashal-veh, there was no question about that."

"Are you ever going to tell me what that word means?" She asked as a huff of laughter escaped her. It was abruptly transformed into a gasp as he lifted her onto his lap and buried his face in the crook of her neck to inhale her scent.

"If you behave like a good girl for me, I may tell you when we are catching our breath."

Her answering whimper and the sensation of her fingers burying themselves in his hair was all the confirmation he needed to continue. The other version of himself had no idea what he was missing out on.

~*~*~

Vulcan Words:

Osu = sir

ashal-veh = darling

lesek = thank you

t'sai = my lady

~*~

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