#DONT CALL HIM HONEY IT DRIVES ME CRAZY I DIDNT SAY THAT IT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH JUST WORDS

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 3

Summary: ellies birthday and mothers day is coming up as emotions and pent up anger are spiraling between you, negan, and jack while more and more secrets begin to unfold.

18+

Warming: nsfw, fluff, kink, depression, abuse

Sorry for the late update on this chapter its kind of a short one ive just have been going through some personal things and havent found the motivation to finish this one yet.❤ i hope you all like it!❤

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You and negan haven't spoke in a few days ellies birthday is today and you have been busy decorating. Negan is suppose to be picking up the cake at the store. jack has returned back from his "business trip" withq an odd hickey on his neck that keeps gawking at you everytime you speak to him. You want to avoid conflict because you arent so innocent yourself after what happen with negan last time you saw him but thats just not who you are....you have to confront him but you also dont want to ruin ellies day infront of everyone.

"Hey jack, do you mind helping me with this streamer" you called out to him from the ladder

"Sure hun" he took the streamer from your hand taping it up to the wall

"Thank you.....uh negan should be here soon with her cake" you said folding up the step ladder

"I could of went and grabbed it" he scoffs

"I uh..well sorry i didnt know it was a big deal" you try to laugh it off politely

"Dont even worry about it...." He walks past you ramming his ahoulder into you heading outside

Negan had arrive with the cake and so did a few of ellies friends and your mother. You and your mothers relationship really has never been that great but you try to make peace with it for ellies sake. Negan came in with a huge gift box all wrapped in pink with a bow.

" i thought we agreed nothing crazy" you whispered to him

"Whaat...can i not spoil my girl" negan grins at you

Ellie runs out of her room her eyes light up at the size of the gift her dad got her.

"Mommy look at this...its humongo!" She says messing with the bow

"I see honey..dont mess with it yet" you giggle

"Where is your boy toy.." His tongue slides across his bottom lip

You kept silent while negan stared you down waiting for a response but nothing came out his eyes were burning a hole through you he always knew when shit was up.

"Ah i see....the silent treatment" folding his arms

Negan walks off to go play with ellie and say hello to a few people when your mother walks up to you.

"Hey mom..." You say emotionless

"What is negan doing here.." She asks

"Mom...please dont. Thats ellies dad. I told you we are trying to work on things for ellies sake" you say annoyed.

"Well...once a cheater always a cheater. Im just saying" as she sips on her cup of wine walking away

A few hours have passed and ellie got to blow out her candles and eat cake. Jack still hasnt said much to you throughout the whole party and its more than obvious that negan is starting to catch on im just hoping he doesn't notice the hicky on his neck. Ellie has been bugging you about negans gift so you were going to let her open it.

"Ellie open it up over here sweetie so everyone can see" you say smiling

Ellie quikly rips the hot pink rapping paper off and squeals in excitement as she realizes its a electric scooter that she has been wanting. Negan was standing by your side with his hand sneakily rested on your lower back with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh my god you got me that scooter!!" Ellie begins jumping up and down

"Negan....those cost alot" you whispered in his ear

"dont worry about it....i got it taken car of" he says sternly

"Lets take it outside!!" Negans runs over and picks it up in excitment with all of the kids following him outside to ride on the scooter. You were throwing away dirty plates when jack came up to you

"So you want to explain why you and negan have been so close" he quietly says to you

You instantly start to burn with rage as he asks you that knowing he has been keeping things from you too and the fact his assistant melissa has been speaking to him inappropriately. You were holing the knife in your hand for cutting the cake reminding you of the incident that happened between you and negan once you found out he was cheating. you froze and gripped tightly on the knife thinking of how to approach this.

"You're a fucking whore..." He spat at you

"Jack.....get the fuck away from me" you quietly say

"Yeah i bet thats what you want.....so he can fuck you" he says through gritted teeth

"Its. Ellies. Birthday.....fucking knock it off we can settle this later" you slowly set the knife down unclenching your fist

Jack stands there glaring at you with his jaw clecnhed before giving up and walking away. You let out a sigh of relief and pour yourself a glass of wine. You take a sip closing your eyes feeling like everything is going in slomotion in that moment when you here yelling outside and notice its negan and jack. You drop your glass spilling your wine everywhere running outside.

"Back the fuck off man!" Jack yells with his fist balled up

"Ohh...you really want to go there dude..." Negan laughs

"You are fucking (y/n) and i know it!" Jack lunges towards him throwing a punch hitting negan in the face making him stumble

Negan catches his balace reaching up to his face touching where jack punched him in the mouth realizing he is bleeding negan licks the blood off his lips and lets out a sinister almost scary deep chuckle.

"Oh...you fucked up." Negan lunges towards jack football tackling him to the ground he starts punching jack over and over again blood all over his fists

"Negan!!!...no! Stop!" You rush over trying to pry negan off of jack

"Negan stop for ellie please!" You begin to cry struggling to finally get him off causing you to fall backwards with negan on you

"You are a dead fucking man!....now get the fuck off my property..." Negan threats

You push negan off to go check on jack you try to get jack to respond to you and see if he is okay but he just spits in your face shoving you away causing you to fall before you know it negan charges back over and starts beating the shit out of him all you can do is scream at them and cry. Through tear filled eyes you notice the cops rushing up the street pulling into the drive way the last thing you remember is the cops pulling negan off and everything went black.

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Jack and negan were both arrested but were soon let go apparently i had fainted due to stress and dehydration they kept me in the hospital until i was better. You kicked jack out of the house and you haven't spoke to negan since ellies birthday. Things have been rough being alone for ahwile and ellie was getting upset about not seeing her dad.

Text from negan:

Hey....im coming by

You looked at your phone to see a text from negan but you just ignored it and continued to cook some food for ellie. There was a knock at the door you sighed annoyingly before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door to negans innocent brown eyes staring back at you. before you could give him a chance to speak you shut the door in his face but he quickly caught it in time with his foot in the doorway before it closed.

"Negan...ellie should be home. She is still upset" you sigh

"Thats okay i want to make it up to you two" he says pushing the door open coming inside

You just stand there silent with your arms crossed untill you hear ellies bus coming down the road and before you know it she busts through the door yelling.

"Mommmyyyy! Happy mothers dayzz!" Ellies runs up to you handing you a picture she made at school

"Awe...thank you sweet heart its gorgeous" you took the pink paper from her smiling and when to hang it on the fridge

"Look i want to take you two out to dinner...its mothers day and you deserve it..look i know i fucked up but that asshole had it coming" negan says

"Negan dont.....go ask Ellie she is the real one you need to be apologizing to not me" you stare at the ground avoiding eye contact.

"Ohh ellie daddy wants to talk to you!" He walks off to her room

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You, negan, and ellie were all out at dinner at your favorite steakhouse enjoying your meal when the waiter brought a bottle of wine

"Negan....i cant afford that" you quietly say

"Ah ah....you deserve it i mean you are the best mom ever" he winks at you popping the lid off pouring wine into your glass

"Thanks..." You shyly say before taking a sip

"So.....the school fired me" negan cleared his throat

You choked on your drink hearing the words that had just came out of negans mouth

"What?..how come" you say wipping wine off your chin

"Well....they dont want me as a coach anymore since what happened at ellies birthday. They say its wildly inappropriate and against policy to still have me there" he bites in his steak

"What are you going to do..." You ask worried

"Ohhh no biggie i always have things taken care of" he smiles at you

"If you need anything im here..." You look up at him

" i know....thank you" he reaches across the table holding your hand

The three of you finish up dinner afterwards you all go for a late walk through the park. It felt nice to get out and have some fresh air after what happended at the party. Your phone kept buzzing off the hook of texts from jack you kept trying to hide it from negan to not let him worry. You felt bad hiding it from negan but you knew it would start a fight but you also didnt want to let jack go without some talking. Negan took you and ellie back home ellie ran inside and got ready for bed.

"I know he is talking to you..." Negan says sternly while placing one hand against the wall beside your head

"Negan....can we not talk about this right now" you say turning your head away from him

"No!...you will look at me when im speaking to you" negan grabs ahold of your chin forcing you to look at him

"Yes....yes im still talking to him.." You say embarassed

"Why....he is such a load of whoreshit....im standing right infront of you (y/n)...im here now! Take me back please. Im an honest man now!" Negan growls

" get...off of me!" You scream and shove him away from you and begin to walk angrily down the road

"(Y/n) get back here now!...where the fuck do you think you are going!" Negan trys to catch up with you when it suddenly starts raining

"Negan stop trying so hard!...this is going nowhere!" You say crying

"Why do you keep saying that!...i want this to work!" Negan finally catches up to you grabbing you by the arm spinning you around

"......well i dont..." You choked on those words as they slipped out of your mouth it felt like your heart had just stopped for a split second it killed you to say that to negan but it had to be done

"You....dont want this." He said quietly and upset with rain drops running down his perfect face

"Negan....i.... I cant. You have to let me go" you say caressing his face" you said giving him a half smile with a single tear rolling down your cheek

"W....what about ellie.....thats my babygirl" Negan begans to tear up pulling you into a hug

"You can still be in ellies life.....i start therapy next tuesday" you say ending the hug

"You can talk to me (y/n)" negan sniffles

"There are just things that just feel easier letting out to a stranger sometimes..."

"I love you....." Negan says bresthlessly

"....i love you too but from a distance.....i have boundaries set now negan"

You and negan began to walk back to the house getting inside you hand him a towel to dry himself off. Negan follows you to the bedroom.

"There are still some of your clothes in the closet...." You say facing away from him

"You still have some of my old clothes here...." Negan opens the door seeing his shirts still hanging in the same spot before he moved out

"I didnt know if you still wanted them or not..." You say nervously

"Its okay. Thank you" negan takes off his soaking wet shirt switching it out with an old faded band shirt

"You can sleep on the couch if you would like..." You offer him

"You sure you are going to be okay with that?" He raises an eyebrow at you

"Yeah....plus its been lonely here just me and ellie" you chuckle handing him a blanket

Negan takes the blanket from you before turing around to open the bedroom door to leave. As soon as the door shut you quietly sobbed making sure it wasnt loud enough for negan to hear. You wiped your tears away before getting yourself ready for bed. You tossed and turned for most of the night your head filled with unnecessary thoughts and cenarios. You just wanted all of this pain to go away you dont know what you are doing with yourself anymore the only thing that keeps you holding on is ellie and negan.

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[bbaronpiper]

Wake up call

Here’s another collab with @artsaree​. She’s amazing. you should definitely check out her writings.  So basically, we both wrote half of it . 

warnings: smut

Aron x Reader

my part

7:30 am. Your eyes shot open at the sound of your alarm you turned it off quickly but you still heard a low groan coming from the other side of the bed. You felt Arón stir a little but refused to open his eyes. You turn to face him and run a finger on his cheek. Savoring the few moments you have with your boyfriend. You slept last night without him. He was out partying with his friends. Again. You didn’t have a problem with it at first because you swore you’ll never be that type of girlfriend who controls and forbid their man on the things they want to do. Until recently, it became a habit of his.

“Morning, Baby” His voice was low and husky.      

You smiled at him in return, scooting closer. “Slept well?”

“Si” He said while rubbing his eyes. “Partying after spending whole day on set isn’t easy”

You bit the insides of your cheek to stop you from spitting the words. Arón must have noticed this since he then turned to lie on his back and exhales. Leaving your hand that was on his cheek to fall on his shoulder. “Do you have something to say Y/N?”

You leaned on your elbow trying to get him to look at you. Your hands travelled down to his chest “Don’t you think you’ve been partying a lot lately?”

“Mmm Don’t think so..” he shrugged still not looking at you.

“You’re barely home” you almost whispered not sure if you want to push this discussion.

“What do you mean Y/N? I’m always home” he then looked at you.

You were about to open your mouth to spill everything you’ve been feeling lately but then decided not to. He probably too tired for drama anyways.

“Come here” he motioned to you as he opened his arms. You complied and laid on his chest. “Te quiero.” He lifted your chin up and look at you deeply. “Don’t ever think otherwise. Even just for one second” stupid you, let your heart flutter at his words smiling up at him sweetly.

You splash cold water on your face to snap you out of your thoughts. You stare yourself at the mirror and saw your red and puffy eyes. You kept staring blinking rapidly trying to stop the tears from forming. You stood there for what felt like years before wiping your face with a clean towel. You held your breath one last time, tightly shut your eyes only to open them again, exhale and went out of the bathroom and into your shared bedroom.

2:40 am and he’s still not home. Why are you not surprised?

It was so obvious. Looking back now, you felt like a complete idiot blindsided by love. You should’ve seen it coming when he gave you that smile that didn’t reach his eyes anymore, the way your lips touched and moved in sync but the desire to have you was gone.

“Bet you couldn’t last a day without fucking me” you laughed as you teased him. You two just finished fucking and were now watching a movie when his hands travelled up to your thighs again.

“Is that a challenge?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Nahh, just stating facts” you then got this brilliant idea to get back at him for all those times he made you beg and tease you. You straddled him, bury your face onto his neck softly gliding your lips against his skin while your finger trace against his bare chest. You wore nothing but an oversized shirt of his. Nothing underneath so you’re pretty sure he felt how wet you are right now. Normally, this would work. Arón never declined sex.

“Bebe” you whispered to his ear seductively and nibbled on it after.

“Shhh!!! Here comes the best part!” his eyebrows furrowed as he pointed on the screen.

Oh this was gonna be hard. “So, you’re saying, you wouldn’t touch me even if I am naked?” he shrugged, his lips formed an inverted smile with his eyes still glued to the TV. You then took your shirt off. And you swore you heard a soft “damn” coming from him. You just wanted to mess with him, tease him but the feeling of his skin touching yours turned you on as you start grinding him through his boxers moaning close to his ear.

Nada. No emotions.

You sighed in frustration so you decided to take it to another level. You then turned your back at him leaning on his chest, you open your legs wide and draped your legs on his. You smirked as you can already feel his growing bulge against your ass.

“I hate to fuck myself but since my boyfriend’s ignoring me…. Oh well” you announced as your hand gripped his leg and your other hand start to play with your clit. Rubbing small circles and moaning softly at first. You can feel him shifting underneath you. you were surprised when he grabbed your waist and push you off of him and sat you on the side.

“Yo.. you’re b-blocking the view,Y/N” he said uneasy. His hands gripped his thigh and bit his lower lip way too hard for you not to know he’s about to give in.  

You scoffed at him ��Oh it’s on!” you then place your left leg again on his right one and start to rub your clit faster than before making you moan so loud saying things like “Ohhh baby…” “Si, Arooonnn, si!” you’re so wet it made it easier to switch from rubbing your clit into inserting two fingers inside you. your other hand then reached for his growing bulge. He refused to touch you but you definitely wouldn’t refuse to touch him. You started palming him as you pleasure yourself earning a low growl from him. “Let me ride you baby”

You then suddenly felt his hand over yours, the one you had on your pussy and jerk it. “You drive me crazy”

  @artsaree​ /Sara’s part

He managed to push you away a little so he could finally flip you both over so he was now on top.

Smirking down at you he pulled down his pants, making his hard dick slap against his lower stomach.

„Open up.“

You bit your lip and jerked your head back to give him easier access to hover over your face. Slowly he slid his dick in your welcoming mouth, making both of you moan out softly.

„Mhm just like that.“ he groaned and held onto the wall for support as you were sucking his tip seductively.

„Take it.“ he suddenly spoke and pushed his length into your mouth. It was always a little hard for you to fit all of him in your little mouth but he still made sure you were okay.

There was still a little space left so you nodded at him to tell him he could push his entire dick in your mouth.

„Dont want you to gag, u know that.“ he just mumbled but did as you told him and he slid his cock deeper.

„Ah fuck.“ he groaned and threw his head back in pleasure.

You could feel tears building up, he seemed to notice too because he pulled out completely. You swallowed and took a deep breath. „You good?“ he spoke but you just replied by bringing his tip back to your lips.

„Mh good girl.“ he moaned out as you kitten licked his tip.

„On your stomach babygirl.“ he groaned after you had sucked on his tip for a bit.

He got off of you and stood up to get a condom from the drawer.

Meanwhile you lied down on your naked stomach and waited for him.

„Open your legs for papi.“ he growled as you felt a harsh smack on your left ass cheek. That made you moan out in pain but it also felt good. It wasnt hardcore pain, but you did know it would leave a spot.

You opened your legs and lifted your hips up a little.

„Yes good.“ you heard his deep voice behind you.

Arón grabbed a pillow and placed it under your hips for support. „Ready for my cock honey?“ he asked.

„Yes papi.“ you moaned as a response before he slowly slid his hard cock into your trembling pussy. „Ah fuck you‘re always so tight.“ he whispered and grabbed your hips roughly.

Without hesitation he started slamming into you as if there was no tomorrow. With harsh thrusts he kept hitting your g-spot, making your eyes roll back and your mouth fall open.

Arón was moaning loudly as you could already feel him getting closer.

He changed his angle a little by aiming higher, laying down on your butt.

„Babe.“ he growled and suddenly grabbed you by your hair.

He he never done that before.

And he knew you didnt like it since your head was sensitive.

But that moment you were so turned on, you didnt even think of stopping his actions.

Arón fucked you roughly and fast while you were moaning out his name or cursed. You could hear him panting against your back.

„Im coming baby.“ he groaned and slammed into you with no mercy. You couldnt keep it any longer either.

Two last thrusts and he had you coming for him. Your body started shaking as your orgasm went through your body like lightening.

„Yes baby come on.“ he smacked your butt once again until he came as well. „Fuck yes.“ he almost screamed and jerked your head up on your hair.

It hurt but you were too concentrated on your own orgasm you didnt realize.

Your back was up against his chest while his cock was twitching in you, spilling his cum into the condom.

„Ah fuck.“ he breathed out as he calmed down from his intense orgasm.

You were pretty exhausted too and just expected him to cuddle you and finish the movie but he suddenly whispered:“On your back.“

You were confused but followed his commands and lied down.

„Put your arms behind your back. No touching until I come back.“

By nodding you agreed and he left the room without saying any more.

You waited patiently for him to come back and it was really hard not to touch yourself. You just came, yes, but your clit hadnt gotten any of his attention yet. And usually he ate you out before sex or at least rubbed your clit while he was fucking you.

It took him about 5 minutes to finally return to the bedroom, he was now wearing jeans, but his upper body was still exposed.

„Did you touch yourself baby?“

You shook your head truthfully and spoke:“No I didnt.“

-„Promise?“ he asked and stood in front of the bed looking at you.

„I promise daddy.“

He nodded and finally climbed inbetween your legs.

„Good girl.“

He spread your legs carefully before finally attaching his lips to your thighs, placing soft kisses everywhere.

This boy could really fuck you rough and tell you you‘re his baby a second later.

Your hands were still behind your back, just as he had told you to, while his tongue was tracing circles on your thighs and lower stomach.

„Arón.“ you moaned out, seeking pleasure.

He loved being called daddy or papi, but hearing you say his name was his biggest turn on. He loved your voice, and when it said his given name he got reminded how much he loves you really.

„You sure you deserve this for being such a bitch to me before?“ he played.

„Arón please.“ you exclaimed and looked down at him.

He was just laying there, looking up at you, no part of his body touching yours anymore.

„You know what. Nah. Maybe tomorrow.“

[mosquitotoes]

What Makes a Family

Chapter 5: Baby’s Firsts-part 1

Thanksgiving-Nov. 28, 1991

John was driving to Bobby’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Usually, on Thanksgiving, he would pass out on the couch, holding a bucket of chicken but he decided to do something different this year. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt his boys or him to have a home-cooked meal.

“Alright, boys, leave your stuff in here.” He said, pulling into Bobby’s driveway and turning the engine off. “Yes sir, They said in unison, opening their doors and getting out with John. Grabbing Brooke and her stuff they headed up the stairs of the front porch “Yay, you’we back!” Called a little voice when the front door swung open.

“Hey Vanessa” He chuckled, walking up the steps with the boys. Bobby smiled “Y’all are just in time. The turkey and ham are about done.” He informed, shutting the door once they were all inside. “Good, I’m starving” Sam said, setting the diaper bag on the couch. “I’ll help you set the table, Bobby�� John said, taking the cooler to the kitchen.

Once the food was done and the table was set they were all sitting around the big table that Bobby put out. “Daddy, we gots ta say what we’we tankful fow!” Vanessa reminded him from her seat between Sam and Dean. “Do you wanna start us off, darlin’?” He asked, carving up the ham.

Vanessa nodded excitedly “Yeah!” She exclaimed, kneeling up in the chair. “I tankful fow my new fwen Wooke!”  Bobby chuckled, carving up the turkey “Alright, what about you, Dean?” He asked, looking over at the boy. Dean grinned, his candy apple green eyes lighting up “I’m thankful for all this food!” He said happily, making John and Bobby chuckle.

After the rest had said what they were thankful for and their tummies were filled everyone gathered in the living room to watch the Dallas Cowboys versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. “Pack your pie up, boys. It’s getting late and we need to go.” John said, getting up from the couch as Sam and Dean went to the kitchen. Vanessa toddled over to John “I have hug?” She asked, putting her arms little arms up. “Of course, sweetheart” He smiled, bending down to pick her up.

As soon as he lifted her up he felt a sudden sharp pain in his back. Quickly putting her down John groaned in pain and held his back. “You alright, John?” Bobby asked, getting up from his armchair. John slowly sat down on the couch “I think I threw out my back.” He strained, putting a pillow behind him.

“I’ll get the heating pad” Bobby said, walking off toward the bathroom. Vanessa frowned “I sowwy, Unca John.” The man looked at her “It’s not your fault, honey. I’m just old.” He assured her, earning a grin from the four-year-old.

As it turned out getting pinned to a tree and sleeping on a small couch for three days straight wasn’t a good combination at all.

December 24, 1991-Broken Bow, Nebraska

Dean looked at Sam from where he stood at the window of the motel room. “What is that?” He asked, noticing his younger brother wrap something in newspaper funnies on the couch. “Present for Dad” He replied, folding up the edge. Dean scoffed “Yeah, right. Where’d you get the money? Steal it?” Sam taped down a piece “No! Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special.”

“What is it?” Dean asked, looking back at the snow. “A pony” Sam sassed back. “Very funny” Dean said, walking over and sitting down on the couch. “Dad’s gonna be here, right?” Sam asked as Dean picked up a comic book. “He’ll be here” Dean assured him, nodding. “It’s Christmas and Brookie’s first” Sam reminded him, nodding to the bassinet on the coffee table.

“He knows and he’ll be here like he is every year.” Dean said, going back to his comic. Sam nodded “Where is he anyway?” He asked. “On business.” “What kind of business?” “You know that. He sells stuff.” “What kind of stuff?” “Stuff” “Nobody ever tells me anything.” “Then quit asking” Dean said, getting up and moving to one of the beds. Sam kneeled on the couch, resting his arms on the back “Is Dad a spy?” Dean looked up from his comic “Mhm. He’s James Bond.”

“Why do we move around so much?” Sam asked. “Cause everywhere we go they get sick of your face and Brooke’s stinky diapers” Dean told him, continuing to read his comic.  Sam hopped over the couch and leaned on the back. “I’m old enough, Dean. You can tell me the truth.” He insisted. “You don’t want to know the truth. Believe me.” “Is that why we don’t talk about...mom?”

“Shut up! Don’t you ever talk about mom! Ever!” Dean snapped at him, getting off the bed. When he yelled Brooke woke up and started fussing. Dean turned and headed for the door “Wait, where are you going?” Sam asked. “Out” Dean stated, opening the door and slamming it shut once he walked out.

Sam looked over at Brooke “What did I do?” He asked, walking over and picking her up gently “Do you know what I did?” By the time Dean came back it was somewhat dark. “Thought you went out” Sam said, looking up from a comic. “Yeah to get you dinner” Dean replied, tossing him a bag of Funyuns “Don’t forget your vegetables” He told him, heading to the beds.

Sam followed and sat across from him. “I know why you keep a gun under your pillow” He said as Dean opened a can of soda. The older boy lifted his pillow and saw his gun where he had left it. “No you don’t. Stay out of my stuff” He said, putting the pillow down. “And I know why we lay down salt everywhere we go.” Sam informed him. “No, you don’t. Shut up.”

The younger boy leaned back and pulled John’s book out from the mattress, putting it on the nightstand. Dean stood up “Where’d you get that? That’s Dad’s! He’s gonna kick your ass for reading that!” Sam looked up at him “Are monster’s real?” He asked. “What? You’re crazy” Dean scoffed. “Tell me” He urged him.

Dean looked at him and sighed “I swear if you ever tell Dad I told you any of this, I will end you.” Sam nodded “Promise.” The former sat back down on the bed “Well, the first thing you have to know is we have the coolest Dad in the world. He’s a superhero.” Dean started. “He is?” “Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He’s fighting them right now.”

“But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren’t real.” “That’s cause he already checked under there. But yeah, they’re real. Almost everything’s real.” “Is Santa real?” Dean scoffed “No” He shook his head. “If monsters are real they could get us. They could get me or Brooke.” Sam frowned.

“Dad’s not gonna let them get you two” Dean assured his little brother. “But what if they get him?” “They aren’t gonna get Dad. Dad’s, like, the best.” “I read in Dad’s book that they got Mom.” Dean sighed sharply “It’s complicated, Sam.”

“If they got Mom, they can get Dad. And if they get Dad, they can get us” Sam reasoned. “It’s not like that” Dean told him, getting up and sitting next to him. “Okay, Dad’s fine. We’re fine. Trust me. You okay?” He asked, patting his shoulder. “Yeah” Sam whispered, looking away from Dean.

This was a lot for an eight year old to take in. Sam felt as though he had been lied to. “Dad’ll be here. Just like he always is” Dean promised. “I just wanna go to sleep, okay?” Sam sniffled, turning around and laying down with his back to Dean. “It’ll all be better when you wake up” Dean told him as Sam cried quietly. “You’ll see. Promise.”

An hour after midnight Sam woke up to Dean shaking him gently “Sam, wake up. Dad was here. Look at what he brought” Dean told him, nodding to the small Christmas tree. “Dad was here?” Sam asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah! Look at this. We made a killing!” He grinned. Sam yawned “Why didn’t he try to wake me up?” He questioned.

“He tried, like, a thousand times.” He replied. “He did?” Dean nodded “Yeah. Did I tell you he would give us Christmas or what? Go on, dive in!” He encouraged. Sam quickly got out of bed, excited to see what he got, and grabbed two gifts, heading to the couch. Dean picked Brooke up gently from her bassinet and sat next to Sam as he started opening the biggest one “What is it?” He asked once Sam got it unwrapped.

“Sapphire Barbie?” Sam asked, showing him the box. Dean chuckled “Dad probably thinks you’re a girl” He teased. “Shut up” Sam laughed, opening the other gift and pulled out a sparkly baton with ribbons sticking out on each side. “Dad never showed did he?” The hazel eyed boy asked, looking over at his brother.

“Yeah, he did. I swear. Maybe that’s for Brooke” He reasoned, nodding to the baby in his arms. Sam gave him his signature bitch face “And what’s she gonna do with it besides drool on it?” He asked “Dean where’d you get this stuff?” Dean looked away from him and sighed “Nice house up the block. I swear I didn’t know they were chick presents.”

“Look I’m sure Dad would’ve been here if he could” Dean reassured him. “If he’s alive” Sam said, looking down. “Don’t say that. Of course he’s alive. He’s Dad.” He told him. Sam nodded, reaching over and grabbing something he wrapped in newspaper funnies. “Here. Take this” He said, handing it to Dean.

The older boy shook his head “No. No, that’s for Dad” He replied. “Dad lied to me. I want you to have it.” “You sure?” “I’m sure.” Dean put Brooke in his lap gently and took the small package from him, opening it and pulling out a necklace with a black cord and a golden head with horns. “Thanks, Sam. I love it” He smiled, putting on.

Sam nodded “Welcome. We should wrap these back up and take them back to that house. At least they can have a nice Christmas.” He said bitterly, picking the wrapping paper up and getting started.

Little did the boys know that John was stuck on the side of the rode with no gas. Luckily he had called Bobby and he’d be by in a few minutes. He would’ve called the boys but he lost reception before he could make a second call. John waved as Bobby pulled up “Sorry to call you out here on Christmas, Bobby” He said as his friend got out of his truck. “That’s alright. Vanessa wanted to spend Christmas with the boys anyway” Bobby smiled, getting his gas can out of the back and filling up John’s car.

“Hi Unca John!” Vanessa said, leaning out the opened window. John smiled, ruffling her hair “Hey, kiddo. Excited to see the boys and Brooke?” He asked. The four year old nodded excitedly “Yeah!” Bobby chuckled, finishing up “You’re all set, John. Let’s go see those rugrats of yours.”

March 17, 1992-Akron, Ohio

John shook both his boys awake gently “Get ready for school, boys. There’s breakfast sandwiches on the table.” He said, turning on the lights. Dean rubbed his eyes “Do we have to go to school, Dad?” He asked, sitting up. John nodded as he fed Brooke “Yes, you have to” He replied. Even though they moved around alot John still wanted them to have a good education and get good grades.

After both boys ate and got ready John drove them to school. They got to Garfield High first since it was closer to the motel. “Have a good day at school, dude” John said as Dean got out. The thirteen year old slung his backpack over his shoulder “Thanks, Dad, I will.” He smiled, shutting the door and walking up to the entrance. John smiled back “Sammy, you can come sit up front with me if ya want” He said, looking at him from the rearview mirror.

Sam shook his head without looking up from his book “No, thanks” He said, turning the page. John nodded and started driving toward Robinson Elementary. Sam was still mad at John for keeping the whole monsters thing from him. And rightfully so but boy could that kid hold a grudge.

“Have a good day, kiddo” John said, parking in front of the school. Sam closed his book, nodded and got out of the Impala, shutting the door. John sighed as he made his way into the building. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with him, Brooke.” He said, looking down at the three month old.

Brooke cooed and gave him a toothless grin as she chewed on her little gloved hand. John chuckled, driving out of the school parking lot and back to the motel. Once they were back John took off Brooke’s gloves “I know, angel. Let me get you a teething ring” He said, heading to the kitchenette as Brooke fussed. “It’s a good thing I picked some up when I got breakfast, huh?” He stated, opening the freezer and giving one to Brooke.

As soon as the ring was in her little hand she started crying and threw it on the floor. “It’s alright. Shh. We’ll go a different route” He soothed, bouncing her in his arms and opening a cabinet. John grabbed a whiskey bottle and set Brooke in her bassinet. Once he gently rubbed a droplet or two on her gums she calmed down. “See? All better” He smiled, laying her back down gently in her bassinet.

John had done that with his boys before so he really didn’t see a problem with it. “Daddy’s got some research to do so I’m sure you won’t mind watchin’ some Wiggles” He said, making a little fortress of pillows on the bed. Just as he was about to turn on the TV he heard Brooke wheezing. Walking over he saw that his little girl’s cheeks were red and splotchy and her eyes were getting puffy. “Oh shit” He whispered, grabbing Brooke and his keys.

The man bolted out the door, not bothering to lock it or put on his coat, and got into the Impala. John held Brooke close as he floored it to the hospital, praying the whole way. What would’ve been a sixteen minute drive from Econo Lodge to Summa Health System turned into only a five minute drive. John parked at the entrance and busted into the hospital, almost running into a doctor in the process. “Please help my baby!”” He said frantically, practically hyperventilating at this point.

A nurse took her gently from his arms and brought her to one of the exam rooms. The doctor put his hand on his shoulder “We’ll help, sir. Just take a deep breath and explain what happened.” When the doctor put his hand on John’s shoulder the latter felt a sense of calm wash over him. Dr. Custodio guided John to the seating area as he breathed deep “Alright, now what happened?” He asked, sitting down next to him.

Once John told him what had happened the doctor nodded “I’ve seen this pretty often. It’s likely your daughter is allergic to alcohol.” He said, standing up “I’ll go see how I can help and check back with you.” John nodded, standing as well “Thank you, Doctor” He said, shaking his hand. “No problem sir” Dr. Custodio smiled, letting go of his hand and walking off to the exam room.

“How is she, nurse?” Gabriel asked, shutting the door behind him. “A little better now. I’d do more but I’m afraid I’ll activate her powers before she’s ready.” Pele replied with her hand on Brooke’s stomach. Gabriel nodded, rolling up his sleeves “Alright, lemme take over” He said, walking to the other side of the table.

His usual honey colored eyes were bright blue as he put a glowing hand over the tiny baby before him. “Huh, not only is she allergic to alcohol but she also has asthma. Oh and Synesthesia.” Gabriel diagnosed as he continued to heal her. Soon Brooke’s cheeks and eyes were completely clear. Brooke cooed happily, grabbing at his big golden wings. Young kids and babies could see an angels wings.

Some adults could too but that meant that the angel was their guardian. Gabriel chuckled “You like those, huh?” He asked, bouncing her gently. Pele smiled “She’s growing up so fast” She remarked, playing with her curls. “Wanna hold her while I go give him an update?” Her friend asked. Pele nodded “I’d love to” She smiled, taking her gently from him.

Brooke cooed happily, grabbing at her mom’s long curls as Gabe stepped out and headed to the waiting room. John had not stopped pacing back and forth ever since the doctor went into the exam room. “How is she?” The worried father asked, chewing on his thumbnail nervously. “She’s doing just fine right now. We ran some tests and found that she is allergic to alcohol. She also has asthma but that shouldn’t affect her until she’s older.” He explained.

“Thank God” John said, looking up and breathing a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding in until now. “What do I do about her teething then?” He asked, looking at the doctor. “I suggest a cool washcloth and if that doesn’t work then tray a warm one” Dr. Custodio recommended. John nodded “When can I take her home?” He asked, switching his weight to one foot. “I’d like to keep her here for a day or two to keep an eye on her. But you’re welcome to go ahead and see her” He smiled.

John nodded, smiling back “Thanks again, doctor” He said, putting his hand out for him to shake. Dr. Custodio shook his hand, patting him arm “No problem, sir” He said before walking off down the hall. The nurse walked out of the room just as John was walking over “I’ll be by later to bring her some formula.” She smiled. The man nodded, smiling back and looking at her nametag “Thank you, Ember” He said. “It’s no problem. Oh, I need your names” She told him.

“I’m Archer Yar and she’s Natasha.” He replied. Ember nodded “Alright, thank you, Mr. Yar.” She said, heading over to the receptionist’s desk. ‘Of all the names you could’ve picked, John, you decide to go with some from Star Trek? What a nerd.’ She thought, chuckling to herself. John walked in and gingerly picked his babygirl up “Hey, princess. You doin’ alright?” He asked softly, sitting down in the little rocking chair by the bed. “I’m sorry for what I did, sweetheart.” The Hunter told her, kissing her head gently.

Pele stood by the door out of John’s line of sight and smiled, knowing she made the right choice. John rubbed her cheek with his thumb gently “You don’t know how much I love you, pumpkin” He whispered as he rocked in the chair. Brooke grinned slightly, slowly dozing off. John chuckled, glancing over at the clock and seeing it was nearing three. Grabbing his phone from his shirt pocket he dialed on of his friends.

It rang a few times before a man’s voice came through “Hello?”  John held the phone between his shoulder and ear “Hey, Caleb, it’s John. Are you anywhere near Summa Health in Akron?” He asked. “Yeah, I just got done with a hunt in Cuyahoga Falls, why? Something happen?” John got up, bouncing the sleeping baby in his arms “Long story short Brooke’s allergic to alcohol and they wanna keep her for a few days for observation. I just need a favor from you. Do you mind picking the boys up from school?”

“Course not. Just give me the directions and I’m there, man.” A few minutes went by and two young boys walked in with a man “Excuse me, ma’am” He smiled at the receptionist. “Can you tell me where Archer and Natasha Yar are?” The man questioned. The receptionist looked up from her magazine “Room 12. Right down the hall” She replied. Caleb nodded “Thank you. C’mon kiddos” He said, heading down the direction with the boys.

Caleb knocked on the door before opening to reveal John in the rocking chair feeding Brooke. “Hey, boys” He greeted as they ran in. “Hey, Dad. What happened?” Dean asked, getting on the bed with Sam. “I screwed up.” John said simply. “You remember when I would rub Sam’s gums with alcohol to help ‘em?” He asked. His eldest nodded “Yeah I remember” He said.

“Well, as it turns out Brooke’s allergic” John said, putting the bottle on the nightstand and patting her back gently. “Not really your fault, Dad” Sam spoke up. That was the first full sentence he had gotten from him in awhile. John smiled “Still I should’ve had her tested like I had you both tested for your allergies. I knew better but I assumed she’d be alright.” He told them. “And do you know what happens when you assume?” Their father questioned.

Both boys grinned “You make an ass out of you!” They said in unison. “That’s right” John chuckled. Caleb smiled “So is she gonna be okay?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe. John nodded “Yeah, she’ll be fine. The doctor fixed her up real good” He said. “Does that mean we have to spend the night here?” Dean asked.

John nodded “Fraid so, dude” He replied. “Or I can take em back to the motel and watch em until y’all come back” Caleb offered. “You sure?” John asked, looking up at him. The younger Hunter nodded “Positive. It’s been awhile since I’ve hung out with these brats” He said jokingly. John chuckled “Alright, thanks, man.”

Once the two days were up everything went back to the way it had been before.

Easter-April 19, 1992

The Winchesters were in Cape Elizabeth, Maine to visit John’s mom, Millie, and his stepdad, Oscar. They both owned a bed and breakfast called Sandcastle Cove. The fifty-seven year old woman waited on the front porch eagerly despite it being cold. Once the Impala pulled up Millie jogged over “I’m so happy to see you!” She smiled, hugging Sam and Dean tightly once they were out of the car. The boys hugged her back, smiling “Good to see you, too, Grandma” Sam said.

They really didn’t get to see each other very often but John tried to visit every Easter. Millie kissed their heads “You’ve both gotten so big!” She observed as John got out of the car. “Now, what’s this I hear about a new grandbaby?” She asked, turning to her son. John smiled, raising up the bassinet that had a four month old Brooke nestled inside.

Millie beamed “Oh, my goodness! She gorgeous, Johnny” She declared, gently scooping her out of the bassinet. Brooke cooed, grinning at her and showing off her first tooth. “Come on inside. There’s cookies waiting for you” She smiled, walking up the pathway with them. “Where’s Grandpa?” Sam asked, opening the door and walking inside. “He’s down at his auto shop. He’ll be back in a little bit” Millie told them, shutting the door once everyone was inside.

Oscar was the one who taught John everything he knew about cars. “If the weather permits would you two like to go hunt for Easter eggs with some of the local kids?” Millie asked, rocking Brooke gently and holding her close. “Yeah!” The boys exclaimed, munching down on their cookies. Just then the front door opened to Oscar. “Grandpa!” The boys said happily, running over to hug him. Oscar laughed heartily “Hey, boys! Have a good drive?” He asked, hugging them back.

“Yeah! We got to explore the lighthouse yesterday!” Sam grinned. “Ah, Two Lights. I know it well” Oscar nodded, smiling and ruffling his hair. Millie smiled “Ozzy, come meet your granddaughter” She said. Oscar walked over and gently took the baby from Millie’s arms “She’s beautiful” He smiled, looking down at her.

Once they all got acquainted Millie took the kids to the back porch to let them try their hand at whittling. They had learned when they were there last Easter. Millie sat in the rocking chair, feeding Brooke while they whittled. “You boys remember what to do right?” She asked. Sam and Dean nodded “Yes, ma’am” They said in unison, getting started.

After whittling their creations they showed them off to Oscar and John. “I tried to make the Impala” Dean said, holding it up to show them. John smiled, taking it from him gently “It looks just like it. Good job, son” He said, clapping his back. Dean smiled happily “Thanks, Dad” He beamed. “What’d you make, Sammy?” John asked, looking over at him.

“A box!” He smiled, holding it up for them to see. John smiled, taking it from him “Very nice, Sammy” He praised. “We’ll have to sand em down and lacquer or paint em” Oscar smiled. Millie looked out the window “You guys’ll have to do it later because the kids are coming. You boys ready to hunt some eggs?” She asked. “Yeah!” The boys exclaimed, grabbing a basket each.

Millie took them to the big backyard where the kids were gathered. “It’s good to see you all again!” She smiled, looking at them all “I only have one rule: Have fun!” With that the kids were off to look for eggs and Millie went back inside. Sam saw a bright green egg by the swing set.

Once he got close enough to it one of the bigger kids shoved him out of the way and picked it up. “Hey, that’s mine! I saw it first!” Sam glared, getting up and dusting himself off. The boy shrugged “So? I got it first, squirt” He smirked, pushing him again. “Hey! Give it to him and leave him alone!” came a voice.

The boy turned around and was met with candy apple green eyes glaring at him. If looks could kill the older boy would be dust. “Or what, freckles?” He taunted, pushing him slightly. “Or this!” Dean said, punching him square in the jaw. As soon as he punched him he felt pain in his knuckles.

The older boy grabbed his throbbing jaw and glared at Dean “You asked for it!” He declared, tackling him to the ground. The other kids gathered around chanting for them to fight as Sam ran inside to get someone. By the time John had come out Dean had the upper hand. Wading through the sea of children John pulled Dean off the other kid.

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!” He raised his voice, holding the other boy back with one hand as the chanting died down. “You have some explaining to do, boy” John said sternly, looking at Dean. They walked back inside with John’s hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Go back to hunting eggs, everyone” Millie said before pointing to the boy that started it all “Except for you. You can go home.”

John handed Dean a bag of ice and sat down next to him at the kitchen table. “Wanna explain what happened out there?” He asked as Dean iced his hand. His eldest son nodded, looking down. “Kid was picking on Sammy then he pushed me. So I punched him and he tackled me.” He explained.

“Am I in trouble?” He asked, looking back up at him. John shook his head “Nah” He said, smiling slightly “But I am gonna teach ya how to punch without hurting your knuckles, though” John chuckled, ruffling his hair.

That was an Easter they’d never forget.

[evswiftie]

Full breakdown on how I relate look what you made me do to all the past times I've been sexually assaulted

" I don't like your little games" -When I was 11 and swimming in the public pool at the YMCA and this 30 year old man asked if he could play with me in the pool and pick me up and throw me in the water but he "had to touch me here first (he digitally raped me) ( I didnt even know what a Vagina is or does as that age) -When I was 12 and my dads best friend who lived in my house would tell my parents he would watch after me when they went out but instead forcibly touched me and made me touch him. And he would bang on my bedroom door when I was pressing up against it shut because it didn't have a lock, he would offer me to play outside with him on my trampoline just so he could be on top of me and suck in my nipples again but I screamed to leave me alone. When the guy in sophomore year of high school who I had my first real big crush on told me I could trust him so I told him all about my life and he was my first kiss but then right after, he threw me on the ground grabbed my hand and made me give him a hand job and then went around school taunting me by mocking me with my secrets I told him and told people I was a slut. And he call me during the middle of the night threatening that if I didn't send him nudes he would make worse rumors and spread them around. When the 20 year old guy who took my virginity from me raped me when I was 16 tried to email me, text me and follow me on Instagram as if time passing had changed everything. BITCH DONT TALK TO ME. When the guy who molested me outside of a bar gave me the excuse the next day that he was to drunk to know what he was doing even though I saw him get in his car and drive away and text me that night he made it home safe. IF YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO NOT SEXUALLY MOLEST SOMEONE WHO IS TO INTOXICATED TO STAND STRAIGHT. " I don't like your tilted stage " AKA an uneven playing field. When the guy who "had to" digitally rape me in the YMCA swimming pool knew i was to young to know what was happening to me and I was easy to listen to adults so he told me not tell anyone so I stayed quiet about it until I was 17. -When the guy who was my dads best friend knew I was a caring kid and wouldnt tell anyone so my dad wouldn't loose a friend so he took advantage of me. And when I finally told my dad and he made his friend come to the house to confront him DUDE WAS SPEAKING 100% Spanish so I couldnt know what he was saying against me. -When the guy I trusted in high school majorly taunted me outside school and was so sneaky about how he did on school grounds so he wouldnt get in trouble -When the guy who raped me at age 16 asked me if i was ready and I said "I dont know, I think I am" but he was controlling and forceful and went on top of me and I hated it and was to scared to run away or tell him to get off me. -When the guy who molested me outside the bar did it where no one could see and theres not cameras so there was no proof and he apologized the next day. "The role you made me play, of the fool, no I dont like you" All of these people made me play the delusional crazy girl whose making shit up for attention " i don't like your perfect crime, How you laugh when you lie -When I was tired of staying silent for ten years so I finally decided to report something horrible happening to me , at the age of 22 sobbing in the car feeling worthless and like nothing but a sex toy, like my feelings dont matter because all Ill ever be is my body and nothing more, I picked up the phone and called the police, they told me that because I was talking to the guy in the bar before him molesting me he probably thought I wanted it so they told me I should accept his apology. They told me that because I cant remember because I was to intoxicated to remember clearly if he forcibly grabbed my hand and put it down his pants or if I put my hands down there it doesn't even count as sexual assault. Even tho I KNO I was screaming to get out. "You said the gun was mine, isn't cool, no, I don't like you"(oh!) They always tell you to report things but then when you do they dont do anything to help "But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time, Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time" -After being denied of reporting my most recent sexual assault I was in hysterics sobbing in my car realizing that anyone can do anything they want to me and feel like such a low life and absolutely nothing and get away with it. Snot and tears were everywhere and I was messaging my friends saying I cant live like this anymore, whats the point? When Im just going to be tossed from guy to guy simply for their pleasure while they take my dignity from me, when all I get is cat called and harassed and pressured to give myself to them I lifted my head up and realize that if 22 year old erica can't get justice then 11year -16 year old Erica can, NO MATTER what those abusers say to deny it or beat around the bush they WILL go fucking down because I was a MINOR. And theyre not getting out of it with that crime "I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined" -after realizing im gonna come for blood I picked up the phone and called up the police dept and said I'm reporting a sexual assault from 10 years ago and this was at midnight when the police showed up at my house to get a written statement and proceeded to list off every other time I was sexually assaulted . To which the officer accused me of "cop shopping" BITCH YEA. Because I didn't get what I wanted from the first one. BITCH YOU RIGHT IM GONNA KEEP REPORTING IT UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS. "I check it once, then I check it twice, oh" -Did they really sexually assault me if I didnt scream "no" and "rape" and push and shove my way out ? Yes okay ! Just gotta double check I know what happened to me before others tell me over exaggerating! "Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me do" -the next morning after listing off these names to the rude police officer I slept until noon, got up in my grown up boss ass outfit, got in my red buggy and zoomed to the YMCA with my sunglasses feeling like a bad ass scene from a movie, I catwalked into the YMCA to the chorus of LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO and I said I need to see a manager and report an incident then that manager came over and I told her everything that happened in that public pool to me and she was dumb founded because they have a "no tolerance policy" "I don't like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me, you asked me for a place, locked me out then threw a feast (WHAT?!)" -Every single one of these manipulating sexual abusers have affected me in so many ways for the rest of my life. I went to couseling in high school and my recent new Doctor , those two told me that a lot of how I act, talk and think has to do with the after affects and symptoms of being sexually abused and that a portion in my FUCKING BRAIN paused on developing and has a fog over it and cant pay attention to things and I am easily forgetful and space out way more often than the normal person. I DONT LIKE HOW THESE SICK FUCKS HAVE THE KEYS TO THE PERSON I AM TODAY. I don't like that the like psychos who molested me when I was a pre teen took something from me I never had,finding myself at such a crucial age and my confidence I had as a kid. "The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama." While I've been in the deep state of depression and feeling empty I stand there and notice how everyone else lives goes on and theyre happy mean while Im dead on the inside "But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma" -But while Im standing there feeling like everyone can just pretend like it never happened to me even when I told them , I cant help but think of the the sexual abusers getting put in jail or getting their lives taken away from them because they deserve that. "And then the world moves on, but one things for sure Maybe I got mine, but you all get yours" -Maybe for now my karma for trying to go out for fun was to be molested by a boy ll be punished for what you did. " I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me be the actress starring in your bad dreams I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me" -when the boy in high school spread all these awful rumors about me and showed the nudes I sent him (because he threatened me) to his classes, I lost friends at school , no one wanted to talk to me and in return I was left being fearful for the rest of my life that anyone could leave me at any moment. .. " I don't trust nobody" -I turned to all the people whose ever told me " I'll be there for you if you ever need anything "but when that something i need is to tell someone about how I was sexually assaulted they tell everything except things that will actually lift my soul up and make me feel better but no one cares enough to actually check up on me after hearing a horrible traumatic thing happening to me because I don't have the energy to come to people myself every day and come forward on how low I feel. I had people tell me to "just go home" when I'd call them up sobbing in my car and ask them if I could come over for them to comfort me. I've had people literally leave me because I confronted them about only sending me a sad face or "I'm sorry" and nothing more. LIKE. MAYBE SEND ME THE CLEAN SOEECH IDK. I'm desperate to hear some words of encouragement but no people HATE confrontation So much they'll just leave me instead of owning up and offering me anything more then a sad face through a text and their sympathy. "I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams" -Im coming for revenge , I'm gonna make you pay for what you did to me so I'll be in your nightmares "I'm sorry the old Erica can't come to the phone right now, why? OH , cuz she's dead" It's been months since I was sexually assaulted last and the scared old fragile me is dead and I'm becoming this new fierce woman who protects myself. I have two open sexual assault cases open right now and I'm looking for mental health help and okay, I'm overly distracted , it's like there's this fog over my mind and I can't see or think clearly and it's affecting my every day life, I can't do well at work and when I'm in a normal conversation , and cry myself to sleep when I feel worthless. But I've found time can heal most anything. P.s Taylor I admire you so much for defending yourself during your sexual assault trial, I heard you got sassy.. I would have to... it's pretty annoying when you have to relive the incident numerous amount of times and people don't believe you so you have to say it over and over again until you just start to cry because you just want justice. My parents didn't report to the police about the guy who was my dads best friend touching me when I was 12 because they knew all the interviews and questions I would be asked and they didn't want me to relive it m, I was 12 and scared..... 10 years later I got the guts to do but only because i can't live like his anymore unneeded something to matter so i went for justice, I had a interview for a detective and police man in an office in the police station, it was video recorded and everything, they asked me about every little detail of all the 4 times he molested me, it was awful and I cried so much during the whole thing I told them how he took something away from me I never really had as a 12 year old.. my confidence and finding who I am. And saying that out loud made me cry even more but I felt like it was necessary to say so they could believe me and see how much he hurt me. They said it's going to take a long to time to be able to find the him and when they do I need to be prepared for him to deny it and if so we might go to court. I Do NOT have the money for that at all but taylor, I heard you are donating to foundations that help girls defend themselves and I might have to use that and in SO BEYOND THANKFUL. For those foundations and for you helping out. They thanked me for my time and as the detective walked me out to the the main door she said " maybe you'll be able to inspire other girls and let them know it's never to late to report it" and in that moment I felt so inspired... now I feel SO passionate about being a mental health advocate, I have my AA degree so I'll be going back to college and get my psychology degree. I'm gonna kick ass. P.s.s I'm sorry if this post triggered anyone with anything I talked about but I really wanted to let taylor know how I relate to her music P.s.s Taylor i am SO sorry for what you had to go through being sexually assaulted, it really does turn a light off on your personality and I wish I could just take all your pain away, you have been there for me through EVERYTHING and I just want to be there for you and hold your hands through every step . @taylorswift

[yourjughead]

Toast

Requested: You're best friends with Vernonica and the girlfriend ((actually I don't think I use feminine pronouns for reader in this?)) to Archie Andrews himself. When they starting hanging out more often than not, an important date slips his mind.

Pairings: Archiexreader

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking

A/N don't know how long ago this was requested but I'm sorry I'm a bad person. Enjoy the fic Huns

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3rd person “hey YN can't go tonight honey I'm really really sorry, I'm going to practice singing with Veronica I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you” “Singing with Veronica, since when?” “Since today” “Aww that's sweet my boyfriend and my best friend forming a band” you tease. Archie flashes you his award winning smile before kissing your head and jogging off into the school hallways. 2 Week later. “Hi yn I can't make tonight, Veronica and I are going to practice I'm sorry, is that alright?” “Yeah that's okay Arch, have fun” you beam. 4weeks later “Yn Veronica and I already had plans to practice and I forgot I'm so sorry babe” “That's okay, I'll go with Betty and jug” you smile 6weeks later “Yn I gotta go practice with V so I won't be there tonight” “umm I guess...but next Friday is….” you nodded and he took off after calling to you “Yeah yeah yn I gotta go V is waiting”

7weeks later “Hey YN where's Archie?” “Who the fuck knows Kevin, probably practicing with Veronica” you bite. “Woah Ynn, you're acting like he's always with her”

“But he is Kev he is! He's canceled all of our plans we've made for like the past 6 weeks and I can't talk to my best friend about it because she's the reasons why I'm not seeing him!” You slammed your locker and started walking off with Kevin following closely.

“Okay firstly, ouch I thought I was your best friend” you roll your eyes. “Secondly maybe they're a thing” Kevin casually throws out as if it's not a live grenade. You stop dead in your tracks as other students filter out around you excited for the weekend. “Nahhh” you both simultaneously laugh. *Sms: GingerXx: ynn. Can't make tonight. Later. -3.54pm

“Kevin. He canceled. He canceled on me on our 1 year anniversary and he didn't even say sorry! He can't even be bothered to come and tell me face to face anymore! He didn't even say sorry!....kevin...do you...do you really think he's cheating Do you really think so? Honestly?” you can just about get it out as you slide into the passenger seat of Kevin's car. “Well as your elder..” “By like 2 months” you interrupt.

“Ahem! As your elder, I am very wise to these things and being honest with you...yeah yn its a real strong possibility I mean….he doesn't exactly have the best track record with relationships” You didn't speak for the rest of the drive home, Kevin continued on about how he was probably wrong and everything was okay but you weren't listening. You knew what he said first was what he believed. You didn't speak the whole way through helping your parents pack for their weekend in the Hamptons ((you guys this is just where i see ye americans seem to constantly go away to, sorry bout it). You sat down on the couch and flicked through films. You were alone on your anniversary and as the night crept in, you stayed in the dark. You sauntered over to the liquor cabinet and couldn't help yourself. Throwing yourself back on the couch with a swig of liquor you continued to flick through channels as your face contorted with the bitter taste. After finishing your second bottle of liquid courage you were done feeling sorry for yourself and made your way down the street to Archie's house rather unsteadily. You went right to the garage where you know Archie liked to practice, better acoustics. You started banging along the side of the structure before reaching the door and then almost beating that down. Archie opened the door, visibly groggy. “Yn? Oh God what is that smell? Is that...is that alchol?” “Shut up Andrews! Do you know what to-days is” your words came out ever so slightly slurred.

“Are you ahaha are you drunk?” He couldn't fight the smile on his face at his messy girlfriend.

“Shhhh answer the question” you patted his chest, the alcohol was starting to settle in you, maybe two bottles of bourbon and nightly fresh air wasn't the best idea.

“It's Friday” he gave you a confused look with a smile to match.  

“Hmm no nope that can't be the rea-son”

“Umm what?” he laughed “how much have you had to drink?” “DONT PATRONISE ME!” you wrapped your arms as tightly as possible. “Woah Ynn…” it was only then you noticed Veronica curled up on the couch behind Archie, just waking to the sound of your slurred voice. “Oh you're fucking kidding me right?” “Ynn….” “Don't call me that! And then….and then just don't call me.” You turned and practically ran off, not particularly in a coordinated fashion but at speed nevertheless. Bursting in your bedroom you threw yourself onto your bed and let the tears fall. You just let sleep take you after that.

~ “Ughhhhhhh god” the light broke through your half closed curtains. Head spinning you sat up trying to blink the world into focus instantly regretting it as your head drummed against it self. After a second attempt a sitting up was more successful, you put one hand to your head and blinked hard. You then noticed the pillow and sleeping bag at your feet.

Standing up, you shuffled out the door into the bathroom to splash water on your face.

“Yn?” You jumped at the sound of a voice. “Archie?” You cautiously peaked out the door to see the ginger standing there with a plate of toast. “What...what are you doing in my house?” You cautiously stepped towards him. “I followed you back last night, good thing I did too, you left the front door wide open. I crashed on the floor then, I wasn't sure how much you drank...or what you drank or...or what you smoked, you were a little out of it” he smiled but it faded when he saw you didn't return the sentiment. “Thanks...you can leave now” you couldn't meet his eyes as you took the plate from his hands going back into your room.

Cross-legged on the bed munching the slightly burnt bread...the very burnt bread, Archie sheepishly came in and sat down next to you. He moved to put his arm on your leg but shuffled away.

“Yn what did I do, please tell me what I did because I'm racking my brain trying to remember something I've clearly forgotten and it's driving me crazy” you just bit the inside of your mouth. “What date is it Archie” “What is with this question?” “Answer it” “Saturday” he shrugged. “Not day, Date.” “It's the….oh yn, oh yn, oh my god I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry, oh my god yn fuck me!”

“Well I was going to last night but you clearly had other plans now didnt you” you roughly bit the burned bread regretting it instantly and turning your nose up at the charred taste.

“I am so sorry. I am the worst boyfriend in the world….fuck! Im still your boyfriend right?, yn please don't break up with me!” Archie caught your hand in his with pleading eyes. “Depends on whether or not you're screwing my best friend?” “Whether or not I'm what?! Im not screwing Kevin!” You exhaled in frustration to this, Archie decided to switch tactics from humour to seriousness. “That's not what Veronica and I are to each other! We're just friends! We just fell asleep last night cause we were so tired from all the practicing….oh yn please you have to believe me I'd never do that to you” Archie's voice grew frantic as he begged you to meet his eyes.

“I feel like I haven't seen you in 2 months because practice is more important than me…”

“Nothing or nobody is more important to me than you���.except maybe Jughead….and Vegas...I'm also quite fond of Mr Wilson from next door” you playfully hit him with your pillow and he smiled at the fact he was slowly breaking you down.

“I swear yn if I ever forget anything like this again you have permission to kill me” you chuckle lightly.

“No ynn I swear if I ever forget a birthday or wedding anniversary you can straight up kill me and I'll totally understand” he laughed

“Wedding anniversary?” You whisper then bite your bottom lip. “Umm well yeah….i mean if that's okay”

“That's okay” this received a goofy grin from Archie.

“….so what should we do to celebrate our anniversary 2.0” he edged his way into the bed and wrapped an arm around you. You pulled him by the collar of his shirt to meet you “I have an idea or two…” your hand slipped down his inner thigh. “Oh yeah?” He grinned before connecting his lips with yours. “Yeah you can start by…” you guide his hand to your lap, his eyes roaming your body “getting me some proper breakfast” you bring his hand to the plate sitting on your knees. “Whatever you want my love, whatever you want but first I have to have sex with Vernonica soo” he winked and you shoved him off the bed with force laughing. Nothing but love.

-----------------------------------------------

Much Love Xx

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Real feel: mother fucking wear your gloves!!

So 36 cars all sweept in most with red Xs

19 cars altogether got pulled over

2 cars got arrested I saw one being towed away. Almost 3 did but he self soothed himself and calmed down.

My dad (uncle) came and every car left in the parking lot took off in flight.

Denise the clone also came. She can't jump stsrt a car so she expected me to wait for her then wait for a tow truck and my dad knew we were gonna get in a fight cause ita too dam cold for that and she's on her rape cycle and I refuse to get in a car with her. Because it's annoying and I don't want her feeling satisfied she can breathe the same air as me.

It's 5 minutes, 10 at most to jump. 45 minutes to wait for a man and its like 20 minutes to the store.

And i learned how to jump start without lighting the cables on fire, now. Lucas says "oh please! That's the best way!" But not really. It doesn't actually work...

I have no circulation... So I was ice cold in like 10 minutes. So it would had warmed me, tho.

But yeah dad pulls in and suddenly everyone acts like they're escaping jail.

.... I know i should just went in and stared at that super hottt clone hottie that was super super hot and stocking water... But that IS kinda creepy even if he is Just a clone... I was all driving by in my Wal-Mart wheelchair cart and I was all whoa... Is he..? Wait i gotta see l.. Because he squatted down with his hot warm balls beneath him and so I was all lets stop right here in the middle of life and discuss what's on our shopping list until he comes up from behind the pallet...

"Oh my God. Now i see why I was so in love with you William" while my heart literally leaps from my chest bounces back and goes out of rhythem while pounding through 2 shirts.

So then we laughed at my reaction for half hour

Dam he was rugged and hot...

One time I picked up William early for work and I seen him and he ducked behind some concrete shelving used to block off the street from traffic...

And oh my God...

I was walking and I seen him and I was all "oh does he loo--" and he looked at me, i swear and ducked and so i was all "well I'm gonna go see. I don't think William will mind.. Its not like i totally think hes sexy but he might be... I'll just go see... Is it William..?"

Because he was waaaay sexier at work than home... Like there it's all comfy and fun and sexy but this was outside and he looked all sparkly and God like like yum

Now he claims he saw me and saw "a woman on the prowl way too sexy to be at the job site for any work related reason" so to be safe from a kidnapping situation he decided to hide

And hide he did

I leaned over to peek and he kept hiding and hiding and asked some guys at the truck "is she gone?"

"No"

One asked "why are you hiding from your wife?"

"Man! I got one at home! Well i am engaged. Man is she crazy? Does she look it?! Fuck man! Im gonna be so busted! I need to get home! I can't get kidnapped! Fuck this!"

And my eyes got real wide and the guy at the truck just shrugged cause i was all what do i do?!?!

So i kinda jumped and leaned over real far over the cement shelving. "Well HI!!"

I was gonna ask him if he thought i was a psycho bitch then to my face but i slid on the plastic and unfortunately I was wearing a shorter dress than usual.

So he stood up "ma'am I'm just checking the paperwork ill be right back" and ducked again.

"Baby! Uh hi! Baby I don't want to yell but I think i just showed everyone my thong!!"

"What?! Okay i have to finish the uhh paperwork. Man my wife ain't even here shes at home finishing up supper or something"

"Uhm baby! There's a lot of men here which one do you want me to go home with?!"

"Uh any!! Just not me!!"

Mind you everyone is looking at me and him and listening. This is outta control and m6 husband does not say that shit to me, i tried being solid now it was fight time. So i leaned over the other end of the cement wall he loved more than me and lowered my voice "hey psst yeah. Psst William man that crazy bitch is gone now. Jump in the truck and we will take you home!!"

"Really?!?!" He lowered the clipboard he hid behind. "Oh... No.., see.., no i got a ride already!"

"Yeah with me you dumb goon"

"No in here see!" And he jumped in the back of the truck. "I finished the paperwork. Alright let's go!"

So i started to walk over and he jumped way far back in the truck

"Can you please help me? Are you the one i called?" I asked the guy laughing painfully through the whole ordeal.

He looked me up and down real hard "you sure you dont want me to take yoh home?!"

"Am i even at the right construction site?!?!"

"Yes you are. Here hand him this piece of paper." Then he yelled over "HEY WILL she called a little before lunch and left a note and asked if it was alright if she came up and surprised you and i said yeah.. I didn't know you would go a little crazy..."

"She ain't my wife!! Shes too sexy!"

"WHAT??? IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! IM FUCKING COMING UP THERE YOU BETTER GET DOWN!"

"No fuck you bi-atch!!! Wait... Honey? Is that you? I recognize your fingernail because you smashed it the other day"

"Oh it's alright. Just come down" i pleaded.

"With the hammer..." He began walking towards me "let me see it" he looked at it. "Miiiiike if you ever do that again I'm beating the shit out of you." And he sat at the end of the tail gate "well i already got a ride home, with him."

"Okay fine"

"Wait let me see what you have in your hand. These are our keys!! These are mine you're not having them and not allowed in my house Like that... Dressed like a... A... Skank!!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Stay here and get gang raped?!"

"Jesus Christ okay babe prove to me you're my wife"

"Okay fine but don't tell me your sorry" i went around the truck and took off my panties wadded them up and stuffed them in his hand "they're your favorite"

"Yeah but everyone knows that!"

"Who do you tell? Who the fuck do you tell about your favorite panties?!" Like im beyond mad. And I am yelling.

"Yeah well where did you get that dress?! Whose money did you use to buy it??! Hmm?"

"Ive had enough of me" i tried to get MY csr keys back and he wouldn't let me take them "being mother fucking nice to you" he was stronger than me So i tried to armpit trick

"Fuck you being mean to me! Come here!"

"You'll tear my dress! No! My shoe!"

"I think she's really upset at me. I think I've upset her" I bent to fix my shoe and my dress didn't cover ... Anything... Back there. "Hey quit it will you?!"

"Just give me back the key to my car and keep every thing else. Fuck it. Im tired of you anyway. I cook i clean and i come to surprise you and this is what i get and I REFUSE TO CRY HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!!" and i threw the paperwork in his face and busted his nose.

"I,understand you're my baby but did you need to hit me in the face and make my nose bleed?" He said calmly snd slowly

"Youre not bleeding, oh yeah you are. Use the panties"

So this bastard stands up in the back of the truck with my panties to his face and says "Hey Everyone, I'd Like You To Meet My Wife!"

"We've seen a whole lot of her already"

I turn around and there's not 5 or 6 guys anymore. There's 30.

"Oh shit" and I pull my dress down. "Can we just leave?! Please?!?"

"Yeah!! Lets go!!"

So he picked me up and rushes to the car with me and a bunch of dudes come around the corner and i tell him to put me down cause I can feel his hand on my bare ass.

So hes all "goddang it why did you dress so sultry?!"

"For my husband!!! who is apparently a God dang Ass Hole!!!!!!! when hes at work!!"

"Oh honey i didn't mean anything by---"

"Come on let's go!!!" As we rush around the corner there's like 50 construction workers staring hard. "I am never doing this again!!"

"Why?!"

"Hurry and please open the door!!" He reached across and unlocked it

I covered my face with my hands "oh my god oh no you're insane!"

"What? What are you saying to me?!"

"Don't you know you have PTSD? Male trauma? Because I Didnt!!"

"Well yeah I was kidnapped when i was like five!!"

"But you didn't even know me!?!"

"You never wear makeup and not dresses that short!"

"I do all the time!! I walk around partially naked all the time!!!" I looked at traffic "its just the lipstick here let me wipe it off"

"Thats better you could did that at the construction site!"

"Well i just put it back on in the car and I didn't know that's why you were freaking out and going insane on me!!"

"Put it back on?! Why the Hell?!

"I ate a biscuit"

"Why did you put it on in the first place?"

"Have you seen in my caboodle? I have a ton of it! When you get home, look!!"

"Okay alright i will"

"Where are we going? I thought we would go to Tulsa"

"Not now! I gotta go home to make sure you are --- you!!! Now come on!!

"You're the one driving"

"Its my car!!"

"No! Its mine and my dad's see the registration?!?!"

"That's it I'm gonna pull over. Let me see the mole that's on your thigh"

"Its not a mole! Its a freckle!"

"Fine let me see it And you drive!!"

"Okay Okay fine I'll let you see it"

He looks "ok you're you then!"

"Who else would i be?!?"

"A clone!"

"From the freezer?!? Come on! Not me! Let me drice then!"

"You're losing your cool and you never do!"

"Omg Jesus Christ are you kidding me?!?"

"Uhm no"

"I need to start smoking pot. We need to get our own place and we do then this happens."

"Smoking pot?! Uhm no! I do not think so! Here you drive then!! You're a nervous wreck. You need control"

"No i need sex but my husband is INSANE!! I try a nice surprise to be unspoiled and then this happens!"

"Who calls you spoiled?!"

"YOU DO!!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you want a hotel?!"

"What?! No we got dishes at home. They will get me unstressed"

"HON-EY!"

"I'm getting in the back seat PULL OVER!!"

"Now I'm talking! You think i want you to come all this way to go home?"

"BACKSEAT!!!"

As soon as the back Windows fogged a truck of his co-workers drove by honking.

When we finished he said

"We are going home because you NEVER do that to Me!!"

"It was a surprise!! And no im not driving! Im staying in the back seat!"

"You NEVER do that to Me either!!!"

"Well it's a surprise!!!"

I wanna cry he upset me so much so I'm,all screaming from my throat and it sounds all shrill and out of control and hes like trying to calm me down and I don't want to be upset and feeling like life is out of control but he really showed me shit i hadn't seen and I was scared to be at home because what was next? I used a different sauce because I was pregnant and so he throws me out into the street? Barefoot and all because i look different? So i just cried myself to sleep in the back seat of my own car because I didn't know what else to do and it was the only thing i could accomplish that day,

I heard the car door open and close...

He didn't go around the other side to open and get me out... It was dark and cold already.

"There's no one upstairs. Now what do you want to do?" He sat in the car

"I'll just go to my parents. I'll come get my clothes later"

So he yanked open the car door, jumped out, threw the seat forward, yanked me out of the car, threw me over his shoulder, put his hand over my bare ass and carried me up 3 flights of stairs.

Put me in the single comfy chair we had and made dinner.

He sat on a pillow on the floor next to me and fed me.

"What are we going to do if i get pregnant and my body starts to change?"

"Ill just take pictures. I'll use my Polaroid"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I had found out I wss pregnant that morning... Feeling sick like crazy... I took a test in the gas station bathroom. Wrapped it in my purse and went and bought a new dress and shoes and went home, took a bath did my hair and thought I had the whole day still so i should go surprise him at work and go out in Tulsa and make it special... Not days later after the whole town had to come over and seperate us from fighting cause I'm kinda crazy pregnant... And after 2 weeks of couple's therapy and he says "oh baby you're sick a lot i think you may be pregnant. You think?"

"Oh yeah i am. Check my purse."

He did take me out to Tulsa... And I was a bit sad... Because we had been through a lot since that day.. And i wanted telling him to be really special... Turned out he was.

.

.

.

I had taken Polaroid of myself that morning before i got dressed and one from the side and then one after. And wrote "oh!" "Baby!!" "Surprise!" And the date.

Cause I learned how to set the timer and take one of myself

So he went and got them abd said "okay im sorry i shouldn't yelled at you for taking naked Polaroids of your self. Now I see why you would take them. Okay?"

"I guess."

"DID I NOT APOLOGIZE RIGHT?!"

"MAYBE I DIDN'T YELL AT YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!"

He got up like he was fuming mad and circled me like a vulture i Put my arms up and he circled me 2x more then stopped in front of me and I put my hands on his neck

"Are we going to bed? Ill cook dinner after"

"Mmhmmm I'll help!"