#Danish royal pain in my 🍑
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✨A collection of Kasper Schmeichel moments from the first two matches of the Euros 2024✨
*lines up to be sexy. and Danish.*
*ignores bickering children*
*is an angry, or supportive, father depending on the child*
*is displeased with the state of the economy*
*struts around sexily and broodily*
*owns Denmark's sexiest back and looks amazing in pitch grass green*
*pulls up little oversized shorts like old man*
*makes girlblogger jealous by allowing random, middle aged men to stroke his cheek tenderly*
#that's what he's been up to these first two games#'Sunny; the quality is trash'#*Sunny is aware*#don't look at them too closely just enjoy the vibes from far away#this trash took me literally all afternoon so...#he doesn't deserve any better i said it#IN FACT#HE DESERVES EVEN WORSE FOR ALL THAT HE DOES TO ME#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#danish captain america#Danish royal pain in my 🍑
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*Whitney Houston singing I Will Always Love you in the background*
#Kasper Schmeichel#AND MY VERSION IS: TOAD SINGING I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU IN THE BACKGROUND#I MISS YOU BITCH WHERE ARE YOU???#POST A DAMN SUNSET#THE SUN SETS IN BELGIUM TOO I KNOW THAT MUCH#king thicccness#Danish royal pain in my 🍑#p.s. thank you Kitty for all the wonderful musically inclined Toad tiktoks#i love you very much and i wouldn't be able to live without you <3#and all the marvellous hilarious content you show me <3#how's that?#who else would i lose my sanity with if not you queen
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*muffled whining*
#it could be muffled moaning...#IF HE ACTUALLY POSTED SOMETHING THAT IS#IN THE NAUGHTY CORNER HE GOES#THAT'S WHERE HE BELONGS#I HAVE TO SCOUR THE EARTH FOR EVEN A DROPLET OF CONTENT#BECAUSE THIS OLD ASS GERIATRIC ASS MAN WON'T GIVE ME *censored*#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#DANISH ROYAL PAIN IN MY 🍑
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Riveting content 😌😮💨
#will i *ever* get a selfie from him again?#no i won't#*heavy pained sigh*#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#Danish Royal Pain in my 🍑
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Reunited with his one true love again 🥰
#will you look at that...#colour me surprised.. 🙄#he loves his sauna more than he loves his mother i swear..#it's Benji P. with that little abs roller wheel thingie#and Kas with the sauna...#these sports guys have such weird fondness for things...#i would love this sauna too... IF I COULD SEE HIS REFLECTION IN THE GLASS#BUT NOOOOO HE HAS TO HIDE ALL THE WAY IN THE CORNER#HEAVEN FORBID I SEE YOUR THIGH RIGHT KASPER PETER???#HEAVEN FORBID A BITCH EVEN GET A SINGLE GLIMPSE OF YOU OUT IN THE WILD#*grumble grumble*#Danish Royal Pain in my 🍑#king thicccness
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Other girlies: the highest of high def. content, tons of it all the time
Me:
#HOW IS THIS ANY FAIR????#HOW COME I DON'T GET ANYTHING HM??#I SHOULD UNSTAN THIS MAN HE DOESN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING TO GO FROM OR FOR#WHERE ARE YOU YOU DANISH BASTARD???#YOU SHOULD BE DROPPING SELFIES LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE YOU START BALDING DUE TO MIDDLE AGE 😤😤😤#i'm just upset... 😔😔 he'll never bald he's an unproblematic king#if his father -who is a big mess mind you- isn't balding then he surely won't bald either#he'll only look better and better as he ages too... 😩😩😩#UNFAIR THAT I CAN'T SEE IT THOUGH 😤😤#man out there looking sexy and foxy as hell and won't even take a sneaky selfie now and again.... *heavy dramatic sigh*#love him in private men are embarrassing indeed#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#Danish Royal Pain in my 🍑
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*sniffle*
#SHE'S BACK WITH THE SAME OLD JOKES LET'S GO 😌#BUT IT'S TRUE I MISS HIM 😭😭😭😭😭#HE FALLS OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET EVERY TIME AND I HATE THAT 😭#I HATE THIS MAN WHERE IS HE????#THE SUN RISES AND SETS IN BELGIUM TOO KASPER WHAT THE HELL???#king thicccness#Danish Royal Pain in my 🍑#Spotify
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The only man that has me randy over neon green clothes.. 😩
#but...#couldn't find anything even baggier could you Kasper?#couldn't get clothes that are even more ill fitting on you could ya??#heaven forbid you wear a b**** short or a tight jersey...#heaven forbid i get to see one of your thighs.. imagine the horror 🙄#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#Danish Royal Pain in the 🍑™#oh and let me not forget#my beloved former bee Thomas <3#Thomas Delaney
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