#DUDE IM FUCKING JAMMING OUT TONIGHT

[bluebelledmoon]

my friends: so, what music do you listen to

me, *sweating nervously*:

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

omg . im being tested tonight.

it was pouring out while we were grocery shopping. we couldnt walk to our parking so i waited with our trolley full of stuff until my mom drives over to the drop zone so i could load our stuff.

funny enough, stupidly enough, there was a fucking douche bag whos car was PARKED at the designated drop off area while his car was running. literally everyone wanted to drop off their passengers off there so he created a jam because of this. a string of cars stuck in a freaking unmoving jam. people couldnt even reverse out bc of him.

so i took the initiative to find the guy. a lady who was waiting with me told me it was a dude in black. so i rushed to the cashier bc he was paying with his two little kids. i got slapped twice by that automated door trying to call him in a frantic. i thought he didnt realise and would rush out when i told him to move his car. but the most stupidest thing that came out of his mouth was "just leave it be." excuse me? leave it???? maybe he couldnt understand the repercussions of his actions so i said nicely that nobody's able to move because of you. literally people are beeping back and forth. then he said, "there isnt any police right?" and im like wtf is he on about.

i said hes inconveniencing people and he just kept saying "but there isnt a police. so it doesnt matter." he said it so casually so nonchalantly and even took his time packing his groceries. and i retorted i said "eventhough there isnt, youre literally troubling people." he then said to me that his kid is in the car. and i said you cant park nearby???? you can literally lock the car door are you fucking daft? you look like youre 40. and i just shook my head in disbelief. he wasnt even apologetic. and then another beep. and i said "thats literally you who caused that problem". he ignored me and drove off.

i was shaking so bad (bc i dont do well in confrontations). my mom arrived and she wasnt even IN the drop off zone but close to it so literally i was soaked trying to put the stuff in the car. there was a sack of 10kg rice i had to carry on my own. WHATS WORSE was that there was a strong wind and our trolley decided to topple off and roll over intk the puddle. 🫠 i asked my mom to help me but alas she just unfastened her seatbelt as i already quickly put it back up. UGH. WHAT A NIGHT. my brain is pulsing madly and my head is throbbing. im fuming.

[tinyidle]

Swim!teez Being Cocky During Sex

i had a pm sent to me about the pics i sent about ateez swimming. since im not good at summarizing what they said, ill paraphrase it the best way i can here:

[all of ateez are crazy] omg I feel like this feeds into this I have that they are all a bit cocky (in a hot way), especially during sex and I'd love to hear your thoughts on that

so here i am, going to do just that. leggo~

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tags: @rap1inewhore , @thequarries

WARNING: descriptive smut, based off irl, cockiness (ofc), c*ck lol (penetrative sex), swim!teez (6/8 of the members), fem reader, dom!ateez, sub!reader, fiction ofc

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seonghwa - cocky tease

my boy before sending these swim pics said he wore a swim shirt, but after he sent them said he was teasing atiny. this to me confirms that hwa is just like that in the sheets. holding your hips down as his long-ass tongue swirls around your breasts and inner thighs, refusing to touch you where you need him until he sees that you're on the verge of tears. same thing when he fucks your breasts and thighs, tapping his head on your clit while leaving you squirming. but once his tongue or cock enters your cavern, prepare to be shuddering from the immense amount of pleasure as he takes you to cloud nine about nine times.

yunho - cockiness that is small yet powerful

he was the most innocent with his photos. but little did he know that i remember the picture san took with him, wooyoung, and seonghwa in it. so i do know what he kind of looks like. that's how i think his cockiness would be. yuyu would be acting small and shy as if you haven't seen that big dick before, but the moment that shit springs out. oh my gosh. you'd feel loved even when he seems to want to show you a bit of his harsh side-- such as jamming himself into you-- just to return soft, like allowing you to adjust and then turn around for you to be on top and set the pace.

yeosang - unexpected cockiness

i dont know about you guys, but when i saw a glimpse of his muscles during fireworks, i never would've expected them to turn out the way they are now. not to mention that his body just looks unpredictable, so for him to out of nowhere send these pics was a real shocker. now that in the bedroom is the exact same. he acts naiive and almost sub-ish in public, and although he can be a bit gullible and prefers no roles in the bedroom, expect yeo to unexpectedly take the reigns. he says you can lead tonight just for him to lock your legs in place and jackhammer up into you while you gasp and cry out in sheer pleasure.

san - cockiness that is faux naivety

speaking of naievty, here's this dude. the first two pics of his look rather innocent, then the next two dont look so innocent; yet he adds an innocent caption. this is deadly in bed oml like i swear. he's spooning you claiming to want to only love you, but the moment you innocently (and rather cutely) wrap your fingers around his, he prompts you two to discard you bottoms. he says he'll sheath himself inside you for innocent intimacy, just for your hand to fly up to your mouth in futile attempts to not scream when he pulls himself back to repeatedly thrust his long cock in.

mingi - cocky cute

lovely mingles has no pics but only one video. it may be just me, but he looks kind of sexy while swimming so perfectly. but he wouldn't have thought it that way. that's totally him during sex. he never meant to make you moan when he innocently held onto your boobs, neither did he mean to make you gasp when he knee brush against your clit. it was until he smirked and ended up with him doggying you with one huge hand tweaking your nipples and another set of slim fingers rubbing your bud.

wooyoung - subtle cockiness

this guy was the first to post swim pics, except they were on universe. he quite literally said 'pay me to see me' lol. but for real, we all know how publicly cocky woo can get, so for him to send pics in a paywall? my only theory is that he did it for the shock value and public sharing since he knows some of his pics may be shared publicly anyway. during sexy time he'd pretend to not want to do dirty things just for you to beg him. he, being his confident self, while give you all you want and more as your mouth hangs open from your pussy being pounded by his relentless cock.

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so.. what you think? 🤭 if you want me to add joong and jjong lemme know

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Girls just wanna have fun

summary: the girls and you take over the first set of the guys concert for fun and as a joke, but you guys are really good which makes fans go crazy with how real you all sound like a real band.

Setlist: Babylon, Valentine, Ghost of you, No shame,Wildflower.

a/n: this is a 12 in the morning idea lol, thought it would be really cool to write this and of course the reader spends time with calum practicing the bass haha. I thought it would be cute for all the guys to see their girls in different settings.

a/n: august 2nd, fuck it i’m posting it lol

“this might sound silly, but it sounds like a good idea too.” michael said as cal spoke up, “out with it then clifford.” he said as you all giggled very interested in what he had in mind for the guys, or well for you ladies, but you didn't know that.

“What if our ladies do the first set of our concert?” he said as Crystal spoke, “Wait actually?” she said as you and the girls raised your eyebrows looking at one another while the guys were actually considering it. “that would be a fun idea actually.” Luke spoke as Sierra laughed, “you really think fans would enjoy that? not saying that we're bad entertainers.” she said as you giggled and everyone continued to elaborate.

“it would be fun seeing the fans reactions when they are expecting us.'' Ash said as he also mentioned how the fans all enjoyed the time they switched instruments, from the guys' view the fans loved it. “Besides the fans always ask about you guys it would be a fun way for them to see you all together.” Michael said as kaykay spoke,“okay if we were to do it, when would we do it cus if we're actually playing and singing we need to practice.” kay kay said as you nodded, “i agree with that,” you said as cal looked over at you with a smile, “wait your actually considering it?” he asked as you nodded with a giggle, “i mean it could be fun and we are all going,” you shrugged as all the everyone nodded. Cal knew you were a pretty nervous person so he didn't want you to feel pressure at all, since you two also had just announced that you were dating for a while now. But it would be a nice way to get the fans to know you too since they know the other girls very well. After planning rehearsal time, the set list, and the final date you were pretty much prepared, you just had to dread the planning time on your half.

You were only doing one of the main 5 songs that fans enjoyed a lot when the guys sang, so it was pretty easy going for all of you to do the main one, since a whole set was pretty intimidating especially to you, but 5 songs wasn't that bad. Of course the girls and you had some sort of experience with playing their instruments, since quarantine. You had told all the girls on facetime what you were up to, and they had been doing the same as you.

“So what have you been up to y/n?” sierra asked as you held your finger up and moved the camera to the bass, “this is so weird, but i've been playing the bass with cal, since you know we're pretty much stuck here, i thought it would be cool to learn.” you said as kaykay gasped, “no way! So have I but with the drums, Ash has been teaching me a little, it's so fun!” she said as you gave you a virtual high five, “This is so weird that you guys are mentioning this, but Luke has been teaching me too, its so weird, he came up to me with his guitar and he was like ‘let's have a jam session’ and i got the hang of the piano and the guitar.” sierra said as crystal spoke up and you thought it was so uncanny, but i mean it was pretty practical that you would all be learning how to play the guy’s instruments.

“I think they planned this because Michaels been teaching me how to play as well..” she said as you were all laughing and then Sierra spoke, “I think I see a band about to be immense,” she said as you all continued your conversations.

You all had been practicing for a while so you had some skill. Of course then you hadn't thought anything about that, but you kinda thanked cal for teaching you a little bit, since now you were going to do it live as a joke, but you were actually going to play and sing.

Though practice was enough for you guys to be prepared you also had to rehearse together to see how you all sound with one another. The singing part was easy for all of you since you guys would always sing. The boys had no doubts, they knew you would vocally sound good, but you girls already knew that since you had gone to a vocal coach and she even loved your vocals all together. She had even told you guys you were all able to make it as stars, but I mean you were only doing it one time for fun.  As you all arrived to rehearsal you and girls had even dressed up like the boys, you thought it would be fun because you guys were also doing some video diaries for fun for fans to see the behind the scenes. When the cameras started rolling and the guys did the intro before the cameras were on you as the guys would watch.

“Did you guys dress up as us?” Luke asked as Sierra nodded, “holy shit i just realized that,” michael said and you started laughing how identical she dressed up as look and also michaels reaction, “for promo purposes we had to, also that screams Luke, sierra looks way better luke im sorry,” kaykay sneered as luke began to sniff and fake cry and you giggled from what she said in the beginning, Crystal then added, “okay, but have you seen y/n, she literally has everything on point.” she giggled as you stood up showing your outfit, “yeah, it's not that hard when you can sneak into his closet, just that the pants were a little big, so i bought my own.” you giggled as you all were explaining your outfit, “did cal not notice?” ash asked as you shrugged which was when cal had walked in, “noticed what? Love did you go through my closet?” Cal asked as you all just started laughing at how he had just noticed you were all dressed up very similar.

“But also, kaykay, is very on point as you can see, with the bandana, the loose tank and of course the sticks.” you said as kaykay and you hugged one another like cal and ash would.

After the various jokes you had started to rehearse and the only thing to say was that you were all so identical to them, but before that the talented just screams out of you. You all were so good the guys were looking at the cameras worried, “i think we might be out of a job soon,” cal joked as luke nodded and the guys were laughing, “they are actually really good like actually,” ash said as he was clapping and whooping as the other boys followed. Cal and the guys even had his flashlight on when you were singing Ghost of you.

“Dude, they are so good, they have been planning this haven't they?” Michael said as you were done with the set completely, you all were confident that you were gonna kick ass that night. Even if this was just a prank set, you were all actually really good, like really.

Cal was so proud of you, that all the practice you two had done was good for you, he was hoping you would actually even consider doing more music stuff. The boys were all proud of you guys and of course their ladies, they all had agreed as well that you guys have so much talent, but they knew this life wasn't for you guys, since separation would be much bigger, unless you toured together….but i'm getting ahead of myself.

Once you all hit the tour bus and were on your way to the first concert of the tour, you girls were actually playing tonight, you weren't as nervous as you thought you were, but at the same time you were a nervous wreck. You and Cal were cuddled up in your bunk as you were watching a movie, “are you nervous for tonight?” he asked as you giggled a little, “i mean yeah kinda, but that's normal right?” you asked as he nodded, “yeah it is, and besides you guys are really good, like actually, all that practice is going to be worth it.” he said as you nodded and he had his arms over your body. He loves how involved you are with his life and his career, and how supportive you are. You were always there for him and he will always be there for you too, even if this was a little way to entertain the fans and make a funny thing out of it.

As you arrived at the venue, you were getting excited as you and the girls had stayed in your dressing rooms getting ready while the boys were doing sound checks and greeting fans with VIP passes. You were still doing video diaries so you were all pretty chill and relaxed once you arrived at the dressing room and started to change and get prepared.

“Okay, so right now the guys are currently doing their thing while we change, and get into character, so uh..yeah.” you giggle as you all do your thing while the cameras are rolling and trying to catch small moments of you all. “Are you guys nervous?” the guy behind the camera asked as you all prused your lips, “uh not really, we all rehearsed and practiced i think we'll be great,” kay kay said as you giggled, “okay but we actually sound like a band when you say that.” you giggled as Sierra and Crystal nodded.

You all were getting into your guy’s signature clothing when it came to doing live performances and the end result is so uncanny. You were getting into the signature skater pants and black top with some vans. You had curled your hair slightly a lot like cal’s when it's curly wanting to have some of your hair out of your face. Sierra had worn the yellow silk shirt with classic leather black pants and a pair of boots, an outfit that fans loved, and Sierra killed it in that shirt. Crystal had worn a jean jacket with black pants with some boots, which you could say, SHE KILLED IT. Kaykay had gone with a red button up and some skinny jeans with some boots and let me tell you SHE ALSO KILLED ITTTTT. You all had killed it, it was perfect. You occasionally threw in the “i have no idea what we are doing?” for the video because you knew that had to be in there and the girls all laughed when you did it.

When you all got in for a picture together you literally posed like the guys and you were all getting quite excited for what's about to come. Minutes had passed by and the guys had come in and they were all kinda surprised with your outfits and they were slightly impressed, “hey, you look really good by the way good luck out there.” Calum said as he walked over to you with a hug as you hugged him back, giving him a kiss. Everyone was greeting their partner giving the last minute good luck before you left. You had recorded more stuff for the video diaries, of course you all were listening to Nickleback before going on the stage and you now understood how this helped with the nerves.

You then were all getting suited up as kay kay had walked out on stage while the lights were off and started playing some beats before you all went on. From what you guys could hear the fans were going crazy, this was going to be one fun night. The boys had headed up to the very front to see the show.  you and sierra created one of the most funniest moments in the diaries, “y/n, we should do the acoustic set moment!” sierra said as you giggled and nodded, “oh my gosh yes!” you said as the cameras were rolling and kay kay was still entertaining the fans out there, “..wait what are we doing? Are we gonna..?” sierra said as you looked back at her trying not to break character, “i think its an acoustic set.” you said as she walked over to you confused, “an acoustic set?....IT SOUNDS A BIT LOUD FOR AN ACOUSTIC SET Y/N!” she said as you just laughed not knowing what to do, that's when the backstage team had signaled you to all get out there running out and playing your chords for the intro as the fans at first were confused but when they noticed it was you girlies, they all began to scream and there was no end to the cheering. You looked over to the camera and looked over and said, “i still have no idea what we are doing.” you screamed as the fans were still cheering and you were so overwhelmed and excited, “fuck it” you screamed.

Then beat to Babylon had started and the fans went nuts as you were all playing as if you were a literal band, the fans cheering didn't stop until you started singing and they sang along with you. From the audience the boys were all cheering for you and none of the fans had even noticed they were there, that's how realistic this looked.

“Burn too bright, now the fire's gone, watch it all fall down!” you sang as the fans cheered you all and you began to giggle a little, you were able to even hear the guys cheering.

“So, holy cow, i don't know how the guys do this, but this is tiring, you gotta hand it to them.” Sierra said out of breath as you took a small break but made sure to hurry it up, “yeah they are pretty good at this, crystal, kay kay? How are you guys doing?” you asked as kaykay responded, “honestly great, i mean i get to sit down for most of this, but these girls are killing it.” she said as the fans cheered and all you could really do is giggled. “What about your crystal?” Sierra asked, “I'm doing fine, lots of head banging but it's there,” she said as you all laughed.

Then the beat to valentine had started and the fans were going crazy again, this was so new to you, all of you, you all liked this feeling, it was something you all had never got to feel, and it was one of those “i want to see what its” like moments, and you all enjoyed it. Whenever one of you would stop singing the fans continued on with the lyrics, which made you happy. You were all happy they are enjoying you guys.

“Valentine, valentine, valentine..” all of you sang as the beat continued to ghost of you, and yet again the fans screamed once again. Sierra started it off as the fans sang along waiting for your line, which from instagram you heard that it was one of their favorites because of the way cal would sing it, so yes you studied a little for this, “cleaning up today, i found that old zeppelin shirt, you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt, too young, too dumb, to know things like love, i know better now, better now.” you said as fans yelled waiting for the part where you all sang, “Dancing through our house with the ghost of you” you sang as fans were cheering on.

You then took a small break before heading onto the next 2 songs, “you guys are such a good audience we really thought you wouldn't like us.” Sierra laughed as you laughed, nodding as the fans yelled no. you saw a fan had yelled a question, “wheres duke?” she said very quietly but you heard her, “ did you ask where duke is?” you asked as you looked at the fan who asked and she nodded which made the girls laugh seeing you interact with the fans. “Duke's home with one of our friends I believe,” you spoke as all awed.

Then the beat to no shame had started and you were so excited for this one, it was your favorite song on the new album, “so we're gonna do like 2 more songs on the new album just for you guys.” you spoke as the cheered and sierra had started it, and for this one you didn't do much singing since in this one luke is the only one sining but there was also some added harmonies, but not much.

Sierra had killed this song completely shocking Luke, he had heard you guys sing this so many times, but hearing it live with fans singing it made it sound so good. You and Sierra had been the ones who took one for the team and sang one of their solos. You two didn't really mind and kay kay and crystal were not really up for it, but they had both said you two should do it and well here you were, no backing out now.

“Got no shame. I love the way you're screaming my name” she sang as the fans went wild and the beat to wildflower had started and you were getting ready to sing, “this is the last song we can sing for you guys, it's called wildflower, and out lovely y/n will be taking the lead here.'' Sierra said as the crowd went wild and you just smiled looking over at Cal who was just so proud, like we said before even if this was for a small joke, the talent you all carried was surreal. Seeing you sing this song made him feel many emotions, you were kinda hot singing this. All the boys thought their girls were hot right now, they had no idea how they were gonna continue the show with all these feelings they had that just wanted to come out.

“You're the only one who makes me. Every time we. Tell you what I like. My wildflower!” you sang finally as kaykay ended with the drums and you all had gone in the middle and bowed getting lots of cheering.

“That's all we have today fro you all, thanks for your cheering this was actually awesome.” Sierra said as you all nodded and you all left the stage as they were all cheering. Once you were all off you all got into a group hug and just celebrated this. You all enjoyed yourselves up there and honestly you were all down to do it again, but you were all happy with being able to do it once.

Before leaving to go see the guys, you had recreated a couple more of the diaries moments,

“Kaykay, my best friend, gonna be friends till the very end. Kaykay my best friend gonna be friends til the very end. Take it to the.. I love this gal, so damn much, i love this gal.” you said attempting to do the same movements as cal. As kaykay had kept playing the guitar and sierra walked up to you, “y/n my best friend, me and her until the very end, kaykay, is **********, i hate you so ******* much.'' Sierra said as you all continued to laugh, not being able to believe that you did this without laughing. You then all had gone down as well to see them and give them your support. Lucky fans didn't recognize you and you were able to enjoy the show.

After the show you all had headed to a hotel tired but full on energy at the same time. You had all gotten separate rooms to celebrate alone with your s/o the success of the beginning of the show and the start of the tour. The boys were definitely were wanting to see you guys preform again.

This is like some of the reactions fans would have.

@5SOSUPDATES:

THE FACT THAT THEY DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE THE GUYS IS SO CUTE.

@CALM5SOS:

So who wants to talk about how the girls took over the first set?!?!?

@Lukstannings:

Okay but Sierra was rocking the yellow silk button up.

@mikeycliffordstan:

NO ONE TOLD ME THEY CAN SING

@ghostofyou5sos:

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW Y/N LITERALLY SANG CAL’S PART IN GHOST OF YOU THE SAME WAY HE DID.

@5SOSWILDFLOWER:

SIERRA SINGING NO SHAME AND Y/N SINGING WILDFLOWER IS LITERALLY ALL I NEED TO LIVE.

@c-swizzle:

Y/n’s spot on, her hair, her bass playing, she is literally calum in the making.

@cliffordhemmings:

Kaykay on the drums, is literally a dream of mine and it came true.

@y/nkaysierracrystalstan

They need to be a band idc what you say, you can't change my mind.

@5sosashsupdates:

Kaykay and Ashton are a couple goals.

@5sosmichealupdates:

Crystal wore michaels jean jacket. This is everything I need.

@ashiriwinsstan:

PLEASE THEY LITERALLY RECREATED SO MANY MOMENTS FROM THE DIARIES

@5SOS:

Looks like our ladies took over yesterday on the first set, might need to happen more often.

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 4

Summary: you and negan begin to test your boundaries between one another pushing it to the limit for the sake of your relationship while unexpected visitors cause heated situations for the both of you.

Warning: lust, violence, stalking, threats, smut, Daddy kink, jealousy, role play

🛑18+🛑

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Applying your black eyeliner to your water line you pucker your lips together looking at yourself in the mirror making sure your lipstick is spread evenly across your plump lips. You were going out to the bar tonight with a friend of yours while negan was staying for the night to watch ellie and to help you out incase you come home too drunk...haha. You needed a night out like this with one of your girlfriends to unwind and destress yourself. It was 8 o'clock when negan showed up you quciky slide on your heels grabbing your cropped leather jacket rushing to the front door to open it.

"Trying to keep me locked out huh?..." He snickers while eyeing you up and down like a lion that has just spotted its prey

"Mmmm...i might be" you quicly answer with a grin" closing the door behind him

"If i must admit...you look fucking sexy" he says with a lean in his body while giving you a quick kiss on your blushed cheeks

"Ellie should already be asleep...i wont try to be back too late" you start to grab your car keys " ohh and...the bed is up for grabs" you unlock the door leaving

"Have...a good night..i guess" negan finishes with the door being shut in his face while he goes and checks on ellie seeing that she is peacefully asleep in her pink racecar bed he makes his way to the couch plopping down on it with a slight grunt grabbing the remote hopelessly flipping through the channels trying to find something.

You finally made it to the bar its super packed on saturdays because they play live rock music all night and give out half priced drinks. Making your way over to your friend Tara you greet her with a hug and a big smile you could tell she was already have had a few drinks before she even left the house

"Hey babygirl!" She squeals

"Hey!" Pulling yourself back from the hug

"Here follow me!" She hands you a glass full of what looks like voda and soda while she drags you through the crowd up to the stage the band was doing a cover song from the band staind. Everyone was singing along jamming around eachother when from far in the back corner you spotted him. He was just eyeing you, hell he wasnt even blinking just this long cold stare when it hit you who it was....

Jack..fuck

It was getting close to the end of the night you said your goodbyes to Tara as she made her way stumbling into some dudes car for the night. Standing at your car you pull out your car keys before feeling someone standing behind you. Quickly turning around you were met with jacks glossy eyes and his mouth curved into a grin.

"Ja-

"Dont even fucking speak....not untill i say what i gotta say" he steps closer to you causing your body to be pushed up agaisnt the car

"Look....im sorry i didnt mean for any of this to happen

"Bullshit!....you just coudlnt get enough of his cock huh!!?" He grabs you by the throat " or...is it that he was better at sex then i was...or is it you are so fucked up in the head because of your little daddy kink and older men you just cant let him go" he moves his face closer to yours

"Tha-thats ellies dad...i cant take that away from her" you studder turning your face away from his

"Nothing but a fucking whore..."

"Oh im the fucking whore! You were fucking your coworker" you take all your strength shoving him off of you causing him to lose his balance and fall from being drunk

"Im coming for you....." He saying stumbling to get back up to his feet

You quickly hop in your car locking the doors and speeding off out of the parking lot pancing. You returned back home rushing to the front door opening it and practically throwing yourself inside slamming it behind you causing negan to jump up in a worried stance.

"Whats the matter" he says

"N-nothing..." You quickly walk past him avoiding eye contact before he grabs you stopping you

"What. The. Fuck. Happened" he says through gritted teeth

".....jack" you beging to sob into his chest while he pulls you into him

"Ill fucking kill him...." Negan says in a stern tone

"Negan...dont get involved again" you pull away wiping your tears

"You are the mother of my child and i cant have his jackass doing shit to endanger you guys....we may not be together but i will always protect you" he takes you to the bedroom to lay you down

"Negan.....im so thankful for you....you really are an amazing dad" you smile at him through smeared mascara and eyeshadow

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You were on your way to pick up ellie from school when you noticed negans car in the parking lot. Negan doesnt work here anymore he got terminated?? You pulled out your phone and dialed negans nunber letting it ring untill it went straight to voicemail. Ellie made her way to the car hopping in

"Hi mommy.." Ellie cheered

"Hi sweetie....hey is your daddy here?" You asked biting at the skin on your bottom lip

There was a long pause.

"I dunnoo...." Ellie figited with her hands

"Ellie...you can tell mommy you wont be in trouble" turning around to face her in the backseat

"Daddy was...talking to miss stevens.." She looked up at you with beaty eyes

In one swift motion you step out of the car locking it marching your way through the entrance of the school doors. Hearing your heels click down the big empty hallway qucikly approaching the classroom. You hear faint voices and begin to slow your pace pressing your Back up against the lockers trying to listen to what is being said you can hear negans deep raspy voice followed by a flirty laugh. You roll your eyes at the thought of what his facial expressions could possibly be. Negans exits the classroom you grah him by the collar of his jacket before he notices its you slamming him up against the lockers causing him to grunt out in pain.

"Damn...cant you wait till we get home to be frisky" he smiles

"What was that...huh" you grip tighter onto his jacket

"What...i was checking on ellies grades" he bites at his lip

"Ellies grades huh!?....lies all fucking lies" you let your grip go off of him and begin to walk away

"Wa-wait! Now just hang on" negans jogs up behind you

"Just get in the fucking car....im going to act like none of this even happened" you push through the school doors letting the freezing air brush on your exposed neck unlocking the car door to see a fast asleep ellie.

"You left her in the fucking car. Alone!?" He lays his hand on the rolled down driver side window looking in

"She is fine...just come back to the house...this conversation is over" you stare blankly ahead ignoring his gaze tightening your grip on the steering wheel

"(Y/n)...." He says quietly

"Negan!....." You snap your head at him

Negan sighs and removes his hands from the car door watching you angrily put the car in reverse and drive away. Making his way over to his car he ooens the door plopping down in his seat pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his perfect lips he inhales the smoke closing his eyes letting the nicotine wash over him.

Making his way through the front door he notices you in the kitchen cooking dinner while ellies jumps around and dances to her kids show. Stopping to give ellie a kiss before walking up behind you wrapping his arms aroud your waist pulling you close.

"Baby...im sorry" he rests his head into your neck

"Steak or burgers?" You ask changing the subject

"You dont have to cook...go take a nap" he turns you around to face him

"Negan...do not tell me what to do" not realizing you were pointing at him with a knife in your hand

"Doll...." He backs away

"I think we all just need to chill...dont be this way around ellie. Okay?" With his hands slightly raised up

Now snapping back into reality you realized what you were doing you slowly lowerd the knife and quickly turned around to continue washing dishes humming to yourself like nothing happened. Ellie and negan finished up their dinner while goofing off on the couch together you were standing there watching and smiling when your phone suddenly buzzed in your back pocket pressing the power button only to see it was a text from an unknown number.

You are fucking dead..

Your heart now racing you quicky delete and block the number only for your phone to buzz again.

You can try and get rid of me but If i cant have you...nobody can.

Gulping down hard you instantly shut off your phone and shove it back into your back pocket biting at the skin on your lip nervously you walk over to ellie picking her up.

"Okayyy bedtime" you say nervously

"But its only 8.." Ellie wines

"Yeah mom its only 8" negan sarcasticly says

You look at negan and roll your eyes while walking off with ellie to her bedroom grabbing some pajamas for her.

"Whats the matter mommy..." Ellie says sad

You stop and look over at her with a small smile.

"Yeah...mommy whats wrong" negan says leaning against the door frame with a grin

"Mommy is fine. No worries. Now get to bed sweetie" you pull back ellies covers for her while she hops in bed letting you tuck her in giving her a goodnight kiss shutting the door behind you.

"So...i guess thats my cue to leave" negan says shoving his hands in his pants pockets

"Actually...can you sleep with me tonight..." You look up at him

Negan looks at you with a grin closing the gap between the both of you grabbing a fist full of your hair yanking your head back kissing you roughly on the mouth you couldn't help but moan into him before he abrubtly pulled away walking to the bedroom leaving you throbbing.

"Time for bed doll..." Negan calls out hummingly

"Time for bed...doll" you quietly mocked him to yourself before making your way to the bedroom to sleep.

----------------

It was dark you were laying on a cold cement floor with a gag in your mouth. The side of your face ached in pain and was swollen. The only light was from a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling there was blood splatter all around you.

"I see your awake..." A faint voice says walking towards you. You squinted your eyes trying to make out the figure walking to you. Finally standing in the dim light with a nasty grin on his face and stuble for days it looked like he hadn't slept in ages.

"What?...not happy to see me baby" he laughs crouching down to your eye level grabbing at your chin

All you could do was make out muffled high pitched sounds trying to skirm away from him.

"Look at you...so innocent...makes me rock hard" he stands back up yanking the gag out of your mouth snickering

"You-you fucking bastard!..." You screamed at him

"Mmmm..." He yanks you up and throws you agaisnt the wall

"Do it....just fucking do it!" You begin to cry and scream

He forcefully kisses you on your lips before plunging the knife into your lower abdomen again and again and again...blood gushing out of you and you cry out in pain.

---------------

You suddenly jolt awake dripping in sweat panting you look around to see negan wasnt in bed anymore just a empty space where he layed. You heard laughing coming from the kitchen grabbing your robe you slipped it on leaving your room.

"Morning mama..." Negan greets you with a cup of coffee

"Thanks..." You quietly say taking the cup away from him

"You doing okay?...you look like youve seen a ghost" he chuckles

"Mummies seen a ghoooossstt" ellies giggles

"No...i um...im okay" you smile

Finishing your coffee you take a shower and get dressed grabbing your phone to see another unknown message light up on your phone. The bathroom door opened causing you to frantically shove your phone under your towel on the counter.

"What are you doing in here...huh?" Negan raises his eyebrow and leans his body to the side

"Uhhh...just going to brush my teeth" being your clumsy self you knocked the towel off the counter reaching for your tooth brush causing your phone to skidd across the bathroom floor you froze biting at the insdie of your cheek.

"What are you doing hiding this..." Negan picking up your phone waving it in his hand

"I-i...im not i just didnt want it to get wet" rubbing at the back of your neck

".....uhh huh" he runs his tounge across his bottom lip

You grab your phone from his hand pushing past him slamming the door behind you.

Fuck.

Later on that night negan had went out with some buddies of his to a basketball game while ellie was with your mom spending the night. You tirelessly sat on the couch flipping through endless channels when you heard a noise coming from the back yard getting up to go check you tried switching on the back porch light but it was blown out. Opening the door slowly you made your way down the steps to the backyard it was pitch black outside when you were suddenly grabbed from behind with an oddly familiar hand slapped over your mouth to prevent you from screaming.

"Make a sound....and you are in big trouble" negan sternly whispers into your ear

Negan?...

You quickly nod your head letting out small muffled moans into his hand. Negan keeps you close to him pulling out handcuffs from his back pocket and slapping them on your wrists he then takes you over to the hood of his car and bends you over.

"You're mine....got it?" Yanking your hair causing you to arch your back

"Yes sir..." You say breathlessly

"Now....i need you to be a good girl for me or im going to have to hurt you" he bent down whispering in your ear

You nodded.

"Say. It." He yanked on your hair harder

"Yes..yes ill be a good girl!" You whimper out

"Now thats my girl..."

He shoved your face against the hood of his car while pulling down your jeans and thong smacking your ass and then queezing it. You could feel him touching himself slowly pumping his cock you could feel his precum dripping on your ass only making you throb even more for him. He kicked your legs apart and teased your dripping wet entrance with his head slowly rubbing it up and down on your heat before sliding his cock into you. Letting out a loud moan allowing your walls to adjust to his pulsating cock he slowly starts pumping in and out of you going deeper and deeper each time

"God baby...you feel so fucking good" he groans out fastening his pace

The sound of his gushing your wetness only made you more weak his perfect sexy moans making you closer and closer to cumming all over him.

"Tell me you love me..." He thrusts harder

"I...

"Do it...fucking say it. Tell me you love me" he fucks you even harder his cock swelling up inside of you getting closer to that sweet release

"I love you negan"

You scream as you collapse on his cock your walls now pulsing down on him your cum dripping down his shaft negans moans grew louder and louder as he blew his hot load into you. His cock twitching inside of you making you not want him to pull out. He slowly slides his cock out of you with a grunt feeling his cum pour out of your pussy only to run down your leg. Negan uncuffs you flipping you around grabbing you by the throat to kiss you roughly before pulling away to adjust his pants.

fuck....i want to have this mans babies over and over....

It was the next morning when you woke to negans phone buzzing on the nightstand. Curiously you reached over to see who it was from.

Big Mistake.

-----------------

------------

-----

[hermannsthumb]

Hermann preparing for date night with Newt by selecting where to eat solely by what he has a coupon for. Or, ya know, frugal connoisseur Hermann. <3 ksci

inspired by a convo re: the fact that ksci @k-sci-janitor likes to make fun of me for never letting a coupon go to waste even if it means walking like 2 miles in the cold to use it :/ like im gonna NOT get a free Baja blast. (there is one small little allusion to some M rated stuff towards the end in this)

-------------------

It’s not a rare occurrence that Hermann will treat Newt to dinner when the mood of dining out strikes them, but the point is that he’s doing it in a way that’s supremely…shifty tonight. Well, maybe not shifty. Weird? For one thing, he didn’t tell Newt where they were going until they were already on the bus headed there, for another, it’s their sharing-a-lab-anniversary, which tradition dictates they evenly split a bill (even if the origins have more to do with both trying to show up the other and take advantage and order the most expensive shit on the menu). The weirdest thing is definitely that, when Hermann got up to pay the bill five minutes ago—a small, folded piece of paper clutched in his hand—he left his wallet laying next to his wine glass on the table.

Newt stirs his straw around in his cup of soda, clinking ice cubes against the sides, and squints at the wallet. Did Hermann bring cash to pay with? He could’ve stuck some in his pockets without Newt seeing, or his bank card, even, which would explain the forlorn wallet. Or maybe forgetting the wallet was totally an accident, and he’ll be back in a few seconds to pick it up and pay for real when he realizes. That’s probably it.

When Hermann comes back to their table, though, he doesn’t bother with his wallet—he takes his seat, picks up his wine glass, and tips it at Newt. “That was quite lovely, wasn’t it?”

Newt hums. “It was.”

“I quite liked the fish I got,” Hermann says.

“I loved my noodles,” Newt says. “We should try to copy the recipe back at the base.” He sets his straw delicately on the table. “How’d you pay without your wallet?”

“My wallet?” Hermann says. He makes a show of catching sight of the wallet, arches his eyebrows in mock surprise, and picks it up. Here we go. “Oh, goodness. Did I forget this? Well—it’s not as if I needed it…” He tucks it neatly into his inner jacket pocket.

“Hermann,” Newt says, rolling his eyes. “What’d you do, get a hundred-percent discount by reminding them we saved the world a few months ago?” Hermann shakes his head, and takes a long sip of his wine. “Did you write a check? Did you pretend we got food poisoning or something?” Hermann shakes his head again, and this time, his mouth begins to creep up into a smug smile. Newt remembers the piece of paper. “Dude. You got us a fucking Groupon. No wonder you were being so weird about what I was ordering!”

(“I think we ought to stick with the entrees labelled B, Newton,” Hermann had said, flipping a page forward in Newt’s menu. “They look—er—far better.”

“More expensive,” Newt had said.

“What’s it matter? I’m paying.” Hermann had pointed at the noodle dish Newt had ended up getting. “Look, I reckon you’d like that.”)

Hermann finally grins triumphantly. “I did—and saved us quite a decent from our ‘date night’ fund. Pity it didn’t extend to dessert, I suppose, but we could always find some ice cream at the commissary later.”

Newt can’t even pretend to be exasperated. The noodles rocked. And they would’ve rocked even more if he knew that Hermann was saving them a few bucks. “You’re such a weirdo,” Newt says, shaking his head, though he’s mirroring Hermann’s grin. “Is that why you picked this place?”

“Not entirely,” Hermann says. He takes a long, slow sip of his wine. “Mostly I picked it to make a point.”

“About?”

“About my being right.”

Newt sighs. Only Hermann would dredge up old arguments on Lab Anniversary Night. It wasn’t even an argument, really—all that happened was that Hermann asked Newt to hand him his glasses cleaning cloth from his parka, and it took Newt almost ten minutes because Hermann’s pockets were so jam-packed with a million little coupons for everything from granola bars (which they can get from the mess hall for free) to mouthwash (which Newt can snag from the commissary, also for free, whenever they need it) that he couldn’t find anything but. A majority of them were expired. Then Newt remarked on how Hermann was nuts, and Hermann remarked on how Newt didn’t understand the value of making smart financial decisions, and they went back and forth for a bit like that. This was a whole week ago, too. In terms of Newt and Hermann arguments, that’s more than ancient history. “Are we really talking about the fucking coupons now?” Newt says.

“Frugality pays off,” Hermann says, cryptically. “Now we really ought to head out. The forecast is calling for rain, and I don’t fancy getting caught in it.”

They get caught in the rain anyway. Newt invites himself over to Hermann’s bunk to dry off, because Hermann bought a space heater back when they were stationed in Russia, and it travelled with him here to aid through the long nights of overpowering A/C. Right now, it’s aiding Newt through stripping out of his wet clothes. When he’s down to just his boxers, he snags the quilt from Hermann’s bed, and waits for him to finish up in his little en suite bathroom to hopefully catch a hot shower. One of the unexpected side effects of the world not ending and most nonessential personnel leaving the ‘dome in doves is that they almost never run out of hot water anymore. Newt can take a shower at midnight and not freeze his ass off. It’s awesome, really.

Hermann emerges from the bathroom in a dorky little pair of pajamas, a dressing gown knotted at his waist. “Oh, Newton,” he sighs, and prods at Newt’s blanket cocoon with his cane, “not my grandmother’s quilt.”

“I’m dry!” Newt says. “Mostly!”

He gives up the quilt to Hermann and ducks into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He stuck a spare toothbrush in the medicine cabinet at some point, for when he was too sleepy and lazy after makeout sessions to go back to his bunk, and sure enough he finds it alongside a suspiciously generic-looking tube of toothpaste. It doesn’t even have a label. He doesn’t think much of it until he starts to use it, which is when he immediately gags and begins to rinse his mouth out with hot water. “What the hell is this toothpaste?” he chokes out. “It tastes—awful.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. He ducks his head into the bathroom, looking a bit sheepish. “Well. I found a coupon for that brand, and I know it’s not very, er, pleasant, but—I saved forty percent, Newton.” Newt continues to rinse his mouth out, this time adding some mouthwash into the mix. “Oh, really, now you’re just being dramatic. It’s only toothpaste.”

“Dude,” Newt says. “I feel like I just rubbed, like, acid cement all over my gums.”

“Ah,” Hermann repeats, guiltily.

A bit later, Newt goes in to kiss Hermann goodnight as they settle into Hermann’s bed together, but pulls back with a sad little pout when Hermann merely flinches away from him. “Oh, Newton, I’m sorry,” Hermann says, quickly wrapping his arms around Newt and kissing his neck. It softens the blow somewhat. “It’s that bloody toothpaste. You still smell like it. You’re right, it’s rubbish.”

“Tell you what,” Newt says, grumpily. “I’ll buy you a brand new tube tomorrow. My treat.”

Newt mostly forgets about the coupon thing for a bit. The odd little item crops up in the lab that makes him roll his eyes fondly at Hermann, but nothing as major as the Groupon or toothpaste. Hermann’s preferred tea brand swapped out for something Newt’s never heard of in a flavor that Hermann clearly detests, if his face when he drinks it is anything to go by, for example, the chocolate digestives Hermann keeps in his desk replaced with plain ones, his new box of chalk all in a salmony shade of pink and weak enough to snap apart under his fingers if he presses down too hard on his chalkboard. When Newt asks about the changes, the answer’s always the same: Hermann had a coupon for them, or they were less expensive than his usual. Newt just wishes he could understand where this sudden bought of thriftiness came from. It’s not like it was back during the war, where they had to pinch pennies and save in every area they could if they wanted to supplement their nonexistent funding. They’re actually getting paychecks now, on behalf of the UN’s guilty conscience! They have free room and board! They even put a few neat bucks away from some (heavily-redacted) interviews they did back in late January.

What Newt’s getting at is Hermann doesn’t have to limit them ordering out sushi to only places with free delivery on date nights, or skimp on his pizza toppings (four-topping down to two) so they can use a better coupon, or buy any of those subpar teabags or digestives or toothpaste tubes. But he just…is.

The tipping point occurs on a Saturday night about a month after the Groupon incident.

“Nn. Hermann. Do that again.”

“Do—?"

“Yeah.” Newt groans, turning his head to the side. “Oh, shit.”

“Newton—” Hermann kisses his throat. “Newton, you’re—”

“Wait.” Newt pauses. “What is that?”

“Oh, er.” Hermann pulls his hand away. “You mean the—the—?”

“Yeah. It feels…weird.” He frowns. “That is not what we used last time.”

“Oh. No. It isn’t.” Hermann clears his throat. “Well, Newton—see—we were out, so I thought I’d—I’d buy a larger bottle, to last us longer, and I happened to find a coupon for this lovely—er—gallon-sized—”

“You’re kidding,” Newt says.

“Only I thought it was a very frugal purchase,” Hermann says. “We do tend to, er, burn through it rather quickly.”

Newt rolls away from him. “Dude. We need to have a talk.”

Some brief amount of time later, they sit together on the end of Hermann’s bed, clad in their pajama bottoms and, in Hermann’s case, one of Newt’s sweatshirts. Newt waits until Hermann meets his eyes blushingly before he proceeds. “What is up with you lately?” he says. “You’ve been acting so—weird. Weirder than usual,” he amends. “Since when have you cared about saving a couple bucks on random shit like pizza?”

Hermann fidgets, and sighs, and finally reaches to pull open the drawer of his nightstand. He retrieves a piece of paper folded into quadrants, and for a wild moment Newt thinks it might be another Groupon. “Oh, I wanted it to be a surprise,” Hermann says. “I was going to wait until it was all finalized—but it’s close enough now, so I suppose there’s no harm in it.” He thrusts the paper out at Newt, and Newt—still wondering if it’s not another Groupon—unfolds it with surprise to find what looks like a flight itinerary. Two tickets for Hong Kong to Boston, with a short layover; then two more tickets a week after they land for a short trip from Boston to some town in Maine Newt recognizes as being seaside. They’re made out to Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler and purchased a little over a week ago.

“You kept telling me you wanted me to meet your father,” Hermann says, and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “And—I thought it might be nice, to have an—er—vacation, for a few days. We’ve certainly earned one. And it’s not as if we have any truly pressing obligations at the moment that can’t be put on hold for a week or two. I was planning on booking us a little cottage up in Maine—or maybe just a hotel room, I hadn’t decided—but we don’t have to if you don’t—”

“And you’ve been saving up for it?” Newt interrupts.

“For a few months now,” Hermann says. “Since February, in fact.”

“And that’s why…?”

The tips of Hermann’s ears turn red. “Every penny helped,” he says.

Newt carefully re-folds the itinerary, sets it aside, and then kisses Hermann soundly. It would be safe to say that Hermann’s thoughtful, romantic moods tend to be on the spontaneous side, probably as spontaneous as they are in Newt, so when one strikes Hermann (and in such a perfectly Hermann way as this one) Newt doesn’t like to take it for granted. “Of course I wanna go on vacation with you,” Newt says. “You rock. Seriously.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hermann says, looking pleased.

[yuzenji-archive]

HOW WOULD HAIKYUU BOYS MAKE LIGAW TO YOU?

KARASUNO THIRD YEARS VER!

SYNOPSIS // a series made from the author’s procrastination. please enjoy this series of giri’s headcanons where the haikyuu boys are filipinos.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR // im so sorry for what i made hahahahhhaha hope yall enjoy this

LIGAW // v. to court, to woo.

DAICHI —

oho hes the boy u want ur parents to meet

super respectful

when he goes to see u or whateva he has flowers or tiny gifts

definitely has his priorities straight, he balances his ligaw time with his studies and volleyball and shtuff

ur cousins love him!! and ur uncles too, they invite him for inuman lol but ur aunts and grandma like talking to him, he’s a big delight!

is definitely very serious about courting u and he wants to make a really good impression on ur family

secretly vowed to ur parents/parent/guardian that he will protect u no matter what and that’s a promise he will never ever EVER break

hes the type to write notes to u before the class starts, and always got teased by the guys when he looks at u ayiiiiiii daw HAHA

also offers the help with studies, ya know.. study dates aw my heart <3

hes very responsible as an individual, and u really really like that about him

he courted u for about two years before u said yes to him, and boy was he the happiest kid on earth

KŌSHI —

everyone’s crush is here!!

everyone wants to be u because pogi here is courting u, which means u get some cheesy harana every once in a while

sometimes he gets shooed away by ur guardian/parent bc hes singing outside ur window at night like bro go to bed

he likes jam sessions in class, so he most likely and purposely sings the songs he sang to u so u know that this song is For U and for u only

everyone knows hes singing to u even if hes not directly singing to u, everyone just KNOWS

and ur classmate would start nudging u and stuff like uuuuuuy pansinin mo naman daw kasi si pogi (tr: go give some attention to the handsome kid)

anyways hes extremely cheesy so beware of the cheesy ass pick up lines, i dont make the rules i really dont

hes the type to call on u when he gets called on like.. to read or go up to the board to write something, he just likes holding ur hand when he hands u the chalk/pen

hes quite shy when hes alone with u, like yeah hes all mighty when hes with his friends, but like hes a shy dude when hes actually sitting next to u in class omg

has bought u rings and stuff, he says its a promise ring <3

he probably made ligaw to u for a year and three months, his singing really made his way to ur heart p quickly

ASAHI —

mane, hes the sweetest boy out there

ur parent/guardian always asks “dadating ba si pogi?” before dinner bc this one time u invited him to eat dinner, ur parent/guardian really liked him (tr: is handsome coming tonight?)

a nervous wreck all the time!!

he was clammy on the first day u told him to come and meet ur parents/parent/guardian, like he wanted to make a good impression

hes very mature-looking so he didnt want to come off as someone who is waaaay older than u when really ur the around the same age

he buys things that u remind him of, like the cute heart necklace or a star even

he always has something to give u every day in class, even if its food

he offers to study with u as well before quizzes or exams, he likes doing that bc he likes spending time with u

definitely the type to carry ur books or like offers help with passing out papers or whatevur, he just likes being with u despite his very timid nature

even after u said yes to him, hes still fuckin nervous being around ur parents/parent/guardian and hes always worried that he’ll fuck things up or whatever

he courted u for two and a half years, but at some point in him starting out, he said he would wait forever for ur sweet yes ayiiiii hes so sweet and was a blushing mess right after

[geminiiviolets]

LONG POST AHEAD WOOOOO so I had an idea tonight that I was going to play some really old games that I played when I was little. now I’m not talking like Mariokart or Minecraft on an old Xbox 360 where there’s not even llamas oh no I’m fucking talking

ANIMAL JAM

yes u heard me right, fucking animal jam. So for a bit of backstory. I played this when I was just getting into the great wide world of gaming (if u can even call it that) and i think it’s safe to say that this was one of the first computer games I’d ever played. and I loved it. I loved this game so much that I wrote shitty fanfic of it in an old journal that I had. And if you ever played animal Jam you would remember that you could design ur animals however you wanted and let’s just say that i thought my designs were the Hot Shit™ let’s also say that I was completely wrong

so fast forward a long time its fucking 2021 and I’m sitting at my laptop thinking, “huh what would be fun to do bc I’m really bored?” So I google animal jam and download it to my computer. Now if you remember anything about these types of games (club penguin, webkinz, and the like) there would be a slight paywall to access basically everything. so I dug through some old boxes and behold! there was a membership for 3 months that was lying unused. *rubs hands together and strokes mustache like a kids cartoon villain would* It’s time

so I log in and I’m immediately greeted by the music that I do fondly remember back when I was a short stupid child. and I’m also greeted by a bright pink and purple cheetah that makes my eyes want to jump out of their sockets and roll away

like I said before I was a short stupid child and I thought that these designs were the Hot Shit™ but in reality they were the coldest fucking shit ever. Like colder than Antarctica shit. basically they were horrible

so I go on my merry way to the diamond shop. now if you’ve never played animal jam, diamonds were a sort of premium currency that you could use to buy special and rare items. and diamonds were hard to get. So I’m surprised when I see that I have around 50 of those bad boys tucked away in my wallet. So what do I do?? I splurge every single one on some fancy sakura clothes, a really cool necklace, a tarantula and a turkey. so now I’m vibing with my turkey which I have lovingly named Mister Dude and I decide to redesign my animal. so I find some old rainbow bat wings in my inventor, buy some cool sunglasses and bracelets that are the same colors as the bi flag and boom shaka laka there we have it, a fox that looks like it just stepped out of a pride parade. I lovingly name this fox Gay Catastrophe and then my laptop died. very homophobic of you, laptop.

now I’m waiting for it to recharge so I can go back to animal jam and make an army of turkeys.I haven’t had this much fun in a while.

im planning on making an update to this once my laptop recharges but if I don’t just expect me to be playing genshin and procrastinating on it for the next four weeks okkkkk bye

[sastrugie]

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

The Unwilling Wingman pt 4

this chapter is chaos, but the next will be even better!!!

Josuke had to physically restrain himself from rubbing his hands together maniacally, but he guessed he still looked pretty unhinged walking down the street with his hands stuffed in his pockets grinning wildly. Oh well. Koichi had just given him the best possible idea of how to brainwash Jotaro into loving Rohan. Okay brainwashing his uncle made him feel a little gross , and his plan absolutely did not guarantee love, but it sure as hell was a nearly foolproof way to get Jotaro to ask Rohan on a date. 

Koichi had reminded him of that weird guy obsessed with dogs from their psychology class, and he was pretty sure that if that Russian dude could condition dogs into salivating at the ring of a bell, he could condition Jotaro to ask for food at the mention of Rohan’s name. 

Josuke just needed to associate food with Rohan, which shouldn't be hard because the man looked like a wilted leaf of lettuce. Obviously he couldn't say that, out loud, because of Heaven’s Door, but he could make the link between Rohan and food in another way. Or specifically an association with Rohan and eating at Tonio’s restaurant so that the next time Jotaro sees Rohan (or more like when Josuke schemes for them to meet up) he asks him to go to Tonio’s. Damn brilliant if Josuke did say so himself. 

~~~

“Oh shit ROHAN just texted me.” Josuke had taken Jotaro to Tonio’s six times by now, right after he mentioned Rohan, so now was the perfect time to see if it had worked. He tried not to stare at Jotaro but the stoic man slowly looked up from his notebook and frowned. 

“Have you had lunch yet?” So close, Josuke was sitting at the edge of his seat. 

“Nope! And man am i STARVING!” 

“Wanna go to Tonio’s” 

“YES OF COURSE I DO I LOVE THAT PLACE” Jotaro looked over at Josuke skeptically, and pulled down his cap with a soft yare yare. 

“Lets go now if you're done acting weird.” 

~~~

After another invigorating lunch at Tonio's, Josuke was ready to introduce Rohan into the mix. Enough test runs, hopefully the same reaction held when Jotaro saw Rohan not-so-serendipitously on the street. 

A few days later was the make-or-break moment. He had instructed Rohan to accidentally meet with them up at the corner near the park. Josuke, looked around frantically wondering where Rohan could be when he finally caught sight of his atrocious green hair. 

“Oi Jotaro is that Rohan over there?” Josuke was doing his best to act cool. 

“Maybe.” Replied Jotaro expressionless as ever. Oh shit, Josuke hadn't thought of what would happen if Jotaro was actually embarrassed over standing Rohan up last time… Josuke almost bent over laughing, the idea of Jotaro feeling something as stupidly normal as embarrassment was absurd. 

“OI ROHAN HI!” Josuke waved frantically trying to get the mangaka to look over nonchalantly. Of course he didn't, that little green bastard flipped his hair in the sun and sauntered over swaying his hips in an obscene way that made Josuke feel like he was watching something pornograhic in public. 

“Oh hello Josuke. And Jotaro, almost didn't see you there.” Rohan flashed a sly smile, god that was disgusting. 

“Josuke, is it time for lunch?” Oh god yes it was starting to work. 

“Yeah,” Josuke could feel himself getting light headed, being around them both was just too much, “but sorry Im not feeling so great gotta go do homework or take a nap or something…” This was not the previously discussed excuse, which he realized when Rohan threw him a pointed look. 

“Alright. Rohan do you have any lunch plans?” That was it the magical moment Rohan had been waiting for, his whole face lit up in an expression of happiness that had absolutely no right being on someone like Rohan. 

“I can take a break for an hour or two I suppose.” If Josuke wasn't feeling so physically nauseous from the combined presence of those two he would have slapped that gross little grin right off his face. But Jotaro was there and this was how he was getting paid… 

“Want to go to Tonio’s?” Jotaro suggested in that deadpan voice of his, but oh no! He was looking down and away, tugging at his hat.Oh my god that was just too much for Josuke he had to get out of there before his sneaking suspicion that Jotaro was blushing under his hat was confirmed. 

“Uh bye guys have fun or whatever gotta go!” He shouted as he scurried away. 

~~~~~~

Josuke spent the rest of the afternoon burrowing under his covers trying not to think about how he sold his nephew to a lunatic for the afternoon. Instead he tried to focus on the money he earned and what he would spend it on. Maybe some new shoes, or a new suit! 

It was around 7 when the doorbell rang. His mom was working late tonight so he hesitantly opened the door, to see Tonio standing there with a bag. 

“Oh what's up Tonio?” 

“Rohan wanted me to bring this to you as a ‘thank you’.” Tonio explained. Well, that was actually pretty cool of Rohan Josuke thought. He was also never one to turn down free food.

“Oh also, now I understand why you didn't want Pearl Jam to fix up your food all those other times with Jotaro. Watching him and Rohan heal together was miraculous.” Ok one sec, hold the fuck up. What did he just say? 

Josuke stood there dumbfounded for a few moments before he could spit out a soft, “Excuse me?” 

“They both had so many of the same issues it was apparent to anyone that they are extremely compatible.” It was starting to come back to Josuke, that odd favor Rohan had asked him in the beginning when he started conditioning Jotaro to associate him with Tonio’s. He had requested that Tonio not use Pearl Jam on Jotaro’s food until he was there.

“What did you do to them Tonio.” Josuke was wheezing. Surely Rohan put Tonio up to this, it was just to make him uncomfortable to make up for being nice and buying him dinner. Right? 

“I just gave them what they needed. Turns out it was each other, so romantic dont you think? Finding love in such a classic Italian restaurant such as mine?” Josuke stood there in stunned silence. Which Tonio took as encouragement to continue. In detail.

[artificialac1d]

aswhoa there big ol spirit phone post whoaaaaa. (I WAS ORIGINALLY DOING ALL OF THE ALBUMS BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG SO I’LL DO INDIVIDUAL POSTS FOR THE ALBUMS) (NOT INCLUDING MASHUPS SORRY :[)

alright lets go sorry if theres spelling mistakes i am tired and my keyboard hates me ;[ spirit phone - ok so VERY COOL the first half i feel is supernatural and the second half is more like.... a comment on capitalism?? yeah,, idk either thats what most people say lol. thanks neil!! lifetime achievement award (ebiccc). very long (ab 6 minutes) BUT the length is worth it!! the lyrics are jammin not to mention the instrumental!! the singing is very chefs kiss let alone the effects on the singing!! very cool song. touch tone telephone!! (ttt) so ttt is VERY jammin but its a little overrated. I GET WHY, but it is definitely not the best song made by lemon demon. well i guess thats mostly up to interpretation, but its not the best. the message is cool!!! conspiracy theorist going fucking batshit crazy?? hell yeah!!  cabinet man (😳) how the fuc did this man get in cabinet???? hfgbrfj.. ANYWAYS the beep boop instrumental is one of THE BEST on the album next to the very epic instrumental of as your father i expressly forbid it. anyways, the lyrics and beat are v nice v satisfying!! i love singing this song like, only third to as your father and soft fuzzy man!! singing is hard :[ no eyed girl (where are her eyes???) neil is a monster/alien fucker and you cannot change my mind. no eyed girl is one of my favorite songs!! i mean all of the lemon demon songs are one of my favorite songs but... um,, ANYWAYS. imagine being some guy who just like, made the world get destroyed bc you were horny over an alien. when he died (holy fuck what is up with this dude) the amount of mysteries that are brought up in thius song is AMAZING. when i listen to lemon demon on alexa the only albums i have access to are nature tapes and spirit phone (because i use spotify and not apple music) and i hear this all the time!! its ALWAYS a good time very bangin very jammin 20/10 sweet bod (aha 😳 what do you mean im eating a dead body) neil?? are you sure it isnt sexual??? super synthy and cool!! the funk never ends!!! funky town!! never go down!! (im sorry) the idea of drinking dead bodies to cure cancer though not very cash money. wowie zowie capitalism!! the lyrics make me uncomfortable if im listening to it with someone else BUT if im alone i will  scream sing this song eighth wonder!! (goofy mongoose ends humanity) i heard like in the commentary that neil was proud of this song and honestly, i dont blame him. VERY jammin. i keep saying jammin but i dont have synonyms. i havent read that news article about gef but i should sometime!! the way the song just is is just mwah  ancient aliens!! (caveman go aaaaa) i dont have much to say about this one because it isnt my favorite. NOT because it doesnt jam hard but its just not as good as other ones. man i am mostly just praising neil. this is fun to sing!! instrumental is VERY cool bery epic,,, soft fuzzy man (hhhottie 😳) this is my FAVORITEEEEE i can say SO much about this song on how it JAMS. the little beep boop after the first part is GREAT I LOVE IT. the chorus lives rent free in my brain. singing this is the best source of serotonin !!! ahhh the lyrics and the message!! very cool!! i love that neil made this song as a comment on dudes who think being mysterious is cool (yucfky ew) one lyric taken out of context makes me feel weird but like idk i just link it with something not great (once you go hazy you’ll understand i’m your soft fuzzy man sounds like he roofied someone) BUT i can ignore that because that wasnt the intention of the lyric!! very ebic songgg. as your father i expressly forbid it!! (neils my dad???) whoa,, neil scrEAM,,,, honestly i cant stop thinking of neil’s daughter while listening to this (sorry) but umm THE INSTRUMENTAL IS THE B EST!! the little beeop boop>?>?? YES i love it sorry about like not being able to get ideas across my brain is old computer stalling noise rn i earn my life (he damn earned it) this is my moms favorite!! (yeah she likes it too surprisingly!!) this song is really nice,, verry cool little instrumental bits!! awesome!! singing it is a 10/10 experience!!! reaganomics!! (baby, baby. YEAHHHHHH)  whoa!!! ronald reagan?? and he wants to take you for a ride?? anyways, whoa!! instrumental!! i can tell that neil puts a lot of effort into his songs because ALL of the main tracks are bangers.  man-made object (shit i caught insomnia from looking at the moon😔) SO big ol giant tower towering over everything!!! i kinda have a bad experience with this song because when i drew fanart for it my friend misconstrued the tie i drew with... a sexual organ. (hes fucked up) does NOT mean the song is bad but i get reminded of that whenever i listen to it. very COOL SONG!! YES!! build that giant skyscraper girl you go spiral of ants (im im caught in the spiral of ants girl) whoa last song... ON THE MAIN TRACK AHAHA!! just kidding i cant do the bonus tracks. ANYWAYS whoa!! a tornado of ants? count me in! the lyrics are very epic!! and fun to sing except for the AND WE BECAME A HURRICANE because its a high note and i suck at high notes 😔i did it once but i cant anymore 😔😔this sounds very nice i love it!!  if you read this all the way,, fucking,,,, thANKS because this is hella long im sorry i hope you liked my opinions bye!! <3 i’ll be doing more album stuff in the future (possibly even tonight because i have nothing to do with my life.

[nako-doodles]

13 songs tag 🎵

rules: You can only repeat one artist and only one time, so we can all kind of spread new 🎶 to the people we tag. Try to listen to at least one of the songs people rec here

I was tagged by my love @yooniversaire​ 💖💖💖 thank u bby

1. one song you 💛 the first time you listened to and never got tired of?

tonight - spica everything about this song and mv is so infectiously joyous im sad they disbanded 😭😭

2. one song you 😭 every time you listen or makes you emotional?

here comes the regrets ft. lee hi - epik high and amor fati ft. kim jong wan - epik high...theyve really did something wonderful w these songs......really stepped out of the box........ (see what I did there *wiggles eyebrows*)

3. one song that always makes you happy 😁?

this is a three way tie between calling in love ft. beenzino - suran, very nice - svt, and really really - winner I realize this said ONE song but you cant have too many happy songs ok.

4. one song that you would dedicate to your best friend and/or your family?

black pearl - exom to my best friend for jamming together w me to this song on the school bus for the entirety of my sophomore year and forever cementing our nerd status at school, and mama don’t worry - sam kim to my parents bc they've always been so worried about me since i havent really grown up w them and they still always make sure to check in w me

5. one song with a production (the sounds, the beat, the mood) you 😍?

bro imma cheat and say the entirety of primary’s newest single when i fall in love ft. meego, suran and slow down ft. meego, haon both songs are so fucking good and soothing i have NO WORDS primary really fucking outdid himself this time....I really wanted to say primary’s entire 2 album but this new single.... god damned sir hats off to you

6. one song with perfect, amazing, outstanding lyrics?

stand out fit in - one ok rock. i was fucking inconsolable listening to this the first time thank you one ok rock thank you taka

7. one song that you would recommend to anyone?

暗香 (hidden fragrance? its hard to translate) specifically the one covered by the one on the chinese vers of I am a singer. this man fucking slayed it dude!!!!!! hes not even a native speaker and the first time I heard him sing I didnt even realize. I just thought he had a dialect towards the end (lets be real no one speaks perfect standard mandarin unless youve been through professional training) bravo my dude ((and if you dont count covers goodbye - park hyoshin is also a MUST)

8. one song you don’t understand why you like so much but you do anyway?

icy - itzy. its so loud. and poppy. and stereotypical bright happy bubblegum nasally 90% rap instrumental mess of a kpop girl group song and like......everything i shouldn't like in a song but here I am going I SEE THAT IM ICY!!!!!!! THEY KEEP TALKIN’!!!!!!!! I KEEP WALKING!!!!!!!!! AJFIOJEIAO BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. one song that you think people, in general, wouldn’t like but you do?

any rania song tbh. they get so much flack for doing really risqué sexy concepts but like their songs are ALL bops??? pop pop pop?????masquerade?????? demonstrate?????? yall are missing out

10. one song people normally like and you don’t like or hate?

ok i wouldn't call it “hate” or even “dislike” but i just....dont get the hype for fake love? like im elated that jin has more lines and screen time and they all look fantastic and the mv is great and yes at dramatic crying and references to hyyh and ly:tear is a fucking masterpiece but like fake love just......isnt my jam.......its how i feel when people talk about how hot benedict cumberbatch is......like on an objective stance I guess???? sure???????????......i really dont get it

11. one song you would call a masterpiece?

again one can never have too many masterpieces so here's a trio: the chaser - infinite, beautiful night - beast, and error - vixx. you can never have too much orange juice, so to speak

12. one song you recently (last 30 days max) discovered and really liked?

ive been obssessed w tired - nive ever since dee introduced it to me. (((im still going thru ur recent batch of recs my love plus I need to find music to rec back to you!!!!! so hang on!!!!!!!)))

13. one song you listen to to get pumped like you wanna tear down the fucking government or something?

dead end in tokyo - man with a mission its the first song on my playlist ‘the labors of hair-cules.’ its what I play when I need to wax my legs or really undergo any pain. im a wimp. (cry out and we are by one ok rock is also a great call to arms song, as is fly again 2019 - man with a mission but the rules are there so shhhhhh pretend this addition doesnt exist)

--

I tag my loves @cafejoon @stargazingjin @yunkisunbae @ksj1​ @jincentvangogh​ @yourdelights​ @yooniversaire​ @suggable🌸🌸🌸 to do this mess

[albapuella]

How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Two)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday. Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 1:

Despite his slacker appearance (and life-style, to be honest), Dave was always punctual. He'd even made an effort to look the part of a guy going on a date with another guy: jeans with only a few holes at the knees, his favorite record shirt, and a red hoodie—all freshly cleaned. So freshly cleaned that the sweater was still very slightly damp. Well, whatever, it'd be fine. They were having dinner first, and that meant he'd have plenty of time for the thing to dry out before they went to the movies where the main thrust of Dave's doki-doki plan would commence.

Karkat arrived a few minutes later. He wasn't dressed to the nines, but it was at least to the sevens. It occurred to Dave, as he watched him approach, that he hadn't known how tall Karkat was. The answer was slightly shorter than Dave but with a more solid build. Stocky. Or maybe that was just the black sweater he was wearing. Then again, his legs looked pretty solid in the black pants he was wearing, too. Either way, he looked good.

Dave gave him an appreciative whistle which made Karkat's eyes narrow. Not the reaction he'd wanted. “Looking good, Karkat,” he said quickly, hoping to smooth over any feathers he might have inadvertently ruffled. “I'm digging the whole sexy college professor thing you've got going.”

“Uh, thanks,” Karkat said with evident disbelief. “You, uh, you look good, too.” He straightened up. “You said we were doing dinner first.”

“Yep.” Dave held out his arm. “I’m taking you to my favorite place. A lot of people think it’s wack, but I’m buying, so if you really don’t like it, at least it didn’t cost you anything.” When his date didn't immediately take his offered arm, he shook it invitingly. “It's not too far from here.”

Karkat looked from Dave's arm to Dave, suspicious. Then he sighed and laid his hand on Dave's arm, his hold tighter than Dave had expected it to be considering his earlier hesitation. “Okay. Fine. Sounds great. Let's go.”

---

The first thing Karkat noticed when he took Dave's arm was that his sleeve was damp. Then he noticed the feeling of the arm beneath his fingers. Despite looking thin enough to break, there was some muscle here. As they walked to what was apparently Dave’s favorite restaurant, Dave just kept talking. If Karkat had been offered a thousand dollars, he doubted he could have remembered any specific details of the inanity he'd been subjected to. A nervous talker. He'd have to put that down in his notes.

Dinner went much the same. Dave talked at him while Karkat sat there trying to eat his food (overpriced, faux Italian—of all the places Dave could have chosen, he'd picked a fucking Olive Garden? That was going in his notes, too.). In all honesty, Karkat tried not to pay too much attention to what was being said. First, he'd already determined that most of what came out of this man's mouth was completely meaningless nonsense, and second, if he actually listened to any of it, he'd be hard pressed not to respond to the idiocy. While Dave had no evident compunction about swearing, Karkat wanted to get through at least this first date without screaming.

All right, so that was an exaggeration. Some of what Dave said was actually pretty funny. In a hopelessly awkward sort of way. Karkat hated that Dave's clumsy compliments were making him blush. Clearly, the man had brain damage... which also explained the rapping that Dave kept doing (completely unprovoked!). By the time dinner was over, Karkat was only too grateful that their next destination meant that Dave would have to stop talking.

---

Since Dave had picked the restaurant, Karkat had picked the movie. Some romantic comedy chick flick Dave couldn't be bothered to remember the title of. Still, it gave him an opportunity to sit right tight next to Karkat and eat his weight in popped, buttery goodness, so he really couldn't complain.

“What’s the deal with that dude?” Dave whispered. “I thought he was already tight with that other chick. What gives? Is he cheating on her?”

Karkat made a noise like a cat being stepped on but softer. “Dave,” he whispered back, his tone full of the same sing-songy patient impatience that Rose would use when she thought Dave was being particularly dim, “if you were paying attention, you'd already know that that 'dude' is that 'other chick's' cousin. They are probably not romantically involved. I know you're from Texas, but that's not how it works above the Mason Dixon line.” Then he ducked his head and took a long drink from his soda. “Sorry. Just-just watch the movie and be quiet.”

Dave blinked. He'd been starting to think Karkat wasn't going to open up at all. At least, he'd had fuck all to say during dinner. Even if it had been an incest joke at his expense, it still was nice to hear Karkat say something. Something that wasn't just non-committal noises or unenthusiastic agreements. He leaned against Karkat's shoulder to whisper, “It's not true, you know. About Texas. We don't fuck our cousins; I mean, we do, but not first cousins. We're strictly second cousins only. It's a rule. Of course, none of my second cousins are as hot as you, so I'd be willing to make an exception. Just this once.”

This earned him a light elbowing to the gut and a low growl, but Karkat didn't push him off.

By the end of the movie, Dave had gotten five more elbows to the gut, three startled bursts of laughter, two creative insults (quickly joined by muttered apologies), and one “Will you please just let me watch this movie?” Over all, Dave felt like he'd succeeded in charming the hell out of this motherfucker, thank you very much.

They'd walked out into the open air, a nice breeze whisking away the smell of popcorn and sweat from the movie theater. “I had a lot of fun, Karkat. Thanks for coming on this date with me. Do you think we could do this again sometime?”

Karkat blinked at him, a clear look of surprise on his face. “Oh, uh, sure.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, I'd love to go on another date with you.”

Dave's heart leapt. “Awesome. You can hit me up on Pesterchum. Or I can hit you up. How about I hit you up?”

“Fine, that's... that's fine.” Karkat's smile seemed uneven. “I'll be looking forward to it.”

Although Dave was tempted to try for a kiss, he didn't think he ought to press his luck so far on the first date. Karkat had loosened up some while they'd been in the theater, but out here under the streetlight, he looked nervous again. The last thing Dave wanted to do was chase him away. “Okay then. I guess I'll see you later?”

A slow nod. “Yeah, later.” Karkat was stilted and contained again. Restricted, like a hermit crab stuck in a shell that was too tight. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. Dave had caught a few glimpses of the real Karkat tonight, and the sight made him hungry to see more.

Dave watched him walk away, admiring the view with a new goal in mind: he was going to get Karkat Vantas out of his shell if it was the last thing he did. Getting to rub him in Rose’s face at her wedding was only going to be a bonus.

---

* Never shuts up. Not even during movies. Especially during movies. Attention span of a gnat. From Texas. Doesn't know how to use a dryer. Finds me attractive. Probable brain damage. Funny. Charming. Obnoxious. Never takes off sunglasses. Olive Garden.

Karkat sighed and set down his pen. He'd tried his best to be as cordial as he knew how to be, and he still hadn't managed to last for the entire four hours without insulting his date. Multiple times. Oh well. At least Dave was apparently brain damaged enough to find rudeness terribly amusing (if the way he'd kept bugging Karkat during the movie had been any indication).

He'd been surprised when Dave had actually asked if they could go on another date. Karkat knew he hadn't made the best impression, and yet Dave wanted to spend more time with him? He looked over his notes, trying to ignore the surge of happiness that filled him at the thought. It didn't mean anything: Dave was clearly an idiot, and after a few more days, Karkat was going to start on the offensive. Whatever meager promise there would have been in this fledgling romance, it was still doomed from the start: like all of Karkat's relationships.

Day 2:

It was all Dave could do to wait until the next day to pester Karkat. He didn't want to come off as too eager, after all. Didn't want to put Karkat off. But Dave was only so strong.

TG: so i was thinking TG: if youre not busy TG: we could go to the park this afternoon TG: watch the grifters and maybe get robbed TG: or you could come to my place and hang TG: is it too soon to do that? TG: asking for a friend TG: this is dave by the way TG: i dont know how many people youre talking to TG: not that its any of my business TG: i wouldnt want you up in my grill asking me who im talking to CG: IT IS SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAY. TG: yea and youre up anyway CG: BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP. WITH YOUR TEXTS. THAT YOU SENT JUST NOW. TG: oh shit sorry CG: IT'S FINE. I NEEDED TO GET UP ANYWAY. CG: YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? WHY?

Dave frowned down at his phone. Was Karkat fishing for compliments or was he being serious?

TG: because its fun to hang out with you TG: thats how this works right? TG: i thought we could watch another movie TG: at my place TG: or your place i guess if that works better for you TG: ive got popcorn if that sweetens the deal at all CG: YES. BECAUSE THE WAY TO MY HEART IS MICROWAVED POPCORN. TG: fucking called it CG: … CG: FINE. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PARK AT 2:30PM. IS THAT ACCEPTABLE? TG: perfect ill meet you by the giant yo CG: YOU MEAN THE OY/YO. TG: tomatoes tomotoes karkat

Dave watched the little “CG is typing” message run for almost a minute, feeling his nervousness grow. What had he said that required a novel length response? He managed to reign in the impulse to apologize preemptively, but it was a struggle.

CG: OKAY. WHATEVER. I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Fine, good then. Nothing was wrong.

TG: im looking forward to it TG: its not hard to intuit TG: when we come out to debut TG: sit by the yo then well go round TG: downtown get the lowdown TG: before we get busy in the hissie TG: partake of the fizzie cause we got a duty TG: to watch the fuck out of this movie CG: RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN. BYE.

Dave shrugged. He couldn't expect Karkat to really appreciate his off the cuff rhymes so soon after waking up, he supposed. Maybe they'd land better later. Flat reception or not, the important thing was he'd gotten Karkat to agree to come to his apartment. He looked around, frowning. Maybe he should clean up a little.

---

Jesus Fucking Christ. Karkat tossed his phone on the bedside table with a groan. It had been all that he could do not to curse out Dave like there would never be a tomorrow. Considering the fact that he was currently planning to go to the apartment of a practical stranger, that much might just be true for him. He lay in bed a little longer, out of spite mostly—he could never get back to sleep after being woken up—, before getting out from under the covers. First things first: notes.

* Inconsiderate asshole. Horrible rapper. Calls the OY/YO “the YO”. Doesn't know the right way to express “tomatoes, tomahtos”. Wants to spend time with me. Insane. We have that much in common.

Thanks to Dave's wake-up call, Karkat had plenty of time to eat a hearty breakfast and start his article.

“How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure” BY KARKAT VANTAS

Since you have decided to read this article, I will assume that you are looking to learn the art of ruining your relationships without the mess of all that trial and error. Maybe you enjoy breaking hearts. Maybe you are the kind of masochist who enjoys getting their heart broken but is at a loss as to how to properly sabotage your relationship yourself. If you can manage to follow these simple steps, you will be well on your way to the same bitter loneliness that usually only the most unlucky in love get the privilege to experience. 

The first step is the victim. For the purposes of this article, I picked one that is particularly obnoxious and brain dead. You may have different qualities you are looking for in a potential short-term partner. Ultimately, the most important thing to consider when you plan to lose a guy (or gal or enby) is that you make certain they are one you do not mind losing. That way you can start the process without any regrets.

The second step is the hook. Laugh at their dumb jokes; accept their stupid compliments; ignore their mangling of the English language (in my case, his horrible rapping); and generally be as agreeable as you can manage. A severe lack of intelligence in your short-term partner can be a boon here, though you will find most people are not immune to flattery. You need to make certain that you have your short-term partner well and truly interested in you before you attempt to lose them. If you try to lose them too soon, you will miss out on the full relationship ruining experience.

A little too informal, maybe, but a fine start. Depending on how well this afternoon went (assuming he wasn't murdered and stuffed in a closet), maybe Karkat would be able to start on step three. He was able to stomp down his nascent guilt with ease. After all, Dave wouldn't have been interested in him after the novelty wore off anyway.

---

The afternoon was a little warmer than the evening had been, but Dave still wore his hoodie. It felt lucky, and it was still clean. More the latter than the former, but the point stood! He sat down on the bench next to the giant yellow YO installation and waited. While it was tempting to shoot a message to Karkat, he decided against it. He’d be seeing him in less than ten minutes, and he didn’t want him to think he was clingy. Which he wasn’t. Totally not. Dave Strider had never clung his whole life. Ask anyone. Except Jade. Don’t ask her. 

He noticed his leg was bouncing and put a stop to that noise. He was a cool operator. He had this thing on lock. The date yesterday had gone good, right? Karkat wouldn’t have agreed to see him again if he’d had a terrible time. He pushed back his hood and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing to worry about. He’d have a date for Rose’s wedding and continue sorting out the mystery that was Karkat Vantas.

Dave heard the crunch of gravel and looked over to see Karkat approaching. Another sweater combo, but gray this time. The guy had a style he preferred, clearly. It was fine: he looked great. He stood and closed the distance between them. “Hey, Karkat.”

“Hey,” Karkat returned, frowning. Of course, that seemed to be his default expression. “I brought a movie to watch,” he said gruffly. 

Although Dave had been hoping he’d be able to pick the movie this time, he wasn’t too cut up about it. It might be a little early in the relationship to bring out The Room anyway. He wouldn’t know. “Sounds great. My place isn’t too far from here.” He held his arm out. “Shall we?”

Again, Karkat regarded his arm with suspicion. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

Karkat opened his mouth before seeming to think better of whatever he’d planned to say. “Never mind.” He took Dave’s arm. “Let’s get going.”

As they walked to his apartment, Dave tried to keep the conversation flowing, but Karkat’s subdued responses quickly killed his enthusiasm. “I feel like I’m talking too much,” he said finally. 

Karkat mumbled something which sounded suspiciously like “You think?” before he shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m just a little too tired to, uh, participate, that’s all.”

Dave winced at the reminder of his first faux pas of the day. “No problem, dude. I got us covered. I got words for days.”

“Months even,” Karkat added before ducking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

Nudging Karkat’s side, Dave laughed. “Nah, man it’s true. I’ve got words for fucking years.”

Karkat smiled slightly. “Decades.”

“Centuries.”

“Eons”

“Until the next motherfucking epoch, I’ve got words, Karkat. So many words. All the words even.”

Karkat snorted, covering his face with his free hand. “Damn it, Dave. Stop making yourself likeable.”

“I think that’s the point of this whole thing,” Dave pointed out reasonably. “Dating, I mean. It’s not like the old days where your dad and my dad decide if you’re worth enough chickens to trade me for, you know. These days I get to decide for myself how many chickens I want to be traded for.” He gave Karkat a mock critical eye. “How about it, Karkat? How many chickens could I get for you?”

“I don’t know,” Karkat said, his mock serious tone almost too close to a serious tone for Dave’s comfort. “Let me look in my pocket.” He made a show of staring down at the pocket containing his free hand before sliding the hand out and flipping Dave the bird. “Is this enough for you?”

Dave laughed. “I’m sorry, Karkat. You must have at least five chickens to ride this ride.” He felt his face flush but pushed onward. “I guess you’ll have to settle for a movie, and maybe some pizza.”

Karkat was grinning, and Dave decided right then and there that he wanted to keep seeing it. “Maybe next time.” As though to intentionally spite him, Karkat frowned again. “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, man, just a little further.” As they continued their journey to his apartment, Dave felt himself frown. What was Karkat’s deal? He was a lot more fun when he let himself be himself. Dave didn’t like meanness for meanness sake, but he enjoyed a good joke. For some reason, Karkat seemed to think he shouldn’t joke around? Why? His frown deepened. Karkat also apologized a lot. And he was so often deferential even when it was obvious he had OPINIONS he wasn’t sharing. The pieces were adding up to a disturbing picture. 

Maybe after he was done hanging out with Karkat today, he should hit up Rose. She’d know what to do.

---

Karkat’s expectations for Dave’s apartment had been fairly low, and he’d been pleasantly surprised. While not as meticulous as his own apartment, there at least weren’t empty food containers on every surface or dirty clothes everywhere. There was an overall shabbiness though: the feeling that the occupant didn’t care overly much about the apartment’s upkeep. The futon in front of the television was ancient and threadbare as were the carpets. The posters hung on the walls were dusty and faded, and there was a sort of mildewy smell. Still, as previously mentioned it was clean (more or less), and there were no obvious signs of a hidden murder dungeon (not that there would be if there were one, naturally). 

“Nice place,” he said for politeness’ sake. 

Dave beamed like a little boy who’d gotten just what he’d wanted for Christmas. “Thanks. It’s not much, but it keeps the rain off.” He gestured towards the futon. “Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got apple juice. And water from the tap, I guess. I could go pick up some beer if you want to go that route, or--”

Karkat held up his hand, hoping to stem the tide of suggestions. “Water’s fine, thank you.”

“You’ve got it,” Dave said before tilting his head and making twin awkward gestures with both hands involving his pointer fingers. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

It wasn’t until after he’d disappeared into, presumably, the kitchen that Karkat realized he’d been making finger guns. What a dork. Not that Karkat was any more suave, but he liked to think he was at least less childish. He tried to supplant the rush of fondness he felt by recalling just how pissed he’d been with this manchild this morning. It was not one hundred percent successful.

Dave returned with two glasses: water for Karkat, and apple juice for himself. “Take a seat,” he insisted as he set the glasses on the coffee table (sans coasters). “It won’t bite.”

Gingerly, Karkat took a seat on the ancient futon. The padding was so thin, he could feel the bars beneath. It was going to take a while to become unbearable, and he hoped this hang out? date? didn’t last long enough for that to happen. Just as he’d been about to reach for the water, suddenly uncertain whether he actually ought to drink anything Dave gave him, Dave flopped down onto the futon beside him like a sack of gangly flour. “Dave!”

“S’up?” Dave asked, grinning. 

“Don’t ‘s’up’ me--,” Karkat managed to stop himself from calling Dave an asshole, but only just. “Just don’t ‘s’up’ me. Speak like a normal person.” He realized he was making a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “Sorry, I--”

“Dude,” Dave said, his grin dropping away, “Karkat, you don’t have to apologise for every kind of mean thing you say. I’m a big boy: I can take it.” 

Karkat supposed he shouldn’t be surprised: he’d never been good at pretending to be a good person. If he could have managed that feat for any length of time, he wouldn’t be in this position. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as dryly as he could. 

“I’m serious.” Dave sat up and turned to face Karkat head on, and Karkat saw his own annoyed expression mirrored in the black lenses. “I haven’t known you very long, and maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but--”

“You’re right,” Karkat interrupted, feeling his tenuous hold on his temper slipping. “You shouldn’t say anything.” After taking a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to say anything he didn’t mean to, he spoke again. “Let’s just watch the movie and eat some microwaved popcorn. Does that sound like something we could do? Or would you like to keep pretending you have some deep insights into my character as though we’ve known each other longer than three days?”

Dave raised his hands, and Karkat realized he’d sounded far more aggressive than the situation warranted. At this rate, he wouldn’t even get a chance to lose this asshole! Nice job, Vantas: stellar work. “No, you’re right. I’ll step off.” Dave said softly. He got off of the futon with far more grace than he’d flopped onto it with. “You just put the movie in, and I’ll, uh, I’ll make the popcorn.”

Karkat watched him go before putting his head in his hands. Well, fuck. As though this whole situation hadn’t been awkward before. He should just leave. Just leave, forget about his stupid article, and stop dragging this stupidly likeable idiot down with him. He should. 

He stayed where he was. 

---

Dave took maybe longer than he absolutely needed to to prepare the popcorn. As much as he liked to consider himself a smooth operator, he could tell when he’d made a mistake, and he wanted to give the guy in the other room a chance to cool down. What made it made it worse was that Karkat had been right to get mad at him: Dave barely knew him. In his place, Dave would probably be pissed, too. 

Even so, Dave didn’t think he was wrong about the conclusions he’d come to. It was obvious that Karkat was, for whatever reason, putting on a show for Dave’s sake. Honestly, it was kind of creepy. If he understood why Karkat felt the need to do that, he’d feel better about it.

But it wasn’t his business. Not yet. Maybe you had to reach a certain level on the boyfriend echeladder before that kind of thing was something you talked about. It would probably help if they were actually boyfriends and not just newly dating, too. There seemed to be at least one obvious solution to that problem.

Dave could be patient. After all, he still had eleven days or so to get Karkat to at least like him enough to be his plus one at Rose’s wedding. It wasn’t all he wanted anymore, but it'd be enough to start with. As Rose had so often told him, start with small goals. 

He poured an obscene amount of butter over the popcorn in the bowl and headed out to the living room. Karkat was bent over, fiddling with the DVD player, and when he looked up at Dave, his mouth was curved somewhat upwards. “What movie do you have for us?”

Karkat stood. “Coming to America.” He made his way back to the futon and sat down as though worried he might fall through if he sat down too quickly. “It’s more comedy than romantic, so I thought you might enjoy it more.”

That sounded vaguely familiar. “Okay.” Dave joined him on the futon, taking care not to startle him this time. “Let’s get this party started.”

---

Karkat had hoped bringing a comedy would hold Dave’s attention enough to keep him from talking through the whole thing. He’d been mistaken. Yes, a lot of what Dave said was funny, but it just never fucking stopped. Finally, Karkat couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. Then he very deliberately set the remote back down. “I want you to listen to me, Dave. Are you listening?”

Dave looked confused, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’m listening. Do you have something you want to tell me? I’m all ears. Lay it on me.”

God, he couldn’t even listen without rambling! “Would it kill you to shut up?” He saw Dave’s eyebrows peek over the tops of his glasses. A part of him told him to reconsider his current course of action, but naturally, Karkat could never abide by a piece of good advice. “Would it literally cause you to drop dead if you couldn’t expel your idiocy out of your mouth like a goddamned septic pipe full of half-formed metaphors and bullshit? Would your head explode? Can we try that experiment and see what happens?” Karkat felt his fingernails biting into his palms and realized he’d clenched his fists. “What do you say, Dave? Wait, I’ve changed my mind: don’t say anything. Let me bask in the gentle ethereal glow of silence for a moment. Can you do that for me, Dave? Can you let me bask? Will the endless flow of words finally cease?”

‘No’ was clearly the answer to that question since Dave was already opening his mouth. Then, to Karkat’s utter shock, he shut it again. His expression wasn’t ever easy to read with those douche shades he insisted on wearing all the time, but now it was completely closed off. Even the eyebrows had lowered back to their original position.

Silence stretched between them. 

Karkat felt sick to his stomach. Shit. Shit. He really just couldn’t do it, could he? Couldn’t pretend even for a few hours that he was a normal person. Well, so much for this experiment. Time to write off this little adventure. Was it worth even trying to apologise? Before he could decide, Dave made the decision for him. 

He was clapping. “Damn, just got owned,” he said, a wide grin splitting his face. “You owned me, Karkat. You should feel proud. Not everyone gets own this,” he gestured to himself. “I just hope you know what you’re getting into: I’m barely house trained.”

For an embarrassingly high number of seconds, all Karkat could do was blink. “You’re not mad?”

“Fuck no,” Dave said, still grinning. “I’m a big kid now. I’ve graduated from diapers all the way to pull ups. It takes more than a finely crafted, well-deserved take down to take me down.” The grin softened. “This is what I was trying to say before: I want to date you, not some weird super agreeable version of you. If you want to tell me off for talking too much, fucking go for it. You’ve got a way with insults--it’s a gift. Frankly, I’m insulted you’ve been keeping it to yourself.”

“There’s more where that comes from, asshole,” Karkat said before he could stop himself. To his amazement, Dave still seemed more amused than anything. A strange mixture of anger and fondness welled up inside him. “Stop grinning at me, and watch the fucking movie.” He picked up the remote and hesitated. “You don’t have to be silent,” he said, still feeling a little guilty over his earlier outburst, “just maybe less talking?”

Dave made a big show of running a zipper over his lips. Then he immediately ruined it by saying, “Scouts honor, Karkat. My word is bond. You can cash that shit at the bank.”

Karkat tried to picture Dave as a boy scout and failed. “Right.” He pressed play and the movie resumed. Of course, Dave still talked during the movie, but the sheer volume of words had slowed to a moderate stream rather than the full-bore blasting Karkat had been subjected to earlier. As he sat there on the futon, occasionally answering Dave’s stupid comments with barbs of his own, he felt warm in a way that was only nominally connected to the temperature of the arm he was leaning against. He felt… content.

---

Overall, Operation Hang Out had been a big success. It had been rocky in places, but again, overall, Dave felt like he’d hit his major mission objectives. A movie was watched, pizza was consumed, and Karkat finally, finally, did something other than apologise every time a hint of the person he’d met at the cafe had come through. He didn’t necessarily want to keep pissing Karkat off, but that bitch fit he’d thrown had been epic. 

Karkat wasn’t the kind of guy Dave had expected to find himself interested in. At least, he’d never thought he’d have a grumpy asshole kink. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the more quiet parts of Karkat’s visit, too. It had felt nice to sit on the futon with someone leaning against his shoulder. Dave wasn’t a sap, no, not a suave guy like him, but he couldn’t deny he’d like to do it again some time. 

He considered texting Rose as he’d planned to earlier before deciding not to. After all, he’d managed the first crisis all on his own, and she might consider it cheating if he got her help. No, for now at least, this bird was flying solo.

---

* Clean apartment. Finger guns. Puts too much butter on popcorn. Also talks during movies outside theater setting. Likes getting insulted. Kink?  Wants to date the “real” me. Delusional. Comfortable arm. Had a nice time. Had acceptable time. Clothes in his shower??? 

[chimmy-joos]

The Proposal part 5 |M|

Description: You’re tired of being alone for years without a boyfriend so you propose a deal to Jimin. Little did you know your little affair will unfold to be more than secret kisses at night.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 12.2K

Tags: angst, smut, fluff, swearing, slight sub!Jimin, masturbation, slight cum play, oral sex

Part 1 2 3 4

A/N: for starters, I apologize for the long wait. I had a hard time planning this chapter out and put myself in a rut because of it. Word of advice, don’t think about it too much. Just write. I know a lot of you have been asking about this update and I regret how long it took, but in any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter and im sorry please don’t kill me

Three Months. It had been three whole months since the last time Jimin had spoken to you.

To be more exact, it had been two months and twenty seven days, but Jimin didn’t count the days where you walked into class during the middle of a lecture because you didn't look at him—not even bothering to acknowledge his existence. To a degree, Jimin respected the way you exhibited pride. So much so that he might call himself a masochist for wishing you would glance at him just once, even if it was a glare. At least you still knew he existed. Other than that, there was absolutely no contact. He wondered if you blocked him, or worse, deleted his number. The last thing you had said to him was, 'let's end this' and to top it off, it wasn't even in person. Jimin reread his messages with you over and over again as his mind thought of millions of ways to once again say hello.

Jimin knew he was at fault, but he couldn't muster up the courage to apologize because… What would you say? You were too strong and independent of a woman to give into his apology so easily, but at the same time you were so sweet and merciful, it gave Jimin all the more hope to believe that you would forgive him.

It was a shameful thing for Jimin to admit that he spent the beginning of summer vacation moping around his apartment when he should be out enjoying the little window of freedom he had, but his motivation to do anything was at a new low. He didn't know how to feel, frankly. It was the first time Jimin had ever felt this way towards a girl, dealing with these foreign heart twinges and clammy hands like a middle schooler trying to whoo his crush.

It had only been three months, but there wasn't a day Jimin didn't think of you.

—

“Jimin, you have to stop this.” Taehyung snapped at Jimin as he stood wit his hands crossed over his chest. Taehyung was blocking Jimin’s view of late night re-runs of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and he wasn’t very appreciative of the new view in front of him: Taehyung’s light blue striped boxers. Well, in all fairness, Jimin had no right to complain when he too was wearing bright red Calvin Klein briefs. When three college boys live in a small apartment with no women coming in or out of here, there really isn’t a reason to dress to impress anyone.

“Get your dick out of my face.” Jimin glared menacingly at his best friend. Taehyung stood his ground and even had the audacity to stick his hips out.

“Not until you get off of this couch. If you sit here any longer, your ass will get flat and nobody will want to take you on a date.” Taehyung snickered. Jimin knew he was simply trying to get under his skin and he wasn’t going to allow it. He stood up and shoved Taehyung in the chest with his arm with enough force for him to lean back. Jimin glared him from the same eye-level now.

“Don’t spite me, Tae. I’m not in the mood.” He snarled. Taehyung, with a smile on his lips, gently lowered Jimin’s arm and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I don’t mean any harm, brother,” he said. Jimin scoffed and whipped around. He turned off the t.v. and retreated to his room, Taehyung trudging shortly behind, still casually shirtless with his hands shoved in his boxers. (At the sides, of course.) Jimin fell onto his desk chair and let it swirl him around while Taehyung jumped on his bed, messing up the blankets more than it already was. “You need to stop this, dude.”

“I literally haven’t done anything, what are you talking about?” Jimin threw his hands up in distress.

“That’s exactly it!” Taehyung straightened his back and clasped his hands together, as if he was about to drop some real shit. “You’ve been dragging your depressed ass around this apartment and it feels like someone died in here every time I come home! What you need to do is get out of this house—maybe go on a drive or go to the gym.”

“Which I do very often,” Jimin intervened, pointing to his car keys on top of his desk. Jimin stretched his arm out and gestured at his muscular bicep. “Just because I sit at home more often now doesn’t mean that I’m neglecting other shit. At least I’m still paying rent.”

“Jimin, as your roommate, I couldn’t care less about what you do as long as you’re contributing, but as your best friend, I can’t stand seeing you like this. You can’t forget who you are just because of some girl.”

Again, Jimin glared. “She’s not just some girl.”

“Oh really? Then why haven’t I seem her in last three months?” Taehyung raised a brow and that immediately shut Jimin up. "I've known you since high school and I know how you are with girls that you like. You always find a way to fuck shit up with them."

Jimin couldn't even begin to argue because if anyone could prove him wrong, it was Taehyung, the one man who actually knew Jimin. Feeling content with Jimin's silence, Taehyung continued.

"Remember what happened with Soo Rin?"

Jimin rolled his eyes and groaned; his neck rolled around. "Soo Rin was talking to like, 50 guys at once."

"True, but that's not my point. My point is how you stopped talking to her because your pathetic ass felt too insecure about her not liking you and what happened afterwards? You found out that she was waiting for you to ask her out."

"And then I found out that she was talking to 50 guys."

"Yeah, but would Y/N really do that?" Again, Jimin kept silent and Taehyung knew he was right. Then, he straightened up abruptly.

"Okay fine, lets say I make up with Y/N. Then what? Things won't be the same." Jimin shook his head, remembering his own faulty actions. Taehyung shrugged at him, lips stretched into a linear smile.

“You start over. Make things right with her, actually create a connection with her. You know, friends without benefits.” Taehyung suggested. Little did he know that that common ground had already been established by long phone calls that lasted throughout the night where you spilled more than what you should’ve. Jimin didn’t mind in the slightest. He was more or less thankful that you were such an open book. It saved him the effort and hardship of breaking down your trust walls.

Jimin tilted his head, looking at Taehyung with big, beady eyes. “Do you really think that’s going to work?” He asked with a sliver of hope in his voice.

Taehyung shrugged his broad shoulders. “It’s better than sitting on your ass all day blasting old school R&B slow jams, don’t you think?” He suggested and he crossed his legs. “Can I ask you a serious question?”

Jimin didn’t answer, but instead wrinkled his brows in a skeptical way, as if to say, what are you up to this time?

“Do you love her?” Taehyung asked. The word love sounded so childish and foreign to him, but then again it was Jimin who couldn’t comprehend the concept of love. He had never felt this way about anybody before and it threw him in for a loop. He sighed deeply, and rubbed his face with his hands and raked them through his hair.

“I don’t know anything about love, dude.” Jimin laughed at himself and shook his head in disbelief.

“No ones an expert. I say, take my advice because she’s a really great girl. Like—a thousand times better than any other girls you’ve dated.”

Jimin scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

Of course he knew. He knew more than anyone about how you can completely change the room’s atmosphere with a single jingle of your laughter. He hasn’t met a single person—a single soul in the world much like yours. You see the world differently, but you’re so accepting of everything. You’re truly a saint and Jimin can’t help but feel his encounter with you was a trial to test his capabilities to cherish someone. And he even managed to fuck that up. Then again, these infatuated thoughts of you that muddled his brain were only affecting him. He knew neither Taehyung nor Jungkook—not a single person could possibly understand what he was going through and how much Jimin wanted to rip out his own heart and toss it into the trash, promptly setting it on fire so he would never have to go through this pain ever again.

But the pain Jimin felt in his chest every morning when he woke up, weighing his body down like a dark energy clung to him, whispering everyday into his ear—tormenting him. He was a sorry excuse for a man who couldn’t even come to terms with his own feelings.

Taehyung noticed Jimin turn stiflingly silent. He had never seen Jimin like this and it pained him to watch his best friend look so... depressed. He was never like this, but then again, Jimin had also never been in love with someone. Well, Jimin argued over whether or not he was in love, but Taehyung was perceptive enough to notice the change in Jimin’s spirit. It was as if he was an entirely new person from high school and even his early years in college. He was bubblier, smiled more and although Jimin was rarely home nowadays, Taehyung had a hunch that he was spending his time valuably.

Taehyung clapped his hands loudly, jolting Jimin out of his silence. “Alright! I have a surprise for you, brother! Tonight, I am taking you to a party. Nothing too serious, it’ll just be our close friends.” He proposed, grinning enthusiastically. Jimin quirked his rectangular eyes as a series of emotions passed through him.

“Tae... I don’t know if I’m ready to do something like that yet.” He replied honestly; Jimin’s voice was soft and quivered on edge. His hands were sewed tightly together and he was bent over, elbows resting on his exposed thighs.

“It’s just a suggestion. I won’t force you or anything, but I’m inviting you as your best friend. I can’t stand seeing you like this anymore,” Taehyung said sincerely. Jimin stole a glance at him as he stood from the bed and headed to the door. Taehyung stopped in the middle of the doorway, grasping the wooden frame and craned his neck back. “Feel better, okay?” He reassured and softly clicked the door shut behind him.

-

Later that night, Taehyung texted Jimin the address of the party with an attached message that wrote, “just in case you’re feeling up to it”. He was so grateful to have someone like Taehyung in his life and he knew for a fact that he wasn’t deserving of someone as caring as him. Taehyung put in so much effort to pull Jimin off his ass and here he still sat the morning of the party with dark bags that hung from his droopy eyes and greasy, messy hair. God, he was a hot mess.

“Aren’t you coming with?” Jungkook asked as he pushed open the door to Jimin’s room. He was dressed up in a black v-neck with an equally dark jacket thrown over and green, army pants. Jungkook was running his fingers through his permed hair to style it.

Jimin on the other hand, was sitting cross-legged in his swivel chair with headphones around his neck and was playing The Weeknd’s Wasted Times on full volume. At this point, it might’ve jumped up to his most played song. Jimin lowered the volume to hear Jungkook better.

“If you get ready now, you can still make it to the pre-game.” The younger boy taunted as he straightens his collar. Taehyung had left earlier in order to help prepare for the party considering he was on alcohol duty. Jimin’s lips formed a straight line. First it was Taehyung, now Jungkook needed to stick his nose into his business? How low had Jimin sunken?

“Be honest with me, Jungkook. Do you think it’s best for me to be going to a party right now?” He gestured to his face and down to his disorderly attire.

“Yes,” Jungkook replied bluntly. “I’m not like Taehyung either. I’m not going to baby you and let you do as you wish forever.”

“Excuse me?” Jimin sharpened his tone.

“You let an amazing woman slip through your fingers and now you’re facing the consequences—which you should be. You’ve respectfully atoned for your mistakes, but it’s time to turn yourself around. I know Y/N would hate seeing you like this.”

“Which is exactly why I have been avoiding her at all costs.”

“Is it? Or is it the other way around?” Jungkook snapped back. Jimin didn’t respond. “Either way, I can’t bear seeing you like this. Come out for a drive sometime.” Jungkook said and closed the door behind him. Jimin waited until he heard the front door open and shut, meaning that Jungkook had left.

Both Taehyung and Jungkook were right. Everything they said, be it comforting or not, was just to encourage Jimin to look past his faults, his insecurities, and that damned possessive mindset that was the quintessential factor towards his downfall. He knew he had to change, but was he capable of doing so? Was he able to pull himself out of this dark, negative pit that prevented him from seeing the light of a future that in his ideal world, promised you?

It was an entirely new experience for Jimin to be standing in front of the bathroom mirror, smoothing down his navy green long sleeve repetitively. It was as if his thin silver chain was never centered correctly and there was always a strand of hair that was out of place. Had he always been this nit-picky about his appearance?

Nonetheless, he had put in this much effort to look like this and he wasn’t the type of man to give up halfway. He had to go to to this party now. Jimin told himself that if the party was anything near terrible, he’d find the closest exit and leave while snatching a bottle of alcohol to drink in the security of his room walls. He also decided to take an Uber because he had no idea how much he would be drinking tonight. Jimin could feel his anxiety rise in his stomach as he approached the house. He had never been in this neighborhood before, but he could tell he was near because the cars along the sidewalk were increasing. He took a deep breath as the driver pulled to a halt.

“Alright man, this is it,” the driver said and gave Jimin a concerned look. “You good, man?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Thanks.” He replied back hastily and got out of the car. Once the Uber car drove off, Jimin was left to his own devices. He walked towards the house with heavy steps and it felt like eternity before Jimin reached the front door; he simply stared at the doorknob. Why was he so nervous? This might’ve been the hundredth party he’s attended so it shouldn’t even be a big deal. Were you feeling these nerves every time Jimin asked you to come to a party? And how you were always reluctant to go? God, it was like he was being reminded of how big of a dick he was every single day.

Jimin bundled up his nerves and pushed his way through the door; loud hip-hop music vibrated through Jimin’s skull. He scanned the foyer of the house and took in his new surroundings. The interior was definitely fancier than he had expected.

“Just our close friends, my ass...” Jimin muttered under his breath. Perhaps he had been too nervous to notice the posh neighborhood he had entered. Redwood laminated floors were laid all throughout the house and pristine white walls reached to the high ceiling. It was a bit overwhelming so Jimin maneuvered through the clusters of people to find a beer or some Hennessy. Anything would suffice.

Jimin stumbled into the kitchen area and managed to find a cold beer in the fridge. He cracked it open and gulped the bittersweet nectar until it was half empty. The taste lingered on his tongue and he smacked his lips. It was like being reminded of his partying days. Jimin roamed the house idly with a drink in his hand to keep himself occupied. He searched for Jungkook or Taehyung since they were not there to greet him at the door which meant they were deeper inside the house possibly already drunk off their asses. Jimin turned the corner and entered the living room, fashionably furnished with black leather couches and even a fireplace topped with family photos framed in elegant frames. Luckily, he saw Jungkook sitting in the center of one couch; Jimin perked up brightly.

“Jungko—“ he called out and stopped himself short, his voice caught in the middle of his throat. Sitting on the end of the couch rolling a glass of wine in her hand was you. Your hair was braided and there was a small, flowery pin tucked behind your ear. You wore a tight, black dress with gold accents along the waist and thin straps that rest over your small shoulders. You wore a long gold necklace with a small charm at the end that dipped into the crevice of your breasts. Your smooth legs were pointed downward as you sat on the edge of the couch; red bottom heels shaped your feet and added a sexy flare to your outfit. Jimin stood frozen in place—his eyes wider than they’ve ever been as the room slowed down. You were the center of his attention and suddenly, it felt at that moment, Jimin wasn’t surrounded by swarms of people. At that moment, it was like the first time he had ever laid eyes on you and fell in love all over again. You were so close—literally just a few feet away from him, yet it felt like you were worlds away.

Your bright laughter yanked Jimin from his thoughts and he frantically retreated behind a small group of people and then slowly hid behind a wall. Why he was hiding was entirely unknown to him. It wasn’t like this was your party or he was avoiding you. He simply thought… it would be best if you didn’t see him in his lowest state. But as Jimin closed his eyes, he could still very vividly make out the curvatures of your dress and your exposed collarbone, the light but beautiful makeup that matched so elegantly with your dress—

Jimin’s jaw slacked and he looked down at his crotch; his cock was semi-hard in his jeans and he could just make out the outline of his erection. Jimin’s hand flew to pull his shirt down and cover his erection and looked around for the nearest vacant bathroom. Unfortunately, the first floor of the house was so cluttered with people, Jimin fled upstairs in hopes of finding a bathroom up there. He climbed the stairs with long strides, shouldering through the people blocking the top of the stairs. Jimin saw a door that was slightly ajar and he ran for it, slamming the door open. There was a couple inside; the girl was perched on the counter while the man stood between her legs with his arms wrapped around her waist as they kissed. When Jimin entered, the two pulled away in shock.

“Get out.” He huffed with a crazed look in his eye. The couple was reluctant at first and gave each other a strange look. “Now.” He growled and the two then hurriedly gathered themselves and fled the bathroom which Jimin locked on their way out. He fell back against the door and rest his head against the wood while raising his shirt with trembling hands. He peered down at his erection that wasn’t going away. Jimin cursed under his breath and breathed heavily. He couldn’t walk out there with his dick half hard in his jeans, but there was no other way of getting rid of it besides taking a cold shower, which was entirely out of the question.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck me.” Jimin cursed at himself and gnawed on his lower lip as he daintily traced the outline of his cock through his jeans with the pads of his fingers. His breathe hitched as he moved his way to the tip, swirling small circles around it. Jimin suppressed a moan in his throat and allowed his eyes to close. He imagined you in your black dress again and how your ass looked in that tight, black satin. In his formulated fantasy, you were slowly sliding the dress up your thighs until he saw a black thong—god, your ass looked so plump he wanted to caress it and pinch it.

Jimin unbuttoned his jeans with nimble fingers and reached into his underwear to cup his balls that had made his underwear hot and sweaty. He fondled them in his hands before sliding his hand along his hard shaft, slowly tracing out the veins. Jimin pinched the swollen head of his cock and whimpered, lurching forward from the sudden pleasure that jolted through him. He inhaled deeply and took his cock from out of his underwear; a thin string of precum had dampened a spot in his clothes. He swiped his thumb through it and smeared the liquid over the red tip.

Jimin bit down hard on his lip to keep from making any noises as he started to massage his cock slowly with just the pressure of his fingers. He pulled the skin around his cock down to the base before sliding back up to the tip. The slow movements were just enough to pump more blood into his cock, but Jimin loved the teasing pleasure he was giving himself.

“A-Ahh… Y/N…” he moaned your name in a raspy voice; one hand slipping under his shirt to touch his abdomen. He started moving faster and wrapped his entire hand around his cock to give it more elongated motions. Jimin hissed when he enveloped the reddened head and pulled downward. His hips would jerk forward every time he reached the base and it wasn’t long until he was thrusting his hips into his own hand. His moans were harder to silence and came out as broken grunts of pleasure.

He nestled his head against the door and he could feel the back of his hair get tangled from the friction. He had spent so much time styling it to perfection and now he couldn’t care less as he was preoccupied stroking his dick in one hand while the other grazed the skin of his stomach. He recalled the night he last was able to see you, to caress your moonlit skin. It had been so long, but he could still remember the allure of your honey voice and how you beckoned for him. He remembered tracing his gentle hand over the blades of your shoulder and down the valley of your back; your gorgeous, plump breasts that he grasped in his hands while rolling your nipples between his fingers.

Jimin slid his fingers down his bare naval to cup his scrotum, giving his balls a firm squeeze. An involuntary loud grunt broke though his lips and he started stroking his cock in a faster pace; the prominent squelching sounds caused by his energetic movements filled Jimin’s head, evoking more memories of his after-dusk affairs that he shared with you. He imagined sliding his length over your tight, wet slit while staring into your starry eyes. Your lips—he couldn’t believe such a beautiful smile could utter such sinful words and oh, how he loved kissing them. He loved holding your face in his hand, brushing your hair behind your ears while your nose squished against his by how passionate you would get.

He wrapped his slippery hand around the end of his penis and snapped his hips wildly while gripping the base of his shaft. He pierced the skin of his bottom lip from his teeth but Jimin, in that moment of ecstasy, didn’t feel any pain. Only the blinding white pleasure that flashed behind his eyes. He called out your name once more in a trembling, needy breath before spurts of white, hot cum unleashed from his urethra. Jimin cupped his hand over the tip, but his energetic cum flew past his open fingers. His chest heaved and his whole body twitched from the aftermath, but he didn’t dare open his mouth to release the moans of pleasure.

Jimin slowly blinked his eyes open and adjusted to the light of the bathroom from the darkness behind his eyelids that he were squeezing so tightly shut. He glanced down at the mess he made—milky spunk coated his palms, darkened his jeans and he even managed to get it on the tiled bathroom floor.

“Shit!” He spat and pulled his drawers up with his clean hand before grabbing sheets of toilet paper and wiped his cum shamefully. After flushing the remnants in the toilet, Jimin washed his hands once, maybe three times simply because of the guilt that settled uncomfortably in his stomach. He had never, not once been able to cum by just thinking about someone. Masturbating to visual stimulation was easy and sure, everyone watched porn, but to be able to get hard by seeing you in a dress and cumming by fantasizing about holding you again was different. He felt wrong, despite how good it felt. Jimin splashed freezing cold water on his face to cleanse him of the sinful feeling and scrubbed the tiled floor so hard he got a cramp in his hand.

He left the bathroom with his head hung low so he wouldn’t be noticed and fled downstairs. He didn’t want to stay any longer because Jimin was sure his face was beet red. However, as soon as he reached the bottom of the staircase, he bumped into someone. He stumbled forward and muttered a “my bad” over his shoulder, but barely stayed to sincerely apologize. He set his eyes on the door and his feet led him outside.

-

[Reader’s POV]

You stood on the tips of your heels to look over the crowds’ head, eyes darting around frantically. You were shoved by the people around you because of your small stature, but you still hunted for that familiar head of jet black hair. Could it be him? Could it be the man that appeared in your thoughts like a runaway dream? Or perhaps you were just chasing the ghost of a man that you used to know.

Eventually, you gave up on trying to find Jimin as you lost track of all the black hair in the mass of people. You were sure—almost positive that it was Jimin. There was no mistaking the familiar tone. You listened to his velvety voice nearly everyday and you could pick him out blindfolded by his breathing.

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but there was no mistaking what you heard. You didn’t have much confidence despite the beautiful dress that you humbly modeled tonight, but you were confident that the voice belonged to Jimin.

You found your way back to the living room where a group of your friends were in the middle of a game of Mafia. You had already been killed off as a civilian so you went to refill your glass of wine. You rest your bum on the arm of the couch and sipped your drink while you waited for the game to finish. Jungkook, who had also been killed off in the beginning of the game because he was “too suspicious” (he was innocent by the way), slid into the seat next to you and looked up at you with beady eyes.

“How are you enjoying your night, Miss?” He asked. You gave a curt nod and sloshed your wine around in your glass.

“The night is still young and this is my fourth glass of wine, I’d say it’s going pretty well.” You replied. Jungkook laughed and rest his arm on your thigh. His large hand cupped your kneecap and he squeezed. Your eyes darted to his subtle hand that he laid on you.

“Then won’t you come home with me afterwards?” He said in a sultry voice. You tried not to visibly cringe at his words. Jungkook had been hitting on you on and off ever since you stopped talking to Jimin and you hated the fact that he was so quick to jump in front of the line. Jungkook was hot and you knew you should feel lucky that he was trying to impress you so hard, but you didn’t feel a single ounce of attraction towards Jungkook. And you weren’t petty enough to sleep with Jungkook to get revenge on Jimin. You couldn’t imagine going back into the same apartment where everything started.

You brushed his hand off and strained a soft smile. “I’m sorry, Jungkook, but you know I can’t do that.”

He pouted and if he had puppy dog ears, they would be wilted. “So it can’t be me? No matter how hard I try?”

“I’d be lying if I said I never gave it a thought, but I don’t think I’ll be looking for a relationship anytime soon.”

“Or at least, not with me, right?” He asked and you gave Jungkook a puzzled look. “Is it because of Jimin?”

You glared at the younger man. “Me being single has absolutely nothing to do with anyone and I would appreciate it if you didn’t associate my happiness with being in a relationship. I am perfectly fine by myself.” You snapped while clenching your wine glass in silent rage. Jungkook backed away with his hands up in defense.

“Alright, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d have a chance and shoot for it.” He apologized and you huffed.

“Well, as long as you understand,” you sipped your wine. “I don’t mean to be that girl, but how is he?”

“Jimin? Hah, that man hasn’t left his room in the longest time.” Jungkook scoffed while thinking back to earlier today when he tried to pry Jimin off his ass. “I invited him and I’m sure Taehyung did too, but who knows? That man hasn’t been willing to do anything with us lately.”

“Is that so?”

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but it must’ve been pretty bad,” Jungkook said and stopped himself short, giving you a side glance. “Sorry, too soon?”

“Not at all,” you shrugged and gulped down your glass of wine. You jumped off the arm of the couch and pulled down your dress over your ass. “I think I’m going to go.”

“So soon? But it’s so early.” Jungkook pouted as he watched you leave.

“Yes, well, if you must know I’ve never been one to stay long at parties.”

You hitched a ride with one of your friends that just so happened to be leaving at the same time. She dropped you off back home at your apartment and you took your time unwinding, stripping off your dress and throwing it on your chair to hang it up later. You undid your hair from its tight braid and let it fall loosely, the strong scent of shampoo emanated from your wavy locks. You wiped your makeup off and hopped into the shower because being in an extremely crowded area made you feel unnecessarily more sweatier than usual.

After showering, you were finally able to relax in bed, but even as you hugged your throw pillow and propped yourself up to finish the latest season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, your mind wandered elsewhere. What if Jimin had come to the party? What if you two had crossed paths without either of you knowing? And even if he did show, why would that matter to you?

How many times had you cried yourself to sleep in the past month? You forced yourself to stay awake thinking about what your life would be like if you hadn’t met Jimin. You’d probably end up alone—probably forever, still chasing a fantasy where you met the love of your life and lived happily ever after. You couldn’t sleep, because you knew that would never come true. Jimin didn’t know this, but he was able to give you hope. He made you believe you could chase your dreams and he stood there—right by your side, supporting you. How could you ever ask for anything more? How could you let such a supportive and caring man slip through your grasp so carelessly? If only you were a little more assertive or had a lot more faith in yourself, you could’ve told him how much he meant to you and how much you regretted hearing him leave. He was the only person that had ever shown you a single ounce of love, but of course you had to fuck it up. You fucked everything up. Maybe you were cashing in on the karma that you’ve complied over your lifetime. Maybe things will get better. Maybe in another life, you’d find another Jimin. Someone else that would make you feel as happy and wholesome as he did.

But in this life, you felt it was all over for you. You never had any luck in love and this was yet another example as to why you should never fall for someone again. It was a set up for disaster and you were bound to get hurt. So save the tears and hardships and the effort in making yourself feel pretty for someone else and bending your back for them to notice you. You were done with it.

Nonetheless, it was impossible to forget how gentle Jimin touched you—the first person to ever lay their hands on you and he held you like a fragile gem. You can still remember his touch and how it left a fiery trail on your skin. It’s almost impossible to get over the fact that the two of you, were at some point in time, more than friends. Behind those closed curtains and slow, rocking music, the two of you were lovers. You had to apologize in some way. Although you weren’t completely at fault for your separation, you felt ashamed for not being able to tell Jimin your true feelings and if you had... maybe none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have spent three months taking extra shifts at your job just to distract your mind from your problems.

At that moment, interrupting your television show was a knock at the door. It was soft and almost too quiet so you were unsure that you even heard it at all. You wondered if it was your roommate since she wasn’t home, but she had no reason to knock. She lived here, for goodness sake. So who else could it be?

You slowly stepped towards the door with light steps and stood on your toes to peer into the peephole. Your eyes widened upon seeing a head of black hair tucked underneath a grey hoodie. You planted your feet on the ground and pressed your fingertips against the door. What were you going to do? What was he doing here in front of your apartment? Were you ready to face him?

Another knock startled you and the vibrations on the door only made his presence that much more real. How long had it been since he was this close to you? A single piece of wood separated the two of you and if you opened it, you could see him. You could close the distance that had grown so, so far in the past three months.

“Y/N?” Jimin called out from behind the door. You gasped; the familiarity of your name rolling off his tongue reminded of how he whispered your name in your ear while your bodies were pressed together under the sheets. “Damn it, I knew she wasn’t home.” You heard him shift and panic overcame you.

“Wait!” You exclaimed through the door. “Don’t go!”

“Y/N? Is that you?” Jimin voice was louder now, as if he were standing right in front of you. You bumped your forehead against the door and curled your fingers inward.

“Yes, Jimin.”

Jimin’s breath stuttered. You were right behind that door—the courage he mustered hadn’t been in vain and he finally took the first step that would lead him to a better future, hopefully. “I—I’m sorry for showing up so suddenly. Do you have a moment? Can… we talk?”

Silence fell behind the door and he was afraid you had turned and left him speaking to himself. But your soft voice saved him.

“Sure. But the door stays closed.”

“That’s fine, I just wanted to get something off my chest.” Jimin inhaled deeply and ran his hand over the cold, hard wood. “I am… so sorry for everything I did and—and said that night. I was overreacting and scared that… you were going to be taken from me by some dick like Jungkook. But I realized that I was just being selfish and stupid and I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve told you earlier how much I care for you and how much you mean to me—I should’ve never let you cry and remembering that night keeps me up every night because I know everything was my fault and I just—I’m so… so sorry.” Jimin nestled his forehead against the door. His voice was so… weak. Like a cracked glass vase that would shatter any second. It trembled as if he were on the verge of tears.

You bit down on your quivering lip as a small whimper escaped. You had say it now, or your words were never going to see the light of day.

“I-I’m going to be honest with you, since we’re already on the subject.” You said through the door, your hand trembling in fright. “You’re quite immature for someone your age, Park Jimin. I can’t believe you could possibly think that I would do something as heartless as two-timing you, even though we weren’t explicit. How much faith do you have in me? I have never—ever considered any one else beside you!” You reached for the door handle with shaking hands and unlocked the door as you spoke the last words; the fluorescent lights in the hallway blinded you, but you opened it widely. Jimin stood there, frozen as he took in your words. When you opened the door, his wide eyes glistened with the sparkle of tears and darted to you. Your eyes were also lined with tears and you stood in the door way, breathing heavily.

“Hi.” He whispered.

“Hi.” You replied, one hand gripped the door handle tightly. Jimin’s eyes fell to his feet and he shifted from side to side.

“You know, you don’t have any reason to apologize. It was completely my fault.” He said in a serious tone. You shook your head and stepped towards him.

“No. I said some things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” You said as Jimin raised his head, a small smile formed over his thick lips.

“You’re too nice for your own good, you know?” His voice was softer than you’ve ever heard it and he spoke from his heart. He closed the gap and you were reminded of how broad Jimin was. He smelled of soap and the earthiness of rain and interestingly enough, pine. “So, can I take this as forgiveness?” He asked as traced your arm with his fingers. You softened your gaze and your lips stretched into a smile.

“Hmm, I think I need more than a few words.” You hummed. Jimin’s eyebrow rose playfully.

“Oh? Is that how it is?” He cradled your face in his hands and traced your soft cheeks with his thumbs. His eyes darted around your face and took in all of your features. The hair that fell over your eyes, the way your lashes fluttered against your cheeks and how they shaped your glittering eyes.

“I know the order is all messed up and this was the first thing that should’ve come out my mouth the minute I started feeling this way,” Jimin ran his thumb over your bitten bottom lip and the imprinted the velvety texture into his brain. He looked deep into your eyes; his hands felt hot and sweaty and his throat threatened to close on him, but he had to get the words out. “Will you go out with me, Y/N?” Jimin asked as his eyebrows furrowed adorably. You inhaled sharply and your nose stung from the urge to cry right then. You nodded eagerly and grabbed his face, pulling him in and kissing him with such passion you almost knocked him backwards. You tasted like vanilla lip balm and your lips were unbelievably soft. He pulled you closer—the taste of your mouth was so intoxicating and addictive, he wanted to taste your lips forever. You gripped Jimin’s grey hoodie and deepened the kiss; you parted Jimin’s mouth and lapped at his tongue. Your breathy moans dripped into Jimin’s mouth and he drowned your sound out.

“I was so—“ he kissed you.

“—afraid—” another kiss.

“Of losing you.” Jimin said in between smooches and moved forward until your back hit the wall. You gasped and Jimin shut your lips with his again. His fingers were tangled in your hair the more intimate the kiss became.

“Jimin, we’re outside.” You moaned the moment you felt his fingers slide underneath your shirt, his touch burned your bare skin. Jimin nibbled on your lip before his hands slithered around your waist. His face fell into the crook of your neck and he stayed in that position, nuzzling his nose into your sweet smelling skin. Your hands found their way to his back and you pulled him closer, breathing in his scent.

“Can we go inside?” He mumbled just centimeters away from your ear, sending shivers through your body. Your grip on his hoodie tightened and you nodded shyly. You slipped your hand into his and pulled him inside, slamming the door behind him. You gathered his hoodie in your hand, balling it together and yanked Jimin down and crashed your lips into his. Jimin slammed his back into the door and grunted into your mouth, but the pain was quickly forgotten as soon as your tongue slipped back into his mouth.

“Mm, fiesty.” He mumbled and you felt his hands slither down the sides of your hips. He moved slowly and you swore he was trying to feel each and every one of your ribs.  He grazed right over the curve of your ass and pressed his finger under your ass, cupping it with his digits. You kissed the side of his mouth and stood on your toes so your nose was hovering over his.

“Let me do everything tonight.”

Jimin’s eyes shot open. “But I—“

“No buts.” You trailed your hand over Jimin’s chest, ghosting your fingertips over his nipple. His chest jumped as he gasped, but he made no action to stop you. “I want all of you.” You said as you dropped to your knees, running your hands over his stomach. His abs weren’t as solid as you remembered and you swore you felt his sternum through his clothes. Had he been eating anything in the last time you’d seen him? It felt like he lost so much weight. Nonetheless, you slid his sweatpants just enough so his semi-hard dick slipped from the waistband. You peeked through your eyelashes at Jimin, his neck strained with a prominent vein raised through his skin and disappeared into his jawline.

You glided your hand over his cock, just grazing the surface with the lightest touch of your fingertips. Jimin sighed shakily and hunched over; his hands were balled into fists against the door.

“Y/N, please…” he moaned and closed his eyes. He traveled back in time to when he was in the bathroom of the party committing such a sinful act and was able to cum just by thinking about you. That was nothing compared to this. It was worlds better; stroking him with the lightest touch enough to drive him insane. But in little to no time, Jimin’s cock was fully erect from your teasing stimulation.

“Missed me much?” You licked a long strip up the underside of his cock. Jimin’s jaw fell.

“Too much, aah.” He sang. You cupped Jimin’s balls and while working your way to the tip, you lapped around his girth with your tongue and tasted the faint saltiness of his cock. You tickled his frenulum with the tip of your tongue and Jimin’s knees shuddered and his hand rose to possibly grab the back of your head, but fell when you enveloped his tip in your warm mouth.

“Fuh-fuck, your mouth is so hot.” He hissed. You hummed, satisfied with the compliment. You wrapped your tongue around his swollen head, the rough texture of the muscle was a new sensation for Jimin. His moans were getting much louder and you thought the neighbors would hear and come complain. Well, then you’d get your revenge for that night Jimin exposed you in front of his friend. That jerk.

You took him deeper down your mouth until he reached the back of your throat. Jimin legs felt weak from the pleasure and he could barely hold himself up without bending his knees. He huffed heavily, chest shaking as he took rapid breaths.

“Ahh, deeper.” He pleaded in a gruff voice. You glanced up and pulled back, focusing your tongue towards the tip. Jimin whimpered and his whines switched on something dark in you, desiring nothing more than to make him fall apart from your touch. “Christ, Y/N, just let me cum.”

Jimin’s thick cock fell from your mouth with a wet pop and you stroked him off with your hand. “Let you cum? But I’m just getting started.” You pouted, lips pursed against his pink head lathered in your saliva. Jimin groaned in frustration and his hips shuddered forward, unable to sustain your teasing.

“I can’t help it—ugh. Your lips are so soft,” he balled his hoodie in his fist as a guttural moan spouted from his parted lips. You wrapped your lips around his cock and sucked him deeper into your mouth. “And your... throat is so ungodly tight.”

You hummed playfully, his cock sliding down your throat. Jimin gasped and squeezed his eyes shut; his length throbbing against your tongue as you swirled it around his thickness. He looked as if he were about to cum any second so you bobbed your head up and down.

“F-Fu—oh god. Just like that, don’t stop. Don’t fucking stop.” He moaned as his eyes were closed in concentration to stay afloat or else his body would float away in pleasure.

Just then, breaking Jimin out of his state of bliss were a pair of footsteps that were approaching. Jimin’s hands flew to your head and attempted to push you off of his dick.

“Y/N, there’s someone—“ He stammered, but you ignored him, his desperation only made you move faster and sucked harder. “Fuck, fuck! Y/N, stop, I’m gonna—“ Jimin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before you bottomed out, your chin rest against his twitching balls and his cock shoved down your throat as you gulped down his hot cum. Jimin jerked you forward, pushing your face into his stomach as his entire body doubled over in pleasure. He didn’t utter a sound and you heard the footsteps stop in front of the apartment across the hall; the door opening and promptly shutting in a span of seconds. You waited obediently for Jimin’s dick to soften before slowly releasing your restrains around him, lips still wrapped tightly to collect all of your saliva and his cum. You leaned back and swallowed, wiping the sides of your mouth and chin for excess juices and sucked your fingers clean.

“Demon.” Jimin panted, hair matted to his sweaty forehead and his eyes darkened with lust.

“Am not.” You said with a pout. Jimin yanked you upward by your bicep and you let out a surprised yelp. Your body slammed against him and Jimin latched his lips onto your collar and sucked hard. You let out a high-pitched moan and melted under his touch. That is, until you felt his teeth sink in and pain quickly overcame the pleasure.

“Ow!” You winced. Jimin licked at his teeth indentations that surrounded the blotchy red mark like a crown. “Who’s the demon again?” You scrunch your nose, making Jimin laugh coldly.

“Oh, I am going to mess you up.” He purred and whipped you around so you were now pressed against the door. Jimin’s lips were on yours in an instant and his hands were just as quick to reach under your drenched panties. His fingers moved nimbly as he rubbed small circles over your clit. A shudder ran up your spine and you jerked forward to meet his hands. However, Jimin was just as devilish and petty as you were and pulled his fingers away as soon as he saw you were feeling the slightest pleasure. You whined.

“Don’t you dare cry, not after what you did to me.” His voice was husky against your ear. Jimin yanked your panties down and you finished it off by slipping your legs through and kicking them aside. He gripped your right thigh and raised it, exposing your sex and lined his cock against your entrance.

“Let me hear you say it.” He said, leaving your neck with wet kisses. He rubbed his cock, already hard and raring to go, against your slit and lining it with your juices. You felt him prodding against your hole and it took so much willpower not to lower yourself onto his cock and have him slide all the way in. Your mouth watered at the thought.

“Jimin, fuck me, please. I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I think I’m going to go crazy.” You pleaded desperately. Without another word of argument, Jimin slid his cock in. The stretch was so amazing and fulfilling your toes curled as he pushed deeper. His raw cock scraped your walls intimately and his rod radiated heat, sending your mind into a frenzy. Your walls were so tight and constructed around him so tightly, enveloping his entire length in a hot vice. He buried his face into your neck and you let out a loud and spirited moan.

“Oh god, please move. You feel so good.” You cried. Jimin’s fingers dug into your thigh and began thrusting fervently right away. Given your position, Jimin was able to reach deep inside of you with each thrust and slammed into your sweet spot. You moaned every time you felt him poke at the entrance of your uterus but his vigor and roughness was all the more sexy and visually captivating to watch as sweat dribbled down the side of his face while his hips moved wildly.

“So tight, ‘s like you’re sucking me in.” He grunted. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. Jimin hips moved faster and his hips slammed into you, the squelching sound of your pussy coincided and melded with your moans that drowned into Jimin’s mouth. It had been so long since you had his cock and it felt so good, so electrifyingly good you couldn’t keep hold of your mind as it floated off into a plane of bliss.

His hips snapped into you rapidly and your juices were smearing all over your inner thighs and Jimin’s hips, making your stick to Jimin’s skin. He licked along your neck, savoring the saltiness of your sweat and ground his hips into you, the soft hairs along his naval tickled your clit, but he was so deep inside of you your body was too frozen from the rapture of Jimin’s raw cock inside of you to care about anything else besides him.

You tangled your hands in Jimin’s hair and moaned into his mouth as you tightened around him. You weren’t able to give him a word of precaution before you body twitched and climaxed with his cock still thrusting inside of you; your eyes rolling back from the intensity of your orgasm. Jimin felt how your walls squeeze around him and he slowed his movements, allowing you to ride out your orgasm to the fullest. And even though he had just cum a while ago, the urge was back in no time and heat swirled in his lower region.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby.” He grunted, bucking his hips into you. You hovered over his lips.

“Cum for me. I want all of you.” You said and watched Jimin’s melt from your words. He lifted your other leg up and slammed deep into you, only able to put in a few more thrust before you felt his hot cum paint your walls. He kissed you while he drained himself in you and you gladly took all of him, holding him close to you. He slipped his cock out, slowly pulling away from your tight walls and as soon as it was out, a stream of white spunk dripped out of your hole and pooled at the floor. You slowly lowered your trembling legs to the ground and cupped your sex so the mess wouldn’t increase.

“Sorry, I got carried away.” He panted and watched you slide your finger through your slit, coating it in his cum which was oddly arousing.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” Your shoulders shook from your light-hearted laugh. Jimin managed a smile and picked his sweats from the ground and slipped into them.

“Should I go get...” he started and let his sentence trail off upon seeing you lick his cum off your fingers in a kittenish manner. You glanced at him, a hint of seduction behind your gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just never get tired of seeing you do that. It’s so hot.” He ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief. You lined your lips with your tongue when you were done. You picked your crumpled panties from off the ground, straightened them out and shimmied into them, adjusting the area around your butt.

“You should get going. My roommate will be home any minute and I still have to remove all the evidence of us having sex from here.” You smiled softly.

“Damn, I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“No?”

“Not at all. I was thinking about you and before I knew it, my feet brought me here.”

“You ran here?” You sounded uneasy. Jimin stepped forward so he was facing you, just inches away. His mouth twisted into a silly smile and he bonked the space between your eyebrows with his knuckle, knocking you back.

“It was a joke, silly.” His squeaky giggle lifted your soul and you couldn’t help but grin. Jimin stroked your hair, sweeping it away from your eyes. He looked at you with such endearment and a longing gaze as he held your cheek in his palm gently. His eyes fell to your lips, then back at your eyes. “Thank you for listening. I’ll let you sleep now.” He leaned in and pecked your lips.

“Goodnight, Jimin.”

“Sweet dreams, beautiful.”

-

Taehyung and Jungkook had woken up late the next day due to their partying the night before. They stumbled out of their rooms with droopy faces and aching headaches and huddled in the kitchen like zombies to fix themselves a quick breakfast. Jungkook poured himself a bowl of Frosted Flakes while Taehyung opted for a package of untoasted strawberry-flavored Pop-Tarts.

“You have fun last night?” Taehyung asked mid-bite in his groggy, morning voice. He was leaning back in one of the chairs in the kitchen while Jungkook stood with his feet spread. Jungkook was too busy munching on his cereal to answer him right away, but he gave a short nod; his brown fringe brushing over his tired eyes.

“Like always.” He said and smirked. Taehyung snorted and the two tapped fists. Just then, Jimin burst out of his room full dressed in a sky blue tee and ripped denim jeans. He sported a slightly darker blue baseball cap over his hair—which didn’t look like a tumbleweed for once—and was rummaging around the living room, throwing couch cushions and throw pillows over his shoulder. He whipped around to his two roommates.

“Have either of you seen my keys?” He panted. Jungkook shrugged absentmindedly, not even raising his eyes from his bowl of cereal.

“Have you checked your pockets?” Taehyung asked as Jimin patted his legs down to no luck. “Maybe they’re in your room?”

Jimin fled to his room and both Taehyung and Jungkook exchanged a confused look before Jimin walked back out of his room with his keys dangling from his fingers.

“Where were they? I bet they were in your pocket, huh?” Taehyung chortled and tossed a piece of Pop-Tart into the air and catching it in his mouth. Jimin slipped the keys into his pocket and fixed his hat over his head.

“No, it was in my jacket. I guess I must’ve left it there last night.” He replied. Jungkook glanced up from bowl of cereal and his gaze sharpened at Jimin.

“Last night? Where were you last night?”

Jimin raised his eyes and noticed Jungkook’s narrow eyes. “I… went to the party.”

Taehyung’s expression lit up. “You did?! I’m so proud of you, dude!” He exclaimed brightly. Jungkook poked the inside of his cheek and quirked an eyebrow.

“I see.” Jungkook said under his breath. A part of Jungkook was glad that Jimin had finally gotten out of the house after being holed up in his room for the longest time, but Jungkook couldn’t help but feel bitter thinking back to last night before you left. It felt like, no matter how hard he tried, he would never appear as attractive or heroic as Jimin did in your eyes. It wasn’t that Jungkook wasn’t glad that Jimin was so happy, but seeing his spirits so lifted was a clear sign that something happened last night. That fact alone ticked Jungkook off.

“That’s great man, but why didn’t I see you? Why didn’t you tell us?” Taehyung asked curiously.

“Well, I didn’t stay for a long time anyway. I just stopped by and… had a drink.” Jimin said and raised his arm to check his watch. “Shit, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you guys later!” Jimin waved to his roommates before heading out the front door and slamming it shut behind him.

“Look at him, something good must’ve happened. Do you think he and Y/N made up?” Taehyung sat back with a smile on his face. Jungkook finished off his bowl and set it in the sink.

“Seems like it, doesn’t it?”he muttered under his breath while brushing past Taehyung, a sour expression plastered on his face.

Jimin jumped into his car and wrestled with his keys to start his engine. After everything you said last night, the first Jimin wanted to do drive over to your apartment and see you again, to kiss you and hold you in his arms tighter so you wouldn’t slip through his careless fingers. He couldn’t forget the kiss last night and he touched his lips to remind himself of your kiss that sparked like fireworks. He could only think of what would happen if he hadn’t gone to see you last night. How long would it have taken him to muster up the courage and talk to you? How lucky had he been to have his words come across and resonate with you? He feared what would happen if things had taken a wrong turn. You could’ve cursed him out—chased him away from your door and never to be heard from again.

But now Jimin had to prove to himself to be a better man, someone that would cherish you and never make you feel the slightest insecure again. You told him over and over again how you had never been in love before and that it was all a faraway fantasy that happened in movies and broadway shows. True love wasn’t real in your opinion, but it was Jimin’s sole purpose now to prove that wrong. Although he wasn’t any different from you; he had never been in love nor did he believe he could fall for someone this hard, but in the short time that he knew you, you only showed him the better things in life. You changed him. You pulled him straight out of his boring and bare lifestyle, seeing the same views—the same people dancing hypnotically to the same music. It was like being surrounded by sheep that only knew what they’ve been exposed to. It began to feel so repetitive and Jimin woke up some days wondering if going to school was going to change anything because those days too felt as unchanging as the rest. That is, until you appeared and changed everything.

Would he be able to make you as happy as you made him?

-

You dragged your heavy feet all the way from the parking lot of your complex and were surprised to even make it to the elevator which gave you about a 20-second grace period where you could rest your feet. Although you loved your job and wouldn’t change it for anything else in the world (besides a six-figure paying job, but when would an opportunity like that come around?), but you were starting to wonder if these extra long shifts were worth the calluses that formed on your heels after being on your feet for hours on end. At this point, you were yearning for the end of the day where you could relax in a hot bath with a glass of wine to melt your stress away.

You swung the door to your apartment open and instantly slung your heels to the wall, sighing in relief. Your roommate, Ji Soo, poked her head from the kitchen at the sound of the door opening; her hair was done up in a messy bun and she wore an oversized men’s t-shirt.

“Someone’s had a hard day at work.” She pointed out, a small pint of cookie dough ice cream in her hand. She spooned some into her mouth as used her eyes to gesture to the table. “Someone also has a secret admirer.” She giggled.

You looked to the coffee table and was slowly captivated by the crown of ruby foliage that decorated your table, casting a red glow around the room. You walked to the table with hypnotized steps and picked up the heavy bouquet, turning it side to side to capture more of the roses’ essence.

“Who…” you began, your vocabulary was empty upon casting your eyes on the flowers. Your hand touched something on the back of the bouquet and you pulled it out, revealing a piece of card stock lined with gold foil. On the back was engraved in the same gold foil:

I never stop thinking about you

The fancy, gold embroidery didn’t take away from the message that was written and how deeply it struck you. You traced over each word with your finger and soon a goofy, love-struck smile curled at the corners of your lips.

“Who is it from?” Ji Soo asked and rest her bottom on the corner of the kitchen table. You pressed your lips together to contain your smile.

“My secret admirer.” You said slyly.

You kept the bouquet of roses on your desk where the light from the moon cast a white glow on the petals. You could stare at them forever and never get tired of them. You knew they would eventually wither and dry into brittle pieces, but until then you kept them on display.

[11:39 PM] you: the flowers are beautiful [11:39 PM] you: thank you

[11:40 PM] Jimin: I have no idea what you’re talking about

For a second, you thought your assumptions about your secret admirer were wrong, until Jimin sent another text.

[11:40 PM] Jimin: kidding [11:40 PM] Jimin: I know you love roses

[11:41 PM] you: you seem to know a lot about me

[11:41 PM] Jimin: you aren’t exactly the most discreet [11:41 PM] Jimin: but thats not exactly a bad thing [11:42 PM] Jimin: I can learn a lot from you

Was Jimin finally willing to open up about himself? The one thing you wanted the most was to know the real Jimin and maybe, just maybe it was possible.

[11:43 PM] you: I don’t have anything to teach you

[11:44 PM] Jimin: or so you think [11:44 PM] Jimin: when can I see you again

You blushed thinking to your intense makeup session with Jimin right outside of your door and you too couldn’t wait to kiss him again. You imagined his intense kisses that he left on your body and how tenderly he touched you, like a fragile doll that he was afraid of breaking again. It was a shame that he had to leave during the night because it wouldn’t be so bad to wake up next to him.

[11:45 PM] you: this weekend [11:45 PM] you: lets have dinner

You wanted to see him as soon as possible and what could be better than a dinner date? Yeah, sure, it was a cliche among all cliches, but this was what you wanted to do. You were the ruler of your own world and from now on, you were going to play your cards right.

[11:46 PM] Jimin: a dinner huh? [11:46 PM] Jimin: sounds great [11:46 PM] Jimin: will you let me plan this one out? I want to show you a good time

[11:47 PM] you: well if you insist then I won’t argue

[11:47 PM] Jimin: then its a date

A date. Finally, a real fucking date. One with someone you actually cared for and harbored true feelings for. How different would it be? How were you supposed to act now that you were in a relationship and how long could you maintain it before your karma got the worst of you and snatched your happiness from you right when you got it.

[11:50 PM] Jimin: I’ll let you sleep princess [11:50 PM] Jimin: I love you

You flung your phone across the room and it smacked against the wall. You flipped over on your bed, grabbbing your pillow and stuffed your face in it and screamed. Your legs flailed around the bed and kicked up your blanket, messing up the sheets as well. You only stopped when your throat felt like it had been abused with sandpaper and you raised your head to breathe. The first time. It was the first time you had heard those words said to you in a romantic expression and Jimin had yet again taken one of your firsts from you.

You crawled off the bed and grabbed your phone, replying with ‘I love you too, goodnight’ before jumping back on your bed and rolling around, holding your phone to your chest. This was all so new to you; these tingling feelings that burst in your chest like firecrackers and made you feel light-headed with bliss. Was your heart able to handle Jimin if he was going to say such things so spontaneously?

It wasn’t hard for Jimin to come up with his date plans. He spent the last three months thinking about stuff like this and it was only a matter of choosing which one he wanted to do first. There were many to choose from: an aquarium date, a stroll in the park, or maybe he’d take you the carnival and drag you on the Mega Drop like he’d been wanting for the longest time. There were so many possibilities and he was positive he’d get to all of them, but there was only one place that he had in mind.

Jimin sent you flowers every day for the entire week leading up to your first date with him and each bouquet had its own message. You collected the cards and kept them safe in your drawer, with a red ribbon tied around the growing stack of gold embellished cards. Every night you would pull them out and read them over to yourself like a young maiden in love because technically that’s what you were. Although, as the number of flowers increased, the places to display them decreased drastically and soon your room had turned into a greenhouse of assorted flowers, blending to recreate a fresh, Spring-like scent through the apartment.

Finally, the awaited day had come. Jimin didn’t speak a word of his plans or where he was taking you. He simply told you to be ready at eight, so by law, you had to begin getting ready four hours ahead of time. You had already chosen your outfit, a pale pink summer dress that hugged your waist snuggly with a ribbon tied at the back. You accessorized with a long gold necklace that hung low as well as a matching bracelet. The shoes were perhaps the hardest to pick out as you had to decide between a neutral beige or a darker pink, both of which looked amazing with your outfit. You consulted Ji Soo and she said, and you quoted, that “the beige is sexy.” Going from that, of course you had to choose the beige.

You painted your face beautifully with makeup and even topped off your look with lip gloss, which Ji Soo complimented as well. You sat at the edge of your bed half an hour before Jimin was supposed to come pick you up and Ji Soo poked her head in to check on you.

“You look like a doll, I still can’t get over how cute you look!” She squealed and rest her cheek against door frame, admiring the way you sat on the bed in such a delicate manner with your knees poised.

“I feel like my face is going to melt off. I’ll probably come back looking like a hot mess.” You laughed and raised a compact mirror to fix your hair. Ji Soo eyes softened, like a mother sending her daughter off to a dance. You were her roommate for the majority of college and she couldn’t ask for a more lovely friend. Despite not being in a relationship and having no experience in that field whatsoever, you gave her the best love advice. And now she couldn’t be more proud to see you beaming and radiation happiness.

“I hope you have fun tonight.” Ji Soo winked before receding back to her room and you waited for Jimin’s call.

Meanwhile, Jimin had also spent his morning and for fact of the matter, the entire week preparing tonight’s event. More specifically, he stayed up late last night and made a complete mess in the kitchen. Everything had to be perfect and he wouldn’t accept anything less. Jimin had about seven outfits planned out in his head, but as soon as he tried them on none of them felt right. He switched up the outfits, mixing and matching garments together until he finally decided on a large black and white plaid flannel. He tucked the front flaps into his black jeans with a leather belt holding them in place. He fled his apartment in a flash and hopped into his car. Jimin took one glance at the backseat to double check if everything was in place, and with that assurance, he was on his way to see you, singing along and drumming his hands on the steering wheel to 88rising’s Peach Jam.

It happened in an instant. A streak of bright white light blinded Jimin and he ducked his head, slamming his foot on the breaks. His body lurched forward from the force, his seatbelt snapped on his chest and the next thing he knew, the windows had crashed and shattered around him while his body was being hurled around wildly in his seat. Shards of glass pierced his skin and Jimin must’ve slammed his head against the steering wheel and dashboard a dozen times before everything went still. His eyes struggled to stay open and he could hear the faint cars from the Main street driving by. Jimin fought to stay conscious, but his vision was wavering, blurring the starts in the sky and making them appear as bright city lights. His conscious was fleeting and Jimin shut his eyes, eventually gave into the serene monotonous ring in the back of his mind.

And you waited.

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[cerastes]

mind-blaze: Enjoy the fish! I have a game tonight.

YOU BETTER FUCKING ENJOY THE GAME MY GOOD BITCH

yariyumi: im at a game jam absolutely doing that hockey making games n shit

Hey fuck off, I got together with a pal today to gamedev myself, we just spiraled out of control because we’re both acolytes of the fermented ambrosia. Make all the games I didn’t make today or I will vape all over a ladder so you miss it and meteor strike the fucking floor.

xenodile: I am recovering from crippling gastric illness, so much better than I was 2 days ago!

yeah hey I hope you stopped throwing up so fucking much dude, that level ten sucks, so I hope it’s a proper Feeling Better and not a temporary one