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devilbat · 5 years ago

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The Invisible Man

A/n: another to my classic movie monster. If you haven’t read the others here is:

WolfMan, The exorcist, Creature from the Black Lagoon,

Dr. Jekyll and Mistress Hyde

Thomas Sharpe x reader

Warning: murder, longing, dub-con, smut mention of blood. Slightly kidnapping, twisted game and Lucille.

You are cordially invited to a haunted murder mystery dinner. Please dress for thee occasion, that has been provided by your host. A driver will fetch you exactly at 6 o'clock pm. You will then arrive by 8 o'clock sharp, the night of all hallows eve, at the beautiful old Allder Hall. Please make sure bring appropriate attire suitable for overnight stays If wished.

Invitation was on thick antique white parchment. Addressed to you. The mail carrier had brought it attached to a large black box with red ribbon tied into a neat bow. The box in question held the most elaborate and beautiful victorian era corseted dress. In a deep blue color, black lace laid nicely along it. You had started to questioned on how your host know exactly what size you were. Let along the shoe size. As you pulled those out of the box along with a beautiful matching mask. The covered around your eyes a long silk ribbon attached to the side.

You stood outside of your apartment building five minutes before six. The cool air blow around you. Fall leaves danced about, while you waits for the Whoever was arriving to pick you up. You shivered, it felt like the temperature had dropped suddenly. Then you heard what sounded like hooves on the street cement. You looked down the dark road as two lager horses appeared pulling a carriage. That looked to be old yet sturdy. A man dressed in all black pulled at the reins stopping the massive black beasts. Hooves stomped as they stood there waiting for their next command.

"Miss y/l/n!" The mysterious man spoke never once looking down at you. You nodded and swallowed hard. Everything in your body told you to tune back. But as such when you reserved the invitation, you were curious what this was all about. Beside the dress had to cost a lot for you not to waste it. The man jumped off the bench that had held him. He then walked over, opening the door to the carriage. Offering his hand to you.

"I'm going to assume this is for the party?" You question a bit. The force inside you made your body move. He nodded as you took his hand.

"Will be but a cold ride. There are blanks inside to keep you warm." He stated. Keeping his head down. Lifting your dress a bit to let your foot hit the step up to the carriage. The man helped you in, shutting the door behind you.

To say that your ride was a smooth one, would be an understatement. Being this was your first time. But your ass would be feeling it later. You can now appreciate the shocks in your car. The carriage man was right it was freezing. Throwing all the musty old blankets they had over you, to keep you from being a popsicle. The carriage creaked and groan a long the way.

Allerdale hall was slowly coming into view. The lights from the mansion were seen from the gates. Dusk had set on the hills of crimson peak. Red clay road led to the house. You now understood why it was called crimson peak. It seem to have no growth every thing seemed to be dead. Just red diet and clay. The carriage stoped just before the stairs the man that drove the horses had opened your door once more helping you out. The doors to the rickety old mansion were open, light from the grand fireplace glowed bright when you stepped through the double doors. You were in awe of the massive house. It looked as it did in the photos you've seen when you decided to look the place up. It was like it never chance.

"You must be miss y/l/n." A man approached his deep velvet voice made you shiver. His hand extended to you. "I'm Sir Thomas Sharpe, your host for the evening." This was interesting, you knew that everyone would be in character as the evening went on. You had your instructions. You were to play one of the infamous Thomas Sharpe wife. But you did not know if you would be the one of many to be “murdered.” The one thing was with this man he wasn't dress to be seen. He was of course dressed as what Sir Sharpe had worn, but he was covered in white bandages over his face down to his neck and ducked under his collar. Dark Circular glass coving his eyes well. His hands were gloved in black leather.

"Just Y/n will suffice. It's a pleasure to met." You smiles with a small bow, before taking his hand. He lead you in to the huge dining room. Where a large long table set up eloquently, food spread a crossed. Candles place through out the room and table. Giving the whole room a romantic and yet and eerie feeling to it. Everyone in the room fell silent when you and your host walked in. Pulling the chair for you. He sat next to you. Your eyes moved about the room. Spotting a paint of who you assumed was the real Thomas Sharpe. You had hope that maybe the man hidden under those bandages was equally handsome.

"Welcome everyone." A woman in a black dress a simple black mask cover her eyes like yours, stood at the head of the table. She was white as a ghost. Looking very much dead. Whoever did her make up was amazing. Her eyes seemed so lifeless. Her voice a bit pitchy. "I'm Lucille Sharpe your other hostess. You've all met my brother Thomas. You have all so received a letter with instructions on how to night's event will go. Now in front of you is an more in depth story of the roll you will be playing this evening. Please take a look and let the games begin." She smiles though it seem to have a hidden wickedness to it.

The night went on drinks flowed and you got to know you host, Thomas. He was witty and charming. His voice was enough to make your panties melt. Only if you could see what he looked like. Hoping he was as sexy as his voice. Everyone moved about the house separating. For you, you stayed with the dashing man that allowed you to hold onto his arm walking about the house. Showing you where you room would be at. Your things already in there. Leaving the room, he was about to show you the Library when you both heard a bloodcurdling scream. Rushing towards the stair. You looked over the railing down into the main room of the house. One of the guest laid there. The floor had sunk around him. You weren't sure if it was the liquid clay that sweep out from under him or the "blood." After all this was to be a murder mystery.

"It looks to have started.” Both Thomas and Lucille stated as she kneeled next to the body, checking for a pulse. The four other nodded and started asking the question that were provided. Trying to figure out who the killer was. You couldn't place it but there was something very off about this whole thing. The detective inspector that was another guest started interrogating everyone when you arrived with Thomas. Now the suspicion was on the two of you. You play the frantic house wife well. Needing tea and wishing to retire to your room as you felt a fright and light headed. Though truth be told you felt rather light headed in the first place. You ask for Thomas to help you back to you room.

Once in your room you had decided to lay down for a moment. Well that what you thought at lest. You had passed out right when you hit the soft mattress. When you woke it had felt as though someone or something slowly woke you. There was a weird weight on top of you. Finding the skirt of you dress was bunched up around your hips. But there was nothing there, just dim lights from the candles and an empty room. But the pressure on top of you moved, like a body. And something pushed along your cotton panties, rubbing along your covered folds. You gasped at whatever the very large thing that was moving both on top of you and between your things. When your mind starting to come to. You struggled against whatever held you down. The rubbing soon turned into pressure pushing against your covered entrance. Unwanted heat pooled between your thighs. You screamed out, calling for someone to help.

“Why fight it? When your body is reacting to me.” The voice purred around you. Not knowing where it was coming from. It sounded like a man. But your mind was still struggling the uncertainty of everything going on.

Only soon your screams become more like moans and your panties became damp. That same voice grunted at the feel of you growing wet for him. The seam of your underwear moved to the side revealing your wet folds. You whimpered a please. Unsure if it was a please for it to stop or a please be fucked. But the larger member of what felt like the head of a cock pushed between wet fold entering you tight core. It could have been a tentacle penetrating you, for all you knew. Whatever it was made you yelped at the pain, but it felt oddly pleasurable. It was long, thick and pulsating. Wiggling under the weight of something invisible, a man perhaps. More grunts and groans came from above you. The voice now sounded so familiar.

Hard deep thrust penetrated into tight welcoming core. You could only think this was a dream and hoped it so, as pleasure filled you. Any other reason should have you screaming and fighting the invisible figured off of you. But your wall only squeezed around the invisible length. You mind imagined it being the handsome Thomas Sharpe. Fucking you into the mattress. He was rough, his cock over filled your tight core squeezing the life out of him. So when you screamed his name out as you came around nothing.

"That's it cum for me." The voice matched the man that had been wrapped in White bandages was now clear to you. Your back arched hearing his voice and you came once more. His own desire building up. He thrusted harder inside of you. Finding his own release. Shooting cold ropes of his seed deep inside of you. Overly stuffing you, his seed seeped out. Lazily thrusted into you. Making sure you had every last drop of him inside of you. You panted heavily, your body exhausted even more then it was before you had fallen asleep. “You my dear were even more pleasurable then I expected. The idea of keeping you excites me to no end. But you would not survive with her still here.” You were sure of it now it was the voice of your host, Thomas.

You whimpered when his length pulled out of you. Leaving a mess between your thighs. He hummed at the sight of you. Staring at nothing to you. But to him you were staring right at him. Longing for more, you weren’t sure. Thomas only watched as your core clenched around nothing. It too seemed to want him back. He chuckled softly as he knelt beside you. Placing a kiss to you parted lips. You could now see an odd line forming around a body as he pulled away.

“Perhaps, I might visit you.” You hummed he sounded distance now. Thomas noticed as you tried to move off the bed. But you body was to heavy and sleep started to take you again. “She drugged all the guests. But rest now, and know that you will leave this place without being murdered unlike the rest of the guests.” Your eyes fluttered about, your mind racing, slowly you saw the form of a man. White in color, sad looking. Yet very handsome and familiar you remember the painting of Sir Thomas Sharpe. Soon everything went dark again.

Light beamed through the curtains. Sitting up in bed, with a bit of a start. You noticed a few things that were off. One was that you were fully alone and were in your own bed. You pulled yourself out of bed noticing two other things. You were no longer wearing clothes you had on before. No, you stood there naked. Was it all a dream you thought as you walked over the dresser, where you would have left the invitation. As you did so there was the sensation of something cold trickling down your thighs making you gasp. The ache between your thighs indicating you had been fuck, rather hard and rather well at that. A shiver ran down your spine at the thought of what had happened that night.

That wasn’t all though, you looked to your dresser and there laying open was the envelope and invitation. The box’s that held the dress still laid in the chair next to the door. You turned back towards your bed, needing to sit down. But what made you scream in fright was the form of a body laying under your sheets. Dark brown curls peaked from under the blanket and sheets. The man stirred beneath the covers with a groaning.

Permanent tags: @kitkatkl @lokilvrr @instantnoodlese @drakesfiance @meyoko10 @miraclesoflove @madleiine, @teageowen @scorpionchild81 @redlipsinkorea @mintzxi @it-jinxed-us @heylals @jpat82

Tom/Loki Tag's: @theoneanna @graveyard-groupie @silverquartx @moonfaery @kcd15 @moonlightprime @youveseen--thebutcher @shockwavee @sabine-leo @screw-real-life-i-pick-fandoms @vethrvolnir, @darkprincessloki92 @archy3001 @chaoticwithpurpose @paanchu786, @metalheadspider @myownviperroom @arosewithdaisies @jilldsumner @daughterofsunandmoon93 @too-cold-for-youhere @iamverity @sterwild @hiddlefan81 @matczvkv desimarie12, loser-alert, cest-le-temps-de-lamour, @lucantis @sherlokiholland @kryptonite2116 @justthatfangirloverthere @littleredstarfish @amore-p-siche

#tom hiddleston #thomas sharpe x you #thomas sharpe au #thomas sharpe x reader #thomas sharpe #the invisible man #Au

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justzawe · 4 years ago

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Re: Tom and kids. At the Crimson Peak shoot, where many fans were demanding his attention, he made a point to single out and talk to and interact with every kid there. One day the queue to meet him had hundreds of people. It was getting dark, and Tom's assistant started dragging him away. A very little girl who had arrived too late to meet him started crying. He shook off his assistant and went to her, crouched down to talk to her for a while, hugged her, and had her mum take a photo of them.

So sweet 💖

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idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 · 6 years ago

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Sigyn, Wife of Loki

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Requested: No

Tagging: @thisismysecrethappyplace @butcanijustnot

Fandom: Tom Hiddleston?

Relationship: Married; Tom Hiddleston x Reader. Established; Loki x Sigyn

Summary: The Reader is Tom’s wife and soon she’ll be Loki’s wife as well as she plays Sigyn in the new Loki limited series.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None.

You met Tom when you were cast to play Edith Cushing opposite of his Sir Thomas Sharpe in Crimson Peak. It was your first big role in the film industry and you were ecstatic to be working with such as amazing actors, but you didn’t know that you would have met your future husband on Crimson Peak’s set.

You and Tom had grown so close while filming the movie that the two of you continued to talk and hang out even after filming was over and, as the press tour rolled around and the two of you were back to spending long hours around each other, the two of you happily started dating.

You and Tom were together for two years before you married.

You loved Tom’s fans and how loyal they were, but they didn’t love you. You tried not to let it get to you, but every now and then one of his fans would say something particularly mean that would really hurt you.

Those mean comments picked up significantly after it was announced that you would be playing Loki’s wife in Marvel’s new Loki limited series. You married Sir Thomas Sharpe and Tom and now you were marrying Loki and it “just wasn’t fair.”

You, on the other hand, couldn’t be more excited. You were excited to work with your husband again and you were excited to be a Marvel actress who got to play a Goddess and you were excited to get to see Tom as Loki up close and personal.

You had always loved Loki and Tom’s subtle and powerful portrayal of emotion and Loki’s internal struggles and you were so excited to see him portray those powerful moments with your own eyes.

Filming the series so far had been a blast. You were having a time of your life, even if the fans weren’t sold on your portrayal of Sigyn.

Today you and Tom were filming a rather intense scene between the two of you. Loki and Sigyn’s relationship was on the rocks in the series and Loki was in the midst of a rather large internal struggle and all of today the two of you were going to film the scene where he takes out all of his pent up feelings on you.

Loki had been distant from Sigyn in the beginning of the episode. He was planning on breaking up with her at the end of the episode because he knew she was too good for him and that he didn’t deserve her, which was one of the internal struggles currently plaguing Loki.

“And action!” The director called.

You and Tom stood on the set of one of the Asgardian Palace’s many secluded halls, his back to you. Upon the direction calling action, you stepped forwards and gently touched Tom’s shoulder.

“I still love you.” You whispered, your eyes on the ground.

“You shouldn’t.” Tom replied, not turning to face you.

“But I do…” You whispered and slowly retracted your hand and went to walk away.

“I don’t have a heart left for you to love.” Tom said softly, turning around.

You stopped and turned your head over your shoulder towards him. “You’re wrong, Loki.”

Tom shook his head, clenching his jaw. “Odin ruined me and I’m a monster, Sigyn. I’m not a man deserving of your affection.”

You turned back towards him and stepped closer to cup his cheek. “You’re wrong about that as well, my love.”

Tom pushed your hand away and stepped back, turning back around.

“I don’t love you.” Tom’s voice was supposed to be cold and hard. The line was directed to be a blow towards Sigyn, but Tom’s voice betrayed him and the line came out softly and full of emotion.

You swallowed and tightened your lips. “You’re lying, God of Lies.” You whispered after a moment, sticking to the script.

“I don’t love you!” Tom shouted, turning around quickly, just as scripted.

Your mouth fell open for a moment before you closed it and swallowed, your eyes welling up with tears, a few of them spilling down your cheek, just as the script said. You felt your lip tremble and you took a step back from Tom.

Tom was supposed to harden his expression and ignore your emotional reaction to his outburst, but Tom didn’t. Instead of hardening his expression, Tom’s face crumbled. His expression softened and you watched as his eyes became red with the tears gathering in his eyes. His entire body just fell, his shoulders sagging forwards as he stepped towards you.

You knew Tom and you knew that he was no longer Loki but your husband, heartbroken over the words he just shouted at you. The scene was over and everyone in the room knew it as Tom slowly broke down before you, but the director couldn’t bear to shout “cut.”

Tom stepped closer to you and gently brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently rubbing your skin.

“That’s not true.” Tom whispered, leaning towards you slightly, his eyes bleeding pain and regret.

“I love you more than everything,” Tom’s voice was soft and it broke slightly when he breathed the word everything. “More than life itself.” Tom finished, leaning forwards to press his forehead to yours, a single tear falling due to the angle and gravity as he closed his eyes.

You smiled sadly and reached up to cup his jaw, your own eyes closing as you swayed closer to Tom’s body. “It’s okay.”

“Cut.” You and Tom heard the director say softly and Tom slowly pulled back from you and wiped his tears.

“What?” He asked, looking towards the director.

“That was beautiful, I hope you don’t mind me saying that. It was just so raw and pure and I would shoot myself in the foot later if I didn’t have that on tape. I doubt we’ll use it, I don’t think we’re there yet in terms of Loki and Sigyn’s story, but it really was a powerful moment between the two of you and we can all see how much Tom loves you, (Y/N).” The director walked over and clasped his hand on your shoulder. “I’m really glad we chose you to play Sigyn.”

You and Loki watched the finished episodes before they were released and both of you were very surprised when you sat down to watch this week’s episode and found Tom’s character break within the episode.

It had been the first time you and Tom had seen the scene and you had to admit, the director was right. It really was a powerful moment. And, as you watched it, you realized that Tom’s character break wasn’t as evident as you as previously thought. In fact, it reminded you of his scene in Thor: The Dark World where Loki yelled at Frigga and then immediately regretted it.

Tom paused the episode after the scene and looked down at you in his arms, but he didn’t say anything. You looked up and gave him a small smile. “I think that version was better than the original idea.”

Tom smiled back at you and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I still hate that I had to yell that at you…”

You shoved your husband a bit. “For the lasttime, it wasn’t you and it wasn’t me and it’s okay.”

“Still.” He whispered and you sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whispered back and leaned more onto Tom’s chest.

You were nervous about the reaction the scene would have on the fans. Loki fans were scary and harsh and they were not happy about you being cast as Sigyn in the new Loki series. See, you had already “stolen Tom and it wasn’t fair that you were going to get Loki too.” So far, the reaction of your character and her relationship to Loki wasn’t very well received and you feared that they would hate the very real scene in this week’s episode.

Fortunately, you were wrong.

The fans loved the scene. The found it every bit as raw and powerful as the director and yourself had found it and the scene changed the minds of a great deal of fans on Loki and Sigyn’s relationship as well as you playing Sigyn. A large deal of fans agreed that if Sigyn had been played by anyone other than you, Tom’s wife, the relationship between Loki and Sigyn wouldn’t be as deep nor the love as visible.

You couldn’t be more happy over the episode being well received. And you couldn’t help yourself from liking a bunch of Instagram and Twitter posts you found about the scene, your personal favourite being a comparison between you and Tom, Edith and Thomas, and Sigyn and Loki. You also couldn’t help yourself from saving the photo collage and sending it to your husband.

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston oneshot #tom hiddleston #mine #loki x reader #loki x sigyn #logyn #sigyn #loki imagine #loki oneshot #loki x you #actor reader #actor!reader #tom hiddleston x actor!reader #marvel #loki tv series

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devikafernando · 6 years ago

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Hiddles Birthday Week - Day 2

Day Two: Monday (Feb 4th) - Favourite Interview/Photoshoot

Another impossible choice... I’m pretty sure I went with interview last year so I’ll share my top 3 photoshoots today. *distributes smelling salts and drool buckets*

3) Tom Hiddleston by Matthias Vriens-McGrath (Crimson Peak promo)

(Credit goes to @clintfbarton )

2) Tom Hiddleston by Charlie Gray (One Cool Cat Shoot/Interview)

1) Tom Hiddleston by Kurt Iswariyenko (Kong promo)

Disclaimer: All credit goes to the photographers and the sources where the photos were published.

#TH: interview #HiddlesBirthdayWeek #hiddles birthday week 2019 #tom hiddleston #there are many more pics per shoot but i can only die so many times

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gaslightgallows · 6 years ago

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So today, my husband did a photo shoot with a couple of cosplaying models, one as Wonder Woman, the other as Kinga Forrester from new MST3K.

It got gay very quickly.

In other news, my accidental plot to convince people that Crimson Peak is secretly a Christmas movie is going well. I have converted *counts* three people to my cause.

#the life of gaslight

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royal-loki · 6 years ago

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But isn’t it gross that Tom fucked TS?! I lost respect for him after that.

I knew I’d get this ask one day so strap in ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a long one.

Now take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt but this is my take on what happened. Tom “dated” Taylor Swift as a PR move to help him land the role of Bond and to show the producers of the Bond franchise that he is capable of drawing in a large audience.

Hiddleswift happened during the summer of 2016, right after The Night Manager (a Bond-like role) received tons of praise from critics. Despite Tom already landing leading man roles like Crimson Peak and I Saw The Light, I believe he wanted to prove that he can draw in the big crowds and star in high grossing summer blockbusters like Kong: Skull Island.

He was already widely known as the actor who plays Loki but during that time, I think he wanted to separate from his titular character and star in his own franchise (since Thor really belongs to Chris Hemsworth). Despite stealing the show multiple times for his amazing performance as Loki, he still couldn’t claim he was the lead character or that he was the one drawing in the large crowds. The MCU helped Tom raise his profile to an A-list actor but what would really cement him in cinema history would be to play James Bond, a role he felt like he was born to play.

Tom is a smart guy, he knows how to market himself. I do believe he is genuinely kind and charming but he does dial it up a notch during promotional tours and interviews. He knew that he had to encourage the media and his fans to hype him up as the next James Bond. I do believe that the Met Gala video of him dancing with Swift was spontaneous but his PR team quickly noticed the amount of attention he was getting from people speculating if they were a couple.

If you know anything about how Hollywood works, you’d know that a lot of actors go into PR relationships to get the media talking about their next film/ album/ tv show. Many co-stars “date” while promoting their work to get fans more interested thus drawing in more viewers.

I do believe that Tom and Taylor’s PR teams worked on a mutual contract that would hopefully benefit both of them and help promote Tom as a contender for James Bond, a hot British gent who can get any woman he wants. I personally blame Tom’s PR team for encouraging him to agree to this and his publicist, Luke, should have known better.

Tom’s fandom is very different from Taylor’s. Tom tends to have older fans that have been around to see the media circus and have stopped falling for obvious pap shoots. Taylor’s fan tend to lean younger and both fandoms found the age gap and character difference to be quite jarring.

I was actually completely unaware of their “relationship” during that summer because I wasn’t following Tom at the time. I took a break from the fandom for a couple years and returned after I saw Thor: Ragnarok. I read up about the insane backlash he got from wearing that tank top.

> Be Tom> Sign PR contract and be forced to appear for pap shoots> Taylor’s “squad” just magically have a I > Get him to wear it for photos> Tom is too nice to say no> Media makes fun of you> Fans abandon you> Lose the role of Bond> All because of a tank top

The gallivanting around the States, Rome and London was extra, I must admit. But Tom didn’t think it would backfire so badly and harm his career and public perception. To be honest, I’m glad those “fans” are gone because they kept portraying him as some perfect Prince Charming and he’s not. He’s a man. He’s hardworking. He’s intelligent. He wanted to be a big name actor and he knew what it would take to become one. I don’t blame him one bit for that summer. If you’ve ever had a dream that you aspired to more than anything in your whole life then you’d do anything to achieve it.

Do I think he actually slept with her? No.

The most unfortunate thing that happened because of the Hiddleswift debacle was that he retreated away from the public eye. He stopped updating his social media. His IMDb has no upcoming projects. Tom obviously needed a break from the constant harassment from the media and former fans.

Two years later and people like you are still bringing it up. Move on. He’s moved on.

#ask #Tom Hiddleston #Hiddleswift

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brn1029 · 3 years ago

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The beginning of the month. Here’s what happened in music on this date…

February 1st

1949 - RCA Records

RCA Records issued the first ever 45rpm single, the invention of this size record made jukeboxes possible.

1964 - The Beatles

The Beatles started a seven week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with 'I Want To Hold Your Hand', the first US No.1 by a UK act since The Tornadoes 'Telstar' in 1962 and the first of three consecutive No.1's from the group.

1965 - James Brown

At the Arthur Smith Studios in Charlotte, North Carolina, James Brown recorded 'Papa's Got A Brand New Bag', which will reach No.8 on the Billboard Pop chart and No.1 on the R&B chart the following August and later win a Grammy Award for Best Rhythm and Blues Recording.

1969 - Tommy James

Tommy James and the Shondells started a two week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with 'Crimson And Clover', the group's second and last No.1. Billy Idol had a 1987 US No.1 with 'Mony Mony' a No.3 hit for Tommy James in 1968.

1972 - Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry had his first UK No.1 single with a live recording of a song he'd been playing live for over 20 years 'My Ding-a-Ling'. UK public morality campaigner Mary Whitehouse attempted to have the song banned due to its innuendo-laden lyrics. The Average White Band members guitarist Onnie McIntyre and drummer Robbie McIntosh played on the single.

1975 - Neil Sedaka

Neil Sedaka had his second US No.1 single with 'Laughter In The Rain', over 12 years after his last chart topper 'Breaking Up Is Hard To Do'.

1980 - Blondie

Blondie released 'Call Me', the main theme song of the 1980 film American Gigolo. It peaked at No. 1 for six consecutive weeks, and became the top-selling single of the year in the United States in 1980.

1986 - Dick James

Music publisher Dick James died of a heart attack aged 65. Worked with many UK 60s acts including The Beatles. James signed Elton John and his lyricist Bernie Taupin as unknown artists in 1967 and was the founder of the DJM record label.

1989 - Paul Robi

Paul Robi from The Platters died of cancer. UK & US No.1 single 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes'. Robi left The Platters in the early 60s being replaced by Nate Nelson from the Flamingos.

1999 - Julius Wechter

American musician and composer Julius Wechter died. He composed the song 'Spanish Flea' for Herb Alpert and was leader of The Baja Marimba Band. As a session musician he worked for the likes of The Beach Boys, Sonny and Cher and various Phil Spector productions. His vibraphone solo work is featured on the Beach Boys' acclaimed album, Pet Sounds ('Let's Go Away for Awhile'). He died of lung cancer a day after his song 'Spanish Flea' was used in the Simpsons episode Sunday, Cruddy Sunday.

2001 - Elton John

A collection of Sir Elton John's private photos on display at a museum in Atlanta were withdrawn. The exhibition, which included snaps of nude men, was said to be too explicit, some school trips to the museum had been cancelled.

2008 - The Beatles

US space agency Nasa announced that 'Across the Universe' by The Beatles was to become the first song ever to be beamed directly into space. The track would be transmitted through the Deep Space Network - a network of antennas - on the 40th anniversary of the song being recorded, being aimed at the North Star, Polaris, 431 light-years from Earth. In a message to NASA, Paul McCartney said the project was an "amazing" feat."Well done, Nasa," he added. "Send my love to the aliens. All the best, Paul."

2009 - Bruce Springsteen

Bruce Springsteen started a two week run at No.1 on the UK album chart with 'Working on a Dream' his 16th studio album.

2012 - Soul Train

Don Cornelius, the host of US TV's Soul Train, (from 1971 until 1993), who helped break down racial barriers and broaden the reach of Black culture, died. Police officers responded to a report of a shooting at 12685 Mulholland Drive and found Cornelius with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He was 75

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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The top 50 players in men’s college basketball

These are the players who defined the 2019-2020 men’s college basketball season.

There were so many great stories in college basketball this season that will never get the ending they deserve. The NCAA tournament was canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic, an absolutely necessary move but a sad one nonetheless. We can make predictions about what would have happened in March Madness, but the reality is none of us will ever know who ultimately would have cut down the nets at the Final Four in Atlanta.

While we mourn the loss of the NCAA tournament, it’s important to remember the players who made the 2019-20 college basketball season what it was. There were veterans like Markus Howard and Udoka Azuibuike who got even better as seniors. There were players like Luka Garza and Immanuel Quickley who seemingly came out of nowhere to become stars. There were freshmen like Onyeka Okongwu who made an immediate impact.

These are the 50 best players in college basketball this season, ranked.

50. Desmond Bane, G, TCU

The 6’6 senior guard capped a productive four-year career by leading TCU in scoring (16.6 points per game), assists (four per game), and steals. He shot 43.9 percent from three-point range while nearly doubling his assist rate from last season to near 26 percent. He was named first-team All-Big 12 for his efforts.

49. John Mooney, F, Notre Dame

Mooney led the nation in double-doubles, posting at least 10 points and 10 rebounds in 25 of Notre Dame’s 31 games. The senior big man wasn’t the most efficient scorer (51 percent true shooting) due to a penchant to take and miss three-pointers (31-of-105 on the season), but his consistent work on the glass and inside scoring helped carry Notre Dame to a 20-12 record on the year.

48. Oscar Tshiebwe, C, West Virginia

Tshiebwe was one of the most physically intimidating players in the country from the moment he stepped on the floor for West Virginia. The 6’9, 260-pound freshman center led the country in offensive rebound rate (19 percent). Tshiebwe was also a critical cog protecting the paint in the Mountaineers’ No. 3 overall defense while leading the team in scoring, rebounding, and blocked shots.

47. Jalen Crutcher, G, Dayton

Obi Toppin might have been the star of the show at Dayton, but the Flyers’ high-powered offense wouldn’t have been so prolific without the contributions of his trusty sidekick Jalen Crutcher. The 6’1 junior guard drastically improved as a shooter from three-point range (42 percent) and the foul line (86 percent). He ended the season averaging 15 points and five assists per game.

46. Precious Achiuwa, C/F, Memphis

Memphis’ dream season went up in smoke when star freshman center James Wiseman was suspended and ultimately left the team amid an NCAA scandal after only three games. The Tigers were still able to win 21 games and have a chance to play themselves into the Big Dance at the AAC tournament thanks to the contributions of Achiuwa, their other McDonald’s All-American freshman. A long and strong 6’9 forward, Achiuwa averaged 15.8 points, 10.8 rebounds, and 1.9 blocks per game to lead the Tigers in all three categories.

Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images

45. Kaleb Wesson, C, Ohio State

There was a time when Wesson looked like the best player in the country in the early part of the season as Ohio State rose as high as No. 2 in the AP poll. Both Wesson and his team would eventually come back down to Earth before rebounding late in the season to win four of their final five games. The 6’9, 270-pound big man ended the season averaging 14 points and 9.8 rebounds while making 45 three-pointers at a 42 percent clip.

44. Zeke Nnaji, C, Arizona

Nico Mannion and Josh Green were the Arizona freshmen with the most hype this season, but Nnaji ended up becoming the Wildcats’ best player. The 6’11 big man led his team in scoring (16.1) and rebounding (8.6) while also finishing with 63 percent true shooting. An underrated part of Nnaji’s offense was his ability to get to the foul line and make free throws. He finished with 6.1 fouls drawn per-40 minutes and knocked down 76 percent of his attempts from the charity stripe.

43. Nathan Knight, C, William & Mary

The CAA had lots of great players this year — Charleston’s Grant Riller and Hofstra’s Desure Buie were also considered for this list — but Knight was the guy took home the conference’s player of the year award after finishing second in the country in double-doubles. The 6’10, 250-pound senior forward was a beast inside for conference opponents all season, averaging 20.7 points and 10.5 rebounds per game on 61 percent true shooting. He leaves school as the program’s second all-time leading scorer.

42. Paul Reed, C, DePaul

A long 6’9 junior big man, Reed turned into a dependable scorer and one of the better defensive centers in the country this season at DePaul. He posted monstrous block (9.4 percent) and steal (3.4 percent) rates while averaging 15.1 points and 10.7 rebounds per game for the Blue Demons. He finished No. 13 in America in box score plus-minus.

41. Yoeli Childs, C, BYU

The 6’8 senior was again one of the most productive big men in America when he was on the court for BYU this season. Childs led his team in scoring (22.2 points per game), rebounding (nine per game) and blocks while finishing with a 60.3 true shooting percentage. His final year of college basketball unfortunately got off to a late start after he was suspended the first nine games of the season for a paperwork error related to his decision to pull out of the 2019 NBA Draft.

Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

40. Kira Lewis, PG, Alabama

Lewis entered college basketball as a 17-year-old freshman at Alabama and took another step forward in his development this year. An ultrafast 6’3 point guard with emerging scoring ability, Lewis led the Crimson Tide by averaging 18.5 points, 5.2 assists, and 1.8 steals per game. He’s expected to be a first-round pick in the NBA Draft.

39. Keyontae Johnson, F, Florida

Florida didn’t quite live up to preseason expectations, but it wasn’t Johnson’s fault. The sophomore swing man led the Gators in scoring (14 points per game) while also being his team’s best defender. An active and athletic player on both ends of the floor, Johnson was named a first-team All-SEC selection by raising his scoring efficiency (62.4 percent true shooting) and finishing with the highest box score plus-minus on his team.

38. Isaiah Stewart, C, Washington

Stewart was blessed with adult-level strength from his early years in high school, so it was no surprise to see him have such a productive freshman year at Washington. The 6’9, 250-pound big man led the Huskies in scoring (17.7 points per game) and rebounding (8.8 per game) while finishing with 63 percent true shooting that ranked top-50 in the country.

37. Elijah Hughes, F, Syracuse

A long and versatile 6’6 forward, Hughes enjoyed a breakout junior year by becoming Syracuse’s primary scoring option. He led the ACC in scoring at 19 points per game while also averaging five rebounds and 3.4 assists per night. Hughes’ scoring punch was helped by an increased volume in three-point shooting, where he hit 34.1 percent of his 7.2 attempts per game from downtown.

36. Lamar Stevens, G, Penn State

Stevens wrapped up a phenomenal four-year career at Penn State by leading the Nittany Lions to their first ranking in the AP poll since the 1995-96 season, where they peaked at No. 9. Penn State was going to make its first NCAA tournament appearance since 2010-11 with Stevens leading the team in scoring for the second straight season. He leaves school just six points short of becoming the program’s all-time leading scorer, which he would have been a lock to get had the season continued as planned.

Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

35. Nick Richards, C, Kentucky

Most McDonald’s All-Americans don’t spend their first two years in college basketball averaging less than 15 minutes per game. That was the reality for Richards as he competed in a deep Kentucky front court while he skill set took time to catch up to his physical talent. Everything clicked for him as a junior, giving the Wildcats an athletic center who finished everything inside and turned into one of the SEC’s premier defenders. Richards ended his junior year averaging 14 points and 7.8 rebounds per game, with a huge eight percent block rate and a 67.8 true shooting percentage that ranked No. 8 in America.

34. Mamadi Diakite, F, Virginia

Virginia lost Kyle Guy, Ty Jerome, and De’Andre Hunter from its reigning national championship team, but the two-way play of Diakite helped the ‘Hoos maintain their excellence. After a slow start, Virginia was set to enter the ACC tournament at 23-7 overall and 15-5 in the conference. Diakite was their leading scorer and also arguably the top defensive player on the No. 1 defense in America. He should never have to pay for a meal in Charlottesville again.

33. Tres Tinkle, F, Oregon State

In his fifth season playing for his father at Oregon State, Tinkle led his team in scoring (18.5 points per game), rebounding, and steals, and finished second in assists and blocks. The 6’7 forward passed Gary Payton on March 6 to become the program’s all-time leading scorer.

32. Reggie Perry, C, Mississippi State

Coming off an MVP run with USA Basketball in the FIBA U19 World Cup, Perry built on a promising freshman year at Mississippi State by raising his numbers across the board. He averaged a double-double (17.4 points and 10.1 rebounds) while shooting 50 percent from the field. The 6’10 big man also made strides as a shooter, both from three-point range (where he doubled his makes from last year by hitting 23) and the foul line (76.8 percent).

31. Jordan Ford, G, St. Mary’s

Ford was one of the most reliable scorers in America for the second straight season. He duplicated the 21 points per game he averaged a year ago, and this time did it a tad more efficiently. Ford appeared in all 33 games for St. Mary’s this season and played 93.5 percent of the team’s available minutes. The point guard did a tremendous job of taking care of the ball, posting a turnover rate of just nine percent which ranked top-30 in the country.

Photo by Sam Wasson/Getty Images

30. Jalen Harris, G, Nevada

The 6’5 guard turned into one of the most dynamic backcourt scorers in the country in his first season at Nevada after transferring from Louisiana State. Harris put up 21.7 points per game to go along with nearly four assists per night. He was one of the most efficient high-usage scorers in America, ending the year ranked in the 83rd percentile of points per possession.

29. Tyler Bey, F, Colorado

Bey broke out into a legitimate first-round NBA Draft prospect during his junior season at Colorado. The 6’7 forward was one of the top defensive players in the country, posting impressive block and steal rates while having the versatility to switch onto forwards, big men, and even some guards. He was also the team’s second leading scorer at 13.8 points per game while grabbing a team-best nine rebounds per night. He was named Pac-12 Defensive Player of the Year for his efforts.

28. Sam Merrill, G, Utah State

Merrill officially owns college basketball’s most memorable moment of March 2020 with his buzzer-beater to shock San Diego State and punch the Utah State Aggies to the NCAA tournament. Merrill finished his senior year just tenths of a point from his second consecutive season of averaging 20 points per game. Mountain West teams should be thrilled to see him graduate. He leaves school as the program’s second all-time leading scorer.

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27. Filip Petrušev, C, Gonzaga

Petrusev went from a reserve in a deep and talented Gonzaga front court as a freshman to one of the best offensive centers in the country as a sophomore. He led Gonzaga in scoring (17.5 points per game) and rebounding (7.9 per game) while posting nearly 60 percent true shooting. He was named WCC Player of the Year for his efforts.

26. Ayo Dosunmu, G, Illinois

Dosunmu made a surprising decision to return for his sophomore year without even testing the NBA Draft waters. It’s a choice that allowed him to go down as one of the great players in recent Illinois basketball history. The 6’5 guard led the team in scoring (16.6 points per game) and assists (3.3 per game), but that doesn’t fully capture the impact he made in leading the Illini to what would have been their first NCAA tournament berth since 2013. It’s the clutch moments for Dosunmu that will stand the test of time, closing out wins against Wisconsin, Purdue, Rutgers, and Northwestern before hitting this game-winner vs. Michigan:

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25. Devin Vassell, SF, Florida State

Florida State won the ACC regular-season crown and were about to be a trendy pick to reach the Final Four. Vassell led the team in scoring and rebounding while being the team’s best defender and best three-point shooter. There’s a reason the 6’7 sophomore wing is projected as a possible NBA lottery pick despite relatively pedestrian per-game stats (12.7 points, 5.1 rebounds per game). He made a noticeable impact on winning every time FSU took the floor.

24. Skylar Mays, G, LSU

An athletic 6’4 swingman, Mays capped his four-year career at LSU by becoming one of the better players in the SEC. The leading scorer (16.7 points per game) on the No. 4 offense in America, Mays improved as a shooter — hitting over 39 percent of his threes — and made major strides as an offensive creator. He finished in the 98th percentile as a pick-and-roll ball handler, according to Synergy Sports. He was also arguably the Tigers’ best defender, finishing with a steal rate of about three percent for the fourth straight year.

23. Marcus Zegarowski, PG, Creighton

Zagaroawski was the sophomore point guard who served as the engine of the No. 3 offense in the country. A dangerous long-range shooter (42 percent from three) and skilled playmaker (five assists per game), he led Creighton to the No. 7 overall ranking in the final AP poll of the year. The Bluejays were a major threat to reach the second weekend of the tournament for the first time since 1973.

22. Killian Tillie, F, Gonzaga

It feels like Tillie has been around college basketball forever. As a freshman, he was the French forward off the bench for a team that went to the national championship game. He broke out into a star as a sophomore by becoming a knockdown three-point shooter who hit better than 47 percent of his attempts from behind the arc. His junior season was painfully cut short by ankle and foot injuries. Gonzaga didn’t need him to be its leading man as a senior with such a talented supporting cast around him, but Tillie was still arguably the team’s most consistent offensive player. He’s going to have a long and prosperous pro career if the injury troubles are behind him.

21. Immanuel Quickley, G, Kentucky

From a sparingly used guard off the bench to SEC Player of the Year: that’s the story of Quickley’s sophomore season at Kentucky. The 6’3 guard slotted into more of an off-ball role this season next to Tyrese Maxey and Ashton Hagans, where he blossomed as a three-point shooter (41.6 percent from deep) and eventually became the primary scoring option for the Wildcats by the end of the year. This will go down as one of the great sophomore leaps in John Calipari’s tenure at Kentucky.

Photo by Mitchell Layton/Getty Images

20. Saddiq Bey, F, Villanova

The improvements Bey made as a sophomore at Villanova are about to make him a very rich man. The 6’8 forward was at the center of everything Villanova did this year, leading the team in scoring (16.1 points per game) and nearly doubling his assist rate from his freshman season. His biggest strides came as an outside shooter. Bey hit 45.1 percent of his threes on 5.6 attempts per game. During a shooting-obsessed era of the NBA, Bey’s deep range should make him a first-round draft pick.

19. Tre Jones, PG, Duke

Jones was projected as a possible first-round pick last year after playing with Zion Williamson, R.J. Barrett, and Cam Reddish as a freshman. He decided to return to Duke for his sophomore year instead, becoming the heart and soul of the team from the moment the season tipped off. Jones raised his numbers across the board on his way to becoming ACC Player of the Year. Going from a role-player to a leading man while raising your efficiency is no easy task, but Jones pulled it off flawlessly. The NBA is still waiting.

18. Mason Jones, G, Arkansas

Was there a better player in college basketball this year who received less hype than Mason Jones? Arkansas’ junior guard averaged 22 points, 5.5 rebounds, and 3.4 assists per night on 45.3/35.1/82.6 shooting splits. His ability to hit step-back and pull-up jumpers paced the Arkansas offense through the year while he also posted a solid 2.7 percent steal rate on defense.

17. Tyrese Haliburton, PG, Iowa State

Before Haliburton’s sophomore season ended in early February thanks to a wrist injury, the Iowa State point guard was emerging as one of the oddest yet most effective players in America. After putting up incredibly efficient numbers in a small role as a freshman, Haliburton more than doubled his usage while continuing to be hyper-efficient offensively. While the 6’5 guard wasn’t much of an attacker off the dribble, he was a dynamic threat on catch-and-shoot threes (42 percent) and finished with a 35 percent assist rate that ranked No. 26 in America. He’s expected to be a lottery pick in June’s NBA Draft.

16. Daniel Oturu, C, Minnesota

Oturu was considered one of the top recruits in Minnesota basketball history when he committed — 247 Sports only has Kris Humphries and Royce White rated ahead of him. He spent his sophomore season showing how correct that prophecy always was. The 6’10 center put up gigantic numbers all season, finishing with averages of 20.1 points, 11.3 rebounds, and 2.5 blocks per game. He was one of the best two-way big men in college basketball this season by any definition.

Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images

15. Vernon Carey Jr., C, Duke

There was no point in which Carey looked or felt like a freshman during his first and likely only season at Duke. The 6’10, 270-pound center was considered a top-three prospect in his recruiting class, and lived up to the hype for every second he was on the floor. Carey finished the year leading Duke in scoring (17.8 points per game), rebounding (8.8 per game), and blocked shots (1.6 per game) while finishing with an efficient 61.5 true shooting percentage. He was also a monster at drawing fouls and hit a respectable 67 percent of his free throws. Could he have had the same perfect ending to his freshman year that Jahlil Okafor once enjoyed at Duke? We’ll never know.

14. Xavier Tillman, C, Michigan State

Ever since Tillman inherited Nick Ward’s spot in Michigan State’s lineup midway through last season, the Spartans big man has been one of the most impactful players in America. He proved his worth in a full-time role this season, leading the country in box score plus-minus on the strength of elite defense and solid offense. Tillman’s per-game stats of 13.7 points and 10.3 rebounds per game don’t jump off the page, but MSU was simply a different team with him on the floor. Tillman didn’t need elite athleticism or shooting ability to be a force; he did it with strength and smarts instead. His play is a great example of what per-game numbers don’t capture when it comes to contributions to winning.

13. Jared Butler, G, Baylor

Butler became the best player on one of the best teams in the country this season as the sophomore leader of Baylor. As the Bears started the year 24-1 overall and 13-0 in conference, Butler emerged as their leading scorer and a key defender in a top-five defensive unit. The 6’3 point guard scored in double-figures in 25 of his 30 games, including a 22-point effort in a defining win against Kansas on Jan. 11.

12. Onyeka Okongwu, C, USC

Okongwu was the best freshman in college basketball all year even if most people didn’t realize it. He finished third in the country in box score plus-minus and grew into a lottery pick during his freshman year at USC by becoming one of the best two-way bigs in America. Okongwu was a skilled finisher with either hand who made a habit of dunking in traffic. He might have been even better defensively, where he posted a nearly 10 percent block rate and deterred so many more shot attempts with his length and verticality. There were freshmen who earned more attention nationally, but none that were quite as good as Okongwu.

11. Jordan Nwora, F, Louisville

Nwora is the type of player every college basketball team wants but few actually have: a big wing who can score from all three levels of the floor. He carried the scoring load for a powerful Louisville team all year, acting as the primary option on the No. 12 offense in the country. Nwora averaged 18 points per game and shot a career-best 40 percent from three on six attempts per game as a junior. He ranked in the 82nd percentile of points per possession in the country.

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

10. Jalen Smith, C, Maryland

Smith took a superstar leap as a sophomore after flirting with the NBA Draft at the completion of his freshman year. He raised his numbers across the board and emerged the best player on a Maryland team that peaked at No. 3 in the polls. The 6’10 big man averaged 15.5 points, 10.5 rebounds, and 2.4 blocks per game, while extending his shooting range out past the three-point line (36.8 percent on 87 attempts). He finished the year with a 62.6 true shooting percentage after scoring with just average efficiency (55 percent true shooting) last year.

9. Devon Dotson, G, Kansas

Dotson took the superstar leap in his sophomore season that many were expecting. The point guard was excellent on both ends of the floor, leading the Jayhawks in scoring (18.1 points per game) while posting a monster 3.6 percent steal rate. Arguably the fastest player in the country, Dotson was brilliant at creating offense for himself and others, showing rare finishing touch and the ability to absorb contact at the basket. He finished No. 2 overall behind Luka Garza in KenPom’s Player of the Year award race.

8. Myles Powell, G, Seton Hall

Tom Izzo said it best during a postgame interview after Powell dropped 37 points in 34 minutes on the Spartans in a November game he was originally slated to miss with an injury: “Myles is one of the great players I’ve ever seen in college basketball.” Powell was a stud for Seton Hall this season as a senior on his way to being named a first-time AP All-American. He ended the season averaging 21 points and 4.3 rebounds per game, though his scoring efficiency dropped as the season went along (he ended the year shooting under 40 percent from the field). The Pirates were poised to make some noise in March.

7. Luka Garza, C, Iowa

Garza went from a solid starting center in the Big Ten as a sophomore to KenPom’s No. 1 finisher in the Player of the Year race as a junior. He was unstoppable both offensively and on the glass, raising his scoring average from 13.1 to 23.9 points per game while nearly doubling his efforts as a rebounder (4.5 to 9.8 per game). He even added a consistent three-ball to the mix this year, knocking down 39-of-109 shots from deep, good for 35.8 percent from behind the arc. Garza didn’t bring much defensively, but he has a case for the best offensive big man in America this year.

6. Malachi Flynn, PG, SDSU

Coming off a redshirt season following his transfer from Washington State, Flynn exploded onto the college basketball scene as a second-team AP All-American. He was the leader of a mighty San Diego State team that started the year 26-0 and likely would have been a No. 2 seed in the NCAA tournament. He led the Aztecs in scoring and assists while also playing a critical role in the No. 10 defensive unit in the country.

5. Payton Pritchard, G, Oregon

Pritchard was one of the best guards in the country all year as a senior for Oregon, and he was ending the season on an absolute tear. He dropped 38 points against Arizona, 23 against Oregon State, 20 against Cal, and 29 against Stanford in his last four games before the Pac-12 tournament, all wins. He also provided one of the season’s most memorable moments with his takeover down the stretch against Washington in January, capped by this game-winner:

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4. Markus Howard, PG, Marquette

Howard pulled off a nearly impossible feat as a senior: leading the country in scoring (27.8 points per game) and usage rate while still finishing with nearly 60 percent true shooting despite being the smallest guy on the floor in every game he played. Howard put a cap on a brilliant four-year career by again being arguably the sport’s most lethal shooter, this season draining 121 threes at a 41 percent clip. Marquette was projected to be on the bubble for the NCAA tournament, but if they got in, you can bet Howard wouldn’t have gone down without a barrage of deep threes.

Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

3. Cassius Winston, PG, Michigan State

Winston had to play his senior year under unbearable grief when his younger brother Zachary was found dead just days after the season started. A personal tragedy on that level could sink anyone, but somehow Winston continued to be nothing less than the best point guard in the sport. He led the Spartans in scoring and finished top-20 in America in assist rate while hitting better than 43 percent of his three-pointers. The Spartans struggled to hold onto their preseason No. 1 ranking in the polls, but they were about to enter the Big Ten tournament on a five-game winning streak and seemed to be peaking right on time. Winston was the leader of everything MSU did, just as he had been for the last four years. Throughout his time in East Lansing, Winston personified everything you want a college basketball point guard to be.

2. Udoka Azuibuike, C, Kansas

This was the year Udoka Azuibuike put it all together. After a torn ligament in his right hand ended his junior season after only nine games, Azuibuike returned for his senior year and became the most dominant physical force on the scariest team in the country. Azuibuike was automatic inside, making 74.4 percent of his two-point shots. He took major strides as a defender and rebounder, raising his block rate to nearly 11 percent and posting career-best rates on the glass at both ends of the floor. He also played in every game and anchored the unit that finished in the top-10 of both offensive and defensive efficiency.

When Azuibuike was locked in, he felt like college basketball’s very own Shaquille O’Neal, with opposing defenses looking completely helpless unless they resorted to putting him on the foul line. Players this big and strong and still blessed with touch inside and an increasingly persistent defensive motor do not come along in college hoops very often. Azuibuike was that special.

1. Obi Toppin, F/C, Dayton

There wasn’t much expected from Obi Toppin and Dayton at the onset of the season. The Flyers were unranked in the preseason polls and weren’t even picked to win the A-10. Toppin ranked No. 43 in our preseason countdown of the best players in college basketball, and was well outside of first-round NBA Draft projections. Four months later, Toppin and Dayton were arguably the biggest story in the sport, a future lottery pick leading a No. 1 seed into March on a 20-game winning streak with designs of winning the whole damn thing.

Of course, we’ll never know how far the Flyers actually would have gone. What we do know is Toppin was the best player in America all season. The 6’9 redshirt sophomore forward averaged 20 points per game on absurdly efficient 68.4 percent true shooting. He finished in the 99th percentile of points per possession in DI. He punctuated his greatness with every dunk, going under-the-legs in a game against George Washington and throwing down too many windmills to count. College basketball is going to make Toppin a man wealthy beyond his wildest dreams by the time the draft rolls around. There is no better proof of what this sport can do for a player than Toppin’s rise this year.

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sending-the-message · 7 years ago

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Have you ever been to Bunnyman Bridge? by BestKorea4Ever

“Dude, you’ve never heard of Bunnyman Bridge?”

I had been living in Virginia for less than six months when my buddy Scott asked me this question. I was a recent transplant from New Jersey and had no idea what he was talking about. We were sitting on the lawn outside of the house we rented together, tossing back beers in the brisk evening air.

“No,” I said, “what’s that?”

“Well, back in the ‘70s, some kids were out by this bridge in Clifton, right? They parked near this bridge, uh, underpass thing, lookin’ to bang I guess. Guy and a girl. Anyway, they park and before they can even turn off the car-” Scott’s left fist smacked into his right palm. “BAM! Window shatters. Crazy dude, dressed like a bunny - full bunny suit, ears and all - standing there, hatchet in hand. He had smashed out their window. Warns them to leave and never come back. They haul ass out of there, right? Tell the cops. The psycho threw the hatchet at them or something, cause they had it with 'em. Cops never found anything. They'd find corpses out there like every year after that."

“That’s crazy,” I said. It sounded tame compared to the stories we told and retold growing up. New Jersey is a messed up place.

“That was Halloween night. If you go out there on Halloween, the Bunnyman comes out and tries to chop you up.”

“No, Scott.” I finished my beer and put the empty can down on the dewy grass. “We’re not going out there.”

“We’re going out there,” he said, completely ignoring me. “We gotta. It’s awesome.”

I sighed. You can’t talk Scott out of doing stupid things... ask any of the emergency room doctors that had stitched his ass back together over the years. “Fine. We’ll go.”

Scott was like a kid on Christmas Eve. It was two weeks before Halloween, and I figured he’d get drunk and forget all about it.

I was wrong.

Halloween crept up on me and that entire day Scott wouldn’t stop going on and on about our trip to Bunnyman Bridge. He filled the gas tank in his Jeep, bought snacks, even paid for some decent weed to smoke on the way out there. At this point I’d be a dick to say no, so off we went.

The drive from Norfolk to Clifton took a little over three and a half hours. We were going way out there - it’s a tiny place, lots of historical significance. Not even 300 people living there full time. The bridge was outside of town, on a back road near some old homes.

I didn’t believe for a minute that a crazy killer in a bunny costume would be wandering around at midnight. It had been almost 45 years since the story first popped up. But I do believe in being prepared. I’d been in the habit of carrying a small pistol with me everywhere I went since moving to the state. I wasn’t stupid enough to leave it home. We weren’t trespassing, so I wasn’t afraid of getting in trouble. I have my concealed carry permit.

Better safe than sorry, right?

We rolled through the old town before midnight and made our way to the outskirts. During the day, I’m sure it would be a beautiful place to visit. Old churches, a steam locomotive parked on the tracks... a true throwback to the idyllic Americana of sixty years ago. At night, the tall peaks on the buildings cast odd, angular shadows against the ground, elongated by the light of the full moon. There were no street lamps - or any kind of electric light. Most of the buildings we passed were dark.

Once we drove through town and onto the back roads, it was even worse. Dense treetops bowed out over the road, blocking the moon for the majority of the drive. The headlights fought to pierce the thick fog covering the roadway. Scott couldn’t have picked a better night to come out here.

I'm not easy to scare. But my palms were starting to sweat a little. The hair on my forearms was on end, sending tiny pinpricks of electricity up my spine every time they brushed the interior of the car. Despite the balmy weather, I felt a chill creep along my skin.

We rode in silence for the better part of the trip before Scott pulled over and parked. He turned to face me, looked me in the eye and grinned. “We’re here.”

Without breaking eye contact, he killed the headlights and turned off the engine. The world descended into darkness, an inky black nothing that swallowed us up. Without the thrum of the old Jeep’s engine, it was as quiet as a grave. The sudden silence left my ears ringing.

“So, we drove all the way out here… now what?” I looked out the window, squinting, trying to see. The scant moonlight that cut through the canopy of leaves didn’t illuminate much.

“We walk to the bridge.” Scott didn’t wait for me to respond - he got out of the car and closed his door. He began walking down the road, not looking back.

I wasn’t about to let him wander off without me. Scott is a disaster waiting to happen and I didn’t feel like spending my evening with him in the ER again. I jumped out of the Jeep and followed him.

The road meandered through the thick trees for a few hundred yards before coming to a tight curve. We walked through the still night, side by side. Rounding the bend in the road, we reached an area where the tree cover was thinner and the moonlight broke through.

The road narrowed into a concrete tube cutting through a small raised embankment. It was too dark to see the top of the elevated roadway. In the waning moonlight, the tunnel was little more than a yawning black opening, flanked in pale gray concrete.

“Bunnyman Bridge,” Scott said with a sense of triumph in his voice. He took out his phone and turned to face me. Leave it to this idiot to take a selfie at a time like this, I thought.

He made a stupid face, moved the phone around to line up the photo, and pressed the screen. As he did, I noticed movement near the tunnel. At first, I thought I was seeing things, but then I saw it again.

From the bushes on the side of the structure, a tall, white form emerged. Scott saw the look on my face and spun around, phone in hand. The flashlight on his iPhone came on and lit up the roadway.

Standing there, in front of the gaping black maw of the underpass, was a man in a bunny suit. Well over six feet tall and gangly, all limbs and no mass. There was a yellow and red fire axe gripped in his hands. The long, slender ears of the bunny suit swayed behind him as he slowly made his way toward us.

Dark patches stained the front of his suit. I didn’t need to stretch my imagination to figure out what it was - blood.

Scott stammered and backpedaled into me. Without thinking, I reached behind me and removed my compact pistol from its holster. I pointed the gun at the approaching form and leveled the Tritium sights on center mass.

“Back. The fuck. Up.” I tried to sound commanding, but even I could hear the warble in my voice. “I’ll fucking shoot you, swear to god.”

"Leave," he said.

The Bunnyman didn’t stop. He continued moving towards us, closing the gap. The axe swayed back and forth in front of him, and as he neared I could see there was blood on the blade.

I told myself to be rational. This was obviously a guy playing a prank on Halloween. He was trying to scare some idiots who came to see the bridge.

But most people would drop that shit in a heartbeat when there was a loaded gun pointed at them. He kept coming. The movement was slow, but he kept pacing towards us. I couldn’t see his face in the deep shadows but I could tell - I knew - that he was staring me in the eye.

He pivoted and ran, full bore, toward Scott.

I didn’t hesitate.

I exhaled, relaxed my arms, and squeezed the trigger. Gently.

The recoil shook my already strained muscles. The Bunnyman staggered, slowed, and slumped down into the roadway. He had only moved a few dozen feet from the mouth of the tunnel to where he now sat. The scent of cordite tainted the cool night air.

Crimson oozed from the front of his suit and joined the darker brown patch already there. The axe slipped from his grip, making a dull clunk on the asphalt.

Scott stammered, mouth moving like a dying fish. He turned and ran back toward the Jeep.

I kept the gun trained on the man and approached with caution. The bullet had struck him in the chest, but not in the heart. Still, I was sure he wasn’t going to last long. I moved to the side, kicking the axe away from him. “Scott, call the police,” I yelled. He didn’t respond. I let go of the gun with my left hand and reached for my phone.

My right hand, still holding my pistol, betrayed my frayed nerves. It vibrated at the end of my arm.

The man coughed and sputtered, blood splattering his lips. “P-please,” he choked out. He reached for his midsection. I assumed he was going to press his hand to the wound, but it disappeared into a pouch on the front of the bunny suit. I hadn’t noticed it due to the huge, dark smear across the front. His hand came out holding a furry, black object.

A rabbit, neck broken and head hanging limply to the side. He reached his arm as far forward as he could - which wasn’t far - and tried to fling it to his side, back toward the tunnel opening. It landed two feet away with a sickening thud.

He looked me in the eye. For the first time, I really took in his features. He was young - my age, younger even. Clean cut. I don’t know what I was expecting. Crazy eyes, maybe? Homeless drifter meth mouth? I’m not sure. But it wasn’t this.

“Please,” he coughed out again, motioning towards the rabbit. He opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a pained cry, followed by a wheezing, gurgling sound. I had hit him in the lung.

I stared at the rabbit, trying to understand the situation. I was in shock, looking back on it. You never know how you’re going to react to the fucked up situations life throws at you until you’re there.

That was the first time I paid attention to my surroundings since I initially saw him. The moon had shifted and I could see the opening of the tunnel now. And the large, black fingers splayed on either side of the concrete.

The opening was at least 12 feet wide, and somehow these hands were grabbing both sides at once. Hands that had to be a foot long, easy.

Two tiny red orbs danced in the darkness, the light refracting and giving them an odd, pale glow.

That’s when I first heard the scratching. Slow, like the labored dragging of heavy furniture across an ancient wooden floor. Followed by a ticking, tapping sound.

The Bunnyman heard it too. His eyes grew wide, his mouth trembling. He attempted to speak again but all that came out was that wet, rattling cough. He fell over trying to reach for the rabbit.

I’m not sure why I didn’t run for the Jeep. I sincerely wish I had. Phone and gun forgotten, I grabbed the rabbit carcass. It was still warm. I threw it, with everything I had left in me, into the dark opening.

The silence grew palpable, and the tapered shadow fingers retreated into the tunnel. I heard a sickening crunch. The dragging started again, retreating into the depths of the darkness.

I looked at the Bunnyman, laying on the ground, laboring to breathe. His face relaxed and he smiled. His unfocused eyes locked on mine, and he looked relieved.

“Y-your problem,” he said, then laughed. The laugh turned into a gurgling, choking noise, and then he laid still.

I walked to Scott’s truck and found him curled up on the floor in the back seat crying. I regained my senses enough to call the police at this point. They came out, took our statements and my pistol. They held us for a while.

The “Bunnyman” was a student who had been living in the area. We didn’t find out much else. They found two more dead bunnies in the pocket of his outfit.

They determined I had fired in self-defense and I wasn’t charged with any crime. Scott never asked to go to the Bunnyman Bridge again. He moved out a few months later, and I haven’t spoken to him since.

Time went by. My therapist told me that I imagined the thing in the tunnel. That it was my way of coping with killing a man who intended to do harm to me and my friend. I began to believe it.

October came again, and Halloween passed without incident. I was curious, though, about why I never heard anyone talk about the “real Bunnyman” after what happened. You’d think that would add to the legend, but I never saw it mentioned anywhere online or in the news. I was reading a forum post about local Virginia legends when the Bunnyman Bridge came up. Most people regurgitated the same old tales about escaped convicts and supernatural rabbits. But one person posted something that chilled my blood.

“They found another corpse this year. Eaten. Hasn’t happened in five, maybe six years. The Bunnyman must be gone.”

Cold crept up my spine. “The Bunnyman must be gone.” I could hear the sickening crunch of that thing eating the rabbit.

Corpses. Eaten. “Your problem.”

It took me a while to come to terms with what happened. I’ve spent the better part of this year driving to Clifton and walking through the tunnel during the day. I want to know every inch of that road before October.

Nobody is going to die this year. I’ve already purchased a bunny suit and an axe. I’m not sure where to get rabbits from, but I have time.

It’s only August, after all.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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justynaelizabethbutler · 5 years ago

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I love Autumn 🍂 in Colorado...the golden hues of yellows, coppers, crimsons....late September adventure and early October sunrise adventures....that light that warms my heart...to last the entire winter season... Colorado is one of the most stunning....the first sight of flurries ❄️🏔🥾🥾 blessed Adventurous Oliver +Alyssa for their Estes Park last October.... So looking forward to pumpkin 🎃 season again...and again.... Have a beautiful day lovers! "Justyna was there last June to capture the fire in our eyes shortly after our engagement. She immortalized the warmth and love of our marriage by photographing our wedding this past October. Finally, in March, we celebrated our relationship in a…less than traditional way. With all the formal events behind us, we decided to claim our own song of fire and ice. Back-lit by the mountains and a brief pink sky as the sun dawned over the rocky peaks, we donned our cloaks and furs and hung swords at our sides. For our final adventure shoot with Justyna, we decided to try for something epic and unusual, and so we let out geek flag fly. It was more fun that we could have hoped, and so incredibly us. So many of the major moments in our relationship were spent in the mountains. The wilds are a part of our couplehood now. We are so lucky that we had such an amazing photographer along with us for so many of those adventures, using her artistic eye to preserve them forever. We will cherish these photos always. in the tin cold of morning when the earth sighs awake and fills the empty lung of sky with birdsong and living things, you are the warmstone. you are the gold on the blue rocks and the salmon cliffs, the granite that I lean against to melt frost into dew. my Bronze Dawn, please listen: if I glisten, it’s because of you."-Oliver+Alyssa When looking for the right to capture your love story....make sure you FOLLOW YOUR HEART......not a budget! Invest in your adventure experience....invest in your memories to last a lifetime. www.justynaebutlerphotography.com . . . . . . . . . . . . #coloradoweddingphotographer @theknot #justynaebutler #intimatewedding #intimateweddingphotographer #elope #elopement #elopementphotographer (at Rocky Mountain National Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2mcBWzBdta/?igshid=5htha3hacshu

#coloradoweddingphotographer #justynaebutler #intimatewedding #intimateweddingphotographer #elope #elopement #elopementphotographer

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lindseyluvsdrag · 7 years ago

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Knocked Up Ch. 6

In case you missed it: Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

“Mom!” Violet said in shock.

“Well, don’t be rude. Invite me in,” the woman replied.

Violet clenched her jaw and stepped to the side. “Come in.”

“What’s with your tone?”

“I wasn’t expecting you is all. You know how much I hate that.”

The woman removed her shoes while her daughter retrieved a bag and placed them in the closet. “I told you to call me after your ultrasound appointment and you didn’t so I had no choice but to come over. It’s my grandmotherly right to do these things, dear. Now let me see your sonogram photos.”

“Mother, I-”

Matt awkwardly cleared his throat as he entered the room. “Hello.”

Violet shot him a scowl that made him wish he would’ve stayed hidden.

Her mother gave her a look. “I didn’t know that you had company,” she said in a judgemental tone. “You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t even be indulging in male company.”

Matt let out an immature chuckle. “Male company,” he mumbled.

“Is that funny to you?” her mother asked, clearly annoyed.

Terrified, the man fumbled to answer.

“I’m talking to you, you pervert! You want to mess around with a woman while she’s with child?!”

“Mom!” Violet interjected. “First of all, we aren’t messing around.”

“Then who is this?”

She was reluctant to answer, but Violet had no choice but to claim the man. “This is Matthew…the baby’s father.”

Her mother’s face and demeanor changed nearly instantly. “Oh!” She laughed lightheartedly. “Well it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Matthew. My name is Julia.” The woman extended her hand.

Matt accepted her hand into his. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Julia.” Always one to turn up the charm, he kissed the back of her hand.

The middle aged woman blushed. “Oh, stop it you. Violet, you didn’t tell me that he was so handsome! The baby will be stunning!”

“I’d like to think so too,” Matt said smugly.

“Absolutely,” Julia continued. “I’m sorry for initially calling you a pervert. I thought my daughter was going through her tramp phase again for a second there.”

“Tramp phase, you say?” Matt cheekily asked.

“Mom, I did not have a ‘tramp phase’.”

“It’s okay, honey. We all have them but yours was particularly bad.”

“I’d love to hear all about it,” the man continued, testing Violet’s urge to throw a vase at him.

“Well, have a seat!” Julia chirped as she patted the spot next to her.

“Oh, I’m not allowed to sit on the couch.”

“Whatttt? Violet your OCD is getting out of control!”

“Mom, he was homeless! I don’t want that on my couch.”

“You’re being very ignorant.”

Matt agreed but he couldn’t stand to see the look of frustration on the Violet’s face.

“Well, that’s your opinion, Mom.”

“It’s a fact. Now, go fetch your sonogram, sweetheart. I wanna see!”

The woman rolled her eyes as she stormed off. By the looks of things, Matt doubted that she’d be coming back.

“Could I have a bottle of water, please?” Julia asked Matt.

Unsure if he had the authorization to do such a thing, Matt figured that water wouldn’t hurt. He retrieved a bottle for the woman and himself before returning to the room. Leaving the kitchen with any kind of food related item was obviously against the rules and doing so made him so nervous that he jumped when he mistook his own shadow for Violet. But when he saw that the coast was clear, the man took his chances as he handed a bottle to the woman. She opened it and took a sip. “Matthew, have a seat.”

“I’d rather not. I know she doesn’t like it and-”

“Matthew,” the woman sternly repeated.

“Yes, ma'am.” Between Violet and her mother, Matt had no idea who was scarier. He made his way over to the adjacent sofa and cautiously sat down.

“So, you’re the father of Violet’s baby,” she sighed.

“Yes.” He took a sip of his water.

“Have you two worked out the details for the wedding yet?”

Matt was so taken off guard by the words that his choking made water shoot out of his nose and spray across the coffee table. Accompanied with the water that spilled onto the couch itself, the man began to panic. “Shit, shit, shit,” he panted as he rushed to the linen closet. The man grabbed a clean towel, dashed back into the living room and instantly went to work attempting to clean up the mess before Violet returned.

Julia chuckled. “That was a lively reaction to the word ‘wedding’.”

Matt cleared his throat. “It’s just that Violet and I still don’t know each other very well.”

“That didn’t seem to stop you from making a baby.”

He let out a nervous laugh. “True.”

“Therefore, you need to step up to the plate for your family.”

“Family,” he exhaled as he imagined a vintage film reel of Violet and the baby on Christmas day. The blonde haired, blue eyed child gnawed on his latest toy while Matt gave his new golf club a practice swing. He wore the unintentionally ugly sweater that Violet had created during her knitting phase. It was two sizes too big and the woman insisted on tossing it into the fireplace but Matt sported it proudly. The real joy came when he watched as Violet tore into the small package that ‘Santa’ had left her. She gasped when she saw the diamond bracelet. The woman pushed herself off of the floor and threw her arms around Matt before they shared a kiss.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Violet shouted.

Matt’s vintage film reel screeched to a halt. “Huh?”

“What did you do to my couch?!”

“I-I-I spilled water, but I’m cleaning it up. I’m sorry.”

Violet instantly turned a lively shade of crimson as she began to hyperventilate.

“Violet, do not throw one of your fits,” Julia ordered. “It’s just water.”

“Exactly!” the pregnant woman exploded. “My couches are suede! Once it’s wet, it’ll never be the same! And you’re scrubbing ittt! That’ll ruin the texture!” she screeched.

“Violet!” her mother shouted in attempt to reign in the woman’s tantrum but it was too late.

“No! Get out! Mom, leave! Here are the pictures, just get outttt!”

“Gladly, because I’m not dealing with your attitude today.” Julia grabbed her things and retrieved her shoes. “I’ll call you,” she sighed before exiting.

“Matthew, get out!”

“Violet, I literally have nowhere to go. The shelter stops taking people in at six, I’d have to sleep on the sidewalk.”

“I don’t care! Get out, get out, get out!” The woman was so hysterical that she clung to the wall as she began to sob.

Matt made his way over. “Violet, please calm down. Being this upset, can’t be good for the baby.” The woman tried to speak but her words came out as a jumbled hyperventilation. More worried than ever, Matt quickly grew desperate enough to grab the woman’s hands. “Breathe. Is a little water on the couch worth putting the baby’s life in jeopardy?”

Violet took a few shallow breaths. “No,” she sniffled.

“Exactly, so just calm down. I’ll even cook you something if you want.”

The woman pouted as she nodded.

Matt was ecstatic that Violet hadn’t snatched away and that he was actually getting somewhere with her for once. “What would you like?”

“Anything with cheese.”

“How about a cheeseburger?”

She nodded.

“Alright. I’ll make you a cheeseburger. In the meantime you should go relax.”

“I will.”

“Good.” Matt released her hands and decided not to push for a hug before turning on his heel and entering the kitchen.

Several minutes into his cooking, Matt did a double take when he saw what he thought was a astronaut pass the kitchen’s archway. “Violet?” he called. When the man didn’t get a response, he shrugged it off. But a loud whirring sound made him stop what he was doing and enter the living room. He saw the woman dressed in the puffy, white hazmat suit pushing a large steamvac across the already spotless hardwood floor. “Violet!” he called over the noise. “Violet!”

The woman stopped her machine and turned around. “Yes?” she said through the gas mask.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning,” she said as if it was obvious.

“ But you’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“I am! This is therapeutic.”

“You sound like Darth Vader and you look like you’re about to go alien hunting or something.”

“This is my germ-fighter hazmat suit,” she said proudly. “It has an air purifier and everything.”

“I’m sure it does. Do they come in my size?” he sarcastically asked.

“Yes! Do you want one? I’ll totally order one for you because I’m thinking about getting a little blue one for the baby and-”

“You know what? I’d better go check on those burgers.”

“Good idea.”

Matt pursed his lips and saved his cackle for when he reached the kitchen. “And she says I have bad fashion.”

By the time he finished cooking, the steamvac had stopped. Matt peaked around the corner to find Violet on her knees treating the water stain on the couch. The man felt terrible, but he hoped that the food would be some semblance of an apology. “Violet, the burgers are ready.”

“Yayyy.” The woman pushed herself off of the floor, washed her hands three times and sat at the kitchen counter. She gasped. “You made french fries too?! How?!”

“By cutting up the french fry monster,” he teased.

Violet scoffed. “Asshole.”

He let out a dry chuckle. “But seriously, I’m really sorry about the couch.”

“The water spots are going away so I ordered a new couch. It’ll be here tomorrow.”

Matt frowned. “I shouldn’t have had water near it in the first place.”

“Agreed.”

“And I hope that you can forgive me,” he said as he slid the plate full of food in front of her.

“I forgive you,” she said nearly instantly prior to grabbing the cheeseburger with both hands. She took a large bite and practically moaned.

Matt laughed. “Good?”

Violet nodded as she chewed and held her hand in front of her mouth while she spoke. “Could you give me a pickle?”

“Sure.” The man speared a pickle from the jar in the refrigerator with a fork and passed it to the woman.

“Yumm. Thank you, Matthew.”

His heart softened at the genuine appreciation for what he’d done. But what pregnant woman wouldn’t be grateful to have a cheeseburger? he chuckled to himself. “You’re welcome.” The man leaned on the counter as he shoved a fistful of French fries into his mouth.

“Would you like to sit down?” Violet asked.

Matt was taken aback. “I can sit on the stool?”

She nodded. “As long as you don’t have anything sharp in or on your ass. It’s leather and I don’t want it to get punctured or scratched.”

“There’s nothing sharp in or on my ass,” he assured.

“Okay. But before you sit down, can I have another burger?”

“You don’t even look like you’re big enough to fit one burger inside of you, let alone two.”

“Trust me. There’s room.”

“Good to know that my kid won’t starve,” he chuckled as he made her another burger.

“I’m the one who’s starving! This kid has me so hungry all day.”

“Then eat up.”

“I should probably start working out, though. I’ve eaten more in these past few weeks than I’ve eaten in my entire life and if I gain one hundred pounds, I’m going to cry.”

“Nooo. No more crying,” Matt pleaded. “You could jog. I’d go jogging with you.”

She scoffed. “You’d be jogging alone. I don’t do that.”

“Well, we could walk then.”

Violet thought for a moment. “Maybe.”

The man laughed as he made his way to the seat next to the woman. Even though they were silent, Matt was just happy that she wasn’t yelling at him. When they were finished eating, Matt polished off three burgers to Violet’s two, but the woman matched him fry for fry.

“I’ll clean up,” Violet informed.

“Let me help do something.”

“You can help me by getting the bleach.”

Matt scoffed. “One, that’s not helping. Two, I don’t think you should be using bleach.”

“Fine, petty Betty. I’ll use Dynarex.”

“What’s that?”

“Medical grade disinfectant.”

“Are you kidding me?! Where do you even get this stuff?”

“Supply stores mostly, but if they don’t have anything strong enough I go online.””

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think any of the chemicals that you use are okay for the baby. The kid is going to be a mutant.”

The corners of the woman’s mouth turned upward.

“Whatttt? Are you smiling?”

She scoffed. “No.”

“You areee. I’m just saying that if you keep using these crazy chemicals, he’ll come out with green skin and a can of Lysol.”

The woman pursed her lips to fight the smile.

“We’ll call him Chachki mutant ninja baby.”

Violet giggled.

“Goals! I finally made you laugh!”

“No you didn'ttttt,” she groaned. “Having a defective child isn’t funnyyyy.”

“Then stop using those harsh chemicals! Haven’t you ever heard of the Honest Company with all that organic cleaning shit?”

“Nothing comforts me more than knowing that my house is germ free and distilled vinegar just doesn’t cut it.”

“Have you always been a germaphobe?”

“I’m not scared of germs… I just think they’re disgusting.”

He laughed. “Okay, well have you always been so focused on destroying them?”

“No,” she said softly. “When I was eight years old, I had spinal meningitis. I was bedridden for six weeks and nearly died.”

“Damn, that’s crazy.”

“All I can remember is asking the doctor what was wrong with me and he told me that it was bacterial infection. That just resonated with me. Bacteria is what nearly killed me. Bacteria is the devil.”

“That makes so much sense.”

“Some people may think that I take it too far but I don’t care.”

“I think your cleaning is fine, but while pregnant it worries me.”

“I understand. I guess I could try to use softer chemicals.”

“Promise?”

She nodded.

“Pinky promise.”

The woman was reluctant. “Do we have sanitizer on standby?”

Matt laughed. “I see that you got jokes.”

“I do have jokes. One of them is standing in front of me,” she said as she looked the man up and down.

“Ooooh, damn!”

Violet cackled.

“You are vicious.”

“Thank you,” she chirped as she slid off of the barstool and grabbed the plates.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything that I can do to help?”

“I’m sure. Having people in the way while I clean only stresses me out. Besides, you cooked. The least I could do is clean.”

“I guess. Well, I’ll shower then.”

“Are you sure you can handle that?” she teased. “Should I put an emergency button in there?”

“Ha-ha.”

She chuckled and the man left the room. After surviving a shower, Matt quickly became bored when he saw that Violet was still cleaning. He found a pen and blank pieces of paper and began to draw.

When she was finished cleaning to her standards, Violet made her way out of the kitchen towards her bedroom but Matt sprawled out on his stomach on the living room floor caught her eye. “What are you doing?”

“Making you something,” was his excited reply as he pushed himself off of the floor. “Here.” Matt handed Violet the booklet.

“Is this a comic book?”

“Yeah,” he said reluctantly, watching her face for a reaction.

The woman read the title out loud. “‘The Adventures of Chachki Mutant Ninja Baby Volume 1’.” Violet laughed. “You did nottt.” She flipped through the pages and took in the sketches of the green-skinned baby who carried a can of disinfectant as his weapon of choice. In each section, the hero took down his foes such as Germaella, E Co-liar and Bacterian, keeping the world safe from disease and making it home before his bedtime. “'Boom! I’m gonna make germz my bitch! Pow! Eat shit, Bacterian!’ Awwww, Matthew! I love it.”

“Re-Really?”

“Yes! It’s super cute and funny.”

The man blushed. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I really do.”

There was an awkward moment of ‘to hug or not to hug’ but Violet quickly solved that issue when she gave the man’s arm a firm squeeze. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiled and his heart skipped a beat.

Violet yawned. “I’m going to turn in for the night.”

“Okay,” Matt said quietly, watching as she turned on her heel.

The woman paused. “Do you need me to wake you up for work in the morning?”

“N- I mean…sure.” The man would never miss out on such an opportunity. Violet was a great sight to wake up to.

“Alright. Goodnight, Matthew.”

“My friends call me Matt.”

The woman scoffed. “Don’t get it twisted. I still hate your guts and you need to move out when you get your first paycheck.”

“Noted. You know…your mom mentioned something about a shotgun wedding. It’s totally old fashioned but…I don’t know.”

“And you agree with her?”

Matt shrugged. “I told her that we still don’t know each other very well, but what child doesn’t want their parents to be together…and happy. She just seemed to have a good point to me.”

“Let me tell you three things about my mother, Matthew. Our relationship is very complicated. If you think I’m crazy, it’s because she made me that way. And not everything she does is in my best interest.”

Compared to the amazing relationship that he shared with his own mother, Matt felt terrible hearing that the woman didn’t seem to have the same thing. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is but I’m just not going to marry you because I’m pregnant. I’m not going to marry you because you’ve trapped me with a child. I’m not going to marry you to save face. I’m not going to marry you to 'make the baby happy’. I love my baby but being legally tied to you for his sake, especially when you literally have nothing that will benefit me or my child, makes no fucking sense.”

Every single word was like a dagger to Matt’s heart. Although the man agreed completely, being reminded of what a failure he was always sucked. He nodded. “I understand. I’m just telling you what she said.”

“She’s just, ugh. I don’t have time for that headache. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Matthew,” she repeated as she made her way down the hallway with the handmade comic book cradled safety in her hand.

—

Violet happily strolled into work early the next morning.

“You look cute,” Naomi complimented. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Oh my God, after you left it got worse. My goddamn mother shows up unannounced, meets Matthew and all of a sudden there’s talk of marriage- what the hell kind of shit is that?”

“That’s crazyyy. Although, I do think you guys would make the cutest little family ever.”

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not! I think Matt’s cute, I think you’re cuter and the baby will be the cutest little banana everrrr.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “Where is my more realistic friend because you’re delusional.”

“Just imagine the wedding fashion though, Violet. You’re being selfish by not going through with this.”

The woman laughed.

“Violet!” Sutan shouted over the intercom. “In my office, now!”

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing… unless he knows,” she whispered. “Fuck- am I showing?”

“Not at all, those stripes are super flattering.”

The woman groaned and made her way to her boss’s office, knocking on the glass insert prior to entering. Sutan’s platinum foil suit, matching chaps and sleek glitter coated hair made Violet wish that she’d worn her sunglasses to the meeting.

“Sit, sit, sit,” the man ordered.

Violet obliged. “What can I do for you, Sir?”

“Because the fashion world is so fast paced, it seems as though everyone has forgotten about vomit-gate. I’ve calmed down and I’m ready to talk about your promotion.”

“I can have my column back?” she asked hopefully.

“Pfft. I’m not that calm.”

The woman’s face fell.

“The reason I called you into my office is because I love the snippets you’ve sent me from your latest article. I know you have way too much potential to just be doing articles and I know you’re hungry to make it in this industry, in fact you’re starving.”

Violet nodded.

“The only problem is my pettiness. You embarrassed me, therefore you should be out completely.”

She gulped.

“The only reason that you aren’t on the streets robbing gas stations for their fashion magazines is because I know that nobody has an eye for the little details like you do. Which is why I want you to direct the middle spread that we have coming up.”

The woman's eyes grew wide. “Are you serious?!”

“As a rash on your genitals.”

Violet was too happy to be grossed out by the analogy. “Sir, that’s an amazing opportunity. I’d be honored.”

“As you should be. This would be a weekly thing for you had you not lost your promotion but I want to test the waters and make sure that I’m not wasting your talents on shoelace articles.”

She laughed. “You won’t be disappointed, Sutan.”

“I better not be. You’re dismissed.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

After work, Violet instantly celebrated her 'test the waters’ assignment with her friends over dinner. She was actually mindful of the clock this time, making sure to be home before Matt got off of work at nine. The woman was in the middle of scanning through spread ideas when the doorbell rang. She opened it and let the man in. Her initial glance of Matt in a butcher’s cap made her laugh, but the smell of fresh blood and raw meat quickly fumigated the entire house, making the woman violently nauseous. She thought it was a one time incident, but when Matt came home day after day smelling of rotten chicken gizzards, it made the woman want to die.

Violet clung to the sides of the toilet as she vomited just to keep her head from dipping into the bowl. Matt felt terrible. “Do you want to go to the ER?”

“Nooo,” she groaned in agony. “I want you to shower ten times and then quit that job.”

“Bu-bu-but I can’t quit. They’re the only people who called back and could hire me on such a short notice. I need to make money for the baby.”

“There won’t be a baby if I keep getting sick like this and can’t keep food down. That smell is just, ugh-” she got out before retching again.

“Okay, what if you wear your germ-fighter suit?” he asked, desperate for a solution.

“I don’t want to be uncomfortable in my own home, Matthew. Quit the job!”

Beyond frustrated, Matt stormed out of the bathroom. Once he made it to his room, he was unemployed again.

—

Violet was on set of her latest project and she couldn’t believe how much fun being the director of a photoshoot could be. She had the freedom to work with the featured designer, help accessorize the models and place them wherever she wanted along the set.

“Can I have you here? And you make sure you serve face the entire time. You’re wearing red leather swimsuit for fucks sake, darling. Be fierce. Okay,” she chirped as she rushed behind the camera. The photographer took a few test shots prior to getting Violet’s thoughts. “Yes! It looks amazing.”

The models did their jobs, looking good and posing in the summer collection. The energy around the room was electric and Violet was clearly in her happy place as she did what she did best: boss people around. The woman was certain that she’d get her promotion back. “Okay, switch outfits pleaseee.”

As the designer and models scurried about, Violet turned in search of the refreshments table and when she found it, she immediately became nauseated when she saw the sushi. The raw meat reminded her of Matt’s vile butcher smell. No, no, no, she groaned internally. This is going so well, don’t fuck it up. “Um, Magnus, I’m gonna step outside for a breather, okay?”

“You alright?” the photographer asked.

“Yeah… it’s a bit stuffy in here.”

“Okay, doll, but we’ll be ready soon.”

“I know, I know. I’ll be right back.” Violet stepped outside and took in as many inhales of fresh air as she could, but it did little to settle her queasy stomach. “Fuck,” she groaned when she knew that the vomiting was inevitable. The woman made her way to a nearby trashcan and spewed her breakfast into it. Violet had no idea how much time had passed when her stomach finally settled down, but when she returned to the set, her heart sank when she saw Sutan taking over the shoot.

“Nice of you to join us,” he told her.

“Sutan, I’m-”

“Save it for someone who cares. And in this industry, that’s not very many people.”

“I know,” she sighed.

“You’re dismissed.”

“Thank you for the opportunity,” Violet said before turning, saving her tears until after she left the room.

—

While Matt waited for job callbacks, he laid out on the living room floor with his colored pencils. “Boommm! Vurrrrummm! Ahhh! Booosssh!” the man let out, making his own sound effects as he shaded in the comic book. He was surprised when he heard the door unlocking. The man wasn’t expecting Violet to be back until after five. He quickly folded the book and stood to greet her but was shocked to see Raven and Naomi enter the condo.

“Oh, hi, Matthew,” Naomi said. “Is Violet back yet?”

“No. Is there something I can help you with?”

Raven scoffed. “If we need our mirrors broken, we’ll call you.”

Naomi patted her friend’s hand. “Be nice. We wanted to celebrate with her after her big day.”

“Oh, cool. She was super excited this morning,” Matt said.

“We know,” Raven snarked. “We’re her best friends, she spoke to us.”

Matt defensively raised his hands. “Okay.”

“So you’re home coloring while she works all day?”

“No, I’m at home applying for jobs and waiting to be called back all day.”

“It clearly isn’t working so why don’t you just go back to LA?”

“Come on, Rave. Give him a break.”

“No, he’s older than all of us and can’t even get a job. How on Earth do you expect to take care of a baby?”

“The same way that your sugar daddy takes care of you,” Matt retorted.

“Oh hell no!” the women said collectively.

“Where did you hear that I had a sugar daddy?” Raven demanded. “I don’t have a sugar daddy, I’ve never had a sugar daddy, if I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably could go out and get one because I am what? Sickening. You couldn't even get a sugar mama, hell, your baby mama wants nothing to do with you. She hates that she had drunk sex with a loser. Baby everything I have I have worked for and I have gotten myself. I’ve built myself from the ground up…bitch!” She shouted as she kicked and crushed his colored pencils under the weight of her heel.

Matt gasped and relatalited the only way he knew would bother the woman. He touched her face. “I was at a homeless shelter and shook hands with everyone!”

Raven slapped his hand away. “Ewwww!”

“You’ll probably get hobo warts,” he added.

Raven gagged. “I’m literally going to throw up.” The woman rushed into the bathroom leaving Naomi to shout at Matt.

“Why would you do that?!”

“She crushed my pencils!”

“So! Buy new ones! Oh, wait, you can’t afford it because you're an unemployed prick!”

“You guys don’t like me anyway so what’s the fucking point in you even talking to me.”

“I actually started to like you, but now, I’d probably slap your ass if I wasn’t scared to catch something.”

The man dramatically coughed out into the air around the woman.

“Ugh!”

At that moment, a sobbing Violet entered her home forcing Matt and Naomi to stop their altercation immediately.

“What’s wronggg?” Naomi asked as her friend fell into her arms.

“Sutan hates me and I want to dieeee,” the woman whimpered. “Wh-Why are there crushed pencils on my floor?” she asked, immediately turning to Matt.

“Raven! She stepped on them!” he relayed as if he was a small child tattling to his mother.

The woman emerged from the bathroom. “You want to know why I stepped on them? Because they were all over the fucking floor!”

“Bullshit!” Matt retorted. “You got mad because I called you a sugar baby.”

Violet’s eyebrows furrowed at the bizarre statement and even more so at the presence of her friends. “What are you guys doing here? What’s going on?”

“We came to celebrate your spread! How did it go?”

Violet burst into tears all over again. “Everything was going so well but seeing sushi made me feel nauseous. I rushed outside to get some air but I ended up vomiting and when I went back inside, Sutan had taken over and he just told me to leave,” she wept. “I don’t even know if I have a job to go to on Monday.”

The woman was pulled into the embrace by her friends.

“Okay, that’s it. We totally need a girl’s trip,” Raven said.

“Yes!” Naomi cheered. “Where to?”

“Anywhere with a beach.”

“How about Cancun? We haven’t been there in awhile. How does Cancun sound, Vi?”

“Amazing,” she sniffled. “I just really need a break.”

“Then it’s settled,” Raven chirped. “Start packing.”

The women all shared kisses before Raven and Naomi exited.

Violet sighed. “Matthew, what the hell.”

“I’ll clean this up,” he promised.

“You know that’s not going to work…just, ugh. I’ll handle it.”

The man knew that there was no fighting the woman on the topic so he simply nodded. “So your boss just told you to leave?”

She nodded.

Matt scowled. “What an asshole.”

“I don’t want to think about that right now.”

The man quickly changed the subject. “So, Cancun, huh?”

“Yeah, I love Mexico. Have you ever been?”

“I’ve never left the country. In fact, this is the first time that I’ve ever been out of Los Angeles.”

Violet’s jaw dropped. “That’s so crazy.”

“Yeah, but I’ll travel the world one day.”

“Well, it’s pretty mandatory that we take the baby to Disney World.”

He chuckled. “That’d be amazing.”

While Violet retrieved the broom, Matt picked up what remained of his pencils. “Why do your friends hate me so much?” he asked when the woman returned.

“Because I talk shit about you behind your back.”

“Well that makes sense. So…what am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

“Find a job that doesn’t make me vomit.”

“Noted.”

“Don’t destroy my house.”

“Never.”

“Don’t go into my bedroom.”

“Okay. How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know, Matthew,” she exhaled in exasperation. “You were there when they brought it up ten minutes ago. All I know is that I’m going to pack every bathing suit that I have and sit by the pool while hot guys fan me with banana leaves.”

The man frowned. “So…since we aren’t together…”

Violet shot him a look. “What?”

“Do I get to date women and bring them around the baby?”

“Absofuckinglutely not. There’s no way I’ll have a bunch of random women around my child.”

“So how long would I have to be dating a woman for it not to be considered random anymore?”

“Five years.”

“Are you serious?!”

“As a rash on your genitals.”

The man wrinkled his nose. “All I’m saying is that if I fall in love with someone, I’d want them to be a part of my life, just like the baby will be.”

“And all I’m saying is, fuck any little bitch that you want, just know that they won’t be around my kid simply for that reason.”

“Fair enough.”

“Me, on the other hand, I will have lots of sex before I become as big as a whale.”

Matt laughed. “Ohhh, so there’s the tramp phase your mother had mentioned.”

“Fuck all the way off.”

“Why would she say that then?”

“Because I was a wild teenager.”

“Really? I can’t imagine that. I see you as the preppy cheerleader type. The type that used to bully me,” he chuckled. “Well you bully me now, so.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “I hated the cheerleaders because their outfits were tacky.”

The man laughed. “So what made you wild?”

She paused for a moment. “I feel like I had the perfect childhood. My siblings and I were so happy, we traveled the world and everything was great. But when I was fourteen, my mom had an affair and it instantly resulted in a divorce. I couldn’t cope with having a broken home.”

“I feel like when you’re young, that really fucks you up.”

“It does! And my parents played tug of war with us over where we wanted to live. I was a complete daddy’s girl but he wanted to move to Miami and I just couldn’t do it. New York is where fashion thrives.”

“Oh wow, at that age you knew that fashion is what you wanted to do?”

“Pfft, I knew from birth. I’d cry when they tried to put me in generic onesies.”

Matt laughed.

“So my mother made my decision to stay in New York all the more easy when she brided me with designer labels and trips to Paris. But then when she got remarried she tried to implement all of these rules that I wasn’t used to so I rebelled. I stayed out late, I smoked, I drank, I fucked every boy I could get my hands on- literally to the point where parents would call my mom telling her to ‘keep her slutty daughter on a leash’. It was a mess.”

“Holy shit. I would’ve never imagined you as that girl.”

“Yeaahhh. I was that sloppy bitch.”

“Well then not much has changed.” The joke earned Matt a slap on the arm. "Ooo, do it again,” he teased.

“You’re such a perv.”

“Thanks,” he said with a wink. “So what made you change your wild side?”

“Believe it or not, my mother cheated on her new husband with my father, so they divorced and my parents got remarried. My father wasn’t having my behavior and he knew just how to scare me shitless. Threatening to take my labels away, not wanting to pay for my fashion school and all that nonsense so I got myself together.”

“Is that all it took?” Matt chuckled.

“Yes! Like what girl doesn’t want the simple things in life? Her parents happily together and her designer labels.”

“Makes sense. I’m just happy to finally know the story behind the ‘tramp phase’.”

“Ugh, my mother. She’s just too much.”

“Are your parents still together?”

“They’re separated.”

“Aw, how come?”

“She fucked the pool boy.”

Matt pursed his lips.

“Exactly. I’m honestly surprised that she didn’t make a pass at you.”

“Well I doubt she’d want to mess around with her grandchild's father. That’d be a little too incestuous for anyone.”

“Not for people in Florida.”

Matt cackled. The man then helped in any way he could to clean up the mess before Violet began to pack. And when all of her travel plans had been set, Matt gave the woman a to-don’t list as he followed her out to the cab.

“Don’t eat anything weird. Don’t swallow ocean water. Don’t carry heavy stuff. Wait, should you even be traveling? What about the Zika?!”

“Calm down, Matthew. I’ve already been in contact with my doctor. Everything is fine. And when I get back, I have an ultrasound scheduled. She said we may even be able to confirm the gender of the baby by then.”

“How fucking excitinggggg,” he squealed.

“Very. So… I’ll see you in a week.”

“A week,” he sighed. “What did your boss say about that?”

“He approved Raven and Naomi’s days off because they already have their work for next week done but he told me that he didn’t care what I did.”

The man scowled and made a mental note. “Dick.”

“It breaks my heart but I’ll worry about that when I get back.”

“Be careful, Violet.”

“I will.”

The man reached out and gently palmed her stomach. Violet’s initial reaction was to slap his hand away but the woman felt oddly soothed by his touch.

“I can’t wait to meet the little guy.”

Violet smiled and for a second, let her guard down long enough to hug the man for the first time. Matt was taken aback but immediately wrapped his arms around her. The woman couldn’t believe how incredibly safe she felt in the man’s arms. She could’ve stayed there forever but the honk of the cab reminded her that it was time to go.

“Have fun. You deserve it.”

She nodded with wide, tired eyes.

“Oh!” he exclaimed as he pulled the handmade comic book from his pocket. “You’ll need reading material for the long flight.”

“Aww, thank you Matthew.” They shared another hug before the woman climbed in the cab. She closed the door but quickly rolled down the window. “If you destroy my house, I’ll destroy you.”

“Promise?” he said cheekily.

Violet rolled her eyes. “Goodbye, Matthew,” she said, rolling up the window as the cab sped off.

—

The three women were sprawled out on their beach towels soaking up the rays of the sun as they did what they best: judged people.

“Aw, how far along do you think she is?” Naomi asked.

“She’s not pregnant, she’s just fat,” Raven replied.

“Oh my God, that’s so mean.”

“It’s the truth though,” Violet interjected. “Her stomach is jiggly. If she was pregnant, it’d be firmer.”

“Thank you, our resident pregnant woman.” Naomi laughed as she glanced at her cellphone and smiled. “What do you guys think Bob is doing right now?”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Feeding some girl the same shitty lines he fed you.”

“I thought you were going to say feeding some girl pizza,” Violet said eliciting laughter from both her friends. “Whatttt? It’s the only logical conclusion.”

“You just want pizza.”

“I do!”

“Okay, five more minutes,” Raven pleaded. “I have to get my tan just right.”

Naomi grinned as she replied to the man’s silly Snapchat story.

“What do you guys think Matthew is doing right now? Please lie to me so that I don’t stress out about my apartment.”

“Picture it,” Naomi began, “he’s not even at your apartment anymore. He went back to LA because he finally realized that he wasn’t good enough for you or the baby.”

The thought made Violet pout. “Well, I don’t want him to leave, I just-”

“What?!” Naomi screeched. “Since when? Did you fuck him?”

“No! I just think he’s…a nice guy.”

Raven scoffed. “How did the topic go from thirsty Bob to the hobo? Why are we even talking about guys on a girl’s trip?”

“Cause that’s what you’re supposed to do,” Naomi replied. “And if you would give someone a chance, you’d have a guy to talk about too.”

“Oh, as if. And it’s not like Violet is dating Matthew. Why does she get to talk about him?”

“She skipped a few steps and went straight into having children so her 'man’ is an exception.”

“So you and Bob are an official thing?” Violet asked.

“Yesss,” she said with a hint of childlike excitement. “He’s perfect. So before I left, he-”

Raven grumbled under her breath as she pushed herself off of her towel.

“Where are you going? I was in the middle of a story.”

“An important story?”

“To me, yes. And as my friend, if it’s important to me, it should be important to you as well.”

“I'm just going to the boardwalk for a drink. Do you guys want anything?”

“No,” Naomi replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Can you see if they have pizza? If not, can you get pretzels? No, no a churro. I’ll take a churro.”

“Okay.” Raven sloshed through the sand away from the beach.

“Two churros!” Violet shouted after her.

“Okay!”

“So, what’s this about Matt?” Naomi asked. “You like him all of a sudden?”

“No, I don’t like him. I just see his potential. He’s trying so hard to get a job and provide for the baby and I think he’ll be a really good father.”

—

In nothing but his underwear, a white sheet tied around his neck and a pair of Violet’s cleaning goggles, Matt sprinted down the corridor of the apartment in search of heroic inspiration. “Oh, yeah. I love the way this cape flows.”

—

"Yeah. He’ll make a great father.”

“I don’t know, Vi,” Naomi said skeptically. “He’s just so immature.”

“I think he’s getting better though.”

—

Matt leapt off of his bed in dramatic fashion. “Hazaaaa! You’ll never take me alive, Galactitty!”

—

“I get what you’re saying, but he gave me the entire check for the week that he worked at the butcher shop. He told me to put it in the baby’s piggy bank.”

“Awww,” Naomi let out just as Raven returned.

“What are we 'awwwing’ about?” she asked as she gave Violet her churros.

“The possibility that Matthew might actually be adorable,” Naomi informed.

“Cargo pants,” Raven reminded causing the other women to cringe.

“Nevermind,” they said collectively before laughing.

—

Feeling fully inspired, Matt quickly began to scrawl into his sketchbook when he saw a copy of Girly Magazine on the coffee table. After mindlessly flipping through it, he saw the familiar name. “Sutan Amrull…the dick head,” he grumbled. Under the name was a list of contact information. Matt didn’t hesitate to call the first number he saw.

“Hello, thank you for calling the front desk of Girly Magazine!” the upbeat woman chirped. “My name is Jaymes, how can I help you?”

Matt deepened his voice before he spoke. “Um, yes. Hello, Jaymes, My name is…Seymour.”

“Hi, Mr. Seymour. How can I help you?”

“I’m the CEO of… Galactitty Magazine and I’d really like to speak to Sutan Amrull about a business proposition.”

“Oh, that sounds fabulous!” she squeaked. “He normally doesn’t take these types of calls himself, but I do think he’s available right now so why not. What was your name again?”

“Seymour.”

“Last name?”

Matt couldn’t control himself from saying the following. “…Butts.”

“Seymour Butts?”

“…Yes.”

There was a long pause but the energetic woman simply squeaked again. “Okay, Mr. Butts. I’ll put you right through!”

The man exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”

Moments later, a confused Sutan answered the phone. “Hello?”

Matt couldn’t believe that he’d actually gotten the man he’d grown to loathe on the phone. He refused to hold anything back. “Yes, Mr. Sutan Amrull. How dare you be such a prick towards Violet Chachki! You treat her like shit when she’s done nothing but her best. This is her dream job and she tries so hard, even while pregnant for fucks sake! Pregnant women can still work, but they get sick and need breaks sometimes!”

“Whoa, whoa, Violet’s pregnant?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know! Why else would she be throwing up all over the place?!”

He didn’t respond and it made Matt even angrier. “Fuck you, you selfish piece of shit! Violet deserves the fucking world and I hope you choke on the pages of your stupid magazine for not giving it to her! She’ll find a magazine that will actually appreciate her and Girly will be used to line pet cages with! Fuck you!” he fumed before hanging up.

—

“I feel like Captain Underpants,” Matt said as he scoured the kitchen in search of snacks just as his phone began to ring. Hopeful that it was Violet, he sprinted to the device and answered. “Hello?” he chirped.

“Why do you sound like fucking Mary Poppins?”

The man groaned. “Hey, Jake.”

“Don’t sound so excited to hear from me!” he said sarcastically.

“Sorry, I was expecting Violet to call. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just waiting for you to open the door.”

“Huh?” The doorbell rang. “What the fuckkk,” Matt gasped. He made his way to the front door, opened it and saw his best friend carrying a suitcase.

Jake’s expression went from excited to confused to a massive cackle. “What the actual fuck are you wearing, dude?!”

“I’m getting inspiration! What are you doing here?!”

“I came to visit you! You always sound so depressed over the phone and now I see why!” Jake pulled his friend into a headlock and rustled his hair. “You’re away from me for a few weeks and you lose your fucking mind!”

“Get…off…” Matt wheezed.

Jake dramatically kissed his head before releasing him.

“What are you doing here, Jake?”

“I told youuuuu. Visiting!”

“For how long? Where are you staying?”

“A week! While the baby mama is away, the guys will play!” he said as he delivered fake punches to the man’s abdomen.

“Okay, okay but where are you staying?” he repeated.

“Here!”

Matt took a few steps back. “Jake, you can’t stay here.”

“Why not?! Ding dong the witch is gone! I’ll leave before she gets back and she’ll never even know that I was here.”

“Dude, you don’t know Violet. She’s like Nancy Drew on steroids. She’ll know.”

“Well, my ticket to leave isn’t until Sunday morning and I don’t have enough money to stay at a hotel for a week.” The man pouted. “You gonna make me be homeless too, Matty?”

The man groaned. “Dudeeeee. Okay, fine you can stay here but there are strict rules that you have to follow.”

“Alright,” he said as he flopped onto the sofa with his dirty boots draped over the armrest. “Lay it on me.”

“Jake, get off of that couch, now!”

The man jumped up. “Why? Is there a spider?!”

“No! You’re not allowed to sit on the couch!” Matt rushed over to check the damage but was grateful that there wasn’t any.

“Why the fuck not? It’s a couch, they’re meant to be sat on.”

“Violet is…different.”

“Ohhhhh, yeah. I remember you telling me that she was a germaphobic bitch.”

Matt frowned. “Don’t call her that.”

“That’s what you said!”

“I know, but… things have changed.”

“Oh, God, don’t tell me that you’re fucking her. Dude, gross!”

“What?! No! I’ve just gotten to know her a little more and she’s really not that bad.”

Jake rolled his eyes.

“Besides, she’s pregnant with my kid so there has to be some sort of respect line drawn.”

“Gotcha. Now show me your palace!”

Matt gave the man a tour of the home and Jake wrinkled his nose. “This place is too sterile. It’s uncomfortable.”

“That’s the way she likes it.”

“Yuck. What room is this?” the man asked as he jiggled the doorknob.

“Violet’s bedroom.”

“Why’s the door locked?”

“To keep people out.”

“To keep people out or to keep you out?”

“Does it matter? It’s her house, she can do what she wants.”

“Whatevsss. What does she have to eat?” The man bolted into the kitchen with an underwear and cape cladded Matt following close behind.

“Jake, wait! Don’t touch anything without washing your hands three times first! Use gloves! Get a disinfectant wipe! Ugh!”

#pearlet #pearlet fanfiction

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