#DON'T FEEL BAD WITH MY RESPONE I JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS-

[bloody-bread]

Someone asked "Why is Finneas so evil? How high is his kill count?"

I'll say this, he's not evil, he's a researcher and he has the right (and the wrong) to experiment on it, whatever consequences it may bring upon any world is part of the process of discovering something in a field so novel as it is the dreamscape. Now, he does feel guilty for doing interacting with those dreams, an evil person would not stop to think about if what they are doing is wrong or not, does he keep doing it? yes, but I don't think that makes him evil, a bit stupid yes, but no evil.

Can you blame him tho? He's exploring something that probably the average Evalas inhabitant would call "afterlife" (if they even believe on something like that) , with endless possibilities and outcomes, worlds that may not have the same amount of magic that Evalas does but that are precious and rich on their own way.

And let's not forget that the mere existence of the dreamscape breaks every believe that has it's roots in Evalas (exagerating, idk what they believe in there but you get what I mean), he needs to understand how all of this works before anyone else finds out about it, there is powerful people that may want to use this as a source of power so he can't just go out there and ask questions or debate with other people (aside from his listener Ig) about whatever he has found out until now, he's alone in this, he's the only one (again, aside from the listener) that stands between whoever wants to take advantage of this dreamscape and it's habitants.

So I would never cal him evil, he's the one protecting them even if it may not look like that from their point of view, he commited a few mistakes, yes but in the gran scheme of things is just a small price to pay for the good of the whole dreamscape and Evalas.

And at least two, but that's just theories /hj.

OKAY IM PRETTY SURE THE QUESTION WASN'T EVEN THAT SERIOUS AND TAKE THIS VERY LIGHT HEARTEDLY PLEASE, IF ANYTHING IS WRONG IS BC ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND IM SLEEP DEPRIVED BUT I MEANT WHAT I SAID, AGAIN, A LOT OF THEORIES. HAVE A NICE TIMEZONEEE.

[veeluvss]

we'll get them

>1k

emily prentiss x daughter!reader

tw : nudes and sexual abuse

i pulled up outside the bau, feeling sick. garcia was in here and i was praying she could help me. i hadn't been able to show my face at school for months and mum had no idea. i couldn't tell her. i couldn't dare - what would she think of me? would she call me a whore? a slag? like the rest of them. i knew my mum was usually understanding but at the same time, this was serious.

i left the elevator with my visitor badge on and tried to stay out of sight. i knew mum was on a case and not in town but i didn't know about anyone else. i was well known at the bau, people loved me but i didn't want to be recognised now. i felt ashamed looking at my reflection.

i knocked on the door to garcia's computers and heard her little chime from inside 'two seconds my love'. she didn't know who it was but she called everyone the sweetest names. she just radiated love and positivity, i could already feel myself feeling better. to my shock, jj opened the door. "y/n!" she cheered, smiling widely. "y/n?" garcia said, spinning on her chair. "emily's on a case, did she not tell you?" jj said, concerned. "oh erm," i muttered and lowered my head. "i came to see garcia." "oh come in sweet cheeks!" garcia said, standing up and welcoming me in. "do you want me to leave you to it?" jj asked sweetly but something compelled me to shake my head. i needed her support too. "sit down baby, are you okay?" garcia asked. i felt sick. "i can't tell you so i'm going to show you," i mumbled. "okay," garcia said. i tapped away on my phone til i found the twitter post. i handed it to garcia and she looked at it. jj peering over her shoulder. "oh sugar plum," garcia mumbled. "does emily know?" jj asked me, sadness in her voice. i shook my head rapidly. "please don't tell her!" "y/n," jj sighed. she crouched down beside me and i felt tears welling up in my eyes. "babe, this was posted over a month ago, why didn't you come to me sooner?" "i couldn't leave my house." i buried my head in my hands and jj held me.

"i didn't take them," i whispered. "you didn't?" jj asked, putting some hair behind my ear. penelope was already looking at how to get rid of them, although it was hard. she was going to find the origin at least because then we know who posted them. "some guy," i began explaining. "we got drunk one night when mum was away and he - he forced me too. he used a polaroid and , and his phone but i didn't know he used his phone." "that's okay," jj muttered, stroking my hair. "right, i've got the person who posted it," garcia said. "however, it is one of them cases where it's on the internet and anyone can have them - especially after a month." i nodded, understanding. when she showed me the guy who posted them i felt even more violated as i didn't even know him. "baby, can we ring emily?" jj asked. "no! no you can't!" "she'll understand, she really will." "no, she can't see them." "she doesn't have to see them, we'll just be able to arrest him and get him put away for it. we can also get talking to the people who shared it." i began to cry. i wanted my mum, so bad. i just began to nod. jj and garcia were decent cuddles but nothing beat my mum. jj held me whilst garcia rang emily.

"what've you got for me garcia?" mum asked down the phone. "emily, are you alone?" garcia asked. "this is personal." "i don't really have time for personal-..." she began. "it's about your daughter so yes you do," penelope said. i smiled at that. we heard mum mumble a quick 'excuse me' to whoever she was with. "what's happened?" her voice was panicked. "JJ and i got a little unprompted visit from your baby today," garcia began. i hugged jj and she pulled me closer to her. "is she okay?" emily asked. "emily you can't judge, she's already hurt enough by it and she just needs her mum. okay?" "garcia, what is going on?" "someone posted pictures of her online, erm, not clothed." i hid in jj, not wanting to hear her response. there was silence for a minute. "do you know who?" she asked. "i tracked down the ip address." "does she know them?" garcia looked at me and i shook my head. "she does not." "i'm coming home," she hung up then. i couldn't tell if she was mad or upset or angry or disappointed. i felt sick. i just clung to jj, hoping she'd understand.

a few hours later, mum charged into garcia's office. i was sat on one of the desks, coffee in my hand and apple in the other. i gulped seeing her. she looked at me, between garcia and jj. "i need to see them." she said, holding out her hand. "no!" i said suddenly, getting down. "no mum, please." i begged. "y/n i need to see what they did to you." "emily," jj whispered as i shook my head over and over. "we've seen them. you don't need to see." "it's nothing i haven't seen before for christ sake!" she groaned, throwing up her hands. i began to cry then, she was angry. so so angry with me. "it's not the same em and you know it." jj said, putting a supportive hand on my back. "we have the IP address and we know who posted them online. we just need your orders to send someone to the house and get him arrested." "get him arrested and sent down. and anyone else who distributed it. no one is getting away with this," she said. i looked at her between my fingers and saw her expression soften at the sight of me. she sighed before pulling me into her arms.

"we'll get them," she said. "mum i'm sorry," i cried. "sorry? why on earth are you sorry?" she asked me, genuinely surprised. "i didn't know he was taking them, i didn't know they'd be posted. i dragged you away from a case," i explained, clinging to her blazer. "sweetheart," she whispered, caressing my hair. "this isn't your fault. at all." she pushed me away slightly and put her fingers under my chin so i looked at her. "i'm not mad or disappointed at you. baby i love you and i'd never judge you." she whispered and my heart swelled with love. "i'm just really fucking mad at the people who hurt my baby." i chuckled a little and she pulled me back into my arms. "what did i tell you eh," jj said, rubbing my back. i only nodded, clinging to my mum. i'd needed this. i'd needed her.

[imakemywings]

I am on the feanorians side of the silmaril debate and do see Dior and elwing as thieves. And I hope you dont see this as an attack i just want to explain my reasoning for the way i see it. But to me at least the stealing of the ships is an entirely seperate thing that happened, I know it happened because the silmarils got stolen in the first place. But it has nothing to do with the Dior and elwing part of the silmaril story. And thats why I dont bring up the stealing of the ships when talking about this

And I feel like Dior and elwing are thieves because they have the feanorians most treasured family heirloom and are refusing to give it back to them. And I think calling them thieves isnt exactly right because they didnt steal it from the feanorians and luthien and beren didnt either but it is wrong of them to not give it back. And the feanorians did first write letters asking to be given the silmaril back. The feanorians were wrong in kinslaying to try and get it back, but I do understand how they got to the conclusion to do so. They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever, so they really do have this need of getting it back even without considering the fact that its rightfully theirs to begin with.

As for for Dior and elwings part in this, I have more understanding for Dior than elwing. Dior is a new king and not well known to his people. And the silmaril to him represent a great deed done by his parents and their love for each other and I wouldnt be suprised if the silmaril was starting to become as important to Dior and his people as it was to the feanorians. So him not giving it away makes sense it has personal importance to him and giving it away could mark him as a weak king which is not something he needs. And it is also the fact that we dont know how much he knows about the feanorians oath and what it means he may know nothing at all about it.

Elwing on the other hand is completely different, I do not understand why she does the things she does at all. I will just be discussing the lead up to the kinslaying and not what happens during it, because I have read posts saying that her mental health may have crumbled during it and I do concede they have a point. But that doesnt explain any of the lead up to it. The feanorians ask for the silmaril and she tells them no and its like doesnt she realize that just like last time this can lead to a kinslaying, like does the thought even enter her mind and I dont understand how she could not see it as the likely outcome bu then she doesnt prepare for the eventuality at all. Its so puzzling to me, shes the leader and responible for the safety of everyone there but she doesnt seem to care about it. She doesnt even send her sons to cirdan were they would be safe from the feanorians. For elwing this has all happened before and she does nothing to change what will happen and it doesnt make sense.

So yea im on the feanorians side in this because the silmaril is rightfully theirs and while they did bad bad things to get them back i understand where they are coming from. Something i dont understand with elwing.

Hey anon, I definitely don't see this as an attack; I do appreciate your reasonable tone here.

If you're interested in other more detailed explorations of Elwing and her motivations, definitely check out my Elwing meta tag, because others on on tumblr have done some great work there.

The point I think the other anon was making about the swan ships is that fans can be very quick to condemn Luthien and her descendants as "thieves" of the Silmarils, but say nothing about the Feanorians' theft of the swan ships. No, the events aren't related, but one is a much clearer-cut case of theft than the other, yet it's the one that's swept under the rug to attack those who stand in opposition to the sons of Feanor (SoF). But you're right, it's not relevant to discussing Dior and Elwing in relation to the SoF.

Luthien and Beren, at great personal risk, obtained a Silmaril from Morgoth. I think it's relevant to note that at this point, the SoF appeared to have no problem with Luthien having possession of the Silmaril. In fact, Maedhros takes heart from their success and by it is inspired to begin his efforts which culminate in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

First, let's recall Luthien's history with the Feanorians at the point that she and Beren depart Doriath after Beren is restored to life:

Luthien is aware of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde and the theft of the swan ships, actions of shocking violence by Elves against Elves, and the Noldor's part in trying to conceal it from her parents.

Celegorm and Curufin feign friendship with her when she encounters them on her quest to rescue Beren, only to then trap her in Nargothrond. Celegorm plans to wed her against her will, which strongly implies he also means to rape her, in order to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians.

Celegorm and Curufin overthrew Finrod's chosen successor, Orodreth, and the Arafinweans had been friends of Doriath. She may or may not be aware that Celegorm used the oath to threaten the residents of Nargothrond, implicitly threatening violence against them.

After Luthien has escaped and rescued Beren from Sauron, she encounters Celegorm and Curufin again. Curufin attempts to kidnap her, and Celegorm then attempts to kill Beren when he leaps to her defense.

Celegorm openly makes threats against Thingol and Doriath.

So at this point, you can perhaps see why Luthien does not feel a lot of need to play nice with the SoF. From her perspective, they're pretty scummy people who are more than willing to commit violent acts against other Elves. At no point does Maedhros reprimand or punish Celegorm or Curufin for their actions, which as the leader of the Feanorians, suggests he doesn't think what they did was wrong. Why should she cooperate with them? They didn't risk their lives to obtain one of their Silmarils. If the Silmarils were as important to them as they claim, why haven't they tried harder? She and Beren, with far fewer resources, managed to do it.

Additionally, the Feanorians do not make any effort to reclaim the Silmaril from Luthien during her life. Possibly because she took down Morgoth (briefly).

"For while Luthien wore the Necklace of the Dwarves no Elf would dare to assail her..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath)

So she dies and the Silmaril goes to Dior, her son.

To Dior, the Feanorians are the unquestioned villains of his parents' story. These are people who openly threatened his grandfather's kingdom, who tried to force his mother into marriage and imprisoned her, who tried to kill his father. Sure, you can argue that they have an ancestral claim on the Silmaril--but cannot Dior also make that argument at this point? And what motivation does he have to cooperate with them? They do nothing to win his friendship, as they have done nothing to win the friendship of Doriath throughout their time in Beleriand. If Maedhros is such a formidable diplomat, why can he not come to terms with Dior?

"They [the Feanorians] came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath, emphasis added)

Furthermore, to your point, Dior is a young king--and a mortal among Elves. Doriath is also recovering from the war with Nogrod; they are already in a vulnerable position, and with Melian gone, the Girdle is down, so they are far more exposed than they are accustomed to being and having to adjust to that.

So Dior does not relinquish the Silmaril, and rather than pursue the two held by Morgoth, the Feanorians assault Doriath, kill many Elves, throw at least two children out into the woods to die of exposure, and still fail to capture the Silmaril.

So Dior dies and the Silmaril goes to Elwing, his daughter.

Consider what the Feanorians represent to Elwing at this point.

These are Elves who have shown themselves to be unrepentant killers. We as the fans love to focus on the tormented regret of the Feanorians, but to their victims, they are simply killers. They committed slaughter in the Blessed Realm, for which they were exiled by the Valar, and for which they have expressed such regrets--except that they've gone and done the same thing here in Beleriand. They have threatened forced marriage, they have killed children, they have driven the Iathrim from their home and made them refugees. To Elwing personally, they are the murderers of her parents and the ones who dragged her brothers into the woods as children and left them to die.

What, precisely, might motivate Elwing to cooperate with them? So the Silmaril "belongs" to them--so what? They have tormented Luthien's line for generations now--the Feanorians ARE the Morgoth of Elwing's story. And she should give into them why? The Ring belongs to Sauron--should Frodo hand it over because it's his property?

Maedhros, who has apparently lost all diplomatic veneer, does nothing to show good faith or a desire to cooperate with Elwing. Instead, he writes with his demands, as he did with Dior.

The one thing--the ONE thing--that might make Elwing cooperate is, to me, solely to avoid another slaughter as happened in Doriath, as you mentioned. So in this vein, why doesn't Elwing surrender the Silmaril just to avoid trouble, even if she hates and distrusts the Feanorians? There are two things which are absolutely key to understanding this decision.

1.Elwing does not make the decision alone. Critics of Elwing often act as though she made a unilateral decision to withhold the Silmaril from the Feanorians--which is not the case. In fact, Tolkien writes that "Elwing and the people of Sirion" refused to yield the jewel under threat.

This is not an unusual response. Most people do not respond well to being threatened, and may refuse out of spite. Furthermore, these are people who were made refugees by the same people now making demands of them.

But more importantly, Elwing did not alone choose to keep the Silmaril. She and whatever Sirionites aided her in governing decided together that they would not give in to the Feanorians.

2. The second is that the Sirionites believed the Silmaril was protecting Earendil and the Havens. Remember that at this time, Earendil is seeking for Aman, to obtain the help of the Valar in defeating Morgoth. So not only is he the lord of the Havens at Sirion, but he is on a quest which is, to them, of critical importance. They need him to stay safe so that he can complete his mission and hopefully win Beleriand's rescue.

And to your point about Dior above--this Silmaril is effectively a family heirloom to Elwing as well.

The Sirionites are particularly loath to part with the Silmaril while Earendil is at sea--which makes sense, as he is a ruling lord of this city, and they believe his protection is somewhat dependent on their possession of the Silmaril.

But the Feanorians don't wait for Earendil to return to negotiate--they lay siege to the Havens at Sirion while Earendil is still away ("For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin, and the remnant of Doriath" Of the Voyage of Earendil and the War of Wrath, emphasis added) and render the Iathrim virtually extinct as a people. Once again, they come down "suddenly" on another group of Elves and destroy them.

What the Feanorians do in the Havens at Sirion is so awful ("the cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf") that their own troops stand aside or even turn against them during the fight in an effort to defend the Sirionites; the Feanorians kill them too.

This, to me, tells us how far the Feanorians are from attempting any real diplomatic work here. They are not even considering the Silmarils that Morgoth still has; they have utterly failed to reach Elwing in a diplomatic or cooperative manner; they refuse to even wait until Earendil has returned so that he and Elwing can make a decision together, as joint rulers of this city.

Why doesn't Elwing fortify the Havens? We have no evidence that she doesn't. Only that it wasn't enough to stop the Feanorians. Why doesn't she send Elrond and Elros away? That poses its own risks--and she may believe they are safest there, as the Sirionites believe the Silmaril is protecting the Havens. It may be incorrect, but it is something they believe and they operate under that belief.

But even if you think she didn't do things she should have--does that justify the actions of the Feanorians? It's fine for them to murder because their victims didn't do enough to prevent them from murdering? You took our object so we can kill you for it now?

Putting all that aside for now, I want to jump over to the oath, because you mentioned something interesting about it:

They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever

Purgatory and hell do not exist in Ea. What exactly the Feanorians think their "punishment" for breaking the oath will be is unclear, whether it's just death without the chance for rebirth (as is the case with Feanor, and seems to be the most extreme punishment the Valar can or will enact), or something more. Clearly they put a lot of stock in it--but they also are not totally beyond the notion of breaking it. Maglor himself suggests after the Third Kinslaying that they should abandon the quest and plead their repentance to the Valar, but Maedhros refuses.

Maedhros seems to still believe they may suffer some punishment for breaking it--that Eru might actually hold them to the oath they swore. But Maglor counters with the notion the oath can be voided:

"Yet Maglor held back, saying: 'If Manwe and Varda themselves deny the fulfillment of an oath to which we named them in witness, is it not made void?'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

And of course, why would Manwe and Varda hold them to an oath which has caused so much strife, and which promises to cause more? Why should they desire the Feanorians to be held to an oath which causes them to murder and destroy other Elves? Maedhros refuses, still believing, or at least asserting, that some punishment by Eru awaits if they break the oath. Maglor somewhat grimly points out that given what they've done, punishment is their due one way or other other:

"'If none can release us,' said Maglor, 'then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep the oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking.'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

Maglor acknowledges that they have done evil in pursuit of the oath and that they will continue to do evil if they do not choose to set it aside. Furthermore, that if they cannot be excused from the oath, they're likely to experience punishment either for breaking it or for the things they do in pursuit of it, so it's all the same in the end anyway. Yet Maedhros and Maglor instead make a free and conscious decision to continue their pursuit of the Silmarils.

They are a) well aware that they have done horrible, awful things trying to fulfill this oath; and b) aware that breaking it is an option. They choose not to. They have chosen not to this entire story.

And truthfully, even if they would be condemned to purgatory or whatever, it doesn't justify what they do. They chose to swear this oath, they have chosen to pursue it, and if they are willing to slaughter whomever they need to to protect themselves from the consequences of their own oaths, that still makes them selfish, wretched people who are willing to sacrifice anyone else to make sure they themselves stay safe.

Even if they were able to obtain the one Silmaril from Elwing, the oath is not fulfilled. Morgoth still has two. Everything they did to Doriath and the Havens at Sirion is worthless without the other two Silmarils, but they did it anyway; and even after the chaos wrought by their actions there, go ahead and slay Eonwe's guard after the War of Wrath to steal the Silmarils everyone else had rescued from Morgoth.

The Feanorians have done so much wrong that the Silmarils themselves reject them by the end. I don't know how else the narrative could make it clearer they are in the wrong. Tolkien implies that the oath was wicked from the very start, and always bound to lead the Feanorians into wrongful acts.

Lastly, I will point over at this meta I wrote a few months back about how if the Feanorians had obtained the Silmaril from Elwing, it would likely have doomed Middle-earth to Morgoth's rule.

In any case, I don't think anyone who escalates a situation to murder is ever in the right, and certainly not over something like property rights. If you can sympathize with the Feanorians about their perspective, you should be able to consider what the Feanorians are to the perspective of Luthien's line--and why they are not keen to work together with the Feanorians or give them what they want.

Not sure if you found any of this convincing, but I hope it's something to consider at least!

[nysocboy]

"The Seminarian": Gay evangelical looks for love, annoys his friends and the viewer. No, it's not Kelvin Gemstone

The Seminarian 2011: "A seminarian saves a lady's life. They fall in love."  And "A closeted gay seminarian struggles..."  Well, which is it?  It can't be both.  The only way to find out is to watch on Roku.

Scene 1: Whoa, the first scene shows a very well hung naked guy changing clothes in his kitchen!  Now we know the audience they're going after.  

He's Ryan Goodman (Goodman, har har) (Mark Cirillo), who lives in an incredible decadent-red apartment with his "when will you find a girl and get married" mother.  He is about to graduate from a conservative evangelical seminary, but he doesn't want to become a preacher: he's applying to a Ph.D. program at Yale. 

 

Scene 2: Meeting with his thesis advisor. Ryan is writing on how "love and desire" encourage procreation, protection, and socialization, "which enable us to survive and persist as a species."  The point of life is reproduction?  That's the house, job, wife, kids trajectory that my parents were always pushing on me.  I thought a gay guy would come up with something less oppressive.  Besides, he forgot the theology. "Oh, right...um...when we love each other, we reflect God's love." .

Scene 3: A restroom hookup leads to a heart-to-heart.  The guy had a bad breakup six years ago, and hasn't dated anyone since.  "So you're content without love?" Mark asks, horrified.  Some people are aromantic, and some are asexual.

Scene 4: Mark has only one gay friend on campus, Gerald (Matthew Hanon), who has just been dumped by his boyfriend, and doesn't have the energy to listen to his "love is bollocks" moaning.  Also a sraight friend, Eugene, who plasters the campus with "Protect Traditional Marriage" fliers. 

Although he has a girlfriend, Straight Eugene argues that you don't need to be in a relationship -- God's love is enough.  If you disagree, you don't understand God, and what are you doing in seminary?  Judgmental, aren't you?  Oh, right, you're training to become a preacher, and hate gays for a living.

Scene 5:  Mark working on his thesis: "When you love another human being, you love God."  He pauses for cybersex with Bradley, his online boyfriend, who lives too far away to meet. 

Scene 6: Mark decides to busybody into his gay friend Gerald's relationship, but  they have reconciled and don't want him nosing around.

Cut to the gym, where Mark is talking to his other gay friend about the Online Boyfriend. "So he lives far away.  You have to go see him, or you will never find love."  Dude, you live in Los Angeles.  Just walk into any bar and say "I have 8 inches.  Who wants to buy me dinner?"

Cut to Mark sitting on a bench, looking morose while Straight Eugene flirts with his girlfriend.

Scene 7: Mark bites the bullet and drives all the way down to Irvine to meet his Online Boyfriend. Ugh, bare apartment.  Ever hear of paintings?  Cut to the next day, with Mark gushing about the date to his gay friend Gerald.  Gerald isn't interested. 

Scene 8: Uh-oh, Online Boyfriend ghosts Mark. The various intertwining relationships are getting complicated. I'd better stop the scene-by-scene here.

The Online Boyfriend has some problems with drinking and depression, and keeps jerking Mark around, so Mark goes after his gay friend Gerald.  But Gerald isn't into it. 

Mark changes his thesis: "How can love be a gift from God, when it causes so much pain? The pain we feel is the pain God feels when we reject His love." 

He goes farther down the rabbit hole of disbelief: Didn't God know in advance about Adam and Eve's fall, which created this world of misery?  How could a good God allow it?  "This is what I hate about theology. It's justifying senseless beliefs with elaborate pontifications."  His friends wonder why he's still in seminary, and if he's still saved.  "You've backslidden, man."

He comes out to his friend's girlfriend, who respons about as you would expect: "You chose to sin!  You have to repent, and return to God!"  And to his thesis advisor, who advises: Don't tell anyone else, You don't want to be expelled a few months before graduation.  

Finally, we watch Mark sitting on a bench, staring into space, for about five minutes. Then he goes home and stares into space some more, and starts crying.  Mom asks what's wrong.  "Do you really want to know?" he asks.  "I'll tell you." Cut to black.

Beefcake:  Three penises. None of the other actors have any beefcake photos available. Left: more of Mark's penis.

Angst: I thought the crisis would be about "can you be gay and Christian," but it's really "why is love so painful?"  Being gay makes it more painful only because Ryan can't talk to many people about it. Just Gerald, Anthony, and Anthony's new boyfriend Jeff. 

My Grade: Too slow -- we spend 20 seconds staring at a curb, waiting for Ryan to walk by.  Rather wooden performances -- Ryan has one facial expression.  And I hate it when movies end abruptly,without a plot resol.... 

The full review, with nude photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[chatonmagique]

My bf is very selective with what he wants ro hear. Anything that has a possibility of provoking conflict or criticism stresses him out to the point he flat out just won't respond. He can be so distant that I end up asking wether he still hears me with no answer to that either. All while still being able to consciously do activities on his phone. At that point it doesn't matter what I say. Sometimes it's less bad and he will respond to other more superficial and enjoyable topics (like pokemon or getting a hamster) But it makes me feel frustrated and lonely when that happens still. I know it's very likely related to trauma but I don't understand it very well and barely have any idea how to adapt to his (lack of) response. I guess when something makes me unfortable or annoyed I just have to point it out in the moment and just have to accept I won't always get an answer in hopes he has at least heard me. Because when I come back to a topic that bothers me later on and continue talking about it or asking him questions chances are high he only will hear half of it while I grow only more frustrated by the lack of respone.

[loonyplenny]

Gaara's week 2022 | Day 3 - Growth | Love

His love and growth

Being ninja of Sand village was rought those days.

Chunin exam at Konoha has been a mass and plan went completely doomed. Like that wasn't worst, when Baki-san returned, he and other shinobi found Fourth Kazekage dead in desert. They said his death was Orochimaru's fault.

You've never seen such a chaos.

If it only was just that...

Afrer inefficient Konoha's crush, Temari, Kankuro and Gaara returned home almost unrecognizable. Something about the deeply changed and that change was the most visible on Gaara.

You very well knew their story and seeing sudden change in light of their eyes was worring you.

It's been few weeks since everything happend and citizens started moving on with their lives or at least it smeed so.

People were walking around, talked and acted as always, but they looked more like ghost than humans.

And it made you unbearably nervous.

That day, you found yourself siting alone, far away from everyone. Again.

Maybe i really should talk to someone.

You were so deep in thoughts you didn't even hear footsteps approching you.

- Y/N?-, called Gaara's voice.

You jumped.

- Gaara...-, you sighed suprised. - What's bringing you here?-

- You're very quite. It's not like you.-, he said seriously.

You didn't know how to respon. He was right, yes, but still, he was Gaara.

So many scary stories about him, most of them were truth, but not all. Still, spilled blood was real. You were teriffed of him, but adults were the ones to blamed for that. He was just a child, like you and like everyone.

But, in contrast to every story you heared from all the adults, he didn't look like he was planing anything now and his eyes had diffrent shine.

- Y-yeah-, you brought your chin to your knees. - I'm not really myself nowdays.-

- Do you mind if I sit next to you?-

Did he just-

- But only if you're alright with it.-, he finished and it sounded like he was scared of your answer.

You blinked few times while you were thinking before you have him an answer.

- Yes, I'm totally alright with it! I'd, actually, really like some company.-

- Even mine?-

- Even yours. You're not really that bad.-

He was staring at you speachless. You patted stop next to yourself. - It's alright, Gaara. Take a seat.-

He sat down and he stared into the distance. Look in his eyes suddenly changed and it looked a bit sad.

You tilted your head. -Gaara? Are you alright?-

He sighed.

What shall I do?, you were wondering. You putted your hand on his knee, trying to give him comfort.

That made him freez.

Moving your hand back, you started scratching it nervously. - S-sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry.-

He was quiet for a while.

Great...

- Don't be sorry.-, he finally spoked. -It's just that... My feelings are mixed. In Konoha, I meet someone with same story as mine. That really made me... I started to think and... I realized I'm unhappy living like this. I really want to change, Y/N. Do you... Do you think I can become someone else? Someone... Preciouse to others? Do you... belive in that?-

What a suprise.

It tooked you just a second to understand it all, not just words. And you smlied purely.

- Of course I belive in it, Gaara! I belive in it completly and I belive in you! You're such a kind person that it seems to me nothing would be impossible for you! And-, you came closer, your hand next to his, fingers brushing against one another, - for now on, you mave forever support and a friend in me! Belive it!-

- You... You actually mean that?-

- I do, Gaara, I do!-

But what you meant, it was true. He really changed, deeply from inside and he even looked diffrent outside, more healthy and more calm.

He was truly growing, and so did all of the love inside him.

---

A/N :

If you'd like, listen to "Akuma no ko" while you read, it feels so... I don't have right words.

I had ti on repeat while writng and it feels *cheeif kiss*.

Enjoy!

[thesoundofanicefall]

shinoa is so out of character in recent chapters don't you think so? as if takaya wants to force yuunoa canon now 🙄🙄🙄

Hey dear anon sorry for the late respons.

..... Mmmm.... Ahh... How can I explain really...

Look first of all this is my oponion ok? But I really can't see her out of character?! She is in love so what she does is actually a reflect of her feelings.

All girls are actually like this as I am a girl and you must be a girl too (if not then sorry I don't want you to feel bad) and well as a girl I can actually understand Shinoa's reactions.

She is around a boy she loves (actually the first love of her life) so she is acting girlish around her crush and I really can't see it something weird?! Cause lol this was the same and is still the same about me myself too like when you love someone you'll try to make them look at you and pay attention to you all girls and boys are the same in this case the one who loves someone and instead of trying to be good and gentle around the one they love, try to shit on them are....well I don't know sick or stupid?! That's totally my personal oponion dear anon but...like this is something natural we can see everyday in real life and even around us like don't you have a friend who has a crush on someone else and try to be girlish, cute, beautiful or whatever around them so can gain their attention?! Because I have many friends like this around like oh my god what am I talking about this is just real life and too easy to can understand🤦‍♀️😂🙌

And about Yuunoa dear anon look again this is my oponion and I said this million times before too that I don't give a damn about any ships even gureshin in general (I just have a super care over guremahi one as the biggest ANTIES and HATERS of this ship) but generally this manga is a Shonen one first of all and second if Kagami REALLY wants to make Yuunoa canon at the end or at least give it more chance then he is actually doing a good job by making it to move forward slowly?! Like what did you expect? Did you expect Kagami to make Yuunoa canon by a sudden kiss and then boom!! They are adults and having cute children?! Sure no he is building this ship slowly and slowly and I am sure we will have more Yuunoa in future chapters too but not as odd and fast reactions towards each others but a slow motivation to can reach to a good potantional at the end so he can make it canon or not.

But dear anon and dear followers please don't make me to talk about ships in this story that much cause I generally don't care for non of them! Sure I have my ships too and I do enjoy them but I never care about them to the point I want to think about the whole story with just my favoriet ship and all so hope you can understand this case and will also respect this too (sure again ofc the only time I may stay against a ship or even argue with others is just guremahi ship and the fact how much this is toxic and all and the other time I can have arguments is when I see people shitting on a good man and writer like Kagami sensei that's all but in other cases and in one word: I don't give a fuck about any ships lol end of story)

Hope this was helpful dear anon

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Don’t Leave Me

I wrote this when I was supposed to be studying 😂😂 This is the longest shit I've ever written!! 💃 I'm improving, l guess 😁😂

Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: ansgt, sadness(a lil bit), language, (you guessed right, my shitty writing) 💕

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y/n was the only reason Ransom was there, at his grandfather’s birthday. He didn’t even want to see his family’s faces. They always find something to annoy him. It’s not like he doesn’t say anything back to them, Man he comes back with more rude and sarcastic answers than them. But still, for him, they are the vile ones. 

And that’s why he was sitting at the corner away from everyone with a drink in his hand watching his wife laughing with Meg and Marta. He was sitting peacefully until his grandfather took him to his office to talk about something important. That’s when everything went wrong. His calm behavior, his mood, everything spoiled.

y/n surely did notice him going with his grandfather with annoyed expressions. She chuckled and shook her head knowing that after some time all of them would be hearing both granddad’s and grandson's yelling at each other.

This is their love-hate relationship, Harlan would always tell Ransom that, how ransom should have to be responsible especially now that he is married and Ransom would get angry how you can’t tell him what to do, you can’t tell him nothing.

But that doesn’t mean they hate each other. Harlan would always talk about Ransom with Marta, how he worried about that boy and see the younger him in Ransom. On the other hand, Ransom surely doesn’t share his feelings with anyone but with his wife, he made an exception. She knew that whenever they had a fight Ransom couldn’t sleep that night, he would feel guilty because of his harsh words towards Harlan cuz he got carried away with their fight.

And that’s what happening right now, after a few moments the family heard their yelling and then ransom getting out of the house without even looking at his wife leaving her there. She didn’t go out after him, thinking he just got out to clear his mind but when she heard his beamer started and gone, she knew this time that shit was serious. 

Everyone was looking at her as if wanting to know what she would do now. She inhaled and straight went to Harlan’s office shutting the door behind her. 

“What happened now Harlan,” she asked in an irritated tone. “Nothing, just the old shit you know” “Harlan I know this is not just about him being careless or something. Please tell me the truth, he just left me here. I know this is something serious.” please tell me before he does something stupid, you know him Harlan.” y/n begged.

Harlan just stared at y/n then said “I Just cut him off my will.””not just him everyone else too.” he said calmly. “You what!? You cut everyone off” 

“This has to be done y/n. It’s gonna make them grow on their own. It’s gonna make him respon..” 

“You know I don't care about that, I just know my husband is out there roaming around in madness, you know his anger and madness, you shouldn’t just tell him everything like that. I just hope he won’t do anything stupid.” y/n sighed and went out of the house needing fresh air. 

After some time she heard something from the entrance, it was just dark so I couldn't see what it was. But then again she heard a sound like someone was out there. She went that way and saw someone’s back. When that person went towards the wall of the house and started to climb it, she gasped knowing it was her husband climbing the wall as he was some sort of thief or some criminal. She watched him going inside the house through the window which looks like some sort of secretive door or something.

She knew how he acts stupid during his anger seasons but seeing him like this, entering his grand father’s house as a thief shocked her. 

She quickly got inside the house too, everyone was busy bickering about something so nobody noticed her. She went upstairs, towards Harlan's room and then there she saw her husband.

He was in Harlan's room, doing something with his medical bag. A syringe and in his hand.

“Ransom what are you doing here” he got startled and dropped the medicine inside the bag. 

He turned towards her, he was scared but somehow managed to keep his expressions calm.

“What are you doing here?” he said like he was angry. She raised her eyebrow “really!? I should be the one asking you that, why are you here, you left about 20 minutes ago remember?” “what brings you here again, in Harlan's bedroom and by climbing the wall?” she questioned. 

He sighed “nothing that concerns you, just go downstairs and don’t” “what the fuck Ransom, you sound like it’s normal? You climb the wall to enter the house, going into your grandfather's room doing something with his medicines, I know you are mad at him for cutting you out but what the hell is all of this?” she spat.

“You know?” “of course I know, I asked him after you left me there because you were so angry that you just forgot your wife” she taunted. “Oh c'mon, I didn't forget you” he scoffed. “I just had to do this before coming back to you” “and what is this? What are you doing here Ransom?” she went near him looking at the bag in front of him. When he didn’t answer she took both injection bottles and then looked at him with horrified expressions. 

“Were you switching them both?” she whispered like she was scared of the answer. Ransom didn’t say anything she made her angrier “tell me, Ransom, were you switching these.” she yelled, showing him morphine and the other bottle.

“Yes, I...I had to be this sweetheart for us. That is our money. He is giving everything to her. I can’t let that happen” she was just staring at him listening to his rambling, she couldn’t believe this was her husband, she was living with him for 3 years. No matter how much of an asshole he is but this is beyond the limit, killing his grandfather just cuz he is giving his nurse, not his so-called vile family. 

“We are going home right now,” she said, wiping her tears and fixing Harlan's bag like before. Then taking out the syringe from ransom’s hand. “No! I won’t go home until I finish this. I have to do the..” he was cut off by her slap on his face. “Wake up ransom!! This is not you, get out of the house just like you came in. then go to your car. I’ll meet you there. And if you try to do this again Ransom, I can assure you I can be more aggressive than you.” with that she just stormed out the room without glancing towards her husband.

~ 

After saying goodbye to everyone y/n sat in the car. She didn’t acknowledge him, the whole ride towards home went in silence. Ransom tried to talk to her but just got ignored. 

When they both reached their house she just went straight to her room. 

After some time she came downstairs seeing ransom sitting on the couch, his face in his hands. She didn’t want to talk to him but knew she had to.she just couldn't control herself and went towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder, he looked up with his red eyes due to crying. And that just broke her heart more. She sat beside him and he suddenly hugged her body, his face in her chest and arms around her waist. But she didn’t hug him back.

“I’m so sorry baby, I know what I was doing, was horrific. I didn’t even know I was planning to murder my grandfather. I know I’m not a good person and I don’t deserve you or any happiness in the world but please baby, don’t leave me. I can’t live without you.” 

She started to cry at his words, he was thinking she was going to leave him, didn’t he know that just like him she also can’t live without him. And no matter how much bad person he can be, she’ll always arrive to spoil his evil plans just like today, she’ll always slap that madness inside of him until it vanishes forever. 

She felt him shaking in her arms, crying again. “Hey hey! Look at me.” she took his face in her hands. “I’m not going to leave you OK… what you did was indeed horrible and you did break my heart but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you. I’ll always be with you and we are gonna deal with your shit together. Just like you, I can't live without you too.” “I don't need Harlan's money, I don’t need the expensive gift you give me. Ransom for me you are enough. What I need is your promise that you’ll help me, help me to help you, to make this madness, these horrific thoughts go away, will you?” 

He looked at him like she was some sort of blessing towards him, he couldn’t believe she wasn’t leaving her “whatever you’ll say, I’ll do it, sweetheart, just forgive and give me another chance.” he said happily and gave her another hug. And with that she knew the first step to help him, taking him to a therapist….

[thesoundofanicefall]

I think Guren knows exactly what's going on and I have a feeling he's going to do the same with Kimizuki and Yoichi to use the demons against Shika.

Hey dear anon sorry for the late respons.

That's also possible too that Guren also knows what is happening but there's a far more high chance that he doesn't know because of who Saito is.

Saito clearly showed us that everything directly or undirectly is his plan and like what he said on World Resurrection at 19 volume 2 chapter 1 to Guren, Guren is nothing but his puppet too also Mahiru doesn't give a shit about Shinya and the others according to what she said herself directly on World Resurrection at 19 volume 2 chapters 1 and 4 so literary non of them doesn't care about Guren and his family and his feelings like at all so that's a high very high chance that Mahiru and Saito are still working together and Guren really doesn't know anything.

And dear anon I don't want to sound rude but I feel that you are a Guren anti so if you are one please go and don't waste my time.

I don't want to I really don't want to waste my time over people who pretends to be asleep ok? This is completely clear far more than a bright sun in a clear sky that Shikama doji and his black demons are bad ones.

Guren can't use the black demons but he wants to destroy the black demons along with Shikama doji.

Guren literary wants to save Mika and Yuu both from that insane oh so beloved father of them whethere you like it or not so yeah if the black demons will change their sides they can be forgiven and can be save but if not then they have to be destroy along with Shikama that's all.

I will talk about this case more later in an analysis/theory post soon so if you want to know more of an answer please wait

And yeah if you are not a Guren anti then I'm sorry but if you are please just don't waste my time ok? I really don't want to have a useless conversation and discussion with you at all.

Thanks for your understanding.