#Crowley MacCleod
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my-n4me-is-agent · 11 months ago
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Why is it that I will like 1 THING on my fyp and suddenly my entire feed is said thing? Like yes I like that but I’ve also liked 10 million other things that I want more of.
So I’m going to take this into my own hands, in regular tumblr fashion…
“Dads on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days.”
Supernatural fans come find me.
P.s. Bring pie.
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sofloodmelikeatlantic · 2 years ago
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What if Crowley becoming king of crossroads began as a joke?
Like all these crossroads demons knowing him as, Fergus "sold his soul for a penis" MacCleod.
So they just joke around that he sold it for best thing. And when Crowley dies, goes to hell, they place a crown of fucking penises upon his head and say, "you are king now"
And it just starts as a joke.
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vamp-doll-diva · 7 years ago
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Forbidden Love - A Supernatural Fanfiction
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Mina Winchester has loved Crowley from the moment she first laid eyes upon him. Crowley has loved Mina from the beginning, too. When Crowley gains some humanity and realizes he loves her, with Mina's confession, their romance begins. What will they do if her brothers find out? And what will Crowley do to keep Mina out of the world of hunting?
here @ fanfiction.net
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coppicefics · 4 years ago
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Masked Omens: Prologue
Read the fic here!
[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.
Image 2 - A scrapbook with two newspaper cuttings pasted in. Each has a date handwritten by it; the first reads ‘Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009′. The second reads ‘Toffley Courier, 10th August, 2009′. Full text transcription below cut. End ID.]
Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009
HIDDEN GEM: O’LEARY’S LATEST STUNS CRITICS Masterful casting highlights themes of innocence and fear against a background of domestic drama. [”What do you care, David? Maybe I’d rather he dream of monsters than wake alone, like me.” ~ Jane Winsome, Act 2, Scene 3] RUMOURS OF Colleen O’Leary’s retirement have been greatly exaggerated. While it’s true that in recent years her name has been conspicuously absent from the glossy playbills and bright posters of the West End, the Dublin-born playwright still has plenty to say. Her latest offering, Hidden, is on the surface a simple domestic drama about an upper middle class family with a young son. It follows their trials and tribulations through a single fraught year as ten year old Matthew (played by the talented young team of Warlock Dowling, Gert Johnson and Adam Young in rotation) questions his relationship with his parents, his nightmares, and ultimately the world around him. Anita Lovett is both adoring and adorable in her role as Matthew's mother Jane, while Oscar Williams fulfils the role of a baffled, slightly distant father as David Winsome. The cast is rounded out by Anthony Crowley, making a return to acting in the role of Ashton Storeth, Matthew's babysitter. What might have been a fairly pedestrian premise – a child becomes unsettled as his parents fail to find time for him – is elevated to new and sinister levels by Crowley's double role as both minder and monster; Matthew is plagued by nightmares of a dark creature that dwells beneath his bed, a creature that seems to have a lot in common with the mysterious Storeth. As Matthew's nightmares increase in both frequency and severity, strange events unfolding in the household lead the audience to question just how much of what they're seeing on stage is real. The script seems to demand introspection of its audience; how much can we ever really know about the world we live in or the people we invite into our homes, even trusting them with our most precious treasures, our children? And yet, ultimately, Storeth and the Nightmare have more meaningful interactions with young Matthew than either of his parents. It's a thought-provoking piece with an ending that must be seen and not spoiled. All in all, a triumphant return to the stage for both O'Leary and Crowley, who seem to have come determined to prove themselves and done so admirably. Hidden is now booking until September 30th this year; for venue information and to book tickets, visit www.hiddenuktour.com.
Lots Donated To Charity Fundraiser WITH PREPARATIONS well underway for the Anna and Eve Foundation’s upcoming auction, it seems there are still more celebrities prepared to offer up their most prized possessions for a good cause. The latest announcement of items going under the hammer includes: The upright piano played in the drawing room scene in The Grasswater Affair, kindly donated by Celestireel A flaming sword used in the original magic act of The Amazing Mr Fell, as seen on last year's Royal Variety Performance, with personal instruction in its use from the magician himself A signed drumskin and drumsticks used by Queen drummer, Roger Taylor A Nike Total 90 Omni football signed by every member of this year’s league-topping Tadfield FC squad The stunning faux-diamond necklace worn by Angela Crowley in the 2003 film More than a Memory, contributed by Pace Productions (newspaper cuts off here)
An advert for the Four Horse Inn is also cut off at the bottom of the cutting.
Toffley Courier, 10th August 2009
Toffley Gate Protests Planned [Uriel Scrolle, Reporter] When Lawrence Richmond was elected as MP for Toffley South, it was partly on the strength of his campaign promise to invest in building affordable housing for local people. Sure enough, within a year of his election, his flagship development had been completed. Having opened its doors in 2006, Toffley Gate is a towering edifice of concrete and glass, boasting over 300 individual homes, most of which are luxury apartments – but many of them still stand empty. Now local housing campaigners are calling for lower rents to be imposed on these unoccupied units in a bid to open them up to local people who cannot afford the current rates. (Continued below.) [Image: A large, modern block of flats in yellowed black-and-white newsprint. End ID.] [Caption] The Toffley Gate development, pictured shortly after completion. Local housing activists say the affordable housing they were promised has never been provided. Photo: Daniel Brubaker on Unsplash. [End caption.]
Local Theatre Reports Record Sales for O'Leary's 'Hidden' Masterpiece: Former 'Kilcridhe' star steals show with moving performance [Citron Deux-Cheval, Arts Critic] Greater Deville’s Inferion Theatre has long struggled to fill seats as the rise of commuting in the town has left residents with far les [sic] time and money to spend on the town’s recreational offerings. It relies, therefore, on the continued patronage of those who are able to attend regularly, and on the rare piece of theatre that causes its audiences to insist friends and family go along and watch, too. This week, it reported its highest ticket sales for a single show in over ten years for the Saturday night showing of Hidden, a new play from veteran playwright Colleen O’Leary. Naturally, I had to go along and see what all the fuss was about, and I was glad I did. Hidden is a deep, dark exploration of the psyche masquarading [sic] as a simple drama about two unhappily married parents and their neglected child. While the story of David and Jane Winsome (Oscar Williams and Anita Lovett respectively) and their strained marriage is compelling, with painful betrayals and soft, poignant moments aplenty, it’s their son Matthew who steals the show, along with his au pair, Ashton Storeth, played to perfection by Anthony Crowley (once a familiar face on our television screens as heart-throb Father Jacob MacCleod in Kilcridhe). On the night I attended, Matthew Winsome was portrayed by eleven year-old Gert Johnson, one of three children who take turns in the role. For such a young boy to take on such a complex role is a very tall order, but Johnson more than rose to the challenge, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the mix of fear and adoration with which Matthew regards Ashton. In scenes with his mother and father, Matthew is quiet and respectful, almost withdrwan - but opposite Crowley, who plays the double roles of Ashton and The Nightmare, he becomes expressive and unspoken, loud in his anger, his fear and, yes, his love. Crowley, too, gives an incredible double-edged performance as warm, gentle Ashton and the silent, sinister presence that lurks beneath his charge’s bed - perhaps drawing on his own inner demons to lend authenticity to the role. Hidden is a play that leaves much open to interpretation: whether The Nightmare is real or imagined, what, if anything, it has to do with Ashton, and what the surprising ending means for the family. It’s a play to get you thinking, and I highly recommend you go along. Hidden is playing at the Infernion until August 15th. Contact the Box Office on 01632 496055 to book.
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ao3feed-destiel · 5 years ago
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Down Comes the Night
Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
by WeAreTheLuckyOnes
The raven that follows Dean back to his cave one winter morning is just another bird – albeit one that pecks at his ruff and seems to understand human speech. By the time Dean’s involved with hunters, curses, archangels, and possibly Armageddon, he’s regretting thinking that the raven was ‘just another’ anything… but he could never regret meeting Castiel.
Words: 23380, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Down Comes the Night
Fandoms: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod, Crowley (Supernatural), Crowley's Hellhound Juliet, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Kaia Nieves, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Antonia Bevell
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Minor Sam Winchester/Rowena MacCleod, Minor Jody Mills/Donna Hanscum - Relationship, Minor Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves - Relationship
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Creatures, Canon-Typical Violence, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Explicit Sexual Content, explicit violence, Blood and Gore, Implied/Reference Character Death, Major Character Injury, Graphic Violence, Shapeshifter Castiel, Werewolf Dean, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Frotting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Riding
Link: https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
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rosewhipped22 · 5 years ago
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Supernatural Top 10  Kickass Women
Only 55% currently dead!
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#10 Linda Tran 
She deserves to make this list simply for punching Crowley right in the face. Something we’ve all wanted to do at some point. Plus, you get points for poppin’ out a prophet and hiring a witch off of craigslist
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#9 Kaia Nieves
Listen I just have so many questions about Kaia.  I wanted to know more about her storyline from the get-go. And what about dark Kaia? are they the same? are they different? have these questions already been answered and I just need to rewatch s14? and how did she learn all those badass spear moves?? You know the ones I’m talking about. She was already impressive enough with the dreamwalking skills but she only got better from there.  
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#8 Donna Hanscum 
Does this doughnut loving officer of the law belong on the list? You betcha! She’s a totally gorgeous badass sweetheart. Don’t let the kindness fool you, she will hurt you. 
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#7 Billie
No one says no to the Winchesters and lives and Billie was no exception (way to go Cas) fortunately she’s back and better than ever as DEATH. And I’m loving the new look, the scythe, everything just perfection.  
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#6 Joanna Beth Harvelle
Sure, Dean took that gun off her, but she took it right back because this woman’s got spunk in spades.  Also in my book, anyone who turns down the Dean Winchester smolder gets mad props.
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#5 Mary Winchester
You may not agree with me, but you’re wrong. I had trouble picking from all the badass Mama Winchester gifs because there are just that many. Punching the devil? check. Punching Nick aka actual-human-waste-and-incessant-screentime-suck? check. Don’t forget she was the original hunter in the family, not to mention a great lover of the Impala.  
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#4 Jody Mills
Now Jody I can relate to. Pizza eater. Wine drinker. Netflix binger. She hunts, but she’s still got to pay the bills with the equally kickass day job. Sure, she’s got a tragic backstory I can’t compete with, but girl works hard and plays hard. She’s had the heartbreak and still tried to put herself back out there. And if a crappy date with Crowley isn’t scraping the bottom of the dating barrel I don’t want to know what is. Total bamf.
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#3 Eileen Leahy
I still need more Eileen in my life, okay? This fearless woman had her own revenge story to see through to the end. She’s been hunting alone for years, she’s an amazing shot, and a legacy of the Men of Letters. Capturing Sam Winchester’s heart isn’t enough to get you on this list, but damn she did that too.
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#2 Rowena MacCleod
I used to love to hate Rowena, she was a fun stylish baddie, but she dropped the villainous gowns and magicked her way into my heart by being a complete badass and friend to the Winchesters. Now it’s hard to imagine their little team without her and her fabulous eye makeup.  A fellow lucifer hater and a true queen.
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#1 Charlie Bradbury
That’s it. That’s the whole argument.
This top ten list is part of my inconsistent countdown  to the 15th final season of Supernatural. Find more here. 
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ao3feedjodydonna · 5 years ago
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Down Comes the Night
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
by WeAreTheLuckyOnes
The raven that follows Dean back to his cave one winter morning is just another bird – albeit one that pecks at his ruff and seems to understand human speech. By the time Dean’s involved with hunters, curses, archangels, and possibly Armageddon, he’s regretting thinking that the raven was ‘just another’ anything… but he could never regret meeting Castiel.
Words: 23380, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Down Comes the Night
Fandoms: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod, Crowley (Supernatural), Crowley's Hellhound Juliet, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Kaia Nieves, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Antonia Bevell
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Minor Sam Winchester/Rowena MacCleod, Minor Jody Mills/Donna Hanscum - Relationship, Minor Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves - Relationship
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Creatures, Canon-Typical Violence, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Explicit Sexual Content, explicit violence, Blood and Gore, Implied/Reference Character Death, Major Character Injury, Graphic Violence, Shapeshifter Castiel, Werewolf Dean, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Frotting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Riding
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
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ao3feed-crowley · 5 years ago
Text
Down Comes the Night
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
by WeAreTheLuckyOnes
The raven that follows Dean back to his cave one winter morning is just another bird – albeit one that pecks at his ruff and seems to understand human speech. By the time Dean’s involved with hunters, curses, archangels, and possibly Armageddon, he’s regretting thinking that the raven was ‘just another’ anything… but he could never regret meeting Castiel.
Words: 23380, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Down Comes the Night
Fandoms: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod, Crowley (Supernatural), Crowley's Hellhound Juliet, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Kaia Nieves, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Antonia Bevell
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Minor Sam Winchester/Rowena MacCleod, Minor Jody Mills/Donna Hanscum - Relationship, Minor Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves - Relationship
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Creatures, Canon-Typical Violence, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Explicit Sexual Content, explicit violence, Blood and Gore, Implied/Reference Character Death, Major Character Injury, Graphic Violence, Shapeshifter Castiel, Werewolf Dean, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Frotting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Riding
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
0 notes
ao3feed-castiel · 5 years ago
Text
Down Comes the Night
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
by WeAreTheLuckyOnes
The raven that follows Dean back to his cave one winter morning is just another bird – albeit one that pecks at his ruff and seems to understand human speech. By the time Dean’s involved with hunters, curses, archangels, and possibly Armageddon, he’s regretting thinking that the raven was ‘just another’ anything… but he could never regret meeting Castiel.
Words: 23380, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Down Comes the Night
Fandoms: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod, Crowley (Supernatural), Crowley's Hellhound Juliet, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Patience Turner, Kaia Nieves, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Antonia Bevell
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Minor Sam Winchester/Rowena MacCleod, Minor Jody Mills/Donna Hanscum - Relationship, Minor Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves - Relationship
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Creatures, Canon-Typical Violence, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Explicit Sexual Content, explicit violence, Blood and Gore, Implied/Reference Character Death, Major Character Injury, Graphic Violence, Shapeshifter Castiel, Werewolf Dean, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Frotting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Riding
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/35FPRjG
0 notes
coppicefics · 4 years ago
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Masked Omens: Week Five
[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’. 
Image 2 - A page from the Entertainment section of the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 23rd January 2021. Full image description and transcript below cut. End ID.]
Read the fic here!
The Capital Herald - Saturday, 23rd January 2021 Entertainment, page 15
Top section: Stream of Consciousness: Shows To Make You Think A whole host of great documentaries, old and new, have just been added to streaming services Who doesn't love a good documentary? You can learn all sorts of things, and you don't have to do any of the research for yourself. Over the last couple of weeks, loads of people seem to have been tuning into the wealth of documentaries available on various streaming services; here are a few I particularly enjoyed. Green Planet (2020) is not your standard nature documentary; while there are some extremely cute shots of animals (including gorillas, whales, and giant squid) the main focus is on sustainable practices people are experimenting with in all sorts of industries and contexts, and the way they allow local wildlife to flourish. It's thought-provoking stuff. We're As Folk (2019) takes a look at the contemporary folk movement, interviewing figures from the second British revival right through to the present day; contributors include Seth Lakeman, Frank Turner, Anathema and Bellowhead. With folk-festival anecdotes aplenty, the documentary explores the intricacies of the genre and culminates in all the contributors performing a once-in-a-lifetime rendition of 'She Moved Through The Fair'. Gadget If You Can (2015) might be a little outdated now, but that's what makes it such a compelling watch. From watches that tell the time in 21 capital cities concurrently to hoverboards that actually, well, hover, this is a fascinating look at the new devices that seemed to be just on the horizon when it was released more than five years ago. Some have since appeared; some remain pipedreams. All are interesting! Making Fast Friends (2012) is the oldest documentary on this list, and the narrowest in scope. It was released alongside the SEGA charity single 'Fast Friends' and gives us a behind the scenes look at what happened when Sonic the Hedgehog teamed up with a whole bunch of children's TV presenters to make the record. Although largely factual in nature, it does also feature animated 'interviews' with Sonic and Knuckles, so it's entirely suitable for watching with your family. And P-White fans, in particular, will not want to miss this a second time around. A War Without War (2021), by contrast, is both up-to-the-minute and extremely disturbing to watch. It is composed of a mixture of expert analysis of the situation developing on the ground in Celestan and grim footage allegedly smuggled out of the country by fleeing residents. Moreover, with more episodes promised, it forces the viewer to acknowledge what is happening as the country breaks apart, and asks us the difficult question: can you have a war without war? Dinosaurs: The Punchline (2013) is frequently mistaken for a mockumentary thanks to its tongue-in-cheek title. It is, in fact, a thoughtful exploration of how religious groups respond to apparent conflicts between scientific facts and the tenets of their faith. Without shying away from the realities of science as we know it, this film takes a surprisingly sensitive approach to investigating how science and religion intersect in the modern world. By The Numbers (2018) looks back at the history of the televised National Lottery, along with its competitors on other channels and the entertainment chosen to appear directly after it. Featuring clips and interviews with stars from Marjorie Potts aka Telepathic Tracy, whose show aired after the draw for over a decade, to Marvin O. Bagman, whose sports-based quiz show had, at the time of the documentary’s release, the corresponding Channel 4 slot. It’s not groundbreaking, but it is very entertaining. CITRON DEUX-CHEVAL Have I missed any amazing documentaries you think I should be talking about? Drop me an email at [email protected] or leave a comment on our website and I might feature your recommendations in a future issue.
Centre left: Memory Lane: Kilcridhe Now there’s a vicar I’d have loved to meet at the altar Ask any male-attracted person of a certain age – well, my age and up, really – if they remember Kilcridhe, and you'll be met with flushed cheeks and a glassy expression. We remember Kilcridhe, all right – or perhaps it would be fairer to say that we remember Father Jacob MacCleod. It's hard to believe that heartthrob Jacob was Anthony Crowley's first major role on television, and harder still to believe that he was also one of his last. The show ran for only two six-episode series, between 2005 and 2006, but in those twelve hours I think it's fair to say a fair few of us fell irrevocably in love. Kilcridhe was named for the fictitious Scottish village where it was set, and largely revolved around the goings-on of the local church and its new minister. Much of the series' drama centred around Father MacCleod's ongoing attempts to fill the pews, which saw him trying everything from hosting a bake sale – for which he ended up baking everything himself – to arranging a community talent show, with predictably bizarre results. But during the course of these adventures, each episode also introduced us to one or more of Kilcridhe's residents. We got a glimpse into the little struggles and joys of their lives – most of which quickly became Jacob's struggles and joys, too. My main memory of this show is that it was pretty. Not just Jacob, but everything about it, from the location they chose for the exterior shots, to the tone added in post-production; everything was just slightly more saturated and colourful than real life, not enough to be jarring but enough to give the whole thing a strangely dreamlike feel. In fact, as Jacob remarked as he prepared to leave for Edinburgh at the end of series one (not knowing if he would return or if the show would be cancelled), “leaving [Kilcridhe] feels like waking from a dream, like going back to reality somehow”. It was, perhaps, for the best that Kilcridhe was cancelled after only two series. Shows originally envisioned as limited series rarely keep their charm past a second extension, and the central actor was to encounter personal problems not long after the end of the show. That's not to say that a revival couldn't work, perhaps with a completely new protagonist. But Father Jacob MacCleod lives on in the hearts of his many fans, smiling that enigmatic smile of his, and when that's not enough, there's always online fanfiction. So much fanfiction. SARAH JEUNE Memory Lane is our regular feature, looking back at the books, shows and films of yesteryear through a nostalgic lens. Do you miss something you’d like to see featured? Just send the show name (plus channel and airdates if you know them) in an email to: [email protected] - your prayers might just be answered!
Centre right: Correspondent’s Corner Stop talking about it Anathema is making waves again as she does the talk-show circuit to promote her new album, Narrative Devices. It's a very pretty album from a very lovely girl, but she does keep getting hung up on one point. Every time somebody describes her music as country, she interrupts to tell them it's folk. Well, I'm no music expert, but even I know that folk is a very European genre, and the United States' equivalent is country, or country and western music, to give it its full name, and to continue to argue to the contrary is simply courting controversy for controversy's sake. It is unbecoming of a young lady – even, or perhaps especially, a young lady with Anathema's obvious talent – to continue to argue with her elders on the subject, and even to correct the likes of Graham Norton and Giles Brandreth. These sage bastions of broadcasting deserve more respect, and they couldn't be more gracious in accepting their 'mistake'. But surely a young musician in the first flush of success should take the time to learn about what she's actually doing? It doesn't seem very much to ask. It’s not entirely her fault, of course; the youth of today are given far too much freedom by their parents and, on top of that, are often propelled to disproportionate success with no chance to prepare for it. Is it any wonder that it all goes to their heads? But there is no excuse for not making an effort to keep their egos in check and defer to their betters on matters of terminology and best practice. Naturally, we all hope that Anathema will enjoy a long and successful career making the music she enjoys the most and , more importantly, music we can all enjoy too. And I also hope that she will, eventually, acquire the humility so rarely found in young people these days and accept that she does not always know best. If she listens to the counsel of older and wiser heads than hers, she might even learn something. ANDY SANDALPHON What can’t they do? If there's one thing that's becoming apparent with every passing week of The Masked Singer UK, it's that celebrities are no longer to content to stay in their lane. No, these multi-talented marvels seem determined to push themselves to the limit in every possible field. So far, we’ve seen sergeants become singers, rugby players become rockers, doctors become divas and authors become, er, audible. And with weeks still to go in this competition, we still have eight masked celebrities to guess. Eight people whose day jobs probably don’t include getting on stage and belting out pop standards are still waiting to impress us with talents that aren’t even their thing. I mean, if I could sing and dance like the contestants on the show, you can bet your life I’d be making a living from it. It would be my number one talent, and I’d be rubbish at anything else, because most of us only get one main skill. Not these jammy gits, though. For them, this is a sideline. It's not just The Masked Singer, of course – from proving their talent for trivia on Pointless Celebrities and their wordplay wisdom on Celebrity Catchphrase to demonstrating their culinary qualities on Celebrity Masterchef and The Great Celebrity Bake Off, it seems that wherever you look someone is adding a new string to their bow. Being a phenomenally talented actor, singer, or footballer is all well and good, but more and more stars are now keen to show us that they really can do anything and everything. And why shouldn't they? It's phenomenally entertaining television to watch. And for those of us who sometimes feel inadequate compared to our famous idols, it can be very reassuring to watch, for example, a comedian weeping into his cupcake mix on Bake Off or an Oscar nominee fall on her face on Dancing On Ice. When they do well, it's amazing; when they do badly, it's life-affirming. That said, I've been blown away by the talent of the contestants on The Masked Singer this series. It's so inspirational, in fact, that I might take up watercolours. EDWARD BIGGS Bottom right (in blue box): Citron’s Quick Picks Fast favourites from Citron Deux-Cheval Look: Sea Change by Hastur LaVista There's never been a journey to to the top quite like P-White's. This authorised biography charts a course from children's presenter to global superstar through interviews, pictures and anecdotes. While the research sometimes seems a little slapdash, the story at the heart of the book is more than interesting enough to hold it together. And since it's authorised, Maputi themself has contributed plenty of private insights and observations. [Image description: A book, its cover featuring a blue-green gradient with black, dripping lines spilling across it. The title reads ‘Sea Change’. End ID.] Listen: Narrative Devices by Anathema Anathema's first album was well-received both within the folk community and beyond it. Now her second album, backed up by an obvious increase in resources, looks set to enjoy similar mainstream success, and deservedly so. The theme this time seems to be the act of telling stories, but it's also a story in itself. You'll have heard the singles, but it takes on new meaning when you play it in order! [Image description: An album cover featuring hands holding a book. The words “Anathema” and “Narrative Devices” are printed on it. End ID.] Laugh: Newtral Stance by AutoTuna on YouTube It's not the first time beleaguered commentator Newton Pulsifer has had his words edited into a supercut. It's not even the first time his frequent disagreements with the VAR have been autotuned – including by YouTube user AutoTuna. But this new edition adds an extra dimension in the form of a flat, robotic voice duetting – and duelling – with the frustrated human, taking the hilarity to a whole new level! [Image description: A screenshot of a young woman wearing a call centre headset (specifically, the woman who cold-calls Crowley in Good Omens and gets Hastur instead). She looks extremely bored. End ID.]
Advertisement, bottom right: IS THIS YOUR CARD? [Image Description: Two business cards with a white-to-yellow gradient, overlapping so that they are slightly fanned out. Printed on the left-hand side of each is ‘This is to certify The Amazing [blank] as a [blank] training under Mr A.Z. Fell.‘ The one behind is filled in with ‘Your Name-’ and ‘Sorcer-’. The front card is filled in in a more child-friendly font, with ‘Your Name Here’ and ‘Junior Magician’. Below this is space for a start and expiry date, filled in with ‘08/20′ and ‘08/21′ respectively. On the right-hand side of the card, a logo shows a rabbit emerging from an upturned top hat, and below it are the words ‘Harry’s Junior Magic Academy’. The word ‘Junior’ is in the same child-friendly font as before. End ID.] IT COULD BE. Membership is open to under 12s and 13-18 year-olds at www.harrys-magic.com
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