#Crackfics have some sorta healing properties istg

[sobashahzadi]

“The misadventures of Peke-j doing jackshit”

a crack fic I’ve been writing in my spare time I might finish it and upload it to ao3 once I get the invite back I dunno

“Hey Chifuyu?” Takemichi lowers his voice

“Yeah?”

“What do you think Peke-j does when your not home”

“Probably nothing much”

Oh how he was wrong, terribly, horribly, wrong

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Peke-j purrs sweetly as he appreciates his owners gentle hands against his fur, he stretches and lies himself down on his stomach

“Aw shit, yeah, that hit the spot” he thinks to himself, cats can’t talk, or at least humans don’t understand what their saying, so whilst Chifuyu might think Peke-j is nothing but a cat, living to simply survive, he’s very wrong, as there is much much more to Peke-j’s mind than anyone would have ever anticipated.

Chifuyu’s phone rings and he shifts to go anwser the call, Peke-j flinches at the sudden vibrations from his owners pockets but repositions himself quickly, closing his eyes.

“Really? Now Michi?” Chifuyu groans

“Okay, okay, fine, I’m on my way, I’m driving though!” Chifuyu gets up from his bed and stretches his arms out,

 “Hey Peke-j I’m heading out now to help michi with something, I’ll be back in a few, yeah?” He pats his head, not expecting an anwser,

“Leaving me already?” Chifuyu can’t understand him, obviously, yet Peke-j still anwsers, in his own way.

Chifuyu slips on his socks and hurried out the door, 

after a while Peke-j hears the click of the main door and slowly gets up. He climbs to the windowsill, still left open by Chifuyu and looks outside, 

the sky a brilliant baby blue with fluffy streaks of white, the sun shines down upon the spring blossoms, illuminating their splendour as Peke-j smiles to himself, in his own feline way

“Thought that bitch would never leave, suppose it’s time to go visit my hoes”

Peke-j sighs, well, the closest a cat can do to sigh at least

He carefully hops down windowsill after windowsill, gracefully stepping on his two front and then hind legs onto the hard cement ground right by his owners apartment block. 

He struts his way through dark alleyways, confidently hopping over discarded boxes, fences and the sort to reach his destination, which was his usual first stop of the day, his bottom bitch

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Sanzu exhales loudly as he explains his story for the third time, each time giving more and more detail to explain his frustration and to be quiet frank it doesn’t seem that Peke-j gives a shit yet he listens anyway,

The thing with Sanzu is that although he’s obnoxious as fuck, Peke-j feels sympathy for the poor soul, bless his heart

Also he gives the meanest head rubs and grooms his fur to perfection at each visit, something Chifuyu doesn’t seem to be bothered to do himself.

Sanzu brushes his hair gently and continues to ramble onwards;

“So then I asked Mikey ‘Why can’t we go see the Barbie movie?’ The trailer itself showed that it’s obviously going to be the greatest coming of age movie this century had ever seen, a cinematic masterpiece even! But, noooo, ‘It’s for girls’ he says, like excuse me? Long hair is feminine too and have you seen his ragged weave of damaged locks? Shitty excuse of hair, if you ask me, even my fucked up barbie dolls have better hair than that!” Sanzu mimics Mikey’s voice in a high pitched manner and then grumbles,

Peke-j wishes his ancestors had evolved to be able to cover their ears,