#DONT SHAME HIM PHIL

[royalarchivist]

Snifferish: The range of like, Christmas sweaters to like, skimpy Santa in these skins, I’m -- look at Scar’s skin!

Phil: [silently losing it] That doesn't leave much to the imagination king.

[phannieconfession]

i dont care about a hard launch i just NEED them once or twice to post a coupley pic. not even something as direct as a kiss just arms around one another head leaning on shoulder smiling at the camera. like half of their pics dan is leaning into him (cock shame ha ha) and it just looks like phil is supposed to have his arm around him

..😔

[keirawantstocry]

poly morning crew but tubbo is insecure about his height and fitpac are trying to help him be less insecure about it :)

this got so incredibly off track i literally see one word and run with things swear down

hiii, um I kinda took this and ran with it? I will upfront say I am not a trans man but i am trans so i drew on my own personal experience to write this and dont mean to write anything… incorrect or anything of the sort <3 and if anyone reads this and i have accidently ending up portraying something incorrectly pls tell me immediately so i can rewrite

Most days Tubbo was fine with being trans. It was just part of who he was, like his brown hair or any of his birthmarks. Other days it bugged him. How much shorter he was compared to some of the other guys. How soft his body was. But he was fine. He wouldn't fucking talk to somebody about it, wasn't that big of a deal anyway. Nobody even noticed when he had his off days, Phil was focused on a thousand other things and the annoying voice of his husband in his head just prattled on and on about dumb shit before disappearing. 

He was working out when it hit him. A wave of dysphoria so strong he physically bent over and closed his eyes. Mentally he swore. Horrible timing. Pac was supposed to be over in less than à few minutes and he could barely stand without seeing himself and feeling sick. 

Speak of the devil, he thought as the doorbell rang and Pac's animated voice slid it's way through the house. “Tubboooo.” 

Tubbo groaned but he had no choice. Laying down the weights he had been using, he headed over to the door to let Pac inside. 

“Hey, Pac.” The man looked fucking gorgeous as per usual. It would sour Tubbo's mood if he wasn't so attracted to him. His infectious smile spread to Tubbo's face as they embraced. “It's good to see you, man.” 

It was easy at first, hiding the nasty self hatred boiling in his gut. Unfortunately Pac was incredibly more attuned to his feelings then either Phil or Tommy. “What's wrong?” he asked as they sat down on the couch together. 

“Nothing,” Tubbo blustered, avoiding his eyes. 

“Tubbo,” he said in an uncharacteristic stern voice. It softened again as he gently took Tubbo's face in his hands and turned his head to look at him. “What's wrong, meu bem?” 

With a long sigh, Tubbo accepted his fate. “I just feel like shit about myself today.” 

Pac's head tilted in curiosity. “Why?” 

“Honestly, I'm not sure what triggered it.” 

“But what do you feel shit about?” Pac took a second to look around, trying to find his words, his warm hands still against his cheeks. “What about yourself?” 

Tubbo laughed lightly, trying to shove down the churning in his stomach. “My body. I just wish… I wish I was born a guy.” Bile rose in his throat as he tried to choke down the shame. He hated being vulnerable especially with someone that he cared so much about. He met his eyes trying to gauge his reaction. The expression he was met with was one of pure confusion.

“I'm sorry I don't understand.” 

“I'm trans," he said as bluntly as he could.

Pac just blinked at him slowly as if trying to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth. “That doesn't make you any less of a man.” 

“Easy for you to say that,” Tubbo scoffed. 

Unexpectedly Pac laughed as if it was one of the funniest things he had heard all day. “You do know I'm trans right?” 

Tubbo stared at him as he felt his brain short circuit. “What? No, I didn't fucking know that what the fuck.” Surprised laughter was bubbling its way out of his chest before he could stop it. The shame was dissipating at the speed of light because here was one of the prettiest, most attractive men he’d ever known and he was just like him. 

He laughed again before bringing his hands up to grab Pac’s face and kiss him firmly on the lips. Pac giggled into his mouth before kissing him back, sliding his hands into Tubbo’s hair. The kisses were sloppy, more shared laughter and wet open mouths than anything. But it felt so good, so right. 

They finally stopped kissing and Tubbo realized that somehow they had ended up laying back on top of each other on the couch. “How did I not know you were trans?” he said, still in awe. 

Pac laughed, light and airy. “You hate me and don’t pay attention to me.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Then for good measure he kissed him again to truly shut him up. Warmth had replaced the feeling in his gut and was now spreading through his entire body. For the first time he felt good about it; not bad, not neutral but good.

[bedrockbones]

Dark SBI murder au but Tommy's both the murder and the little shit

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it ///not accepting

tommys first kill had been an accident. it was a school bully who had pushed and pushed and pushed. they boy had seen tommy as an easy target. the foster kid. the transfer. the one with no friends and no allies. months of torment all came to a head when the boy had chased tommy halfway home after school until tommy decided...why is he running? he...doesnt really remember the fight. but he comes back to himself with a rock in his hand, the edge of it wet with blood and a still warm body by his feet he expects, as he hides the body, for the guilt or terror or shame to set in. it never does. all tommy feels is relieved. even- he feels good even. tommy realizes he doesnt have to be prey anymore. he could be the predator

he gets a new placement a few months later (no one ever finds the body. a nearby construction site with still drying cement takes care of that problem) and he starts experimenting. the thing is- all the cool murderers have a style. theyve got themes and-and calling cards and stuff. but tommy doesnt have any of that. is he supposed to? but nothing really calls to him and he doesnt want to force a style! thatd be even worse than not having one he should-experiment. yeah. study up on the big names. Azrael, Soot, and Protesilaus. Those guys are the best. theyve even got the cool killer names! he studies their kills. their MOs. and once hes ready, he tries them out. the first few are sloppy so he hides the bodies. he cant let people see that-those are embarrassing!- but once he has them down, he displays them in similar fashions when he sees on the news theories of the return of "The Angel" tommy almost cheers. people think he's Azrael! that must mean he did a good job!

when phil sees one of “his” kills on the news, he does a double take. because he remembers his kills. he studies his victims and he most assuredly did not kill this man but everyone seems to think he did and yes, listening to the details, seeing the set up and the victim choice, if phil were anyone else he could see how this copycat would be misconstrued as the real thing. but phil isnt anyone else and he would like to know who the hell is copying his kills? were they taunting him? some arrogant upstart trying to encroach on his territory?  he doesnt even know why hes so annoyed. he’s not wilbur. he doesnt care about fame. that’s not why he does this (though he loves his son and understands his motives. its a tough world out there, trying to make your mark on it is unforgiving.) still. the fact that people dont realize its a copycat and instead think this kill was the real deal...phils interest is peaked

technoblade knows phil is hunting the newbie. hes been on him for weeks now and still no sign of the copycat. it was funny at first-watching phil scramble after some rookie killer and somehow not catching him- but then the little brat started copying techno as well. and thats when all bets were off.

when wilbur heard about this, he had laughed at first. only to grow more offended as time goes on that whoever this killer is isnt copying his MO. does this asshole thing wilbur isnt on the same level as his father and techno? oh he’ll show that little brat the truth then.

tommy knows he’s being hunted and it is the best. azrael thinks hes enough of a problem to deserve being hunted? thats so cool! tommy needs to make this worth the man’s while! 

[hirik0]

Like a virgin part 3

part 1 | part 2

Perv Price/ inexperienced Graves

NSFW

Today is lesson number 10, their last lesson. Graves hinted he wants more, but Price pushed it of to lesson number 10. It makes feel Graves nervous and afraid that Price dont want to continue their agreement. Pretty sure its not because he don't have to teach him more. He slamms his fist against the tiles of his shower. Didn't Price enjoys this? "Fuck!", Graves curses. His original goal with the shower was to get of before he drives to Price appartment, so he can have Price taking him apart for longer. He also knows that Price dont like it when he does this even if he never says so. He really needs it today, when they reached the 'final' lesson. He's sure he will not last if he dont take the edge of first. The last 3 times he has fallen apart on Price fingers untouched, moaning like a pornstar, begging for more. And the praise that Price gives him all the time? Addicting. He turns the shower of, frustrated that his plan didn't worked.

He drys himself looking at his phone with a text from Price. His heart drops is Price cancelling?

>> Didn't I told you to not look it up on porn sites <<

How, how does Price knows he looked it up. His smartphone vibrates and a picture is apearing in their conversation. On it is his laptop with a open porn hub tab, from the last video he watched before going to bed yesterday. His bad habit of closing the laptop and not turn it of is bitting him in the ass now.

>> Should close your browser and not just close your damm laptop, Phil.<<

He rembers telling Price he can use his laptop earlier today, he just charged it and didn't need it for work. He's blushing in embarrassment oh god he forgot to close the browser and this is the first thing Price saw when he looked in.

>> What I watch is non of your buisness John<<

>>so you looked up anal by coincident?<<

>>we talk about this when you're at my place<<

>>See you in an hour<<

Graves let's out a breath he didn't now he held, atleast Price didn't cancel. Time to get dressed, he needed 20 minutes to choose a out fit. He ended up with a thight pair of dark red boxers, a blue jeans that shows off his ass and a green t-shirt. Maybe he's a bit over dressed, but he wants to put a bit of effort in what is maybe the last time before their agreement ends.

Price is pacing up and down his livingroom. Their little deal needs to end today. He dont want it to end and Graves told him twice he wants 10 more lessons, but he can't. What Graves need is someone else to introduce to BDSM, not him. Not someone that is even to much for expiriencend Submissive. God, Phil would look so good tied up, he wants to edge him till he's sobbing and begging, spank him so bad. The moment Graves is getting through his religious shame and understands their is nothing bad about enjoying sex, he will be a pushy little sub. Graves is used to be a leader, in control and stubborn. Not that he dont enjoy the version of Graves he has now, the perfect littel student, following orders so good, taking what he's get, but he wants, no he needs to see a confident Graves in bed. It already shown that Graves likely is a brat when he looked up anal sex on porn hub or when he mastubates before there lessons to last longer. And what was in the search bar, shows that Graves knows exactly what he wants. The dick of the men in the video were even thicker than his. All the videos that Graves watched had men with big cocks, he don't want to assume but it looks like Graves is a sice kink. Price had already planned what to do today, but with this discovery he changed plans up a bit. He is interuped from his thought process by a knocking at the door. Graves walks straight in when the door is open. Price eyes glued to his ass while he closes the door. Little monster dressed up showing of his ass and god Price cant holt back the urge to slap this ass anymore. He walks up to Graves and the smack is loud in the silent appartment. Graves frezzes, feeling shivers running down his spin before he looks at Price scandalised. Price smirks satisfied at him with hungry eyes. "John", Graves complains leaning against the couch to bring some space in between them. "And liked a position in the videos?", Price ask sounding like he's talking about the weather. "I... are you sure it will fit", Graves stammers nervously, while Price is slowly approaching him. "Thats, why I didn't want you to look it up", Price explains annoyed pressing himself against Graves. "Was curious", Graves defence himself. "Did you at least enjoyed your littel research?" The question is directly wispered in Graves ear, causing goosebumps and a dark red blush. "No", Graves wispers the answer but it sounds loud in the silent room. Price tzks at this before rauning: "What a waste." Graves pushes Price away from him his face burning. "Just wanted to get a understanding how the position work", Graves pouts, already being half hard.

"What brings me back to my first question found a postion you liked?" Price has a dirty grin on the face. "No, was to distracted to wunder how this is going to fit", Graves admits embarrassed. "I think you liked the last one didn't even care to close the tab. That's what you want, getting fucked on a tabel so hard you slide over it?", Price asks love seeing the shiver from Graves. "I.. ", the rest of the sentence is ending in incoherent mumbling. "Tell me", Price encourages. "Want a bed", Graves repeats looking at the floor afraid he crossed a line. Price steps closer again lifting his head smiling at the younger man. "Of course " Price needs to supress the smirk, that's working just as planed. He leads Graves to the bed room. He lets Graves look around a bit. It only empty in the room, the big bed in the middel, with dark sheets, dark floors, a dresser and a night tabel, nothing showing what Price has planed for today besides a lube empty bottel. "Busy, with yourself Captain?", Graves mogs Price a bit. "Wouldn't you like to know", Price says pressing himself against Graves back, wispering directly I Graves ear. "Yes, tell me", Graves demands, pressing more into Price. "It's from our last meeting, squeezed every last bit out of it, forgot to throw it away", Price answers smug, loving how Graves is rubbing his ass against his crotch. A gasp is leaving Graves he feels how Price dick is getting hard. "Saw you watched some really rough thinks, you want that?, Price asks while pushing Graves towards the bed. "No, want gentle." Graves answers before stripping out of his shirt. "Want me to keep it gentle the whole time?", Price says to establish the boundaries. "Not sure." "Want to use a system to make sure I don't get to rough?" "Yes, please." "Red is stop, yellow I need a break and green keep going", Price explains before opening Graves belt and pulling it of the loops. "Okey." "Repeat it Phillip", Price orders. "Red means stop, yellow I need a break and green is keep going." Graves rolls his eyes at this, what is he 6. "Good boy", wispering in his ear before he pushes Graves on the bed.

Graves try to push himself up, but Price is holding him down. "John?" Price ignores it stripping out of his hoodie, before running his hands over Graves ass, trying to supress the urge to spank him. He carefully puts his hand against Graves throat, just holding him. "Price?", Graves asks again unsure what is going to happen. "Mhm?" Price squeezing a bit before he removes the hand, to put them on Graves hip. Graves looks over his shoulder seeing Price lost in thought, it makes him nervous, its clear that Price is struggling with something. Price fights his filthy desires, seeing Graves like this on his bed, is doing something to him. God, he wants to do something more then a gentle fuck so badly, want Graves squirming under him, moan with out shame, edge him so long till Phil is crying and begging. But non of this will happen, its not what they agree on. A small voice in his head wispers he just said to start gentle. He pushes this voice away trying to focus on the task at hand. Graves turns around now looking directly in Price hungry eyes. Price still seems to think about something so he takes matters in his own hand. He opens his fly and pushing his jeans down, that seems to pull Price out if his stupor. "Impatient aren't we", Price huffs removing the jeans completely. "You say that like you didn't looked at me as i was a painting and didn't do anything to get this moving forward", Graves retorts, kicking the pants of his legs and the bed. Price raises a eyebrow at this before pulling out a full bottel of lube out of a nightstand throwing it on the bed and the two more things Graves didn't get a good look on. Price kneels infront of the bed and Graves spreading his legs as far as he can. Graves is gasping at this looking away. "Look a me", Price orders before he mouths over Gravs still cloths dick. Graves face blushes starting to moan, his dick getting fully hard in no time. "Ah Johnnn~", Graves moans struggling to keep his legs open. Price puts Graves knees on his shoulders. He stops when he feels Graves dick twitch, a tell tale of Graves being close. "Already that close Phil?", Price ask pleased while removing the boxers, looks like the littel monster haden had time to get of before coming here. Graves don't answers he dont has to Price knows all this tells by now. "That's okey, I can edge you", Price states and Graves frowns confused. He heard that word before, he's not sure what it means, but several Shadows sweared it was amazing, from the few parts of conversation he picked up. "Remeber the colours?", Price asks. "Red stop, yellow break, green continue", Graves recollects, rolling his eyes. "Good", Price praises before he takes Graves dick in his mouth. Graves grabbs some of Price hair before he falls back. Price is using a fast pace, with the goal to get Graves close fast. Paying close attention to Graves reactions. Graves is way to focused on the pleasure he's feeling to prevent Price from pulling of. He bucks in to Price wet mouth about to come when he's hit by cold air. He pushes himself up looking angry at Price for stopping.

"Wh..", Graves is about to complain when he realises what edging means. To bring somebody close to an orgasm and stop before they can go over the edge. What the fuck, why would people do this. "Why?", Graves ask iritated, pre cum runing down his dick Price smiles at him before he answers. "Because I can." Graves shows him the mittens finger, getting a laught out of Price before he starts kissing Graves inner thights getting closer and closer to Graves dick again. Just to ignore it and giving the other leg his full attention. "Price", Graves complains not liking this at all. Price just bits him making Graves pull him of. They look at each other and Price loves how Graves starts to demand what he wants. Graves pulls him to his dick, but Price is simply licking over the tip. "John", Graves voice his displeasure. Instead of taking him in his mouth again Price is closing his hand around Graves dick. When ever pre cum is leaking out of Graves dick Price licks it of starting to use his other hand to play with Graves balls. "Yeah", Graves moans slowly getting pulled to the edge again. When hes close he starts to fuck in Price fist who is pressing a few fingers at the rod of his dick. "No, don't stop", Graves complains in the room. Price stands up his knees hurting to much to continue on the floor. He pushes Graves a bit further up the bed. "Turn around", Price orders and they just stare at each other. "Turn around", Price repeats his order, a bit more impatient. Graves still dont move. "What you do if I don't?", Graves asks and Price smiles devilish at this. Internally Price lost to his urges, this is the last time he will do this with Graves so why not giving in to the more tamer fantasies. "You get punished", Price answers loving how Graves is challenging him.

Graves swallos at this unsure what Price means with that, so he turns. Price grabs the lube, and generous purs some of it on Graves tail bone. "Price", Graves complains at the cold feeling looking over his shoulder angry, hating the feeling of lube on his skin and the cold. Price slaps his ass again getting a moan and a nicely blushing Graves. "You like this don't you?", Price ask rhetorical before pushing one of his lube covered finger in. Gravs looks down at the bed, mortifyed by like this. "Phil, there are a lot of people that like a smac on the ass doing sex", Price says, knowing that Graves gets very embarrassed when he learns some new things about himself. "Really?", Graves ask in between low moans. "Yes, had a lot in my bed over the years", Price reassures Graves, pushing a second finger in. Price starts to attack his prostate and Graves don't think he will survive a third edging. The orgasm is aproaching him really fast. "Price", he moans torn between wanting to cum and afraid Price stops again. Price of course knows that Graves is close again sees his leg shaking, hearing the heavy panting and sees how Graves is clenching the the sheets. Price pulls his finger out to lube them up again on purpose when Graves is on the edge again. "No, please don't stop", Graves begs despreate, he can't do this any longer. "Just needed more lube", Price says casual before continuing what he did before, smiling about the desperarion in the others voice. Graves reaches with one of his hands down his body getting the littel bit of more stimulation he needs to get of with out Price moving his fingers. "Hands in the front Phil", Price warns, loving it how Graves is getting bratty with him. "No, why should I?", Graves asks not caring, just wanting to get of.

Price leans over him grabing something of the bed. Graves hears a tingling sound of metal against metal. Price drops something in front of him. A pair of handcuffs, Graves looks over his shoulder. "You wouldn't." Price chuckels at this. "Don't see why you complain, saw your search history. You clearly like to watch it.", Price says grinning. "You had no buisness to look trough that", Graves says blushing. "You made it my buisness, when you forgot to close your browser", Price simply states, starting to move his fingers again. Pressing his fingers in Graves prostate when ever the other trys to speak up. "John, I.. I can't you believe you looked through all of it", Graves pants out mortifyed his blush going his necks to his shoulders and chest. "Nothing I haven't sees or tryed before. Knew that you're a dirty littel slut under all this good church boy facade", John says smug doppeling his effort to make Graves finally cum. "I'm.. not a slut", Graves protest inbetween moans. "You are my littel slut, Phil, and I like my sluts as dirty as possible", Price wispers possessive in his ear pushing Graves nearly over the edge. Fuck, he want to be Price slut, so badly. "Hands in front", Price repeats waiting what he thinks is a generous amount if time for Graves to move his hand atleast a bit away from his dick. Maybe 40 seconds is a bit to short for Graves to react but well, Price dont gives a fuck about that, wanting to handcuff Graves to badly. "Hands in front, Phil", he orders, seeing the shiver that's running down Graves spine. Graves does as he's told putting his arms in front of his head. Putting handcuffs with one hand is inconvenient, but Graves helps him. "Not that thight?", Price asks to check in. "No", Graves confirms, being mesmerized by his handcuffed hands. "Good", Price says pushing in a third finger into Graves, he probably will need 4 to streach Graves for his dick. Graves trys to move his ass more against Price fingers who is avoiding his prostate in order to prepare him. "More", Graves says inpatient hissing when Price is putting a forth finger in. "Why dont you just put in your while hand?", Graves asks sarcastic. "Don't think I have the patience to fist you", Price says before massaging Graves prostate to shut him up. Graves is a mess under him, moaning, cursing, shivering and so close. "Johnnn ahh want.. want to come on your cock, please, please", Graves beggs so beautifully. "Oh you will, later", Price promisses using the rest of the lube on Graves to jerk him of. Graves moans so loud when his orgasem explodes. His vision whites out, tears and droll are running down his face. Price makes sure to let this orgasm last as long as possible, robes of cum landing on the dark sheets and his hand. "Priicee", Graves whines in a high pitch, not being able to take the overstimulation any longer. Price takes his hands of completely, letting Graves come down. He stands up from the bed, pushing down his pants and boxers in one stiff motion, his own dick is leaking and he finally wants to push it in. Finally winning the price, finally destroying Graves ass till Graves can't even talk anymore. He will destroy this man under him and this will be his best orgasem in a long time. Oh, he will fuck the other man till he himself can't take it anymore. It will be amazing for both of them and he hopes that Graves will cum till the orgasm turn try, till he crys, till he begs Price to cover him in his cum, till he begs for Price to have mercy, that he can't take it anymore, to fill him up, fuck maybe Graves will beg to be breed. He takes the other item he throw.on the bed, a cock ring. Oh, he will be able to fuck Graves so long with the help of this littel piece of silicone.

[redraven393]

Catching Up wit Phil's QSMP VOD

1st JULY lets GOOOO

OKAY let's GET STARTED

no gegg??-was there anything different?-ohhh solo modification?

safety first-ohh a smart chat-

HIKE???-MINING IN CAVES??-BULLS??-ughhhh the code bastards are up to something -that's not how it works PHIL-WAKE UP CHAYANNE

YAEH HEALTH CARE-opp the Hotel is really fuqed

hah Phil you have way too many stalkers on this island -YEAHHH FUQTHE BINARYBASTARD UP PHILL

oh no the French-OH NO MUMZA-ah okay well soon mumza

yeah, ANTZA-that’s cheating Phill-???-what is he talkin about??-somthin' about world edit??

Whooo congrats Chat -omg Phil nooo-welp a little arson is okay sometimes-ahh shit its not little-yeah sure nature-admins problem now

ohh adventure yesyes-WAKE UP CHAYANNE WAKE UP-wat?-OH FUQ-loud to loud

¬lol TALLULAH STAY ASLEEP SWEETIE-YEAH CHAT DAYY

Holly chat that is a great Headcanon-the code bastards eggs lol

ughh Trauma beach-???-quackity in boxing event?

LUZU there?-HE LOST!-aww sad-no happy things for Phil I guess-

Opp what happened?-ah the server lagged-?-cactus lag?

Aww chat yu are loved-Chat pls this is his son- busy old man

Bad cactus-ohhh go down- THERE are NO SUCH THINGS AS TO MANY VENUS PHIL

Ohh deep-cave creeper? Oh he chonks-trash cave

Persimmon! I never has persimmons

Dapper the handyman!- ohhh Life guards POG-omg chat u okay?-wat is going on with the mobs-oh go where is the god apple?-omg the seagull-oh that fuker-omg they eat it-fuk the seagull

Ohh Chayanne bday??-aww- yeah show them some message

Does bull have different milk??-MONKEYS!!-infernal evil Pumpkin??-uhhh?okay?

ACASIAAA-caht don’t farm the monkey-well maybe for Tallulah-bet if Tallulah ask he will says yes-awww

Phil’s parenting 101- I do not get the reference-wat??-huh??? Wat?? How?

Ohh full diamond armour guy- dadza pls-CURSE WATER-oooh the BLIMP-uppies-not many good loot-well done-

CAPPYBARAS-wait we can't trust them-yeah from the wedding-phill you can't demand the wildlife to do work for you

Resct earn -boat time-ROAR TRIP YEAHHH-okay these guys are fun

Pretty baome-you use to be cool Capibaras shame on you-cappy on a bike-lol- ohhh good loot-oh god it head-dodododdod

YEAH FUK HIM UP-good god they are powerful-lol snot-yeah bring them more often-nooo not the FLOATING TREE

Lol-get in LOSERS- is the place dangerous?-omg there op

Omg DAD you cant just Irish left your way out of the fight- that is rude

Hi Fit

Classic Chayanne-cappy here?-NOOOO TALLULAH STAY ASLEEP

YAY for BS missions-YAY CHAYANNE SHRINE

Binary bastar the creep­-glad yu having fun chayanne- yeah Tallulah the poor dear is terrified-yeah cook your way out of trauma kiddo

RAMON-yeah touch grass

YEAHH FTC-fried the cat fish-omg- they are magic cappibaras ramon-Chayanne get down

Safety first-MONEY-omg 100 Yippe-

Are they all gone?-opp there they are-FTC

Thetictacs- new acent unlocked!- yeah cooked the Catfish!

Omg cappis nooo

Phill youcant exploit the wild life like that

The big mountain wall-yupyup tottaly legit-okay ramon is just flexing

Just because ramon just because

Ramon, he is an Anarchist

Tall mountain time-ughhh-FLOWER DUNGON-YEAHHH

FLYING CAPPI

Where are we going?-ah to the mountain-OHH a Toucan! :D-a bamboo creeper?

Wait????-is that Rigby??waitt-OH NOO RIGHBY- RAMOON NOOO-You have its TALE PHILL NOOOO

RIP

PHIL NOOOO- you don’t give ur child a dead corpse of its pet

Welp adventure must go on

The MOUNTAIN-Cappis that is cheating-YEAH TO THE TOP-dance party

Welp to the caves-so good at the video game-gator roll- how do u know??-

YEAH CHILD LABOUR-opp water cave-AHH GLOWY BOY-ohhh big cave

INFECTED DIAMOND ORE??- omg-KIDS- an absolute UNIT

CUBE SHEEP-ohh statues-RAMON DONT DIG DOWNN- RAMON NO-

YEAH, BED ROCK-YEAH MISSION DONE-PARTY-

oh hey the cat live

ugh the bulls- welcome to the FAVELAAS- this one bull against 6- bull hunting time- omg the bulls are riding the guardians-OMG THE BULLS

RAMON NO-PHILNOOO- the oldest shit house

Ohh the day care!!-awwww it looks so cute-oh fit was a teacher??-omg NO

SPINNNN-yu spin me right round baby-BELLS

BAGHERA ANTOINE HELLO

Ahh its Dapper and BBH-opp chayanne gone? Oh he’s in the basket

Yeah the attack yesterday are fuqed-Wait they taking picture of the parents too?

Yeah the Fed lied – a reminder huh?- OHH COLORFUL TOUCAN-

Yeah they just hang- funny noises- okk lets go out- lol- Antoine wat???

Scary Story!- HAM BURGULUAR- Trauma Dump

RIGBY 2.0 LETS GO

Scary retaile story

OMG- Tax Fraud???? PHIL?-lol Drugs- yeah stay an Egg Chayanne- the government IOU

Chayanne stop using others sign

Ah yess glad I still haven’t got any tax

Ah karen-oMG??-u fuqed him?- fukin Bastard- good lord Phil

A Karen Diner??-YEAH CHAYANNE KITCHEN!-FREE FOOD LETS GOO

WHOO STAY LIVING

BYEE CHAYANNE- oh wait uhhh -LOL

PHIL ONCE AGAIN AVOIDS ALL THE RP

WHOO BYE PHILLLL

[lennjamin-o7]

🌯🗡️ anon here! Ok I know I was here earlier but like as I said I've been rereading and like I'm being infected with even more brain rot. I was like too excited and I was worried I'd forget about it when the next update comes so I just decided I'd put the little detailed I noticed in here too because I just like NEED you to know that like I've noticed these little treats you've scattered in.

Ok so the first bit I noticed was Tech saying "I'm getting what I wanted so should I really question it?" that's gonna bite him in the ass so fucking viciously. Like yeah bro, you're gonna get that life of freedom in the woods you'll just get a whole new dad along with it and a change in title!

Oh also the smaller things with Phil that like mix in with like fae folklore!! I love them!! I am eating them up at the speed of light like the small things that get dotted in there. "You can call me Phil" instead of "my name is" since bro cant lie, him wording things differently / weird because because he doesn't wanna tell the truth but he also cant lie so he puts in little half truths. The honey stick!! bro loves honey (as most fae do) and then immediately popped in a tiny little deal with Tech.

Oh also the exchange when Tech first saw him by the cart, where like Phil was talking about the deal and stuff and saying that it's all gone to hell and like Tech tried reassure him with the pear bit and like taking what's left and then turning it into something to benefit him better. Tech might as well have just handed over the adoption papers and a pen for Phil unknowingly lmao

Oh and Tech like nearly slipping up a bunch with the names on top of like unknowingly giving the trophy hubby of the queen of fae like gifts and then happily accepting gifts in return! OH and Phils little ominous like responses when Tech mentions his family and then having lots of things to worry about!! Its all gold and I love it all!!

As well as Phil being like 'dont share my totally not magical cookies' while i like to imagine Tech already plotting giving one to Carl; I just have a feeling that Carls gonna be like a hidden big plot point or something, good for him tbh. Oh and like the crows turning up along with phil a bunch!

I also LOVE how naïve Tech is, like "huh this guy looks super familiar, I feel like I've heard about him before, oh only the queens husband really hangs around birch forests? shame I haven't bumped into him in this birch forest you've been hanging out in! That's a super cool crow I saw earlier, what a coincidence it is that these 'special' cookies you made me also have a crow on them! They're special because specifically YOU made them and you don't want me to share them? that's wild, thanks for the gift bro I really appreciate them! damn I'm super tired after you told me to go to sleep, guess I didn't realise how tired I was!" Like Tech when you finally connect the dots you're gonna be so upset with yourself lmao.

I love that it feels like super real too! Like when you already know Phil's a devious old man its so clear but like if you sit down and think about it from Techs perspective, its so clear that he just wouldn't connect those dots! Like bro Phil could've probably told me he was the queens hubby and I would've thought he was making a weird joke so like yeah ofc Tech wouldn't immediately clock that Phil is the queens hubby because why would he? he's just a strange guy who was stranded by the road!

Anyway I'm sorry for writing you like a bonus novel of my thoughts but like I am just gobbling all these little scraps of lore and worldbuilding up! I feel like a lot of readers will enjoy stuff and then never like tell the author like how fucking good that stuff is so I'm making up for all those people who will enjoy things and notice things but never say it! As always, have an even nicer day then the one I wished you had a few hours ago!

Never apologize for filling my inbox with brainrot. I love it 💚💚💚💚💚.

Techno is 13 and incredibly sheltered. He just wants to go out and look at some trees. Maybe some squirrels. Giant birds. The kid is not going to look the gift horse in the mouth, he just wants to SEE things. And yeah, definitely gonna come back to bite. The gift horse might have been a trojan horse. But he's having fun. He can't be bothered with being safe.

He can call him Phil until the time comes that he can call him Dad. Very simple. And yep, Phil does not lie. It is so fun writing a deceitful character who doesn't lie.

Honeystick idea came from my friend @l1m30. I was originally going to have Techno and the guards drink tea, but have Techno not like tea and just pour sooo much sugar in it. And then offer Phil some of his sugar instead of honey. But Limbo talked about eating honey sticks and I thought "😀 That's much better!" And yeah, Techno is agreeing to so many deals without realizing it. Phil is sneaky.

Oh yeah, Techno was just trying to comfort Phil. And he did. He just signed himself up to be PEARed with Phil for all eternity. The pair isn't perfect, but it still Jams well together. :D but yes, that whole part is fun to write. Techno is just thinking literally, Phil is complaining about the difficulties with the broken adoption system.

Yep. To be fair, he was only going to use their nicknames. But he is only supposed to use those WITH his family, not to others. It wouldn't have been catastrophic, but he HAS gotten in trouble for that before so he is a bit more careful.

Gift giving! Like a real family!! 😀 How much of yourself are you willing to give, Techno??

Oh, had Phil not said anything Carl would have ABSOLUTELY gotten a cookie delight. 100%. Carl is spoiled. He deserves to be spoiled. But Techno would have probably shared them with other people without that promise, and Phil gave those to TECHNO. No regifting.

I've tried very hard to make Phil's fae nature obvious for readers, but plausibly deniable for Techno. Like, c'mon, how many people are blonde with blue eyes? It doesn't mean anything. His ears are normal and he doesn't have wings! And so what if he is hanging around an unnatural forest! I am also going through an unnatural forest! And I'm not suspicious! And it was like 2am, I guess it makes sense I would be tired. I mean, Skeppy is over there drooling on Bad. Probably just didn’t notice. Sugar crash or something.

I loved every moment of this. Please do not apologize. I loved loved loved it.

[fail-boy]

oh noooo, at least you can reschedule !!!!! ive never met a pug before it would be really fun to meet him :3!!!! my favorite dogs are pitbulls, rottweilers, and german shepherds bc they're silly little guys. ive been meaning to get a dog lately but im still unsure with the decision, but i really miss having a dog around yknow. maybe ill volunteer at shelters!!!!

i hope the pizza is the best pizza ever you deserve it :DDDD what are some youtubers you like :o? i like so many it's easier to list who i dont like lolol but ive been fixted on oneyplays recently!!!! i also watch a ton of video essayists and commentary channels like jarvis johnson, chadchad, and drew gooden :3

i love ajj!!!!!!!!!!! i rlly like their body terror song and terrifyer, but in general all of their music is rlly great. im actually really new to branching out within this type of music so i will give some of yours a listen....but i do like machine girl n seeyouspacecowboy (and also mcr, circa, leathermouth, deathspells, etc.), plus a lot of broadway esque things...unfortunately im a theatre kid</3

i hope the things i say make sense bc every time i go to write another message my brain blanks out n i have to stim n make a bunch of excited noises to calm down >~> i am glad i got brave enough to talk on anon because you're really fun to talk to <3333

- 🫀🦷

he's such a sweet boy he's called Elvis and he's the silliest man on earth!!!!

those r the BEST dog breeds i absolutely agree rotties especially r my sweet babies!!! aww yeah i get that! it's a big decision! me and my roomies are thinking about adopting another dog but we've got tons of time to think 💞 shelter volunteering sounds amazing u should absolutely go 4 it!

thank u!!!! i usually don't like pizza but I get garlic and herb "pizza" and it's close enough and super yummy 💓💓

i loveeee youtubers i watch lots of Dan & Phil, kurtis Conner, drew gooden, Danny Gonzalez, jarvis too! i rly like jacob Geller and philosophy tube for video essays especially even tho they talk abt different stuff I love my long form informational videos 💕💕

hell yeah those r 2 great songs!!!! i have a big playlist of my fave ajj songs I can send u if u like :3 it has a Bunch 💓 i loveeee seeyouspacecowboy and all those other bands too!!! death spells and leathermouth especially i love hardcore 🥰 omg no shame here let he who is without sin etc I used to be really into musicals, im not so much anymore but there's still some songs i listen to from les mis, in the heights, and be more chill 💞

oh sugar don't you worry you make perfect sense 💞💞 you're so fucking cute omg i wanna sit u in my lap and give u a kiss and stim together 💕💕

im so glad too! i really enjoy messaging with u, ur great to talk to!

[captainbee66]

Okay little details time!

I had originally planned to add a lot more shading and texture to this, but my motivation died lol

first up!

Leonarda is certainly an egg that I sadly do not see often. I feel like I didn't do her much justice, but she got some little details!

Her wings are based on a flying fish, you can see the second pair on the end of her tail.

The end of her tail is also in a shark fin shape, just to match her papa. Her eyes are also more yellow to be like him as well. Her hair is from vegetta, I think.

Chayanne! Chayanne my beloved child. I know a lot of people give him blond hair like Phil's but i really liked the idea of him having Missa's hair instead, especially since i give him so many of Phil's traits already. (his clothes and tail feathers are very reminiscent of his dad for sure)

I'm not good at face masks, so he ended up with a mask that looks like a skull instead.

I didnt quite know how to incorporate his floaty without it feeling out of place, as he looks a lot more "mature" nowadays to me.

so instead he got a ducky bracelet! (also, you can see his freckles in this picture!)

Richarlyson! Hes a weird case for me, since, like pomme, he doesn't quite resemble most of his dads (maybe felps the most?) He also ended up with the more stereotypically dragon body type, with a basic tail and wings. you cant even see his little fuzzy ears!

and oh, by the stars his hair gave me trouble.

it was. so hard. to get his hair to not look washed out between the blue and red. I do really love his bandages and lil tooth gap tho :]

DAPPER!!!! Oh my beloved boy. I am super proud of his design. His wings are loosely based on a bat's, although i dont think it came across very well. His tail is clearly in a demon-ish shape, since his only "actual" parent is BBH. I'm really proud of this little detail tho,

Since I imagine the eggs are still a little too young to grow horns, Dapper and Bad made little fake demon horns and sewed them onto Dapper's hat so they could do the affectionate horn taps without injuring someone.

Pomme! Pomme is another egg i don't see often, but i know shes a little fighter. I wish i could have make that come across better, but its okay. She also doesn't look much like her parents, although she might have gotten her hair colour from Baghera somewhat. A lot of her features resemble apples for... obvious reasons.

It took a lot of back and forth, but i really enjoyed her scale patterns. (I also HAD to make her a chunky kid, I was a chunky kid. I wish i could have made it more obvious, same with Richarlyson.)

Tallulah, almost done! I'm really proud of her design, although I wish i could have gotten some of her bratty personality down. She's swapped out her papa's hat for the one Forever gave her (Wil's hat probably got torn up at some point). Her hair looks like wilbur's, but some how ive accidentally made her style it like Kristin's lmao. Her tail also resembles a guitar, because obviously. Also!

Her canes! I'm so proud of her canes! Before they canonized her asthma, I always imagined her with elbow crutches (its been in some of my drawings and writings too). I did research to make sure i did these as well as I could, but PLEASE let me know if something's iffy. I wanted to add flower stickers to her canes, but i forgor.

Ramón! our finale! Idk WHY, but ramón is just so tiny to me. I know he's usually depicted as a white dragon, but I've had this rich brown in my head for AGES. I will admit. He.. kinda looks like tubbo. A smidge.

I gave Ramón stripes late on in my design process, and while I love the mustache bandanna, it is such a SHAME I didnt think to make a mustache with the stripes. I also gave him wyvern-ish wings! since hes so skilled with create, I imagined he would appreciate an extra set of hands :)

Also yes, he does have a tail. it's just either hidden or a stumpy one (I didn't have ANY ideas for his tail)

And thats it! their heights arent exactly what i imagine, but its what i imagined at the time :]

We've got a lot of birthdays to catch up on!

[psiithirisma]

Bedrock Bros Actor AU (but not quite focusing on the acting part, to be fair)

Where star child Tommy gets a role for a sitcom with 3 other actors as part of the main cast, one of them being the famous teenage actor Technoblade, aka Tommy's idol.

15 years old Techno is a famous child actor, know for his participation in multiple renowned films, having leading roles in more than one. However, Tommy recognizes him for his appearance in his favorite cartoon which he has been a fan for years.

This cartoon tells the silly adventures of the protagonist, a hilarious bad-ass cute pig that wears a crown and a cape and is extremely good at fighting. A generic type of serie but with high enough ratings to have kept it going.

In said show there's a special episode where the protagonist fighting against a bad guy resulted into him being teleported to another dimension, the audience's dimension. Most of the episode was live-action, Techno chosen as the actor to be the human version of the pig.

Younger Tommy was obsessed with that episode. With the whole cartoon in general but he ADORED that specific episode and when it aired only made his interest for the series stronger.

So when he realizes he's working with THE Technoblade he has no shame in showing how happy he is.

Techno isn't too surprised. He's aware people look-up to him and that he has fans, but what does takes him aback was the fact this kid apparently recognizes him thanks to his appearance from years ago in a cartoon and no other more famous role.

The main character is called Teno (a shortened version of a much MUCH longer name) so now you have little 7 years old Tommy calling Techno "Te'no" due to the beloved character and the similarities between their names. Also because it's easier and quicker to pronounce.

But most people assume its a cute childish mispronunciation of Tech's name since they dont know the cartoon so the general reaction is “aww he's like your little brother” which embarrasses him to hell and back.

Especially when Tommy adds that he is like an older brother to him.

Terrible, horrific, cringe. He is no one's older brother.

...Techno can't really fight the Big Brother allegations when the show they casted him and Tommy for is literally centered on the day-to-day life of a family of 4 (the other two actors being Phil and Wilbur) and all of them fill their respective roles almost as if it was second-nature for them, with the family dynamic following them behind scenes too and present in their off-camera relationships.

Tommy talks a lot about the show to Techno and preys for any fun facts or “classified information” he may have from working on the show.

Techno sadly doesn't but now Tommy got him invested in the show so he gets in contact with some of the writers to have a chat with them. The little blond pretty much ends up interviewing them trying to squeeze as much information as possible out of them.

Speaking about interviews; in an interview the main cast is told to draw the other members and Tommy draws Techno as the little monarch pig but with glasses and after that pigs became part of Techno's brand.

Tommy at some point tells Techno about the character he created a while back, a similar pig to Teno but yellow and blue eyes, wearing a red and white t-shirt and named Big Man (a nickname since Big Man's real name is Nutpig).

It's a clear self-insert but he doesn't comment on it.

Tommy spends hours rambling about the multiple stories he created where Big Man and Teno go on amazing adventures kicking ass. Techno happily listens, sometimes participating with his own made-up adventures.

Occasionally, after a particular exhausting day filming, Techno would find a sheet of paper with a doodle of 2 pigs, Teno and Big Man, on his desk.

Unaware of the soft smile crawling on his lips or the way his fatigue suddenly would lessen at the sight of the childish scribbles.

Techno discovers these official comics of the show and buys them only to read them along with Tommy when the latter would be tired after an entire day in the set.

Most of their reading sessions ending with the youngest drifting to sleep with his face buried on the older's side.

One day Tommy makes Techno a paper crown as a thank-you gift for being an incredible older brother. Saying he isn't sure how older brothers are because he never had one before but despite this he knows Techno is the best one out there.

Techno tries his hardest not to burst into tears right on the spot.

That is something he would find himself doing a lot since meeting Tommy. Trying not to cry out of pure love and affection.

Maybe being an older brother wasn't too bad.

[sodadrabbles]

Heya! Could i request a c! Philza x reader smut with a wing kink? You dont have to but it'd be cool if the plot was that Phill never let her touch his wings and she never knew why. Also she/her pronouns plz

Ahhh, wing kink. When all the people graduated from MHA during the s5 hiatus, all the Hawks stans came to MCYT and just fell in love with Philza. Dilfza supremacy. lord help me I'm formatting this while sitting next to my mother. the RISK.

Pairing: Philza x reader

Rating: SMUT! 18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI

Summary: Philza would never let anyone touch his wings, and never shared why. Today, reader finds that reason.

You and Phil had known each other for a while, long before he came to live in L’manburg. And for as long as you’d known him, he never allowed anyone to touch his wings. It was just so personal for him- He wouldn’t even accept help preening, despite how many times you had asked in the past. When you two start dating, it got a little better- He’d allow the occasional brush of his feathers when they got messy, or when he needed help preening a hard-to-reach spot. But even then, he was very avoidant when it came to letting you touch his wings.

Phil sat on the floor of your shared cabin, shirt and robe discarded somewhere in the room, his wings ruffled up and messy from flying through the nearby forest- Twigs were sticking out of spots and his feathers were all misplaced.  He was struggling to brush through all the mess, but he was so clearly tired from everything he had done today- From hunting with Techno to helping you smith some gold armor for a nether trip tomorrow and going for a walk with Ghostbur, the blonde was reaching a point of exhaustion.

You had been finishing up a batch of fire resistance potions when you decided enough was enough- You were going to help him preen up his wings whether he liked it or not. With new confidence, you placed your three fresh fire res potions in a chest and walked over to your lover, plopping on the floor behind him with your legs crossed.

“(Y/N), what are you-” Phil’s shoulders physically tensed when he felt your hand brush through a part of his outer feathers, gently pulling out several small twigs. He wanted to melt under your touch, a wave of comfortable pleasure washing over him. He sucked in a deep breath and shook himself a bit, his face starting to feel a bit warm. “(Y/N), mate, what’re you doing?”

You hum and gently pet your hand through the thick plumage on the outer part of his wing, straightening out his feathers. His wing twitches a bit at your touch, and Phil makes a quiet whine under his breath. You just assume it was because you accidentally tugged on a feather.

“I’m helping you with your wings, darling.” You other hand travels to the part of his wing closest to the root, straightening the fuzzy down feathers and gently tugging at the loose ones you came across. Phil squirms a bit, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. His face was flushed a deep red and his pants were starting to feel uncomfortably tight.

He broke when you massaged down the skin between the roots of his wings, pushing gently into the tense muscles. It was a simple and loving gesture, but good god did it feel good. A shudder shot through the elytrian, his voice coming out in a high-pitched moan. His dick twitched as he gently rode through the orgasm, his hands now pushing against the somewhat painful hard-on.

You stared wide-eyed at your boyfriend, your cheeks burning from embarrassment. You held your hands tight against your chest, a bit afraid to touch Phil again. When it seemed he had come down from his high, you cleared your throat to get his attention.

"Ph-Phil- Uhm, did you just…?"

The elytrian gives you the smallest nod, his expression one of shame. He refused to look you in the eyes. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, you shift to sit in front of Phil, hands gently taking his. Phil glances at you for a moment, his breath heavy, a barely noticeable shake to his form.

Truth be told, the idea that you could so easily make him cum practically untouched ignited something warm in your core. It sparked a few jittery ideas in your mind that made you a bit too excited. You smile a bit, thinking about what you could do to him now that you had this information- But first you wanted to make sure Phil was okay with this.

"Phil…" You start, wetting your lips a bit. He looks at you with fear flashing through his irises. You laugh a bit and rub your thumbs along his knuckles. "Is that why you never let me touch your wings? Because it, uhm… Feels good?"

You laugh a bit when Phil's wings puff up. He nods again and shifts, his dick still leaving an imprint on his pants. The thought of helping him out with that has you drooling a bit.

"Phil I… I want to try something. With your wings. Is that okay?"

The way he looks at you when you ask, eyes wide and shining with excitement, yet his little nod is hesitant and shy. You slide forward onto his lap, and his hips bucked up to meet yours instinctively. You push your palms against his thighs, keeping him still. 

"Sit still.." You mutter, moving your hands to wrap around his back, fingers resting just beneath the roots of his wings. The large appendages tense and the feathers puff out at the soft touch. Phil squirms under you, desperate for friction. The whines flowing from his mouth nearly make you give in.

You massage the skin between his wings, pressing softly into the muscle. You feel Phil's hands come to rest on your hips, squeezing gently with every soft press you push into the sensitive area.

He mumbles a curse under his breath when you brush your fingers into his feather, his face pushing into your shoulder. You can feel him twitching beneath you, his hard-on pushing into your inner thigh. 

You press against him, grinding that sweet spot between your thighs against the thing poking you, and Phil moans into your shoulder. "Please, fuck, l-let me put it inside you, lemme fill you up."

You laugh at the way he's begging. Who knew just petting his wings a bit could break down the stubborn immortal so easily? You take a hand from his wings to free his member from his clothes, your thumb rubbing across the tip in a subtle tease. 

Phil groans when you try to stand to remove your own clothes, his hands trying to hold you tightly against him. You give him a soft peck to his lips and a few pumps up his shaft before he lets you go. He watches you strip out of your fuzzy arctic clothes lovingly, his hands gripping the carpeted floor harshly. 

When you sit back on Phil's lap, he's quick to lift you by your thighs and push you onto your back.You squeak at his sudden enthusiasm, cut off by the feeling of something pushing at your entrance. Phil holds you tightly, looking at you expectantly. You nod, unable to help the sweet moan that slips out when he pushes all the way into you.

You can feel yourself tighten around the elytrian when he bottoms out, your arms wrapping around his back. Phil starts at a slow pace, giving you time to adjust to his size. The entire time he's moaning praise into your ear, getting louder as his pace picks up.

You yelp when he rubs against that sweet spot inside you, your fingers tangling roughly into his wings. This causes Phil to make another high-pitched noise, his words slurring together and his movements becoming sloppy as he chases his orgasm.

"R-right there, (Y/N), fuck, keep touching right there." He whines, pushing roughly into you again. You smile and pet your hands through his wings, brushing through the feathers and tugging softly. You can feel the knot in your stomach tightening as he pounds into you, your own string of praises flowing from your mouth.

"Phil, I'm close-" You whine, moaning again when you feel his tip gently kiss your cervix. He mutters a quiet 'me too against your shoulder. your fingers curl tightly into his wings as he shoves you over the edge, a wave of pleasure washing over you.

Phil cums shortly after you, the feeling of you tightening around him and the way you tug at his wings finally breaking him. He fills you up with his load, gently riding through his climax by thrusting into you. Each jerk of his hips pulls a little noise from you. He adores all of them.

After a few moments to let you both come down, you take your hands from Phil's wings and gently pet through his hair. Your hands feel clammy and the rest of you feels sticky from sweat, but still you lovingly brush your fingers through his hair as he breathes against you. You press a few soft kisses to his forehead. You'll definitely have to involve his wings more often.

[bedrockbones]

Sbi Aliens human Tommy 👀

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it ///not accepting

Idk if you meant this for flying saucer attack but I'm gonna assume it's just a random alien au sorry lmao

1. Ok so part of the reason humans evolved so fast is because of our tendancy to just. Eat Fucking Everything. Plants made themselves spicy for us not to eat them? Not only do we eat them, some people LIKE the spicy pain taste. Pufferfish are literally toxic? Guess what? Theres places where they are prepared specifically for you to safely consume. If we can eat it, we eat it. And if we cant we will keep trying until we can

That being said the first time they saw tommy drinking wilburs coffee rations they SCREAMED. Caffeine is toxic to humans!!! What in the galaxy was tommy thinking?!

That horror only grew when tommy explained that almost the entire earth regularly consumed caffeine in many different forms and many even actively pursue the product. They effectively banned tommy from consuming it further despite him insisting it's fine

2. Tommy steals from the others so oftenm not anything valuable just food and blankets and small things here and there. and for the first few years of them living together sbi allow this because tommy kind of heavily implies it's a "human instinct"

When they find out later that tommy was screwing with them just to use their shit they are so offended (though techno begrudgingly respects the hussel)

3. The human smile is...weird. it took Technoblade a while to get used to tommys baring his nubby fangs as a positive sign. (Though he'll never admit its kind of adorable. Like a piglet trying to look tough)

4. Something they all secretly love is Tommy's ability to adapt to their instincts and habits. Humans seem to be this blank slate for most instincts and senses. They dont even behave like their ape ancestors that much. But to SBIs surprise, this doesnt mean tommy is detached from their behaviors, he actually adapts to them faster than they even do for each other. Tommy let's phil "preen" his hair. Even mentions it feels nice. Tommy likes swimming with Wilbur and even tries to mimic his bubble blowing under the water. Tommy even let's techno drown him in his gold hoard and lays with him during his hibernation days. philzas theory of this has something to do with humans need for pack and community. its something so ingrained in a humans instinct it allows them to packbond and mimic practically any species behavior in the name of community

5. though SBI has learned a human’s pack bonding tendency is both a blessing and a curse in one. tommy can join in their instinct behaviors, yes. but he also has the terrible habit of taking any and all strays he comes across. he even puts techno’s pet hoarding to shame in only that tommy does not seem to care whatever animal he is adopting is hostile or not. there have been multiple occasions that tommy has smuggled in a alien beast twice his size that very much wants him dead. how he manages to do this without being caught is something that no one knows. they only find out by the bite marks and injuries (and on one memorable occasion, the need for anti-venom) that tommy starts gaining.

“kevin is my friend! you cant get rid of him!” tommy cries about the 2 ton hoglin he has somehow smuggled from technos home planet in the thirty minutes they had stopped by

“shroud wouldnt hurt a fly! ...well he would but thats just because he eats them! he wouldnt hurt me!” tommy says seconds before shroud requires them to make a hospital visit for tommy

[itsbebebrainrotting]

Back here cuz i agree with every person who thinks phil didnt upset sunny knowingly (tho his words were for sure hurtful and not okay imo, especially from sunnys pov, just not intentionally) and can't know sunnys upset without tubbo telling him

My point is that im seeing so many people shame tubbo for poor parenting when he hasnt told phil...

but is that why he wont tell phil? Cuz hes a bad parent?

No. He wont tell phil because hes grieving and depressed and passively suicidal and as a result all over the place. I wouldnt necessarily say hes unfit for parenting yet but he is a fucking mess so i dont expect him to think or remember to tell phil that his daughters been upset by him. Especially because tubbo cant think of phil as anything other than a likeable guy and cant see what unnerves sunny as far as i can tell.

One and only contribution to the phil sunny discourse im making rn is that yeah Tubbo probably should tell phil about how sunny feels...

But firstly i feel like to do that he has to find a time where the kids aren't around cuz it feels like that kinda convo.

And most relevantly i dont know if qtubbo can. Cuz like idk how obvious it is from a non tubbo viewer pov but tubbo is going through some (to put it lightly) difficult times recently. And hes not spoken to anyone about it. At all. And people arent really noticing either aside from sunny. So idk if tubbos been in the headspace to reach out about sunnys issues.

[milqueandsugar]

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Warnings: pissesive obsessive behaviour , mentions of violence/injury , slight NSFW

Genre: Fluff

| Possessive!Technoblade PT VIII |

The two of you stared at each other, your hands trembling as you tried to hold the tray still. He didn't remember? Slowly the look of recognition fell on Technoblade as his confused expression morphed into something more akin to horror. "..oh" the sound was barely above a whisper but you caught it. "So.. you do remember" you let out a nervous chuckle. "I do now.. I'm so sorry."

You couldn't tell if it was because of his raspy voice or the genuine apology that caught you way off guard but, the sentence alone broke your heart. Placing the tray down on the night stand you take a seat in front of the man, taking quick notice of how he couldn't even look at you. Taking his face in your hands you gently tilt his face towards you, his eyes finally landing on you and held the same look you'd expect when someone was looking at a gruesome wound. Disgust.

"Tech it wasn't your fault, the voices gained control.. you.. you weren't yourself, and no one got hurt" you reassured, gently running your thumbs across his cheeks. "It wasn't the voices.." Technoblade sighed, leaning his head into the palm of your hand. God he missed the way your skin felt against his, your scent was a mere foggy memory he desperately wanted to remember. "Wha..what do you mean?" You mumble, your brow furrowed. Surely it had to be the voices, there was no way that he would do those things without them to spur him on.. wouldn't he?

' Coward '

'this isn't how this was planned! '

' Dont tell them yet! It's not romantic '

' they smell like honey '

' Don't do it '

' E '

"The voices don't do it, it's always me who gives into them" Technoblade quickly aide stepped the conversation. He couldn't do it. He could slay thousands, he could and has killed a man with nothing but a quarter, he's taken on the whole server. But he can't tell you how he feels. He felt so small in your hands, despite quite literally towering over you, those eyes of yours.. he couldn't bare to see rejection in them. "Oh Tech.." wrapping your hands around the piglins neck you pull him close to you. "No one blames you, okay? Shit happens, especially to good people, and you're a good person Tech" you praise rocking him slightly as you feel strong arms encompassing you.

Your brief heart to heart with the piglin was soon interrupted by a quiet knocking at the door. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything" Philza chimed, for the second time he had walked in on the two of you, hopefully this time it wouldn't end in swords being drawn. Wiping the tears that began to well in your eyes you pulled away from Techno, instead turning your attention to Phil.

"Yes"

"No"

Glancing at the piglin you shake you're head, "no no it's fine, what's up?" You assure either a smile, the grip on your hands tightening a bit. "Good, I need to clean Technoblade's wounds, the withering effect can be a real bitch if left untreated" The winged man explain, pulling out the small basket of medical supplies. "I could do it phil" you offer standing up and gesturing to the basket. "Do you know how to treat gangrene?" He hummed twirling the basket in his hand as he walked past you to Technoblades side.

"Yeah maybe you should handle that"

"Thought so, this might take a while, you sure you want to stay?" Phil added, beginning to pull gauze and salves from the baskets confines. "Actually I should finish my chores, I'll be back in an hour or so" you shrug off the pleading look the piglin shot your way and waved the two good bye before slipping out of the room. As much as you'd like to spend more time with Technoblade you knew Phil wouldn't push you out of a room if it weren't for a reason. Swallowing thickly you make your way down to the basement. Might as well actually get your chores done.

"You two have grown rather close" Phil observes, helping Technoblade out of his sleeping shirt and onto his stomach. "We always have been" Technoblade snapped back, resting his head on the firm pillow beneath him. Your scent still lingering on his tongue. "I've been you're friend for a good time Techno, I don't believe I've ever seen you like this ." Phil dipped his fingers into the healing salve and began to work the solution into the blackened rotting skin. Not a hiss or groan left the man under him, instead he took to digging his claws into the already tattered pillows.

"What are you getting at Phil,"

"I'm trying to get you to admit it"

"Admit what"

"That you're in love with Y/N"

"I already have" the piglin snorted flinching as the salve began to eat at the wound he was happy he couldn't see. "I have for a while, you know that" He spoke between clenched teeth, feeling the wet of blood begin to role down his sides in streams. It was a shame, he liked these bedsheets.

"Believe me I know, but do they? You seem to be doing a lot but not saying much." Phil scolded, Technoblade didn't have to be facing him to know that he was shaking his head. The two sat in silence as Phil plastered another healing paste onto his wound and wrapped it up, smacking the back of his thighs to let him know he could sit up Phil's wrist was quickly caught by the piglin.

"How do I tell them"

♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

@exorcisms-with-elmo @froggerspoggers

@hahabitchboy @that-local-cryptid @why-am-i-here-t-t @bulletpr00fyears2398 @kittiespitz @sl33pyt1r3 @bbpiglinboy @whatislifebutlemons @genzpop @obey-me-mammons-world @0slothful-milksake0 @boobery @wittyrosebush @theunknowinglys @gothdogge @clover-fox @kutozume @the-flowerghost @matronofthevoid @driverpicksthe-music @tails-and-scales @mediocrity-atitsfinest @bi-narystars @soda-pip @sylum @vrinty @fantsyland @owulu @byebyes-world @imasimpfortechno

[ctntduoarchive]

Trying my hardest to be unbiased about this-

With the whole question of if cwilbur will even bother to say goodbye to quackity (with him still believing negatively towards each other) I think there’s a level of shame though that cwilbur probably feels he has to address. I mean- when all there’s left is broken glass, you can’t just leave it there- you have to clean it up, right?

However, Im not sure cwilbur would be able to confront quackity in person

It’s fucking scary- cause all they know with each other is how to tear each other apart to their cores, and Wilbur certainly doesn’t expect for Quackity to go easy on him if he ever does show his face ever again.

So maybe he finds an alternative solution, maybe a thought out letter mirroring Quackity’s letter that has a newfound meaning of “you were right and I’m making sure not to make the same mistakes again”???

Idk if this makes sense but I’m just wondering you thinks gonna realistically happen if or when there’s a tntduo apology

the copying of quackity's letter is actually a really cool idea

honestly, i dont think cc!tntduo wouldnt choose to not do lore again, so i think we're in luck

BUT thinking it about the way you are, with c!wilbur's pov. i think the shame would get to him a lot, but he would find this new sense of purpose to give c!quackity the proper send off he deserves, because he believes he'll probably never see him again after this 'goodbye'. but he would feel shameful the entire time, they're entire history looming over his head. and also that conflict of admitting to quackity that he's wrong.

and it's not the fact quackity doesnt know he's wrong, its that now quackity knows that wilbur knows that he's wrong. so he'd have shame from both of that, but he'd probably try to think of phil's words and try to push forward to give cquackity that closure

[teeth--eater]

dont think im gonna use this scene, and its a shame to go to waste, so heres a deleted scene from ranboos interlude :] its completely unedited, so. you know. mispellings abound. im not very good at spelling

Tubbo smiles at him when he walks in, gestureing him to sit next to him. Ranboo smiles back, a bit timidly, and takes the seat to the left of Tubbo, leaving the late crewmate's seat empty.

A plate is set down in front of Ranboo by Phil. Ranboo thanks him queity and starts eating. He's been especially hungry these past few days, all this stress is starving him. Phil gives him an amused look at his hunger and Ranboo makes an effort to slow down.

"So, what does the ICA have you doin' Ranboo?" Tubbo asks, breaking the silence and making Ranboo jump a little.

"Here?" Ranboo squeaks. Tubbo laughs.

"Yeah here," Tubbo says.

"Oh, I'm really just here to make sure you guys arent like...criminals? Or at least not putting Tubbo in any danger."

Phil's wings puff up slightly.

"Why are they sending (I)you to check for danger?" Phil says, voice suddenly hard. Ranboo looks down, embarrassed.

"Oh, not like that Ranboo," Phil says hurriedly. "I just mean, why would they send a student to make sure another student is safe? That would put both of you in danger."

Ranboo picks at his food.

"Well, uh- I kinda couldn't say no? Like- I could have, but if they told me later that I had said yes I wouldve belived them, you know my- my memory. Besides I- I dont do super good in my classes and they-"

Ranboo takes a breath and hopes the others dont notice how his voice is shaking.

"I think they wanted me out of the way." Ranboo says thinly. The table is silent, but Ranboo doesn't look up from his food to see their expressions. Horrror slowly rises into panic. (I)Why had he said (I)any of that? They didn't ask for his life story!

Wilbur stands up, slamming his hands on the table and stomping away. Ranboo sinks further in his seat, wanting to sink into the ground and disappear. Techno makes a strange huffing sound that Ranboo is (I)pretty sure means anger, and clears his throat. Ranboo looks up at him warily. The captain's wings are partially spread behind him, though he doesn't seem to be aware of the threat display.

"You dont deserve to be taken advantage of, Ranboo," Phil says sternly, then lets out a frustrated hiss. "Fuck me, once it gets out that the school is using disabled students as their canon fodder there'll be an uproar."

Ranboo shoots to his feet.

"No! The school has good people, I'm just- I'm stupid, a waste of resources-" Phil rises too, almost comically shorter than the enderian, though his wings are fully expanded, each tip nearly brushing the opposite walls in the dining room. Ranboo shrinks back.

"Who is telling you this?" Phil asks, deadly calm. Ranboo's tail curls around his leg nervously.

"No one," Ranboo whispers. Phil steps forward.

"Ranboo, what is going to happen to you when you go back?"

Ranboo breaks.

"They're going to kick me out," Ranboo chokes out, hands coming up to hide his face. "I dont- my haunting kicked me out too- I was- I couldn't hunt because I got lost and- and I couldn't do (I)anything right! I wont- I wont have anywhere to go."

"Ranboo, I'm going to talk to the school," Philza says, though the threatening undercurrent in his voice tells Ranboo there will be a little more than talking involved with that interaction. "We can figure this out, okay? Responsible adults may not be a concept you're used to, but you dont even have to worry, we'll handle it."

Ranboo takes deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He fails, his breathing is shuddering and too-fast, but he's still breathing, so he counts that as a win.

He might not be in a little bit if the embarrassment of what he'd just admitted kills him first, which is looking increasingly likely.

Ranboo looks in Phil's eyes, ignoring the immediate longing to break eye-contact, and sees nothing but honesty there. He nods.

"Okay."

__________________________

He tries to retreat back to his room after that, but is pulled out of his plan of moping with his head under a pillow by a hesitant knock on the door. Ranboo sighs deeply and gets up to answer it. It's not like he can ignore any of the crew, but he's had a pretty rough day and breakfast is barely over. Can't he just be left alone.

"It's bullshit that people take advantage of something you cant control," Wilbur says, voice steady. "Write down everything you want to remember as soon as it happens. People wont be able to lie to you anymore."

Ranboo opens the door to see Wilbur, and winces internally, wondering what he had done to upset the phantling this time.

"Hi Wilbur," Ranboo says nervously. Wilbur's tail is flicking, and he isn't looking at Ranboo, but he holds something out to the enderian all the same. Ranboo takes a step back, thinking, a bit hysterically, that it's a bomb of some sort.

With that vague statement, Wilbur walks back to the main body of the ship, leaving Ranboo staring after him. Once the phantling is fully gone, Ranboo turns around and sits at his desk.

Ranboo takes the book from Wilbur's hands, a bit shaky. He flips the pages open, revealing hundreds of pages of lined paper. He looks back up at Wilbur, eyes wide.

"This is for me?" He asks, awed. Wilbur nods, still looking a bit uncomfortable. The phantling closes his eyes and pushes his ears back, a gesture of apology if Ranboo is remembering right.

"I'm sorry I've been so... dickish." Wilbur says. "I- I've got a lot to protect."

He writes the date, the time, and then 'Wilbur gave me this journal and apologized'.

He stares down at the writing. The knowledge that he will be able to recall this fact, this thing that happened is... new. It's good.

Maybe really (I)can get better.

_________________

and cut! far too soon for resolution, weve got quite a bit more angst to slog through before we see the shore,